Note To Self: Don't Die
by Alva Starr
Summary: She was the one Merle called little rock and roll queenie. Black hair, tattoos...Daryl noticed she didn't back down despite the man having at least half a foot and 100 pounds on her. That girl stupid or what? Jesus, he said to himself, you don't corner somethin' that you know is meaner than you. Daryl/OC Rated M for Sexual Content and language.
1. Bourbon and Blues

******Welcome! I know there are LOTS of Daryl/OC pairings on this site-******** I _appreciate_ you giving mine a chance-with all that competition out there;)**

****** I think its a bit different than most I've seen. ****I have two goals:**

**1. I want to create an Original Character that people will really like and maybe identify with (especially if you are a little different and have your own version of beauty-you know who I'm talkin' about girls...) Outsider girl characters are the best! She grows into who she is supposed to be as much as Daryl does. **

**2. I was inspired to write Daryl by these Reedus quotes: **_"I'm trying to play him as a virgin who was constantly put down and had to fight for everything, as someone with a huge chip on his shoulder." And especially " Damaged people gravitate toward damaged people."_

*****The story focuses much more on characters interacting and their personal journeys than on knock down, drag out action scenes. Ultimately this is a story of that classic couple who make each other better.**

*****Rated M for language and **_**Strong sexual content**_** in later chapters. Don't want to surprise you if it's not your thing;)**

**I of course own nothing of TWD. I do own my OC and my original plot lines. All lyrics and poems are credited.**

*****Dream sequences, when a character talks to him or herself and passages from books are printed in italics***

******Reviews are always welcome. I appreciate anyone who takes the time to review so I reply to every one. They make the story better and make me write faster ;)**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

**"If Daryl falls in love with you, he's going to love you for the rest of his life."-Norman Reedus**

****ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_**I am not the first person you loved.**_

_**You are not the first person I looked at**_  
_**with a mouthful of forevers. We**_  
_**have both known loss like the sharp edge**_  
_**of a knife. We have both lived with lips**_  
_**more scar tissue than skin. Our love came**_  
_**unannounced in the middle of the night.**_  
_**Our love came when we'd given up**_  
_**on asking love to come. I think**_  
_**that has to be part**_  
_**of its miracle.**_  
_**This is how we heal.**_  
_**I will kiss you like forgiveness. You**_  
_**will hold me like I'm hope. Our arms**_  
_**will bandage and we will press promises**_  
_**between us like flowers in a book.**_  
_**I will write sonnets to the salt of sweat**_  
_**on your skin. I will write novels to the scar**_  
_**on your nose. I will write a dictionary**_  
_**of all the words I have used trying**_  
_**to describe the way it feels to have finally,**_  
_**finally found you.**_  
_**And I will not be afraid**_  
_**of your scars.**_  
_**I know sometimes**_  
_**it's still hard to let me see you**_  
_**in all your cracked perfection,**_  
_**but please know:**_  
_**whether it's the days you burn**_  
_**more brilliant than the sun**_  
_**or the nights you collapse into my lap**_  
_**your body broken into a thousand questions,**_  
_**you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.**_  
_**I will love you when you are a still day**_  
_**I will love you when you are a hurricane."**_  
_**-Clementine von Radics ( )**_

The bottle was between her knees. Jim Beam. Never Jack Daniels which Danni considered too much of a rock and roll cliché. She hadn't wanted alcohol in a long time. After being a very big drinker then an unquestionably bad one, she'd quit over a year ago. As Bessie Smith sang to her through her earbuds she waited for the liquors anxiety obliterating effect. She knew the ipod's battery would eventually die and wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to charge it again. She didn't know much about anything in the future near or far. Bourbon and blues were sure things. She took a big swig from the bottle as Bessie belted it out:

_I can't sleep at night, I can't eat a bite, Cause the man I love,He don't treat me right, He makes me feel so blue, I don't know what to do I ain't had nothin' but bad news, Now I got the crazy blues._

She was a singer so she sang along feeling pretty crazy herself at the moment. She loved old blues music. The emotion and strength of those women inspired her every day. Bessie, Billie, Ma Rainey. They were the original rock and roll women; underestimated pioneers in the music business, paving the way for Danni as much as a Janis Joplin or Joan Jett.

The alcohol burned but she didn't cough. She immediately downed another shot to stop that first quick wave of nausea. There. The brave feeling was washing over her. She could talk to anyone now. At that moment, however, she was alone with no one to tell it to. The guys had gone off hours ago. Maybe a day? She and her rock band were on their way to a show in Athens, when they hit the gridlock on the freeway into Atlanta.

"Well we missed sound check for sure." She had joked aloud but it wasn't funny. Since the band was touring for the past couple of weeks they hadn't paid much attention to the news. They were coming from Austin. The first sign of anything amiss was here in Georgia. After hours of confusion and watching stranded motorists panic, her band mates Hayes and Luke decided to walk up the road to get some information. Most of the other stranded motorists were doing the same. She stayed with the van to watch their equipment and keep trying to get a cell or radio signal.

So here she sat, stranded alone on a deserted Georgia highway, drinking whiskey when she should have been unloading the bands equipment through the back door of the club; it was probably four thirty or five o'clock by now. She should be at sound check setting up her amplifiers and tuning her bass and fighting with the sound guy for more vocals in her monitor.

What is the opposite of stage fright? Stage calm? Stage anticipation? Whatever it was Danni had it. She loved the dirty wooden platform. Its floor covered in pieces of gaffing tape, cigarette butts and tacky with congealed alcohol. The grimy rock and roll stage was her real home; she never wanted to climb down. The air in a dark club was thick and warm, smelling of stale beer and cigarette smoke. Her ears would be full of voices shouting in conversation, bottles clinking and raucous laughter. Before the house lights went down, she loved looking look out over the crowd. The audience was a sea of restless, impatient, intoxicated, diffident or enthusiastic twenty somethings. She felt real, validated when they watched her set up her equipment, check the mike, crouch down to tune her bass one last time. At each performance a piece of paper with the order of songs to be played was written out with a black sharpie marker and duct-taped to the floor next to her bottle of Rolling Rock beer. She used a thick plastic guitar pick to strum and hit the bass strings. Extra picks were taped vertically up the side of the metal stand that held the microphone in case she dropped the one she was using. Ritual tools. Every club provided a familiar grungy terrain under her converse sneakers or combat boots and an audience at her waist. She had always felt her place was on stage and that feeling was reciprocated. She'd pretty much run away from everything in her life except the rock and roll stage.

She wished she were there right now.

She opened the vehicle's side door for some air. She didn't want to be outside in the southern sun, but felt like a dog in a hot car with the windows up. She leaned back against the Marshall amplifier cabinet looking out at the woods and yellow yarrow flowers bordering the highway. The late afternoon the heat remained intense. She twisted her jet black hair up and tied it into a red bandana pushing her slightly sweaty bangs off of her forehead. The air on her neck felt good. She stretched her legs clad in tight black, stretch skinny jeans low on her hips; She had tied her thin white t-shirt up in a halter, knotting it just under her black bra which was slightly visible under the worn cotton of the shirt. Her usual attire.

She wasn't drunk, just confident. If she could maintain this feeling she wouldn't freak out. She would have started to worry if not for the liquor. She would have sat there alone until someone came and told her what to do if not for the liquor.

She decided to do a Tarot deck dip. Her grandmother had taught her to read tarot cards as a little girl and she'd never gotten out of the habit. Deck dipping was shuffling the cards and picking one to use as a touchstone, rather than lay a full spread. The method worked well in a pinch, when you just needed a little guidance. Danni pulled the Tarot cards and reference book from her army surplus backpack and breathed her energy into them. She shuffled and put the deck face down, then took the top card and turned it over. _The Wheel of Fortune. _ She opened to the page in her book and read:

_The Wheel of Fortune suggests there are external factors that are influencing your situation that may be unknown to you or outside of your control. It is as though the Universe is just dishing up whatever it pleases at this time, and it can feel quite unpredictable and unnerving as a result (especially if you like being in control most of the time!). _

Danni was a bit of a control freak_._

_This is one of the challenging aspects of the Wheel of Fortune since no matter which way the Wheel of Fortune turns, it is impossible to try and change it. You might as well try to accept what is happening and adapt accordingly. If a crisis seems inevitable, recall that in every crisis lies opportunity. When you have been pushed in a new direction, know that every path leads somewhere, even if you do not know where it is. Such events are simply out of your control, and if you can accept that then the ride gets a lot easier. If you struggle against the Wheel it will crush you. So just go with the flow!_

"Go with the flow," was a phrase she loathed.

_The Wheel of Fortune is about keeping optimistic and having faith in the Universe that it will take care of the situation in the best way possible. You need to remain optimistic yourself, thinking positively. This archetype allows your life to turn in more positive directions if you are willing to grow and expand. This is also a 'lucky' time in life when you are sensing the action of fate and destiny working in your favour. You may even be witnessing miracles or a very fortunate series of events._

She processed the message but it made no sense at the moment. The news going around was that some public health outbreak had hit. _Not very miraculous._The national guard had taken over some of the affected towns nearby. Now hundreds of people were trying to get to the city to a refugee center.

"Fuck this." She said to no one. After her fourth swig she needed to talk to people. That's what always happened.

Only cicada and crickets were singing after she took out her earbuds. She slid out of the van's side door and slammed it shut. She felt for the keys hanging from her belt. Shoving the bottle into her back pack it joined her journal, the tarot cards and leather man multi tool. She then locked the van, saying goodbye to the tapestry of Elvis hanging in the side window.

She hadn't walked long when she heard voices. Up ahead was one of those huge Winnebago RVs. She would have approached more slowly if not for the liquor.  
"Hey!" She called out as she got closer. "Anybody know what's going on?"  
Suddenly there were people in front of her. They were a mixed group. Looked like families. Two couples one with a little girl probably 8 and the other had boy about that age. There were two blonde women and an older guy who seemed to belong to the RV. As they watched her approach she wondered what they thought of her-walking up in her tight black jeans and tattered Black Flag band t-shirt tied up at her waist exposing her navel ring 2 sparrow tattoos; one above each hip bone. No one spoke in fact the group looked defensive.  
"I didn't know if I'd find anybody. My friends took off yesterday to get some information. They're not back." She initiated.  
After a minute a younger guy approached her. He wore a ball cap and looked like a college kid. He introduced himself. "I'm Glenn." He gestured around. "Your guess is as good as ours. This is crazy. We're trying to get to Atlanta to the shelter.  
"I'm Danielle, Danni actually." She offered.  
Another man stepped forward. He looked like someone's grandfaher on vacation in a Hawaian print shirt and worn bucket hat. He actually smiled. "Well, Danni, you're the first person we've seen in a while. I'm Dale." He held out his hand. It was a formal, but nice gesture so she shook it.

"Who is alive." Glenn had to add. it. After a couple more minutes the rest of the group started to approach her with questions.

"What's going on up that end of the road?" The guy approaching her now had an air of authority, like army or something. He was solid and had thick dark hair and a deeply tanned face. "Shane." Was all he said.  
She nodded at him then answered. "Its dead down there. Nobody stuck around, and nobody came back."

She noticed him staring hard at her navel ring flashing its red rubies, and the tattoos above her pelvic bones not even trying to pretend he wasn't. His eyes travelled down to her belt line then up to the knot in her t shirt just under her breasts. They lingered on her body, not really looking at her face while he spoke.

"Dead, huh nice choice of words." He drawled. He didn't smile. It was then she noticed the writing on his t-shirt said King County Sherrif's Dept. Nailed that one she thought. She knew his attitude, the way he thought he could just stare-take what he wanted with his eyes without asking and not look at her face while they talked. Normally cops made her a little nervous, but not when she was drinking. Nothing scared her then. She used to flirt with the officers back home as they put the on the handcuffs, arresting her for drunk and disorderly almost every Friday night. She'd wake up in a cell completely mortified and apologize sweetly to them as they escorted her out, a regular, laughing at her. But they were her friends, they knew her. This guy was different.

Hayes always paid her bail and brought her a coffee. It was always Hayes. Suddenly she missed her guitar player.

Right now she wasn't drunk enough to flirt with a cop, especially not this one. He actually made her feel uncomfortable and she was pretty comfortable with her body, her style. _Creeping me out _she thought, especially since it looked like his wife and kid were nearby. She heard them talking.  
"I'm hungry" the little boy whined.  
"I know Carl baby. We'll eat soon." His mother soothed him.  
"How? We don't have anything."  
"Look son, we'll figure out." Shane interjected.  
The tall, dark-haired mom looked exhausted. Danni thought she was pretty; her dark hair was long and wavy and her body model thin.  
"Hey, I have some energy bar things." Danni offered, approaching the mother and son happy to get away from Shane.  
"Really? You don't mind?"  
"No, please take them." She pulled the 5 bars out of her bag and handed them to the woman. "I'm in a band and when we're on the road we always have ton of these; practically live on them."  
"Thanks. I'm Lori and that's Carl."  
"I have some candy bars too." Danni said quietly to Lori. "But I thought you'd rather have him eat those."

Lori gave her a weak smile. "We'll keep that secret for now."  
Carl ran over to a jeep Cherokee, where a short-haired woman and her little girl sat on the open tailgate.  
"Here Sophia, you're probably hungry." Carl gave her one of the power bars.  
"You kind of saved the day there," Dale summed up then added "Come on over, meet Andrea and Amy." He walked her around to the shady side of the RV  
"Hi ladies" Danni greeted them figuring they were relations of Dale. Maybe his daughters? The two blondes were welcoming despite the obvious tension of the current situation. Danni joined them on one of lawn chairs Dale had set out next to the RV. Glenn had since positioned himself on the roof of the vehicle keeping a watch. There was small talk. The blondes were sisters, from Florida. Andrea was probably in her mid thrities and Amy early twenties. Danni was right in the middle at twent eight. They weren't related to Dale after all; he just had a very kind protective nature. He seemed to really care about them, not having known them very long.  
"You said you're in a band?" Glenn asked Danni  
"Yeah." she looked up in his direction."I sing and play bass."  
"Anybody I'd have heard of?"  
"Probably not." She smiled.  
"You look kind of punk rock. " He added.  
"We are a bit. It's an influence. We're heavy, but there's melody, catchy hooks..." She stopped herself, not wanting to monopolize the conversation. "We're from Austin coming to play some dates here in Georgia. Well, we **were** on our way..."  
"Texas? You don't sound like you're from Texas."  
" I'm not. Long story short I'm from Minneapolis and moved to Austin to play music with some friends in the local rock scene."  
"That's cool. I'm from Michigan. I'm more of a DJ club mix kind of guy."  
She nodded."I can see that."  
The small talk was getting a little harder. She bent down and rummaged in her bag for a minute, then pulled out the bottle of Jim Beam.  
"Anybody?" She held it up.  
"Hell yes." Andrea enthused. She and Amy had been quiet.  
"Don't mind if I do. Its been that kind of day." Dale sighed. The bottle of burning amber liquid made the rounds.  
As the conversation picked up again, it was easy to forget that they were strangers stranded on a highway with an unknown future. Still the bourbon gave Danni the 'everything's gonna be okay feeling' again.  
Do you think that Merle guy will come back?" Amy asked "He was like a total meth head or something. Straight out of an episode of "Cops". Creepy guy."  
"Don't worry about him. I've dealt with the likes of him and that brother of his my whole career." Shane answered rounding the corner of the RV.  
"Can I try your CB again Dale?"  
Dale nodded and Shane hoisted himself up the steps into the camper.  
"None of this seems real, I mean dead people...its like a bad horror movie. Voodoo shit out of control? " Danni wondered out loud.  
"No, it's a sickness. They bite or scratch you and a fever hits. The fever is fatal." She swallowed hard." When you die, you, well, somehow you come back. Your body does anyway."" Andrea clarified adding, "I feel so silly saying it. I wouldn't believe it myself if I hadn't seen it."

Amy added "When we saw it on the news, CNN for god's sake I thought it was a hoax."  
"No, its not a hoax. " Dale's voice broke with emotion. "I've experienced it first hand young lady." He glanced at the sisters who seemed to know what he was about to say. "My wife. They took my wife from me. There was nothing I could do. I had to leave or..." He couldn't finish and everyone looked away. Andrea reached and arm out and patted his arm.  
"Nothing, nothing but damn static." Shane muttered exiting the RV. He shook his head. "Keep trying it okay?"

"I really hope Merle doesn't come back." Amy repeated. "He's really scary, I don't care what Shane says. There's only one Shane, but Merle has that brother of his too. I mean they both seem sketchy. And I know Merle is on drugs, its obvious."

Andrea, put her hand on her sister's shoulder. "My innocent little chick. So sheltered." Andrea teased. "Amy thinks those two redneck hicks escaped from prison and are going to murder us in our sleep and steal our supplies. "

"Hey, don't laugh. I watch tv I read the news. They have a gun. Merle does. Oh and the other one Daryl has the biggest knife I've ever seen..."

_Merle and Daryl? _Danni thought, what kind of hick names were those? "Don't worry, losers like that usually can't get themselves organized enough to pull anything off except their next drug deal." She said. "Short on brains, long on being idiots."

"Don't get yourself in to a panic." Dale tried to comfort Amy.

The sun was starting to set. Danni stayed with the group not wanting to walk back to her van alone in the dark. She was glad she didn't when they heard the planes and saw The U.S. army dropping bombs on the city in the not too far distance. The government gave up. They just gave up. It was clear survival was in their own hands. Atlanta had no refugee center. The city was overrun with the dead.  
They watched as parts of the city burned. Red and yellow flames shot up into the night sky. The smell of sulphur reached them. Everyone was in shock, either looking at each other or not being able to face one another's terrified stares, gazing away at nothing.

Shane was the only one moving He started shouting orders. He knew these people needed to pull themselves together if they were going to survive. The voice inside of Danni's head drowned out Shane's. _ When you have been pushed in a new direction, know that every path leads somewhere, even if you do not know where it is. The tarot card..._


	2. Easy Come Easy Go

**Wow, you are here at chapter two! Thanks! Okay, I know you can't wait, so I'll let you know that is the last chapter with minimal Daryl. He shows up as the major character that he is in chapter 3. Bear with me here, its worth it!**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

_**There's a lot of people running 'round**_  
_**not quite sure which way to go**_  
_**As for me I believe I've found it**_  
_**It's just easy come, easy go.**_  
_**-Hayes Carll**_

A couple of days had passed since Shane directed them to a quarry, well off the road surrounded by woods. It was secluded and as far as they knew the Walkers or geeks, as they began calling the walking dead, were confined to the city or at least what was left of it. Everyone still seemed to look to Shane for some kind of direction and he was comfortable giving it.

The morning after the bombs dropped Danni had taken Glenn back with her to get her van. She left a note on one of the abandoned cars for her guys. She had a bad feeling that if Hayes and Luke were not back by now they'd never be. They drove up the breakdown lane until they reached The RV, Shane's jeep, the Cherokee and an old grey Chevy pickup carrying a 1970's chopper with high curved handlebars or ape hangers as her motorcyle owning friends called them. They had been joined by two more refugees. The Dixon brothers, the Merle and Daryl Amy had mentioned. They had been scavenging the abandoned cars for supplies during the night. Merle was already shouting about bartering for the stuff he'd found. "Merle **is** generous." He said of himself. " But **nothin's** free, that's for sure." He had a rough weathered southern drawl that matched his rough weathered face.

The younger brother Daryl was an angry, quiet type. She didn't think he'd said more than two words to anyone except his brother. They kept their distance. Danni felt Merle was acting typical, all bravado, really obnoxious, kind of stupid, dangerous sure, but so disorganized and high that he really couldn't do too much damage. Daryl on the other hand looked mean, calculating and like he hated the world enough to atually kill you in your sleep and steal your stuff. Amy was right, he was never without that giant buck knife hanging off his belt. He may be someone to steer clear of. Danni couldn't help but notice he was absolutley filthy, dirt on his clothing even some on his face like a litle boy with no mommy to tell him to wash up. He must have been her age at least if not a little older. He looked mean under his scowl, but like he was hiding something, protecting something.

Although the brothers seemed more like the loner survavalst type they followed the ragtag caravan to the quarry that morning.

There were challenges to living in such close quarters with a group of strangers. Danni may not have looked it on the outside, but she was shy, always had been. That's why she liked to bourbon was long gone and so was some of her bravery. She knew there were a couple of bottles of Tequila in the van somewhere. Probably in Luke's duffel. However, she jumped back on the wagon. Being clear-headed and alert now would serve her better. She had to watch her back and be careful while interacting with all these diverse personalities. It wasn't about making friends right now. Besides, there may come a day when she really needed those bottles-don't waste them now.

Danni preferred being with the kids. That felt effortless. She could always be herself around children, so she loved it when Lori and Carol asked her to mind Carl and Sophia.

She found herself offering to do a lot of the work; laundry, collecting firewood, whatever needed to be done. It kept relations fairly impersonal. Talking was easier if everyone had a common goal. Survival was unanimous among them. Under the circumstances, she was doing all right. She'd always been good under pressure and could come up with bravado when she needed to. She might have been on the shy side, but she did not take shit.

She had plenty of time to watch everyone. She'd always been observant of people. Back to those Dixons. She was compelled to figure them out but didn't know why she cared. They were off hunting a lot of the time which helped since the food supply would dwindle soon. Merle didn't like sharing, but Daryl silently left squirrel or pheasant for the rest of the camp without telling his brother. It did surprise Danni when he did that. Who were they? Country boys? Survivalist types? Definitely not liberals. Danni pegged them as the kind of guys who'd get drunk and heckle her band, make rude comments then start a huge bar brawl at the club. She ran into that type all the time. Merle had already made comments about all the sweet pussy around camp. He called Amy sugar tits. Danni** hated** that! But Amy would have to fight her own battles. Danni would have given the older Dixon hell if he'd singled her out like that. Even so, she knew to be careful around that type. Especially when they were high. As Merle seemed to be half the time. She and Glenn shared some Dukes of Hazzard jokes. She half expected to see Merle drive up in the red General Lee playing Dixie on its horn. Daryl was constantly sharpening hunting knoves or skinning animals. Still silent, still keeping to himself. And still dirty. He seemed dirtier than he had to be.

She and Glenn had an easy time getting along. He was funny and they shared pop culture references-like the Dukes of Hazzard show from the 1970's. He went on runs into the city to get supplies. Danni was the only one he took requests from. He compared the dangerous journey to a video game. He was playing Mission Impossible.  
It turned out that Shane was a friend of Lori's husband who had been killed. So he wasn't Carl's dad. He seemed so natural with the kid. He was really stepping up for them. He and Lori worked well together. They had a way of pulling people together. They spent most of their time organizing the camp and supplies. There was the other family, Sophia's. The mom Carol was a soft spoken, skittish woman. Her husband Ed was as gruff and unmannered as she was sweet and loving toward their daughter. Danni knew the tension of an unhappy family and signs of domestic abuse when she saw it. Dale was a grandfatherly type. He enjoyed looking after Andrea and Amy. He constantly tinkered with the RV's engine.  
Andrea was the classic big sister to Amy; protective and kind of bossy. Classic. Andrea made sure Amy kept a wide distance from the Dixons. Now, Amy was not a woman Danni would ever have met outside this situation. She was a blue eyed, blonde who smiled a lot and had long, tanned legs that looked good in shorts. Danni on the other hand was pale with black hair and never wore shorts. They made her feel like a camp counselor. definitely not sexy. She stuck to jeans and leggings no matter how hot it was. The entire assortment of travelers felt somewhat thrown together. They were a diverse group with nothing much in common except day to day living made easier by a combined effort.


	3. Don't Corner Something Meaner Than You

_** T**_**he people you've been before**  
_**That you don't want around anymore**_  
_**That push and shove and won't bend to your will**_  
_**I'll keep them still**_  
_**-Elliot Smith**_

The first time Daryl really noticed her was the third day after setting up the camp by the quarry. When she caught his eye back on the highway that initial night, he thought she looked like she was trying too hard to be a sexy shitkicker: real low tight black jeans, thick black leather belt with a silver skull and cross bones buckle that accentuated her hips and toned waist and brought his eyes to the tight white t shirt tied up exposing her tattooed hip bones and pierced navel. His brother kept calling her "little rock and roll queenie". All their lives Merle had nicknames for people. Usually derogatory. He didn't respect or care about people enough to know their given names. Even if you told him, he made a point of forgetting it. That first day they'd stood around looking at the shock on each other's faces after finding out Atlanta had fallen. Merle was sizing everybody up and referring to them as he saw them. He'd picked up on this girl's tattoos and skinny jeans. At least he was somewhat creative with hers. The Asian kid Glenn was "Chinaman", the RV guy was "On Golden Pond", those sisters were "blondie" and "sugar tits." Daryl just kept his mouth shut, almost feeling embarrassed but for who? Himself? His brother? The people he was insulting? He pushed it out of his head. Merle was his older brother, his only family. What Merle says goes.

Today she was watching the kids a few yards away from where he stood, leaning against a tree, sharpening hunting knives. He was minding his own business and keeping a distance, but was close enough to hear them talking.  
She sat cross-legged on the ground, the cop's boy on one side and the little girl who's parents had set up way off from the rest of the group on the other. The three were intently focused on something she had laid out on an opened bandana between them.  
"Sophia, this one would be real pretty." She said handing something small to the little girl.  
"Okay, so now wrap it tight with the wire like this, then when you put the twine through the loop and knot it it'll stay secure. "  
After a couple of minutes Sophia held up the necklace she had just crafted. "I did it, Danni, See?"  
The woman looked up. She shook the shiny black bangs out of her eyes with a toss of her head to see the girl better. "You're really good at this love bug. Now let me put it on you. Turn around munchkin."

"This seems kind of girly." Carl commented, his voice uncertain. "Can we do something else?"

It was only when he heard the boy say his name that he realized he had wandered closer into their vicinity.  
"Don't you think Daryl?"  
Carl, the kid was looking up at him.  
"Huh?"  
"I said don't you think making jewelry's for girls? Its stupid right?"  
He could see now that there was a small collection of smooth, colorful rocks and a roll of ordinary twine in Danni's red bandana. She must have gotten the stones from the edge of the quarry and polished them up.

"Nah," Daryl answered. "You don't gotta wear it yourself or nothin'. You can make something for your momma. Something nice."His voice was soft but husky, the drawl a little less pronounced that his brother's.  
Carl considered this for a moment. "Did you ever make anything for your mom, Daryl?"  
He looked past the boy. "Yeah, sure kid, all the time."  
His voice sounded far away-not sarcastic or gruff which surprised Danni. When he noticed her studying him he scowled. Her face was too pretty for the way she put herself together. Trying to be so tough.

"Don't got all day for talking, got work to do". He nodded down at the boy, then turned and stalked back up the incline.  
It was a short time later he saw the little girl's father approach Danni and Sophia. Carl had wandered off looking for more something manly to do, despite what Daryl had said.

"Sophia, why don't you come keep your daddy company now."

Before the child answered Danni quickly said "Ed its okay, Carol asked me to keep an eye on her."

"Was I talking to you? C'mon Sophia, come with your daddy now."  
The girl didn't move.  
"I said now." His tone was threatening.  
Danni stood up, blocking Ed from his daughter. When he took a menacing step forward, she held her ground.  
"I'm happy to watch her." Her voice was even but forceful.  
Daryl noticed she didn't back down despite the man having at least half a foot and 100 pounds on her. That girl stupid or what?_ Jesus_, he said to himself_, you don't corner somethin' that you know is meaner than you._  
It was when she turned her head quickly saying "Sophia, go find your mom now, okay. Run." That he realized she was protecting the kid. She wasn't stupid or looking for trouble; she knew the son of a bitch was gonna beat on his daughter or worse. He knew it was something you'd only sense if you'd been there yourself. Pretty or not, this girl was tough, he thought with begrudging respect.

Danni felt something cut though the air between them, forcing Ed back a step. Her eyes followed the man's surprised stare down to the ground. A buck knife had plunged into the earth between their feet, its large handle sticking straight up.  
"What the fuck..." Ed was caught off guard. He whipped his head around wildly.  
"Sorry, that hardly ever happens." Daryl drawled calmly as he sauntered down the hill toward them and bent to retrieve his knife. Seeing fear on the face of a guy like Ed made his day. He wiped dirt slowly from the blade with a rag from his back pocket, taking his time. Ed realized Daryl wasn't going anywhere before he was. He'd have to finish things with Danni later.  
"Damn people better start mindin' their own business." He muttered. Then heading away, he added, "I'm talking 'bout you hillbilly scum bag."  
Daryl called after him, "Watch your mouth sunshine. I might want to do a lot more knife throwin'. Good way to kill time." To Danni he said "I'm usually better at target practice."  
She nodded, not knowing what to say.  
He sheathed the knife and clipped it to his belt but before walking away added "Those shoes ain't gonna do shit for you out here." Referring to her canvas Converse sneakers. She watched him walk back up the hill.

Standing near her, Daryl had smelled wild honeysuckle, something he hadn't smelled since he was a kid. He associated that scent with the rare, few pleasant memories he had of childhood. He picked up his crossbow from under the tree and slung it over his shoulder. He glanced back and saw her looking at him. He wasn't sure if he liked that or not.


	4. Don't Judge Folks By Their Relatives

_**if angels are messengers from god,**_

_**i wrote a letter he should read**_

_**been living on faithless street all by myself**_

_**work your whole life for someone else**_

_**trying to find sanction, christ above man**_

_**he never shed his peace on this land**_

_**So I started this damn country band **_

_**'cause punk rock was too hard to sing.**_

_**-Whiskeytown**_

Danni lay on top of her sleeping bag, staring up at the rusted white ceiling of her van. The cool pre dawn air moved in through the open side doors over her body heightening the sticky feel of dirt and sweat from the last couple of days covering her like a film. She was a low maintenance girl, used to tight budget traveling. She'd slept on more floors than beds in the past 3 months of touring with the band. Regular showering was a luxury. Still, she was not what you'd call a nature girl. Never in a million years would she believe she'd be living out in the woods. She kept plenty of baby wipes on hand for quick daily cleaning up. At the moment, however, all she could think about was washing up in the lake at the quarry. It would be empty at this hour of the morning. She could clean up alone. Shane had made it clear that no one was to venture out of the designated camp area on their own. Everyone had to pair up. Danni understood the need for safety, but they had yet to meet a walker up here. She needed time alone. Besides, she'd be back before anyone even knew she'd gone. Grabbing a towel, bar of soap and a clean T-shirt she jumped down out of the van. The sun was just beginning its climb above the trees to the East. The air was still cool and not even the birds had started yet. She jogged down the hill through the trees to the quarry. It was quiet except for the occasional slap of water against the rocks. She pulled her shirt off and stepped out of her jeans. She laid them on a rock then waded into the water in just her panties. She missed taking long, hot baths. This was far from a bubble bath, but washing off the past few days worth of dirt and sweat would do just fine.

She walked further into the water up to her thighs, then started lathering the soap she'd brought.

Daryl moved silently through the brush. Dawn was his usual time start out hunting. His plan was to head down to the quarry and follow the water's edge around to the woods on the other side of the lake. It was farther away from the noise of camp. He'd have a better chance finding deer. All he'd been getting lately was squirrel.

Just before clearing the woods he saw Danni in the water below. Stopping short, he moved behind a tree. He didn't want her to see him and think he was sneaking up on her. He tried to look away but all she had on were black panties. The dark color accentuated her pale skin. Add to that raven hair falling midway down her back and she looked like porcelain. He felt wrong for spying. Damn girl keeps dogging me, he thought to himself. Since the dust-up with Ed the other day, he found himself thinking about her when his mind wandered from the task at hand. He kept seeing her standing there, ready to take on that son of a bitch. She was half that asshole's size.

From his place at the edge of woods. Daryl heard Merle before he saw him approach from the left side of the lake.

"Well, well, well. Ol' Merle sees something he likes."

Danni turned, caught off guard. she automatically crossed her arms in front of her chest.

What the hell was he doing out here this early? He must have been up all night on a bender and hadn't come down yet. "Damned tweaker," she muttered. A walker would have been a more welcome sight than Merle Dixon at this moment.

He grabbed up her clothing saying, "Hey little queenie, Let's play a little game of come and get it, whatcha' say?"

"You're kidding right?"

"No, I'm dead serious darlin'. Looks like I got something you might want and you definitely got something I want. How 'bout a trade?"

She began to weigh her options, adrenaline kicking in. She could run, but being barefoot would slow her down. If she tried to swim further out, he might follow. Before she could decide, she heard a low gruff voice.

"Leave it Merle."

Daryl had appeared at the edge of the trees, a few feet up the embankment where Merle had her cornered her in the water.

"Hey little brother, what ya doin' out here so early?"

"Leave her alone."

"Look, don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none."

Daryl stared hard at his brother. "C'mon, Merle let it go."

"Just who do you think you're talking to? You take orders from me, not the other way round."

Daryl approached him slowly, "I aint' sayin' it again."

"Why? What you care about little queenie here? If you're jealous, we can take turns. Hell, it might do you some good, act like a man for a change instead of such a pussy. Bet you don't even remember last time you got some. You even 'member how it works? "He laughed.

"I'll go first. Watch and learn little brother."

"You son of a bitch" Daryl raised his crossbow to Merle's head.

"You ain't gonna do that." Merle's tone was dismissive. He calmly turned and knocked the weapon out of Daryl's hands to the ground.

"Daryl, you don't got the guts. Pathetic." He sucker punched him under his ribcage. Daryl doubled over from the painful force of his brother's fist into his diaphragm. The expulsion of air from his lungs made him dizzy and he fell to the ground, the wind knocked out of him. He lay there trying to catch his breath.

"I thought so." Merle looked down at him. "Big hat, no cattle."

"That all you got, a damn bitch move?" Daryl shot back, still heaving, short of breath.

"Who you callin' a bitch?' Merle kicked Daryl behind his knees.

"Well, that there just ruined the mood." Merle bent down and picked up Danni's jeans and t-shirt. He tossed the clothing down to her. "Until next time, sugar."

She bristled.

He turned to Daryl, still on the ground.

"You best watch yourself brother." His tone was menacing. "You startin' to think the sun come up just to hear you crow." He stalked off into the woods toward camp.

Danni dressed quickly and without thinking, walked over to Daryl, who was getting back on his feet. He was brushing the dirt from his pants.

"Hey, are you okay?"

The realization that she saw him take that beating from Merle made his face hot with shame. He mistook her concern for pity.

"Fine!" he snapped angrily. He gave her a quick sidelong glance and shook his head. "That's just Merle bein Merle."

He grabbed his crossbow from the ground and slung it over his shoulder. Before he stalking off he gruffly warned, "You best be more careful. I'm gettin' tired of saving your damn ass every god damn day."

Again she watched him go, not knowing what to say, letting him have the last word. He had a point. It had been twice now that he'd shown up in time to help her out of a bind. Just a weird coincidence.


	5. Girl Better Get Your Gun

**_Just don't tell me which way I oughta run_**

**_Or what good I could do anyone_**

**_'Cause my heart, it was a gun_**

**_But it's unloaded now so don't bother_**

**_-Uncle Tupelo_**

"Carrying a gun is a serious thing, girl." Shane squinted down at Danni. She noticed his eyes on her navel again.

"Uh hello, up here," She put hr hand in front of his face and drew his eyes up to her own. She'd had it with Shane and continually let him know it.

He just chuckled.

"I'm certified."

He raised an eyebrow.

" I _have _been living in Texas for the last couple of years."

He didn't seem satisfied with her reasoning.

"I did it for a guy, okay." she sighed. "He was really into guns and shooting. I was trying to impress him, so I took a gun safety course and went to the range with him a few times."

"Did it work?" Glenn asked

"He didn't ask me out, no. He ended up dating my roommate. He was kind of jerk." she laughed.

"The things you do for love, huh? I've been there a few times myself." Shane commiserated.

He stood up and held out the glock 22 he had just cleaned and loaded. "All right so give me the four rules."

"All guns are always loaded, never let the muzzle cover anything you are not willing to destroy, keep your finger off the trigger until your sites are on the target, be sure of your target and what is beyond it." She recited the guidelines in a sing-song voice.

He nodded and put the gun in her hand. She examined it, liking the weight in her grip.

"This is a 22, so it has what, 15 rounds?" She asked.

"Yeah, that's the basic one I'd carry on duty. I got a Glock 17 chambered for the 9 mm cartridge and has a 17 round magazine. Managed to get hold of a couple shotguns too as I was heading out-of-town." He pointed to a Remington 870 and a Mossberg 500 laying in the back of his jeep.

"I've only used a shotgun a couple of times. I'm more comfortable with this."

"Let's see what you got." Shane nodded and the three walked away from camp. At the outskirts of the woods Shane set some empty bottles on a boulder about 15 yards from where she stood.

"Its been a while you guys." She positioned herself and held the gun straight out in front her the way she remembered from the range. She for the first bottle and pulled the trigger. She prepared herself for the kickback and held steady as she pulled the trigger. The shot was followed by the noise of shattering glass.

_Yes._

"You still got it." Glenn observed.

She took a second shot and hit another bottle. "Muscle memory I guess."

Shane walked over to her. He seemed satisfied with her ability. "Well that's enough. We don't want to attract any geeks with gunshots." He warned.

"So, can I borrow it?

Shane tilted his head in a thoughtful manner. "Thing is, I only got a limited supply of ammo. We can't be playing around. We need to be ready for when the geeks start making their way out here. I don't have enough guns to let you carry, but if anything goes down this one's got your name on it, okay? Just come to me."

She was disappointed. Since the encounter with Merle that morning she was afraid of more than Walkers.

Shane was uptight and controlling; arguing with him would be pointless. Still his logic confounded her. If, indeed, "something went down" she could be dead before getting the gun from him.

"Okay, thanks." Danni conceded. He just doesn't want a woman to have a gun.

As she and Glenn headed back he joked "You're full of surprises. I've got my enforcer now."

"If he'd let me have the damn gun." She added. "You know, I can teach you how to shoot, Glenn"

"Maybe. I'm awesome at Call of Duty."


	6. Portions For Foxes

_**And the talking leads to touching**_

_**And the touching leads to sex**_

_**and then there is no mystery left.**_

_**You're bad news, baby you're bad news**_

_**I don't care i like you**_

_**And you're bad news**_

_**I don't care i like you**_

_**I like you**_

_**-Rilo Kiley**_

_Danni opened her eyes just as the first light of dawn broke through the dusty windows. She couldn't remember where she was. The cement floor was hard under her sleeping bag. Paint was peeling on the high ceiling above her. Gray, colorless place. She thought she was alone until she heard his voice._

_"You up?" Daryl asked._

_"Yeah, did watch go okay?" She rolled over to face him. He was sitting next to her head, back against the cinderblock wall. He must have observed her sleep for a while and noticed when her eyes opened._

_He nodded. "Nothing I couldn't handle."_

_"I came up here, hope you don't mind?" She asked._

_"Nah. Its good. Its good you're here."_

_After that, they were quiet. His silence didn't bother her._

_She sat up, her back to him._

_He touched her hair saying, "Gettin' long"_

_It wasn't like him to comment on her appearance. He kept stroking the black strands near her face brushing her cheek with his calloused fingertips. Her skin was soft and pale. He was gentle._

_"Yours too."_

_He grunted a little. "Yeah, guess I got other things on my mind."_

_"Like staying alive?" she deadpanned._

_His hair had darkened some as it had gotten longer. It fell over his forehead and ears in wisps he constantly pushed back. His cheeks had hollowed out some as had her own and the deep circles under his eyes were more prominent. Still, she found him more attractive than ever. She sensed his hesitation and felt her own, but she wanted him again._

_"Would you kiss me?"she asked without looking at him, hoping it would give him the permission he seemed to need. She turned and moved on him straddling his thighs._

_"You don't gotta ask." His voice was low._

_"I think I do," she smiled a little._

_As her hand moved to push his too long bangs off of his eyes, she tilted her head to encourage him. Her fingers came to rest lightly at the base of his neck, and she drew his face closer to her own. He reached around behind her, slipping his hand under shirt The feeling of his palm pressed firmly against the skin of her back caused her to gasp softly, opening her mouth to start the contact. She softly bit his lower lip. " I go where you go." she whispered. His face was rough and his mouth hungry for hers._

_"Hey..." she objected softly as he suddenly stopped kissing her._

_"Open your eyes" he demanded gently._

"Open your eyes."

She awoke with a start and for a minute she couldn't catch her breath. Glenn was looking into the van where she was sleeping.

"Are you all right?" He looked concerned. "You weren't at breakfast this morning, I just came to make sure everything was okay."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I can't believe I slept so late."

"You look really freaked out." Glenn observed.

"A dream, I was having this weird dream just now..."

"A nightmare? We've all been having those lately I guess."

"Nightmare, yeah..." her voice trailed off. "I'll be out in bit."

He nodded and left her.

Danni felt her underwear soaked at the crotch. A quick pang of embarrassment shot through her. Not because of the dream itself, but because she was actually disappointed she woke up.

"Okay, girl, you have been out in the woods_ too_ long." She comforted herself with the rationalization.


	7. Some Other Time

_**someone always interupts us when we talk**_

**_so i'm gonna draw this evening's line_**

**_before my wash hangs on it for everyone to see_**

**_it's very bad luck to draw the line on the night before the world ends_**

**_we can draw the line some other time_**

**_-X_**

As she walked over to the center of the camp, Danni was still tired. She stifled a yawn saying good morning to Dale. She was trying to erase the dream from her thoughts. She was afraid if she ran into Daryl, he'd know. He'd somehow be able to see inside her mind and watch the dream. Ridiculous, she knew, but it had seemed so real. She saw Glenn walking toward her. She looked around. No sign of Daryl.

"I'm going on a run. Do you need anything?" Glenn asked her as he always did before going to scavenge supplies in Atlanta.

"Just that case of Maybelline Great Lash mascara you forgot last time."

He laughed, but seemed distracted.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked concerned.

"I have to bring people with me." He complained.

"People?"

"Andrea, that new guy T-Dog and Merle."

"Why?"

"The group voted. Before you woke up this morning. They think more than one person should know the route in and out."

"Makes sense." Danni tilted her head, thinking about it.

"I do **_better_** on my own. Extra people are going to make it way more dangerous." He looked up from under the brim of his ball cap. "You want to come? I actually trust you."

"Not with that cast member of _Deliverance_ over there. Sorry." She motioned to Merle.

Glenn nodded. "At least it's just him and not both of them. Daryl left on a hunt early this morning." He kicked at the dirt under his feet.

She was both relieved and disappointed that she wouldn't see Daryl. Usually his hunts lasted the entire day.

"So do you want anything?"

"Just you back here alive, pal.

"Makes two of us."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo

The early afternoon sun was high above the three women as they washed clothing in the lake.

"I can't believe I'm using a washboard." Carol mused. "I miss my Maytag back home that's for sure."

"I even miss the Laundromat right now." Danni added."I **_hate_** the Laundromat."

"Hey Danni could I use some of your makeup one of these days?" Amy asked. "I'm tired of looking like such a hag all the time now."

"You're welcome to what I have. I don't think I've got more than some lipstick and maybe eyeshadow."

"Seriously? You aren't wearing mascara? Foundation?" Amy was incredulous.

"No, I wish. I'm a total makeup junkie. To be honest, I'm kind of dying without eyeliner."

"Your eyelashes **_do not_** just look like that? Your skin..."

"The only thing I got from my mother was good genes. Good skin." She laughed. "At least that's something."

"Sounds like you didn't get along?" Carol ventured.

"No. She wasn't a mom, like you are. She's my mother, but she really shouldn't have had kids. She was too busy living her own life to help me out much with mine." Danni looked directly at Carol and added "Sophia's really lucky to have you."

Carol averted her eyes, not used to compliments.

"What about your dad?" Amy asked.

"He left when I was two."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't pry." Amy apologized.

"Its okay. There were stepdads. Three, the only one worth remembering is the one she drove away. He taught me to play guitar; got me into music. I waited fro my real dad to come back though. I pretended that he was just like Atticus Finch in _To Kill a Mockingbir_d. My ideal of the perfect father. I guess I was actually waiting for Gregory Peck to come call me Scout and take me away from everything. "

Ed interrupted the conversation, walking over to the riverbank shouting Carol's name.

"Let's go."

"We're not done yet Ed." Danni answered.

"Its okay," Carol acquiesced, standing up.

"No its not. You don't have to go Carol." Danni told her.

Ed took a few steps closer." I don't need no smart mouthed city bitch telling my wife what to do. That's my job. You keep interfering with my family girl, you're gonna be sorry."

"Why, are you gonna hit me, like you hit your wife? We see the bruises."

No one saw it coming. Shane was suddenly there tackling Ed. He held the larger man down in the dirt beating his face bloody with only his fists and his rage. The beat down was vicious and ugly, even for a man like Ed. Carol ran to them screaming, desperately trying to pull Shane off of her husband. Shane finally stepped back hissing "If I ever hear 'bout you laying a hand on a woman again, I'll kill you. Don't think I won't. "

He stalked away angrily not looking at anyone. Carol helped Ed to his feet and back to their camper.

"Should we be afraid of that guy?" Amy asked.

"Ed?" Danni suggested.

"No, Shane." Amy clarified.

"Honey, Be careful of everyone."


	8. Come Back Breathing

_**"We are more than the worst thing that's ever**_  
_**happened to us. All of us need to stop apologizing**_  
_**for having been to hell and come back breathing."**_  
_**- Clementine von Radics**_

It was getting late and the expedition had not returned. Glenn, on his own, usually took no more than a few hours. Almost the entire day had passed. Just as she started to worry, Danni heard vehicles approaching. She didn't recognize either one. Glenn sped up the dirt road in a red sports car. A white delivery truck followed close behind.

"Glad you made it back," she said, then looking at the car added "Nice ride."

"Almost didn't. Walkers trapped us, we had no way out."

"How...?"

"New guy. Saved our asses." Glenn answered.

"New guy?" Shane asked over hearing

"Yeah. He's a cop, like you. Hey Rick, come on meet everybody!"

A tall lanky man wearing a sherif's uniform slowly emerged from the driver's side of the truck. What happened next happened so fast Danni could hardly comprehend it. Carl ran past her yelling "Dad!" and was in the sheriff's arms within seconds.

Lori, her face blank from shock walked over and joined her husband and son in their desperate, tearful embrace.

Looking past the newly reunited family, she had to check twice before she was sure. Andrea, T-Dog, Glenn. No Merle.

"Should I ask about Merle?" She handed Glenn some water.

He took a drink. "Its bad. I don't even like Merle. Man, its bad."

"We left him." Rick was suddenly behind them. So were Dale, Andrea, Lori and T-Dog.

Rick spoke with a heavy southern drawl. He related the story of Merle's attack on the group and attempted murder of T-Dog which culminated in his being handcuffed to a pipe on the roof of a building.

"He was dangerous. I had no choice." Rick said with conviction.

"Yeah, but I had the key." T-Dog stepped forward. "I dropped it down a drain." Guilt defined his posture. His expression pained. "But I chained the door to the roof. The geeks can't get to him."

"Don't worry." Shane surmised."No one's gonna miss Merle. Truth is, he's been trouble around here from day one." He said, more to T-Dog than anyone else.

"Nobody except Daryl." Glenn added.

"Who's Daryl?" Rick wanted to know.

"His brother." Danni informed him. "I don't want to be around when he gets back and finds out."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

Night had fallen and the hour was late. Glenn and Danni were the last to stay by the campfire. The odds that Rick could reunite with Carl and Lori fascinated Danni. If Glenn hadn't seen him out there it never would have happened.

"Why did you bother helping Rick today?" Danni asked him. "That was really risky."

He shrugged. "I have this crazy hope that if I'm ever in a situation like he was, some dumb bastard will do the same for me."

"That's karma Glenn. You have a lot. I can tell." She smiled.

"Rick must have some too, don't you think?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooo

The next morning, Danni awoke to angry shouting. As she got up and headed closer to the RV she had a feeling Daryl had returned. There was a standoff between Daryl and Rick.

"Is he dead?" Daryl stalked back and forth between Rick and Shane.

"I don't think so." Rick answered.

"Either he**_ is_** or he**_ aint._** Nothin' to think **_about_**." His voice was unsteady although he tried to hide it. Daryl couldn't stand still. He was walking faster in smaller circles, dust flying up around his feet.

"Look, your brother was a danger to us all. I made a call. In case you haven't noticed he doesn't play well with others. I had to handcuff him on a roof." Rick had the steady calm tone of a police officer.

"Aint you got a key?" Daryl asked as if Rick was an idiot.

"Its my fault." T-Dog spoke up. "I had the key. I dropped it."

"And you couldn't pick it up?" Daryl sounded incredulous looking at him.

"Down a drain."

At that, Daryl drew his knife and lunged at T-Dog. Shane quickly put him in a police choke hold.

"Lemme go!" Daryl growled.

"I think its best if I don't." Shane said in the calm tone of a cop, on duty, echoing Ricks steady vocal inflection. Both lawmen were in stark contrast to Daryl's wild, emotional behavior. Daryl was enraged and violently acting out on instinct.

"This is brutality, choke hold's illegal!" Daryl coughed out the words as Shane's arm tightened around his windpipe.

"File a complaint." Shane answered sarcastically.

"Look I was hoping to have a calm discussion about this." Rick's voice was steady.

"Okay, okay." Daryl surrendered.

"Let him up." Rick told Shane.

Daryl got to his feet, face red, eyes still flashing with rage. "Where's he at?"

"Why?" Rick asked.

"So's I can go **_get_** him." Daryl's voice broke with emotion and he quickly swiped his arm across his eyes making sure no tears would escape and give him away.

Danni thought she noticed him blinking furiously, a sign he was trying not to cry. She was almost shocked at the display of emotion.

"He'll show you." Lori said hoarsely, looking at Rick. " Won't you." She was playing with fire, knowing her husband would go but wanting him to refuse.

"Yes, I will." Rick's answer was no surprise. It was a painful certainty.

Lori turned and walked into the RV, slamming the door behind her. Everyone looked down.

"Well, all right then." Daryl's satisfied voice broke the silence. Suddenly he seemed fine.


	9. Its a Shame

_**You were the girl I never knew I wanted**_

_**I was the boy you wished you'd never seen**_

_**-Hayes Carll**_

"**Come on**, you're kidding, right?" Glenn looked at Rick in disbelief. "You want me to go back there for Merle Dixon? He tried to kill us."

"Look. I know I'm askin' a lot. But, I'd sure feel better with you along. I know she would too." He gestured over to Lori standing in the door of the RV.

Glenn gave in. "All right, but only if Danni comes too."

They all turned and looked at Danni, leaning against the front tire of the RV chewing on a hangnail. She looked up when she heard her name to find everyone looking at her.

"Why her?" Rick asked.

"Because she knows how to use a gun."

"We won't be shooting Glenn, you know we're trying not to call attention. Get in and get out."

"I'm even better with a tire iron, crowbar, whatever." Danni offered. Glenn wanted her there. She was his enforcer as their joke went.

"If we're going back for those guns and need to use them I want her there."

"You trust her?" Rick asked.

"Yeah, I do." Glenn answered.

"All right then."

"Great, a damn chick? My day keeps gettin better an' better." Daryl complained angrily. _Her again? Shit,_ he thought.

"Look, were risking a lot for you and your brother." Rick shot back.

"Whatever. Let's** go. **We're wastin' time!" Daryl complained impatiently.

"You are risking a hell of a lot, Rick. This is where we need you, here, protecting your family, the camp. Instead you're risking three lives for what? A douche bag like Merle Dixon?" Shane argued.

"Hey that's my brother you're talking about. Better choose your words more carefully." Daryl warned.

"Oh I did. douche bag's what I meant. Shane answered.

Daryl thought about taking a swing at him, but didn't want to waste any more time. "Let's get goin' people. We aint got all day. Merle could be dyin' up there on that roof."" Daryl yelled heading for the truck they'd be taking into to town.

"He's right. Let's get a move on." Rick looked to Lori as he spoke. She turned away. After hugging Carl and promising to return, Rick headed over to the truck with Glenn and Danni. Daryl was already inside laying on the horn.

"Hey Danni," Shane called after her. "Wait up."

She turned and walked back.

"Here." He handed her the Glock 22 she had used for target practice and a holster for her waist. "I told you, it has your name on it."

"Thanks Shane, I..."

"Watch yourself out there okay?"

Rick drove and Glenn rode shotgun. Danni and Daryl sat across from each other in the back of the box truck. As they headed for Atlanta, Glenn detailed the route he took through the city and his tactics for avoiding walkers.

Daryl focused on wiping down his crossbow, then used the same rag to wipe the sweat off his upper lip. He looked over at Danni. He couldn't believe it. Her again. Dogging him. Not only was she a girl, she was a girl who needed saving. He knew first hand. She was gonna slow them down or get them killed. This was dangerous. A thousand things could go wrong. He didn't want her here, but he couldn't stop looking at her.

Danni saw Daryl glaring at her out of the corner of her eye. She pretended to focus on Glenn and Rick's conversation. She was used to men underestimating her, not wanting her involved in their business. The look Daryl was giving her now was as familiar to her as the feel of her bass guitar against her hip bone when she played. The music business was no different from this business. It was full of guys with Daryl's attitude. She smiled thinking about it. She'd show him. She always showed them.

"The hell you smiling at girl? You think this is a joke?" He growled.

She shook her head.

"It aint no joke. My brother could be dyin' up there on that roof and you're sitting over their laughing. Dumb bitch." He refused to think that Merle was already dead.

"I'm not laughing and don't call me a bitch. **_Bitch_**_." _

She redirected the insult at him.

"I aint nobody's bitch!"

"Look you two lay off! Fighting each other is not gonna help us!" Rick shouted back at them angrily.

Daryl spit to the side. Danni rolled her eyes. She wouldn't look at him, but he gave her a long once over.

He noticed that she cut all the collars of her t-shirts to make them larger, and emphasize her long neck and delicate collar bones. The one she had on was yellow. It looked like a kid's little league shirt. It said Tigers across the front and St. Mary's #6 on the back in black lettering. It just fit. The hem hit a bit above the waist of those black jeans riding low on her hips. Her jet black hair was pulled back in a loose, messy ponytail. Her bangs fell just above her hazel eyes making them look enormous, framed by naturally full, dark lashes. Her small nose, slightly upturned, had a tiny diamond stud on its left side. He did like her smile. He'd seen it when she was with the kids. You could say she was pretty in a way, but when she smiled she was beautiful. He'd never admit he thought so. Her teeth weren't perfect, there was a small chip on the bottom of her right front tooth. Still, that smile changed her whole face. She wasn't smiling now. He noticed she was still wearing those useless sneakers. He didn't know why it bothered him so much.

Danni hadn't thought much of Daryl when she'd first seen him around camp. He had the traits of a right-wing, backwoods survivalist type. Ruby Ridge and all that. Being related to Merle convinced her. Nothing in common. However, their two past interactions changed her mind a little. He seemed more socially awkward than outright rude. He had helped her; stood up for her. He had almost seemed kind. What was up with his attitude now? She realized she was a worse judge of character than she'd thought. He was a total dick today.

He wore dark cargo pants and tan Red Wing work boots. He was filthy as usual. He had cut the sleeves off of his sweat stained thermal shirt. Granted, everybody was a little worse for the wear out here, but Daryl didn't even seem to try. His ever-present crossbow was on his lap. His hair was dirty blonde and actually dirty, sticking up in different places. His tanned face had more of a scruff than a beard on his cheeks and chin. He was looking down at his bow now, but she'd never forget his deep, piercing blue eyes when he'd stared hard at her the day he'd thrown his knife at Ed. His eyes were beautiful. And his arms. Okay, she had to give him that. She'd never seen such toned biceps. Carrying and shooting that crossbow gave him lean muscled arms. She'd never admit she noticed it though. He was such a jerk.

She didn't realize she'd been looking at him or that the truck had even stopped until Glenn said, "We walk from here."


	10. Hold Me Up

****Thanks to everyone who is following. Its making me write so much faster knowing you guys are liking it!****

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo**

_**They shot the tiger on his chain**_

_**In a field behind the cages**_

_**He walked in circles 'til he was crazy**_

_**And he lived that way forever**_

_**And he lived that way beside them,**_

_**Separate from the other tigers**_

_**He did not know another tiger**_

_**They shot that tiger on his chain**_

_**-Neko Case**_

Glenn led them single file through the back access roads into the city. It was hot and the air was still and sticky with humidity. They were instantly accosted by a small group of isolated Walkers. This assembly was much easier to handle than the herds moving through the larger downtown areas. The first one wore a tattered national guard uniform. As the corpse shuffled toward them, Daryl plunged his buck knife between its eyes with a sickening, wet slurping sound. Before he turned around another was on him. He took it out with an arrow to its forehead. As he bent to retrieve the bolt he motioned to a third stumbling carcass of a woman. "Hell people, a little help here?"

Glenn and Rick were several feet ahead by that time. Without hesitation, Danni swung her tire iron smashing in the side of its skull releasing a rotting stench that sent her reeling back.

"Didn't want to cramp your style." She explained to Daryl.

"Pain in my ass, all y'all." he muttered.

They reached the alley that Glenn had secured with chain link gate. The back passage ran behind the building where they left Merle. Someone had pulled the fire escape's ladder up too high to reach.

"Now what?" Glenn said with exasperation. "There is no other way in."

"One of us can go around front with cover." Rick suggested. " Go in and lower he ladder down to the rest of us.

"Nah. Too risky." Daryl squinted up at the ladder, assessing the height. He then looked at Danni.  
"Come here." He ordered.

"Why?"She asked suspiciously.

"I'll hoist you to grab the ladder and pull it down. You're what five four, five five?"

She nodded.

"You'll have just enough reach. Get over here."

"You could say please." She suggested sarcastically

"Whatever." He grunted back.

He turned her so her back was to him. Bending at his knees he put his arms around her lower thighs and stood up slowly; she leaned back a bit almost sitting on his left shoulder.

"Put your foot in my hand." He ordered. She stood, getting extra reach while he lifted her with one hand and firmly supported her lower back with the other. She was balancing well.

"Okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, don't drop me."

"That's the plan, girl." He grunted, shifting under her weight.

Her t shirt had hitched up so he was touching her skin. It was smooth, warm and slightly slick with sweat.

His hand on the small of her back made Danni's knees weak She didn't want to admit that she liked the feel of his arms around her; his touch on her bare back. It had been a long time since a guy had his hands anywhere on her body. Of all people, why was Daryl's touch turning her on. She remembered her dream. She strted to feel a twinge between her legs. She tried to focus on something, anything else other than his hands on her.

He was surprised that she was heavier than she looked. Her legs were well muscled. He liked that her thighs were so toned. He pushed her up a little more, setting his hand under her firm butt. That's when he felt himself grow slightly hard. His cheeks flushed hot with embarrassment and he hoped no one noticed. The feeling caught him off guard; he'd never touched a woman this much._ I'm not feeling her up or nothin'. _He forced his focus back to finding Merle.

She reached up as far as she could. Her fingers just clasped the lowest rung.

"Got it."

Daryl grasped her hips, lowering her to the ground She hauled the rusty the ladder down with her. Daryl removed his hands from her as if she'd burned him. He turned around quickly like he couldn't get away from her fast enough.

Danni felt absurd for letting Daryl arouse her. Her thoughts raced a mile a minute.

_He must think I'm disgusting. I'm sweaty and I weigh a ton._

Then she caught herself_. Wait a minute take a look at him. He's filthy, smells to high heaven and grunts more than talks._ Why did she care what he thought of her?_ He's not even that good-looking._

"Guys, who could have done that? Pulled it up? We were the last ones here, weren't we?" Glenn asked.

No one really wanted to know the answer.

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Rick used bolt cutters to break the padlock and the chain fell off in two sections. Daryl immediately kicked the door open, shouting "Merle!"

He ran ahead of the small group, looking around wildly. His brother was not on this roof. His distress was palpable. "You said he was here!" When there was no doubt that Merle was gone, he roared "No!" He stalked back and forth like a caged, wounded animal. He was shouting and holding back tears. He couldn't give in to his pain; all he knew how to do was express rage.

Danni saw him look down and he again howled "No!"

Rick approached, knowing it was the area where he had handcuffed Merle. He realized there was only one way out of those cuffs without a key. A grisly way.

Daryl was tensing every muscle in his body. He couldn't contain himself. He moved fast, suddenly holding his crossbow to Glenn's head. He swung it to Danni's. and held it there. He wasn't thinking straight; he wanted a scapegoat and T Dog wasn't here.

Danni searched his eyes as he aimed the crossbow at her head. She saw anguish and fear. There was no malice. She saw the devastation he felt at losing his brother. His only family. Tears escaped his eyes despite his best efforts to contain them. Danni felt like she shouldn't be seeing this; it was too intimate. His eyes were asking for something. Asking her for something but she didn't know what. She didn't think of going for her gun. She wasn't afraid.

Rick went for his. Within seconds his cop's reflexes kicked in and Rick raised his weapon to Daryl's head,  
"I won't hestitate, I don't care if every walker in the city hears it."

Daryl, huffed and reluctantly lowered his weapon. He was breathing heavily, clenching his fists and furiously blinking back tears. No one knew what to say. He suddenly bent down and picked up Merle's severed hand.

Danni untied the blue bandana she wore around her hair. She held it out to Daryl. "Here, use this."

He snatched it from her and wrapped the lifeless appendage carefully. His breathing slowed as he calmed down.

"The saw blade must have been too dull for the cuffs. Aint that a bitch." Daryl observed. He walked behind Glenn and unzipped his backpack, putting the hand inside. Glenn grimaced.

"Not much blood." Daryl went on, his voice becoming steadier with every word. "He must have used his belt for a tourniquet". He knelt on the ground examining the blood trail his brother had left.  
"He went this way." He surmised more to himself than the others. He stood and began walking slowly forward, eyes on the ground in front of him.

Rick shrugged and motioned for Glenn and Danni to follow. Daryl led them to an open door.

His body language and energy had changed. Just moments before he had raged, now, he was intently focused on his brother's movements. He needed to do something useful to diffuse his emotion. Action distracted him from feeling. He buried the fear of trying to survive without Merle. He focused on his tracking skills. The skill Merle had taught him.


	11. Dangerous Blood

_**The most tender place in my heart is for strangers  
**_

_**I know it's unkind,**_

_**but my own blood is much too dangerous**_

_**-Neko Case**_

Once back inside the large industrial building that housed offices, a retail store and restaurant, Daryl continued to shout his brother's name.

The blood trail was still marked, leading down a set of stairs into a hallway with elevators. Merle had left two dead Walkers in his wake.

"Had enough in him to take out these 2 sons of bitches." Daryl motioned to the the rotting corpses on the floor with their heads bashed in. "And he did it one-handed."

He crouched, admiring his brother's handiwork.

"Toughest son of a bitch I ever met, my brother. Feed him a hammer and he'd crap out nails." He said it with reverence.

"Anybody can die from blood loss." Rick cautioned.

"Ah, oh shit, ouch!" Danni startled the three men. "Fucking nail almost went through my sneaker." It had penetrated the sole, didn't pierce the her foot, but was still sharp enough to hurt.

Daryl looked at her and let air hiss from between his teeth. He nodded down at her feet and just huffed showing his disdain without words.

_Asshole._

They started off again, behind Daryl, down a corridor strewn with paper and trash.

"Merle! You in here?" Daryl called out turning the corner.

"We are not alone here." Rick hissed, "Remember that."

"Screw that he could be bleeding out. You said so yourself." Daryl answered, focused his brother's movements.

Danni noticed Daryl was becoming more of a smart ass toward Rick the closer they got to possibly finding Merle. She knew he was a loose cannon, but this recklessness was needlessly endangering them.

He led them into what looked like the kitchen area of a small restaurant

She smelled the distinct odor of charred flesh.

"He didn't..." She murmured.  
They approached a stove with an open gas flame and a metal grille scraper. Glenn looked closer at the kitchen tool. "What's that?"

"Skin. He cauterised the stump." Rick explained.

"Told you he was tough. Nobody can kill Merle but Merle." Daryl's voice had a tone of admiration.

Danni heard it loud and clear and began to worry about what would happen if they did find Merle. She didn't trust the older Dixon in the least and his influence over Daryl was strong. Could, she Rick and Glenn win in a battle with the Dixons over the coveted bag of guns and the supplies back at camp? She didn't doubt Merle would kill them to get what he needed. The way Daryl was behaving now she could see him following Merle.

"Don't take that on faith; he's lost a lot of blood." She countered.

"Yeah, well it didn't stop him for bustin" out of the this death trap." Daryl walked toward a broken window. He looked down at the climb Merle must have made.

"He left the building? Why would he do that?" Glenn couldn't wrap his mind around it.

"Why wouldn't he? He's alone far as he knows. Doin' what he's gotta do to survive." Daryl again sounded impressed and in awe of his older brother.

He huskily added, "Couple dead bastards aint gonna stop him."

"How about a thousand dead bastards? " Rick gave him a reality check to break through some of this hero-worship.

Daryl headed toward the window as if he were going to climb out.

"Where the hell are you going?" Danni asked.

"To find him. I know he's out there."

"Alone? Are you crazy?" Glenn asked nervously.

"Maybe." Daryl kept going.

_Let him go_, Danni found herself thinking. _Maybe he belonged with his brother._ She didn't want to find Merle in the long run. Daryl's emotions earlier on the roof had touched her; just for a second she saw sadness and vulnerability overtake his anger. There was more to him than a hardened antagonist. She recognized that he was afraid. His painful display almost made her forget what Merle was really like; what vengeance he'd take on the group if the brothers reunited. The tone of Daryl's voice now troubled her.

"Good luck. " She couldn't help herself.

"Daryl, wait!" Rick ordered grabbing his arm and pulling him back inside.

"Get off me, you can't stop me!"

The two men struggled until Rick finally had Daryl pinned against the wall.

"He's your brother, he's family. I get that. I went through hell to find mine. But Glenn's right. Going out alone is suicide. Don't be stupid."

Daryl glared at Rick.

"Look, we can help you search few blocks**. if **you keep a level head."

Daryl jerked his chin up. "I can do that."

"All right." Rick looked around. Glenn nodded

"I'd feel better if we got those guns first." Danni stated, worried about having to go up against Merle.

"How we gonna do that?" Daryl asked

"Guys, I have an idea."

Glenn grabbed and assortment of office supplies, erasers, a couple of binder clips and sharpie marker.

Hunched over on the floor he drew a diagram of the alleyways and main streets around their building in relation to the area where the bag of guns was still laying untouched.

He mapped out a route for himself and explained he'd maneuver faster alone.

"Daryl you'll wait in the alley and cover me."

"I don't like you much and even I think it's a bad idea." Daryl shook his head.

"Give him a chance, he's doing for your brother." Danni shot back. He glared at her.

"Look if we all go we'll draw more attention to ourselves."

"Why Daryl?" Rick asked.

"His crossbow is quieter than your guns."

Daryl nodded at that.

"Danni, Rick you'll go over to this alley on the other side of the street from the bag."

"Why there?" Rick wanted to know.

"I might get cut off. If I can't go back to Daryl, I'll have to go forward, to you guys. Either way I'm covered."

"Hey kid," Daryl asked. "What'd you do before all this?"

""Delivered pizzas, why?"

Danni smiled. Cabbies and delivery drivers knew every back street and short cut in the city. They were constantly mapping out everything in their heads.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o

Danni and Rick waited at their post in the passageway around the corner from Daryl and Glenn.

"I don't like being split up like this." Rick admitted.

"Glenn knows what he's doing."

"It isn't Glenn I'm worried about."

It was a premonition. Suddenly, they she heard loud voices echoing off of the buildings. Danni couldn't understand all the words and she realized the language was Spanish.

"Something's wrong." Rick stated.

"You think?" She took off running, with him right behind her.

They reached the alley where the shouts had come from. All hell had broken loose. The scene before her was chaotic; time was racing so that it seemed everything was happening at once. Daryl was kicking a teenage boy on the ground. The bag of guns and Glenn's backpack were lying at the foot of the gate to the main street. Behind it, a man was pulling Glenn into an old beater. She heard Glenn yelling for Daryl. Behind her Rick was fighting off two Walkers that had followed them. With his gunshots ringing in her ears she sprinted to reach Glenn. As she got closer she caught sight of a large Hispanic man coming out of nowhere and kick Daryl to the ground. He raised a baseball bat aiming down Daryl's head. It was unbelievable. _What were the odds of someone sneaking up on Daryl?_

"Shit!" she muttered. _What else can go wrong_? He was distracted by the kid_. _ She didn't want to stop but she knew she didn't have time to help Daryl **and** get to Glenn.

"Shit, shit, shit!" She repeated, remembering that Daryl had saved her from Ed and then Merle. She stepped behind the cholo, cocking her gun. "Drop it or I'll blow your head off!" She ordered. The large guy looked at her sideways, then at his buddy who had just pulled Glenn into the car. He made his choice; he threw the bat at her and took off for the car. Daryl quickly rolled over and shot an arrow, hitting the retreating gangster in the ass. He shouted curses in Spanish, but the arrow didn't slow him down. She and Daryl tried to make it to the car but were a split second too late. Danni felt he noise of the old muffler and tires peeling out like a punch in the gut. She couldn't speak.

"Come back here you sons a bitches!" Daryl shouted as the car sped off wildly.

Then it was quiet, except for the growling and hissing of the Walkers still trying to get in as Daryl pushed the gate shut against them.

"I'll blow your head off?" he said sarcastically. "Really?" He mocked Danni.

"Shut the fuck up I just saved your ass."

"Whatever." He grunted not wanting to admit she was right. His head would be smashed in bloody pieces all over the street now if she hadn't been there.

"What's going on!" Rick approached from behind, dragging the youth by his arm.

"That little turd and his douche bag friends jumped me." Daryl said. "They took Glenn."

He charged the teenager trying to kick him. "I'm gonna stomp your ass!"

Danni jumped on Daryl's back, trying to pull him to the ground. "Leave him! He's the only one who knows where Glenn is! We need him!"

Daryl shoved her off. "The only thing we need is to knock that little bitch's balls up into his throat!"

Danni took a swing at Daryl. He caught her arm and twisted it behind her back. She cried out in pain. He let go and looked at her as if he couldn't believe what he'd just done. His eyes said he was sorry. She kicked him in the shins.

"You're gonna wish you didn't do that" he said.

"What are you gonna do, stomp **my** ass?"

Her hair had come loose from its rubber band and was falling over her face. She swiped it back from her eyes. He wanted to do it for her; touch the hair spilling over her porcelain skin now flushed with fury.

Daryl felt a mixture of anger and longing as he glared at her.

"Not now!" Rick admonished them like they were children. We have to go. It's not safe here."

Rick shoved the kid to Daryl then walked over to retrieve the guns. Danni followed to pick up Glenn's back pack and noticed a wide-brimmed sheriffs hat next to it. She grabbed it. "Rick." He turned back and she tossed the hat to him. He studied it for a minute then put it on and they continued back inside the building to regroup.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

"Those men you were with. We need to know where they went." Rick stated to their hostage.

"I'm not telling you nothing." The skinny, Hispanic teenager sat, arms folded across his chest He wore a white wife beater t-shirt and had a couple of small tattoos on his neck. Danni didn't think they looked gang related.

"What the hell happened out there?" Danni asked Daryl. "You were supposed to cover Glenn."

"I told you this little bastard and his homie friends came out of nowhere and jumped me." Daryl explained defensively.

"Man you're the one that jumped** me** puto. Screaming about trying find his brother like its my fault." Argued their captive.

"They took Glenn, coulda' taken Merle too." Daryl surmised.

"Merle? What kind of hick name is Merle. I wouldn't name my** dog** Merle." The kid taunted with sarcasm and defiance.

At that Daryl furiously charged forward attempting to kick the boy in the head.

"Damn it Daryl, back off!" Rick shouted exasperated, pulling Daryl back.

Danni was getting impatient herself. Why wasn't he giving it up? His buddies had her friend. They had Glenn.

She was clutching his backpack against her chest. She hadn't let go of it since she'd found it lying on the ground at the spot where he'd been taken. Suddenly she remembered. She unzipped the pack and after rummaging around for a second pulled out her blue bandana and was inside. She pushed past Daryl and approached the kid.

"Hey kid!" She got his attention. "You wanna see what happened to the last guy that pissed Daryl off?"

He looked up, blood streaming down the side of his face. All she could think of was how terrified Glenn was now and she was angry. She threw Merle's severed hand in his lap.

"Fuck, fuck!" the kid screamed rolling off the chair, trying to physically get away from the lifeless appendage. "Get it off me! You guys are crazy!" He backed himself into the corner. He'd have gone through the wall if he could have.

"This time he's gonna start with your feet! " She shoved him against the wall.

Daryl looked at the furious girl, impressed by her use of the hand. _Smart move. _Especially since the kid finally relented.

"Okay, okay. I'll tell you. Just don't kill me please. Don't hurt me."

He was crying. The sight of his tears almost made Danni feel sorry for him. All she could focus on was getting Glenn back.

Daryl grabbed the boy by is t-shirt and started to yank him up when Rick finally stepped forward.

"Enough! Now son, you are going show us where our friend is okay?"

The boy nodded, looking over at Daryl and Danni , terror on his face. "Just keep those two psychos away from me. Please." He begged Rick.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo

"You really think its worth it, following him back to his posse? They probably got an ambush waiting for us." Daryl asked Rick "Them gang bangers kill you just for looking at 'em and I'm betting there's a hell of lot more of them than us. What's this kid to you anyway?"

"Any life I have I owe to Glenn." Rick explained. " I was nobody to him. Just some idiot stuck in a tank. He didn't have to help me, but he did."

"Karma." Danni whispered, a tear escaping up as she remembered the conversation she and Glenn had the night before.

"Now there's nothing holding you two here. Why don't you head back to camp." Rick looked at them earnestly. "Go."

Daryl considered it for a moment. He wasn't convinced that Merle was with those guys.

"No Way. Not without Glenn." "Danni's voice broke when she said his name.

"You're real messed up about that Chinese kid, huh?"" Daryl stated, more than asked.

"He's _Korean_, and yeah, I am upset. He's my friend and he's in trouble."

"All right then." Daryl said, his voice husky and decisive. He nodded down to look in her eyes. He slung the crossbow over his shoulder and grabbed two of the rifles Rick had laid out on the table. He handed one to her and kept the other . "Lets go get him."


	12. Of Boots and Guns

_**Yeah, you keep lyin' when you oughta be truthin'**_

_**And you keep losing when you oughta not bet**_

_**You keep samin' when you oughta be changin'**_

_**Now, what's right is right but you ain't been right yet**_

_**These boots are made for walking and that's just what they'll do**_

_**One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.**_

_**-Lee Hazelwood**_

"Damn it, where's Daryl?" Rick was at his limit.

They had followed the kid, Miguel, to a run down auto body shop where his gang had Glenn.

"He was right behind me." Danni stated." Maybe he changed his mind about this. Went off after Merle on his own."

She was at once relieved and disappointed. He'd been making her uncomfortable and she hated his overbearing tone, but found his swagger and cocky insolence compelling. She missed the tension between them when he wasn't around.

"Your hick friend is scared. He should be too. G would have taken one of those arrows of his and shoved it right up his ass. Puto's smart about that anyway." Miguel, had gotten his bravado back.

"G?" Rick asked.

"Guillermo, he's the man here."

"Okay. We'll have a talk with him."

Rick would have preferred another body for back up but he knew they had no time to waste waiting around for Daryl to possibly return. He and Danni would handle it alone.

Rick sized up the woman holding a Remington 870 police issue shotgun. It looked extra-large in her hands. She was not what he normally saw back home in King County. It was a quiet, suburban place with plenty of good 'ol boy lawbreakers around the outskirts. He and Shane had far more run ins with the likes of the Dixon's than anyone like Danni. She had a style you wouldn't want your daughter copying. She looked tough, like trouble.

Her black hair was falling out of its pony tail. She wore a t- shirt that barely covered a navel ring and tattoos above tight fitting black jeans low on her hips. Her silver skull and crossbones belt buckle was far from feminine. He studied her face and thought she was pretty, almost delicate, but trying to look hardened. He was glad he didn't have a daughter. He thought of Carl, relieved that boys were easier to raise. Still, she had done right by everyone so far. And, Glenn trusted her. That was the reason she was here now.

"You think you can stay calm, focused and listen to me?" He asked her.

"Yeah," She answered seriously. He believed her.

They crouched down, dividing the shotgun shells. As they were loading the guns, Miguel put his head in his hands.

"C'mon guys, this is fucked up. Give G the guns. He just wants the guns."

"I can't do that." Rick answered.

He and Danni sat, their backs against a crumbling brick wall, taking a last respite before walking into what could be a slaughter.

"You sure you're up for this?" Rick asked her one last time.

Before she could answer a pair of black engineer boots fell into her lap from above.

"What the fu...!" she started.

Rick sprang up aiming his shotgun at the source of the drop.

"Daryl!" He lowered the weapon. "I could have killed you. You really are one stupid son of a bitch; you **do** know that."

"Best watch what you call me officer. Had somethin' to do." He answered Rick and nonchalantly said to Danni,

"Put those on."

"Where did you..."

"A couple of blocks back. Don't worry, she aint gonna need 'em no more."

Indicating he had taken the boots off of a corpse.

She nodded.

"Hurry up." He ordered. "Those god damned useless shoes you got on now aint gonna do shit for you out here."

"You don't think?" she asked sarcastically since it was about the fourth time he'd told her that.

"Seen a couple snakes in these lots around here; rattlers, Copperheads. I don't want to be sucking poison out of your damn foot and have to carry you back." He shook his head. "But suit yourself, do whatever the hell ya want."

He pretended to focus on his crossbow. He held it out in front of him, checking the tension, but was taking a sidelong glance at Danni. She kicked off the tattered black tennis shoes and started pulling on the boots.. He thought she might have thrown them at his head instead, for the way he talked to her. He knew she didn't like it.

By this point Miguel was rolling his eyes. "You two psychos are really weird, man."

"You want me to kick your teeth in?" Daryl threatened.

The boots were hardly worn at all. 10" height, a little roomy around her calf. The close fit surprised her. Only about half-size too large.

"Fit okay?" He asked noting the surprise on her face.

'Yeah, How did you know what size I am?"

"Your footprints. That's what they looked to be."

"You can use tracking skills for shopping, cool."

His face reddened. "Shut up. We aint got all day."

"No, we don't." Rick interrupted. "Are you two finished fooling around?"

Daryl ignored him, checking his weapons.

"Daryl, what were you thinking?" Rick was still angry. "Leaving like that?"

""Don't matter. I'm here now."

"Look, I need to know that I can count on you."

"I said I'm here." He growled. "We goin' in or what?"

They stepped over a crumbling stone wall into the courtyard of the auto shop.. Danni tread on shards of broken glass, from a million smashed bottles, rusted metal and other discarded trash in the lot overgrown with weeds. Daryl was right about her shoes. She smelled gasoline and motor oil. As they got closer, Rick motioned for them to shoulder their weapons and aim. Daryl raised his crossbow and she held up the shotgun and they walked slowly behind him. He pushed Miguel forward.

They approached the garage door, and as if G had been waiting for them, it immediately rolled up to expose a group of men, all armed. They were wearing the chinos, plaid button ups, wife beaters, and bandanas that cholo were known for. In front stood young Hispanic man to whom the rest seemed to look for direction. G. He calmly approached.

"You okay little man?" He asked Miguel.

"They're gonna chop off my feet!"

"Cops do that?"

"Not him, that hillbilly. The chica showed me some dude's hand he had. He done it before."

"That true? you gonna do something sick like that to my little cousin?"

"Look, things were said; mistakes were made in the heat of the moment." Rick said.

"You two don't look related. What's he to you?" G asked, sizing Daryl up.

"He's part of our group more or less. I'm sure you have a few like him."

She didn't hear the click of the rifle, it was too far away, but Daryl heard it with his acute hunter's ear. The metallic sound was to his left, and came from the rooftop. He jerked his head and saw the gunman take his shot. He threw his cross-bow down and tackled Danni to the ground, shielding her body with his own.

The last things she remembered were the crack of a gunshot, Daryl on top of her and an intense pain when her head hit the ground.


	13. I Can Take a Little Pain

_**Your bad habits and your attitude  
Your restless ways and your solitude**_

_-Lucinda Williams_

Danni felt like she was having the worst hangover of her life. Her skull was pounding and the light hurt her eyes when she tried to open them. She didn't know where she was until she heard Carol's voice. She was back at camp. She squinted up at the ceiling of her van.

"You're awake." Carol was sitting beside her; she pressed a cold cloth to the throbbing spot on the side of Danni's head.

"We think you've got a concussion. You've been unconscious since yesterday. Sit up sweetie, have some water."

Her gentle voice made Danni feel like crying. "Yes,** mom,**" She said trying to joke. She pulled herself up, the movement sending a shooting pain through her temple. She winced. "Feel like shit, that's for sure."

She took a small sip from the bottle Carol handed her.

"Glenn?"Danni asked almost afraid of the answer.

"He's fine. So are Rick and Daryl."

Relief flooded her. She remembered being in the vacant lot as Rick exchanged words with Guillermo. After hearing the crack of the gunshot, she felt Daryl push her, and the rock smash the side of her head when she hit the ground.

"How did I get here..."

"Daryl." Carol couldn't hide a smile. "He carried you all the way back."

"You're kidding?"

Carol continued to look amused. "He's been checking in on you too."

"Daryl? Dixon?"

"I think he feels responsible."

"For what? He saved my life if I'm remembering right."

She nodded ."For your concussion. He thinks its his fault that your head hot that rock."

"It's not."

"That's just the kind of man he is." Carol summed up. "You'll never convince him otherwise."

"She's back with us." Carol said when she noticed Rick looking in the side door.

"Good." He sounded genuinely relieved.

"Rick I'm sorry about what happened." Danni apologized. " I wanted to help, to have your back, not become one more person you had to worry about."  
"Actually, the shot saved us all trouble. I'm real sorry about you being hurt like this, but that gangster's dumb move got us Glenn back."

"How?"

"There was a lot of blood from your head wound, so G thought his buddy's shot hit you. He panicked. We played along. Actually, Daryl convinced them you were dead and that we'd come back with the rest of our "army" and take out the whole place. We made the exchange in promise for no retaliation over you."

"It couldn't have been that easy."

"They weren't all that they seemed. They were a lot more like us than you'd think. Killing the dead is one thing, the living. something else. They get that. Miguel, a couple of guns and the promise we wouldn't take revenge for you and we had Glenn."

Before he left he said "Danni, I'm glad you're okay. You did right out there."

He ducked his head out and walked away.

"Honey, why don't you let me take that blood soaked shirt from you and wash it. Your pants too." Carol offered.

Danni realized she still had on the clothes she'd worn into Atlanta. Her yellow t-shirt was completely saturated in dried crimson.

"You don't mind? Because I can do it myself later."

"No, let me, you need to rest."

Danni pulled the shirt off over her head.

"Bra too." Carol suggested.

"I'm a mess." She felt uneasy, having Carol acting so motherly toward her.

"This okay?" Carol handed her a thin cotton tank top and some worn blue jeans from a pile of clothes next to the guitar cases stacked by the wheel well of the van.

Danni nodded, a lump in her throat. She put on the clean clothes.

"One more thing." Carol said leaning toward the younger woman. She brushed out Danni's tangled black hair, removing the knots and flakes of dried blood.

"That hurt?" she asked when she got close to the now swollen scabbed wound above Danni's ear."

"Not too bad." Danni suddenly felt tears streaming down her cheeks. Carol's soft voice and affectionate touch was foreign. It was a secret longing, that mother's love and attention she'd lacked all of her life.

"When you're feeling better you can wash that hair of yours." Carol suggested. "Are you sure I'm not hurting you?" She noticed Danni's tears.

Danni shook her head.

"Hey honey, come here." Carol hugged Danni. "You're okay. Shhh."

Danni regained her composure and awkwardly moved out of Carol's embrace. "You are **such** a mom." She said trying to laugh.

Carol nodded, understanding. "Well, I'll get these back to you soon as I can." She smiled.

Danni's head and entire body ached. When she was alone, she curled up in a fetal position, willing the pain to stop; the pain in her head and the pain in her heart.

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Danni slept on and off during the rest of the afternoon. Gradually, she began to feel more like herself.

A few concerned visitors stopped by. Carl and Sophia brought her some wildflowers they had picked.

Carl was sure to mention that the flowers were the little girl's idea.

A few hours later, only Glenn remained recounting the events of the stand-off in Atlanta.

"I can't believe how much blood there was." Glenn was telling her. "I thought the bullet hit you. But Daryl didn't freak out. He held you up and Guillermo started yelling at his guys to stand down. It all happened so fast. "

"I'm so glad we got you. Did Daryl really carry me back here?"

"Yeah, he said it was easy. Just like hauling a dead deer out of the woods on his back. "

"Nice."

They laughed.

Danni was feeling better; she still had a headache and her mind felt a little fuzzy, but her vision was fine.

Glenn's voice became serious. "Rick and Shane are planning a move." He told her. "Rick wants to go to the CDC and find out about this disease or whatever it is. He thinks there may be a cure. Shane wants to head to the army base at Fort Benning in the opposite direction. They're trying to work it out. My vote's with Rick." Glenn said definitely. "You?"

"Yeah, team Rick all the way."

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_**You are what you love and not what loves you back.**_

_-Jenny Lewis_

Before she took Danni's dirty clothing to wash at the lake, Carol made a stop.

"She's awake, you know." She surprised Daryl.

"What are you talking 'bout."

"Danni."

Carol saw concern cross his face.

"She's fine."

The tender expression was quickly replaced with his regular scowl.

"You come all the way over here to tell me that?" he asked.

"I just thought you'd want to know."

"Well I don't. None of my business." He shook his head. "Ya mind? I got things to do here." He motioned to squirrels he was skinning.

"It's okay to care."

"Lady, what are you on about now? Told ya I'm busy."

Carol smiled as he indirectly asked her to leave.

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Daryl stealthily walked the perimeter of the camp. Rick wanted someone to patrol every couple of hours. The threat of Walkers migrating out of the city was real.

He was close to the lake where the women were doing laundry. He had no intention of stopping until he heard her name.

"Is that Danni's shirt?" He heard Amy ask Carol.

He hung back, behind a tree listening.

"Yes, just getting the blood out."

"Poor girl." Andrea commented. "But, you know, that's what you get for trying be so tough; running with the boys. What is she trying to prove anyway? "

"Carl started talking about wanting a tattoo. He thinks Danni's are** cool. " **Lori added."Lord, that'll be the day I let my son mark himself up like that."

"Why would you want them so big?" Amy asked. "And so many. It's not feminine."

"I wonder if she does drugs. Sometimes junkies cover track marks with tattoos." Andrea mused.

"I **doubt** that." Carol stopped her. "You know, she's a sweet girl. She got hurt trying help Glenn. Risked her life for him. She's been a big help around here."

"Of course she has." Andrea said defensively. "We didn't mean anything by it."

"We don't know her well." Lori explained.

"Do we know anyone well at this point?" Carol asked."She's a little different, that's all."

_Figures they talk like that. Regular hen party. _Daryl thought, moving on. He knew they had plenty to say about him, too.

_These people are wound tighter than bark on a tree. Except maybe Carol. She's the only one whose nose aint so high up in the air she'd drown if it rained. _

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Danni was glad she could live out of her van. It had always been her home away from home when the band was on the road. She parked at the edge of the camp where the fire pit burned, low, almost out. If she craned her neck around the open side door, she could see the others' tents, now dark, scattered, but all within a safe distance of each other. Everyone else had turned in. She was trying to write while the moon was full enough to offer some light. Her mind was as blank as the page of her Moleskin journal. She'd always been a writer. It was how she made sense of the world. She'd kept a journal since she was a kid and then started writing poems and lyrics. She sighed at her current lack of inspiration. She read her handwriting on the inside cover:

"Shyness is only the effect of a sense of inferiority in some way or other.

If I could persuade myself that my manners were perfectly easy and graceful,

I should not be shy."

-Jane Austen.

Danni collected quotations. She copied down every passage she read or heard that inspired her, or put her feelings into better words than she could imagine.

She listened to the crickets. Tonight they were too loud.

A twig snapped and something rustled in the leaves. She was about to grab a crowbar or tire iron when she saw Daryl approaching. She quickly closed the book and put it down beside her.

"Don't sneak up on me like that!" She tried to keep her voice down, so as not to wake anyone.

"Here." he tossed her a standard orange medication bottle. "Kick ass painkillers. For your head."

"Where..."

"Merle's stash. He left it behind. Got all kinds of stuff. Crystal, X, speed."

His voice was without its standard gruffness.

"Any Valium?" she asked

"Yeah, I think. Why, you a pill head?"

"No, but I like a Valium with my beer once in a while. What about you?"

"Nah. Never seen the appeal. Watched Merle do too many stupid ass things. More trouble than its worth. Don't even drink all that much. Just to get shit faced if I need to. That surprise you?"

"Should it?"

He shrugged. 'I know these people think I'm a methed out snakebiter. Seen how they look at me."

She caught his use of "these people" and not "you people."

"They probably think I'm a damned junkie."

"Yeah, well..."

She laughed. "Fuck 'em."

He almost smiled. "You want the Valium or what ?"

"No, not really. Out here I'm alert all the time**."**

"Like they say, alert today, alive tomorrow."

"Who says that?"

"I don't know, somebody."He got flustered for a minute. "Jesus girl, you always give me a hard time."

He stood, chewing the rough skin around his thumbnail. She'd seen him do it before. The silence didn't bother her so much, but she sensed he wanted something.

He studied her long toned arms._ Screw what Andrea and her sister said._ The tattoos suited Danni. He noticed how perfectly the words Fever Few scrolled around her delicate wrist next to an image of the blue and yellow flower. There were more flowers, words he couldn't make out, a panther, tiger and some kind of virgin mary. _The Mexican one, _he thought.

Danni noticed him looking at the large portrait of Our Lady of Guadalupe covering the top half of her left arm. "She's the patron saint of the poor. My kind of saint."

He nodded. "Looks like a fuckin' painting. They all do."

"What do you have? On your back I can see some of it."

"Nothin worth lookin at." He became agitated and pulled at his shirt, trying to cover the black ink on his shoulder. His reaction was extreme, so she didn't push it. She had a feeling there was more than a tattoo marking up his back.

"Daryl, I know you saved my life." She changed the subject, needing to thank him.

He looked more than uncomfortable. He started pacing slowly.

"What you did was fucking dangerous. You might have been killed yourself."

"Yeah, I got good reflexes." He automatically minimized his actions.

"I'm glad you were there; you knew what to do."

Her appreciation and recognition rattled him. As usual, he felt lost for words and kicked at the dirt with toe of his boot.

"Well thank you. Okay?"

"I gotta go."

She nodded.

Despite what he'd said, he didn't move. After hesitating, he surprised her by pulling himself up into the vehicle to sit across from her.

_He was always such a mess. Like a little boy. No one to tell him to wash his hair or change his clothes. S_he thought. He had on his usual attire, dirty, sleeveless flannel shirt , cargo pants, those Red Wings. The shirt's roughly cut sleeves drew her attention to his strong, broad shoulders. She imagined him carrying her. _I wish I'd been awake to feel him holding me. _He looked up as if he read her mind. Their eyes locked and his piercing blue stare met hers. She swore his eyes had changed. The blue iris darkened with something primitive. She felt heat between them and she couldn't remove her eyes from his. He suddenly shifted his gaze down.

He made her uneasy, brought out those damn butterflies in her stomach. But, she didn't want him to leave. She tried to make more conversation.

"I can't believe you carried me back here." She hoped her voice wasn't shaking.

He shrugged. "Nuthin' to it. Me and Merle carried bucks out of the woods all the time. He made me do it. Wouldn't let me quarter the damn animal or nuthin'. Had to be whole- Merle said real men carried their kill whole. So I did."

"He was hard on you."

Daryl became defensive. "He wanted me to be a man not a pussy. That's all. He'd say if you're gonna be stupid you better be tough."

"He called you stupid?"

His eyes darkened and she thought she saw pain for a brief second before they flashed anger. "Don't talk about Merle." His abrupt tone shut her down. Just like that.

She never seemed to say the right thing to him.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He said jumping down from his seat. As he moved off into the woods he called back, "Hope them pills help yer head."

He left her feeling dissatisfied; wanting more. But more of what? He pushed and pulled and she let him. She picked up her journal and started writing. The words came out automatically:

**_That look on your face yanks my neck on the chain, and I would do anything to see you again. _**


	14. Dreams or Premonitions

******Hi and a big thaks to the new followers. I appreciate it! Just a reminder: story is Rated M. This chapter is getting to the good stuff. Smutmance. (Romantic smuttyness) :)**

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**_I saw you with your make-up running down_**

**_Now what's that all about_**

**_You say you don't want anyone around_**

**_Cause you're all cleaned out_**

**_You toss the empty beer_**

**_Not really as composed as you appear_**

**_A icicle inside_**

**_Wearing clothes that clash_**

**_Wondering is this treasure, is this trash_**

**_Still trying to decide_**

**_-Eliot Smith_**

_The cold made her fingers ache. Danni wore her sweatshirt with the hood up over her head desperate for extra warmth. What was this place? Chilled sunlight filtered in through dirty, cracked windows. An odd assortment of tools scattered on all surfaces. She noticed a broken a table saw on a filthy workbench. This place was a wood shop that was shot to shit now. Paint peeled on the high ceiling. The walls were cinderblock and the floor concrete. That was why she was cold. No heat in here. She walked up behind Daryl, placing her hand gently on his back. She startled him and he turned his head. They both looked bit older; darker somehow. His hair had deepened with growth and his cheeks hollowed out some. She was paler than ever and her eyes had darkened from the things she'd seen._

_"What are you doin' here?" He shook her hand off and looked away._

_"You came back alone...and you look so..." She ventured._

_He didn't let her finish. "What? What do I look like? A traitor? How 'bout some weak piece of shit who can't protect his own family?"_

_He directed his anger at himself more than at Danni._  
_"I killed him. That what you wanna know? I got there and he was turned. I had to. My own brother. " He sounded stunned._

_"Daryl, I'm sorry."_

_He finally turned toward her. She could see he'd been crying. Suddenly he was furious._

_"Don't tell me you're sorry about Merle." He choked out his brother's name. You don't know nothin' about us."_

_"I know you loved him."_

_"Shut up. You think you got me figured out. You feel sorry for me, huh? Fucked up family, stupid, violent, backwoods hick. I don't belong here. " He paused His crystalline blue eyes bore down on her. "You don't know me, so stop acting like you do. You don't know shit!"_

_She pulled back as if he'd hit her. She felt their entire friendship dissolving right there. Any amount of trust they'd managed to develop was gone._

_He asked her again "What are you **doin**'?"_

_"Checking on you."_

_"I didn't ask you to. You keep trailing me around. What do you **wan**t?"_

_He glowered at her. His eyes were slits._

_"Nothing." She managed to say, feeling ashamed of being wrong about him._

_"Good, cause you aint my problem."_

_"Yeah, well, you're not mine either!" She shot back louder, this time. "I'm sick of the games. One minute you treat me like a human being, the next you act like don't know me. Its been over a year and you won't let me in. I have a hard time with people too, you know, but I let you get to me. It was a mistake. God, we wasted so much time." The realization left her defeated and exhausted._

_"You're a scared little girl all alone so you been hanging on me thinking we'll be something for each other. Making up some stupid idea of how its gonna be with us. We're both alone. We're nothin'. Hear me?"_

_"You're right."_

_Her agreement caught him off guard._

_"I might die tomorrow. I'm not gonna spend what could be my last day being talked to like that by you or anyone. I've taken enough shit in my life. I am not doing that any more. So just get out of my way."_

_Her shoulder knocked into him as she rushed past. She stalked away, yelling back, "Speechless?" She screeched with fury. "What else is new!"_

_He couldn't let her have the last word. "We might **all **die tomorrow, so I'll say whatever the hell I want to all y'all! Even a dog knows the difference between being stumbled over and being kicked."_

_He immediately regretted his words. There was no time for fear like this. He'd take on a group of Walkers without thinking twice, but his feelings about this goddamned girl terrified him. He had been too late with Merle; too late to fix things, to make it right and that mistake would pain him for the rest of his life. He wasn't going to do that with Danni. He knew that without Merle he needed her more than ever._

_"Shit." He muttered. Moving quickly, he beat her to the door and blocked her exit. She pivoted and tried to push past, but he grabbed her shoulders. His grip was firm and as she started to struggle and protest he shoved her against the wall. "Just hold still."_

_"What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously._

_"Dammit girl, do what I say"_

_"Why?"_

_"Just shut up." He pushed her hood off and moved his face in close to hers so that their foreheads touched. It shocked her. He seemed unreal until she felt the scratch of his scruffy chin on her cheek and his rough hands under her sweatshirt. She reached up and grabbed a handful of his hair. He hesitated but only for a second. He pushed his lips against hers and she kissed him hard, breathlessly taking his tongue into her mouth. They were hungry for each other._

_They had spent enormous amounts of energy denying and avoiding the attraction. A mutual refusal born of fear. Fear of caring about someone in a time when life was so cheap and uncertain. Still, the longing had been there and it made this release almost too intense. Neither Daryl nor Danni could hold back anymore. They were ready as soon as their bodies came together._

_He immobilized her against the wall. His mouth still covering hers sucking in her hot, jagged breath. When she felt him un sheath his knife, cut the waist band of her leggings and push them aside she almost came. His knee kept her legs apart. He undid his own belt. She heard his zipper come down, then felt his hands firmly on her hips lifting them to the perfect height for her to feel him as he entered her. She bent her knees and pressed them on either side of his waist. He held her there, hands under her ass, relishing the power he felt being able to control their movement. He rocked her back and forth thrusting at the right time, hitting that perfect spot as he moved inside her. She fell in on herself and as soon as he realized she was climaxing, he stopped. It was obvious to him by way she stiffened, gasped and hiccupped his name; now he wanted her to beg for more. She writhed against him until he started moving again. He made her work for every breath stealing contraction. Fear pricked at the back of her neck, the terror that it would fall away and she'd lose everything so she did beg. Begged him not to stop_

_"Open your eyes." He said, his voice pure gravel. "I want you lookin' at me."_

She woke up mid orgasm. She had surrendered herself to the swelling waves of pleasure washing over her in the dream state and they continued now, her breath becoming more ragged with each flash of heat. As the last twinge low in her belly faded, she gasped and dug her fingers into the material of her sleeping bag. "Shit." she sighed then "What is happening to me?" She felt like she'd just watched a movie that was too explicit for her comfort level because it involved Daryl. Again. Must have been the Vicodin. She'd taken the pain killers last night for her head. Drug dreams are the craziest right? And the concussion. Maybe. Or maybe it was happening again. Her premonitions. Two dreams about him meant more would come. They were increasing in intensity and this one referenced Merle. Merle was back? Daryl had killed him? The symbolism in that could fill a book. she thought.

She lay stretched out on her back.

She thought of her Nana Brigid, an Irish traveller. She was known as a Cailleach; a wise woman of her clan. She'd always said Danni had the gift. She'd encouraged her, as child, to work on her talents, practice, study the lore of the old ways. Danni dind not take it seriously. She read her horoscope and was never without her tarot cards, but presently, she was a lapsed Irish Gypsy Witch. Her friends called her psychic because her hunches and feelings often panned out. But the dreams were a constant as she grew up. Dreams that came true. Before her mother would pack her and her sister up to move when the rent was due, she saw the new house or apartment in a dream. She dreamed of Austin, of her band before she moved there. But the dreams had stopped. For a long time. After the move to Texas and creation of her band Drunken Angel, she hadn't dreamt at all. Until now.


	15. Happy Birthday Little Brother

_**As always big thanks to you awesome followers! I finally got some more reviews! Love it! xxxx**_

_*** This chapter explores Daryl's sexual inexperience. It follows Danni's dream chapters to show how different he is in reality. But remember, her dreams are premonitions!**_

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_**Cupid, don't you know that it's over?**_

_**Cupid pulls the arrow, shoots it forward**_

_**Cupid's armed for God a faithful soldier away**_

_**Cupid's a heartless angel with a cruel composure, oh yes**_

_**Cupid's fight with me as battles ancient**_

_**Cupid don't you know that it's over**_

_**I want to leave here**_

_**Don't say that you aim to please,**_

_**Don't say that you love**_

_**What's done is done, when it comes to me**_

_**-Spinnerette**_

Danni let the last of the dream slip away. The sky was becoming light. She couldn't remember a time in her life when she woke early enough to the see the sunrise. She was usually just getting to bed at dawn. Now she saw the sky light the morning almost every day. She opened her aqua blue vintage 60's train case. She kept her clothes and toiletries in a duffel bag when she was on tour, but this thrift store score was where she put her treasures. She rummaged for her tarot cards. The ones Nana Brigid left her when she passed. If the dreams were returning, she needed more tools. She found a bar of honey jasmine soap, a scrapbook of band press clippings, small framed picture of a young Joan Jett, one of Janis Joplin, leopard print scarf and a bottle of pink glitter nail polish. Sophia would love that. Then she saw the knife. What was that doing in here?

It was Hayes' trench knife. He never let that thing out of his sight. He loved it and knew she had always coveted it He collected knives and this was his rarest find. It was a working replica of a WWI trench knife. The blade was 6" of sharp steel attached to an oversized knuckleduster grip handle. What was it doing in her train case? He must have put it there before he'd left to explore the highway. A week ago? Seemed like 10 years. He must have sensed danger and wanted her to have his knife if he didn't come back. She realized it was the perfect Walker weapon. Great for skull crushing._ I'll never leave home without it._

Finally she found the cards. She unwrapped them from their black silk cloth and shuffled. Sitting cross-legged on her sleeping bag. she held them against her chest and breathed in and out deeply. Shuffled again. She cut the deck into 3 piles, Then pulled a card from the center stack. "The Lovers."

"Fuck that." She said aloud. "Stop messing with me Nana."

She decided on a 3 card spread this time. First card Death, second 10 of Swords, third 7 of Wands reversed.

The Death card can mean physical death but also a major life change. 10 of swords indicated an ending of a situation. 7 of wands reversed was losing a battle or fight through indecision. How did that relate to Daryl and the relationship growing between them?

She wrote the spread down in her journal. _I'll think about it later._

She heard noises of the camp waking. Sophia and Carl were laughing and shouting as they started the first game of the day. Probably tag or something. Danni needed a bath in the lake. She hadn't done more than sponge herself off since getting back from Atlanta. Her hair desperately needed washing.

Even at this early hour the air was hot and the humidity rising. She took the worn jeans from yesterday and cut them, breaking her rule about never wearing shorts. The weather was too damn much out here. She put them on top of the pile to take to the lake. that included clean bra and panties, black Motorhead t-shirt, belt, the honey jasmine soap, towel and Hayes' trench knife.

Breakfast noises and smells drifted her way. Coffee. She debated washing up in the lake or coffee first. Coffee. She'd grab her pile on the way back. She remembered the nail polish for Sophia.

She didn't bother to change out of what she'd slept in: mens plaid boxers and a white tank top. She just pulled on her engineer boots, and headed over to the group, unconsciously keeping an eye out for Daryl. She knew she'd feel awkward seeing so soon after her dream.

"Welcome back young lady." Dale welcomed her. "Feeling better today I hope?"

"Danni nodded pouring herself some coffee. She sat across from him, next to Glenn on an empty lawn chair.

"I feel like myself again."

"Good night's sleep will do that for you."

She nodded almost laughing, remembering her dream.

Carol leaned down and handed Danni the items she'd washed for her. The clean clothes were neatly folded. She also gave her a bowl of oatmeal, with some black berries freshly picked from the surrounding bushes. "Here eat this. You probably haven't had anything in days."

Danni let Carol continue to mother her.

"Carol, is Sophia old enough?"

Danni held up the bottle of pink nail polish.

"Of course. She'll love it."

The breakfast conversation indicated that Rick and Shane were still at their impasse about which direction to move the group. What they were both sure of was that the group was moving out the following morning. Rick was standing, Shane sat in a camp chair each saying their piece.

"We've been lucky so far. No Walkers have been inside the camp, but Shane and I saw signs that some are getting close."

"Like stealing my deer? " Daryl approached, from behind the RV. "I tracked that thing for a day and half and those pieces of shit started in on it soon as it fell. "Filthy, disease-bearing, motherless poxy bastards, sons of..."

"Yes, animals have turned up half eaten." Rick cut him off.

Danni heard Daryl's voice and jumped up quickly. She dropped her coffee and the folded clothing.

"Hey, you okay?" Glenn asked.  
"My head is starting to bother me again."

She headed off without picking up her laundry.

"So, the threat is getting closer..." She heard Rick's voice grow fainter.

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Danni was about to grab her clothes and soap and head to lake when she heard Daryl behind her.

"Can't get away from me fast enough, huh." He was carrying the laundry she had dropped earlier. She took it from him wordlessly.

"This about last night?" He asked

"Last night?"

"What I did to you last night?"

_What you did to me last night?_

It wasn't like her to be so jumpy, so distant.

"Cussing you out about Merle. Just don't like talking about him."

She still didn't answer.

"What's got you so spooked girl? I don't see snakes on the ground or lightning in the sky."

" I have stuff to do. You need to go."

He huffed. "Just came to bring you your clothes. Carol wanted me to."

_Women. She's as high and mighty as the rest. Aint gonna give me the time a day no more. Whatever. _He thought trudging away.

She hated feeling like she had to hide from anybody, but she couldn't shake the sense that if she looked at him he'd see her dream, frame by frame like a film playing through her mind. _What would be so bad about that? He'd laugh. I know he'd laugh, or worse. _

She picked up her pile of clean clothes and soap and headed to the lake. Finally time for that bath.

"Hey Danni, my mom said you had a present for me."

Sophia had followed Danni back to her van. The girl waited until Daryl had walked away, then approached

"Aw yeah, munchkin." She pulled the bottle of nail polish from inside her boot.

"Pink, its pretty." Sophia remarked less excited than Danni expected. She'd been through so much and she was just a little girl.

"Yes it is. We** can't** forget pretty things. Right?** Not ever**?"

"Not ever." Sophia smiled.

" It sparkles too. How bout we do a manicure after I get cleaned up?"

Sophia nodded, smiling. "Can I come with you?"

"Sure thing little bug. Just you though. No boys allowed, right?"

"Right."

Amy was already in the water when Danni and Sophia reached the lake. She had on a bikini and was lathering herself with a soapy wash cloth.

"Oh, its you two." She said seeing them approach.

"Don't worry," Sophia called to her. "No boys allowed."

Amy laughed. "Too bad.'

"Why did she say that?" Sophia asked Danni.

"Beats me, honey."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

Daryl walked carefully, listening for any rustling in the underbrush. He was still pissed about the wasted deer; squirrel or pheasant would have to do.

He sensed movement to his left and heard the scrape of claws on tree bark before he saw the squirrel. It stopped, halfway up the tree. He raised his crossbow and lined the rodent up in his sight He pulled his bow back and...Missed. Again._Shit, what is with me. Goddamned girl._

He couldn't stop thinking about Danni's coldness toward him this morning. She shut him down; told him to leave. **He** usually did that to her, not the other way around. It was bothering him. Whether he wanted to admit it or not, Daryl was reluctantly developing a friendship with her. After her injury in Atlanta, he realized it would be boring as hell without her around. He liked their run- ins; liked saving her ass and giving her shit. She gave it right back. She didn't whine and bitch like everybody else in camp. _She didn't give a rat's ass what anyone else thought of her. _

_ What did I do now? Figures I messed it up. Maybe she's expecting me to make a move on her. Nah, she never flirts or nothin'. Not really. _That was one of the things made him comfortable around her. He didn't know how to react when a woman came on to him or flirted. Danni just acted normal, like he was a person. She wasn't always trying to get in his head or his pants, like every other girl he'd known.

He remembered the time she gave him a hard on. it wasn't on purpose. He was holding her up to get that damn ladder in Atlanta when they looked for Merle. If there was anyone he could be interested in sexually it was her. He felt embarrassed and a little excited. He rid himself of the thought. Nothing like that would ever happen. It never did. He certainly wasn't going to push her up against a tree and...

He sat on a boulder, chewing on a stalk of grass. He hated remembering shit.

When he turned 16, Merle took him to see Misty, the local working girl in town. It was between her and Merle's favorite lot lizard Cherry. He figured Misty would be better for a first time. Daryl could do it on a bed, not in the truck. Her clapboard house was at the edge of town, by the interstate. Trucks roared by all day and night.

"Bout** time** you became a man." Merle announced as he paid Misty in advance. "Go easy on him baby." He winked at her. She smiled and kissed him, right there, as if Daryl wasn't even in the room. He wished he wasn't.

"Enough of that sugar, save it for my little brother."

Misty led the teenager into her bedroom, while Merle sat on the couch drinking a beer and watching television. Ten minutes later Daryl exited the room and fled straight out the front door.

"Produced the juice before you put it in the caboose." Merle said when came outside. He laughed. "It happens. Not to me mind ya, but..." he kept laughing. "We'll wait a couple of hours then you'll go on back in there."

He refused, so Merle wouldn't let him in the truck. Daryl walked the three and half miles home. On his birthday. The next day his nickname was Speedy Gonzales. Merle and his buddies got lot of mileage for ridicule out of that one.

_Thanks big brother._

Since that first experience.. Daryl hadn't known how to build any confidence around women. He never had a high school girlfriend. He quit at 17 right before graduation. No one in his family had graduated high school. He wasn't going to be the first and take shit from Merle and his dad for thinking he was better than them.

He didn't understand what the hell women wanted, or how to talk to them. He only had Merle.

He wasn't like his older brother. Merle treated women like shit and they ate it up. He pushed them around, insulted them and still they were all over him. Daryl guessed that's what a real man did. Took what he wanted. Women were just things, trash. He grew up listening to Merle's crude sex advice. He could hear Merle, now, in his head:

"My favorite way to do a bitch is the** bronco**. Listen and learn little brother. You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another girls name. Makes her mad as a hornet. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she tries to buck you off."

Daryl couldn't understand why a woman would stand for it; but he'd never have told Merle that.

Their small north Georgia mountain town's population numbered less than 300. Everybody knew everybody else's business. They may have been the "no good Dixons" but women outnumbered men by at least 40. Ladies weren't so choosy. Most of them liked that bad boy image Merle cultivated. Being Merle Dixon's younger, quieter and some said, more attractive brother provided Daryl plenty of opportunity for sex. However, any attempt had ended in his getting too drunk to finish.

He hated thinking about this shit. He wished he was getting drunk now.

The girls back home were all the same. Bottle blondes, who bought their tans and fingernails. They hung in packs, talking loud, smoking Marlboro lites, drinking wine coolers. They'd ask to play him at pool and end up hanging all over him, messing with his shots. Laughing and flirting. Touching his arms and chest. It unnerved him. He was 16 again.

"Dammit boy! They ain't interested in playing pool, they want to play something else. You stupid or what?" Merle taunted. Everyone would be laughing at him, Merle loudest of all. Daryl would push the girl off of himself and stalk over to the bar for another shot and a beer. If the she didn't end up leaving with Merle and Daryl didn't end up in a brawl, she'd sit with him until he got drunk enough to go home with her. After that his memory got fuzzy. He'd wake up feeling like shit, the woman from the night before giving him a look that was either hateful or just filled with pity. He'd leave, unable to say a word. It was the same thing every time. After a while his reputation stopped most women from bothering with him. So yeah, he had a secret. He was still a virgin.

He spent most of his time in the woods alone. It didn't matter there. He'd stay out hunting for days. That made sense to him. Females made no sense and he didn't want to deal with the bullshit.

His mind returned to Danni. She was unlike any woman he'd come across before. She did everything she could to look as unlike the girls from back home as possible. He liked her black hair against the palest skin he'd ever seen. Her tattoos looked like real paintings, not the tramp stamps and shitty butterflies on shoulders or ankles back home. Her clothing was tight and showed off her shape, but it wasn't overtly revealing. He liked that he had to imagine what she looked like under her jeans and t-shirts. He wanted to touch the tattoos on her hip bones. The sparrows always peeking out. He could tell she was a girl who'd never wear shoes she couldn't run in. Above all she'd never let Merle treat her like trash. She didn't take shit. He liked that too.

He shook his head. _Back to reality, boy. _No way in hell would a punk rock, city girl like her be interested in a stupid, backwoods hick like him. So why did she talk to him? His defenses nagged him. Women never thought he was worth talking to. He guessed she realized that this morning.

He shouldn't have gotten so riled last night when she mentioned Merle.

He heard Sophia first. Screaming in terror. He jumped up. Her voice pierced the silence. It was coming from the woods between the lake and camp. Then Danni started swearing and yelling. It was Walkers. He couldn't see where she was but he followed the sound of her fight voice.


	16. Burning Bridges, Digging Ditches

**_don't make mistakes or be human_**

**_they savor your every false move_**

**_and the fear that they hide looking for a break_**

**_if ever confronted with truth_**

**_so if you want moral advice_**

**_I suggest you just tuck it all away_**

**_cause my mood to burn bridges_**

**_parallels my mood to dig ditches_**

**_don't cross me on neither a day, baby_**

**_-Neko Case_**

The sickening squelch of her trench knife sinking into the deteriorating face of what was once a teenage boy seemed louder than it had to be. Turning back, she impaled another snarling, rotting geek behind her. Skull crushing was harder than it looked; not all the Walker's heads were soft. Danni's hand and wrist were getting numb from hitting bone.

"Sophia, climb! Amy you too. Get up the tree, now!"

A small herd had surrounded them. The group of putrid, shuffling dead had appeared out of nowhere. It was impossible to get past them. Danni figured that if she, Sophia and Amy got high enough off the ground they'd be safe until their screams got the camp's attention. Walkers didn't have the coordination to scale anything. She hoped.

She had just enough time to boost Sophia up the thick tree trunk so that wiry little girl could climb the rest of the way to a sturdy branch at a safe height, before another Walker came from the left. She kicked, stunning it just long enough to raise her knife and ram it in the eye. _ God that stench!_ Sharp, excessively sweet perfume combined with rotting eggs. Danni had a stronger stomach that most but her gag reflex was working overtime. She clenched the knife between aching fingers; her grip was getting tired. She wasn't sure how long she could hold them off by herself_. Where is Amy? Not up the tree yet?_

"Shit! Amy climb the fucking tree; **now**! Come on!"

Fear paralyzed her. She was screaming, not moving. Danni pushed her. "Get up there!"

"I can't." Amy was sobbing.

"You **can!**"

Danni knew she'd have to climb herself then pull Amy up.

She grabbed a low branch and swung her legs up the side of the tree. She pulled herself over the branch and balanced on her stomach, reaching down for Amy."

"Come on, grab my hand!"

She gripped Amy's wrist and pulled, but Amy couldn't get traction on the tree with her feet. Danni heard Sophia's sobs above her and Amy's shrieks mixed with the rabid snarls of the dead below.

Sophia screamed when a Walker sunk its teeth into Amy' shoulder and ripped through the skin of her neck. Her hand went limp and slid from Danni's own.

Finally, one of Daryl's arrows pierced the brain of the Walker that was feasting on Amy below. Too little too late.

Daryl looked up at Danni and Sophia in the branches. _Smart move. _He gave Danni a quick nod of approval that also said "I got this." He retrieved his arrow then took aim at the next geek limping towards him.

Gunshots cracked the air. Rick and Shane had heard the screams and shouts. The rest of the camp members were running right behind them.

Shane put down the last attacker with a bullet between its eyes.

Carol screamed for her daughter. "Sophia! My God Sophia!"

"She's okay!" Daryl called to her and motioned up.

Carol fell to her knees with relief when she saw Sophia perched high above the danger. She was crying but she was alive.

Danni reached for Sophia, spotting her as she carefully lowered her into Rick's arms. Sophia raced over to her mother who held her tighter than she ever a had before.

Danni descended from her own branch then jumped to the ground.

She tried to catch her breath. She was shaking as her adrenaline dissipated.

Andrea's wail stopped them all, dead in their tracks. Glenn, Dale and T-Dog stood stock still, not knowing what to do. Lori held Carl. Daryl stared at the ground, kicking at a crumpled Walker, while Shane and Rick exchanged knowing glances. Carol and Sophia, still embracing, stared with pained faces at Andrea, standing over her sister's body.

Danni approached slowly, her stomach churning with guilt, horror and anxiety.

"Andrea, I'm...I'm so sorry. I tried to..."

"You **bitch**! You let them kill her!" Andrea whipped around and slapped Danni hard across the face.

"Whoa..." Rick tried to defuse the situation, but before he could get between the two women, Andrea took advantage of Danni's shock and pushed the stunned girl to the ground. She was about to start kicking Danni when Shane grabbed her waist and pulled her off. Andrea wrestled away from him.

"Get your hands off me! That sideshow freak whore killed my sister!"

Carol held Sophia's head closer, trying to keep her from hearing Andrea's barrage.

Then to Danni "You low life junkie! You** let **them kill her."

"Hey!" Shane stopped her. "Back off!"

"Then why are she and Sophia still alive but my sister dead? Huh?" Andrea shouted, looking around at everyone. "Answer me that!"

Daryl expected Danni to get up and go at Andrea at that point, but she remained on the ground, unable to look at anyone. Meanwhile, Andrea ran back to Amy's body and sank down beside it. She cried loudly into her dead sister's chest.

Daryl broke out of the stagnation they were experiencing. He made his way over to Danni and extended his hand to help her up. She ignored him and slowly rose to her feet on her own.

"You okay?" Rick asked Danni. Her face had drained of all color except for the angry red mark Andrea's hand left across her cheek.

"Need anything?" Shane sounded sincere.

She turned without answering either man and quickly walked away. She couldn't bear Andrea's choking sobs.

Watching Danni walk off in such a state of defeat enraged Daryl. He was sick of these people bitching and moaning. _ Danni saved Sophia. What the hell?_

"Stupid bitch! Daryl shouted over to Andrea after Danni had gone. "Shut yer damn trap and stop blubbering!"

"Daryl, Jesus! Shut up!" Rick tried to quiet him. Daryl turned to the group around him.

"It's that girls** own** damn fault she's dead. Danni tried to save her. Shit, she risked her **ass** for that girl. I saw it. "

Everyone was silent. He paced in front of them.

"Y'all know it, just don't like hearin' it. Blondie wasn't strong enough to make it. You can give somebody all the help in the world but if they don't help themselves then they** aint **gonna survive." He looked around. "It's the **damn** truth."

Before he stalked off, he motioned to Carol who was still clutching Sophia tightly. "That little girl's alive cause of Danni."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Danni wasn't supposed to be out in the woods playing death wish summer camp with a bunch of people she'd never choose to have in her life. She wasnt an expert at any of this. She'd been running on fear and adrenaline for the past week never mind the last hour and a half. She collapsed on her sleeping bag inside the hot metal shell of the Chevy van that had been like her apartment since all this began. She kept smelling the rusty pipe odor of dried blood.

She wasn't supposed to be responsible for anybody's safety but her own. She had based every life choice up until now on that premise. Never get married, never have kids, don't get attached. ** If you didn't let anyone in, then you couldn't let anyone down. ** Now she felt off balance. Andrea's attack flooded her with guilt. Maybe she hadn't done enough to help Amy. _Never should have climbed up before her._ She assumed everyone shared Andrea's opinion: that she was a selfish bitch who cared only about saving herself. She was not dependable out here. She was angry at herself for caring, but she knew why she did. Because somebody **else's** little sister was dead.

"Gonna lay there and feel sorry for yourself?" Daryl interrupted her thought.

"Yup."

"You let that blonde chick whoop your ass. Didn't expect you to just walk away from a fight."

"I got her sister killed."

"Bullshit. You did all you could. Some people wouldn't have done nuthin'. And you saved that little girl. Remember that."

Danni turned and pulled herself to a sitting position. She could look at him then, dream or no dream. She nodded about Sophia.

"Now get off your ass and help me burn some of them sons of bitches. "

"I can't face those people."

He didn't like seeing her this way.

"The hell you can't. What happened to fuck'em? Thought you didn't give a rat's ass about what they think."

"Amy's** dead** because of me. This is more than just..."

"Stupid bitch!" He couldn't help himself. He grabbed her shoulders."You didn't kill that girl!" His face was so close she felt his hot breath, smelled acrid dirt and his sour sweat. She didn't wrestle from his grip or give him hell for calling her a bitch. He stepped back scratching his head in frustration.

"This aint you."

"Oh, and you know me?"

He felt like she was letting him down personally. She wasn't keeping up her end of their unspoken bargain.

"Suit yourself." He muttered. "But if you keep this up, you'll be dead next. Self pity makes you weak."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Y'all know we can't just leave it like that." Daryl motioned down the embankment to where Andrea sat cradling Amy's head. He, Glenn, Shane, and T Dog had managed to pile the dead walkers at the edge of the forest for burning and had brought Amy's body closer to camp. Andrea had not left her side for a second.

The people around him remained silent.

"Ya'll can't be serious, let that woman hamstring us? That dead girl's a time bomb."

"What do you suggest?" Rick asked.

"Take the** shot**. Clean in the brain from here. Hell, I could hit a damn turkey between the eyes from this distance."

Before Rick could answer, Lori spoke up." For gods sake let her be. Let her mourn."

Daryl spit in frustration and stalked off in disgust. He headed to the tree line. He had Walkers to burn.

Before he reached the pile, he heard Glenn call him.

"Daryl, over here!"

He turned. Running in Glenn's direction,he saw Ed's body being ravaged by a Walker outside his and Carol's tent.

Still jogging, he grabbed a shovel from the ground and swung it hard enough to nearly decapitate the snarling creature. It was almost one fluid movement as he plunged the point of the shovel into its brain. He was about to do the same to Ed when Glenn stopped him.

"Wait! We need to tell Carol first."

"Why? So's we can have another bawling woman risking our lives by bein' sentimental? I don't** think** so."

"He was her husband! Let her see him first. He was one of our people."

"Our people? That abusive piece if shit excuse for a man?"

Glenn looked down.

"I don't believe this." Daryl muttered and walked away. If he was angry before he was furious now. None of these people were accepting reality.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Danni?"Sophia called softly. "Are you awake."

"Yeah hun, I am." Danni sat up and turned to see Carol and her daughter approaching. She had been laying curled up on her sleeping bag, desperately wishing she could listen to music, since Daryl left.

"We never got to do our manicure." Sophia held up the bottle of pink glitter nail polish. Her small face was stained with dried tears.

Danni almost started crying.

"Remember," Carol said firmly, "we can't forget pretty things."

Tears streamed down Danni's face. Sophia ran over and crawled into her lap. She hugged her saying "Not ever. Right?"

"Not ever, little bug." Danni squeezed her.

When Danni looked up Carol mouthed "thank you" wiping her away her own tears.

"Well, lets get started." Danni put on her bravest voice. "Mom too?"

"Yes mom too!" Sophia actually giggled. They** needed** to hear that sound.

As she, Carol and Sophia sat, painting each other's nails, Danni started to gather confidence. She needed to figure out her next move. She figured there were only three options in front of her:

1. Accompany the group, including Andrea, to the CDC.

2. She assumed Daryl would be making his break from the group tomorrow. She could ask him to take her along.

3. She could try to make it on her own.

It was time to make a pro con list.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

The sun was getting low, the sky orange and pink, when Danni found him sitting on the hood of his pickup, chewing on his thumbnail. Daryl was as grimy, sweaty and exhausted as she'd ever seen him. He had spent the last two hours hauling and burning dead Walkers in the oppressive heat and humidity.

"Those people are stupid. Gonna get us all killed." He said as she approached. He felt a surge of relief when he spotted her walking towards him. He had calmed down since their last conversation, glad to see she wasn't sitting around feeling sorry for herself any more.

"You know about the move tomorrow?" She asked. He thought she sounded tired, but like herself again.

There was no reference to their earlier confrontation. What's done is done. If you can't take something back, move on.

"That Rick's idea?

She nodded. "To the CDC. Are you coming?"

He shrugged. "Been thinking I'd go it alone."

"I thought so." She paused, then added, "I want to go with you."

"Why?"

"His question threw her. She figured he'd give her a straight yes or no.

"Well, If you care anything about me at all you'd want me go with you."

"What makes you think I care about you?"

She stammered. "I don't mean care like** care**...I mean, if you like me at all..." She stopped again, her brows furrowed. She knew she sounded like a smitten teenager. "Not l**ike**,..."

He enjoyed seeing her get flustered. She moved back and forth nervously from one booted foot to the other. She anxiously twisted strands of her hair, which she 'd left down, around her fore finger.

She continued, trying again to find the right words. "If you think of me as the sort of person you can occasionally stand to talk to..."

He stared at her without saying a word. He wasn't glaring, he was almost smiling. All of a sudden she realized he was getting off on this. It infuriated her.

She stamped her foot, her dark eyes flashing anger.

"You know what, never mind! I don't care what you do. I don't even know what I'm saying; remember, you gave me a concussion the other day, so..."

"Low blow, girl."

"Do what ever you want. I have to pack."

"Send me a postcard."

"You're not worth wasting a stamp on!"

_Damn it, she got the last word in_. He was keeping score. It was okay this time; seeing her riled up like that meant things were getting back to normal. Except for one thing:

She wanted to go with** him? **_What the hell is she thinking? _


	17. There's A First time For Everything

****The title gives it away. Yes, this is the chapter you've all been waiting for...enough of this slow burn ;)**

***Can't say thanks enough to you readers and followers.**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooo**

**_Moment of honesty _**

**_Someone's gotta take the lead tonight _**

**_Whose it gonna be? _**

**_I'm gonna sit right here _**

**_And tell you all that comes to me _**

**_If you have something to say _**

**_You should say it right now_**

**_You give me a feeling that I never felt before _**

**_And I deserve it, I think I deserve it _**

**_It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore _**

**_And I can't take it _**

**_I was wondering maybe _**

**_Could I make you my baby _**

**_If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy _**

**_If you ask me I'm ready_**

**_Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually? _**

**_If we gon' do something 'bout it _**

**_We should do it right now _**

**_-Alicia Keyes_**

The thick white candle she'd salvaged from her train case burned warmly. The moon hadn't entirely traded places with the sun yet, but she wanted the candle's comforting, cozy glow inside the van as dusk grew near. The constant sound of crickets and cicada was abruptly disrupted by a single gunshot splintering the air. It was the first since that morning. _Amy._ She realized. _ Finally. _

Exhausted from the clusterfuck of a day, Danni sat cross-legged on her sleeping bag with her journal and tarot cards, as if she were in her own bedroom. Touring with a band gave her the ability to create a home like atmosphere just about anywhere. She read the tarot spread from earlier that morning and applied it to the day.

Death: self-explanatory. She nudged Amy's image from her mind. It had haunted her for hours.

10 of Swords: a situation ending; not much need for interpretation there. The camp was disbanding tomorrow.

7 of Wands reversed: A battle lost through indecision. Okay, so she** had** to make her choice about what to do next. Her three options weighed on her mind. Going with Daryl wasn't off the table yet. He hadn't exactly said no to her earlier. Otherwise, she could stick with the group or go it alone. Time to overcome indecision

Putting the journal aside, she unwrapped the tarot cards. She kept the deck covered by a piece of black silk to prevent all energy and vibration from invading them while they were not in use.

Danni engaged the ritual; removing the cards from their cloth, readying them to accept her energy by holding them to her chest, breathing deeply and focusing on her query. It came back to her so easily. It was second nature. Nana Brigid would be proud.

She shuffled and cut the deck into three stacks. The pile to the left represents recent past, the center indicates current situation and to the right, future outcome. All she needed now was the current situation card. She took the top one from the center deck and turned it over. Strength. A Major Arcana card. She studied the image of a maiden in white holding open the jaws of a lion. She knew there was more to this card than merely finding fortitude. She dug out the book of tarot stories, she'd also been left by Brigid. It details the entire life journey of the Fool pointing out each of his lessons in parables. The old book had served as her bedtime stories when she was a little girl. She flipped through until she found Strength. Twirling a long strand of blue-black hair around her finger, she began reading.

_Strength:_

_The Fool, victorious over his enemies, feels arrogant, powerful and vengeful. He finds himself unable and unwilling to control his passions. He comes across a maiden struggling with a lion. Running to help, he arrives in time to see her gently, but firmly shut the lion's mouth! The beast, which seemed so wild and fierce, is now completely at her command._

_Amazed, the Fool asks her, "How did you do that?" One hand on the lion's mane, she answers, "I asked the lion to do it, and it did it."_

_"Why did it want to obey?" The Fool asks. At that moment, the Maiden meets the Fool's eyes; he sees in her warmth, gentleness, a heart so great that its generosity seems as infinite as its willingness to understand. That is when the Fool understands exactly why the lion did her bidding._

_It wanted to connect to her higher energy._

_Yet there is still one thing that confuses the Fool. "Why would you, fair maiden, want to keep company with a beast?"_

_"Because he, also, is filled with a wonderful energy." The Maiden says. "It is wild and fierce, but it can be banked, like a fire in a hearth. I knew if he would take direction from me, we could both be warmed.__" She continued. "So too are our passions. Let them run wild and they will do damage. But we can, with gentle fortitude, check and direct those passions. In doing so, we can get much more out of them. And yet, still sate them."_

_His rage had quieted. The enlightened Fool walks away knowing that it wasn't only the lion that was tamed this day by a Maiden's pure and innocent strength. _

_Do not forget, however, that the maiden also sees something wonderful in the lion. She doesn't want to erase the lion or make it other than a lion, but she can see that the lion's energy is being wasted. She is moved to tame it so that they can both benefit. _

Danni had her answer_. _She couldn't leave with Daryl and she shouldn't go off alone. Those were impulsive, emotionally driven choices. It was clear she had to follow the most difficult, but practical path. It was two-fold: she must stay with the group, including Andrea and she needed to persuade Daryl to come with them.

She contemplated the cards literal indications; they reinforced what she already knew.

Strength indicates this is not a time to act out in rage or in hatred but instead to look at the situation from a place of love and compassion. _Andrea_. If you have doubted yourself the Strength card gives you the confidence to fight those doubts. Additionally, if you are feeling worn out or stressed, Strength tells you are going to find the strength within yourself **and within others **to keep going. When Strength appears in a Tarot reading, be assured that you have enough.

Her Nan would have added that as with fire or taming a lion, one might get burned or scratched a few times by that which one is trying to understand, be it a situation, a person.

_What else?_ The card can also stand for a steadfast friend and represents Leo in astrology.

She sighed, absorbing the complex message.

She remembered the tequila in Luke's duffel bag. She'd been saving it for a time when she really needed it. _That's pretty much now. _

She opened the Cuervo with no argument from herself. She took a swig. She wished she had lime and salt. Luxury problem. Burning, flash of nausea, then calm.

_"I've got a bottle of tequila baby who needs friends, I got a bottle of tequila baby who needs friends, got a hundred miles of desert, got a head of fresh air and I know a hundred games of solitaire."_ She sang softly, and took another shot. That Concrete Blonde song was always in her head when Jose came out to play.

Was she finished playing solitaire? Remaining with the group meant solidifying her relationship with these people. The reality terrified her. Befriending Daryl was one thing. She'd always been fine hanging out with guys. But the rest of the group? _Alone in a crowd_. She sat, much like she had that very first day, the week before, in her van, drinking, reluctantly comprehending that she needed people. She wanted a third shot of tequila, but screwed the cap back on. She didn't want to get drunk; she needed just enough liquor to keep her honest; to allow her to open up and trust her feelings.

She wrapped the cards, blew out the candle and hopped down to walk the short distance to where Glenn, Dale and T-Dog sat by the fire.

She hadn't seen or spoken to anyone other than Carol, Sophia and Daryl since Andrea confronted her that morning.

Danni inhaled deeply. It was easier to tolerate the anxious churning in her gut when mixed with tequila. _Do these people hate me, blame me?_

_"_Hey, sorry I've been MIA, I just couldn't"_ be honest "_face you guys."

She stood nervously pulling at the hem of her Motorhead t-shirt.

"Why not?" Glenn spoke first, sounding genuinely confused.

Dale answered her questions. "Look, Danni, if this is about Amy,** no body** blames you for what happened."

"Andrea does."

"Andrea is in a state of shock. I know she didn't mean the things she said to you earlier She's not doing so great now. She's asleep in the RV. It may be difficult, but you need to go easy on her."

"She called me a lowlife junkie."

"Yes, she** did,** but believe me no one thinks that about you." Dale clarified.

"She called me a sideshow freak whore"

"Yes, she **did**..."

Danni was the first to start laughing, realizing how absurd the name calling sounded.

Glenn and Dale couldn't help but chuckle as well.

"Girl you was **served** by Andrea today. T-Dog had to admit.

"Danni, what happened to Amy was horrible. We all wish it had been different." Glenn said when the laughter died down. "You saved Sophia."

"Why don't you have a seat with us?" Dale offered.

"Thanks but there's some things I need to do. By the way, what time are we moving out tomorrow?"

"Early." Glenn smiled, glad she'd be joining them.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooo

"Hey, girl, you doin' okay?" Shane approached Danni on her way to see Rick and Lori, who were next on the list. She had to make sure they were holding a place for her tomorrow.

"Yeah, I am now."

He nodded "Good, that's good, 'cause you know none of us around here blame you for what happened to Amy right?"

She nodded.

"It's a hard thing to carry, feeling responsible for somebody dyin'. Believe me. But you did all you could. I know that. You're someone we can count on."

"Shane, thanks for today, helping me out."

"Any time."

He was always kind to her. Ever since the day when she'd shown him her shooting abilities. She gave him credit. She knew he hadn't come across too many women like her. Still, she never forgot for a second that he was a cop.

He walked with her the short distance to Rick and Lori's tent.

"Danni, hey, you know everybody's worried about you?" Rick said as he saw she approach with Shane.

"Shouldn't be, I just had to get my head around today. I'm a lot better now."

Lori added. "No one blames you for anything. And those things Andrea said, well, just forget them."

"Andrea blames me." Danni repeated.

"She's upset, she'll be okay. She'll **have** to be." Rick reassured her. "You ready to move out tomorrow?" He brought the subject up for her.

"Just about."

"Enough fuel?" Because we can siphon more from that sports car."

Rick did not want to have to combine vehicles until it was necessary. They provided not only transportation, but also storage, supplies and shelter if necessary. So far they were having luck siphoning gas from abandoned cars on the highway.

"No, I'm good."

"One more thing. Daryl told me he's not coming."

"Good." Shane commented.

"Shane I know we disagree on this."

"Let him go off on his own. He don't fit in here. He's a hot head troublemaker no better than that scum bag brother of his was. Why are you so hot to have him with us?" Shane argued.

"Look, he's a human being. I do not want to be responsible for anyone else dying. Merle was my fault. Now Amy's gone. No one else."

"It's a mistake Rick. It's a foolish mistake. You are asking for trouble."

"Daryl is part of this group Shane. Whether you like it or not. He contributes food, he risked his life for Danni and Sophia today. For all of us."

Shane shook his head.

"Danni, maybe you could talk to him?" Rick asked.

"Why me?"

"Because he seems to act differently around you. He just might listen to you."

"Waste of time." Shane commented.

She had planned to make her own case to Daryl for joining them; she was unsure whether making one for Rick could help or hurt her chances of getting him to agree.

She nodded. He was next on her list anyway.

As she started off to Daryl's tent she thought, _ lion tamer._ _Should have had that third tequila shot to put the butterflies to sleep. _

Daryl had set up on the rear side of the camp, a little further back than the others, in front of his truck. He had made an area for skinning the animals he'd hunted. It was obvious he'd lived this way before.

She saw the glow of a lantern inside the tent.

"Daryl," she called.

"Hell you want?" He asked from inside.

"Rick asked me to talk to you about something."

"Jesus, I just can't get away from those people."

She waited, but he didn't emerge, so she walked over to the olive drab surplus tent and pulled back the entrance flap. He was inside making bolts for his crossbow out of fiberglass tent poles he had scavenged from camper trucks on the highway. He'd cut them down and was filing the ends to accommodate the field tip.

Danni sat next to him on his sleeping bag. "Busy?"

"So what does officer Rick want?" He asked without looking up from the bolts.

"Everybody to go to the CDC. The whole group."

He was silent.

"That includes you."

"You sure 'bout that?"

"Yes, and so is Rick."

"Rick. What does he know? Bossing everybody around, giving orders acting like he's in charge. **Nobody's** in charge of me."

Remembering their earlier conversation he asked,"What about what you said today? Me and you just get out of here."

He put the poles and file aside. "Might not be so bad."

He had reached his limit with what he felt was a weak, stupid, disorganized assortment of people just waiting to be killed.

Her stomach flipped when he said it and she felt a measure of pride. They'd helped eachother through several intense situations in a relatively short amount time. As much as she wanted to just run away from all of this with him, she knew it was not supposed to happen that way.

"I know what I said earlier but..."

"What, You don't want to go with me? Is that it? You suddenly one of them? Too good for me now, huh? " He bombarded her with questions, feeling stupid for asking her. Of course she'd changed her mind._ Look at me,_ he thought.

"I didn't say that!" She hit his chest with her fists and pushed him as if it would stop his defensive questioning

He wouldn't let her pull her hands back; he squeezed her wrists and his sudden burst of anger subsided. She felt a little light-headed when he grabbed her that way.

"I'll go myself." He stated.

She took her hands back, massaging her wrists to restart circulation.

"Daryl if anybody can make alone its you."

"Got that right."

"But you don't have to. Forget Rick.** I **want you to come."

He avoided her gaze.

She circled the subject. "Don't you think Rick and Lori are lucky? They have each other to depend on. They're not going through this hell alone."

He shook his head. Still stinging from her rejection his voice was angry and dismissive. "They ain't lucky, they're likely to bring each other down. When you start caring you start making dumb ass decisions. Better on your own looking out for yourself. Like us. Not attached; nobody else to worry about. Just kill as many of those damn things as you can and survive. Lighter you travel, farther you go."

"That's how I've lived my whole life." She said. "Now I'm wondering if its such a good idea."

"Your only saying that 'cause your scared. Today shook you."

" I feel like its different now. Being alone is harder. Rick and Lori will never be alone."

"Until one of them gets the other killed for being stupid."

"Don't say that."

"Its reality girl, get used to it."

They were silent for a long time. Finally, she spoke. "Why are you only nice to me?"

He looked at her sideways. "Hell you mean by that?"

"You don't talk to anybody else, and remember there was that time with Ed?"

He remembered. She went on, "I can't believe you **carried** me back from Atlanta." She hesitated, but added, "Merle at the lake." _It was a damned list._

More silence.

"Daryl, no one's** ever **done stuff like that for me. Ever."

Finally he answered. "Guess I don't mind you much cause you don't talk a lot of shit and you aint stupid. Now I think I might be changing my mind 'bout that."

"I should shut up now?"

"Yeah you should. Girl, you got tongue enough for ten rows of teeth tonight. "

She looked over at him in the soft glow of the lantern and remembered her dream from the night before. She imagined moving on to his lap, gripping his shoulders and kissing him. Just to see what it would be like.

"What are you looking at?" He asked huskily, not gruffly, as she stared into his eyes.

She touched his hand. He immediately pulled it back.

"Daryl, what's wrong?"

"Nothin."

She leaned in and kissed him gently. His lips were softer than she expected. She hadn't planned it, but she had enough of a tequila buzz for impulsive behavior. He didn't return the kiss.

"What did ya do that for?" His face reddened with embarrassment and he moved away from her.

" I just wanted to know what it would feel like. "

"Hell, kind of reason is that?"

She felt foolish, liquor or no liquor. He could sound so mean when he wanted to. He was pushing and pulling, causing her to read his signals wrong. Again. Her cheeks flushed pink.

She got up quickly. She'd never initiated anything physical with him before. How would she face him after this?_ This was no dream. Dumb move. _"Sorry. I'm sorry, okay?"

"Stop sayin' that." He sounded nervous. Agitated, he motioned for her to sit back down. He smelled wild honeysuckle when she was close.

"Is there something wrong with me?" She asked. " I know that I'm not everybody's type-I don't want to be. But, it just seems like you don't mind what I look like."

_Don't mind, hell, I like it._

_"_Sometimes it feels like you might even like it. Like **me**._" _

_Reading my mind now?_

"There aint nothing wrong with you." He was sorry that she thought so.

"You're the prettiest god damned girl I've ever seen." He felt like an idiot for saying it that way. He'd never been good with words., least of all compliments.

He shook his head waiting for her to laugh.

No one had ever said anything that sweet or that** real **to her before.

"Can I kiss you again?"

He shrugged, trying to look non chalant not nervous. He felt panicky, his heart was pounding.

_He's afraid. S_he realized

If he was afraid, then she could be brave. She knew what to do.

When their lips came together this time, he kissed her back awkwardly, close-mouthed. Again, he pulled away.

"This is a bad idea. You don't wanna do this." His voice was low, almost a growl.

"Do **you** want to?"

He was silent.

"Don't tell me what I want, tell me what** you** want."

"I 'm no good at this stuff."

"Didn't answer my question Daryl."

"Yeah." He choked. "I want to."

As she moved her arms around his neck he let her pull him close. He allowed her mouth back on his. When she thrust her tongue between his teeth to meet his own, any self-control he planned to exert deserted him. He stopped thinking and let his body take over. He kissed her forcefully, scratching her soft cheeks with the scruff on his chin. She took his lower lip gently between her teeth. That's when he let his tongue explore her mouth, and he got the hang of breathless, open-mouthed, greedy kisses.

"Okay?" She asked huskily.

_Nothing like the girls back home. _

He was doing fine if he kept his mind out of it. They kissed for a while, still somewhat awkwardly, but mutually. He moved his lips to her long delicate neck, lightly sucking on the tender pale skin he liked so much, sending shudders throughout her body that left her thighs tingling. When his mouth was close to her ear, she hoped he'd lick it and run his tongue in and out, but he stopped and went back to her mouth. Eventually Danni came up for air.

She didn't want to push him. "We can stop now, if you want."

"That what you want?"

_Back to this,_ she thought.

_"_Honestly, no_."_

He nodded, glad she'd said that.

She lowered herself carefully down to his sleeping bag,and lay on her back, exposing her body to him. He swallowed hard, then shifted his weight down so that he was laying on his side facing her, leaning on one elbow. He hesitantly put a hand under her shirt and waited for a second, but she didn't protest or move away. She wasn't wearing a bra. Her breasts were on the small side but well-shaped. He squeezed gently, then harder. He was rough, not used to this sort of contact. She flinched.

"Shit I'm sorry." He stopped, unsure where to put his hands next.

"Its okay." She pulled her shirt off, giving him the permission he seemed to need." Really."

_The sparrows._

He got up and bent over her keeping her thighs between his knees. He had wanted to feel the tattoos since the first day he saw them.

"Can I touch 'em?"

"Uh huh,"

He placed his fingers gently on the light blue painted birds on either side of her navel ring.

He traced them peeking out above her shorts. As he let his fingers linger on the ink, he heard her catch her breath. He wanted to kiss them, put his mouth on her delicate hip bones, always visible just above her belt, teasing him daily. He was unsure if she'd want that. _Stop thinking._

He began to stroke the smooth, warm skin of her inner thigh as softly as he could laying back down. She nibbled his neck and licked around his ear. He groaned a little and she felt him hard against her leg.

Realizing it himself, Daryl moved back. She tried to pull him down, but he resisted, straddling her from above. Could he trust her not to humiliate him? So far she'd been making things okay; everything was easier with her, why not this?

"You don't have to be tough all the time, you know." She said softly.

She slipped her hands under his shirt urging him to pull it off. He hesitated; he'd never felt a woman's skin against his own but the thought of her bare flesh touching his caused such nervous excitement that when she sat up he let her push the dirty sleeveless thermal up and over his head. The heat of their flesh meeting overwhelmed him and he pushed her back down. _This is really gonna happen _he thought_ as _she unbuckled his belt. She opened his pants, freeing his hardened member. He tensed as she took him in her hands, but slowly relaxed into her light caress. _Fuck, I have no idea what I'm doing. This ain't nothing like **my** hand, she's... she feels so good...fucking hell. _She heard his breath hitch and small grunts escaped him. Letting him go for a moment, she placed his hands on her hips. She unbuttoned her own denim cut offs and looped his fingers inside the waist band of both her shorts and panties directing him to pull down so she could shimmy out of them. Kissing him breathlessly, she took another second to kick off her boots. He grunted approval when her hand returned to stroking him, faster now, more deliberate. She could tell he was ready. Not wanting to make him wait too long, she began to guide him between her legs.

"You sure about this?" he rasped into her ear. "I aint done nothin' for you." He knew there was something, just wasn't exactly sure what. Yet.

Danni just nodded licking his neck.

_Good cause I don't think I can stop now._

He reached up behind her to Merle's pack still sitting in the corner. He grabbed a condom. _Good old Merle always had a supply of rubbers even if he forgot to use 'em most of the time._ He realized Merle would never touch Danni like this. Never abuse her and treat her like dirt. Never **have** her. The thought excited him; he roughly kissed her with suffocating force. She surprised him by taking the condom. She brought the rubber over his tip and slowly massaged it down the length of his shaft increasing his arousal. He mustered his self-control. He didn't want this to go wrong. He willed himself to slow down. He was not that kid anymore.

She took him, finally directing him inside, helping him at first, then he began to enter easily on his own. As he hesitantly pushed foward, a low breathy moan escaped her, causing him to lose control and he plunged in hard. He'd never felt anything like her before. He wanted to keep moving further inside, as far as possible.

She bent her knees at his waist and pushed her pelvis up to meet his, making it easier for him to go deeper and for her to feel him against her most sensitive spot. She placed his hand under the small of her back to keep herself steady beneath him. He began to thrust, feeling her tighten around his width. The friction made him speed up considerably.

His movement was rough, bullish and a little jerky as he repeatedly pushed harder into her. His hips moved on their own now, awkwardly thrusting down and Daryl was afraid he was going to hurt her but the tightening in his groin grew by the minute and he couldn't stop if he wanted to. Danni felt like he could break her in two but she'd die if he stopped.

"Wait, not so fast." She gasped, her breath uneven, clutching the hair over his ears.

He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek. He didn't want this to end yet.

She felt him struggling with his pace so she contracted her muscles around him, keeping their movements together.

"Wait." She ordered again, gently. As he felt her tighten around him, he followed her lead and they developed a slower, steadier rhythm. If he sped up, she tempered him with inner compression.

She wanted him on top, sheltering her protectively. Her whole life she'd been tough and self-reliant. She needed him to secure her in this most vulnerable moment. She rarely had orgasms unless she was on top, but now she didn't care. All she wanted was to feel Daryl on her and inside her. _It is not sex that gives us pleasure, but the lover._ One of her collected quotations.

She drew him close, tasting his salty sweat, lost in his deliberate thrusting. His ragged breathing was peppered with husky grunts he couldn't restrain. The warm, familiar, waves swelling from below caught her completely by surprise. She pushed up, writhing against him desperate to increase the warm tingling. The unanticipated pleasure sweetened her climax. Her toes curled and she knew she was digging her nails into his arms. Her vision blurred as the surge rushed her, flooded her and she couldn't do anything but yield completely.

He heard her gasp and sigh and as she squeezed her legs tightly around him, repeat his name over and over. He loved hearing her say it with such desperation. He remained constant, hoping to god he could keep making her feel like this. She was bending to him. Her body grew rigid, then limp repeatedly. The rough, rolling sea inside her began to quiet. It was short, but intense. She could barely get the words out. "Now you." She smiled shyly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She breathed the word into his ear. He focused on his own release.

"Aww fuck…" he groaned, unable to help himself, feeling the coil in his stomach just about to unravel. His muscles tensed and heat raced to his pelvis. His arms trembled as he held himself steady over her; he'd never felt anything like it. She no longer tried to temper his pace and he couldn't if he tried, not that he wanted to. It didn't take long before he came hard, joining her in a rolling sea of his own. He pumped into her four times and with a shudder, let his full weight almost crush her. She needed his heaviness. They held tight, breathing hotly into each others necks, sweating, bodies spent. She thought she might love him.

He rolled off her. She touched his chest and waited for him to put his arms around her. He didn't.

His silence twisted her gut. She knew he was somewhere else again.

He began to dress his making sure his back faced away from her; she pulled on her shorts and t-shirt.

"Where are you going?" Danni asked, shocked that he was gathering himself up to leave. "Its the middle of the night."

He was already overwhelmed and chose not to listen to the pain in her voice.

"I gotta go." His voice was gravel.

"Now? Your kidding right?

"Hell, ya** want** from me Danni?" It came out harsher than he meant. Seeing her face shatter was too much for him. He left the tent without another word. He was gone. "God damn him!" she yelled as loudly as she could not caring if anyone else heard.

She refused to cry. She was an expert at holding back tears. Better than Daryl, she thought ironically. But as she pulled on her boots, the ones **he** had given her, she broke down. She breathed in deeply to calm herself. She walked back to her van alone in the dark.

In taming a lion, you might get scratched a few times.


	18. Damage Control

_**Love all you readers and followers xxoo- thanks so much for sticking with the story! Welcome to new followers!**_

_**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo**_

_**Tell me why you broke**_

_**Tell me 'cause I'm nervous and love**_  
_**I've been thinking less**_  
_**I've been thinking out loud... to prayers**_  
_**Tell me where we are**_  
_**Tell me 'cause we never get far**_

_**And I've tried my only hand**_  
_**And I've tried to keep it simple**_  
_**You just couldn't understand**_

_**I've been holding back**_  
_**I've been holding pieces entrapped**_  
_**I don't know what's wrong**_  
_**I don't know my reasons**_  
_**So long**_  
_**Hope has left me here**_  
_**Hope has left me wonderin'**_  
_**And I feel**_

_**And I'm s'pposed to be so free**_  
_**And the darkness pulls me over**_  
_**Why did it have to be me?**_

_**I can't speak my mind**_  
_**I can't even speak**_  
_**I'm fine**_  
_**Tell me why'd you go**_  
_**Tell me 'cause I'm nervous**_  
_**Take it slow**_

_**I don't see you wait**_  
_**I don't see you coming**_  
_**It's a dream**_

_**And it's falling off of it**_  
_**Thought I'd never have to face it**_  
_**Something hard is here in still**_

**_-J Mascis_**

She angrily shoved clothes into her black canvas duffel bag. She was wide awake to see her companion, dawn, again not having slept the rest of the night not only so she wouldn't dream, but also, so she'd be awake if Daryl came back. He didn't. This wasn't fun anymore. Their relationship had progressed from the compelling, nerve-racking but delicious tension of tentative friendship to the destructive despair of caring too much. Danni never meant for it to go this far. She truly doubted her interpretation of the Strength card. She wanted to trust the message but it was almost impossible as her emotions flooded her, drowning her common sense like the Mississippi wiping out small towns in springtime. _What was I thinking? I'm no good at this stuff. _ Nana Brigid was wrong. Gift? Bullshit, if she had anything it was a curse; a curse that did nothing but guarantee vulnerability. Her raw emotions taunted her, daring her to do something stupid to numb her pain.

It was almost time for the group to move out. She changed into her black jeans and fitting white Minor Threat t-shirt. Her black bra was teasingly visible under the worn cotton shirt. She pulled her boots on trying not to think of him.

She closed the duffel bag a last time. She was ready to move on. Again. She couldn't keep Daryl out of her thoughts for long. _That son of a bitch. _Part of her believed he'd show up at the last-minute. She shook her head. Time to accept that she'd been wrong about him. He'd played her like any man would have and she **let **him. He got what he wanted; hell, she handed herself over to him last night. He hadn't merely scratched her, he'd delivered a fatal wound. _I let him. _

She noticed something silver under the van's front seat. She crawled forward, reaching under to find her ipod. She hadn't seen it since the first day she'd been alone on the highway. Before ..." It lit up when she pressed the center, shocking her that it still had power. She put in the ear buds and the last song she'd listened to "Crazy Blues" continued to play from where she'd stopped it.

_He makes me feel so blue_

_I don't know what to do_

_Sometime I sit and sigh_

_And then begin to cry_

_'Cause my best friend_

_Said his last goodby_

_Now I can read his letters_

_I sure can't read his mind_

_I thought he's lovin' me_

_He's leavin' all the time_

_Now I see my poor love was blind_

Daryl hadn't said goodbye. She guessed she wasn't even worth that.

She ripped the ear buds out and thew the ipod as hard as she could to watch it smash in pieces against the nearest tree.

"Hate to know what that tree did to you, girl." Shane commented as he and Rick approached.

"Yeah, you would." She answered not in the mood to joke around.

"Any luck with Daryl last night?" Rick asked her as she was shutting the doors on the van. "I haven't seen him this morning and he hasn't packed anything. His tent's still up." Rick looked so natural in his tan, regulation issue sheriffs uniform by this time that she felt he'd look more out-of-place without it.

"I didn't find him. He's probably out hunting." She lied.

"Well, we tried." Rick sighed. He couldn't worry about one person when he had a group to protect.

"Hey girl, what are all those red marks on your neck?" Shane asked. "You sure you didn't find that good for nothing prick. Looks like he might have tried to throttle you or something."

Danni bristled. "**No,** I ran into some branches while I searched around for him. Didn't see, walked right into them." She knew she sounded too defensive.

"All right, all right, just looking out for you is all." Shane's words made her feel lonelier than she had in a long time.

"No need." She smiled weakly. _You're the wrong guy._

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_

Within the hour, Rick directed everyone to drive their vehicles to the top of the access road that led out to the highway. He'd given them all his last instructions. He and Shane studied the map one final time with Dale. Danni caught Andrea glaring at her. _That's all I need now._

The rest of the group nervously waited for the journey to begin.

Sophia approached Danni as she leaned back against the van, trying not to think about Andrea, Daryl, any of it. She was happy to see the child.

"Hey, bug, what's up?" Danni asked.

Sophia was quiet. Finally she spoke. "Danni, is it okay that I'm not sad about my daddy being gone."

"Yes, it is okay."

She looked relieved.

"He wasn't always so nice to your mom and you was he?"

She shook her head.

"Mine wasn't either. I'm glad_ he'_s gone,"

"Really?"

Danni crouched down. "Yes. I had a bunch of bad dads, sweetie."

Sophia took a deep breath and nodded, almost too seriously for a girl her age.

"Hun, its okay to feel anything as long as its** true**. Whatever you feel is yours, no one can take it away from you or tell you its wrong. Okay?" She tenderly pushed the hair back from Sophia's eyes. "Trust yourself Tara."

"Who's Tara?" Sophia asked.

"What?"

"You just called me Tara."

"I did? Oh, just someone I used to know. You remind me of her, I guess." Danni said quickly. _Hold fast Tara. _She blinked rapidly, keeping tears back.

Sophia then asked, "Is Daryl your boyfriend?"

"Why would you think that?"

"He kind of acts like it."

Danni gave a pained smile. "No, he's not. Why?"

"My mom says he's gone. He's not coming with us and that you'll be sad about it. I don't want you to be sad."

"**You're** coming, right?"

She nodded again.

"Then how could I be sad?"

Danni picked Sophia up in a hug and spun around until the little girl laughed.

A few feet away, Shane watched Rick and Lori talking before getting into Carol's Cherokee wagon. Their bodies were close, the conversation intimate. When she kissed him and held him tightly Shane felt the bile rise, feeling jealous, right or wrong. He couldn't stop staring, feeling more angry and alone each time he saw them together, especially when she smiled. After everything he did for Lori and Carl, her rejection infuriated and tore at his heart. What they **did,** what they **had**, meant nothing to her._ Woman's rubbing my face it. _

Finally,_ t_he vehicles moved out single file. The RV took the lead, Dale insisted; Glenn rode beside him with the map and Andrea in back. The Cherokee followed with the families, Rick's along with Carol and Sophia, T-Dog drove his Church group's minivan, the one he'd arrived in, followed by Danni with Shane bringing up the rear in his jeep. They looked to Rick for direction, because they could.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Danni stared at her knuckles as they gripped the steering wheel. She read the letters tattooed above them in thick script. "Hold" on her right hand, "Fast" on her left. She'd had the words inked there to forever remind her to do just that. _I'm trying so hard but I think I might be falling apart_.

She hadn't been driving much longer, when the engine started to rattle loudly. "Not now!" she almost cried. Smoke began to pour from under the hood. She pulled over into the breakdown lane, and got out but didn't open the hood or attempt to figure out what was wrong. **Hayes** took care of the van. She never did anything to it but change a tire. This was more than a flat tire. She started kicking the dirty, white side panel.  
"Stupid piece of shit!" She yelled, putting more dents into the vehicle with her foot.

"I give up!" She shouted to the universe. She opened passenger door and pulled the tequila from her bag.

She took a swig from the bottle.

Shane was driving up, right behind her. He saw her angrily kicking her van, swinging a bottle of tequila and, he figured, cussing up a storm. Quite a site.

He contacted Rick on the walkie-talkie to let him know about the engine trouble, that he had it covered and they'd catch up.

"Who's winning?" Shane asked slowly walking toward her.

She ignored him.

"Might as well put your stuff in my jeep. That old thing's dead on the road."

She sighed knowing he was right._ What else can I lose?_

The side door creaked with rust when she pulled it open. She looked at the stenciled letters spray painted white on the black instrument cases and amplifiers she couldn't bring with her: "Drunken Angel." The band had been her existence for the past 2 1/2 years. What would she be if she wasn't the singer for Drunken Angel anymore?

"It's just stuff." Shane noticed her hesitation. "Best travel light from now on." She shivered despite the heat, when he used Daryl's words.

As she settled in to his passenger seat, she sipped from the bottle.

"Pass that over."

"Drinking and driving officer?"

"Gonna report me?"

They sat for a couple of minutes in silence, drinking, feeling dispossessed and brooding on their own respective emptiness.

He glanced over, noticing her black bra under the tight threadbare t-shirt.

When he put his hand on her thigh, the alcohol and pain of Daryl's rejection dulled her instinct to belt him across the face She knew exactly what Shane wanted. Yesterday she would have pulled her knife on him, but today she didn't even push his hand away. He moved it further down, between her legs, fingering her crotch over her pants.

He was over confident and had an alpha male way of exerting complete control over the situation. She knew his type. She couldn't care anymore.

She took another drink as he steadily rubbed her between her legs with the palm of his hand.

_Fuck Lori._ He thought. He remembered her kissing Rick; holding him. _Ungrateful bitch_.

He pulled his seat back as far as it would go. "Come here, girl." He drawled thickly, ordering her to straddle him.

Her mind felt numb. She got on his lap, facing him. He forcefully pushed up her shirt and bra and moved his hands roughly over her breasts. She grasped his solid shoulders to steady herself.

She felt him growing hard beneath her.

_This aint you_. She ignored Daryl's voice in her head.

Shane focused intently on kissing her, holding the sides of her face tightly, keeping it right where he wanted it. He grabbed a handful of her hair, winding his fingers around in it and tugging. He yanked her head back and somehow, just by the way he touched her, he made Danni's mouth open to take his tongue, he made her eyes close, made her breathe faster and faster until she felt so dizzy she thought she might black out. She didn't want him, but when he slowly ran his thumbs over her nipples with increasing pressure, she caught her breath and started to grind against him.

"That's it, baby girl, just like that." He encouraged, voice low, breath hot on her neck. "Right there, move yourself. Feels real good don't it."

Her body responded whether her mind wanted it to or not.

When he touched the sparrows, she tensed, thinking of Daryl. Shane didn't ask, just grabbed her hips pulling her down harder on his throbbing groin. He unbuckled her belt. Why wasn't she stopping him? He opened her jeans and slid his hand down the front of her panties. He gave a low, throaty chuckle when he felt her wetness.

_You're the prettiest god damned girl I ever seen._ Daryl's voice echoed in her head.

"I can't do this." She pulled her mouth from his.

"Sure you can darlin'," He rasped. "Doin just fine." He forced her head back clutching her hair with one hand, working her clit with the other, while roughly licking her neck. She could not stop the noise that rose in her throat from escaping as she began to dissolve into his hand. While he teased the root of her clit with two fingertips, her hips rotated in appreciation. He reached lower to softly rub directly over her pulsing bundle of nerves. She gasped "Don't!"

She pushed his hand away stopping him before she came. She tried to move off him, but his grip on her hair was strong. She twisted away from him.

"Don't **do t**his to me girl" Shane growled angrily. They struggled in the small space between the steering wheel and seat. Finally he shoved her aside, angrily exiting the jeep.

He stalked around to her. "What the hell are you playin' at?"

"Don't put this on me!" She hated herself; her own body had betrayed her.

"Well** look** at you, walking around, dressed like that." He gestured to her. "Girl, your pants are so low girl its like you're having an open house for your pussy every day. Come on **in** and look around, maybe try it out. You're a fuckin' tease is what you are."

"You did not just say that! What fucking decade are you living in man?"

She was angrier at herself than at Shane. It didn't matter that she'd never see Daryl again. That whole thing had been wrong.

She got out of the jeep, adjusting her clothing. "Don't blame me. You started it!"

"You **wanted** it." He shot back. "You can't tell me you didn't. That'd be a damn lie."

She doubled over as if she'd been hit. Her insides crumpled like paper as her entire being ached, knowing Daryl was lost to her forever. He was the only one she wanted. Falling tears hit the dirt at her feet. She'd never felt so empty.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You done good little brother. Was getting worried you hadn't been listening to me all them years I spent tryin' to make a man of you."

"Merle?" Daryl opened his eyes, shocked to see his brother sitting on the ground beside him. He squinted in the morning sun and sat up. "Hell, you doin' here? How..."

"You took **good** care of little queenie last night. Made her cum then made her cry. Couldn't have done a better job myself. Didn't think it'd be so easy for you, being the sweet one and all, but you learned from the best." He laughed.

"How'd you know about that?" Daryl asked defensively "You spying on me or something?"

He boxed his younger brother's ears.

"Hell I'm proud of you boy. You fucked her real good, then you was outta there faster than a jack rabbit on moonshine. No muss, no fuss."

"She was crying?"

"Don't worry yourself none about that. All bitches do."

"Bullshit, Danni don't cry."

"You callin' me a liar? I know what I saw. Good thing too, that stuck up cunt needed to have her ass knocked down a few pegs."

"Shut up." Daryl was getting angry.

"What have I always said? Women are like tiles: you lay 'em right the first time, they let you walk all over 'em for life. She aint no different."

Daryl got up.

"Where are you goin'?'" Merle asked.

He didn't answer.

"If you're thinking of looking for her, don't bother. She took off with the rest of them pansy asses, immigrants and democrats. She's gone."

Daryl ignored him. _Gone._ The word sucker punched him.

"You her bitch now?"

"I aint nobody's bitch".

"They just scraped you off their heels like you was dog shit, little brother. You're nothing but a freak to them; redneck trash is all you are. They're laughing at you behind their backs. ** She's** laughing at ya."

Daryl turned back to Merle. "No she aint."

"Believe what you want, but now its just you and me again. Like its 'sposed to be." Merle walked up to Daryl, leaning his face in close. "They aint your kin; you're blood."

Daryl tried to turn away, but Merle roughly grabbed his shoulder. "Now you listen here, aint nobody gonna care about you 'cept me, little brother, aint nobody ever will."

_Gone._

"You did right with that little piece of trash. "

"Shut up 'bout her."

Merle just laughed.

"Liked it better when you was missing." Daryl shot back defensively.

"Dont look be like that. I'm on your side."

"Yeah, Since when?"

"Hell, Since the day you was born baby brother. Someone had to take care of your worthless ass."

"You never took care of me; talked a big game but you was never there."

"And you think some worthless little piece of pussy is gonna be there for you? That what you think? Then why'd she leave with the rest of 'em?"

"You best shut the hell up."_ I'm the one that left._

"Or what, you gonna shut my mouth for me? Do it!** If you think you're man enough**!"

Daryl awoke with a start. It was daylight, late morning he surmised from the sun above him. _If you think you're man enough._

"Fuck you Merle."

He laid on his back beside a large boulder at the edge of the tree line on the far side of the quarry. Falling asleep out here last night was stupid and careless. Unlike him. _Stupid. _These woods could be crawling with Walkers. Relief shot through when he felt his crossbow beside him on the ground and buck knife in its holster hanging at his waist.

Merle's words played over in his head. He knew he didn't fit with Rick's group, but neither did Danni. They'd have done fine, just the two of them, but she changed her mind. It wasn't his fault. _She had her chance_. He hated to think about her crying. Was Merle right? _Fuckin' dream. That's all it was._ He didn't want to believe he'd treated her like Merle would have. Made her cum and made he cry; that's what he'd been running from all his life.

He couldn't find the words to describe his experience last night with her. All he knew was that he'd never felt that good before. He couldn't handle the fact that he wanted the sensation again. It wasn't** just** the sex, it was the way she was with him. She knew how to be with him, what to do for him, what he needed. She took care of him; made him feel worth something. That kind of treatment troubled him, because deep down he liked it. Hell, he was supposed to be a man not a pussy whipped bitch.

His conflicts attacked him with full force, continuing to control the dialogue in his head.

Merle was right about being the only one his life._ When he was around_. He guessed he'd been lonesome but it was what he knew. How was he supposed to change now? If he let her in, he'd just let her down. Besides, once she** really** got to know him she'd take of faster than_ a jack rabbit on moonshine._ He winced, repeating Merle's words. He couldn't give her what she wanted or needed. That's why he left her last night. It was pointless thinking about all this. She was _gone._ Probably at the CDC already. He had treated her like shit, now he was getting what he deserved. End of story. "Stop being such a pussy." He ordered himself aloud.

He looked around, to make sure he was alone. No sign of Walkers. He journeyed back to the deserted camp. His tent and truck were the only signs anyone had ever been there. Being out in the woods alone was second nature to him. He began to take stock of what supplies he had.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

They drove in uncomfortable silence. Finally, Danni had to say something.

"Shane, I didn't mean to lead you on."

"Forget it. Guess we're both just lonely." He summed up then added, "Sorry I cussed you out back there, but you can't just leave a man in that state, without returning the favor, know what i'm sayin? That there's just cruel, girl. "

_Spare me_.

She rolled her eyes. _ "_If you need to pull over and take care of something, be my guest."

He glanced over, one eyebrow raised.

"I am not giving you a blow job."

He shook his head, and with an exhausted chuckle said, "You're something else you know that?"

"So, I've heard."

Shane's jeep met up with the rest of the vehicles about ten minutes later. They were all stopped behind the RV.

"What took you two so long? "Rick looked worried.

"Danni had worse engine trouble than we thought." Shane answered quickly. "What's going on here. It don't look right."

"Dale's having his own mechanical issues." Rick motioned to the right and Danni saw the grill of the RV propped against the front wheel. However, no one was working on it.

Rick noticed their questioning glances and added "We've got a bigger problem than that now. Andrea's missing."

"How the hell is she missing?" Shane asked. "What the hell happened Rick?"

"She had words with Dale. Something about Amy I'm sure. She took off running into the woods. I searched for over an hour. Glenn and T-Dog are out there now. Dale too."

"Jesus Rick, the odds she's still alive are..."

"Favorable. They have to be."

"You can't seriously..."

Danni left the two men to their argument. She may have issues with Andrea, but she didn't wish her any harm . She grabbed her duffel bag and train case from the back of Shane's jeep and hauled it to the RV. She found a place in the back to store her stuff. She sat on the padded bench in front of the windows across from the dining table, alone with her feelings of self loathing. Who was she trying to hurt? Sure, she'd been drinking, but she had enough awareness to have stopped Shane the minute he put a hand on her. She'd only hurt herself. She'd never see Daryl again so what would it matter to him?"

Sophia hopped up the stairs into the RV.

Danni, I thought you got lost!"

"No, sweetie, just had some car trouble."

"You can ride with us now!"

Danni nodded.

"You're sad." Sophia said.

"A little, yeah."

"About Daryl?"

"Yeah. I am." She could admit it to an eight year old easier than to herself. It felt good to say it out loud. "He 's making me **really** sad now."

"It's okay to cry you know." Sophia stated with authority.

"How can I cry with a cute munchkin like you around?" She squeezed the girl, and as Sophia giggled, Danni said, "Lets go beat Carl at a game of War, huh? Grab the cards."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Two days had passed and there was so sign of Andrea. They had been searching in two groups, alternating. A few Walkers crossed their path, but no herds. Rick knew that would change. On the evening of the second day he regretfully explained that they had to move out the following morning. He couldn't risk their safety any longer by staying out here on the road. Additionally, sleeping in the RV and cars was uncomfortable as well as dangerous. They had to continue to the CDC.

Later that night, Danni awoke from a restless sleep with the compulsion to look for Andrea. She got up and put her boots on. She had her trench knife in one back pocket and mag flashlight in the other. She exited the RV quietly without disturbing anyone else. Rick was keeping watch on top of the vehicle, but with her flashlight off, she was able to slip quietly into the woods at the front of the Winnebago, out of Rick's line of sight.

Maybe it was time to move on, but Danni wanted one more chance to look for Andrea. She needed to do this after what had happened to Amy. Besides, she had a **feeling.** Something was driving her to go out into the woods tonight. She followed her instinct and headed through the brush, keeping the flashlight beam ahead of her feet.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Daryl sat in front of a small-scale fire roasting some squirrel.

He gazed up at the sky looking for stars. This time of year he could usually make out the Bear Hunter constellation and sometimes his two hounds. Nothing. He remembered one of the first days in the old camp, he'd overheard Danni telling Glenn she was a vegetarian or some fool thing like that. When she had said_ even a squirrel deserved life_, he interrupted them telling her squirrels were nothing more than _lowlife rats that can climb, _starting one of their arguments. After a day or two of going hungry, she ate squirrel every time he brought it back. He said 'I told you so'; she kicked dirt at him. That was Danni, she did what she had to in order to survive even if she didn't like it much. Without bitching, but still giving him shit.

He pushed her from his mind. Again. He had moved further north into the woods. His plan was to head up into the mountains. Walkers wouldn't get that far any time soon; if ever.

He heard something in the brush.

He studied the sound of the twigs snapping and the rustle of leaves. The noises were coming from the other side of a nearby cluster of bushes. He stood and picked up his weapon, moving silently toward the noise. He surmised that the footsteps had the ground pressure of a human or a Walker. He was betting on human by the smooth pace it was keeping. The moon provided his ight through the trees. He raised his crossbow, ready, as he rounded the bushes.

He stopped short. "Hell you doin' out here alone at night?"


	19. Outlaw Love

**_Won't you tell me what you're thinking of?_**

**_Would you be an outlaw for my love?_**

**_If it's so, well, let me know, if it's no, well I can go_**

**_I won't make you_**

**_Big Star_**

Her intuition seemed to have let her down again. Danni was sick of these psychic place was on a dirty, beer soaked stage, in a dark noisy club, her bass guitar on her hip, mic at her mouth and audience at her waist. Instead, she was wandering the woods in the middle of god knows where, sticky, grimy and exhausted. She hated trees, she hated mosquitos and she hated that everything was going to shit. What was she thinking? Was she suddenly going to become Lara Croft and rescue Andrea from a herd of Walkers, save the day, be a hero? It wouldn't bring Amy back. It wouldn't bring Tara back. She sank down to the ground, her back against the trunk of a Georgia pine, and looked up into the clear night sky full of stars. She made out the constellation Bootes, the bear hunter. Nana Brigid referred to it as Fionn mac Cumhaill the mythical hunter-warrior in Irish mythology. Sitting on the back porch, in summer Nan would point to the stars above and tell her favorite story about Fionn and his true love, Sadhbh. She heard Brigid's lilting brogue pronouncing the beautiful woman's name _sive_, then she heard her Nana almost singing the words to the fable:  
_Fionn along with his twin wolfhounds, Sceolan and Bran, were out hunting when they came across a young deer and gave chase. Much to their surprise, the deer was very fast of foot and almost outran them. Fionn, himself, was getting tired and was ready to turn back when Bran and Sceolan gave a bark. As Finn drew close to the dogs, he saw that the deer had stopped and was sitting quietly. The dogs were laying beside her, resting their heads on her soft hide._

_Finn looked on with amazement. Bran and Sceolan were the best hunters ever seen, but now they protected the deer! Fionn decided to bring the deer back to Almú his castle and protect it, for surely, there was something special about this creature. When Bran and Sceolan rose and followed Fionn, so did the deer. When they arrived at the castle, Finn gave orders that the deer was to be left alone and kept safe within the fortress walls._

_That night, Fionn was suddenly awakened by a soft noise. He saw a beautiful woman walking towards him. She wore a long white robe that flowed about her as she moved._  
_She said, "Finn, do not be afraid. I am Sadhbh, the deer you rescued today. Now, you see me in my true form. I had been under the charm of the Dark Druid. He put the form of a deer on me because I would not let him have his way with me. I am grateful to you for bringing me here, for the Dark Druid's magic cannot reach me as long as I am inside your palace walls."_  
_Well, it wasn't long before Fionn and Sadhbh married, for Sadhbh was as kind as she was beautiful. Still, she would not go outside the palace walls, for she feared the Dark Druid. So Finn and Sadhbh stayed a whole year together, inside the walls._

_Then they heard reports that invaders had been seen on Ireland's shores. Fionn knew he must go and fight them to protect his homeland. He was sad to leave, for he would miss Sadhbh, and she was also expecting a baby. So Finn promised that he would come back as soon as he could, and Sadhbh said she would watch for him from the castle walls._

_The battle went on for a week. When it was over and the invaders were sent back out of Ireland, Finn hurried home. He could think of nothing but seeing Sadhbh again. How happy he would be when he arrived!_

_But when he came close to the fortress, he did not see Sadhbh watching for him. The palace was very quiet. Where were all the hustling, bustling people? What was wrong? Fionn was very frightened._

_"Where is my wife?" he cried out. "Where is Sadhbh?"_

_Finally, one of the servants answered Finn._  
_"It was on the fourth day after you left," the servant said. "Sadhbh was standing on the palace walls awaiting your return. We all saw you walking up to the walls with Bran and Sceolan. We thought it strange that you did not enter the gates, but we thought perhaps you and Sadhbh had planned something special for your return. When she went out to greet you, we thought nothing of it. Suddenly, the man who looked like you took out from his robe a hazel wand, and touched her. She cried out and changed back into the deer she had been. She then followed him as if her feet had a mind of their own. Whenever, she tried to turn back, the dogs disguised to look like Bran and Sceolan, cruelly nipped at her heels. By the time our men could arm themselves and go after her, they were gone."_

_Fionn raged and cried, for he knew that the Dark Druid had taken Sadhbh away. Immediately, he set out to find her and bring her home. He roamed the countryside for seven years, but could not find Sadhbh. His heart grew heavier and heavier._  
_One day, Finn went out hunting, for he needed to take his mind off missing Sadhbh so much. In a clearing, sitting in the sun, was a boy of about seven years. Bran and Sceolan whined and licked the boy, although the lad seemed wild. The dogs protected the boy, and remembering how the dogs had protected Sadhbh, Fionn knew this boy must be his son. He recognised in the boy's face some of Sadhbh's features and was certain he was looking at their child. He named the boy Oisín and over time he became as famous as his father is in Irish mythology._

Danni used to cry when the Dark Druid turned Sadhbh back into a deer because she knew Fionn would never find her again. She'd loved this story, knew it by heart. She smiled now, remembering how real all her Nan's fables seemed. It was simple back then; she and Tara listening to Nana describe a world full of magic and luck. When Brigid died, that magic died with her. Mom brought home the first of the men soon after and life was anything but lucky.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo

Andrea screamed when Daryl appeared out of nowhere aiming his crossbow at her head, its flashlight blinding her.

He repeated, "Hell are you doin' out here? Why aint you with Rick and them?"

"Which way is the road?" She answered him with her own question.

"Why?"

"Because I'm lost Einstein and I need to get back to the rest of the group parked on the damn** road**. "

"Why should I help you, you stuck up bitch?" He remembered her treatment of Danni the other day.

Andrea stood hands, on her hips. "Hey, watch it. Help me, don't help me I don't care; just point me to the highway."

Daryl winced. "Hey, calm down. I'll take ya back. They all waiting on you?"

"They should be."

He looked up at the moon and figured out their direction. The road was East.

"C'mon, This way."

"After they walked a bit, he said, "You still didn't answer my question."

"I'm lost, okay."

"I figured that."

"Then why did you ask?"

He shrugged. "What dumb ass thing did you do to get yourself so lost?"

"You are really rude, you know that."

When Daryl and Andrea emerged from the woods, he hung back. Rick almost didn't notice him.

"Daryl?"

"Thought we were rid of you." Shane added.

"I'll be outa' your way in a minute. Just bringing back your lost puppy is all.' He assured Shane.

Dale was the first to embrace Andrea. He nodded at Daryl, not surprised at all to see him.

Hearing Shane's comment, Rick added, "You don't have to leave you know."

"Just came to bring blondie back."

There was no sign of her._ Probably sleeping. _On the return trip with Andrea he'd decided to face Danni, but his courage had all but left once they reached the road. He could get back out to the woods without her even knowing he'd been here. He walked over to the front of the Rv and sat on its step. If she didn't show up in the next minute or two, he'd leave. It was best.

Suddenly, Sophia was in the doorway behind him.

"You're back." She stated.

"Shouldn't you be asleep or something kid?" He stood up, so she could descend a couple of steps.

"Will you be Danni's boyfriend?"

Sophia's question caught him off guard. He looked at her blankly. "What?" was all he could manage.

"I think you should be."

"Why's that?

"Because then you can't leave her anymore. She was so sad when you left. I don't want her to be sad. "

"Me neither." He said with gentle gruffness.

"You should probably marry her."

"Nah." He said. " I never seen any married people stay together. Have you?"

The little girl shrugged, then asked "Well, aren't you going to go find her?"

"What do you mean** find **her?"

"She's out looking for Andrea."

"Now?"

She nodded. "She's not back yet, I've been waiting."

"**Yeah**, I'm going to git her." Before he left he turned back. "Did you see which way she went?"

Sophia pointed to spot where Danni entered the woods. When she smiled at him he added, "Kid, get to bed. G'wan."

Daryl walked back over to the group surrounding Andrea.

"Sorry to bust up the party, but which one of you assholes let Danni go out there alone?"

"What are you talking about?' Rick asked

"Notice she aint here? Cause she** aint.** She's out in them woods alone in the middle of the night. Hell is **wrong **with you people?"

"He's right." Glenn validated Daryl. "She's not in the RV."

Daryl turned and headed to the trees where Sophia had pointed. "Never should have left her alone with y'all."

_First Merle, now Danni. These people out to get me or what? _

Rick followed him.

"Daryl wait. If she went, she didn't tell anyone. I'd never let her have gone on her own."

_That sounds like her. _Daryl thought. He believed Rick. "Whatever."

"Shane and I'll help you, give us a minute."

"You can't track for shit. Besides, I'm better on my own."

Something in Daryl's tone stopped Rick from pressing further.

"Okay. We'll be here." Rick agreed. "We'll wait for you **both**."

"Don't bother."

"I** said** we'll wait."

Daryl looked at Rick with begrudging respect. He had gone back to find Merle, tried to do right by him. He nodded. "I'll bring her back."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooo

Daryl actually preferred tracking at night to full sun. Less, more focused light was sometimes better. He held his flashlight at a low angle to the ground, looking for shadows on any track in his path. He spotted the depression made by the toe of her boot, when she pushed off to take the next step. He knew the pattern of the sole; it was hers. He followed her repeating toe digs. She went to the right. When he couldn't make out actual prints, he looked for indications of her footsteps like flattening of the small pebbles and pieces of vegetation in front of him and disturbances of larger rocks in the path. All in the reflective beam of his flashlight.

"Shine" it was called. He'd circle an area, looking at it from different angles, to spot shine. Once he did, he followed and started listening.

He rounded a tree and saw her bandana on the ground. He crouched to retrieve it observing some sort of dust-up in the trail. The pebbles were scattered and the brush out-of-place. Another set of prints covered the last of hers that he could make out.

"What'd you get yourself into?" He asked aloud.

He continued with difficulty, the trail not yielding much; it was too corrupted. When he noticed he was almost near the place he'd set up camp, he considered waiting until morning after all, but pushed on a little further. Finally, saw Danni hunched over the fallen body of a dead Walker, a second stinking corpse a few steps away. Her back was to him. He went cold. Was she? If he was too late...

He approached slowly, not wanting to startle her. If he had to kill her, he needed to do it fast, without a physical struggle that could weaken his resolve. He took a deep breath. He was about a foot behind her when she sprung up and lunged at him, aiming her knife at his head believing he was another Walker in need of skull crushing.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" He grabbed her arm, the one with the knife and pulled it down away from his head. "Its me!"

She had heard something behind her as she retrieved her knife from its last blow to the head of the creature that had attacked her a short time before. When she whipped around she thought she was seeing things. She didn't believe Daryl was real. Even his grip on her wrist felt like a dream.

"What are** you** doing here?" She asked not expecting an answer but for the vision to disappear. She yanked her hand back.

"My other plans fell through." His voice retained its smart ass tone, giving no hint of the relief he felt at that moment.

Her stomach dropped. It** was **him.

She turned and started walking away.

"Hey, where you going?"

She kept walking. "You are **not** doing this to me again!"

"Hold up!" He yelled after her.

She ignored him, walking faster. "You think you can just come back like nothing happened?"

"Danni, come** on**!"

"No! You can't do this...I won't let you."

"Stop already!"

Finally, she did, but when he reached her, she refused to face him.

He put his hands on her shoulders. "Been looking for you half the night." His grip started the hot flow of tears.

"You shouldn't see me now."

"Why the hell not?" he walked around in front of her, shocked to find her crying. He'd never seen her like that. _Made her cum then made her cry. **Shut up** Merle._

"Because I won't cry in front of you."

"You kinda already are..."

She took a swing at him. He let her hit him hard across the face.

"Feel good?' He asked.

She nodded.

"Do it again."

She did. He didn't flinch; he took the pain.

"Push me."

She shook her head.

"I said push me!" He started toward her. "C'mon girl"

She shoved him, then, while he was still bent over tackled his solid form. They fell together, hitting the ground hard, rolling over in the dirt. She rained punches down on his chest and arms. He lay beneath her, letting her exhaust herself. She was crying harder now. "You left me! You just left me there. You god damned son of a bitch!"

She crawled, then stumbled away from him blindly, tears blurring her vision. She felt ashamed of crying and of what she was saying. She'd shown him enough weakness.

He pulled himself up, brushing dirt off his pants. He recognized abandonment in her voice, ashamed to have caused it another person. Especially her.

"What the hell was that anyway?" She choked the question out, trying to deflect his attention from what she'd been saying. "Your mouth is bleeding you know."

"Looks like I messed with the wrong girl."

"You're not funny."

"Not trying to be".

They mirrored the other's self protective pose, arms crossed tightly across their chests, avoiding each other's gaze.

"You know you wanted to beat my ass. Felt good didn't it?" He paused. "Shit, I deserved it. Shouldn't have left like that." He went on. "Told you I'm no good at this."

"Sex ruins friendships." She stated, taking a few deep breaths. "I knew that but I let it happen. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry it went this far."

"I'm not." He said surprising her. "Look, I never, felt anything like that before all right? I never...no girl..." He didn't want to admit she was his first. Not yet. He began gnawing on the skin around his thumbnail. "Shit, it's coming out wrong." After a brief silence he added, "We let it happen. I was there too and I aint sorry."

The moonlight gave everything a shadowy, silver gleam. He looked at her dirt and tear streaked her face; her hair hung framing her face in two tangled, messy braids and she kept pushing her bangs out of her eyes. She had on her yellow tigers shirt that she'd worn in Atlanta. "You..."

"Go on, let me have it." He braced himself, but all she said was, "You didn't say goodbye." She sounded like a little girl, like Sophia.

He looked at the ground, then back into her eyes. "I'm here now. If ya want me to be."

Danni shivered, her teeth chattering involuntarily despite the warm night, over whelmed with longing and fear. Sometimes his eyes were too intense for her.

"Yeah, I want you." Her voice broke and she let him pull her close. He felt awkward, stiff at first, but when he felt her trembling, his instinct to keep her safe, over rode his nerves. The embrace began to feel natural. Merle was wrong about her. He was starting to think Merle was wrong about a lot of things.

She buried her face in his chest,

"But if you think were gonna be Bonnie and Clyde playin' house you got the wrong idea." He warned her.

"That's exactly what I'm thinking."

She knew that he was apologizing in his own way. After a few seconds the heat and pressure of her body against his made him want her the way he had wanted her the other night.

Despite being alone, he softly spoke into her ear. "Think we got time to, you know..." he asked with the anticipatory tone of an unsure teenager.

"Here?"

He shrugged. "Got a camp set up just a ways back."

"Walkers." She had nearly lost her life no more than 10 minutes ago and he was thinking of..._men; even Daryl. _

He gestured to his crossbow on the ground.

"We aint gonna have much more time alone." He said, as she hesitated.

She knew it meant he was coming with her.

He traced the sparrows, sliding his fingers gently, teasingly under her belt. "C'mon" his voice was gravel against her neck. She felt weak. His hands on her felt right, like she was home.

"So this is how its gonna be now, huh?" She pressed into him grinding on his thigh, her own leg against his growing bulge. "Okay Clyde. Lets go."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

Once they reached his tent, he became hesitant. The bravado and adrenaline rush of their reunion had dissipated and he started to over think. _I have her here, now what?_ He didn't want her to do everything again, like last time.

"I missed you." She said. Shane flashed in her mind, making her cringe.

"**Reall**y missed you." Kissing the back of his neck, she slipped her hands under his shirt to explore his muscular back, but he resisted, pulling her hands back down, out from under the flannel. He turned toward her protecting something behind him.

"Hey." She murmured knowingly. She pulled her own shirt off over her head and turned, offering her own faded reddish-brown scars across her spine surrounded by tattoos of cherry blossoms and branches, like an intricate antique frame. Not nearly as many as he had, but enough. Enough to know he could trust her.

This time, when she faced him, he didn't stop her fingers from opening the buttons of his shirt and pushing it off over his shoulders. She was slowly gliding her hands over the marks of his shame, while softly rocking her pelvis against his. She removed her bra and rubbed her nipples over his bare chest.

"We're still here. They didn't break us." She said and bit his shoulder softly.

She was doing it again, knowing what he needed.

"Yeah, we're still here."

He gripped her shoulders, pushing her down to her knees, then laid her back beneath him. He unbuckled her belt and opened her jeans pulling them down enough for him to put his mouth on her hip bones. He didn't hesitate now, just gently licked the birds. When he started to softly bite them, her hands went to his head, running her fingers through his hair. He began lapping at her navel, tonguing the silver bar and sparkling rubies.

"Don't stop, okay, just don't stop." She hiccupped the words and a soft, breathy moan escaped her.

He felt a surge of confidence. "Like that, huh?" He looked up for a second.

She whimpered, pushing his head back down. The sound of desperation in her voice coupled with the feel of her pelvis undulating under his mouth made his own erection almost unbearable. He moved up her body, still exploring, tasting her, licking the taut, smooth skin of her abdomen until he reached her breasts. He ran his tongue around her right nipple hesitantly, waiting for her reaction. When she bucked up against him feeling antagonizing pleasure, he moved to her left nipple taking it softly between his teeth. He pushed her arms back over head holding her down. She writhed under him, while he repeatedly worked his tongue over her breast concentrating on the nipple. He couldn't wait to be inside her any longer. He was painfully hard now and tried to control his breathing. He squeezed his eyes shut.

He tugged her jeans down over her thighs.

As if reading his mind, she opened his pants. He felt her delicate fingers unzipping and bringing him out, flesh on flesh. Suddenly the incessant pressure on the bulge in his pants stopped.

He handed her the condom, wanting her to put it on and massage it over his length the way she had before. After she worked it down, using both her fingers and tongue, he let her hand take him into her moist heat. When he again felt her tightness around him, stimulating every nerve with her movements he pushed harder, thrusting deeper.

"Shit, oh shit..." The words escaped with his harsh, uneven breaths. She grabbed his arms, digging her nails into his solid lean muscle.

"Uh, uh, I...I...Daryl..." He filled her up and weighted her down simultaneously, keeping her from falling away from him, from herself from this life.

You must be _" willing to risk your body and your blood and your mind, your known self and to become more and more the self you could never have known or expected." _She finally understood the D.H. Lawrence quote she'd written in her journal years ago.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo

Danni awoke to pale morning light and birds beginning their chatter. She had slept soundly for the first time in days. Laying curled up next to Daryl she hadn't fought sleep. She hadn't been afraid to close her eyes.

She stretched, cat-like, lengthening her muscles. She was sore all over but savored the memory of why.

When she realized she was alone in the tent her déjà vu was visceral. Her heart raced as she pulled on her clothing. She quickly crawled out of the tent. She saw him packing up and the relief was palpable. Her first instinct was to race over and throw her arms around him, but she held back. Only for second.

"Fuck it." She ran over and jumped on his back kissing his neck.

"Hey, watch it." He complained half-heartedly.

When he pushed her off and turned toward her he was holding back the smallest of smiles.

"We should move soon. The others are waiting on us."

"We don't have to go with them." Danni told him. "I don't care."

"Yeah you do. 'Side's I told Sophia I was gonna bring you back."

She was accustomed to his not talking, but as they put the last of his stuff into the pickup, his silence made her self-conscious. It was thicker, heavier than usual. For the first time what he wasn't saying worried her. They'd crossed a line. For better or worse.

Finally he looked over at her.

"Danni, this thing we're doing, you and me...I want you to know I'm in. I'm **all **in." He said it softly but with intensity.

As relieved as she felt, it was a lot more than she expected him to say.

He looked past her. "Merle was the only family I had. The only one I ever trusted..."

"I know..." She interrupted.

"Lemme finish. Nobody else. 'Til you. Now he's gone." He shook his head, unable to continue.

"You went back for him. You did the right thing."

He winced. "I know I ain't easy to be around. I'm no good with people."

"You're good with me."

He shrugged, looking at her sideways.

"And the group. Rick depends on you. I saw it in Atlanta. "

"Didn't do nothin' Shane wouldn't have done." He rasped.

"Yes you did. More."

"Look Daryl, the other night, last night, I liked it. I'm hoping we can keep it up."

"Yeah?" She saw a hint of his nervous smile again.

"Hey, can't we be happy about this at least?"

He stepped forward and pulled her to him, feeling more sure each time he did.

"I can't do any of this without you." He said almost too low and quiet for her to hear. "I tried. It don't work anymore."

She nodded into his chest. " I know. I have your back. Always."

She wished they could stay there holding on to each other forever, because she knew it might be the last time they did. Any time could be the last

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

As she settled into the passenger seat, Daryl noticed she wasn't phased by the torn upholstery or grime on the interior of the cab.

"So the bike you're hauling, it's a what, a chopped '70s Triumph? Bonneville?" She asked.

"TR60 and its** ''60's.**" He corrected her.

'The Tiger model."

You know bikes?"

"Yeah. I have," she paused "**had** friends with motorcycles."

"Its Merles'. His pride and joy. He's been working on that thing as long as I can remember. Its his badass cruiser."

"So the SS bolts, are they Merle's too?" She asked. She had noticed the Shutzstaffe symbol on the side of the tank.

"Yeah. He hung out with some neo nazis. Skinheads. Met most of them doin' time. Merle's got strong opinions on that subject."

"What about you?"

"You mean am I a racist son of a bitch like my brother?"

"Are you?"

No one ever asked him if he was or wasn't. Being Merle's brother, they always assumed he was. Merle wasn't here now.

"No, I'm not." He felt good saying it out loud. He never had before; Merle would have kicked his ass.

She nodded. She hadn't thought so.

"You ride?" He asked.

"Yeah. I love it."

"Might let you. If you're nice to me."

"How nice do I have to be to drive it?" She smiled.

_That smile._

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo_

"There they are." She said, looking at him as he pulled the truck up behind Shane's jeep. "We can still leave. You don't have to do this."

"I know."

His body language shouted distance at her the minute they approached the group. They hadn't discussed what to say to anyone, if anything. She followed his cues and kept any signs of closeness or spontaneous affection to herself. She respected his need for privacy. It was easy to slip back into their roles in the group.

"So the prodigal son returns." Carol smiled warmly when she saw Daryl. He just winced, squinted and shook his head, bristling at her calling attention to him.

He motioned to Sophia. "Danni, she's been waiting for you."

Danni crouched and the girl ran into her arms.

"You don't have to worry anymore, I had a talk with Daryl last night." She assured her, sounding quite authoritative for an eight year old.

"Thank you bug, thank you." She whispered into Sophia's ear.

Daryl was uncomfortable when Dale pulled him aside to express his gratitude for what he'd done for Andrea. Still, Danni thought she noticed a bit of pride in his posture. He held his head high as Dale shook his hand.

Finally it was time to move on, the group intact again. As he and Danni walked to his pick up, Daryl noticed Shane giving them too long of a glance. "What's officer douche bag's problem now?"

She looked back seeing what he meant. Shane was staring hard at her. She felt uneasy. "You don't like him do you?" She asked.

"Don't trust him. He's the kind of guy who'll put a rattlesnake in your pocket and ask you for a light."

She might have to have a talk with a rattler.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooo

"When's your birthday?" Danni asked Daryl a few minutes after they started out on the road, back in the caravan.

"Why? You gonna bake me a cake?"

"I want to know what sign you are."

"Wasn't that 'sposed to be your pick up line or something? We're past that now aint we?"

"Come on, when is it?"

"August 16."

_Leo. Strength. Lion. _She shivered.

"You gonna read my fortune now?"

"Shut up."

_Here we go again,_ he thought with relief.

The next time Daryl stole a glance over, she had propped herself against the door, fast asleep. The steady hum of truck tires made her drowsy. She had pulled the hood of her tattered black sweatshirt over her head to cushion it against the window. The zip up jacket had seen better days. The cuffs were fraying and it had been washed so often that the black had almost become a dark gray. The white skull and crossbones transfer across the front had tiny cracks in some places. Her raven hair spilled out, in need of a good brushing. Her t-shirt read Motorhead England across the front. A band he knew, _Ace of Spades_ was a kick ass song.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo

"Wake up, Looks like we're here." He pushed her shoulder gently. She awoke to a devastating landscape. They stared. The entire grounds of the large government building were strewn with rotting corpses. More than she'd ever seen before. The stench was immediately overwhelming. They remained silent. He reached behind him to small space behind his seat and pulled out the Remington shot-gun he'd kept after Atlanta. He handed it to her.

He looked down to her waist making sure she had her knife clipped to her belt.

He swung his crossbow over his shoulder as he exited the truck. She jumped down holding the shotgun at her side.

The sun was getting low as they joined the others.


	20. Irish Gypsy Witch

_**i like my body when it is with your**_

_**body. It is so quite new a thing.**_

_**Muscles better and nerves more.**_  
_**i like your body. i like what it does,**_  
_**i like its hows. i like to feel the spine**_  
_**of your body and its bones, and the trembling**_  
_**-firm-smooth ness and which i will**_  
_**again and again and again**_  
_**kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,**_  
_**i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz**_  
_**of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes**_  
_**over parting flesh … And eyes big love-crumbs,**_

_**and possibly i like the thrill**_

_**of under me you so quite new.**_

_**E.E. Cummings**_

Danni reached back into the cab of Daryl's truck for her military surplus back pack. She had stuffed her tarot cards, journal, a couple of t-shirts, jasmine soap and clean underwear in it earlier that morning, ready to _travel light. _She shut the door, then, jogged ahead with Daryl to catch up with the others.

The exhausted, desperate band of survivors navigated the stretch of death covered land, hearing only the buzzing of flies and smelling the sickly sweet stomach turning perfume of rot. Rick and Shane led, Daryl and Danni brought up the rear moving quickly. Daryl kept her beside him, not in front or behind.

She held her bandana over her nose and tried to breathe through her mouth.

"Keep you gun up, girl!" Daryl scolded. He was right. She sucked in a last gulp of air and tried not to breathe too much.

A steel, roll down security gate protected the deserted entrance to the intimidating glass and concrete structure looming above.

"This your big idea?" Shane asked Rick, frustration rising. "Nobody's here."

"There 's gotta be a way in." Rick studied the gate.

"Never should have listened to you man! We're as good as dead!"

"Hey!" Daryl rushed at Shane trying to shut him up. 'Rick made a call!"

Danni quickly grabbed the tail of Daryl's shirt yanking him back before he could tackle Shane.

"Keep him off me!" Shane spat.

"Walkers!" Glenn called out.

Daryl was the first to head back toward the threat, taking out the first invader with that now familiar sucking sound of arrow piercing brain.

Danni followed behind him, drawing her knife, but when Shane fired his gun, she raised the Remington and began to pick off the next few geeks, as the kids begin to cry at the loud, cracking shots.

'Somebody's in there!" Rick shouted. He noticed the security camera move and pan over them. Shane looked back but when Rick motioned to the camera he dismissed him.

"Thing's on a timer!"

"What are we **doing**?" Daryl called out to Rick. "Gotta move! There's too many of 'em!"

A large group of the dead were shuffling forward from the edge of grounds.

"We can't be out here after dark!" Lori reminded Rick practically in tears.

Before Rick could make his decision on whether to stay or head back to the vehicles, the metal gate suddenly retracted with an ear-piercing screech, while a flash of white light spilled out, blinding them. After a few seconds, they got their bearings and followed Rick cautiously into the main lobby of Center for Disease Control. Danni immediately relished the feeling of the cool, odorless air in contrast to the suffocating, sticky, putrid atmosphere heavy with death they'd left outside.

The enormous foyer's high ceiling and polished marble floors contributed to the echoing when a lone man approached, an automatic rifle pointed at them. "Why are you here, and what do you want?"

_Nobody gets in to see the Wizard, not nobody, no how!_ Danni couldn't help herself. This place and that strange man, made her feel as if she were living a twisted version of the scene from the Wizard of Oz, when the gatekeeper bars Dorothy and her companions from entering the Emerald city.

Rick spoke for them. "A chance." He said simply.

"That's asking an awful lot these days."

"Please, we'll die out there." Rick put the situation into its starkest terms.

Something in Rick's tone must have gotten through to the man however for he added. "You'll have to submit to a blood test. I need to be sure no one's infected." By way of saying yes.

"Grab your things." He ordered, explaining, "Once this door closes, it stays closed."

Everyone scrambled forward as the shrieking metal gate rolled down outside.

Rick approached the stranger, who wore dark pants and a white t shirt and not any sort of uniform to show his position here. Rick put out his hand, the stranger lowered his gun.

"I'm Rick Grimes." He introduced himself, conveying gratitude with his eyes.

"I'm Dr Edwin Jenner. Follow me."

Danni was again reminded of the gatekeeper to Emerald City in the Wizard of Oz.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After performing the blood tests, Jenner crowded them into an elevator and began to descend to the building's basement control center.

Daryl broke the nervous silence, unable to hold back a smart ass comment. "Do doctors always go around packing heat like that?" Danni kicked his ankle, he scowled at her. "Well?"

Jenner deadpanned, "There were plenty left lying around. I familiarized myself. But you look harmless enough." He looked down at Sophia and Carl. "Except for you two. I'm gonna have to keep my eye on you." He smiled, so they giggled a little. The doors opened and he lead the group into the control room.

"Vi, bring up the lights in the big room." He said and as if by magic, a cool bluish white glow illuminated the room. "Welcome to Zone 5."

Danni wondered if the wizard was behind a curtain controlling the lights.

The dim, cool room had wall to wall computers and monitoring stations like some sort of mission control with seats facing a giant monitor above them. The floors here were even more glossy than the ones in the lobby, like ice. Danni was aware of the white noise of machines humming and low beeping. _Now I am on the X Files. _

"So this is where all the kids who majored in science ended up." She said quietly.

"Where is everyone?" Looking around, Rick questioned the absence of other doctors.

"I'm all that's left." Jenner replied.

"What about Vi, the woman you were speaking to?" Lori asked.

Jenner introduced them to the CDC's computer system. "Vi, welcome our guests."

"Welcome guests." When they heard the voice again, they realized it was obviously computer generated.

_I am the great and powerful Oz._

"C'mon, I'll take you to the living quarters." Jenner offered, noticing shock on a few of their faces.

He spoke almost genially as they followed him back down the muffled, carpeted hallway. While pointing to a series of closed doors, he explained, "Some of the researchers lived here in the facility from time to time. These aren't luxury apartments by any stretch, more like comfortable dorm rooms. Bed, closet, shower."

"Shower? "T Dog couldn't contain himself.

"Yes, just go easy on the hot water."

"Hot water?" Glenn sounded incredulous.

I think I'll let you all settle in now." Jenner said with a slight smile looking ever more like a pleasant host.

Daryl touched Danni's hip. "Which one?" He motioned to the doors.

"Here I guess?" She pointed to the door in front of them.

"I'll be back." She watched him head away, down the hall, knowing he didn't want anyone to see them sharing a room. It was kind of fun, feeling sneaky, like having her first boyfriend again.

As Shane passed, she stopped him. "Hey can I talk to you a second?" She needed to know he wasn't going to say anything to Daryl about what had happened between them.

"Yeah, in a while I gotta go check on something with Rick. I'll find you, okay."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo

Danni was almost beside herself, having a real bed to sleep on and a shower. She remembered times that the band scraped enough money together for a Motel 6 after weeks of sleeping on floors. Still, something was not sitting right about this place. She sensed tragic energy in Jenner. The kind of tragedy that would push a man to his edge. She banished the nagging thought, focusing on all the bad art on the walls. It really did feel like a motel 6 in here. She wanted to feel safe, relaxed, human again.

"Did anyone see you?" She asked Daryl as he slipped into the room.

"Nah."

"Thank god!" She said over-dramatically.

"Shut up." He shot back, tossing his back pack at her. She was giving him shit the way she was supposed to.

"Don't want anybody else up in our business. Yet." He gave her that.

Never having shared an actual bed, they looked at the one between them now like a barrier, defying them, daring them.

He quickly stepped away from it. "I'm using some of that hot water, no doubt. You wanna..."

"Go first?" She asked before he finished.

_Come on in with me?_ Was what he was going to say. He felt stupid for thinking it.

"You go. I want to organize a couple of things."

"Suit yourself." He said catching the bar of soap she tossed him.

"Smell good for a change, huh?" She smiled.

"Watch it."

He longed to grab her and take her into the shower, but she obviously didn't want that. Things had been going okay._ Not gonna mess up by bein' stupid now._

Danni debated whether to hint that they shower together. She feared coming on too strong. It seemed like every time they were intimate it felt more organic, more right; things were developing at a proper pace._ No need to rush._

She heard the water. She sat, unable to concentrate on anything but her wish to feel his wet, slick skin against her own. Anytime could be the last time she justified. She began to undress as she walked, leaving her clothing in pieces over his on the floor making a trail to the bathroom.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

Shane was curious about why Danni wanted to talk to him. When she didn't answer his knock, he entered her room noticing two sets of clothing strewn on the floor. _Dixon._ He'd seen them cozyin' up earlier. As he got closer to the bathroom, he heard them in the shower together over the noise of the water. He pictured Lori's arms around Rick's waist. He remembered Danni in his jeep the other day, grinding against him, practically coming in his hand. He felt rejection burning him. He wondered if Dixon would like to know what a little slut she was? It 'd be better to find out now before he got too attached. _ I'd be doin' the boy a favor. _Shane smiled at the thought.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

"Hey, what are you..."

"We're supposed go easy on the hot water remember." She said, stepping toward him, under the water, the spray cascading over her porcelain skin. "Conserve, right?"

_She just knows_. He thought. As she stepped closer and pressed her breasts against his smooth chest he welcomed the now familiar stirring, thinking about what he'd want to try next with her. Slipping her hands over his muscular shoulders, his skin slick with warm soapy water, she put her mouth on his and took his tongue. She felt the twinge low in her belly turn into an ache between her legs. The flow of water into their mouths enhanced their ravenous, greedy kisses and made her breathless.

"What do you want?" She whispered.

_How the hell did I find you? _He wondered.

He took a chance. Part of him felt he was demeaning her but the other part longed for her to take him in her mouth. He gently pushed her down to her knees keeping his hands on the back of her head.

Kneeling before him, she reached in and wrapped her hand tightly around his growing erection. His breathing quickened. She looked up and smiled shyly. _It was okay._ God he wanted this. She wet her lips and took him deeply into her mouth. The pleasure of her lips and tongue around him was intensified by her looking up at him. She held his hips, preventing him from pushing. She continued sucking, slowly working her way from the tip of his shaft to its base, ensuring she stroke every part with her tongue. As she slowly drew her lips back over his tip, she looked at his face, loving the ecstasy she put there. She tasted him, he quivered.  
She began to gently lick, ever so slightly, then moved back when she felt him getting too close. He closed his eyes, put his head back and expelled a deep breath.

"Do you like fucking my mouth?" she asked, hoarsely.

He shuddered "Uh huh." Then he asked, "Do you like gettin' fucked?"

He surprised her; his deep, husky growl made her ache begin to throb.

He pulled her up and turned off the shower spray. As he lifted her to his waist, she pressed her knees against him and he carried her to the bedroom.

He laid her on the edge of the bed and spread her legs. So far, everything he'd wanted had been fine with her. He stopped thinking and let his body take over, trusting her. He had felt how wet she when he held her against him and wanted to taste her. He put his mouth on his favorite spot, the sparrows. Instead of moving his tongue up her smooth soft tummy, he moved further down kissing and licking his way to her pussy. He ran his finger over it lightly, waiting for her reaction. She dug her fingers into the sheets, arching her back slightly; he hesitated a bit too long, so with understanding, she brought her hands down and gently parted the soft folds between her legs. He looked up, noticing an almost feline expression on her face; she chewed her bottom lip and her eyes said _I'll show you_. He watched as she began rubbing her clit with her forefinger, her breath quickening. Her self ministration mesmerized him but he broke out of his trance to lean in and lick her finger. He pushed her hand aside with his mouth so that his tongue could take over. Her clit was hard and throbbing beneath his tongue, so he gently licked and sucked on it. Her writhing and desperate sighing told him he was doing something right. He'd always been a fast learner. Shooting, tracking, now this. When she grasped his hair and moaned his name, he couldn't hold off any longer. He stood and pushed her further up on the bed leaning over her. She licked his lips and sucked his tongue making him desperate. This time he knew she was in no state to put the rubber on him. He took care of it, then moved back and thrust into her hard. She inhaled and held her breath. Tingling all over she pushed back, feeling him deep inside. His sweat and water from the shower mingled and dripped on her.

"Fuck me hard Daryl, please."

Her saying please dispelled any inhibitions he had left.

"Ask me again." He growled.

"Fuck me?" Almost a whimper.

"Say please."

She did, over and over while he moved in and out of her as slowly and deliberately as he could pinning her arms down above her head. He felt her tighten around him, grabbing each of his thrusts deep inside and knew he couldn't last much longer.

"I'm...shit...Danni, I'm gonna cum hard." He groaned.

His gravel voice brought her even closer to her own climax.

"Do you want to feel me cum?" She asked breathlessly.

"Yeah, yeah" He panted.

"Are you ready baby? She asked

"Uh huh."

She was there. "Now, baby, now."

Her orgasm pulsed through her like a violent deluge, a stormy sea in which she wanted to drown. Feeling her break and dissolve into him, he began his release. He pushed deep, filling her, then collapsed on top of her. They lay breathing heavily, soaked with sweat despite the air conditioning.

After he moved from her, she looked at him and laughed. Then she covered her face. _Was that too much? Was that amazing thing too much?_

When she took her hands from her eyes she saw him smiling at her. For the first time. "You're crazy girl, you know that?"

_God she's beautiful._ He knew he'd do anything for her.

iooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o ooooooooooooo

He watched her dress; she stretched her muscles like a ballet dancer as she pulled on her jeans, and snaked into her form-fitting t-shirt. Watching her cover more of her body, he felt possessive of her flesh. He already knew that next time he wanted to slowly strip her himself, piece by piece, making sure she knew she was his.

He put on a clean flannel, pulled from his pack. She hadn't ever seen him without dirt on him somewhere.

He noticed the Tarot cards and book sitting on top of her olive drab bag on the prefab dresser. He picked up the cards, casually shuffling and fanning them out while she brushed her wet hair.

"You a witch or something?"

She was thoughtful before answering "Yes." Finally, claiming the mantle Brigid had passed on to her. "An Irish Gypsy Witch."

Somewhere Nana Brigid was smiling.

"Yeah? We had a Conjure Woman back home. Something like that?"

He was taking her seriously. "She did healing and read fortunes. More folks went to her than the doctor in the next county. "

"Something like it. I just sorta know things are going to happen." _I knew we were going to happen._

"Merle called it Appalachian granny magic. Never took any stock in the stuff myself." He sounded dismissive.

"You don't think I'm crazy?"

"Yeah I do. I just wish I knew you before the world went to shit, we coulda' won the lottery and cleaned out Vegas. "

She gave him a look that asked for a serious answer.

"Don't change how I feel about you, if that's what you're asking."

_Still my sexy shit kicker._

A knock on the door surprised them.

"Danni, you in there?" Glenn asked.

"Yeah, its open."

"Oh hey, Daryl," he said, surprised to see him standing beside her as she sat on the bed.

Daryl nodded.

Glenn noticed the disarray of the sheets and their damp hair. He raised his eyebrows at her. She smirked.

"I see you guys ya know." Daryl complained. "Hell is this, High School?" He winced at the attention moving to the door brusquely.

Glenn looked a little worried as Daryl stalked by, but Danni just shook her head.

"Jenner has a dinner spread ready for us."

"Bout time, I'm starving." Daryl waited by the door glancing back at her, now ignoring Glenn, he added "C'mon, you probably haven't eaten right in days."

"I've been missing my squirrel." She teased him.

"Yeah, you have. "

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When they entered the cafeteria, everyone was sitting around a large rectangular table. The mood was light and celebratory. Besides food she noticed an abundance of alcohol. Several bottles of wine, whisky and beer. _Doctors know how to party. Bless the US government._

Danni sat next to Glenn while Daryl hoisted himself on the countertop behind her chair. He motioned for her to pass him one of the whiskey bottles. She handed it back to him and he immediately took a long swig. The surreal scene was not lost on Danni. They could all be guests at a dinner party at Rick and Lori's home, talking laughing, drinking as if nothing else mattered. They were enjoying a respite from the harsh life or death game they'd been forced to play for the past month. Until Shane destroyed the aura.

"When you gonna tell us what the hell happened here doc? All the other doctors 'sposed to be figuring things out. Where are they?"

"We're celebrating Shane no need to do this now." Rick attempted to stop him.

"Wait a second, this is why were here right Rick? Your call; to find all the answers, but all we found is one man."

""I'm the only one left." Jenner explained.

When Shane continued to ask the hard questions, Danni saw Lori and Carol become uncomfortable.

"Hey." She stood up. "Sophia, Carl let's go check out that rec room huh?"

The two mothers threw her thankful glances.

She hustled them out of the cafeteria.

_Always thinking of them kids. Protecting them. _Daryl realized, watching her walk away with a quick turn of her head to nod at him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"No kids' books." said a disappointed Sophia.

"Too bad." Danni agreed, "Just grown up stuff," she added, taking a hard bound copy of Charles Bukowski's poems from the shelf. She put it aside.

"We can't put on the TV or play video games." Carl complained.

"Do you guys want me to **tell** you a story?"

"While I braid your hair?" Sophia asked.

"I would love that." Danni answered.

" I'm really good at it now."

Carl and Sophia made themselves comfortable on the couch, while Danni sat cross-legged on the floor in front of them, so Sophia could easily work on her hair.

She began the story of Sadhbh. It had been on her mind since the night Daryl had found her.

Once upon a very long time ago the greatest hunter and warrior in all of Ireland Fionn mac Cuhill was out hunting with his twin wolfounds Sceollan and Bran when they came across a young deer and gave chase. Much to their surprise, the deer was very fast of foot and almost outran them.."

"Are there more stories about that guy Fionn?" Carl asked after Danni said The End.

'Yeah, some real good ones. Would you like to hear more?"

Both kids nodded.

"Next time then. Now I think you guys need to get ready for bed." Danni informed them, noticing Lori and Carol in the doorway.

"He really never found Sadhbh again? Sophia asked.  
Danni shook her head.

"I bet he still loved her forever."

"Me too." Danni agreed wistfully.

'He found Oisin though, his son. I bet Fionn was a really** good** dad." Sophia said.

Danni nodded. "Goodnight bug."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo

_"_Hey Shane, got a second?" Danni asked relieved to catch him alone in the hallway as she made her way back to the cafeteria.

"All yours." He stopped.

"I'd like to ask you to not to say anything to Daryl about what happened between us."

"What happened?"

"The other day, you and me, in your jeep."

He continued to give her a hard time. "Oh, hey was that** you**?"

"You want me describe it in detail? You know what, never mind."

He smirked. "So you don't want Daryl to know about how good I got you off." He gave her a long once over.

She sighed. Maybe this wasn't such a great idea.

"Okay if that's what you want." He surprised her.

"Really? It is."

He nodded.

"Look. things are good for me and Daryl now and I don't want anything messing it up. Especially not something that meant **nothing at all to me and I wish never happened."**

"So things are going good with you and two huh?" She sensed some unrest underneath his words.

"Yeah."

"Good, that's good." He said aggressively.

Are you all right?"

"I think somehow I'll recover from the great romance between you and Jethro."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

Back in the cafeteria, Danni found Daryl had challenged Glenn to a drinking contest. They were the last two people at the table. Everyone else had turned in. She sidled up to them and poured herself a shot from the bottle standing between the two men. After downing the whiskey, she shook her head. "You two are idiots. You know that right?"

"C'mon, lets see what **you **got." Daryl challenged her.

"Another time." She kissed him quick on the cheek before he protested. She knew she could fit the gesture in; the liquor slowed his reflexes. "I don't think you're ready for me.'

"So, did you guys finally do it or what?" Glenn slurred unable to help himself.

"That's none or your fucking business." Daryl said less gruffly due to the whiskey he'd consumed.

"Sorry man, I ..." Glen laughed, too drunk to be intimidated by Daryl at this point.

Danni looked up and nodded.

"Hey, I saw that." Daryl said.

"What?"

"Don't everybody gotta know our damn business. You two are like a couple of gossiping school girls."

"Guys, come on." Glenn interjected." I mean it was kind of obvious you know. We were all like just **do** it already."

"We?" Danni asked.

"Me, T Dog, Dale and Carol."

Before Daryl could say anything, Glenn added, "By the way, Dale won the pool. I should go tell him."

Danni's hand flew to her mouth at the thought.

"Jesus Christ Y'all got no shame, no..." Daryl began.

"C'mon, its kind of funny." She interrupted him.

"Maybe for you but I don't want grandpa thinking about us like that...I mean that's kinda sick.'

She started laughing and he shook his head. "I'm gonna get shit faced drunk tonight for sure."

"If that's what you want..." Hinting at what he might miss out on.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo

The windowless room possessed a soft, muted quality due to the wall to wall carpeting. Danni, straightened the mussed sheets on the bed. The constant low hum of the AC contributed to the stillness. She dug to the very bottom of her surplus pack for her "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" black silk slip with lace trim. She took off her uniform of jeans and a t-shirt and let the satin cling to her skin as she put the delicate undergarment on over her head and pulled it down, covering her curves. She wanted to feel like a woman. It had been a long time since she'd felt safe enough to sleep in one of her vintage slips. She lay on the bed luxuriating in soft comfort, ecstatic to be free of grime and sweat.

Was this life from now on? Somehow, her unease was telling her they couldn't stay here forever in an underground artificial environment reminiscent of a science fiction novel. If it was safe, why was her intuition nagging her._ Jenner._ He had a negative vibe about him. Not that he wasn't a kind and generous host, but that he was experiencing a deep secret pain that was influencing his decisions. Something wasn't right about this place. She'd have to be vigilant. She thought about a a tarot reading, but decided to just take a break tonight. Morning was as good a time as any. Right now she wanted to feel normal. Even if just for one night.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Daryl made his way down the dim hallway, balancing against the wall, a little unsteady on his feet. He had needed to get drunk tonight. It was the first night in a very long time that he felt he could afford to escape; like a soldier on leave. He hadn't had a second to let his guard down since any of this Walker business had started. When he and Merle grabbed their possessions and hit the highway in his truck, he had no idea he was headed off to war.

She was reading, when Daryl stumbled into their room and without hesitation, fell on the bed beside her, inhibitions dulled with drink.

How's Glenn?  
"Drank that boy under the table."

She moved his head on her lap. "Poor drunk boy." She murmured, stroking his forehead, running her fingers through his hair.

"Yeah, he's gonna be sorry in the morning."

"I meant you."

He grunted and closed his eyes.

"How long do you think we got?" He asked, slurring a bit.

"What do you mean?"

"I just found you. I want more time." His voice was soft and innocent like a kid's.

"Shhhh. Nothing's gonna happen to us."

She opened the book of Bukowski poems she found in the rec room library and read aloud to him.

your life is your life  
don't let it be clubbed into dank submission.  
be on the watch.  
there are ways out.  
there is a light somewhere.  
it may not be much light but  
it beats the darkness.  
be on the watch.  
the gods will offer you chances.  
know them.  
take them.  
you can't beat death but  
you can beat death in life, sometimes.  
and the more often you learn to do it,  
the more light there will be.  
your life is your life.  
know it while you have it.  
you are marvelous  
the gods wait to delight  
in you."

"I don't know what the hell any of that meant." His slurring voice fought sleep. "But, I do know I love you." He rasped earnestly, almost too quietly for he to hear.

He was drunk. She knew it could be the truth or the exaggerations of whiskey tongue. Still, she placed those three words into her heart's keepsake box. Safe in her soul.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooo

_He found her upstairs curled on their mattress._

_"Thought you'd be happier to see me."_

_She sat up to face him. He leaned back against the cinderblock wall._

_Her face was thin and drawn, circles darkening under her eyes. She shook her head._

_"Daryl, you can't just come back and think...How can I be sure you're not gonna leave me again." She paused, her hands automatically went to her stomach. "Leave us."_

_"What?" He pitched forward._

_"You said Merle is blood. Well, so is..." she wasn't sure what to say. "...is whatever this is." Again, protectively holding her belly._

_"Are you saying..."_

_"Yes."_

_"How long did you know, I mean when did you find out?"_

_"Two weeks ago, maybe three."_

_"And you didn't **tell **me?" I never would have left if I'd known."_

_"Exactly. I wanted you to stay for me. Not because you felt stuck."_

_"That don't make no sense. Should have told me. You think you could do it alone?"_

_"I'd do what I have to."_

_"Aint right." He started to get angry._

_"Don't judge me. I didn't judge you for going with Merle. For choosing him." She defended herself._

_"Should have told me."_

_She laid back down, feeling exhausted._

_He didn't know what to do. He headed downstairs._

_He stalked over to Stephen who was talking to Rick next to a an open cell door._  
_"Did you know? Bet you knew first thing didn't ya?" Daryl went on the attack._

_The other man understood the question clearly. "Yeah, I knew. But I was here for her to tell, man. I was** here.**"_

_"You son of a bitch!"_

_"You made a pretty clear choice dude. You picked your brother. I was there, remember?"_

_"I'm back now."_

_"It might not be so easy. For **her**."_

_Daryl lunged and the two went at each other._

_Danni heard them, but was too exhausted to interfere. She was too exhausted to cry. She heard Rick trying to pull them apart._

"Wake up," Daryl shook her shoulder, gently. "Hey, wake up."

"What's wrong" she shot up nervously.

"Nothin; its okay. But you're cryin and talkin' in your sleep."

Her dream came back. They were always the same, the cold, cinderblock rooms; she and Daryl seeming older somehow, darker.

But Stephen? She'd broken up with him six or was it seven years ago? Before all this started. He was her first real relationship back home in Minneapolis. Why was he in her head? She had been happy with him and now she was happy again, with Daryl. He was the only other man who'd treated her well. That was the reason. She felt relieved; just an unconcious connection. Besides, she was sure he was dead now, like everyone else she'd known. She remembered the rest of the dream.

She shot up and got the tarot cards from her bag.

"Magic tricks again?" He asked.

She put the deck in his hands, holding her own over them.

He sighed, indulging her, his head starting to pound with a hangover headache.

She shuffled and cut the deck in two piles between them on the bed.

He pulled the top one from the right pile as she directed him. She did the same with the left.

He turned over the Ace of Cups.

She turned over The Empress.

"Shit." She said.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You don't look it."

"I'm fine really. You go back to sleep or else you'll be really hungover tomorrow."

"Aint you gonna tell me what the voodoo cards said?"

"Tomorrow."


	21. Some Kind of Heroine

**_Wow, so blown away by you guys and your reviews of the last chapter. THANK YOU for taking the time its the most I've gotten so far ^^Loves It!^^ Have to admit, getting reviews does a writer's morale good :) _**

**_A warm welcome to new followers!_**

**_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooo_**

**_she is benediction_**

**_she is addicted to thee _**

**_she is the root connection _**

**_she is connecting with he _**

**_here I go and I don't know why _**

**_I fell so ceaselessly _**

**_could it be he's taking over me... _**

**_I'm dancing barefoot _**

**_heading for a spin _**

**_some strange music draws me in _**

**_makes me come on like some heroine _**

**_-Patti Smith_**

Her eyes flew across the words on the page before her: _The Ace of Cups points to fertility from a very literal point of view indicating conception, pregnancy and birth. Look to other cards in the reading to confirm that there is indeed a chance of new life: primarily the Empress._

Danni already knew the meaning of this card combination, but looked it up anyway, needing her fingers to flip through the old book's pages to stop her hands from shaking. The Ace of Cups combined with the Empress was one of the most accurate pregnancy spreads. Literal, not metaphorical. Danni threw the book at the wall, then hunched her shoulders, turning back, hoping she hadn't woken him. The dream, the cards and the fact that Daryl pulled the Ace himself left no doubt in her mind. She would have his child. _I can't. I can't take care of baby, raise a kid, be responsible for another person. I can't. _Panic started to pulse through her_. Especially not now. _Her breathing quickened and her heart skipped some beats. She had tried to laugh the cards off initially, but knew she couldn't. If she accepted the Gift, she couldn't pick and choose the messages. Deep down, she knew it didn't work that way, that's why she'd tried to escape the damn Calling all her life.

"It is not up to you." She heard Brigid's brogue, felt her soft, warm hand on her cheek. "When you are called upon by the fates to do something, you must be brave and follow through. Trust. Trying to alter the course of your destiny will only result in great destruction and pain."

Danni was familiar with that route. She'd been on the run since Tara died, her life had been a journey down one escape road to another._ But I can't._

_"_What you can't do, my lass, is run anymore."

She heard Nana Brigid. Literally **heard** her voice in the room and smelled her Lily of the Valley perfume.

"Did you hear that?" She asked aloud, but Daryl was sleeping soundly.

The **what** was clear, the **when,** however was still a mystery. She had to trust that the universe would provide a safe time and place. She thought of Sadhbh and Fionn. They spent an entire year together inside fortress walls. She longed for a fortress of their own. Were they in one now?

As far as what the world had become, well, if there was anyone she could make it work with, it was Daryl. The irony was not lost on her that it took civilisation to go to hell and society to practically end for them to find each other.

She returned to the bed from where she'd been sitting on the floor with her book. Daryl was still dressed after finally passing out about an hour earlier. _ Like a little boy. _She removed his dirty work boots, dropping them to the carpet. She undid his belt and opened his pants pulling them down, off over his feet, leaving him in his boxers. He didn't stir. His buck knife, was still clipped to his belt in its leather holster. She unsheathed it and held the heavy weapon in her hands. The handle was solid, weighty and the blade sharp and capable. She drew the edge of the blade it across the tip of her forefinger. It sliced the delicate skin on contact. She winced although it was so sharp it was practically painless. She put her finger in her mouth tasting her blood. The pain came after the cut. Strong, sharp things can hurt you if you aren't careful. She put the knife away, then moved on the bed and pulled the thin cotton blanket over him.

Fear mixed with the respect and admiration she held for him.

She wouldn't tell him about the cards. Not yet. He'd either think she was crazy or feel trapped and burdened. _He doesn't need anything else to worry about._ Besides, she was pretty sure her dream indicated a future destiny. Suddenly, the vision troubled in another way; she realized it was the second dream she had involving Merle. She crawled close, pressing into Daryl's even breaths, trying not to worry. She whispered, "be _willing to risk your body and your blood and your mind, your known self and to become more and more the self you could never have known or expected."_

She must have fallen asleep, because when she opened her eyes Daryl was laying on his side watching her.

"Hey. You okay?" He asked remembering her nightmare and the cards.

She moved her eyes to the ceiling. "No windows. I don't even know what time it is."

"What did your magic cards tell you last night?" He asked, sitting up, stretching and letting out a yawn.

"Yesterday, that thing you said, about being all in, you meant it right?" She answered him with a question of her own.

"Yeah. Course I did."

"That's what they told me."

She pulled him down for a kiss to prevent further inquiry. It started sweet, soft and gentle but quickly turned heated, full of tongue and teeth. Her hand quickly found him growing hard against her thigh. Already? She smiled. She lightly caressed him, increasing her pressure and enjoying his skin's friction in her hand, and the panting she was drawing from him.

"You must feel like shit." She said reluctantly, remembering his hangover, not really wanting to stop.

"Think I'm an amateur?" He asked moving on top and adjusting her beneath him.

She shook her head.

"Then keep going."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo

The cafeteria was again cheery, this time with breakfast commotion and aromas. Danni tried to imagine life here. She preferred being indoors to the woods, a bed to a sleeping bag and coffee from a real pot and not a metal pan over a camp fire. This place lacked natural light, but seemed to have plenty of food and books. Aspirin too, from the looks of it. Glenn sat with a bottle in his hand. When he saw Daryl walk in beside her with no real sign of a hangover, he was incredulous.

She poured herself some coffee, then, turning around almost walked into Shane. She smiled at him to break any tension, but he looked away. She shrugged. _He'd promised to keep quiet, right?_

"Don't ever let me drink again." Glenn ordered Danni as she sat beside him. When Daryl brought a full plate of T- Dogs 'home-made' powdered eggs over and started eating heartily, Glenn asked, "How can you do that?" The smell of food was too much.

"Not my first time at the rodeo short round." He answered as Glenn put his head in his hands.

"I could hurl, now."

"Protein's the best thing for you, kid." Daryl put a fork full toward Glenn who lowered his head back down on the table, the stainless steel cool against his cheek.

The interaction reminded her of the morning after playing a rock show. Hayes, Luke and herself would sit in a diner, or a Denny's hung over, teasing each other, just like this. Had she been running then? Never in one place for long, always on the road, show after show, drinking, leaving people left and right. She thrived on superficial validation from an audience of strangers. She Remained isolated in her songs. She'd never seen things that way before, from the outside.

Danni smiled and winked at Sophia across from her. The delicate blonde girl looked so normal, sitting at the table eating cereal. Danni and Tara had lived on cereal when their mom was off with a man for week a time, sometimes longer. Sophia's large blue eyes showed no fear at this moment. She had tried so hard to keep fear from Tara's eyes.

Noticing Danni's smile fade, Sophia stuck out her tongue, making her grin.

The laughter and chatter were abruptly cut off by Andrea as Jenner entered the room. "So are you going to tell us what happened here?" She asked.

He was silent, thoughtful.

"We're not here for the eggs." She summed up.

Glenn groaned again. "Daryl is."

"All right, if its time for the tough questions, follow me."

_Follow me._ He liked to say that, Danni thought.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000

The were back in the Zone 5 control room.

"Few people ever had the chance to see this." His voice was ominous. 'Vi bring up test subject 19." The huge screen above them came to life displaying a computer animated human form, and zoomed in on its head.

"Is that someone's brain?" Carl asked.

"Yes, an extraordinary one." Jenner answered, turning toward the boy who stood between Lori and Rick.

Danni heard the pang of loss in his voice. This was personal for him.

"This video shows someone who was infected and allowed the process to be recorded." Jenner explained.

Spider web like synapses flashed with light throughout the brain scans on the screen as Jenner narrated. "Experience, memories. Somewhere in all that organic wiring is you. The thing that makes you unique and human."

"Is this ever gonna get interesting?" Daryl asked. Danni elbowed him in the ribs.

"Watch the virus attack the brain. The brain goes dark, the body dies. Everything you were or ever will be is gone."

Jenner paused, hearing Andrea begin to cry.

"Her sister died." Lori explained. "Like ...that."

Jenner approached Andrea, his voice sympathetic. "I lost somebody, too. I know how devastating it is."

Jenner fast-forwarded to what he called to the second event. "Now you'll see TS-19's resurrection."

"It restarts the brain?" Lori asked.

"Just the brain-stem." Jenner clarified. "The human part, the **you** part, that doesn't come back."

In the last frame of the video, a bullet shattered through TS-19's head.

"That's why it has to be the brain." Daryl reinforced. 'Only way to kill them things."

The group was silent.

"Despite seeing the process, we don't know what exactly the disease is." Jenner ignored Daryl's comment stating the obvious.

"What about a possible cure?" Rick asked "There must be other facilities still up and running, working on it?"

"Maybe." Jenner's answer disturbed him.  
"How can you not know?"

"Everything went down. I've been in the dark for almost a month. The power grid is down."

"So it's not just here, it's everywhere. There's nothing left anywhere; that's what your saying?' Andrea summed up.

"Oh my God!" Carol cried when Jenner didn't say anything to the contrary.

Rick interrupted. "Carol, we're safe here. We have shelter." He tried to comfort her.

"C'mon." Lori took Carol's arm, leading her and Sophia back to their room.

"The French. I think they were the last to hold out." Jenner finally answered.

"Nothing. Anywhere." Andrea repeated.

"Man, I 'm gonna get shit faced drunk. Again." Daryl said. "You coming?" He asked Danni.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo

When they got back to their room, Daryl paced for a minute. He wanted her every time they were alone, feeling like an over sexed teenager. The pent-up energy in his body and the want in his eyes told her what he couldn't with words. Because he was still hesitant to start, she slowly kneeled in front of him. He stirred just watching her, knowing what he was in for.

She took his pants down and enveloped him in the warmth of her mouth a second later. He moaned and placed his hands on the wall in front of him. His knees almost buckled under the extreme pleasure that was starting to course through him. His head went back, his eyes shut, and he expelled a deep breath. He brought a hand down to the back of her head, twisting his fingers in her hair.

She opened her eyes. She looked up his body pushing, then pulling her tongue around him slowly. As she travelled down his hard length, he sucked in his stomach, groaning. When she started back up, his chest heaved. She moved over him repeatedly. With his hand in a fist on the wall, he lowered his head down, his eyes in slits.

"Danni this is...I ..." He panted. "Stop." He ordered. He wanted to be inside her. She moved back up and kissed him. His need took over and without thinking he grabbed her and spun her around, her hands hitting the wall front of her, back to him. He yanked her leggings and panties down together. He kicked her legs apart, bent his knees and steadying her hips entered her as fast as he could. Her head went back as she cried out "No!"

"I'm sorry, sorry!" He breathed, placing his mouth against her head, pulling out. He forgot the rubber. That was it. When she turned toward him, looking frightened, he realized it was more than that. "Shit, did I hurt you?"

"I can't...not like that." She moved away from him, shaking. He felt like he'd hit her. I just...I wasn't ready for it. I should have told you."

He pulled his pants back up, more worried about her than himself at that moment.

She walked to the edge of bed, and sat shakily.  
"I'm sorry."

He approached, wincing, chewing around his thumbnail, looking worried.

"I need to see you. Okay? I always need to see you." She pleaded.

"Yeah, all right. Yeah." He rasped softly sitting beside her a little awkwardly. He was almost afraid to touch her, worrying he might do the wrong thing again. He didn't press her for an explanation, sensing one on his own.

"Something to do with these?" He asked, lightly placing his palm on her back.

"Something."

He heard anger in her voice. Without another word, she picked up her leggings and headed into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She sank to the tile floor letting the running water of the faucet drown out her crying. She didn't want Daryl to hear and think he was responsible. She kicked the doors of the vanity, harder and harder yelling, "Bastard! Ruining this for me too!" It just couldn't leave her alone. She finally thought she could handle the memories. _What a joke. _

_ Nice mini breakdown, there_.

Somehow, this pained outburst wasn't providing her with the comfort and release it usually did. Picturing her step dad's pathetic face and breaking something, usually furniture, had been enough at one time. Ever since she met Daryl, her coping mechanisms had been short circuiting. However unhealthy or primitive they might be, they'd always worked. Not anymore.

Daryl began pacing again, listening to her crying over the running faucet. He felt helpless and weak. There were no worse feelings in the world for him. He was also confused that his instinct to leave wasn't giving him relief. Now was the time he'd normally make his exit. He'd left her once before and it hadn't given him the freedom he'd expected. Being alone didn't feel the same anymore; solitude didn't dull anything, just made everything sharper. Instead of walking out the door, he sat at the head of the bed, back to the wall and waited.

A short time later, she emerged, in her black bra and panties, hair brushed, tears dry on her cheeks.

"Move over." Danni ordered.

"Yes, ma am."

She sat next to him on the bed, against the headboard, hugging her knees to her chest. "I'm okay."

"I know."

"It was a long time ago."

He wasn't good with comforting words. "Wish I could kill whoever did that to you."

"Wish I could kill whoever did that to **you.**" She echoed him, lifting his shirt. He leaned forward letting her look at his own injurious marks in the light for the first time. He tensed, but didn't stop her. She wanted to cry. Long belt strokes covered his back, scarred now to vengeful brown over time from angry red as they'd once been. The sheer number and spate of them broke her heart. Truly broke it.

"You were just a kid, weren't you?" She stated, more than asked.

"So were you."

"Can I kiss you?"

"You don't have to."

"I want to." She put her mouth on his, giving him her tongue. He pulled back. "I don't care about that. We don't have to."

"We do, don't you see? We do have to. Know what I mean?"

"I think so."

"That way we win."

She moved herself under him, and pulled him down on her heavily, forcefully. He was sure to look in her eyes and cover her protectively. After opening his pants and putting on a condom, he was inside her before she could catch her breath. This was going to be fast for them both, he could tell. His balls were already twitching and the inside of her was trembling around him. He put his face against her neck and closed his eyes. She grabbed his shoulders then squeezed his biceps. He pushed into her faster, harder, repeatedly. She didn't try to slow him down; didn't want to. She just held on. Then it was over. The rush of her climax surged only a second before his flooded him, rocking them both to their cores with equal parts love and desire. "I won't let anybody else hurt you." He said after he'd caught his breath. "Ever."

After they dressed, she noticed the lights dimming and the hum of the a/c suddenly stopped.

"What the hell?" Daryl had noticed too. He opened the door to the hall just as Jenner strode by.

"Hey, why is everything stopping?"

The others were also emerging with questions.

"What's happening?" Lori asked.

"All nonessentials are powering down." Jenner explained without breaking stride.

"Air is non-essential?" Dale asked.

Carol, Lori and the kids along with Daryl and Danni tailed Jenner, demanding answers.

"Hey, I'm talking to you. What's going on?" Daryl ran ahead to stop the Dr. from walking away from them.

"This place is powering down." Jenner explained bluntly.

"How can a building do anything?"

"You'd be surprised."

Once again they had followed Jenner, and the entire group found itself back in Zone 5. Its cool dim light and soft humming sound of machines now felt terrifying. The building had a mind of its own.

Dale pointed to a digital timer on the wall above the main monitor.

"What happens at zero?" He asked.

"The basement generators run out, then site decontamination takes place."

"Decontamination?" Rick asked.

"HITs. To prevent strains of disease from getting out if the building's security was ever compromised, HITs deploy, setting the air on fire. It will decimate the building and everything inside." Jenner's voice was eerily calm.

_We are going to burn up. Not going back to Kansas with this Wizard._

The kids were getting scared.

"I told you, once that door closed up there it wouldn't open again."

Suddenly the door to the control center drew down to a close before them.

"Hey, open that!" Daryl shouted at Jenner. "You locking us in? You son of a bitch!" Daryl ran at Jenner's seat.

"Shane! Danni! Stop him!" Rick shouted.

"Daryl, no!" She and Shane pulled him away from Jenner at the last-minute.

"He can't do this!" Daryl argued, shaking her off.

Shane raced to the back wall.

"Daryl!" He called, tossing Daryl the axe next to the fire extinguisher. As Daryl began hitting the door, Shane pitched the red fire extinguisher against the barrier. It bounced off like a rubber ball.

"Those doors are designed to withstand a rocket launcher." Jenner explained.

"But your head aint!" Daryl shouted, again angrily running at him aiming his axe at Jenner's head, determined to cause this man pain.

"Daryl, leave it!" Danni shouted, blocking him from his target's chair pushing his chest. He backed off because it was her and because something in her eyes said_ I got this_.

_ I just found you. I want more time. _His words from last night echoed in her head.

Jenner looked at Danni, talking to her as she approached him. "You do want this. Why fight it? What's left out there is a short brutal life. One tiny moment, no pain. Wouldn't it be kinder, more compassionate to hold your loved ones and wait for the clock to run down?"

"Not if it isn't a choice. That's not kind or compassionate that's just murder." Danni opposed Jenner calmly. _Click your heels together three times._

Even Shane lowered his shotgun when she began to speak.

"Suicide** is** a practical way out, sure. It always has been for anyone at** any **time even before all this. If that's how** you** want to play it fine, but it's not my game. Out there, living is a fight but that's a choice too. My choice. Maybe I want to keep fighting. You have no right to make that decision for me or anyone else in this room."

Her voice grew louder but remained steady. "A short brutal life? When has it ever been anything other than that? It's what we make of our short brutal lives that counts."

"There's no hope, there never has been." He countered earnestly, matching her penetrating gaze.

She heard Carol and Sophia sobbing. Her thoughts of Daryl, last night's tarot and destiny, as frightening as it seemed, collided with her past and she realized something.

"You know what's funny, that's what I believed **before**. I have hope for the first time in my life **now**. So open the damn door."_ There's no place like home_.

_I know I love you. _Daryl had said it_, _drunk or not.

Jenner remained silent, unmoved.

Finally she added. "Open the door Dr. Jenner. You are a doctor right? Medical, scientist?"

"Both." He nodded; the group was silent, watching them.

"First do no harm. Do you remember your Hippocratic oath?" She stared at him. "Doctor's preserve life, they don't take it."

Jenner sighed and shook his head. She had gotten to him.

"I told you, topside's locked down, I can't open those."

He punched a code into the remote control in his hand opening the door to Zone 5.

Danni looked at him. "Thank you."

Before he could answer, Daryl grabbed her arm, practically pulling it out of its socket, dragging her toward the door.

"We have five minutes, come on!" Glenn shouted.

"Everybody, get your stuff, lets go!" Shane hustled them all out into the hallway.

"I'm grateful." Rick said to Jenner offering his hand.

The doctor shook it, but leaned in close to whisper in his ear, leaving Rick expressionless.

"The day will come when you wont be."

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 00000000

The explosion was deafening. Why Rick had a grenade was one hell of a question, but Daryl was glad he did. It was the only thing with enough force to blast through the CDC's front windows. Daryl moved his body off Danni's and grabbing their weapons and packs, they ran with the others toward freedom. They jumped through the shattered plate-glass and racing back to his truck, he said, "Remind **me** to make the vacation plans next year. Yours sucked."

She would have hit him if they weren't running so fast.

They got in the pick up and watched the others return to their vehicles as well, just in time to see the building burst into a giant fireball then implode.

The caravan moved out to the street, following Rick as if by instinct.

"Al that stuff you said back there..." Daryl started to speak, keeping his eyes on the road.

"Think I'm crazy don't you? I talk too much."

"You got us out of there." He said. "You saved our asses. Talk all you want."

"You might regret that."

"Yeah, probably will."

When he did look over, her eyes were far away. She'd said something about hope. Having hope. It seemed crazy, but ever since the world started to end, Daryl felt like he had a future.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After traveling a safe distance from the explosion, Rick directed everyone over to the side of the road, outside of a fenced in vacant lot, where a few isolated Walkers were feeding and shuffling around. Daryl and Danni stood by the fencing, taking turns plunging their knives into any skull that wandered too close to the chain link.

"Rick you got any more moves?" Shane asked. "Being in the city like this is risky. Its gonna be dark soon."

"I got one. It occurs to me that we've got friends in this town. What do you think Glenn, Daryl?"

"Guillermo and his people?" Glenn asked. "They aren't far from here."

"You mean the men who kidnapped you?" Dale asked Glenn, surprised.

"We left them on good enough terms." Rick rationalized. "We could stay at least for a night or two. Get our bearings."

"All them guns we left, think they'd throw us a party." Daryl said, his way of agreeing. "Good move." He added, looking at Rick. "For once."


	22. The Only Way Out Is Through

**_I watched you suffer a dull aching pain_**

**_Now you decided to show me the same  
No sweeping exits or off stage lines  
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind  
Wild horses, couldn't drag me away  
Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away_**

**_-Jagger/Richards_**

Danni glanced at the crumbling brick wall where she sat with Rick on the day of Glenn's rescue. Her mind's eye saw Daryl dropping her engineer boots in her lap. Feelings were tentative back then making her feel like a thousand years had passed. The yard was even more full of trash and debris than it had been only the week or so before? The lot felt deserted. Something was wrong.

Being back in the courtyard of the auto shop, Daryl recalled how he'd felt when they came back for Merle and ended up here. He and Danni had spent that entire day circling each other hesitantly, unsure but somehow knowing there was something between them. Here, at Glenn's rescue he'd saved her life too.

This crumbling courtyard was where they first felt a pull towards each other when they were close and an ache in their chests when they were apart.

They walked in point formation cautiously, guns drawn. Daryl and Rick at the front, Shane and T Dog at the rear and Glenn and Danni in either side. The rest of the group stayed inside the circle. Since Danni had been unconscious last time they were here, Glenn had to explain to her that behind the auto shop, was a nursing home, where the vatos were living, protecting and caring for the elderly patients, most of whom were relatives. He had spent most of his time in captivity sitting in the day room, conversing with some gangsters and their grandparents. That's what Rick had meant when he'd told her that G and his people were more like them than he'd expected.

"Where are the lookouts?" Glenn asked scanning the tops of the buildings around them.

They turned a corner and Danni noticed a couple of Walkers feeding on the bodies of the dead cholos.

"Son of a bitch!" Shane exclaimed. More Walkers rose from their meals when they smelled fresh meat.

"To hell with the noise." Rick decided, raising his gun. They all opened fire, dropping Walkers and getting closer to the door to the home.

Finally inside, they continued to walk cautiously through the ruined hallway, stepping over bodies, weapons aimed and ready. The air was rank with the odor of death.

Daryl led with an overly aggressive, animal alertness; he was hyper vigilant and more short-tempered than usual. His body was tense and the crossbow seemed like another limb. Danni knew he felt out of his element here, in the city; he'd rather be fighting these things out in the woods. Adding to that the intense group dynamics and she knew he was on edge.

Sophia, clinging to Carol began to cry after seeing yet another body on the floor.

"Put a sock in that kid or I'll do it for you!" Daryl growled back at Carol.

"Daryl, lay off!" Danni hissed.

"I'm trying to keep us alive. You shut it too." He shot back.

She kicked him hard behind his knee almost sending him forward. "Watch it. I don't care where we are."

"Alright. barricade the front door, we'll do a sweep. " Rick said.

When she tried to follow him, Daryl said. "Stay here. They might need you."

He'd never done that before.

Danni and Andrea pulled a desk from the closest patient room and shoved it against the front door securing the mattress Dale had dragged over to cover its broken window. When she tried to thank Andrea for the help, she ignored Danni; looked right through her.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When the men returned from the sweep of the building, Rick addressed everyone. "Our best bet is the second floor. We've cleared all the rooms up there. We can barricade them if we need to. We'll be alright."

An exhausted, terrified Carol reached her limit. "Do you mean it this time or are you lying to us like all the times before?" She asked, crying.

"That's not fair." Lori said. " And not helpful."

Danni knelt by Carol. "Rick's doing the best he can. We'll be okay." She put her hand on Sophia's cheek. "Trust me okay, bug?"

Carol squeezed Danni's hand wanting to believe her.

Passing through the day room to reach the stairs to the second floor, Danni noticed that the bodies she was stepping over had gunshot wounds to the head.

"Daryl, look." She motioned to one cholo on the floor in front of them.

"I know. People did this." He said softly.

"What the hell happened?" Glenn was overcome by the devastation. He'd been here only a week before and seen G and his group make a valiant effort to survive.

"What do you think? They were over run." Andrea said authoritatively.

Daryl huffed dismissively.

"Got something to say?" Andrea asked him.

"Yeah, how bout **observant**."

"Observant. Big word from a guy like you. Three whole syllables."

"You know what, I am so sick of your attitude." Danni finally lost it and lunged at Andrea.

Daryl grabbed her waist and picked her up. "Not worth it." He said swinging her around back to him. He went on, "Walkers didn't **do** this. Geeks didn't show up 'til after all this went down. Somebody** attacked** this place. Killed all these people, took whatever they wanted. They're all shot in the head execution style. Y'all worried about Walkers, I'd be much more worried about the people who came and did all this."

He paused then glaring at Andrea added, "Get a dictionary. Look it **up**. Observant."

Danni followed him out of the room to check out the second floor. "These people are gonna get us killed if anything does." He complained.

She felt his struggle with the claustrophobic group atmosphere. He was agitated and running on all cylinders. She wanted to ask him if he was okay, but knew better.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

Darkness had fallen and everyone was sitting by candle light in one of the cleared upstairs rooms.

I'm hungry." Carl said.

"We came back here for what? Cough drops and garbanzo beans?" Daryl looked at the only items Rick was able to find in the ransacked kitchen and dispensary.

Shane opened his pack pulling out small bags of chips, pretzels and nuts.

"Salty snacks." Glenn observed.

"Courtesy of the CDC."

He tossed the bags to the kids, "Thought I'd be in my air-conditioned room having midnight snacks. Didn't know it would be dinner."

"And this." He pulled out a bottle of whiskey.

"That to share?" Daryl asked immediately, sitting beside him on the floor, remembering the freedom he felt last night.

Shane took a long drink then passed the bottle to Daryl who followed suit.

"Guys, go easy. This isn't the time." Lori scolded.

"Lori's right, don't forget where we are." Danni added.

Daryl nodded. "Yes ma am," and handed the bottle back to Shane, knowing shore leave was over.

Danni had noticed a chapel downstairs and she wanted to check it out. There might be extra candles. She'd like to have a surplus to take with them. She stood up and headed to the back of the room, where she saw some tall glass 7 day votive candles on a shelf. She began putting those candles in her bag. Rick joined her, handing her the last one.

"Danni, what you said back there at the CDC, about hope...thank you." Rick was earnest, his voice almost breaking with exhaustion. His face was ravaged with worry.

"Its how I feel."

"Really?"

She nodded and gave a half-smile. "I trust you Rick. I haven't trusted anyone in a really long time. I think you're doing right by us, don't worry about what anyone says." She thought of Carol's words earlier and knew they weighed heavily on him. "I sure as hell wouldn't want to be in your place, but I'll help you if can." She paused before adding, "Daryl will too."

Rick raised and eyebrow.

"I'll make him." She almost laughed.

Rick noticed when she smiled her hardness melted. He needed this morale boost.

"Who ever thought I'd be saying 'I trust you' to some hick, southern sheriffs deputy." She said sarcastically.

He smiled, shaking his head. "You're one to talk."

She shrugged and flashed him the heavy metal devil horn sign with her fingers.

They began laughing at the absurd situation.

"Seriously, Rick whatever you need, okay?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

Daryl sat on the top step taking the first watch shift. "Where are you going?" He asked Danni as she passed him on her way downstairs. When she stopped, turned and put her arms around his neck, he immediatley pushed them off of his shoulders. "Hey." His eyes darted around hoping no one had seen her. She understood and answered him,

"That little chapel. I bet there's a ton of candles. It would be good to have a supply." She answered him, not questioning his reaction to her affectionate gesture. She knew sex was one thing, private between the two of them but he was no less awkward with physical closeness in front of anyone else now, than the day they'd first met. It was like kissing a schoolboy at recess in front of his friends and having him push you away completely mortified. _What did you do that for? _His exact words after she'd kissed him for the first time.

He thought of telling her not to go or to wait until he could join her, but he knew she needed to get away from everybody as much as he did.

"Be careful. Got your knife?"

She nodded. "I won't be long."

As he watched her descend the stairs she turned and gave him a quick smile that tempered some of his agitation at being cooped up so closely with everyone.

"Sure you don't want any more?" Shane asked Daryl as he passed him at the top of the stairs. "Last call?" He held out the bottle of whiskey, now half gone.

"Nah, man I'm good. "

Shane seemed to doing a fine job downing it on his own.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

Danni walked the hall by candle light to the chapel. The hot stuffy air was thick, her body cutting through it like a knife. Shadows danced on the walls around her. She opened the chapel's door reading the script on the window: "Prayer Changes Things." She entered the room that once offered hope to the people who had lived here. She lit every votive on the small alter, bathing the room in warm magic light so she could see all the Mexican religious art on the walls. The beautiful portrait of Our Lady of Guadalupe, almost identical to her tattoo, was enormous.

She needed some time alone. She sat on one of the benches, looking at the flickering faces of Saints surrounding her. There had been no time to think or reflect at all since they'd left the CDC. The Empress card weighed heavily on her mind. She needed to focus more on its meaning.

Brigid taught her that the Empress in the tarot represents Danu, the great mother of the gods of Ireland. She is the Irish earth mother; the divine creator who birthed all things. Some called her the Celtic version of the greek goddess Demeter. Danni closed her eyes trying to remember her lessons. _Danu was considered as the mythic mother goddess of the Tuatha Dé Danann, the Celtic tribes that first invaded Ireland. Danu is an earth goddess. Ultimately, all the Irish Gods, can trace their lineage back to her. _

She couldn't remember much more. It was so long ago that she'd sat on Brigid's lap, listening to the legends, even being tested on them.

She reviewed the indications of the card.

_The Empress card and Danu herself, indicates a deep connection with your femininity and calls on you to connect with your feminine energy: beauty, sensuality, fertility, nurturing. The Empress highlights that you are grounded in the material plane needing this stabilising influence , yet you can reach into higher planes of consciousness through your connection with nature. You have the potential to connect between the Earth and the Universe. The Empress is a deeply nurturing and caring card. You are blessed by maternal, protective forces or influences. You are protected as well as protector._

She knew they were going back to the woods. Connecting with nature had never been on her top ten list. Time to add it.

Suddenly she felt someone's breath on her neck. She jumped up and turned to find Shane behind her.

"Scared the shit out of me. What are you doing here?" She asked.

"I'd ask you the same thing. You shouldn't be wandering around this place alone. We cleared it but, we don't know about all the ways in.'

"I can take care of myself." She assured him.

"Yeah, I bet you can."

She didn't like the tone of his voice or that he was still holding that whiskey bottle.

She tried to move past him, but he grabbed her arm.

"Just had a little talk with Daryl."

She froze.

"Don't worry, wasn't about that."

"You said you wouldn't tell him."

"I did, but never asked what its worth to you."

"What its worth?"

He grabbed her hand and put it on his groin, where she felt him start to harden.

She tried to take it back, but his grip on her wrist was secure.

"What are you willing to do to make sure I keep my mouth shut?"

"Not what you're thinking. Let go."

He didn't.

"I'm sorry about what happened before. It was a mistake." She added.

"Yeah, you said that. Mistake or not, I think Daryl might find it interesting."

"What do you want?"

"You, on your knees, right now."

"No way."

"Look I'm not asking you to fuck me, just suck me off. You do that, I'll keep my mouth shut.'

"I really didn't think you were such a bad guy. But this?"

It wouldn't mean anything; for a moment she considered just giving him what he wanted to keep him quiet. She felt disgusted with herself for even letting it cross her mind. Besides it would only work until the next time. He'd hold this over her forever if she let him.

He put his hands on her shoulders and started to push her down.

"Okay, take it easy." She appeased, kneeling before him.

He started to unbutton.

"Not so fast." She purred looking up." So you wanna fuck my mouth, huh?"

"Oh yeah."

"Think its gonna feel good?"

He grunted. "Bet a slut like you don't got no gag reflex."

He went for his zipper.

"Uh, Uh," She held his hand back. "Don't be in such a rush." She ran her fingers over the straining bulge under his pants. Her words, and teasing was getting him more excited than he thought he could without her even touching him yet.

"Let me take care of you."

'You're gonna swallow." He panted.

"If that's what you want."

His breath quickened when she said it.

Finally she put her hands on his hips. He closed his eyes, waiting for her to undo his pants and finally release him. If the build up was any indication, this was going to be worth it, he could tell.

Suddenly she was standing. She brought her right knee up fast, slamming his balls as hard as she could.

Shane felt like he had a migraine headache in his crotch with all its intense nausea. He cupped himself feeling as if his internal organs were being violently rearranged.

He fell, the wind knocked out of him. "You goddamned whore!" He could hardly say the words. His insides were twisted and crushed.

"Don't fuck with me again." She growled at him, moving the bangs from her eyes with a toss of her head.

"I'm gonna tell him!" Shane managed to get out.

"No, **I'm **gonna tell him." _No more secrets. _ "And he's probably going to** kill **you." She added looking at his pathetic form curled in a fetal position on the floor. She couldn't believe she'd ever thought he was a good guy.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Daryl was still on watch.

"Quiet?" She asked sitting beside him on the bottom step in front of the barricaded door.

"I can hear some outside, but they aint getting in. Thought you'd be a sleeping."

"I need to talk to you."

He let her go on.

"This is really hard."

He felt his gut clench and he sucked in his breath.

_Here it comes, let's just be friends. _

"We're together right?"

He let his breath out.

"Yeah. Ain't we? I mean, we are." He was still getting used to it.

She nodded and the words tumbled out. "Then I need to tell you about something and I don't want to hurt you, but its better if you hear it from me, because I know how you feel about everybody knowing our business, and I never want you blindsided. It was a mistake and I wish it..."

"Slow down." He stopped her, not really sure he wanted her to continue.

"The day we moved out from camp, I let Shane give me a ride after my van broke down."

When she mentioned the other man's name. Daryl's gut tensed again.

"We were drinking. He..."

"What did he do to you?"

"I let him touch me."

"Hell you mean, you let him?" He stood up.

"When you left me the night before, after we...I didn't care about anything. I thought I'd never see you again."

"So you fucked him?" He swallowed hard.

"No. Not that. I didn't do anything to him I swear."

"So what, you let him put his hands on you, down your pants or something?" He hated the thought, but knew that's what she was trying to say.

"Yeah, but I stopped him." She couldn't help but cry. "I didn't want to hurt you."

He was silent, clenching his fists.

"You kiss him?"

She nodded, looking away.

His body tensed while his breathing hastened, becoming harsher with rage. Merle would hit her. Merle would call her a cheating slut, force her down and do her from behind, knowing that it scared her. He wasn't Merle. He **had** left her that first time they'd been together so maybe he deserved this. He knew wasn't good enough for her. _"Hell, ya_**_ want_**_ from me Danni?" _He remembered his exact words from that night sounding harsher than he meant and how her face had shattered. He'd run out on her. He'd hurt her, so she needed to hurt him. He got that. _Why Shane_? She was **his**, the thought of Shane's hands on her anywhere made him hit the wall next to her head with his clenched fist. She jumped.

"We even now?" He asked her glaring down at her.

"I'm with you. I only want you."

"Danni, I don't want you ever goin' near him. Ever." It was a command.

She knew she was treading on dangerous ground, but she couldn't stop herself.

"Daryl, he's using it against me. He tried to force me to go down on him, just now, saying he'd tell you if I didn't."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. I knee'd him in the balls."

"That son of a bitch! Where is he?"

"The chapel."

She knew that he was going beat the shit out of Shane; he needed to do it, but she was frightened by how much she wanted him to and that she longed to watch.

When he started down the hall he didn't tell her not to follow.

Shane was still in the chapel, sitting on a bench licking his wounds. Daryl grabbed him, by his shirt yanking him up and then tackled him back over against the wall. He pulled his knife.

Shane pushed and ran Daryl straight back, slamming him to the ground. They struggled over the knife. Shane wrestled it away and tossed it aside. He hit Daryl's temple with the butt of his hand gun. Pain only increased Daryl's fury and propelled him back up from under the larger man. Blood was streaming down his face, blinding him in his left eye as he shoved Shane into one of the paintings on the wall pummeling his face with his fist. Danni was suddenly beside him putting the knife back in his hand. His good eye flashed at her and he held the blade it to the cop's throat.

"Touch her again, I'll gut you like the piece of shit you are. I will hunt you down and gut you like cattle!"

That's what I'd expect from somebody like you."

"Like me?"

"White trash, low life redneck! That's what I mean." Shane shot back.

The blood was making it harder for Daryl to see out of his left eye. He turned his body motioning to Danni as he spoke. "She wants **me** here. You know what Walsh, you had a hard on for her since day one and she don't want nothing to do with you. Don't feel too good does it?" He spat blood out of the side of his mouth. He lowered his knife and he stepped back. They were both breathing heavily and starting to feel the pain of their injuries.

"You sure about that?" Shane asked.

"Damn sure. You keep the hell away from her."

"What she tell you? I forced her? Lying slut, she wanted it."

"I meant what I said. I'll kill you."

"Yeah, you keep thinking that." Shane angrily laughed Daryl off. He was feeling drunker and still nauseated by Danni's earlier move. There would be a better time to finish this with Dixon. He backed off.

Daryl turned away from him finally allowing his face register pain, when only Danni could see it. He let her put her arm around his waist. She took a bandana from her pocket and held against his wound stopping the blood.

They left the chapel without looking back at Shane.

"What the hell happened to you?" T-Dog said before he could be pissed that Daryl had left the watch post.

Danni was helping Daryl, half his face covered in blood, up the stairs.

"Keep this quiet okay?" Danni asked as they passed.

"Yeah, whatever. You sure he's okay?"

"I got him, its fine."

She steered him into the first room on the right, so they wouldn't have to pass by the others sleeping further down the hall. There were some sheets and blankets in the corner. She pulled a few out, and laid them down. He sat while she took a bottle of water from her pack, wet the bandana and began washing the blood from his face. She was relieved that the wound by his temple was smaller than she'd expected from the amount of blood it had produced.

"Just missed your eye." She murmured.

He hadn't said a word to her since before the incident with Shane.

His strength had always bowed to her before. But tonight after the brutality something felt different. It confused and bothered her that Daryl's altercation with Shane turned her on. It felt wrong, but she couldn't help herself. No one had ever been there to look out for her like he was doing now. She didn't doubt he would kill for her and that made her feel weak with desire for him.

Daryl figured he should feel physically worse than he did after the brawl but finally getting into it with Shane had been right. His head hurt, but that was about it. He looked at Danni as she sat beside him, taking care of his wounds, and all he could think about was erasing the thought of Shane touching her. Or anyone else for that matter. He'd never started anything when they'd had sex, but tonight he needed to be the one.

"I want you now and I'm not asking. Stand up."

She did. He pulled her black tank top off over her head. She brought her hand up to unhook her bra, but he stopped her and reached around to do it himself, letting the piece of black lace it fall to the floor. After he unbuckled her belt and opened her jeans, he tugged them down and nodded at her to step out. He didn't touch her, just looked at her standing in front of him, in the flickering candle light. She trembled under his intense gaze as if his hands were on her. His eyes had that primitive look again, the one that sometimes scared her. He wasn't shy or hesitant tonight. She remembered how worked up he'd been all day.

She thought of the door to the room, unable to be closed entirely, broken off its hinges. The others were just up the hallway. After letting his eyes travel over her naked body several times, he placed her hands on his chest so she'd unbutton his shirt. She let her fingers linger on his burning skin for a moment before pushing his shirt off.

He startled her by shoving her back against the wall and hoisting her, supporting her entire body while her legs wrapped around his hips. He breathed against her neck and he let her fall onto him in one fluid motion. She gasped as he filled her. He bit her neck painfully, drawing blood, and thrust so hard he left her legs shaking and she almost lost their grip around him. He massaged her shaking thighs as he held her against him. The exhibitionism, the violence of the night and his forcefulness overwhelmed her senses. He was in control. He rocked her back and forth gently, then suddenly drove in forcefully. He repeated the sequence until she was barely aware of breathing. It wasn't long before she had to succumb but just as her climax began to wash over her, he stopped as if he knew. She whimpered in protest.

"Ask me." He rasped into her ear. "Like before."

"Fuck me, please." She knew he wanted her to say please. She writhed desperately against him, trying to keep the sensations coming. He moved in her again, but made her work for every wave of pleasure. His stopping and starting was unbearable; she bit his shoulder hard and begged him, almost crying.

"Open your eyes." He said, his voice pure gravel. "I want you lookin' at me."

She did. She begged him and looked at him, knowing she was his.

It was familiar somehow. It was her dream, but it was real this time.

When he finally allowed her to cum, her shuddering orgasm was too much for him, forcing him to finish a second later, feeling like he'd exorcised some demon. Still holding her thighs, he fell into her chest and the wall supported them. They stayed like that for what felt like forever until he finally let her down.

She would have slipped to the floor if he hadn't had his arm around her waist. He picked her up and carried the short distance to the blanket, placing her down, gently. She sat hugging herself, still weakened by the throes of what he'd just done to her body.

Daryl never held her afterwards and she didn't expect it now, so she leaned against him and took his arm, draping it over her shoulder herself. He left it there.

"Holy shit." Was all she could say.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

"What the hell happened to you?" Rick was incredulous to see Shane with his face beaten the next morning as he gathered everyone to check the day's plan. He got his answer when Daryl appeared with a gash over his eye and a bruised cheekbone.

"I don't want to know what you two got into, but it needs to end now." Rick hissed. "This is not the time or place. I need you two to keep it together!"

"Fort Benning's the consensus." Rick laid out the next move. "Now, we're wasting fuel driving so many vehicles we need to combine. We'll siphon the gas from the cars we aren't bringing and we'll use it for the RV and Cherokee. That's all we can take. It'll get us to the highway, out of the city."

"Screw that. I aint riding with all them." Daryl said. "Besides Merle would kill me if I left his bike." Daryl muttered, loud enough for Rick to hear.

"Let's get this done quick and move out." Rick directed.

Glenn and Shane kept watch while the group organized to leave. Shane was staying clear of Danni, but she'd seen him glare from a distance once or twice.

Danni noticed Daryl pitching in more this morning. He was calmer too. He helped T Dog to siphon all the possible gas and carry everyone's belongings to the RV.

She helped him roll the chopper off the bed of the pickup on the plywood ramp Merle kept in the truck for just that purpose

"You okay? Not walking so good today." He commented on his handiwork.

She hit his arm. "No thanks to you. Just fuck off. It's not funny."

Daryl straddled the bike. "Get on."

When she hesitated he added, "If you want."

"Don't you mean if I can?" She could hardly walk never mind sit on a motorcycle. After she eased herself down on the seat behind him and her arms circled his waist, he turned back. "Better, aint it?"


	23. Squirrel Bait

**_You're lost little girl_**

**_You're lost little girl  
You're lost  
Tell me who  
Are you?_**

_**I think that you know what to do**_  
_**Impossible? Yes, but it's true**_  
_**I think that you know what to do, yeah**_  
_**I'm sure that you know what to do**_

**_-The Doors/ performed by Siouxsie and the Banshees_**

_"You okay?" Danni found Stephen outside leaning on a barricaded fence contemplating the prison yard stretched out before him. Guard towers stood tall on either side of the near horizon, barbed wire topping the chain link. The sun was bright but weak, no match for the bitter chill of late autumn._

_"Your cheek...ouch." she reached up to touch the reddish-purple bruise beginning to swell. He had always towered over her at 6' 2". He winked._

_"Don't sweat it, Daryl's pissed at me. I get it, don't want no more lions around his watering hole. Understandable."_

_"He's just insecure." She drew in a sharp breath. "About me."_

_"Aint we all sweetheart?"_

_She smiled slightly._

_"He loves you." Stephen's voice was serious, no tough posturing._

_"I love him."_

_He nodded. "I know that too. Want my advice?" His eyes were as cool ice blue as Daryl's were fiery cobalt._

_"I don't know. Do I?"_

_"Sure you do. Remember, I'm your sensei in the blood sport of life. So, I'll lay it out. Keep it." He placed his palm flat on her stomach. "Things come to us when we're ready to handle them. What is just is. Accept. "_

_"I don't know if I am ready."_

_"You are, trust it girl. You'll be a good mom."_

_Her eyes questioned his calm certainty. She'd had no role model._

_"This is the right time."_

_He went on, "Sometimes we aren't meant to know somebody forever. Some journeys are meant to end. Know what I'm saying?"_

_"I think so."_

_"People leave your life to make room for new folks to come in. Letting go frees you up for that. Its like this: do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."_

_She put her head in her hands almost laughing. "You still into that Buddhist shit?" He could always charm her when he wanted to._

_He became serious again. "Don't shut Daryl out, right? And rememeber no glove, no love"_

_"Shit, we forgot last time." She felt panicky remembering their night in Atlanta._

_"You're okay for now, but don't be tempting fate; let it do its own thing."_

_"Wait, if I'm pregnant now why does it matter?"_

_He laughed. "You're not here** yet.**"_

Her eyes flew open and she stared at the ceiling of the RV. Not here yet. Where was here? She was always cold and it looked like a prison. Prison symbolized confinement, being trapped ,maybe lack of choices. The dream was weighty, physically pressing down on her chest. Talking with Stephen felt tangible and authentic. She thought of him as her second conscience. She'd laugh and give him shit about all his Eastern Philosophy, but in reality, he had grounded her. It was like he was coming back to help her. At least in her dreams. He was dead like everybody else she'd known. Another pregnancy dream. All spiritual bravado aside, she was having difficulty accepting. She was afraid. No denying it.

Without warning, her breath left her and she felt like someone had kicked her in the stomach. Danni shot up as everything came back to her. Desolate, highway graveyard; the road blocked by a dead sea of cars. They couldn't travel further past the overturned 18 wheeler across the highway. Sophia had panicked and scurried into the trees when the herd of Walkers had invaded and marched through. After hours of fruitless searching, she and Daryl laid down on the floor of the RV to rest for a minute, but as the night drew on and Rick and Shane hadn't returned from the second search shift, she had fallen into an exhausted, worried sleep.

Daryl wasn't beside her anymore. She found him outside leaning against the vehicle, looking at the stars in the night sky.

"Can't listen to her crying anymore." He explained referring to Carol, as Danni descended the steps.

She nodded. Looking up and pointing she asked, "See him?"

"The bear hunter?" He asked surprised.

She nodded "Fion mac Huill, my Nan called him. The greatest hunter and warrior in Irish legend."

They observed the formation of stars for a few long minutes. Danni had Sadhbh and Stephen's dream words _accept your fate _whirling in her head simultaneously with her worry over Sophia, making her agitated.

"Lets look some more, please?"

"Yeah, I need to get out of here." He agreed.

They walked side by side, following her flashlight's beam through the trees and brush a few yards in from the highway. Crickets chirped and the ground crunched as they tread over fallen branches. He had the crossbow in his hand by his side, rather than over his back, ready to raise it at the slightest noise.

"Do you think she's all right?" Danni asked sick to her stomach with worry.

"Course she is. She 's just lost. Aint the mountains of Tibet its Georgia. Least she's got people looking for her. "

He went on, his raspy voice softening. "Hell, **I** got lost. Didn't have nobody out searchin' for me. No one even knew I was gone."

"Parents?" she started to ask.

"Dad was on a 2 week bender with a some waitress and Merle was doin' another stint in juvie. I was out there eight days. Eating berries, wiping my ass with poison oak. Found my own way back though. Walked in the kitchen, made myself a sandwich. I was fine." He sounded proud, but dismissive of the fact that an eight year old never should have to go through something like that. "My ass itched something awful though."

"Poor baby," she said smacking it .

"Watch it."

"I wouldn't have minded being lost." Danni told him becoming serious. "I ran away a lot, but they always brought me back."

"Bad?" He asked, already knowing it was.

"It was okay before my Nana died. Even for a little while after that if my mom took off with a guy for a while we were fine; my little sister and me. Didn't need my mom."

She'd never mentioned a sister before. He couldn't help but think of Merle.

"Then she started marrying the sons of bitches and bringing them home. It was safer to leave. Especially after ..." she paused, he didn't press as usual.

"I lived on the streets for a while. I did anything I could to keep from going home." She stopped again, wanting to change the subject.

Daryl recognized the anger in her voice mimicking his own. He remembered her words at the CDC. "You're still here." He said, trying to comfort her. It was still new for him.

"Anything to get away." She went on. "I stayed in squats, dumpster dived. I lived under a bridge for a couple of weeks once. I **hated** that." She laughed. "I can't understand why you like being out here all the time." She motioned to the trees. "I prefer a roof and four walls even if it's in a condemned building, or a Motel 6 for gods sake. Never thought I'd be out in the woods like this." She slapped a mosquito on her neck.

"You're doin' all right." He said, feeling even more respect for her.

"You think?" She didn't bust him for the rare compliment.

"Scenery changed, but the game's still the same."

She gently hit his arm. "I do have the boots for it."

She knew it would be hard to keep up, living out here. Daryl got along fine in the woods by himself. He could hunt and track, he wasn't afraid of Walkers and he seemed to embrace this new existence. What made him stumble was people. He seemed so sheltered. She figured this was the largest group of people he'd ever been around. She couldn't help him out in the woods, but she could do her best to help him in the circle of people.

"Danni, we'll find Sophia.** I'll** find her." He voice was soft but unfaltering.

"I know you will."

She believed in him. He was starting to get used to it.

She stopped and moved a hand to push the hair off of his forehead. She knew he'd let her touch him now, out here, where they were alone. Only when they were alone. Her fingers came to rest lightly at the base of his neck, and she drew his face closer to hers. He reached around behind her, slipping a hand under her shirt. She was enjoying the sensation of his right palm pressing on the skin of her back when it suddenly jerked her hard against him making her gasp. She softly bit his lower lip, but he was having no part of her gentleness. They hadn't had moment alone in over 24 hours. His face was rough against her cheeks and his mouth hungry for hers as he kissed her aggressively, stealing all her breath, making her light-headed. She heard the cross-bow hit the ground and his left hand gripped the hair at the back of her neck so she couldn't pull her head away, even if she wanted to. She didn't. Just as they were reaching the point of no return, two aggressive, snarling Walkers shuffled into Daryl's peripheral vision

"Motherfuckers." He stepped back from Danni muttering. He picked up his bow and gave the first one an arrow between the eyes. When the next interloper started toward them, its gurgling growls extra loud, he shot it in the side of the head saying "Shut up!" frustrated, knowing the moment was over.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When they returned to the RV Danni saw everyone gathered around only Shane.

"Where's Rick?"She asked feeling dread in her chest.

Daryl positioned himself next to, but slightly in front, acting as much like a barrier between Shane and Danni as possible while they listened to his explanation.

"Fine, Rick is fine. I was just telling everyone its the damnedest thing, but we met a woman, just rode up to us on a horse. She lives with her family on a farm, not far from here. Its fenced, they have food, wells for water. It sounds safe. Rick went with her to see if they will take us in. At least while we look for Sophia. He'll be back soon as he can."

When Shane finished his explanation, Daryl moved her away from his vicinity. They ended up on the open back door of the Cherokee for the rest of the night. He sat with her head in his lap, neither of them sleeping or even talking, just looking for formations in the stars.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next morning Rick had yet to return. While Daryl was out heading the search for Sophia, Danni decided to scavenge cars for water, food, anything that could be useful. He was better at tracking than she'd ever be so she trusted and left the search up to him. She felt Lori's eyes bearing down on her as she got ready to head down the hot asphalt road, acutely aware of the disgusted look the woman threw her. Danni believed that being practical was more important than being sentimental. Lori was trying to inhabit a world that didn't exist anymore. Danni had always lived hand to mouth. She had learned early on that you had to take what you could when you could because there always comes a time when you can't get anything. It was certainly no different now.

She tied her hair up in a red bandana and knotted her t-shirt just under her ribs. She was buckling her belt one more notch in now. She needed to try to eat more. Even if it was disgusting roasted squirrel.

She numbed her mind to the sight of the corpses in the cars showing various stages of decay and blocked their stench by trying to breathing through her mouth. She focused on putting what she could salvage into the spare duffel bag she lugged with her. Bottled water, energy bars, toiletries like soap and tooth paste were all good scores. She silently thanked the spirits of the people in these cars. Opening the back door of a Red Ford Explorer, she halted at the sight of a child's empty car seat unable to move past it. The bag lying beside it was full of toddler clothing for a girl. Picking up itty- bitty pink and purple t-shirts with Hello Kitty and Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony imprinted on them, made her smile and blink back tears simultaneously. She gathered up piece after tiny piece, folding each one tenderly, as if in a trance. How could anything alive be so small? The tiny shirts, and dresses seemed like doll clothing.

_The early morning house was dark and quiet. Mom had either left for her pre dawn shift at the 24 hour diner or passed out in bed with some guy from the night before. Danni, still in her pajamas, sleep not yet gone from her eyes, crept to the small bureau she and Tara shared to pick out an outfit for her younger sister to wear that day. Tara was always excited when she woke up, surprised and thrilled by the choices the faeries made for her, unaware that it was actually Danni laying the outfits across the bottom of her bed. She was already three, but didn't want to find her own clothes. She preferred this special game which had developed due to necessity from to their mother's neglect. If six-year old Danni didn't dress and feed her sister no one would have. Making everything a magical game kept Tara from being afraid. That was all that mattered to Danni. After laying out the tiny pink t-shirt and unbelievably small jeans or shorts, she'd head to the kitchen, fingers crossed, hoping to find enough milk left in the carton for their breakfast cereal. _

Her reverie was abruptly interrupted by a frantic, high-pitched howling. A baby? No it was an animal. Dropping a tiny sundress, Danni headed toward the front of the vehicle after the screaming. The mewing was coming from underneath the engine.

She popped the hood and saw a black kitten hiding in the small space between the engine and hood. It stopped crying when it saw her. She gently reached in and pulled the baby out. Checking under its tail, she said "Hello, little man." She put him on the ground and crouched down. He bombard her with long piercing, pathetic meows until he was back in her arms.

She listened for more cries, making sure he didn't have brothers or sisters hiding nearby or a momma cat lurking in the vicinity. "OK my, little familiar." She said jokingly. "Lets go."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

"Find anything good?" Carl asked as Danni reached the RV. She dropped the heavy duffel from her shoulder. "Yeah, some water, soap, cans of beans and this."

She extended her elbow and Carl saw the kitten in the crook of her arm.

She'd never seen him so excited. The kitten started to cry when she handed him to Carl, but quieted as Danni rubbed its cheek with her forefinger.

"He's hungry." She noticed.

"What are we going to feed him?" Carl was all over the baby animal.

"Meat." Cats are true carnivores, this little thing could eat like a wild cat.

"You're gonna feed that? That thing could feed us." Daryl had to put his two cents in. "Well in a year or so, too small now to get anything off the bones."

Danni realized he was back but without Sophia. Her heart sank.

"Shut up." She said it distractedly, not really trying to bust him. She looked up, switching gears.

"Daryl, I need you to go get some squirrel or rabbit. Rabbit, actually, that would be better." She knew some commercial cat food contained rabbit.

"So I'm taking orders now? Think I'm y'all's waiter?" He complained.

Danni stared at him wordlessly. Her eyes, widening with urgency, told him all she needed him to know.

"I'll be back." He'd just returned from searching the woods all morning and although dirty and exhausted, he turned right around. He'd do anything for her.

Before setting out once again, Daryl watched her sitting cross-legged cradling the tiny kitten in her arms. He saw what she looked like as a kid. Her face showed a light he'd never seen before.

"Lets name him Lucky, or Shadow." Carl suggested excitedly.

"Those are really good names, but I think we should let Sophia name him, when she gets back." Danni decided.

'Me too." Carl agreed seriously. "Definitely. Sophia's gonna love him."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

Daryl returned a while later with the rabbit Danni wanted.

"Okay, now skin it or whatever it is you do. And cut the meat in small pieces, shred it if you can." She spoke quickly.

He was hiding a smile as she ordered him around not knowing what the hell she was talking about. _Whatever it is I do, huh?_

"Awful bossy today."

She did it again, just bore into him with her enormous, urgent eyes.

The kitten was in her arms, not making a sound, staring hard at him the same way.

He took the rabbit to the side of the road by the woods to skin and gut it._ Cut the meat in small pieces, shred it. "_Yes ma am." he said aloud.

After the kitten had eaten a good amount, Danni and Carl played with him, sitting on the ground in the shade of the RV, holding a shoelace up, watching him leap and run in an awkward first attempt at becoming a mighty hunter.

Daryl leaned against the side of the camper, cleaning and sharpening the knife he'd just used, watching them. "Squirrel Bait's jumping pretty high there." He commented using his new name for the kitten. "If it just stopped tripping over its own damn feet it might make something of itself some day."

"Squirrels don't eat meat." Danni commented, still focusing on the cat. She was right, they usually didn't, he just liked the sound of the nickname. He was glad for this distraction. The search for Sophia was taking longer than he wanted it to and made him worry about Danni. She'd taken to that little kid. Hell, he felt like he owed Sophia something himself. If he hadn't talked to her the night he'd brought Andrea back, he'd never had known Danni was out in the woods. Might never have found her again.

About an hour later, Rick drove up in an ancient, faded blue pickup truck with a girl, probably in her early to mid twenties. Exiting the truck and approaching, he looked triumphant, almost more relieved than Danni had ever seen him. He gathered the group to announce what he felt was the best news they had in a long time.

"This is Maggie Greene." Rick introduced the tall woman, her light brunette hair fell just to her chin which she held high increasing her guarded expression.  
"Her father is going to let us stay at their farm, on the property. Its fenced, which makes it fairly safe from Walkers. We can set up, have a base to search for Sophia."

"We have maps too." Maggie added in a heavy Georgia drawl. "It might help. We're all real sorry to hear about the little girl. My dad couldn't say no to y'all after hearing what happened."

"Anything to get off the road." Glenn said wearily.

They packed up yet again, to follow Maggie back to their latest haven.

Danni zipped the kitten up against her chest, in the front of her hoodie, then got on the bike behind Daryl. The tiny thing didn't flinch when he kick started the thundering engine.

They hadn't travelled far when they hit the turn off to a picturesque white southern farm-house, with a wrap around porch, in the distance. The scene took Danni's breath away. It looked like something out of southern gothic novel.

Then something else caught her eye. "Daryl stop!" She yelled over the rumbling engine and shook his arm motioning him to pull over.

She dismounted, kitten still secure under her jacket and jogged back a few feet to two intersecting roads midway between the street and the farm. A crossroad. She stood in the center then crouched down to gather dirt. She put a handful in her jacket pocket. She returned to Daryl sitting on the bike, a patient, tolerant expression on his face.

"Crossroad dirt." She explained matter of factly.

"More conjure stuff?"

She nodded. "You hardly ever come across crossroads that aren't paved over anymore."

"Dirt, huh? What do you do with dirt?"

"It's not regular dirt. I dug it from the center of the crossroad which means its sacred. You use it to help make big decisions. Mix it with some other herbs and stuff. Keep it with you".

Being an Irish Traveller, Nana Brigid had crossroad dirt from all over the country. Danni remembered the mason jars, holding the sacred dirt, labeled with the town, state and date.

He shook his head, not in a dismissive fashion, but with mild amusement. He stroked his scruffy chin. "Whatever you need to do."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

The kitten had taken to either sitting on Danni's left shoulder or laying across both shoulders behind her neck like a stole. He seemed to want his head near her face all the time. Now he was her scarf as they stood gathered before Herschel Greene.

Herschel was a southern gentleman farmer almost to the point of being cliché. White hair and bushy eyebrows, suspenders and kind eyes. He stood on his porch, flanked by his two daughters and son in law sizing up the ragged bunch of people before him. Again, making Danni think of a William Faulkner novel. He and Rick had struck a bargain on the logistics of letting them all camp on his land.

The group established itself on the edge of one of his fields under a small grove of trees. Dale parked the RV just where the grove ended. It was similar to the camp by the quarry. The fire pit was at the center of the circle of tents.

Dale asked Carol to stay in the RV wanting her to have physical comfort while worry and grief ravaged her emotions.

.ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo

Danni felt useless as Daryl began to pitch the tent. He was going too fast for her to learn or even see what was doing.

"Why are we setting up so far from the rest of them?" She asked.

"You know why."

_Shane._

She nodded.

"Let me help with something."

"Nah, you'll just slow me down." He dismissed her.

Daryl was in his element. He enjoyed doing all the work by himself, having her watch and see how accomplished he could be. He wasn't a loser out here. This is where he would shine and she'd see it. She'd need him to hunt, not just for the two of them, but for that scruffy little rug rat of an animal she was so attached to now.

As he dug out the pit for the fire, he glanced over, watching as she sat on the ground, kitten on her shoulder, hunched over her notebook, writing. Glossy black hair framed her face in two loose braids setting off the paleness of her cheeks. He didn't know why she wasn't getting more color, being out in the sun so much. Her bangs were growing over her eyes and she kept pushing them to the side with the back of her hand, between penning words. Sometimes he wanted to know what she was always writing in that book of hers, but he never asked. Maybe someday. Would she even want him to know?

Danni silently read one of her favorite quotes: _We all in this world need something to cling to for a center of calm. -Sylvia Plath_

"I'm going with you tomorrow to look for her." Danni announced, breaking the silence.

"You keep up and do what I tell you then."

"Of course." She gave a wry smile.


	24. I Put A Spell On You

**_If you are curious to hear the song "Silver Stallion" listen to the version by Cat Power-its the one in my head for this whole chapter :)_**

**_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooo_**

_**I'm gonna find me a reckless man**_

_**Razor blades and dice in his eyes**_

_**Just a touch of sadness in his fingers**_

_**Thunder and lightning in his thighs**_

_**And we're gonna ride we're gonna ride**_

_**Ride like the one eyed Jack of diamonds**_

_**With the devil close behind**_

_**-Cat Power**_

As the he afternoon was came to an end the sun was low and the sky burnished pink on the horizon, indicating another bright, hot day in store for tomorrow. Danni heard the snap of twigs and scuffle of leaves behind her. She figured Daryl was back with an arm full of firewood, so when she turned and looked up from her writing, Dale surprised her.

"What are you doing way up here?" She asked smiling.

"What about you young lady. Why so far from the rest of us?"

"Daryl... I...we just need more space than most people." She explained.

"Are you sure it doesn't have anything to do with Shane?" Dale never beat around the bush. "I saw their faces the other morning. Looks like those two went a few rounds."

"They're not exactly friends."

"Can you tell me what happened? I don't want to pry, but Andrea's getting awfully close to Shane and I'm worried."

"She should be careful."

"Care to elaborate?"

"No. But I can tell you he presents himself one way, like this good guy, you know? But he's not."

Dale nodded. "I thought so. He's hiding something."

His expression lightened and he added. "I also came to give you this."

Danni had wondered why he was carrying an acoustic guitar with him.

"And I thought you came to serenade me." She joked.

"I'm afraid 'On Top of Old Smokey' would be the most you'd get out of me." He laughed. "Its something I found on the highway yesterday. I thought you'd be the one who'd appreciate it most."

"Thanks Dale, really. I had to leave everything with my van. I never thought I'd see another guitar." She took it, feeling almost giddy.

"Dale, one more thing." Danni stopped him. "Shane takes advantage of pain; of loneliness. Watch out for Andrea, I know she's still messed up about Amy and he'll use it against her."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooo

It had been too long since she'd held a guitar in her hands. After Dale left, she sat on the ground and placing her fingers on the fifth fret began tuning each steel string, feeling as if a piece of her body had returned. She'd found a missing limb.

She began delicately strumming the D chord and moved slowly to B minor, repeating the sequence, then holding down B, to A and, at E, began singing.

Her voice, low and soft initially, became stronger with each line as it found itself again, a dulcet and smoky thing with a grit that evoked '60s soul singers. She continued to strum and pick the E, B, B minor to A chord sequence.

_I'm gonna steal a silver stallion_

_With not a mark upon his silky hide_

_Teach him he can trust me like a sister_

_One day We'll saddle up and ride._

"What do you think Squirrel?" The kitten had stopped chasing insects and seemed to listen. "I gotta get warmed up."

At the chorus she played C minor followed by A then B minor and picked up the pace.

_And we're gonna ride, we're gonna ride_

_Ride like the one eyed Jack of diamonds_

_With the devil close behind_

_We're gonna ride, _

_w__e're gonna ride_

_I'm gonna find me a reckless man_

_Razor blades and dice in his eyes_

_Just a touch of sadness in his fingers_

_Thunder and lightning in his thighs_

_And we're gonna ride we're gonna ride_

_Ride like the one eyed Jack of diamonds_

_With the devil close behind_

_We're gonna ride_

_ We're gonna ride_

_I'm gonna chase the sky forever_

_With the man and the stallion and the wind_

_The sun is gonna burn into a cinder_

_Before we ever pass this way aga_in...

(Silver Stallion/ Lee Clayton)

Daryl stopped short, listening to her sing. He'd never heard her before, even though he knew that's what she did. Her voice was beautiful; the achingly sad, low and steady tone sent small shivers down his spine. When she finished the song, he entered their camp area. He dropped and began arranging the kindling. Pretending he hadn't heard a thing, he said "I got more rabbit for Squirrel Bait. I 'll get it ready for him." As if understanding, the kitten galloped clumsily over to Daryl and began chewing on his shoelaces.

She was about to lay the guitar down, when, without stopping his work, he said, 'I liked that song. Play it again. If you want."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo

Only two days had passed since they'd been alone, but felt like forever to Daryl. Now that he'd been having her regularly he couldn't get enough, as if he were making up for all those years when he wasn't able to get it right. She'd brought a lion out of him and there no putting it back in the cage now. The more comfortable he became with her body, the more his confidence grew and he felt safe enough to try anything with her. He wanted to make her feel the way she made him feel as if under a spell, completely powerless. He'd brought her there the other night, in Atlanta, and he liked having her at his mercy, begging.

Waiting had made him more aggressive and remembering the interruption the day before, he was desperate.

She lay on her back beside him in the dimly lit tent, eyes closed, breathing evenly. Watching her sleep created an ache in his chest, knowing she was somewhere he couldn't go. He put his hand on her abdomen letting it rise and fall with each breath. Just touching her made him stir. His lips found her ear, waking her gently. When her eyes had opened and she touched his face, he sank his teeth down into the tender flesh of her neck just above her shoulder. She flinched but he off set the pain by forcing his tongue and hot breath into her ear. While licking and sucking on the fresh bite mark, he worked her tank top up and off and she responded by pushing forward. Seconds later his hands were on her breasts which were already aching. He rubbed his thumbs over her sensitive nipples, a direct line of pleasure to her clit. His hand worked its way under fabric of the boxers she slept in, practically tearing them off. He found her already getting moist. She sighed, moving her hips forward so his fingers were against her sex and he'd start. Every part of her felt over sensitized. He gently stroked and held her clit between two fingers, remembering what she'd shown him. He massaged her, working it with his fingers, watching her expression. When she closed her eyes and held her breath, he took his hand away, making her groan in frustration. She grasped his fingers and placed them back where she needed them, her thighs clamping around his wrist.

"Uh, Uh." He forced her legs apart with one knee and again removed his hand. He pulled his shirt of without taking the time to unbutton it, and went back to kissing and gently biting around the sparrows. She grabbed his hair and pulled him up toward her wanting to see his eyes. When she drew his face close trying to put her mouth on his, he refused her and moved back down her torso, licking her abdomen, sucking on her navel ring, taking his time. Then his tongue was between her legs, between her folds. He wanted to make her cum this way first. He lapped and sucked on her sensitive nub, gauging his speed and pressure by her reactions. He held her down when she tried to buck and arch her back. Suddenly, she tried to move away from his mouth feeling an antagonizing pleasure that she feared she couldn't handle.

"I , I can't...its too much. I..." She was almost crying.

He heard her, but he grasped her hips, immobilizing her as the first wave moved in, starting deep in her pelvis below her navel then surged further below. She ached with a pulsing pleasure that teased and tormented her, threatening to end at any moment but never quite letting up. Her hands caught in Daryl's hair attempting to push him away while he just pulled her closer. This tension was unbearable but increased the power of the climax which kept moving through her as if it would never end.

When she went limp and began to pant and catch her breath, he pulled back, knowing. He began a slow journey up her body to her mouth, finally bringing her in for a rough kiss as she pulled at his belt. He liked feeling her unbuckle it and tug his zipper down. _Finally_. "Ready?" He asked her staring into her eyes, watching her expression.

All she could do was chew on her bottom lip, Her eyes told him she was.

"Want to make you cum again, this way." He rasped, entering forcibly, without warning, causing her to gasp. After a few of his hard thrusts, she wrapped her legs around his hips, bracing herself as he continued to thrust inside of her. "Aw, fuck Danni..." He groaned, unable to help himself as he quickened his pace. He grabbed her hip with one hand, pulling her up to his own. Hearing his deep, breathy groans and her name in gravel brought on her second wave. She began to spasm, setting him off. They reached oblivion together. He collapsed on top of her breathing heavily.

She wasn't able to do anything but curl up and press against him as hard as she could, trying to recover. He took her breath but gave her more life every time he fucked her. They gave each other more of themselves every time.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo

"Why don't we just leave from here? Don't see why we gotta go down there." Daryl, huffed at her as she finished getting dressed.

"I want to see Carol. And I need Carl to watch Squirrel." She refused to add Bait to the nickname. "C'mon."

He shook his head, but followed her down to the main camp. He walked a few steps behind liking how her legs looked in denim cutoffs, her boots accentuating her toned calves and the way her belt hugged her hips. She piled her hair in a loose, messy bun that elongated her delicate neck now wrapped by that cat again.

"I feel like I'm dragging you." She noticed he was lagging behind.

"You are."

"Hurry up."

Rick's expression was as relieved and welcoming as Shane's was hostile and disappointed seeing Daryl beside Danni advancing toward the half circle of tents. Daryl bristled at Shane's mere presence and the two men glared at each other, their hostility palpable. One of the reasons he didn't want to come down here was that just seeing Shane made him remember what she'd done.

"Daryl, good, you're here." Rick said holding a rolled surveyor's map wanting to break the obvious tension. He motioned for him to follow to the Cherokee where he would unfurl the huge map on the hood.

Danni caught Rick's eye and nodded with a half-smile. Then she headed to the campfire for breakfast doing her best to stay away from Shane as she promised.

Daryl was noticeably uncomfortable being singled out, especially when Rick said "I was hoping you'd head up the search."

His instinct was to say no, but before he could, Rick added, "You know the woods better than any of us."

Daryl stepped forward and leaned over the hood of the truck to study the topographical map with familiarity, in his element again. Rick recognized his ability; he believed he could do this. As he began pointing out particular areas he thought were best to focus the search, Shane stalked a few feet away, disgusted that Rick was actually listening to Daryl.

"I 'm gonna take a horse. Cover more ground that way. I wanna check out this canyon. It's a straight shot from the creek where we lost her trail." Daryl told Rick.

"Clear it with Herschel."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo

Carol was at the campfire cooking eggs that Maggie had brought from the chicken coop. She sat beside Glenn, eating. Danni noticed the two of them becoming closer just since yesterday.

Initially she worried about Carol doing all this work, but understood she needed activity to keep her mind off her missing daughter.

"Carl, I'm going out to look for Sophia today." Danni told the boy, sitting beside him.

"I want to come look too."

"But someone has to watch Squirrel. I was hoping you would."

"Oh yeah, if you want me to,"

"He really likes you and I trust you one hundred, million percent."

She put Squirrel in his lap and the kitten immediately started eating from his plate. When Carl laughed, Lori smiled, happy to see him acting like a kid again.

As soon as Danni looked up from her own breakfast, Andrea stood dramatically and left the circle. Danni noticed her join Shane over by the RV.

_Teaming up against me huh? _She thought of her conversation with Dale and felt a mixture of pity for Andrea and hope that Shane had his sites on a new target.

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo_

As Daryl mapped out the areas where Rick and Shane would be searching, Shane shouted over to Rick. "I can't believe this. You taking orders from him? I can't, I won't do it." He walked away, Andrea by his side.

Before Rick could apologize for his friend he heard Daryl say, "Douche bag." He knew it wasn't necessary.

"I'll take T., Shane might be better here anyway, if anything happens with security." Rick explained. Daryl was glad Danni was going with him. He didn't want her here alone with that guy.

"You know Daryl, I 'm glad to have your help, but don't owe us anything."

"Are we just chatting or is there a point you're gonna get to?"

Rick nodded, "I'll get T and head out. We'll meet back here late afternoon."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

Again Danni felt useless as Daryl lugged a cumbersome saddle from a saw horse and heaved it on the mare. He saddled and bridled the horse like it was second nature to him.

"Now yours."

"Mine?"She scrunched up her nose and took a deep breath.

"You never been on a horse before?"

"Pony rides at the Minnesota state fair count?"

"Not really." He snorted.

"Well, I bet you'd suck at roller derby."

"You did that?" He asked, intrigued. He'd always thought Derby girls were tough and pretty hot.

"On a team for a while. Angela Death. That was my name. You know like angel of death."

_Yeah, hot. _"I get it. But a horse, its like the bike, You said you ride." He shook her roller derby queen picture out of his head.

"Yeah but a motorcycle doesn't move on its own."

"Do you want to do this or not? You asked me to come. Not the other way 'round."

She knew he had snapped at her because Rick was depending on him. He felt conflicted; proud but worried he couldn't come through.

"Maybe I'll just stay here after all."

He shrugged. "You'd slow me down anyhow."

'You are such a bastard sometimes."

His slight smile faded fast when he realized Shane we be around here all day as well.

He became serious. "Just make sure you stay away..."

"I** know**." She cut him off, too defensive, feeling stung.

"Just saying."

"You don't have to.'

"No?"

"You haven't forgiven me, have you?" She looked at his stony face. "You said you did, but you haven't."

As hard as he tried, he couldn't completely erase the picture of Shane all over her. It flashed in his mind without warning when he least expected it.

"You don't know what you're talking about." He didn't want to get into this with her.

"What else do I have to do?"

He turned to the horse, starting to lead it forward.

"What do you think is gonna happen anyway?" She began to get angry, realizing he didn't trust her.

He took a couple more steps forward, coaxing the horse.

"Don't walk away, answer me!" She grabbed his arm. He shook her off and turned.

"Hell you think you are, telling me what to do? You're the one that let some guy put his hands all over you, so don't be acting high and mighty with me!"

She was right, he hadn't forgiven her yet.

She shook her head, eyes full of the pain of his mistrust and her own deep regret. Seeing her face, he knew she was sorry. He immediately wished he could take it back but it was too late. He wanted to apologize, to hold her and say he was sorry, but all he could manage was "I gotta go, losing the morning."

They wouldn't have hugged goodbye under the best of circumstances, it wasn't his thing, never mind now.

"Find her, okay?" Was all she said, turning away.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

Danni's gut churned as she sat restlessly in their tent unable to concentrate. She hated that he didn't trust her, but she didn't regret telling him the truth. Her anger battled the guilt she felt over entire thing, spinning her thoughts in useless circles. She supposed they'd fight it out later when he returned. She picked up her notebook spilling her Tarot card on the sleeping bag. The entire deck landed face down except for one card. The Knight of Cups lay reversed staring up at her.

_The Knight of Cups reversed allows his emotions to control his life too much. The Knight may be moody, jealous or emotional to the point of incapacity. He may jump to conclusions before getting all the facts. When this card appears reversed either look at yourself and at how you are acting, or realise that the person involved may be acting from his emotions rather than from any form of logic._

_The Knight of Cups reversed indicates a situation which was initially incredibly appealing, romantic and exciting but which later turns out to be something very different_.

Daryl was probably the most emotionally repressed person she'd ever known. She understood their relationship was bringing up feelings with which he had no skills to deal. Of course he was angry; that was easier than feeling hurt. She'd seen it that day on the roof when Merle was gone. Daryl's rage masked his pain and fear, but only to a point. She'd viewed it in his eyes: anger was easy but fear and pain unacceptable.

She understood, but that didn't fix anything. The card just joined the other thoughts circling in her head.

_Stop thinking! Now!_

She wasn't much of a camper and she'd never really been very domestic since living on her own as an adult, but looking at Daryl's minimal pile of filthy clothes and smelling them, she decided to do laundry. Her own, too, for that matter. Neither of them were really keeping up with it. She'd stay busy for the rest of the day. She carried a duffel of their dirty clothing down to the main camp. Carol approached her, still looking shocked.

Danni squeezed her hand. "Up for some laundry? She asked. "I have a bunch so you're welcome to throw yours into the wash tub."

"Sure."

"Um, where is the wash tub? And the water for that matter?"

Carol couldn't help but smile a little. "Have you done laundry around here yet?

"No. But how hard can it be?"

"I'll get you set up." Carol needed to mother someone and she sensed that Danni needed some nurturing from time to time.

"You really don't mind? I'm not much of a domestic goddess, as you can probably tell." She tugged on loose strands of hair, twisting them around her finger.

"Maybe we can fix that. Come on." Carol said leading her to the well.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

While they scrubbed on the washboard Danni asked what Carol thought of the farm.

"Rick finally came through. Once we find Sophia, I think it would be a good place to settle. Food, water, space. The Greenes are good people. And since Herschel is a veterinarian there is even some medical care for us. We could start a sort of home schooling plan for Carl and Sophia. I think Sophia will like it here. Don't you"

'Yes, definitely. " She looked over at Carl helping Squirrel as he learned to climb a tree. She couldn't wait until Sophia was back to name the kitten. Squirrel Bait was ridiculous. She thought of Daryl and smiled but only until she remembered how they had left things that morning.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Danni had just finished hanging all the clean clothing out to dry, when a loud gunshot cracked the air. She looked toward the roof of the RV where it originated. She saw Andrea had taken the shot. She must have seen a Walker enter the perimeter. But who the hell gave her a gun?_ Shane._

"What's going on?" Herschel started toward the RV. He had made it clear to Rick he didn't want shooting on his property. Soon everyone was on their way to the field.

As Danni ran closer to see if she could help, her heart dropped to her stomach and her legs almost buckled under her. Shane and Rick were dragging a filthy, bloody, lifeless Daryl through the pasture. Danni believed he was dead.

She watched herself running in slow motion. She reached them unable to speak or ask what happened.

"He's unconscious, alive, but unconscious." Rick told her. breathing heavily. "I don't know what happened to him out there."

"He sure got a warm welcome home though, Andrea shot him." Shane added.

Danni turned to see Andrea running toward them.

"Oh my God. It's Daryl! I'm so sorry is he okay?" She asked breathlessly.

"No he's not no thanks to you!" Danni finally lost it with Andrea. She leapt at her and pushed. Soon the two of them were shoving and hair pulling.

"Shane! " Rick motioned for him to break up the fight. He didn't need to bring more than one of his injured party to Herschel's door now. Shane draped Daryl on to Glenn's shoulders and headed over to the two women.

"You shot him? You dumb bitch, who the hell let you have a gun anyway? What do you think this is a game?" Danni shouted as they hit the ground.

Instead of pulling the women apart, Shane stood watching, placing his bets on Danni. When Andrea ripped the front of Danni's thread bare t-shirt, exposing her black bra Shane found himself wishing for bikinis and mud, enjoying the cat fight.

"You bitch, this t-shirt is vintage!" Danni screamed at her, only to be silenced by Andrea's fist solidly hitting her mouth; She tasted blood. She immediately punched the other woman's cheek bone stunning her. When Andrea grabbed a handful of Danni's hair and tried to knee her in the stomach, screaming, "You killed my sister you junkie whore!" Shane finally intervened, slowly.

"Come on tiger," He said pulling Andrea up.

"Stay away from me, from him or I will kill you!" Danni threatened, still overcome with rage, tasting her own blood.

"Sounds familiar." Shane commented. "Maybe you and that low life do belong together after all."

He put his arm around Andrea and walked her toward the RV.

Danni tied the front of her T-shirt together over her bra into a halter. _She ruined my Black Flag shirt. You can't get these anymore. _She realized how stupid that sounded when Daryl could be dying.

She pulled a red bandana from her back pocket and spit in it so she could wipe the blood off her mouth. As she walked toward the house, she put her hair back up, fastening the loosened bobbi pins.

Walking through the front door of the farm-house, Danni ignored Lori's raised eyebrows seeing her torn, tied t-shirt and cut lip. Lori directed her to a back bedroom. When she tried to enter, Rick blocked her and walked her back to the hall.

"Is he..."

"He's unconscious." Rick explained. "Herschel thinks he'll be fine, the bullet just grazed him. But he's got some nasty wounds from something else. He got himself in trouble out there today."

She felt devastated that she'd let him go after fighting the way they had. She might have lost him and their last moments together had been accusatory. She hadn't looked at him or even said goodbye.

"I need to see him." She pleaded full of regret with how they'd treated each other earlier.

"Rick led her into the cool, quiet bedroom, where Herschel was putting the last wrap on a bandage around Daryl's waist. He' already bandaged his head.  
"If I had any idea I'd be going through my antibiotics so fast..." Herschel finished the thought with, "It's a wonder you people have survived this long."

She stood over Daryl's sleeping form, grateful for each breath he drew.

"Well, we'll leave you now. If He wakes up, come get me." Herschel said before leaving with Rick.

It was past dusk now and the room was lit by a small oil lamp on the bedside table. Danni pulled a wing chair from the corner moving it between the side of the bed and the window. She sat, her legs over the arm of the chair, alternating her gaze between Daryl and the night sky.

She quietly sang Silver Stallion again, more to herself than him.

_i'm gonna steal a silver stallion_

_With not a mark upon his silky hide_

_Teach him he can trust me like a sister_

_One day We'll saddle up and ride_

_And we're gonna ride we're gonna ride_

_Ride like the one eyed Jack of diamonds_

_With the devil close behind_

_We're gonna ride_

A knock on the door stopped her. Carl poked his head in and then entered, bringing Squirrel to her. "We had a really good day, but think he missed you."

"Awe thanks so much Carl."

"Is Daryl okay?"

"He will be." Danni put the kitten on the bed beside Daryl's head. He sat in a Sphinx pose purring.

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo_

Danni watched him from the front porch. He was working in the hot mid afternoon sun. He'd stripped his shirt off and she noticed his back glisten with sweat as he hammered the wiring over the fence post. The color he'd been getting from working outside so much downplayed the scars that he'd tried so hard to hide when they'd first met. He didn't care so much anymore.

One of the sections of fence on the right side of the house had come down and he wanted to secure it immediately.

His hair had lengthened and darkened considerably and he looked older, even more solid somehow.

"Stay where I can see you." She called out to the toddler, who'd started to wander off the front path, after the sleek black cat trying to grab its tail. "Careful bug, kitty's gonna swat you."

He ignored her, laughing, stumbling after the animal, his straight, shoulder length, light brown hair falling in his eyes. He was beginning to listen less and develop a stubborn streak. Her sweet boy reaching the terrible two's? She was about to get up and go after him, when Daryl rounded the front of the house and scooped the child up in his arms. "Listen to your mom, now."

She smiled at the closeness they shared. Sometimes she felt like those two had their own world and she could only come in when they invited her. They already had their own boy's club.

Daryl, carried the child over and sat on the porch step beside her, their little boy on his knee.

"Fence is fine. Sons of bitches won't be getting in again."

She hit his shoulder. "Language."

She opened her eyes when she heard his voice. "What? Didn't say anything." Daryl was lying on the bed propped up on one elbow, waiting for her answer.

Her heart was pounding as she slowly woke in a cold sweat, still sitting in the wing chair.

The lantern had burned out and the room was only lit by the full moon pouring in the window. "Nothing, I was dream..." Relief at his consciousness replaced her surreal dream state.

She moved quickly to sit on the bed beside him. "How do you feel?

"Good as I look, I guess."

"What happened?"

"Shitty day."

"I'm sorry about this morning. I'm never going to walk away angry like that again."

He shrugged. "I **do** trust you. Its him I don't trust. It all came out wrong today."

After a minute he said,"Sometimes I still can't believe this. That you wanna be with me."

She held her tongue wanting to jump in to reassure him, but she knew he had more to say and needed her to wait.

"You're the first..." He took a deep breath. "Girl I ever been with."

She didn't laugh, she didn't move to leave.

"I get jealous, maybe I don't need to, but I do."

"Its okay." She said softly.

"What?"

"To be jealous."

"What about the other thing I said."

"Why would that bother me? I mean, hey, I brought down the mighty Daryl Dixon with my pussy."

He actually blushed when she said it.

She laughed and kissed his cheek warm with embarrassment.

_She's right._

"You should try to sleep more."

He grunted. "Get me out of here."

Tomorrow. If Herschel says its okay."

"Its okay."

"Tomorrow. Do you need anything?"

"Nah."

She slid back up the bed beside Squirrel who was purring loudly to lean against the headboard, taking his head on her lap, and gently massaging his shoulders.

_You need this._

"What happened out there?"

"Shitty, shitty day." He reached over to the bedside table and brought Sophia's doll to her. "Except for this."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo

Daryl was asleep again, needing this rest. He didn't stir when she rose and moved to the window to gaze at the full moon. It was the first night, the most powerful, perfect for what she had planned. Now that he was back and safe, her mind went to Sophia. She was still out there probably terrified. Danni picked up the doll Daryl had found and after looking at him sleep for a minute, moved to the door. Squirrel hopped down from the bed awkwardly hitting the floor with a thump. Danni turned to see him following. She picked him up and he took his place across her shoulders, as they silently exited the bedroom, then the Greene farm-house.

The crossroad and yarrow flowers surrounding it had called to her since the moment they'd ridden up to the farm. Brigid had used such sites for spell and ritual work as an impromptu altar. Danni decided to cast a spell for Sophia's return. She'd hadn't mastered spell work because she didn't practice enough as a girl. _Never to late._ Still, she'd watched and assisted Brigid enough to remember the basics and know that improvisation was often best. Especially green witchcraft. Nan had taught her about working with nature. Danni was surprised at everything returning to her mind as if she were opening a box that had been closed for years. The memory chest of knowledge was full of what she needed now. The Empress was leading her to embrace nature. It was in the cards. Danni remembered Brigid's rules of respect to invoke the help of the earth mother.

**Listen** to her whispers late at night under the light of the moon

**Hear** her calls early in the morning carried on the wings of birds and butterflies

**Watch** her sigh and undulate with the ebb and flow of the currents

**Seek** out her advice when working herbs and roots

**Stay** mindful that there are limitations to earthly gifts when tapping the source

**Open** your eyes.

**Work** with her and not against her.

It was still there, so clear and she remembered it all. The irony was that while she'd been disinterested in nature all of her life, nature obviously had plans for her. Accept your fate.

She headed back to the tent for her tools. Earlier in the day she had asked Maggie if she could have a few herbs from their garden. She took caraway knowing she'd use it tonight. Caraway offers protection and health especially for children.

She gathered the caraway, a candle her notebook and a pen. Then she and Squirrel walked to the crossroad.

She recalled a spell Brigid had performed when any Traveller was missing. They went missing often in that life, so she remembered it well.

Kneeling at the center of the crossroad she lit the white candle. She focused on the yarrow flower all around her calling on its power of divination and seeking. On a piece of paper, she wrote down the name Benedida, the Thracian Moon Goddess and Goddess of the Hunt.

She folded and creased it, waving it through the air then snapped it closed.

She folded the paper again into a square saying, "Benedida, I have you here and I will not let you go until you return Sophia who is missing."

She dug a deep hole in the center of the crossroad and placed the paper there, weighting it down with a heavy stone so Benedida would not escape. She placed leaves from the caraway plant beside it then filled in the dirt. With Sophia's doll clutched tightly at her chest to absorb the girl's energy, Danni looked intently at the full glassy, silver moon. The night was almost as bright as day. She asked for help. She visualized Sophia walking toward her, walking toward Carol, being safe in her mother's arms. She held the visions and said

Bound and binding

Binding bound

See the sight

Hear the sound

What was lost

Now is found

Bound and binding

Binding bound.

"Now, go back to looking for what you lost...it will be found." She heard Brigid say.

_*** I appreciate reviews! It is so motivating to hear from you all. I respond to every one -If you take the time I give it back :)**_


	25. Handle With Care

_**Been beat up and battered 'round**_

_**Been sent up, and I've been shot down**_

_**You're the best thing that I've ever found**_

_**Handle me with care**_

_**Reputations changeable**_

_**Situations tolerable**_

_**Baby, you're adorable**_

_**Handle me with care**_

_**I'm so tired of being lonely**_

_**I still have some love to give**_

_**Won't you show me that you really care?**_

_**Everybody's got somebody to lean on**_

_**Put your body next to mine and dream on**_

_**-as performed by Jenny Lewis**_

Danni returned to the farm-house bathed in the silver light of the moon. It was after midnight when she entered the silent, sleeping house unnoticed and slipped through the shadows into the back bedroom. She took a seat in the wing chair again, Squirrel perched on the chair's high back behind her head. She drew her knees up to her chest and looked at Daryl, so vulnerable in his sleep. She started processing the day causing everything inside to hurt. She'd forgotten the pain that inevitably came with loving someone. She almost lost him today. She'd always seen him as invincible because of his swagger, insolence and survival skills. He was tough as nails but he was still a man and the thought of life without him seemed desolate. She had never worried about him before today. The tears began before she realized it. Everything crashed down on her at once. Daryl almost dying, Sophia missing, the thing with Shane, being on the run, living in the woods, pretending not to be afraid everyday. She'd held everything in for so long; since that first day back on the highway. She wished she could get drunk like she used to, but knew that wouldn't work anymore. Her choking sobs woke him.

"Hey, what did I do now?" He rasped softly.

"You almost died on me you son of a bitch, that's what."

"But I didn't.

"I'm afraid of losing you." There, she'd said it.

"Come here." He motioned for her to join him on the bed. She hesitated before laying down. "You aint gonna lose me." His husky voice had a gentle lightness she didn't hear often, surprising her. They lay side by side staring at the ceiling.

"How can you be so strong all the time? I try, I really do, I just can't right now."

"You're strong, hell you talking about?" He was still speaking softly, no touch of gruffness.

"Yeah right, look at me, crying like a helpless little bitch. I **hate** to cry."

"Don't matter. Probably the strongest girl I ever met. " He tilted her chin toward his face. "I mean it."

"Thanks." She said, wiping her tears with her shirt. She composed herself. "I'm okay."

"I know."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

_Danni sat in a white, paint chipped rocking chair on the front porch. It was past dusk and she was keeping her date with the full moon. She cradled the baby in her arms and had a shot-gun at her side. She nestled down into her leather jacket against the evening chill. She gazed at the moon thanking the goddess for strength and safety and imploring her to offer more. When the little one started to stir and fuss she adjusted the blanket around him. With her voice low, soft and slightly husky she sang to quiet him. It was the lullaby her Nan had sung to her and Tara._

_Over in Killarney_

_Many years ago, _

_Me Mither sang a song to me_

_In tones so sweet and low._

_Just a simple little ditty, _

_In her good 'ould' Irish way, _

_And I'd give the world if she could sing_

_That song to me this day._

_"Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, _

_Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, hush now, don't you cry! _

_Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, Too-ra-loo-ra-li, _

_Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, that's an Irish lullaby."_

_Oft in dreams I wander_

_To that cot again, _

_I feel her arms a-huggin' me_

_As when she held me then._

_And I hear her voice a-hummin'_

_To me as in days of yore, _

_When she used to rock me fast asleep_

_Outside the cabin door._

_Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, _

_Too-ra-loo-ra-li, _

_Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, _

_Hush, now don't you cry! _

_Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, _

_Too-ra-loo-ra-li, _

_Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral, _

_That's an Irish lullaby._

_He was sleeping again. She continued to hum softly, feeling the moonlight's embrace._

_Daryl let the screen door slam as he came out to join them._

_"Shhh. I just got him to sleep."_

_He winced._

_"Sorry." He sat on the top step, his back to her. "You never sing me to sleep no more."_

_She kicked him gently. "You never ask anymore."_

_She broke their pensive silence. "Do you ever think about them?" she asked._

_He shrugged. "What's the point?_

_"Well, if we made it, maybe Rick did too. Maybe he's okay, somewhere."_

_"Why are you bringing all this up again?"_

_"I had a dream about him the other night. Carl was in it too. First one I've had in ages."_

_He turned his head. "No shit?"_

_Daryl had come to take stock in her dreams after all that had happened._

When Danni opened her eyes she couldn't believe morning had not yet come. It felt like the longest night of her life and two dreams scared her a little. Still, the sleep and her earlier emotional release left her calm and solid again.

When Daryl felt her turn over beside him, he moved his face to kiss her neck, stopping her analysis of the dreams.

"You're in no condition right now, so just stop what you're doing." She said feeling a twinge between her legs when his tongue moved up her neck to her ear. "I'm serious"

He smiled when her pelvis slightly undulated as his tongue continued to tease her ear. "Daryl, I will kill you if you start something you can't finish."

He didn't stop.

"You can hardly move."

"But you can move just fine." He said pulling her up to straddle him.

"We shouldn't, not here." She remembered where they were. "What if someone comes in, or hears us?"

"We aint teenagers." He surprised her. Usually he was the inhibited one.

"C'mon." He said it with such a growl, she couldn't refuse him. He pushed at her shirt, wanting it off.

'Let me then. Just lie down." She placed a hand carefully, on the bandage around his waist.

Danni moved back over his lap and leaned down, her raven hair falling over her shoulders brushing his stomach teasingly. As her head dipped down he jerked against his pants. His breath caught when she opened them and released him. Danni tilted her head to look up his body as her tongue brushed against his base. As she started to move her tongue up his length, Daryl's eyes closed and his head tilted back. His hands gripped the sheets as his back arched slightly.

She licked along him, from base to tip. At the head, she swirled her tongue around a second before she took him completely in her mouth. His stomach hitched, hard, and he let his breath out with a groan. His shoulders and head came off the bed slightly. She closed her eyes to savor his smooth skin and hardness against her lips and tongue. When she took him in deep he jerked inside her mouth. Her hands came to his side she dug her nails in. He grabbed her hair and guided her up then back down his length expelling harsh breaths of satisfaction. She could tell it was almost over for him when she felt his fingers dig into her scalp. She let him slip from her mouth and rose up on his body. Tonight was her turn to be in control, his turn to beg. She kneeled beside him and pulled her jeans and panties off. He gripped her hips, pulling her up and positioning her directly over him, his eyes narrow and his face flushed. Again, his upper body was up and off his bed. His stomach was tight.

"Please." He begged. "Now."

"You need to stay still; your stitches."

"Fuck that. Please.'

She nodded and sank down on him carefully, taking him in deep. He lay back on the bed, his hands loose on her hips. Her fingers came to rest on his chest and her eyes closed. Neither one moved, both needed some time to adjust to the perfect sensation.

"Okay?" She whispered after swallowing hard, hoping it wasn't too much for his injured body. "I'm going to move now." She said softly. "Let me know if I hurt you."

"Yeah, move, please." He whispered hoarsely. Danni rocked her hips, so that he was against the pulsing nerves of her most sensitive spot. She whimpered at the slow movement, her fingers spreading out on his chest. "Shit." Daryl whispered as his eyes opened to small slits.

She was beautiful, above him, her lips parted, eyes closed and her dark hair framing her face and falling over her delicate shoulders. Her hips picked up their pace. He watched her draw her fingers over her taut abdomen and massage her breasts, shutting her eyes tightly and chewing her bottom lip. She looked too good above him and felt too good inside him. Daryl knew he wasn't going to last much longer. When he held her hips steady and started thrusting up, she leaned forward her palms flat against the wall over the bed bracing herself. She worried about his broken body but only until he grabbed her thighs and started pumping into her as hard and fast as he could from below. She jolted and then moaned louder than she meant to as an orgasm rushed her before she was ready. She fell on his chest, burying her face in his neck, her fingers clawing the sheets beside his head.

So much for hurting him. Danni licked the sweat off his neck and begged him to do it harder.

Heat and chills raced through him as his climax owned him. He pulled her tightly to him burying himself beneath her while his back arched. His stomach contracted as his chest heaved and he shuddered to his finish.

As the feeling finally started to die down, she lay spent on him. She closed her eyes and smiled as she moved from him and laid back down.

" You didn't...we didn't use a condom." He whispered.

" No." She answered.

" You alright?"

"I don't know." They hadn't had any condoms with them. She didn't plan on sex tonight with his injuries. It was stupid and irresponsible, especially with the dreams. It sounded like a weak excuse but she just couldn't stop once they started.

"Should we be worried?" he asked.

"I don't think so." For some reason she felt calm.

"Okay." He didn't say another word after that._ Boys._

When she pressed against him in her usual way, he reached his arm behind her shoulders and he held her, for the first time after sex.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Carol opened the door, Danni sprung up, caught by surprise. They'd fallen asleep. She grabbed her shirt and threw it on, looking for her pants.

Carol quickly backed out, closing the door.

'I think they need a minute or two." She said to Rick and Herschel waiting to check on Daryl.

"He probably ripped out those stitches." Herschel commented annoyed.

Rick shook his head and chuckled. "Boys will be boys, I guess."

"Thank goodness I only have daughters." Herschel gave him a wry smile raising his bushy white eyebrows.

After a good five minutes to compose themselves, Carol knocked before entering.

Danni had dressed and sat in the wing chair when the three entered.

"I brought you something to eat." Carol told Daryl. She put a plate on the nightstand as he raised himself up and leaned back against the headboard.

"Here take this antibiotic once a day with food." Herschel handed him a Tupperware container of an amoxicillin capsules. "How are those stitches feeling this morning."

"Fine." Daryl lied. He had over done it last night, but it had been worth it.

"Good, then I want to ask you what happened to my horse?"

"The one that tried to kill me? If its smart it left the country." Daryl answered.

"We call that one Nellie. As in Nervous Nellie. I could have told you that if you'd bothered to ask." Herschel scolded adjusting his suspenders.

Rick glared at Daryl, who just huffed and shrugged like a little kid, and said, "I was under the impression that it had been cleared with you."

"It wasn't."

Daryl looked more than uncomfortable as Herschel unwrapped the bandage from his head and cleaned the scabbed graze with a betadine solution.

"That other wrap needs be on at least a week. The stitches will come out in about 10 days."

Daryl just nodded. "You going out to look today?" He asked Rick.

He nodded. I've organized groups. I wanted to ask you what ground you covered yesterday and if you don't mind telling me, what the hell happened to you?"

Danni decided to let them talk alone. She put Squirrel on the bed beside Daryl saying, "Keep him company okay?' The cat's motor started its rhythmic purrs and he rubbed his cheek against Daryl's hand.

She caught Daryl rolling his eyes as she and Carol left the room.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

"Here you go." Carol said handing Danni a folded pile of her clean laundry she left on the line the previous day.

"You didn't have to." Danni said, but felt something warm stir inside at the care and thoughtfulness Carol had shown her.

They walked to the RV where Carol was staying. The interior was immaculate. Dishes washed, pillows fluffed not a piece of trash or clutter anywhere.

"Thought I was in the wrong place for a minute. It looks beautiful." Danni sat across from her at the small table in the rear of the camper.

"I cleaned up. I want it to be nice for her when she gets back." Carol's voice cracked when she said it. Danni hated seeing tears welling in Carol's eyes. She wanted to tell her about the spell, but instead said, "Daryl will find her. As soon as he's on his feet. You can depend on him."

She felt a chill when Carol said, "I know. He's done more for my little girl in one day than her daddy ever did in his whole life."

She nodded.

"Have you eaten anything?" Carol asked her eyes soft.

Danni felt a mixture of longing and fear ricochet around her chest. A mother's love had been something she'd denied she wanted or needed her whole life.

When she shook her head, Carol went to the kitchenette and brought her back a peach and a piece of bread spread with peanut butter."

"You are losing weight honey. I can see it."

_You always make me want to cry. _"I'm okay."

Danni took a couple of bites of the bread then asked, "Did you know you were going to be a good mom? I mean before you had Sophia?"

"I know I wanted to be."

"Were you scared?"

"Sometimes, of course." Carol smiled. "Why are you asking me these things?"

"I had a horrible mother." She shook her head. "I didn't have anyone to teach me how to do it, you know?"

"Being a good mom is something you learn by practicing. No one can teach you. Honestly, it's a lot of trial and error. Danni why are you asking me? "

The girl's eyes were huge, speaking as loud as her voice. "I've had dreams. That's all. Weird dreams."

"Dreams. Are you sure?" It wasn't really an explanation.

"Yeah, of course."

"You can talk to me about anything. If you need to."

Danni feared she'd said too much. "No, there's nothing."

Carol nodded.

"Oh wait there is one thing. Can you teach me how to cook a few things? I'm going to have to make food for Daryl. He usually does all that. "

"Yesterday we tackled laundry. Today I'll make a cook out of you."

"Got a challenge ahead us." Danni smiled.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

"Hey, are you supposed to be up." Danni asked as she entered the back bedroom later that afternoon. Daryl was tying his boot laces, Squirrel pulling them undone after he'd finished. "Cat." He muttered. He had on dark gray cargo pants and a plaid sleeveless flannel that she had washed yesterday. Carol must have left it for him.

"I'm fine."

"What did Herschel say?"

He didn't answer.

"You didn't ask him did you?"

"I'm fine and I need to get out of here."

She knew it was no use to argue. As they walked through the house, the beautiful antique craftsman style furniture and architectural detail of the archways and moulding struck her. She'd never been in a house like this before. She'd seen the southern country-style decor in old movies. She was reminded of the houses in "To Kill a Mockingbird." One of her favorites.

"This house is amazing." She commented.

"I guess." He said.

"Where are you going?" Herschel and Rick stopped Daryl, leaning on Danni as they cleared the last step of the front porch. He winced.

"You're in no shape to leave yet. You have to rest and that bandage needs a change once a day for the next week." Herschel said. "Ideally you'd be here, for me to tend to it, but if not you've got to come back here for it every day."

"No need, Danni will do it.'

_I will?_ She looked at him, eyebrow raised.

"Do you know how? Keeping it sterile is important."

"I never..." she began but when Daryl painfully squeezed and pinched her wrist she went on "have any problem with bandage changing, I love it. I do it all the time." She enthused.

Rick and Herschel, looked skeptical. Daryl kicked her, pretending to be unsteady on his feet.

"When it needs to be done, I mean. When somebody's injured I have the best time changing all the bandages."

After a confused moment of silence at her ridiculous statement. She said. "Give me the supplies and we'll get out of your way."

Daryl and Danni sat on the steps waiting for Herschel to prepare the bandage materials.

She picked up the kitten and settled him on he her lap. "What was that? I have no idea how to change bandages."

"I'm not coming down here every day." He answered and turning to her added, "You'll figure it out."

"Or maybe you'll just end up doing it yourself, you jerk."

He gave her the smallest of smiles. She was sure she was the only one who could even see it.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 000000000

After three days of inactivity, Daryl announced he was going out to look for Sophia. He was lying back on his sleeping bag head propped up by two pillows poking arrows though the plastic wall of the tent.

"Are you ready for that?" Danni looked up from her journal, where she was recording the past two dreams. She extended her legs and massaged her calves over the black stretch denim jeans that hugged them. They were cramping from sitting cross-legged too long. She was wearing a t-shirt he hadn't seen before. It was another short tight kid's little league top. This one was dark blue with _Wildcats _written across the front and number three on the back. Of course she's cut the collar off in the style of all the others. She cut her collars off the way he cut his sleeves off.

"Hell yes. I am not spending one more minute up here playing with that damn cat."

Squirrel was pouncing on Daryl's feet and biting his toes through his socks. " And I need to get us some meat. Can't eat one more bowl of oatmeal. Are you trying to kill me?"

"It's all I can make."

"Not tryng to starve me on purpose?"

"You're the one that won't go down to the main camp. Carol's a really good cook. Its your own fault. She brightened and added. "You have clean clothes though. I did laundry the other day."

"You want a medal or something?"

"Yeah actually, I do." She hit him over his bandage."

"Hey, watch that."

They both hid smiles.

"I'll go with you. On foot okay?"

"Fine." He wanted her with him this time. "Keep up. I'm not slowing down for you."

"Yeah, yeah I know."

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 0

Daryl told Danni that before Herschel's horse bucked him he had seen an abandoned house he wanted to check out. It was close to the creek bed where he'd found Sophia's doll. She could be holed up there, too afraid to come out. The early morning sun was fading in and out behind gathering clouds, the humid air thick with moisture as they emerged from the trees and trudged through the tall grass and weeds toward the gray clapboard house. Daryl grabbed an arrow and loaded the crossbow as they got closer to the neglected structure. Gauze curtains fluttered in the broken windows, the screen door was hanging on one hinge.

Daryl kicked open the front door loudly. Danni followed behind as he cautiously cleared each downstairs room crossbow aimed and ready.

The wooden floor creaked under their feet and weak sunlight filtered through the dusty windows. Most of the furniture was broken and overturned. Flies buzzed around a garbage can. Daryl heard a noise from a kitchen cupboard and approached slowly, aiming as he flung open the door. Danni saw a blanket and pillow on the closet's floor. She pushed past him and crouched to get a better look. There was an imprint on the pillow.

"She could have been here." She turned to him. He nodded, feeling hopeful.

"I'll go upstairs, you check closets down here." He told her.

After a fruitless search of all the closets and cabinets she headed upstairs. When he heard the steps creaking he called out.

"Danni don't come up here! Stay where you are!"

Why, I'm almost..."

"I **mean it **stay there!"

His voice sounded strange.

He felt her behind him

"Damnit! I told you! He tried to back her body out the door again, but she pushed around him.

"Aw, no...no."

There was a dead mother cat and a litter of 6 kittens in the early stages of decay.

She realized he was trying to spare her from the heartbreaking scene probably because of Squirrel. "Are you going soft on me now?"

It was a horribly sad sight, but her relief that it wasn't a Walker version of Sophia tempered her emotion.

He huffed. "Nah, just didn't want you seeing this and crying all the rest of the damn day driving me crazy."

She touched his shoulder, letting her hand linger. "Thanks."

"She aint here." He said.

"Can you just check the closets up here, one more time?"

He shrugged and nodded.

"I'll be on the porch. I really need some air." She turned and headed down.

He thought of telling her to wait for him, but there'd been no sign of Walkers since they'd shown up at the old house.

"Be a minute." He said.

Danni realized how sweet Daryl's gesture had been; it was unlike him to try to protect her from ugly, frightening things. He was tough; he expected her to be tough, and she could take it. She stepped out on the porch and looked at the clouds gathering. It had threatened rain al morning. Maybe a thunderstorm would break the heat.

Suddenly she felt a hand over her mouth and an arm around her waist yanked her roughly back off her feet. She tried to elbow her unseen attacker in the gut, but he pivoted back, knowing her moves. He pulled the knife from her belt holster and readjusted his grip around her middle pinning her arms against her sides, but before he immobilized her right arm, she pulled her bandana from her pocket and dropped it on the dirt in front of the bottom porch step. She tried desperately to bite the hand covering her mouth, but it was too large and pressed too hard against her lips. He dragged her behind the house into the woods.

Satisfied, but disappointed that Sophia had probably never been at the run down house, Daryl reached the front porch, surprised Danni wasn't waiting for him. He turned and headed back inside to find her, when something red flashed him from the front path. It was her bandana.

He bent down to pick it up, and saw the foot prints in the loose dry dirt. Her boot prints left the ground, then the heels made drag marks, surrounded by larger footprints-athletic shoes? The pressure of the tread was human, not Walker. A knot of dread took over his stomach at the realization. Walkers were one thing, but people worried him more, always had. Panick started to rise in his chest, but he beat it down by studying the tracks on the ground before him. Who ever took her didn't have any kind of head start.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo

She still hadn't seen her captor's face when he shoved her toward a dented, beat up black car.

"Look what I found." He said to a second man who stood up from the driver's seat. He was an overweight white guy whose nylon track jacket, gold chains and accent signified New Jersey or New York city. She'd toured the entire country and knew regional styles. This guy looked like a Jersey boy. He'd be a perfect extra on The Sopranos.

She couldn't get a look at the one holding her.

"Is she one of them? She don't look like it." The large guy asked.

"She was with that Rambo guy just now, so yeah, she's one of them. Think I'm stupid or something?"

Danni studied the accents; Jersey or maybe Philly?"

"Thought you said they were a bunch of hicks She don't look like no hick to me."

"She's one all right, and she'll lead us back to wherever they're set up. Good timing too, we're out of food. From seeing them around in the woods they don't look like they've missed too many meals."

"What if she won't coöperate?"

"She'll be a bargaining tool then. Jeez, Dave, for somebody with two years of college you are really stupid. No common sense. Now come on, let's get out of here before that freaky Robin Hood guy shows up."

The entire time the two men argued Danni twisted frantically trying to free her arms or at least kick the guy holding her.

"Watch it honey. I know where you're trying to aim that knee, it's not happening."

The driver tossed a couple of bungy cords to Danni's captor. He pushed her against the car immobilizing her as he tied her wrists together behind her back

When his hand was off of her mouth, she screamed "Daryl!" Knowing he was nearby.

"Dumb bitch." was the last thing she heard before feeling a sharp pain at the back of her head.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo

Daryl had followed the tracks through woods, able to tell she'd been dragged then carried. Before he knew it he'd reached the edge of the trees and found himself on the road. She'd been taken in a car. He saw the scuffle in the dirt and fresh tire tracks.

It was Merle all over again. He stalked the edge of the pavement, every muscle tense, anger over powering him, his breathing harsh and uneven. He hadn't been able to find Merle. Now he'd lost Danni too. Helplessness paralyzed him when he realized her track ended. When tears fought to escape his squinting eyes, he let them fall. There was no one to hide it from. Daryl fell on his knees and hit the ground letting himself cry. He cried for Danni and he wept for Merle. His face contorted and the sobs came from deep in his chest. He'd told her she wouldn't lose him. He'd never considered the possibility that he'd lose her. Thunder began to roll in across the sky, drowning out his low, pained almost animal cries. The downpour hit, rain mixing with his tears.


	26. I'm Not Merle

**_We were young girls in a small world._**

**_It's a lie when you are telling the truth_**

**_It's the truth when you are telling a lie_**

**_Spread your legs then get down on your knees_**

**_And pray it never happens again._**

**_Maybe there's an end._**

**_Who the fuck protects you?_**

**_Who the fuck is going to resurrect you?_**

**_It's a sorrowed truth the truth is not a lie._**

**_-The Distillers_**

Danni regained consciousness lying on the grimy backseat of a car. She sat up, her wrists bound and sore, head pounding and got a look at the guy who'd smashed the butt of his gun into her skull. At first she couldn't believe she hadn't been able to fight him off; he wasn't that big but she realized the element of surprise thwarted her. He waved her knife, gesturing, as he spoke from the passenger seat. "You woke up just in time."

They parked in front of another dilapidated clapboard house much like the one she'd been searching earlier. The run down structure was behind an abandoned gas station. The cloud burst had ended and a steady breeze moved in. She heard the rusty creaking of the service station's old sign above her as Tony dragged her from the car through the mud.

He hustled her up the porch steps and through the front door followed by his larger accomplice Dave. She had a second to notice the living room on her left. Three older white-haired men sat around in track suits and gold chains like Dave's, at a coffee table playing poker, smoking cigars. Two women probably the same age as the men hovered nearby looked at her suspiciously.

"What are you doing Tony?" One of the older women stopped him before he could pass.

"Shit." He muttered.

"Why do you have that girl tied up?"

He ignored the question.

"Why aren't you answering me? You're scaring me." The strong New Jersey accent matched Tony's.

"Look Ma, I'm doing what I have to. We need food, we need water. She's gonna be our ticket okay?"

_His mother?_

"Well, keep it down." She went on. "The children are upstairs and I don't want them seeing this." Her dark brown hair had faded blonde highlights growing out well past her gray roots overdue for a touch up. She shook her head tsk tsking him, large diamonds sparkling on her ear lobes.

"Jeez Ma! Uncle Frankie looks like he needs a refill." He gestured to one of the card players who was holding a tumbler up, wanting her out of his business.

"Tony's right. Top me off Annette."

Danni noticed that some of Annette's acrylics had broken off as she poured scuro Kenthachy Italian whiskey into Frankie's glass.

"One more thing, keep your friends to the back of this house Tony. You know I don't like their language. They are scaring the children." She admonished.

Danni remained quiet and didn't fight. She observed the place and people to figure out their game. It was her best chance to escape. _Stay calm and don't show fear; men smell fear._

Tony continued to advance her down the hall. He pushed her into a stale, dusty, cluttered room sending her down hard on the floor, unable to balance with her hands still tied behind her back.

He kicked her toward the wall where she awkwardly scrambled to a sitting position keeping him in front of her.

"I'm gonna give you a chance to tell me where your group is. I'm the reasonable one amongst my friends here so you tell me now and you don't have to meet any of them." A gold crucifix on a weighty chain hung over the collar of his blue ringer t-shirt as he leaned down to talk.

"If you want to find where we're staying so badly, why didn't you just follow us back when you saw us out in the woods? We wouldn't have even noticed."

"I'm asking the questions here." He stared intently at her bare midriff and not her face, since the scuffle had pushed her t-shirt up just below her bra. She couldn't adjust it with her hands tied.

_That's original. "_This seems so much more complicated." She went on ignoring his wolfish glances.

He looked confused when he considered her words, then snapped back angrily and said, "One last chance, where are they?"

She was silent, so he dropped to the floor beside her. He smirked and pulled her trench knife from his pocket. He flipped it open and ran the blade lightly over her stomach, increasing pressure as she tightened each abdominal muscle against cold sharp steel. The blade didn't pierce the skin but began to leave angry red drag marks over her tender pale flesh. As he traced one sparrow he suddenly sliced across the bird, blood streaming over her hip bone. She winced and cried out making him laugh.

"One of my friends collects tattoos too. Only he takes them** off of people**. He's a hit man for the Martucci's back in Jersey, see, and a tattoo is like an i.d. card these days. So, he made this up himself; pretty genius if you ask me, but, after cutting off the hands and the head of his marks he carves the tattoos right out of the bodies skin and all. Here's the best part: he keeps them. Puts them in jars of that formladhal...whatever you call that shit. A real sick bastard.

"Formaldehyde." She corrected him.

Tony was smiling. "He's right down the hall. He always wanted to try it on somebody still alive. Youre gonna make his day."

She stared at the dusty floorboards, swallowing hard._ Be smart._ She curbed her instinct to kick and scream. He was waiting for her to lose it on him so he could really mess her up and hurt her badly. He was a textbook psychopath; she saw it in his eyes. _Don't give him a reason, don't make him any angrier_. He started to push the tip of the knife under her belt. She tilted her head back to stop a couple of tears that threatened to fall. Her eyes moved to the ceiling, where she watched a large black spider scurry across the cracked plaster. She remembered her dream; sitting on a porch, Daryl beside her, their son on his knee. Life wasn't supposed to end like **this**. Was it?

"Hey, pay attention!" He smacked the back of his hand hard across her cheek. _Fuck crying now. _Hair spilled loose from her pony tail and covered her face. The impact of his hand pissed her off. She bit her tongue, against the barrage of insults she wanted to unleash, to save her life. Controlled anger would serve her best now. Nothing was ending; she was just getting started.

"Thought you'd be more fun, a real spitfire. Guess not." He sounded disappointed, continuing to slowly and deliberately jab the knife under her belt not cutting yet, just pinching painfully.

She hoped that if she didn't fight, he'd get bored. Maybe if she acted passive, he'd be looser with security. If he didn't think he had to worry about her, he wouldn't. Then she could make her move. He was sick but he sure wasn't smart.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

"Thought I'd find you here. Laying in the mud, crying like a little bitch. I notice you aint been out lookin' for old Merle no more, but queenie? You giving up on her that fast?"

"Shut up." Daryl didn't stand, just turned his body away from his brother, embarrassed by his tears. "How long you been standing there?"

The rain had moved out about twenty minutes before, but Daryl hadn't moved, feeling stunned.

"Long enough. Now get up." He kicked Daryl's leg.

"I lost her trail. Tracks end here."

"What, you think these are the mountains of Tibet?" He asked echoing Daryl's own remarks about Sophia. "This is Georgia boy. Keep looking."

"What do you care? Thought you'd be happy. Now its just me and you, like you said. Like you want."

Merle crouched down, his face level with Daryl's.

"I'm gonna tell you something and I'm only tellin' you this one time. You best never speak of it again little brother."

"I aint in the mood for your bullshit right now, Merle."

"Every man gets himself pussy whipped at least once in his life. I mean **really** whipped little brother. Like you is now." Merle stood.

Daryl sprang to his feet and took a swing. Merle caught his arm. "I'm gonna let that one go seein' as how your head aint right at the moment." He put both his hands on Daryl's shoulders. "Now settle down and listen to me." Daryl huffed and spit to the side.

"There is always that one woman, mmm, hmm, no doubt; that one woman whose gonna break through all you best defenses. You could be wearin' a Kevlar vest, military grade and she'd still get in. Hell I been there."

"Don't believe that."

"Luanne. You remember Luanne Hartley?"

Daryl squinted. "She shot you."

"Yeah she did. Still got the scar on my shoulder."

"She torched your car."

"Yeah, she did that too." He was smiling at the memory.

"You two didn't do nothin' but fight and destroy each other's stuff."

"She gave me the best sex I ever had in my life hands down and was the only woman I ever thought about eating supper with before saying grace."

Daryl couldn't imagine Merle living with a woman but he remembered him going back to Luanne time and time again. He never cheated on her when they were together neither.

"That's the kind of whipped that still makes you feel like a man." Merle sighed, almost sounding wistful. "She was beautiful. Sometimes I miss that woman."

"Then why'd you leave?" Merle had joined the army when they were together.

"Knocked her up. She wanted to have it I didn't. Signed up the day after she told me and shipped out a week later."

Daryl had to ask. 'What did she do?"

"Damned if I know. Never saw that woman again."

Merle could have a kid out there and he didn't even know.

"Don't look at me like that boy. I aint exactly daddy material. Neither are you for that matter."

After a minute, Merle went on. "Its my own damn fault I lost that woman and I aint never found another one come even close. I'm not sayin' I'd do it different if I had the chance to. But you don't need to lose queenie. That's the only reason I'm tellin' you this and you best never repeat it if you know what's good for ya."

Daryl nodded.

"Dammit Daryl, what have I been teaching you all your life? You don't give up. Never have before you aint gonna start now. You get goin' and find her, or boy, I'll smack you so hard your kids'll come out behavin'."

"Where do I start looking?" Daryl asked. When Merle didn't answer he turned to find his brother gone. "Merle?" he called. "Merle where you at?" He heard footsteps. He turned expecting to see his older brother, but his reflexes kicked in at the sight of a tall dark-haired guy, young, maybe eighteen, approaching him from the woods. _Merle wasn't here._

"Hey man I don't want no trouble!" He said as Daryl pulled his knife and bent down for his cross-bow on the ground. He loaded an arrow, glaring at the kid.

"Hell you doin' out here then?"

"I'm just looking for my buddies. You seen 'em? Two guys. We left our car right here. At least I think it was here? its gone."

_His buddies, a car. _

Daryl slammed the kid to the ground and aimed between his eyes, all his anger focused on wanting to kill this guy who probably had something to do with what happened to Danni.

"I said I don't want trouble!"

Suddenly, Daryl remembered the day in Atlanta when he'd wanted to stomp that Miguel kid and Danni had stopped him, knowing a live, captive witness was the only way they'd find Glenn. This kid was going to take him to her.

"Get up."

"Okay, okay."

"Where are your boys holed up?"

"I, I don't know. Tony did all the driving I got no sense of direction."

"Bullshit!" Daryl hit him hard across the face. "I said get up. Now move."

What Daryl did next went against every fiber of his being. He pushed the kid back into the woods and headed to the farm. He hated to admit it, but he needed help. Something told him this was bigger than he was. He couldn't take the chance that just rushing in on his own would be enough. He was too worried about her. His begrudging, burgeoning respect for Rick led him back to the group.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

As he shoved the kid toward the house his bow pointed at the back of his head as it had been for the entire journey, Rick and Shane descended porch steps to meet him.

"Who the hell is this?" Shane looked at Daryl's prisoner who was trying to defend himself.

"I didn't do anything. I swear, he's got it all wrong."

"Shut up!" Daryl roared at him. "This is Randall." He said the name with dripping disdain.

"Where is Danni?" Rick asked.

"That's what this prick is gonna tell us." Daryl kicked Randall in the small of his back pitching him into the dirt. "His boys ran across us in the woods and took her."

"Took her?" Rick understood the implications of the bigger threat that an opposing group could have on the safety of he farm.

"Want me to take a crack at him?" Shane offered.

"Man come on, I'm a good guy!" Randall continued to whine and cry. "This all wrong." He shook his head.

"No I got this." Daryl said with finality. He grabbed Randall by the collar and pulled him back up, herding him toward the barn.

"We're here if you want us."

Daryl needed to hear those words from Rick, though he'd never admit it.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

Daryl stalked the barn's dusty floor in front of Randall, tied to a char. It had been at least a 20 minutes and the kid had given him nothing on Danni's location.

Randall was breathing hard; pain and fear emanated from his every pore.

Daryl turned, gaining momentum and slugged the kid in the face hard enough to knock him to the ground chair and all. He pummeled his face repeatedly. There was no one here to stop him, to pull him away. Daryl had free range to rage and beat the shit out of him to get what he needed.

"I told you." Randall cried, his face swollen and bloody.

"You told me shit!" Daryl reached in and yanked Randall up by his shirt slamming him against the wall.

"Barely knew those guys. I met them on the road."

"How many in your group?"

He hesitated so Daryl pulled his knife.

No no, no-no no, c'mon man!"

"He plunged the blade into the floor inches from the kid's leg and leaned into his face. "How many?"

"Ten, maybe twelve guys."

"Where?"

"I don't know, I swear. We were never in any place for more than one night."

Daryl retrieved his knife and stood.

"Scouting? Plan on staying local?"

"I keep telling you I don't know. They left me behind. Probably to just die in the woods. "

"Ever pick off scab?" Daryl pointed to a healing wound on the kid's arm. He dug the knife's point under the edge of the crusted skin.

"Start real slow at first then sooner or later you just gotta rip it off!"

"Okay! They have weapons; heavy stuff, automatics but I didn't do anything!"

"Your boys took my girl, probably gonna try to raid this farm. You just went along for the ride. You trying to tell me you're innocent?"

"Yes! These folks took me in, not just those guys; there's older men and women; kids too! They're not all like those guys. Thought I'd have a better chance with them, you know?" His face darkened before he continued. "But, but we go out and scavenge, just the men." He got quiet, swallowed hard and went on, "One night we found this little campsite a man and his two daughters; teenagers you know, real young, real cute."

Daryl didn't like the way he said the last bit, he was too enthusiastic.

"Daddy had to watch while these guys, they ...and they didn't even **kill '**em afterwards."

Daryl knew exactly what they'd done. His gut churned, Danni was with them.

"They just made him watch, his own daughters. Then, just ...left them there." He saw the disgust and rage on Daryl's face directed at him and quickly added, "No, but I didn't, I didn't touch those girls."

Daryl kicked him viciously in his ribs.

"I swear I didn't." Please you gotta believe me man, I'm not like that, I aint like that." He began to cry. Daryl kicked harder,

"Please, please, you gotta believe me."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

Daryl found Rick and the others at the campfire.

"That boy's got a gang. A dozen men and heavy artillery. He says they're at an abandoned service station. Other side of the woods off the main road."

"Well that would have to be Clinton's." Herschel said.

"Got a house behind it." Daryl added.

"Yes, that's the one."

Carol saw Daryl's torn bloody knuckles as he gripped his crossbow over his shoulder.  
"What did you do?" She asked.

"Had a little chat."

She turned away, looking disappointed in him.

"I gotta get Danni out of there. Another thing, they roll through here you boys are dead. Our women? Gonna wish they were."

He turned to Herschel. "How do I find that place?"

"You are not going alone." Rick stated.

"I'll be fine."

"A dozen men, heavy artillery you said it yourself. What do you think you're gonna do?" Shane disdained him.

"Daryl we do this together. Danni is part of this group. We all want her back." Rick insisted.

Daryl kept his eyes on his boots. He knew he needed them, hell, that's why he brought the kid back here in the first place. He just couldn't** ask** for it. So when Rick offered he nodded to accept.

"Shane?" Rick asked knowing the bad blood between them.

"I'm in. Gottta protect the farm. Just stay out of my way." He looked straight at Daryl.

"Whatever, man." Daryl couldn't care about Shane at the moment.

Glenn and T Dog made it clear they were going as well.

"That makes five of us." Rick said considering their odds.

"I'm coming too." Maggie announced.

"No way." Glenn admonished her. "You are staying right here."

"You can't stop me."

"But I can." Herschel announced..

"Daddy that girl is in trouble. I can't just sit around here."

She caught Daryl looking at her with a softness she'd never seen from him. But he agreed with Herschel. "No way. Listen to your dad. You aint going anywhere near that group. Those guys that kid is with are a bunch of ...they're the worst kind."

Daryl turned from Maggie and looked at Rick unable to hold his words back. "Danni 's in real trouble."_ And its my fault._

"We'll get her." Rick tried to reassure Daryl surprised at his candor.

While Herschel mapped out the route with Rick, Daryl headed up to his camp area to get his bike. Squirrel trotted out of the tent to meet him. He had a dead field mouse in his mouth and dropped it at Daryl's feet proudly. He crouched and picked up the kitten. "Good job."

_Damn cat. What if you're all I have left of her._

He entered the tent to gather the rest of his arrows and his gun. He noticed her journal lying on the sleeping bag. He hesitated, then sat, opened it and started to read:

_After almost losing him I know how real this is. I never worried about him before yesterday. I forgot how much it can hurt to love someone this much._

Her handwriting was neat, precise with a right hand slant. He knew he shouldn't be doing this, but his eyes travelled further down the page.

_Somehow, the world had to end for me to find my soul mate. I never wanted to live as much. now that death is so close every day. And its him. It's all because of him. I never needed any one before, but I need him. I want him. I trust him. How did this happen to me?_

Love, need, want. No one used words like that to describe him. It was always useless, stupid, good for nothing. As strange as it felt, relief flooded him; it was more than he'd let himself hope for. These were her private thoughts. She never said stuff like this out loud so he figured she really meant it. He felt wrong for reading but he couldn't put the book down.

_No one has ever made my body feel like he does. He fucks fear out of me. That's the only way I can say it. He makes me feel safe, safer than anyone ever has. I cum every fucking time! Its unbelievable, twice the other night. _

_When the dreams started I was afraid but I knew we'd be together. Like this. He is a Leo and I'm a Sagittarius the two signs that make the best match. Best friends and lovers._

Daryl couldn't help but smile at her astrology shit.

_The Empress and The Ace of Cups telling me I'll be pregnant scares the shit out of me, but as long as I'm with him it will be okay. How do I tell him? I should wait until I'm sure, but we've been stupid the past couple of times. He makes me forget everything._

He closed the book. _Pregnant?_ He was not losing her now. He wasn't Merle.

He shot up and exited the tent heading to his bike, pulling on his leather cut.

"Daryl?" Carol approached hesitantly. "Are you okay?"

"Fine." He was defensive.

She didn't believe him. "What you did to that boy...".

He winced. "Don't tell me how to handle my business."

"I'm sorry about Danni, we'll get her back, but beating a kid, that's not you."

He looked at Carol with disbelief. _That easy, huh? _

"Jesus, this whole damn thing is your fault!" He suddenly exploded angrily. "If you spent half your time minding your daughter's business instead of sticking your nose in everybody else's Sophia wouldn't be lost and Danni would be here now!"

"Go ahead." Carol said calmly, holding back tears but encouraging him to vent.

"Go head and **what**?" His tone was angry and defiant, tinged with disgust. "You're a real piece of work lady. Are you gonna make this about my daddy or some crap like that?" He huffed. "You don't know jack." Suddenly he was pointing in her face.

"You're afraid cause you're alone. Got no husband, maybe no daughter anymore. You don't know what to with yourself. You **aint'** my problem. Sophia wasn't mine! Danni **is** mine and she's out there maybe dead or..." he could hardly think about rape. "Worse. Do you even** know** what kind of people have her now?"

Daryl angrily got on his bike and kick started the engine heading down to the road ready to follow Rick in the truck.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

"Okay, do it the hard way."

Her cheek burned where he'd hit her and the cut over her hip bone stung, dried blood crusting on her stomach. She'd remained silent so he'd belted her a couple more times and kicked her ribs. He was more into violence than sex. She wasn't sure about the other men he kept talking about.

Tony yanked Danni up her by her arm and dragged her down the hall, though the disused kitchen where she saw a group of about eight or nine guys armed to the teeth with automatic and semi automatic weapons sitting around the table and on the counter tops. Some of them had obviously been mob foot soldiers in their earlier life. A few rough bikers mixed in among them. She felt their predatory stares boring into her as Tony pushed her out the rear door.

"Where you taking that sweet piece of ass, Tony?"

"Don't worry, after she tells me what we need to know she's all yours boys." He said.

"Hurry up. Its been days since we found any pussy on a raid." One of the bikers complained angrily.

"Yeah and she looks like she'd be a real wild ride." The second biker stood up grinning and grabbed Danni's ass then slapped it hard. She gritted her teeth, then bit her tongue so she wouldn't say anything to make it worse.

"Won't be long gentlemen. Have I ever failed to give you a party? " Tony answered putting his gun to her back. The ravenous eyes of the men scared her more than their weapons, but also started to incur her rage.

Outside, he gave her a last chance. "Look you should really talk to me, cause a couple of those guys in there are made guys okay? And psycho, too I mean they do some real crazy shit. They won't just sit around and wait for your answers."

She was silent.

"Eddie!" get out here.

A tall, muscular guy in a white wife beater and track pants loudly chewing gum came out of the kitchen.  
"Keep her in the garage until she decides to talk."

"Sure thing." He looked at her hungrily and took her arm from Tony. He stuck the muzzle of his gun painfully against her spine and pushed her to the building behind the gas pumps.

She sat on the cracked cement floor of the service station's empty garage. She still smelled the motor oil and gasoline odor lingering. Late afternoon light filtered in through two filthy windows. Eddie leaned back against a red, rusted Craftsman tool cabinet, leering at her; she could read a book in his familiar expression.

She scanned the room looking for any possible way out or weapon and tried to loosen the cord around her hands inconspicuously. She knew Daryl had tracked her as far as he could. Once she'd been taken in the damn car she realized there was nothing else he could do. She had to get out of this mess herself. She let anger take over her fear.

As if on cue, Eddie spoke. "Its been too long".

She took his bait knowingly. "Since what?"

"Since I had my dick sucked."

He said just what she expected and rage pulsed through her entire body. He thought she was an easy slut. It always came down to this: predatory men were everywhere. Fine, he wanted to play this game, she'd play. She wasn't gonna sit around helplessly and wait to be gang raped by that bunch back in the house and killed by Tony when they'd finished with her. They could bust through that door at any minute; she had no time to waste. This was her chance to get out of here.

She masked her contempt with a sly smile. "Its been too long since I had a nice big cock in my mouth."

"Yeah?" He leaned forward like it was his lucky day, surprised at her interest. "All the women we've been finding lately are scared shitless. Not always how I like it."

"I bet you're sick of waiting your turn. A lot of guys in there."

"Honey you have no idea. Had enough sloppy seconds to last me a lifetime." He started to harden at the thought of getting first crack at her.

"No reason we can't have fun while we're just waiting around, right?" She forced a smile, swallowing nausea.

"You some kind of super freak? You look like it. Tattoos and shit. Bet you got a pierced pussy."

"Maybe you wanna find out?"

He walked toward her. "I think I do."

"I can't exactly show you with my hands tied."

"I'm not supposed to untie you. Besides your mouth aint attached to your hands sweetheart."

"The things I can do to you with my fingers..." She licked her lips slowly for effect. "Thought you wanted a super freak, can't do it halfway baby." She purred and looked up with big eyes, her bile rising. He was already starting to bulge as he untied her.

He took the gun out of his waistband and put it on the work bench next to her.

"Knees sweetheart."

She moved into place in front of him. When he yanked his pants down his member sprung right up toward her face. Yeah, he was impatient. _Let's get this over with fast. _

"She took his dick in her hand and he immediately threw his head back and groaned at her mere touch. _ Over dramatic asshole._

"C'mon." He pushed himself toward her mouth. "Hurry up."

She had to make this look and feel good. Her life depended on it. She spit on his cock to lubricate and started fisting him, ensuring he was falling for it. He was a big guy and if he wasn't turned on enough, he wouldn't be sufficiently vulnerable and she couldn't pull this off.

"Oh, yeah," he moaned and grabbed the back of her head.

"Wait, this will be** much **better. I know how to drive you crazy." She pulled his hands from her head and put them on her breasts over her shirt, mesmerizing him, making him close his eyes, ready.

_ I can almost taste it,_

_It's the need to see you die,_

_You thought you had it made,_

_Well here's your final shock surprise,_

_How do you like it,_

_My unfaithful friend?_

_How do you like it" _

_How do you like my sweet revenge? _

She heard the Motorhead song loud in her head, as she ripped his cock forward and stood up fast, kneeing him hard from below. As he fell backward, howling in pain, she pushed his chest to make sure he'd slam to ground. She kicked him in the groin adding to his agony. She stepped over his writhing body ignoring his curses and brought her boot to the side of his head, over and over.

"This is what you get for thinking with your dick scumbag!"

She saw Tony, she saw Shane, she saw sleazy club owners, she pictured her stepfathers and visualized every man who'd ever tried to take advantage of her. Rage took over and she continued kicking. All the blood splattering across the floor didn't faze her. He was unconscious maybe dead? At that moment she believed he deserved it with all her heart. She grabbed his gun from the tool bench and headed to the door trailing bloody foot prints behind.

Danni stepped outside and immediately doubled over, retching violently. Her body continued to heave long after her stomach emptied. She was shaking and had to lean against the rough cement wall of the garage. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and breathed deeply a couple of times. She started toward the woods. Suddenly, she heard Brigid's voice loud, coming from behind her. "Now, go back to looking for what you lost...it will be found." She stopped short and turned. _Sophia?_

Sophia was playing on a rusty swing set with a boy and girl slightly younger than she was, at the back of the house. _Here? What the hell was she doing here? The children are upstairs. _

Danni looked around for any sign of Tony or his thugs, and released the gun's safety as she moved close enough for Sophia to hear her.

"Sophia!" She whispered loudly.

The girl turned to see Danni put finger over her lips.

She ran from the swing set to Danni's arms.

"Bug, I can't believe it! Are you okay?"

She looked fine; clean well fed.

"Danni,Danni,Danni!" She whispered hugging her. As much as she wanted to stop and ask Sophia how the hell she got here, she knew there was no time. Especially since the other kids were going to wonder what was going on.

"C'mon, we need to go."

"I want to say goodbye to miss Annette. She took care of me. She's been so nice."

"Sorry hun, no time."

"My mom? Is my mom okay?

'Yes, we're going home ."

"Do you know the way?"

I'll figure it out. We have to go** now** it's not safe."

Sophia nodded. "There are bad men here. I saw them. Did they hurt you?"

"**No** munchkin. I didn't **let** them."

They jogged into the woods trying to get far enough from the house for good cover. Danni knew she was clueless about which direction to take. Realizing they were lost, she implored Benedida for more help.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo

"We don't want trouble we just want her back." Rick faced Tony on the porch. It was the Guillermo situation all over again. "Where is she?" He pushed Randall forward.

Behind him Glenn and Daryl had raised a shotgun and cross-bow. T Dog and Shane stealthily headed to the back of the house.

Tony was pissed that they were here. Randall brought them back. He'd hated that kid from day one. Out on a raid, they could do anything, but here they had his mother, the uncles, the kids. A kitchen full of hit men and thugs did him no good.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You must have the wrong place."

Dave emerged through the screen door behind him. 'What the fuck? Tony what are they doing here? Is that Randall?"

"What do you think fat ass?" Tony was getting aggravated Nothing was going right.

"Tony?" Daryl said. "You're Tony?' Randall had said he was leader.

"Yeah, why?"

"Because I'm gonna gut you!" He lunged at the man, dragging him from the porch, rolling him in the dirt pummeling him. "Where is she?" He kneeled over Tony slamming his fist into his face over and over releasing every ounce of his anger, fear and frustration. His fists were already ravaged from Randall's beating earlier but he felt no pain over the adrenaline.

When Tony pulled Danni's distinctive knife on him, Daryl's rage doubled. S_on a of a bitch has her knife?_ He tore it from his grip and sliced deeply across the other man's cheek almost down to the bone

Tony yowled in pain and finally relented. "The garage!" Daryl kept punching until Rick pulled him back. He stood up, shaking Rick off and kicked Tony in the ribs.

Tony' spat blood, and held his hands on his eyes both already swollen shut. 'Where the fuck is everybody?"

"Go Daryl, just go get her, we got this." Glenn ordered as T Dog and Shane rounded the front of the house and armed men slowly trickled on to the porch.

He rushed into the garage crossbow aimed and ready finding only one guy laying on the floor with his head kicked in and his pants down. He knew the bloody boot prints were hers. The guy was still breathing, but barely.

_That's my girl._

He followed her prints to the side of the house. Her direction confused him for a minute; it looked like she turned right, back into the woods with a second very light tread putting pressure on the dirt and pebbles next to her.

He picked up a clear track again at the tree line. He felt like he'd found the trail he'd lost early that morning. Merle told him not to give up. He followed the broken twigs and matted grass for about ten minutes. Then he saw them, Danni and Sophia, holding hands, walking ahead of him.

"Hey!" His voice cracked.

Danni turned.

They stood staring at each other a few yards apart unsure that the other was real. Finally, she ran to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist.

"Seen what you did to their boy." He said against her ear. "You did do that, right?"

She nodded.

"Good girl." Then asked "He didn't touch you did he?"

"Did it look like he did?"

She felt him smile against her neck.

He didn't want to put her down, but they had to head to safety. He motioned to Sophia. "Where the hell..."

"I'll tell you later. Hey, you're bleeding." She said standing before him, gently touching his side. His stitches had ripped when he fought with Tony and blood soaked through his bandage and his shirt.

"Yeah, 'cause you do a shitty bandage change."

She hugged him again, getting blood all over her.

Sophia stood back waiting. She knew that Knights and Princesses get mushy a lot.

"I might be pregnant." She whispered, needing to get it out, bracing herself for his reaction. _No more secrets._

"Good a time as any." He said calmly, shocking her.

"But..."

"I'm not Merle."

Before she could ask what that meant, gun shots cracked the air, Sophia whimpered and grabbed Danni's hand.

"Rick. Shit!" Daryl said. "Follow me to the truck. We parked a ways back. Now you get in, lock them doors and keep down. Don't let nobody see you."

Danni nodded. No argument this time. She'd had enough of being a heroine for one day. "Wait, I don't have a knife."

"Yeah you do." He handed her Hayes' knife. She'd thought she'd never see it again.

She was going to ask how, but it was Daryl. Of course he got it back for her.

"Be careful."

She didn't usually tell him that.

"And hurry up."

She told him that all the time.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo

By the time Daryl had reached the house a herd of Walkers had overrun the structure. He scanned for Rick, relieved to see T Dog and Glenn running toward him.

"Rick?" Daryl asked.

"He's behind us with Shane! We have to move, they're everywhere! Those idiots started shooting and attracted every Walker in the area. Rick warned them." Glenn was breathless.

"At least there's plenty for 'em to eat while we get the hell out of here!" T Dog added.

Rick and Shane soon appeared, shooting Walkers as they got ahead of the threat. The men were able to make it up the road to their vehicles while the Walkers were still busy with Tony's group.

"I think there were women, children." Rick said stricken, guilty, when they reached the pickup and Daryl's motorcycle.

"We got women and children too, Rick. We got our own to protect." Daryl said bluntly. Catching his breath he added, "Think you ought a see this." He banged on the hood of the truck and Danni opened the door lowering Sophia to the ground.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was dark, the moon waning, stars like a sea of fish in the sky, when they drove up to the farm. Danni looked at the crossroad as Daryl's bike sped over it planning to come back and release Benedida to keep up her end of the bargain. Sophia had been found.

"You two need to get stitched up by Herschel." Rick reminded them after they'd dismounted the motorcycle.

Danni nodded. "Got something to do first." She ruffled Sophia's hair. "Don't we bug?"

"Daryl, wait a second." Rick stopped them. "We need to secure this place. Check all the fences; we can't afford any break or weakness in the perimeter. " After what had happened at the service station, Rick knew it was only a matter of time before they had their own invasion to deal with.

"First thing in the morning can you be ready?"

Daryl nodded. "Yeah."

It seemed that Rick was asking more of him. He didn't mind so much for some reason.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Carol sat stitching one of Dale's shirts by candle light in the back of the RV. She looked up, surprised by visitors.

"Danni, thank God!" She stood and approached to hug her but stopped when she started smiling and moved to the side. Carol fell to her knees. overcome. as Sophia pushed past and ran into her mother's arms. Carol looked up vision blurred by tears as they turned to leave.

"Thank you!" Carol choked out sobbing."Thank you."

Daryl looked back and nodded, remembering their last interaction.

Danni leaned on him, outside the RV, feeling the night around them. "Lets get to Herschel. You're bleeding a bit again." She said, but stopped, noticing something else. "Your hands." She held them, knowing his swollen, bruised, scabbed knuckles were for her. She pulled them to her lips and kissed them gently.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooo

Together, alone in their tent, the only light from the fire outside, he watched her brush her hair and whisper to the sleeping kitten beside her feet. Daryl felt a sense of pride he wasn't familliar with. Sophia was back, Danni was safe and he knew she needed him. No one had ever needed Daryl Dixon before, but he'd read her words in black and white. He reached out, cupped her cheek and ran his thumb from the bridge of her nose to the bottom of her eye. A tear had started to run. In turn she dropped the brush, slipped a hand behind his neck and pulled him close to her. Their lips barely touched but the electricity was palpable, the heat scorching.

"You need me?" He whispered, echoing her journal, ensuring each breath entered her mouth.  
She touched her tongue to his upper lip. "Only you. You're the only one I ever want to touch; the only one I ever want touching me." Tears rolled down her cheeks, hot stinging tears. "Ever again."

When their lips finally came together, it was as tentative a discovery as the first time they'd ever kissed. Their mouths, so accustomed to throwing sarcastic barbs, now silenced with tenderness, gently merged. After trading tongue and hot breath, he took off her shirt and they fell back on the sleeping bag.

"I'm sorry. Its ugly." She said when she saw him looking at her stomach.

The angry red marks were only beginning to fade. He gently ran his finger over the stitches dissecting the sparrow. He was angry he'd let someone hurt her. He'd broken his promise.

Her tears had dried and she waited for him to put his hands on her; to cleanse her body with his touch.

"Nothing about you is ugly." He put his mouth back on hers and, as if to prove it, ran his hands up the sides of her taut belly and smooth hips finally pulling her jeans off leaving her clad only in her black panties already soaked.

"When did you know?" She asked breathlessly as he lightly ran his thumbs over her nipples. "When did you know you wanted me?"  
"Sitting across from you in the back of that truck, going to find Merle." He said sitting up and straddling her. He took the time to unbutton and remove the shirt from his broad chest and thick shoulders. "You called me a bitch." Pulling her panties off, he looked down. "I'm going to fuck you now."

"Fuck me hard?"

"Yeah..."

"Fuck me slow?"

"Yeah..."

"Fuck me deep?"

"Yeah..."

"Fuck me good."

"Yeah."

His voice became more gravelled with each 'yeah.'

He grasped Danni's legs and put them over his shoulders then placed the head of his hardness against her entrance and pushed the tip into her sensitive folds. She sighed as her flesh opened to receive him. He penetrated her gradually, one inch at a time. He pulled out slowly and repeated the pleasurable torture until she whimpered, "Don't tease me.. not tonight, please..." and gyrated her pelvis to keep him against her. He removed himself again but only for a second, then thrust as deeply into her recesses as he could. She gasped as he held her legs tightly together, knees still over his shoulders and he quickened his pace.

"Harder, faster." She begged, unable to catch her breath as she suffered a convulsive orgasm, her legs shaking her hips bucking against him.

The overpowering pressure of her climaxing around him brought him over his edge and he drove in again and again until she'd emptied him.

He'd done it again. He'd fucked the fear and pain of the hellish day right out of her.  
He leaned down and kissed her salty neck as he pulled out. She shifted position and managed to sit up while he collapsed next to her. She hovered above him and kissed him tenderly while her nipples brushed his skin.

She finally lay back. "I'm not sure. About what I said earlier." She turned on her side to face him. " I keep having these dreams. Its scary being alone with all this."

"You're not alone. I aint going anywhere."


	27. Could We Take A Walk?

_**God, I wish that you were close to me**_

_**I guess I owe you an apology**_

_**Got sixteen days**_

_**Fifteen of those are nights**_

_**Can't sleep when the bed sheet fights**_

_**It's way back to your side**_

_**Well, the ghost has got me runnin'**_

_**Well, the ghost has got me runnin'**_

_**Away from you, away from you, away**_  
_**  
**__**-Whiskeytown**__**  
**_

_When she felt the warm trickle of fluid down her legs she knew it wasn't false labor. A horrible cramp started at her back and radiated into her stomach. She leaned against the wall, suffering cramping and tightening that began at the top of her uterus and spread down through her lower back._

_"Stephen, where's Daryl?" Its happening ...now." Danni eased herself to the mattress on the floor. She was cold; this place was always so damn cold and damp from all the early spring rain they'd been having. The towels and blankets she'd gathered over the past week or so were within reach along with room temperature water in two plastic gallon containers. There wasn't much more they could have done to prepare. Except he wasn't here. Why now?_

_"I don't know. He went past the barricade to help Rick. He said he'd be right back." Stephen had re secured the cell block after Daryl followed Rick out to drive the invaders from the rest of the prison. "He told me to take care of you." Stephen knew Daryl should have been back by now if everything was all right. He kept that to himself._

_"Find him! I need him here. He promised me."_

_"I can't leave you, not like this with that firefight going on out there!"_

_She heard the gunshots echoing through the prison corridors for the last hour? She'd awoken to the chaos outside with only Stephen here. Daryl had gone to fight when she was asleep; Rick needed him, but so did she._

_"I'm here for you. You know that." Stephen crouched down._

_Her eyes said she was sorry but that he wasn't enough. He'd lost her a long time ago._

_"I can't do this without him." She tried to breathe through each contraction which felt like a wave of pain that rose, peaked, and fell. "We have a fucking deal!" She gasped over a sharp twinge._

_He saw the desperation and fear on her face, so against his better judgement, he decided to find Daryl._

_"All right, baby, hold tight, I'll bring him back."_

_He kissed the top of her head, then said to her stomach, "you wait til your dad gets here."_

_She would have laughed if she could. He checked the rounds in his glock and gave her a long look before heading away._

_Danni just kept breathing through very intense waves of pain, coming right on top of one another. She was alone with a war outside the door. I can't do this, I can't do this, I can't do this._

Danni woke up heart pounding, gasping for air. As the beating slowed and her breathing began to regulate, she knew with absolute certainty she was pregnant. It had been 7 days since the night of the full moon, the night when she knew it happened. A pregnancy test couldn't tell her anything this early, but her body could. She felt a shift had taken place inside. Of course she'd take the test in a couple of weeks, but she knew she'd miss her period. For the next year at least.

She turned over on her side, exhausted.

The only description of having a baby she'd ever heard was from her mom: _like doing the splits on a case of dynamite._ Not very reassuring. Neither she nor Daryl had any role model for parenting. At least they'd know what** not** to do.

He wasn't beside her; it felt like late morning. She'd overslept, drained from all that had happened yesterday, but somehow her fatigue went beyond that. She cuddled Squirrel who wiggled out of her hands, too busy for love at the moment. Sophia could finally name him today. She fell back into a deep, dreamless sleep.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo

"What are you doing?" She asked suspiciously, sitting up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Daryl crouched and entered the tent, carrying a plate of food, obviously made by Carol that he'd brought all the way up to her. He put it by her side.

"You need to eat better."

"Oh no you don't. You are **not** doing this."

"What?" He scowled and squinted at her.

"I've been taking care of myself since I was eight years old, you are not..."

"Me too. Six. Got you beat." He sat beside her. She noticed the deep circles under his eyes. He looked as exhausted as she felt.

"Have you been sleeping?" She asked.

"Six years old." He said as a way of telling her not to worry about him.

"You don't like it either. Daryl, I don't even know if I am." She lied unable to face the truth at that moment.

"You are, or you will be. You wouldn't have told me if you weren't sure. " He paused and lowered his voice. "It was in your cards wasn't it? That night when you had me pick one."

"Yes." She wanted to lean over and kiss the dirt and sweat off his neck. Instead she said, "We haven't really talked about it."

"I'm still out building up the perimeters. When I get done I figured we could go on a run into town. I asked Glenn where the drugstore is. If you need to get anything, you can do it yourself, don't need anybody up in your business."

_He didn't want to talk yet. _

"What would I need?"

He got flustered. "Hell would I know?"

Then he was gone.

He didn't seem upset. The problem was that he didn't seem anything at all. Meanwhile, she felt a twisting in her gut and the need to talk it all out so she wouldn't feel so overwhelmed.

After he left, she took a bite of the eggs he'd brought. She had just enough time to crawl out of the tent before she vomited. Dry heaves came one after the other and left her eyes tearing and body trembling.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

After her nausea subsided, she dressed, making sure to tuck her t-shirt under her belt to cover the marks from yesterday. Danni brought Squirrel down to the main camp where Carl and Sophia were finishing up their own breakfast.

"Sophia, this little guy has been waiting to meet you." Danni placed the squirming kitten on her lap. Her face lit up and she laughed. "He's soooo cute." When she gently stroked his head he became still and looked at her with his deep golden eyes.

"What's his name?" She asked.

"I don't know. We've been waiting for you to name him."

Sophia pursed her lips becoming very serious. "Fionn." She said decisively. "Like in your stories."

"Fionn it is. He'll become a mighty hunter someday." She knew Daryl would always call him Squirrel Bait. _According to legend Fionn's Mac Cumhaill's father died before he was born. Why did that come to mind?_

"Could you two keep an eye on him today. I mean if you're not too busy..."

"Yes!" Both kids shouted at once.

Danni leaned down and kissed the top of the kitten's head. Then she did the same to Sophia, relieved she was here. She ruffled Carl's hair. "See ya later."

She grabbed an apple from the basket of fruit on the card table Carol had set up for food preparation. She headed to the crossroads to do some thinking. As she rounded the corner of the farm-house Maggie called to her from the porch.

Danni approached, thinking how little she really knew Maggie. This young woman in a floral camisol, jeans and brown cowboy boots had never spoken more than a few words to her. She knew Glenn and the girl were in a relationship from her conversations with him. She flipped her shiny chin length brown hair gracefully from her eyes and said, "Danni, Glenn mentioned something about you and Daryl going on a run. Can you pick something up for me?"

"Sure." Danni was tossing the apple in air and catching it. When Maggie added "I can trust you right?" Danni stopped and turned all her attention to the girl. "I mean I hardly know you, but you seem, well, I have a feeling you know, you won't judge me."

Danni sat on the steps beside her.

"Can you get me a pregnancy test?"

_What is this an epidemic? _Danni kept her expression neutral.

"Yes, of course."

"It's probably a false alarm, I'm not really that worried, but i 'd like to be sure. I mean my periods have never been regular and Glenn and I have always used a condom."

_Always. Never got too caught up in the moment, like me?_

"I want to be one hundred percent sure. Can you imagine being pregnant now? With the world like it is? **Stupid**."

_Stupid, stupid, stupid. _Danni's stomach fluttered a little.

"Yeah, of course. I'll get a couple. You never know right?" _Stupid._

Maggie suddenly changed the subject.

"Danni, what's he like?"

Danni looked at her, confused.

"Daryl, I mean he seems so...intense. He used to scare me, but yesterday, the way he was about finding you. It's just ...I mean to have a guy act that way over you. Kind of like every girl's fantasy. Even strong girls like us."

_Like us. Yeah, Maggie was pretty kick ass and she didn't take crap. _

Danni nodded. "I guess. Glenn looks at you the same way."

"I know he wants me safe, sure, but Daryl just..."

_Was she trying to have girl talk. Be friends? It had been a long time since Danni had done this. _

She had never really thought about her relationship with Daryl from the outside before. Maggie's tone sparked pride in Danni; he was her guy. _Every girl's fantasy? _She wasn't so sure about that, but...

"I bet he's good. Is he good in bed?

_Girl talk felt so foreign. _

When Danni hesitated, Maggie added "I'm sorry I'm asking too much, It's just the way he was yesterday...he acted like he'd do anything to find you." **Anything**."

"No, Its fine, I just haven't talked like this with anybody in such a long time." Danni smiled a little. "Yeah, he's real good."

Maggie nodded. "I knew it." How many times does he make you...?"

"Oh, I, well, twice the other night."

"I knew it." She said again. "Is he always so quiet?"

Glenn interrupted. "Hey guys. The fences on the far side of the pasture have all been reinforced. I'm heading to the ones behind the barn. Maggie do you want to give me a hand?" The way they smiled at each other told Danni they weren't going to fix fences.

"Oh I forgot." Maggie added, standing. "You know you can come use our shower any time. Lori and Carol always do, I never see you here, so just want you to know."

"Is it free now?"

"Yeah, go on. I'll find you later, when y'all get back okay? We should talk more don't you think?" She winked.

"Yeah." Danni said watching them walk to the barn. She stayed on the steps for another minute.

Being pregnant now is stupid. Maggie's words burned in her chest.

Maybe she couldn't do this after all? Perhaps she shouldn't do it. During all the weeks of dreaming, she'd never considered not having it. Was she ignoring what the world had become? Maybe she'd been hiding from the uncertainty of what society would be; if it would even exist at all in nine months? She felt desolate loneliness and panic lingering from the dream._ He wasn't there. Am I being a naïve, foolish?_ For the first time she contemplated Pennyroyal, the herb that in an infusion could end early pregnancy. Light purple flowers native to Georgia and Florida was at her fingertips; she could probably walk right to the tree line and find some now. _You're always running away. If you stay you might want it, you might need it. You might get hurt. Always running and in the end you lose everybody._ She wasn't supposed to run away from this. She felt exhaustion nagging and a slight wave of nausea passed through her again.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo

The shower was just what she needed. Water flowed over her and she imagined it washing away fear and doubt. She looked at the scar forming above her hip bone and red marks on her abdomen that were taking a while to fade. As the warm water cascaded down her shoulders, breasts and hips she wondered what her body could handle. Just how much it could take. She let everything fall away from her and spiral down the drain.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooo

Danni's mind felt as refreshed as her body when she walked slowly down the driveway to the crossroads. With clean hair, clean clothes and the late morning sun clarifying the world around her, she focused on what she **could** do and not on everything that was out of her control. Just as the Wheel of Fortune had told her back on the highway, that very first day she done the Tarot deck dip.

_When you have been pushed in a new direction, know that every path leads somewhere, even if you do not know where it is. Such events are simply out of your control, and if you can accept that then the ride gets a lot easier. If you struggle against the Wheel it will crush you. __Go with the flow. _She still hated the phrase, but the card's indications made complete sense to her now.

She dug until she found the rock and the paper. She released Bendida and thanked her for returning Sophia. Next, she sat in the center of the intersecting dirt paths holding some yarrow flowers and the apple. The cards had told her of her fate, now she needed to check in with the spirits so her intuition could lead her forward. What did she want? Bravery.

She called on the Celtic goddess Brigid, the fire deity, midwife and protector of women and children. She was also the goddess of divination, occult knowledge, poetry and prophecy. It was her Nana's name sake as well as Danni's own middle name. _Protect me and make me brave. Protect us and give us strength. _She put her hand on her belly_._ Danni was a fire sign, Daryl was a fire sign and the baby, being born in nine months, will be an Aries, also a fire sign. _Brigid takes special care of fire._

The apple spell for a safe pregnancy and a healthy baby had been known in her family forever. She helped Brigid preside over it a few times with members of her Traveller family. She never expected to do it for herself. With her knife, she cut the apple in two. She lifted her shirt and took one half and rubbed it gently over her flat tummy knowing it wouldn't stay this way much longer. She envisioned sickness being drawn out of her womb, out of her child, and into the fruit. When she finished visualizing she took the tainted half of the apple and buried it in the ground on the side of the road behind the yarrow plants. If a tree grows from the seeds left in the buried apple, the child will be very strongly linked to the element of Earth, and will never know hunger. She ate the other half of the apple as she walked back to her tent. She waited to feel brave.

"Hell you been? Looking for you everywhere." Daryl sounded agitated.

"Don't do this." She said.

"What?"

"Don't feed me and don't be my watchdog. I don't need that. That's not who we are."

"Who we weren't maybe. I'm not letting anything happen to you again."

"You know this is complete Leo to Sagittarius behavior?"

"Then you should like it."

She stood, her hands on her hips thumbs hooked under her thick leather belt, shaking her head. "I'm serious. Don't suffocate me."

He noticed she'd washed her hair. It was flowing over her shoulders gleaming in the sun, so black it almost looked blue.

"Are we goin' on that run or what?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo

She extended her right leg over the Triumph's seat, and then slid gently on behind Daryl putting her arms around his hips and her boots on the footpegs. When he kickstarted the thundering engine, she centered herself over the motorcycle, her body in line with his, looking over his inside shoulder to keep her weight balanced when they turned. They melded together on the bike as one rider, easy and serene, leaning through each turn of the chopper. Still, she couldn't forget that wedged together on one bike, he held all the power of maneuvering the machine and she literally put her life in his hands. With anyone else she'd be uncomfortable; she'd want to be the rider not the passenger. She'd never trusted anyone this much before.

Sometimes situations seemed so normal she could almost forget about what was happening. Riding behind him, wind whipping her hair, the sun warm on her face and shoulders, no Walkers in sight, it could have been a normal bike ride on a normal day before any of the chaos had started. But she wouldn't have done this with him. The only reason they were together was because of the Walker disaster. There is no way she'd ever have met him before any of this.

They pulled on to the small town's main drag. What had once been picturesque structures lined Main st: a diner, general store, bank, pharmacy, movie theatre and tavern. The buildings hadn't changed in forty years. The red, white and blue RC Cola signs and the pink one that had 'Glamour Beauty Salon' written in black script hanging above the storefronts caught her attention. They were probably from the 1960's. Daryl pulled up and parked next to the small grassy park in the town square between the commercial buildings along Main st and the school and library. A white gazebo took focus in the center of the green space.

Daryl, loaded an arrow and shouldered his crossbow instinctively as they walked to the pharmacy across the deserted square. Danni knew she should have some sort of list, but her distracted mind only remembered the pregnancy tests. The store had obviously been looted a few times. She dodged overturned shelves and debris on the floor to find the feminine product aisle and put the last 4 tests from the shelf into her surplus back pack. She walked a little further and turning the corner saw the diapers. She stood and stared, until Daryl took her elbow and steered her forward.

"What else?" He asked scanning for Walkers.

"Honestly, I don't even know. Vitamins I guess."

She found the last couple of bottles of prenatal vitamins. She shoved them both into her bag.

"I need to go to the library across the way."

She had noticed it when they'd first arrived. She was hoping to find herbal reference books. He followed her across the street, listening and scanning for any sign of trouble. So far everything had been too calm; that they hadn't come across a single shuffling corpse yet surprised him. He kicked open the double wooden doors, clearing the lobby as a they entered. Despite the stale, musty air in the closed up building she still smelled the distinctive odor of old books; grassy notes mixed with a tang of acids and a hint of vanilla over an underlying mustiness. Paper, ink, glue, fibers all aging together affected by light, heat, moisture, and even each other over the years, joined to create one of her favorite scents. He first job had been at a second-hand bookstore when she was fourteen and the smell brought her back there even now. She flipped quickly through the card catalog. Thank goodness this place hadn't caught up to the computer revolution. She located the Cunningham reference books that Brigid owned on the second floor.

"This will be fast" she commented. As he followed her up the creaking wooden stairs his restless, ramped up energy was palpable. She wished she could spend hours here and take a dozen books back.

"We gotta run into some geeks sooner or later." He stalked ahead of her, checking in between the stacks. "All clear up here though."

After finding two of the three books, she turned to Daryl. "All set, let's..." she stopped, reading his eyes. She knew what he wanted and she wanted it too. He walked toward her, his body trapping hers against the wall between the aisles. She dropped the books. "You like it like this don't you?" She asked her stomach twisting with desire and anticipation. "Go ahead and fuck me against the wall."

He dropped his head and kissed her shoulder lightly as he reached to unbuckle her belt. He buried his face in her hair, smelling fresh honeysuckle. She kicked her boots off and pushed her jeans down stepping out of them, giving him access.  
Raising her arms above her head, he pressed his hips against her and she could feel the growing hardness at the front of his pants.

A low moan escaped from his throat and he held her wrists against the wall above her head, using only his hips to pin her. One of his knees slid between hers and forced them apart. She struggled to keep her balance as she moved her legs wider to accommodate his other knee.  
She raised one leg at a time, wrapping them around his waist and she lifted her chin slightly as he shifted his head for a better angle on her neck. She lowered her eyes to where his hand rested on the waistband of his pants. Heat flooded her skin as he slowly pulled down on the zipper, each tooth on the metal popped like gunshots echoing in her ears. It seemed like forever before the zipper finally made its way to the seam in his pants, and as she stared at the entire length of him, her desperate hunger to have him inside of her was clear in her eyes. As a sly smile spread across his face she whispered, "Why are you so mean to me?"

He pushed forward, releasing his hand from her waist and once again he used his hips to pin her to the wall. Flesh touched flesh and she started slightly at the heat erupting between her legs. He roughly pressed his mouth over hers and she felt as if he were eating her alive, consumed by a wild, untamable beast. The lion. She closed her eyes and felt the world tilt; she struggled to keep her bearings but gave up as once again she was too lost to care.

He shifted his hips down and back slightly and heard her whimper as he pressed himself against her. He slid inside of with little resistance and cupped his hands under the backs of her upper thighs. He shifted them slightly higher before burying himself inside of her completely.

A loud intense roaring assaulted her ears as he filled her. She lowered her arms down from above her head and slid them over his roughly cut cotton shoulders stopping on his lower back. She grasped the fabric and pulled it slowly from the waistband of his pants. He shivered slightly as her fingers brushed across his bare skin and his hips thrust forward causing her to gasp.

Her nails scraped across his back, over his scars urging violence. She needed what Maggie had talked about earlier, what his eyes promised when anyone hurt her. She needed it now.  
He shifted slightly and withdrew, dropping his head next to hers. She cried as his teeth sank into her shoulder and thrust forward at the same time.  
Within seconds her lower back was beating painfully against the brick wall behind her. His teeth grazed up her neck and he shifted her legs higher again, going deeper. The overpowering need devoured them both. She had her own raging beast inside, fighting and tearing for release.

Her vision exploded into a thousand lights, then plunged into pitch blackness as every muscle in her body contracted painfully at once. Muscles deep inside of her, that she never knew existed, clenched tightly around him and she heard him groan and sigh in her ear.

The world shattered.

Her body went rigid as the climax ignited deep inside, a torrent of shock waves overrunning her system so powerfully that she could barely breathe. She was just dimly aware of his continuing movements; the powerful strokes pounding her into the wall.

She felt like she couldn't take anymore, but her body refused to listen and her fingernails dug deeper into the scarred skin on his back, demanding, pushing him to continue. He raised his head and she could see his eyes were darker, his control slipping. She moved one of her hands from his back to grab his hair and pulled his face roughly towards hers.

Their mouths and tongues met and he slammed her against the wall, his hand sliding from her thigh to slap against the wall for support. Strong, pulsating flesh against flesh caused her body to defy her brain again and she crashed over the edge once more. He broke the kiss and buried his head back into her shoulder and thrust up for the last time.

A loud pounding in her ears brought her back to herself. She realized that it was her heart hammering against her chest. Swallowing slowly, she struggled to regain her breath. Her entire body tingled as the feeling of the multiple orgasms faded.

He dropped his other hand from her thigh and pressed it against the wall, using it to lever himself slowly away and withdraw as she dropped her legs back to the floor and pulled her jeans on.

She had just come more than she ever had before. She tugged slightly on her bottom lip with her teeth as she watched him fasten his pants. He read her thoughts clearly and raised an eyebrow. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer and his lips lightly grazed over her ear as he spoke "You make me feel like a man when I do that to you."  
Her knees weakened when she saw the hunger still in his eyes.

**_Could we_**

**_Take a walk?_**

**_Could we_**

**_Have a talk alone_**

**_In the afternoon?_**

**_You can hold my hand_**

**_What a dream_**

**_In the grass_**

**_We kissed_**

**_Fell in love too fast, too soon_**

**_-Cat Power_**

They walked side by side down the empty main street, broken window shopping. He carried the two books she'd taken from the library in one hand, his crossbow in the other as if they were on a surreal, twisted date.

She'd never have met him in her old life; never have looked twice at him and she felt sure he wouldn't have looked at her either.

She wanted to hold his hand, but they never did that.

"I **am** pregnant."

"Did you take that test?"

"It's too early. I just know I am."

He nodded, trusting her intuition. He looked worried. "Did we... what we just did, that hurt it or anything?"

"No." His concern touched her. She took his wrist then. He let her.

They crossed the empty street to the town square.

There were no Walkers in the vicinity. They sat under a tree.

The sun's warmth was temperate not sweltering for a change, the grass as soft and cool as a carpet. She lay on her back stretched out looking at the fair weather clouds above them in the blue sky. Her body felt happily spent, her mind finally at ease after telling him.

"We don't really know each other." She noted.

"Know enough." He leaned back against the thick knotted tree trunk.

"You don't even know my last name."

"Doesn't matter."

"Its Doherty. My full name is Danielle Brigid Doherty."

"Okay." He smiled. It always surprised her when he did; his face opened up.

"If we carved our initials into this tree they'd all be Ds." She observed.

_She thought about the strangest things, _he said to himself.

He pulled his knife from its holster and turned to the area of bark behind his shoulder.

He started on the first D.

She sat up, not believing it. "Thought you weren't a bitch. You gonna carve a heart around it and everything?" She teased.

He shrugged, then nodded. "Yeah I am, you gotta have a heart on these things. You best keep it to yourself though." He warned.

He continued to focus, working hard at carving each letter carefully and permanently.

"I want to know stuff about you." She announced.

"Like what?"

"What's your favorite color? What's your favorite song? Favorite food? Do you have a favorite book? That kind of stuff."

"Twenty questions, huh?" He was still focused on his carving.

She nodded. "If you could have one superpower what would it be?"

"Huh?" She was hard to follow sometimes.

"I'd be invisible." She went on. "Be able to make myself invisible when I chose."

He had wanted to do that as a kid. "I get that. Would have come in handy."

"Coke or Pepsi?" She ended her interrogation.

He was quiet, intently focused on starting the heart around the initials, then said "Catcher in the Rye."

"What?"

"My favorite book. Think I can't read?"

"You can read? I thought you lived under a rock your whole life."

"Read it in school." Even telling her this felt good. He couldn't have told Merle he'd read a book and actually liked it. Merle would have ridiculed him and kicked his ass.

She loved that book. It was all there; identity, belonging, connection, and alienation.

What Danni remembered most about the story is Holden Caulfield's fantasy. After misreading the poem 'The Catcher in the Rye', he pictures himself as the sole guardian of a group of children running and playing in a huge rye field on the edge of a cliff. His job is to catch the children if, in their abandon, they come close to falling off the brink, to be a "catcher in the rye." Because of this misinterpretation, Holden believes that to be a "catcher in the rye" means to save children from losing their innocence.

"What do you miss about life before all this Walker shit?" She asked.

He considered the question. He had a girl and a baby on the way which meant a real family for the first time in his life. He had a job-keeping them alive and helping the group do the same. He was good at it; his skills mattered now. He didn't even miss Merle, all that much. He liked being out from under his brother's shadow. It felt good to make up his own mind. As unlikely as it seemed he felt grounded for the first time in his life. "Nothing."

She didn't question his answer.

"Did you ever think about having kids before, back in the real world." She asked.

"Drop another sucker into that mess? Nah."

"Me either." She twirled her hair around her finger nervously. "Can we do this?"

His sandpaper voice became dusky, docile and slightly affectionate. He rarely spoke like this, even to her, but only to her. He continued to look at his handiwork on the tree.

"I never found anyone I wanted to be with the way I want to be with you. That should count for something. I'm not going anywhere."

He'd finished carving their initials inside a heart. He wiped down the knife's blade with the red rag from his back pocket.

"Is that a yes?" She asked, almost wanting to cry at his gesture studying the DD +DD thinking of how innocent it seemed.

He shrugged. "There's nowhere to run anymore. The world is different now." He turned to her. His eyes pierced hers more determined than she'd ever seen. "There's too much dying. We need something to care about."

**He** needed something to care about. Danni's love was slowly reprogramming him. Life had gotten larger somehow. Having a kid might be crazy but it might make living that much better. He found he liked being needed. Besides, he'd do it right, not like his old man. He'd be there and no one would ever lay a hand on his child.

That was his yes.


	28. Little Troublemaker

**_Once again, thanks to best followers on this site, I swear. I am really touched by people saying such wonderful things about my story and the characters and how they affect each other and you guys too. You are all such amazing readers. Its awesome that so many of you like Danni so much. It was a major goal!_**

**_'lil shout outs to:_**

**_*Dead Dahlia who's latest review inspired a plot seed._**

**_*Verostar 1221 for catching on to every little thing and making me feel like a good writer! And for appreciating the sexy times;)_**

**_*Ceegeeayy for writing extra long detailed reviews-u also make me feel like a good writer- I love it!_**

**_*Kiteria and HermioneandMarcus for being here reviewing from day 1 :)_**

**_*Mashella Snape for such detailed reviews and esp. for loving Danni so much._**

**_*Halohunter89 for the back and forth! I wrote that line just for you in the last chapter :_**

**_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooo_**

**_I got the skies and the sweet southern pines to confide in _**

**_I've been running for so long, I might as well just been hiding _**

**_Well, I just can't see love as something to be afraid of _**

**_But then again, it's merely your kiss and make-up _**

**_Well, I just can't see love as something to be afraid of _**

**_But that ain't what the rest of the world got made of _**

**_Whiskeytown_**

21 days after the night of the full moon she peed on that damn stick. It read: pregnant/ 3 weeks.

They decided to keep her condition to themselves. For now. Danni didn't want any one to treat her differently or to feel she was a burden or liability to the group. She kept up with chores and social necessities.

After another two weeks, she was, however, suffering mind-blowing fatigue. She'd always considered herself a trooper when it came to energy and getting the job done. Hell, she'd toured and played shows every night with a bout of mono once. Apparently mono can't shake a stick at the whole "growing another human" thing. She'd never felt so exhausted in her entire life. Her ability to fight it for the first couple of weeks abandoned her and it became impossible to do much more than sleep as the month wore on. She felt guilty, almost ashamed to contribute so little to the group. However, when she wasn't asleep she was overcome with nausea and became dizzy every time she stood. When anyone questioned her more frequent absences, Daryl just said she had the flu. He worried about her but she told him the nausea and exhaustion was normal. At least that's what she'd heard.

"I just have a more extreme case than some women, I guess."

"He's already a little troublemaker, huh?" Daryl commented.

She nodded. "Big time. I do need you to take care of me but only because it's what little troublemaker wants. He's the one in control now. I have no say any more."

"He's smart."

"An Aries." She summed up.

She swallowed her pride and let Daryl bring her meals and watch out for her; she knew he loved every minute by the 'I told you so' look on his face.

Since she knew nothing more about being pregnant than the morning sickness thing, Danni decided to listen to her body. It must know what it was doing. Women had done this for hundreds of years on their own, before hospitals, books and the epidural. _Right?_

At about nine weeks in, she felt a shift; she was definitely not alone in her body. Upon waking every morning she focused her attention on the baby. She talked to him and tried to notice when he woke up too. She meditated on beginnings and sang to him every day. She wanted him to know music even if it would only ever be his mother singing to him. Songbird was another Irish ballad Brigid taught her.

For you there'll be no crying  
For you the sun will be shining  
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you  
It's alright, I know it's right

And the songbirds keep singing  
Like they know the score  
And I love you, I love you, I love you  
Like never before

To you, I would give the world  
To you, I'd never be cold  
'Cause I feel that when I'm with you  
It's alright, I know it's right

And the songbirds keep singing  
Like they know the score  
And I love you, I love you, I love you  
Like never before

Like never before; like never before.

Daryl had put his sleeping bag on top of hers weeks ago and forced her to use both pillows for comfort. Fionn Kitty only left her side to hunt for his meals. He'd taken to supplementing Daryl's rabbit with field mice and sparrows. Between naps she'd lay back and study the herbal correspondence books seeking remedies for her nausea and for flowers and infusions to help labor when the time came. The Bayerl Compendium of Herbal Magick was her go to book because it included illustrations of the plants making it easier to find them in the woods. She kept her tarot cards close but hadn't done a reading in weeks. She focused on the present and hadn't felt a need.

Colder weather was on the way. The air had a slight chill early in the morning and close to dusk through the nights. She wore her tattered hoodie, sometimes one of Daryl's flannels over it. She realized they'd need winter supplies like blankets and warmer clothing. They needed to go on another run soon. She felt useless realizing he'd probably have to go without her. She was practicing radical acceptance _but it really sucked sometimes._

She was glad she'd packed her beat up security blanket of a leather motorcycle jacket even though she'd left for tour in June. She'd felt silly when as it was 90 degrees. Not now. _Something told her she'd need it_.

Daryl pulled out his few long-sleeved shirts and wore his leather vest every day. Whenever he turned and she saw the wings stitched on the back she'd sing _Faithless Street_ by Whiskeytown.

"If angels are messengers from god, please send one down to me..." He'd tell her to shut up but she never did. For some reason, the song made her think of Merle ever since the day he'd cornered her in the lake by quarry, what seemed like a million years ago. Seeing that vest every day brought to mind not only the song but also Merle. Daryl rarely mentioned him. His big brother wasn't looming so large over them anymore.

Danni had never stopped writing the date in her journal and knew it was the beginning of October. She had begun a book for her baby the night after she'd told Daryl she was sure, calling it the _The Once Upon a Time Diaries_. She wrote to the baby daily. She wanted him to know everything when he was old enough.

_How can I explain how you came to be? How can I explain the world you'll live in? I want you to thrive and be fearless like your daddy. You'll never have known our old world; the one he and I had to leave to so we could find each other and create you. Maybe that's a good thing? This new world gave me your daddy and you. My first real family. There is good here. It can't be all bad. _

She loved her son already_._

She copied the lyrics of a song about Fionn at the end of the day's entry. His constellation had disappeared from the night sky with the end of summer, but he and Sadhbh remained in her thoughts.

_"The Legend Of Finn MacCumhail"_

_This mighty soldier on the eve of the war_

_he waged told his troops of lessons learned from battles fought:_

_"May your heart grow bolder like an iron-clad brigade" said this leader to his outnumbered lot._

_Known as a hero to all that he knew, long live the legend of Fionn __MacCumhai_!

_The brave celtic leader of the chosen few, long live the legend of Fionn __MacCumhal_!

_-Dropkick Murphys _

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_

"Rick's worried he's getting out of control. The guy's losing it or something. Up in Herschel's face the other morning. Getting dangerous. Rick aint stupid."

Daryl spoke as she tried to eat the breakfast he'd brought her. She was sick of scrambled eggs but she could usually keep them down. Fruit was completely out and she was averse to coffee which left her in shock. They sat outside next to the fire. He'd gotten in the habit of keeping it going all day for her because he knew she had chills sometimes but also just liked staring into the dancing, crackling flames. He continued to tell her about his conversation with Rick questioning the group's future at the farm. Herschel had a major problem with Shane.

"He's gonna have a meeting or something with Herschel. He wants me there."

"Are you going?"

He shrugged. "What for?"

"Because Rick asked you."

"I don't want to get mixed up with their bullshit.'

"Daryl."

She stared at him. The cat stared at him. He tried to ignore her, but ultimately, he relented.

"Fine, I'll go but its a waste of my damn time. "

An hour or so later, Danni was actually feeling okay. She decided to take advantage of the rare respite from fatigue and queasiness and walk to the edge of the woods looking for nettle for a tea to help calm her stomach. She strolled slowly, ready to head back if she started to become dizzy but so far so good. Moving was feeling welcome, her blood was flowing and she felt clear-headed. Leaves were turning, reminding her how much she loved Autumn.

"This is good." She said to the baby. "Why can't you just let me stay settled down like this more often."

Approaching the barn, Danni was shocked to see Shane pinning Beth, Herschel's younger daughter against the wooden door. Maggie's little sister was a tiny thing, seventeen, maybe eighteen? Danni thought she was the spitting image of the midsummer night faerie illustration in her old childhood bed time story book. Delicate, white blond with rosy innocent cheeks. When she saw Shane obviously frightening her, the familiar anger and disgust she felt toward predatory men began to rise in her chest; she was too emotional to think better of heading over to them.

"What are you doing?" She demanded.

"Oh great, just great. What do you want now?"

"Beth are you okay?" Danni grabbed Shane's arm instinctively pulling him away from the younger girl.

"Of course she's all right. We were just talking. You need to mind your own business and get out of here."

"I.. I'm ... he won't let go..." The girl stammered in her sweet tiny voice.

"When someone tells me to 'get out of here' that usually means I shouldn't. Get off her Shane." This seemed pretty low for Shane to go; Beth was a really young eighteen. _Rick's worried he's getting out of control. He 's losing it or something._

Beth wriggled from his grip, looking relieved, thanking Danni with her eyes. "Go on Beth, Maggie's looking for you."

"You've really become a pain in my ass you know that!" Shane said catching Danni off guard grabbing her shoulders roughly.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo

Daryl had finished talking with Rick about possible changes to the camp with the new season upon them. The idea of everyone possibly moving closer to the farmhouse or even inside made him uneasy. He wasn't sure how he felt about such close quarters for himself. Maybe he'd have to suck it up for Danni's sake. He wasn't sure yet. Still, all that hinged on whether he and Rick could keep Shane from blowing the whole thing and alienating Herschel further. Rick kept saying _we._ It made him bristle a little, but Rick had ideas, plans; Daryl respected Rick's efforts and if something needed doing around here, Daryl figured he'd get on it. _No sense in wasting time sitting around on my ass all damn day. But, we? _

He decided to stop at Carol's to see if she had any lunch ready to take up to Danni. Not that she'd keep it down, but...His thoughts evaporated, surprised to hear her fight voice swearing and cussing close by. What was she doing down here? He rounded the barn and saw Shane gripping Danni's shoulders while she kicked and called him a son of a bitch and yelled something about him going after girls half his age.

Daryl saw red when Shane pushed her forcefully, sending her skidding backwards, slamming hard to the ground. She tried to stand, but doubled over and remained curled on her side in the dirt. Wind knocked out of her.

Daryl was over the fence in a what felt like seconds, swinging at Shane, caught by surprise.

"Don't touch her, hell you doing your hands on her like that! If anything happens to my kid I'll gut you first an' kill you later!"

Shane pushed Daryl off and stepped back, a look of disbelief crossing his face. He hadn't missed 'kid."

"You two are the dumbest motherfuckers I ever come across. Having a kid **now**? Making your own walker bait is what you're doing."

Danni was up by then, holding Daryl back. "Leave it, let's just go." She was still dizzy.

"What the world doesn't need is you two spawning." Shane added. "Though I give you credit Daryl, least she 'aint your cousin."

After that, Danni let him go. She stepped back and watched, making no attempt to stop Daryl, who's rage was understandably intensified by her condition, from shutting Shane's mouth with his fist.

Eventually Rick and T Dog heard the commotion and along with Glenn and Maggie who'd been comforting a crying Beth, were there pulling Daryl and Shane apart.

Shane was breathing heavily, spitting bloody saliva. "So you gonna tell them? I bet the rest of these people here would like to know how you two are putting them at even more risk."

Daryl, still agitated struggled in Rick's grip.

"Tell us what?" Lori and Carol had joined them concerned by the ruckus.

Both Daryl and Danni remained silent. Finally Shane expelled a mean laugh. "Danni's pregnant. Know what that means don't you? Y'all know how loud screaming bawling brats are and how hard it is to shut them up? Gonna be like ringing the dinner bell for the geeks. Y'all want that? I sure as shit don't."

"Shut the hell up! You don't know what the **hell** you're talking about stupid cop!" Daryl almost broke from Rick's grasp again.

"Daryl?" Rick questioned, pushing him farther away from Shane.

"Well what do want us to do, huh Shane?" Danni asked giving Rick his answer. Giving them all the answer.

"Leave. That's what I want. You two aint safe to have here anymore." He looked around. "You all know I'm right. I see it on your faces. We can't risk them bringing a baby into this group. Things are hard enough already."

The shock of the news and Shane's forceful decisive tone, kept everyone silent. Except Andrea. "Shane's right. We have enough to worry about. A noisy baby's going to bring more risk right to our door."

Danni swore Andrea was smiling a little when she added, "They need to go."

"Fine." Daryl shook away from Rick. "We'll be out of your way in the morning." He turned to Danni. "C'mon."

Danni couldn't believe no one had said anything to counter Shane and Andrea. No one.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o

"You all right? Think anything happened to him?" Daryl asked, back at their tent, sitting beside her on the sleeping bags.

"I think he's fine." She hadn't felt any pain or unusual cramping after Shane had pushed her. "He's tough like you."

After a minute of deep silence she stated, "We aren't leaving."

"They don't want us here."

"We don't know that. Shane doesn't speak for everyone."

"Might as well. Saw how they looked at us."

"We need to be here settled as much as possible with the cold coming. This place is the safest we've been so far. No one is driving us off and making us risk anything happening to him. No one. Especially not Andrea and Shane. Fuck them."

He liked that she wasn't backing down, but he refused to be a burden on anyone. That was not how he lived his life. Never had. Never would.

"Don't want to be where we're not wanted like a couple skunks at lawn party." He shook his head. "'Besides, we don't need them Danni."

"They need you."

"Hell you mean?"

"You said it yourself. Rick's worrying about Shane. Look at him. He's obviously getting more unreliable, he's losing it, like you said. How many times have you been out with Glenn and T checking perimeters? How many times has Rick asked your opinion lately? Who do think he's depending on if anything happens. It's not Shane."

He wasn't looking at her, just squinting and chewing on his thumbnail.

"Daryl, what worked for us as kids, what we had to do to survive our fucked up families, it doesn't work out here in the real world. Running away, hiding, retreating, disappearing aren't the kind of survival skills we need now. Not if we want to do our best for our son, okay? We don't have to be those kids anymore." Her voice lowered. "We're **not **them anymore. We deserve more than that, he deserves more." _Hold Fast to the harder path._

Daryl heard her words, but believing them was something else. His relationship with Danni was one thing, but the rest of them? He shook his head.

"Don't you see it?" She asked. "Cause I do."

She knew it was hard for him to hear. She kept going anyway. "Rick needs someone who's not going to crack under pressure. You don't. You won't."

"Sure you're okay?" he asked again.

"Yeah, fine."

He got up, looked down at her and nodded. "I gotta get out of here."

She knew he was struggling. She let him go.

"Cat's out of the bag now." She said when Carol entered the tent after Daryl stalked past.

"Is he okay?" Carol asked concerned.

Danni worried she'd upset him, but said, "You know Daryl, he's fine."

"I had a feeling about you. Those questions you asked me and your being up here all the time lately. How are you feeling?"

"Like shit. Honestly I've never felt so sick in my life. And tired. I could sleep all day, every day."

"That's normal."

"For the whole time?"

"It's different for everyone, but usually just the first trimester."

Danni let out a long deep breath of relief.

"You'll feel more normal once you start the second." Before Danni asked, she added "A trimester is about 12 weeks."

"I don't know anything. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just letting him take over, but it's hard for me to just surrender." Danni laughed a little. "He's giving me no choice."

"This is probably the best thing for you. We all need to let go a little. You said **he**."

She nodded. "I just know. My dreams."

"Well, old wives tales say that with a boy you don't get as big as with a girl, sometimes you don't show much at all till late into the pregnancy."

"When did you start to... get big?"

"Not till about 5 months actually, but its different for everyone

"Everything's gonna be so hard then. Trying to move around and stuff."

"You'll get used to it. I have a feeling you'll make it work just fine."

Danni felt slightly embarrassed asking her next question. She thought she knew the answer, but wanted to be sure. She twirled her hair around her forefinger.

"Carol, is it okay to...to have sex while I'm ...like this?"

Carol nodded with a smile. "If everything's normal you can have sex up until labor if you want."

"Not that I feel like it lately, but I miss it sometimes. Daryl won't touch me. I think he's afraid of hurting me or the baby."

"Most men are, its kind of funny how they get."

"Can I ask you things, if I need to? Like this?"

"Of course." She pushed the hair gently back from Danni's eyes. " I owe you everything; you brought my little girl home."

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo _

Danni finally made it to the woods a couple of hours after the morning's drama. Daryl hadn't returned; he needed time alone to process. She was determined not to let anyone drive them from the farm. It was a new feeling. After the first sting of rejection when no one spoke up for them, she got angry and decided to hold her ground. _Their ground._ Part of her wanted to just take off with Daryl but an emotionally driven choice like that would offer only a temporary fix. Little Troublemaker wasn't just affecting her body. He was getting into her head; influencing her to make rational decisions. The words returned to her mind. _Hold Fast to the harder path. _He'd given her a mantra.

She saw the nettles. Making a tea with nettle and raspberry leaves could ease nausea. She'd try anything at this point. She felt someone behind her. She immediately pulled her knife and spun around. After her experience with Tony, her senses were heightened.

"I know you're not here to congratulate me, so what the hell do you want?" She said, turning to find Shane a foot behind her. He didn't answer.  
"Honestly, I've had enough of you today. And just so you know, we're not going anywhere. Pass that on to your girlfriend." She remembered Andrea's smile earlier.

"Don't get too comfortable yet, the group is gonna vote on this and you aint gonna have a choice."

Before she could answer, she saw him look behind her and mutter "Son of a bitch."

He pushed past her and pulling his police folding knife plunged it into a Walker's head. Danni felt a momentary shock watching the creature fall in on itself and crumble to the ground. It seemed so long since she'd actually had to face one. Suddenly, three more snarling rotted bodies advanced from deep in the woods. Danni took out the next one, her reflexes sharpening quickly, Shane the one after that. It was disgusting but manageable with the both of them working together. She didn't pay attention to what the dead looked like or try to figure out who they had once been anymore. They were just dangerous things to kill. She felt dull arms heavy over her shoulders and the unmistakable rot filled her nose.

"Fuck!" She tried to twist out from under it avoiding its teeth. She tripped, falling beneath the corpse's moving dead weight. Shane was over in a second, pulling it off. Then it happened. While he was helping Danni a last unexpected Walker appeared over his shoulder and tore a piece out of his neck as she watched. He pushed the creäture to the ground punching it then fell back against a tree. She pulled herself up and skull crushed the Walker who'd been on top of her and stomped the head of the one that had bitten Shane. The air became silent and still. She turned slowly, to see Shane against the tree. It had not been an illusion.

"You, you're..." She struggled to make sense of the scene before her. "You saved my life."

"Its my way of apologizing for being such a dick to you lately." He tried to joke.

She felt a tear roll down her cheek and tasted its salt on her lips. He was matter of fact, but his eyes were wide with fear. She knew what she had to do. Her stomach churned.

"Do it. Got no choice girl. You know what'll happen." He handed her the Glock 22, the gun he'd tested her with at the quarry camp; the one given her when she'd gone to Atlanta to look for Merle.

"Keep it. Its got your name on it remember?" He said repeating his words to her from that very day. He had been a good guy at one time. "Don't say I never gave you anything."

"Shane, what happened to you?" She wondered aloud.

He shook his head. "He's lucky... Daryl. I don't know what you see in him, but I know what he sees in you. If you'd gone for me, everything might have been different." He smiled sadly. "I know that thing we did, when you broke down on the road, meant nothing to you, but I fell for you that day. Really did. Say you liked it; I could tell you did." He let out a wet cough. Blood was getting into his lungs from the bite to his throat.

She was too overcome to say anything.

He stared into her eyes and ordered. "Do it. Now."

"All right, so give me the four rules." She said blinking back tears. She wanted him to think about something else. She used the gun safety rules, one of the first things she had ever said to him.

His voice was getting weaker with blood loss and she still heard fear.

She aimed for his head knowing he wouldn't close his eyes.

"All guns are always loaded," He coughed up a spot of blood then went on, "never let the muzzle cover anything you are not willing to destroy, keep your finger off the..." She pulled the trigger and the crack echoed louder in her ears than any sound ever had.

"trigger until your sites are on the target, be sure of your target and what is beyond it." She continued his list softly, feeling unreal as he slumped over and slid down the tree trunk.

The shot brought Rick and Daryl running to the trees. Four or five dead scattered Walkers lay on the ground. Danni was sitting beside Shane's body, his neck ripped open by dead teeth and his head pierced by her bullet. They were clear about what had happened.

She turned to them and looked up, her eyes huge, darker than Daryl had ever seen them. "He saved my life."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo

Even the air felt solemn as they all stood in a half circle around the fresh mound of dirt. The smell of cool acrid earth overpowered Danni. Sweat and muddy grime covered Daryl and Rick from their hours of digging and burying. They insisted on doing it alone; the best friend and the adversary. The symbolism was not lost on her.

Danni stood by the grave long after the others had drifted away. The she sat. Shane had broken. He had been a decent guy in the beginning of all this. The pressure and horror of this new existence brought out the worst in him. But at the end, his decency came through. He'd saved her baby's life. She sat down, feeling conflicted and more grateful than ever before in her life.

"Danni, hey there." Maggie drawled and sat beside her on the ground. "I'm really glad you're okay."

Danni smiled slightly, and gave Maggie's hand a quick squeeze.

"I'm so sorry about what I said the other day. About how stupid it would be to get pregnant."

"Its okay." Danni drew her legs up, hugging her knees to her chest.

"I didn't mean, well what I meant was ..."

"I know." Danni paused. "Its scary now. That's what you meant and you're right. It is damn scary."

"You're staying right here on this farm. No one wants you and Daryl to go, you know that right?"

Danni nodded again.

"And you can count on us, Glenn and me, to help you if you need anything."

"I know, I appreciate it, really."

"Hey Danni, congratulations. You're gonna be a mom." She smiled.

Maggie was the first to say it. Although they didn't know each other well, Danni took a chance, reached over and hugged her. Maggie hugged back and they began to laugh.

"You know there is something else." Maggie began. "Glenn told me you're a psychic. You can do Tarot readings."

"Yes. I don't say psychic, but yeah, readings definitely."

"Could you do one for me?'

"Why? Is something wrong or are you just curious.?"

"The pregnancy test. I took it and it didn't give a result. It blurred together. So I figured it was defective. I tried another one same thing. Danni, the third one too. Weird right? Yours was from the same batch and I'm guessing worked."

"It did. That is weird. I wouldn't worry though."

Maggie looked worried.

"Tomorrow, I'll come by and we'll do a reading okay?"

"Thanks, I'd like that."

"But, send Glenn to get another test."

Maggie stood nodding and while walking away said, "I'm happy for you and Daryl. Real happy."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 

After dusk, Daryl approached and crouched beside her. He put her hoodie over her shoulders.

"Staying here all night?"

"Are you glad he's dead?"

"Not glad. I hated the prick, but nobody deserves to go like that."

"You realize what he did, don't you?"

Daryl knew he owed Shane his baby's life, Danni's too. He wished he didn't. He nodded.

"He was gonna be a problem. Don't forget that. He was goin' off the rails. He don't deserve you sitting vigil like this." Daryl didn't like it.

"I know."

When she didn't get up he said "Its getting cold." Meaning 'let's go.'

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

The fire outside the tent was going strong, providing warm, golden light. The flames flickered in both their eyes.

"I didn't mean to upset you. I know Shane was a problem. Hell he's been **our** problem for months."

"He tried to come between us, you know that." Daryl reminded her.

She nodded. "But, pulling the trigger, looking in his eyes after what he...was just..."

"Its done, stop thinking about it. Can't afford to. You're here, he's not; that's all that needs thinking about."

"Its done." She assured him, knowing he was right.

He hadn't said anything about their earlier conversation, but Danni realized he'd spent most of the day with Rick even after the Shane situation. Walkers getting so close today was a potential disaster. Rick needed Daryl's help more than ever.

She stood and pulled him to his feet.

"Hey, Little Troublemaker isn't giving me any trouble right now." Danni leaned forward, wrapped her arms around Daryl's neck and shoved her body forcefully against his. One of his hands drifted to her waist while the other slid up the side of her body and cupped the back of her head, fingering and playing with her pony-tail.

"You like my hair, don't you?" Danni asked softly.

"Yeah." It was black as midnight and smelled like honeysuckle all the time.

He missed her body; missed connecting with her that way. "You sure we aint gonna hurt him?"

"Yes, I already told you."

It had been weeks since she'd felt okay enough to have sex. On the rare occasions when she had, he'd begged off. She knew he was afraid. They'd never gone this long without each other since they'd been together.

Daryl angled his face down and kissed her, sliding his tongue in between her lips seeking out her own. Upon finding it he sucked at it gently and she moaned softly into his mouth.

"Let's just take it easy, tonight." He pulled back.

He was still thinking about the baby. Worrying. She shook her head, pushing against him.  
Kissing her and feeling her warm body pressed to his sent heat up his spine and he began to harden. He tried to hide his erection from her, but she pressed her right thigh against it and began to rub from side to side, trying to work him up more.

"I need you." _ To fuck this whole goddamned day out of me_. She felt desperate for him. It had been so long and her hormones were all over the map.  
Her words broke him down. He slid his hand inside her jeans and cupped it against her sex, stroking and rubbing at her pussy through the moist cloth.

As his hand stroked her between her legs, she moved her mouth back to his and began kissing him hard, while rubbing her thigh against his crotch to keep him nice and stiff.

The cloth of her panties became damper as her hips began to slide against his hand urging him to rub harder, faster.  
The torture of being kissed and finally touching her again made him start moving back and forth between her thighs gaining a certain amount of pleasure from the friction. Danni eased her lips away from his and slid her tongue down his cheek, licking its way along his jaw line until her lips made contact with his ear. She pulled him down and straddled his lap facing him, grinding slightly, to maintain their intense arousal.

They sat for a moment and looked at one another, sharing the silence in complete comfort. That was one thing that he still found hard to believe, how easy it was with her. It wasn't just sex. Daryl felt comfortable no matter what they were doing. She moved off his body and lay beside him. They silently rushed to undress. He positioned himself on top of her with his erection pressed between her legs. He distributed a large part of his weight onto his left arm which was lying above her head so he wouldn't be too heavy on her body.  
He shuddered in anticipation when he moved himself against the folds between her legs. He reached down between them and eased himself in. It had been so long since he'd been here. He lay still inside wanting to feel her adapt to him. Everything suddenly faded until only Danni remained. She was looking at him with her large hazel eyes, lips quivering slightly as her tongue darted out now and then to lick them.

"Fuck me," she finally whispered, loosening her legs around his waist.

Daryl didn't need to be told twice. In the time it takes to blink he'd already pulled back and thrust deep into her again, groaning as she tightened around him. The initial strokes were long and slow; he wanted the experience to last as long as humanly possible.

Soft throaty sighs escaped her as she panted and her body began to rock in time with his, elevating her pelvis to meet the thrusts, making him drive into her harder and faster. Then she kissed him, passionate and hungry all tongues and soft lips.

"You feel so goddamn good." Danni couldn't hold back the words.

Every time he banged deep she would let out a low, guttural grunt. Her eyes were shut tight and her brow was creased, sweat forming on it as they continued to pound their bodies together.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?" he asked, still worrying a little.

Danni didn't open her eyes or answer him, she just continued to shove her hips upwards and pull his body down against hers. Her warm confines were driving him insane.  
"Don't know how much longer..." he gasped, beginning to get that familiar ache as he slammed in and out of her.  
"It's okay," she whimpered. "I'm going to cum soon...don't hold back, keep fucking me as hard as you can."

'Yeah?" He rasped.

"Uh huh," she said, bringing a hand to his face and stroking his cheek gently. Her trembling lips found his and they kissed, while he continued thrusting.  
"Make me cum." She breathed from beneath him, pressing her hips against his still trying to drive him further into her body. Her arms tightened around his back as her lips became shaky on his and her entire body quaked. She was close.

"That sounded...like...an order," Daryl groaned, his own orgasm so imminent that he could only stammer out his words.

"Good, because... that's what it was."

"As long...as we're clear...about it."

Then Danni came. At first her body hardened against his and her mouth opened and melted into him, her hips jerking against his with involuntary thrusts and grinds.

"Oh shit, I can't...please..." she whispered and whimpered as the pleasure between her legs shot through her entire body. Daryl loved doing this to her, creating such a powerful reaction.

"Fuck Daryl, don't stop."

While her body shook with the intensity of her orgasm, he felt her spasm and twitch every few seconds at his continuous invasion. Low cries came from her throat as he kept fucking her, each hard stroke bringing him one step closer to reaching his own climax. All of a sudden she pulled his neck down to her mouth, clamping her teeth around his skin in trying to smother the cries. The vibrations and muffled moans that passed through her teeth to his skin, coupled with the effects her pussy was having on him, sent an intense rush of heat through him. It had been so long since he'd been here with her like this.  
"Now it's your turn, cum for me," she sighed, her voice husky and trembling. Danni's words drove him over the edge. Her soft, warm body was still writhing against his and it began to build up; he throbbed and spurt, shuddering as came deep inside her body. Daryl's lips found hers and he kissed her, groaning into her mouth as he let himself go. Warm skin touching warm skin, wet tongues, soft breasts, stroking hands; it was all so much that he began to shake.  
"Daryl? Are you alright?"

"Fine." he stammered.

"You're not fine, you're shivering."

"It's just that what we just did feels ..." It was almost like their first time.  
"I know," she whispered. "Words can't."

They kissed again, this time a sweet kiss with one of her hands tenderly caressing his cheek, while the other roamed his back. It took almost five minutes of soft kissing and gentle stroking for Danni to settle him, her patience and warmth so clear that he couldn't help but feel his heart ache realizing she always knew what he needed.

"Better?" She smiled. The one he'd loved since he first saw it.

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that."

"Never be sorry with me."

Daryl loved how she looked at him but he still didn't know how she saw into his soul to emotionally connect with him in a way no other person ever had. Or ever would. He just knew he trusted her.  
His eyes continued to pierce hers, until finally Daryl felt tears forming, forcing him to blink rapidly. As he wiped them away and opened his lids, the first thing he saw was Danni softly smiling at him, tears streaming from her own eyes.

"You're beautiful." He'd never said that to her before. He wasn't comfortable with compliments, so she treasured this one.

"Flattery will get you everywhere."

"I thought I just did get everywhere."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After an hour or two he woke and reached for her but she wasn't next to him. She was always up at night now. He heard her retching outside the tent. He went out and found her on her knees. He leaned over her, holding her hair back, feeling helpless as she heaved with nothing to expel. Finally she collapsed. He pulled her crumpled, spent body on to his lap, and pushed her strands of sweaty hair back from her face.

"I'm fine, go back to sleep."

"Bullshit you aint fine. Just shut up." He said as he held her. "Sorry." He mumbled, wishing he could stop this from happening to her. It was all the time lately. She couldn't keep anything down.

"Little Troublemaker at it again?"

She nodded into his lap.

"Try to sleep." He said.

She crawled into the tent with him and lay beside his solid form, head on his arm, her nausea beginning to subside.

_ Little troublemaker all right_. She laughed softly, pressed against him for warmth and closed her eyes.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You can take the gun off my back Merle. And untie my hands. I'm not going anywhere; I'm bringing you to him. I promise. After what you did for me back there...'

"Promise, huh? Well, little queenie, seeing as we're practically family, I can do that."

_Family; oh my god. Uncle Merle?_

He untied her.

"Can I have my knife back, I'm kind of sentimental about it."

"Don't think so darlin'. We aint family **yet."**

She sighed two out of three was pretty good.

"And just remember I didn't do nothin' for you. Did it for Daryl."

"Like a big brother should." She stated.

Merle grunted.

They walked through the woods in silence until Danni said "You couldn't have saved him you know."

"Hell you talking bout queenie?"

"I saw his scars. You have your own fair share I bet."

"Watch it, you don't know nuthin' about me and my brother. Want me to put a gag on ya? I will."

"I know you meant to go back. But once you get away, **really** get away, the freedom and the not being afraid and having a life for the first time it just...it gets in the way. You mean to. You meant to go back."

"I think I might be using that gag in a minute." He warned.

"But everybody forgets about you." She kept on. "You got the shit beat out of you too. Or worse. You had to save yourself because when you're the oldest there's no one looking out for you." She sounded far away as if she were talking more about herself than Merle. "No one. You could only have protected him so much. Shit, you were just a kid too. Maybe older but still a kid. Sometimes it doesn't seem fair they put too much on small shoulders you know?"

"Life aint fair." Merle was visibly uncomfortable. "This what my brother likes about you? All this running your mouth off? Got tongue enough for ten rows of teeth." He said it with less gruffness than she expected.

"I never told anybody this."

"Well don't go tellin' me then. Shut your mouth or I'll shut it for you. I don't care what Daryl thinks." Again, his tone had less snarl, less anger than usual.

Her voice got softer. "I did go back, but it was too late. She was already gone. She killed herself that night, right before I showed up to take her away from it all. My little sister; she was only thirteen. I was an hour too late. A fucking hour." Danni still had the note, but she'd memorized Tara's written words; they lived forever in her head.

_I met the devil in a dark white room, said she was up for me to play the fool_

_Then she gave me a gift, "take this pill and go to sleep"_

_I never woke up_

Danni didn't cry over it anymore. She was struggling to come to terms with the fact that it wasn't her fault. She was sixteen, just a kid too. She imagined Merle living with his own kind of guilt.

"Queenie, why you tellin' **me **this?"

"Because you're the oldest too." She studied his eyes, he looked away agitated.

"You didn't lose Daryl. I'm taking you to him."

"Merle is alive." She said aloud opening her eyes.

She shook Daryl awake.

"What, you okay..."

"Merle is alive."

"What are you talking about?" He turned toward her. Her words sent chills down his spine. She was breathless and earnest as she spoke.

"A dream, my dream. He's out there Daryl and I think he's looking for you."

_If angels are messengers from god, _  
_Please send one down to me _  
_  
_


	29. You're Fucking Perfect

**_My temper got the best of me_**

**_And when I said that, I mean  
I know every single thing  
That I said was true_**

_**And I know that you're mad at me**_  
_**But if you're thinking like that,**_  
_**I think you'll see that you're**_  
_**Mad at you too**_

_**And I know the feeling's strong**_  
_**Strong enough to forget about**_  
_**All that I've been through**_

**_-Jack White_**

As they dressed the next morning, Daryl seemed subdued, quieter than usual and his eyes were farther away than they'd been in weeks. Danni knew he was thinking about Merle. She shouldn't have told him about the dream. Maybe it wasn't even one of **those **dreams. Being pregnant can cause odd dreams and besides she'd been thinking of Merle lately because of that song. It was unconscious.

She tugged on her black jeans noticing they were getting tight despite the lycra. She felt bloated and slightly uncomfortable when she buttoned them. She let her belt out again; in the past month she'd gone from tightening it one extra notch in to loosening it two notches out. She couldn't get away with ever going bra less any more. Her B cups were a sore, sensitive C at least. The problem was that the bras she did have were too small, confining and uncomfortable so she had to wear a sports bra she used to sleep in. Maybe Maggie knew of a clothing store they could hit, hopefully not too emptied out yet. She was going to need bigger sizes. She was hardly showing but she felt like her body was already out of control.

"Sorry I bothered you last night with that stupid dream. It's probably nothing." She broke the silence, pulling her Wildcats t-shirt over her head. She yanked it down to cover her imaginary giant stomach.

"All your damn dreams mean something. I should be out looking for him again instead of wasting all my time around here with these people. Merle is blood." He buttoned up the his gray work shirt, the sleeves roughly cut off as usual.

She shook her head. "He's supposed to find you." Knowing in her heart it was one of **those** dreams

She remembered the tone of Daryl's voice in Atlanta when they'd been tracking his brother through the abandoned building. If his admiration and hero-worship had bothered her then it frightened her now. If Merle walked back in to their lives today, Daryl could very well fall right in line with him. Guys like Merle got in your head, and stayed there.

Daryl planned to spend most of the day hunting; the group could use a good supply of meat to store for the upcoming months. Deer would be perfect. He hadn't bagged a deer in ages.

He was about to head out, when she stopped him. "Hey, kiss me goodbye?"

He never did and she'd never asked him to before. Today she needed it.

She stood in front of him on tip toe, and initiated the soft, sweet kiss. When she reached up and put her arms around his neck and held him close, he fidgeted.

"All right, c'mon I gotta go." He gave her that very small smile. "Keep this up I won't make it out of here."

She pressed her face against his chest breathing him in, before reluctantly releasing him. When he walked away she held him in her sight as long as she could. He eventually disappeared into the trees and she felt like crying. Suddenly she was lonely. She'd always liked her time alone. What was up today? She was not herself, over emotional and clingy. A part of her had wanted to tell him not to go. It was the hormones. She felt like she was inhabiting somebody else's mind and body. She swallowed her unease; she just felt so vulnerable and unattractive.

She got ready to head down to the farm for Maggie's reading, putting a notebook, pen, reference book and a white candle in her olive drab bag. It had been a while since she'd felt the need to do a deck dip for herself, but her discomfort prodded. She sat on her sleeping bag and shuffled. She held the Tarot cards to her chest and breathed deeply, shuffled again and placed the deck face down. She pulled the top card and turned it over. The three of Swords. Her brow furrowed and he heart began to race. The Three of Swords is a simply illustrated card with a difficult message. A heart, suspended in the air, is pierced by three swords. The heart is symbolic of emotion and beauty, while the piercing swords show the ability of logic and power to harm the physical body and the emotions. The sky is heavily clouded and rain pours down violently, representing a grim time. It had to be a mistake._ The cards don't make mistakes_. She knew the Three of Swords represents rejection, sadness, loneliness, heartbreak, betrayal, separation and grief. Why? Things were finally going so well. She felt her heart would beat out of her chest._ Merle? S_he remembered the dream she'd had weeks ago about Daryl leaving her and going off with Merle. Was that it? What else could possibly cause Daryl to betray her?

She shook it out of her head. She needed a clear mind and open energy to interpret Maggie's reading.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooo

"Lets go to my room. I don't think my daddy would be too happy seeing this at the kitchen table next to his bible." She winked.

Maggie took Danni's hand leading her upstairs. The two women sat on the antique patchwork quilt that covered Maggie's queen sized bed; they faced each other cross-legged with space between for the spread. Danni unwrapped the cards and lay the square of black silk over the space between, while the white candle burned on the dresser. Danni noticed Maggie's childhood teddy bears were still propped against the dark wooden headboard. She had no idea where any of her own girlhood toys or stuffed animals were now. _Probably at the bottom of a landfill somewhere._

"Shuffle once, then hold the deck against your chest and breathe deeply a few times to put your energy into the deck." Danni instructed, handing the cards to Maggie.

"This is a basic seven card Tarot spread for looking at the way things are heading for you. Think about your question." After Maggie did what Danni instructed, Danni said "Shuffle one last time and place the deck face down. Now pick 7 card and hand them to me one at time."

Danni took each card singly from Maggie placing them in properly numbered place in front of her, grid like.

She looked up, shaking her bangs aside. "Ready?"

Maggie nodded.

Danni spoke, her voice strong, authoritative but gently supportive. Maggie could tell she knew what she was doing.

"The first card represents the power of your past: The Queen of Swords. She indicates a quick thinker, an organised perceptive person; these traits formed you and you are always grounded by them. I have to say, I see it in your personality.

The second card is the power of the present: The Four of Wands. This card symbolises stability and firm foundations; you are now enjoying a period of happiness while feeling grounded. This card indicates a sense of harmony and balance as well as completion but its all as the result of often difficult and challenging efforts. You and Glenn went through hell before finding each other didn't you?

Maggie nodded.

"He makes you feel safe huh? Solid. You guys are connected and you make each other happy. He is your source of stability now and you are his."

Maggie chewed on her bottom lip, processing the words.

"Now the third card shows the power of the future: The Hierophant. This card symbolizes commitment and pledges..." Danni paused, "Specifically marriage."

She glanced up anxiously, bur Maggie looked calm.

"The next card represents necessary experiences brought on by the past but they will also lead you to your future. 6 of Swords: Regretful but necessary transition, rite of passage. Something is going to change. It will be difficult but necessary to complete future plans. Don't fight it, okay?

Now, here are some things that you need to harness, or balance in order to each your proper destiny. The Chariot: Control, will power, victory, assertion, determination. These are attributes that you need but only in balance and moderation. Too much of any one of them can damage your relationships.

"Will power? Don't have much of that." Maggie said sarcastically, with a laugh.

"Now we see obstacles that you must overcome or avoid. The Tower Reversed: Avoidance of disaster, fear of change. You need to accept major upheavals in life no matter how frightening. You can't run from disaster you have to face it so it won't destroy you.

The outcome card is the Ten Of Cups. Wow, Maggie my Nan called it the 'Happily Ever After card.' It promises long-term commitment, joy and union in love often resulting in pregnancy and a happy family."

They were silent for a few moments. Finally Danni asked "What do you think?"

"Its good to have girls around."

They smiled at each other, feeling a feminine kinship growing. Danni knew Maggie needed her to cut to the chase. "Maggie, you aren't pregnant now. The cards tell me that you will be, but its going to be when you and Glenn plan it. That's what the Ten of Cups says. You'll have the advantage of deciding."

"The tests, why did they blur like that?"

"Because you are going to make your own results. No test can to tell you. You aren't going to need a test when the time is right." Danni realised that sounded a little nutty even though she meant it so she added. "They were probably defective anyway. I'll copy this down for you to read over. You'll probably have questions for me over the next few days. It's a lot to take in at once."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

Danni and Maggie sat on the porch steps, in the warm late afternoon sun. It felt like Indian summer in Minnesota. Hours had passed without either of them realizing, they'd been talking non stop.

"You know, I never really had a serious relationship before Glenn." Maggie stretched her long legs out and lay back on the worn wooden planks of the porch resting her arms beneath her head. "Just a boyfriend here and there. My daddy hated every one and none could keep up with me."

"I only had one other one before Daryl. Besides him my track record sucked. Every single guy cheated, like I had radar for them or something. Bastards." Danni laughed, relieved those days were over.

"I feel almost like the world had to change, end in a way for me to meet Glenn. Is that crazy?"

"No, Maggie, that's **exactly** how I feel. Its like this was all fated or something." Danni pulled her knees up hugging them to her chest, her favorite. sitting position lately.

Maggie nodded. "That reading you did, it all pointed to marriage didn't it?"

"Commitment."

"It won't scare me if you tell me straight out. I'm the kind of girl who likes the truth blunt as can be."

"Okay yes. Marriage and pregnancy. Just not now. But it's there. Plus its lasting, happy. I feel it. That was a powerful reading. "

Maggie took a deep breath.

"Glenn is the best guy to go through all of this with. He loves you so much." Danni encouraged.

"I love him. I want to tell him, but, is it too much too soon?"

Danni hadn't realized she was crying until Maggie asked her what was wrong.

"Oh, I'm ...Maggie I don't know what the hell is wrong with me today. All day, I feel clingy and emotional and insecure. I hate it."

"Its hormones. You'll be either crying and depressed or acting like a raging bitch with no in between. At least that's what all my cousins were like when they were expecting."

"Well, if it isn't little Maggie Greene."

Both Danni and Maggie stood, surprised by a woman's slow, sing-song Georgia drawl. They were shocked to see Daryl marching what looked like a Victoria's Secret model in hiking boots, camouflage cargo pants and a tight white tank top toward the farm-house, arrow at the back of her head. She must have been 5' 8" as she was almost as tall as Daryl at 5' 10". She had burnished copper-red hair piled on top of her head, but lustrous curls had come loose indicating her glossy mane reached well over her shoulders.

"Says she knows you and your family!" Daryl called to Maggie. "That right?"

"Truly? Truly Bishop?" Maggie asked surprised.

"Told you sweetie." The feisty red-head glanced back at Daryl batting full lashes over clear aqua blue eyes and teased. "Told you there was no reason to be worried about little ol' me." Her drawl much like Maggie's.

He lowered his weapon and stepped out from behind her. "How was I 'sposed to know, with you sneaking around the woods like that? And then trying to steal my deer."

She faced him, long toned, tanned arms her sides, then placed a hand on her right hip tilting it up. "Excuse me? That was my deer."

"I tracked that thing since morning, you can't just come along and take it cause you got a lucky shot." Daryl complained.

"Lucky shot?"

Danni listened to their banter and was aware of the woman's overtly flirty body language and touchiness with Daryl. He hadn't even looked over to her yet.

"Yeah, lucky. Two seconds later the shot was **mine**." He went on.

"Truly, its been, a few years. Where are...how did..."

The Amazonian huntress ignored Maggie, still focused on Daryl. "Hand it over. Pretty please?"

He huffed, and handed her crossbow back to her.

_You've got to be kidding me. Of course she has one too. _Danni thought, feeling her tummy bulging over her pants, generally bloated and uncomfortable.

"Why don't we go on back and bring the carcass in from the woods. It 'll take both of us to carry and field dress it. Now that you know you can trust me."

"All right let's go." Daryl was focused on the idea of bringing the damn animal back here in good time so they could actually start dressing it.

"Come on then." She touched his arm.

He pulled it back instinctively in his Daryl way, but more slowly than normal._ I'm imagining that. _Danni assured herself.

Maggie must have sensed it also because she walked toward the two and said "Truly, c'mon my dad will want to see you first. He'll be glad you're okay. How about your brothers? Your daddy?"

Danni finally stepped off the porch and approached Daryl, feeling the woman's eyes boring into her back. She wanted to grab him and start kissing him right there in front of her, but she didn't play games like that. He actually, put his hand and under her chin to raise her face and asked,  
"Feeling okay?"

She frowned slightly. "Not really." She'd been waiting all day for his return. This was not how she'd pictured it.

Truly Bishop was a distant neighbor of the Greene's. She was the only daughter in a family of militant survivalists. Her mother had passed away when Truly was young leaving her to be raised in the Bishop family tradition by her father and two older brothers. She was expert in hunting, shooting, trapping, tracking, able to live off the land and the damn grid if it came to that. She was the female Daryl but with confidence and a large personality. She knew she was beautiful, and loved that she was also a formidable hunter and outdoors-woman as capable as any man, on top of her looks.

The woman's striking dark aqua eyes hadn't left Danni for a minute. She knew Truly was sizing her up.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"So, what kind of bow do you carry? Daryl has one of those Hortons. Been wanting to get my hands on one like his for ages now." Truly chattered on at the Greene's kitchen table eating, across from Maggie and Danni. She had taken a shower and cleaned up after her month of living in the woods on her own. If she was pretty before she was beautiful now. Her fiery red hair flowing down her back, her body completely toned. All her lean muscle, glowed with a healthy light tan. Her long shapely legs were made for the tiny cargo shorts she poured herself into. Even her hiking boots looked sexy on those legs

"I don't. That stuff bores the crap out of me." Danni was honest. She had no idea that Daryl's crossbow had a brand name and it was obvious that this woman wanted to get her hands on more than his weapon.

"Usually a man like Daryl needs a woman who can keep up. I just assumed..."

"Nope." Danni got defiant. "I've never been hunting in my life. That's his thing. He knows I'm not into it. He 's interested in doing other things with me."_ Bitch_

"Well where I come from a man don't have much use for a woman if she can't skin and gut his kill for him never mind help him hunt it down. But I take it ya'll aint from around here are ya? Maggie knows what I mean. Oh and I think Daryl and I are from the same area, up state north Georgia. Where I was born. Can tell by his accent."

Danni wasn't going sit and listen any more. She knew exactly how this woman operated.

"Like I said, I worked on other talents, you could call them indoor skills, that he seems to have a lot of use for," She said getting up. "Its been** super** talking with you, but I have to get back. Daryl's waiting."

"I'll walk you out." Maggie joined her.

"Whoa." Maggie said as they reached the front steps. "Was she just saying what I think she was saying?"

"Yes. Loud and clear. I haven't had to deal with shit like this since...thought it was over, you know?" Where the hell did she come from anyway?"

"She lived about ten miles past us here through the woods. We didn't see too much of the Bishops, they kept to themselves mostly. Self sufficient homesteaders and all that. I guess when they ran out of supplies in their bunker they had to move on. Her Daddy didn't make it and she lost track of her brothers. She's on her own now, but she's lived this way her whole life. "

"A fucking crossbow Maggie? Seriously? How can I compete with that?"

"Danni, its your hormones talking. Shit, you don't have to worry about Daryl."

"Yes I do. Maggie, any man can be led around by his dick. Any man."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

"I've known the Bishops for thirty years, if Truly is on her own now, I'd feel right taking her in."

Herschel said his piece while the group sat or stood scattered around the Greene's living room as dusk fell on the day of Truly's arrival. They were attempting to decide the status of the new comer.

Rick nodded. "I understand Herschel, but none of us know her. We still need to vote on this."

Herschel nodded. "My girls and I say yes."

"Well I for one don't want to take in a stranger." Andrea spoke up first. Danni actually wanted to hug her at that moment.

"If you guys know her, her family, I think she should stay." Glenn added his two cents.

T Dog nodded approval for the move as well as Dale and Carol.

For a minute, Danni wished Shane were there; he'd be on her side. He was against strangers coming in to the group.

When Daryl suddenly spoke, he got everyone's' attention since it was rare for him to take part in these things. He was leaning against the wall by the front door. "Be good to have somebody else to share all the hunting with."

Danni almost threw up.

"Danni, how 'bout you, what's your say?" Rick asked.

"I'm sorry, I'm..." she sprung up from her seat on the couch, her hand over her mouth feeling her stomach begin to heave; she was going to vomit; she made it out the front door and to the dirt path beside the porch before it all came up.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

The first few days of Truly passed uneventfully. Danni kept her up routine of waking, singing and talking to the baby, writing in his book and studying herbal lore. Carol told her that she'd start to feel the baby move a little in another week or two. She couldn't imagine how powerful that would be. Daryl had been working with Glenn and Rick building a new fence at the edge of the woods where the Walkers had gotten to Shane. Daryl was acting normally around her so she tried to focus on that and not let her unease put a strain on anything. Maggie was right, the hormones were making her crazy. It was just bad timing to have a newcomer around now, when Danni felt so vulnerable. She just kept her eye on Truly.

After having lunch with Maggie at the house one afternoon, Danni started to feel her usual, nauseous, bloated exhausted self. She had to cut their visit short. As she walked back to her tent, all she could think about was putting on her boxers and a shapeless t-shirt, giving in to the discomfort and spending the rest of the day inside her sleeping bag. _I love you Troublemaker, but I can't wait till this part is over_. She thought these symptoms were supposed to be decreasing.

_Almost there. _That's when she heard them. Behind the tent Daryl was skinning something he'd caught, Truly beside him, critiquing his work and apparently offering tips on how to more efficiently _rip the skin off of a dead animal. What the fuck? How hard could it be?_

They were so engrossed they didn't notice her until she was beside them.

"Hey." She said to Daryl. "Didn't expect company."

He didn't pick up on her sarcasm. She pulled him slightly aside. "I feel like shit, can you come sit with me for a little?"

"When we're done, got a pile of these things."

"You wouldn't know this a 'course, but you can't let dead animals just sit out here without being skinned and gutted, they rot and cause the damnedest smell." Truly had to add.

"You know what? Don't bother. I'm going to sleep."

He didn't get the disgust and hurt in her tone. Truly did. Danni saw it in her eyes. She was too tired, too sick for this now.

She laid down feeling like she was back in high school or something. She cried because she didn't have the strength to kick Truly's ass. Not yet anyway.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The fencing was coming along at the west side of the pasture where Walkers had killed Shane. Daryl headed to the barn, on a hunt for some more rail and wire. He and Glenn were going to have to make a run into the hardware store soon but he was sure he could scavenge a couple of items from the barn for now. He noticed Truly sitting on the small fence by the side of the barn, sharpening her hunting knives as he passed. Her outdoor abilities impressed him. She may have shot his deer the other day, but the shot took skill none the less. And she knew how to move in the woods. He hadn't noticed her out there; she'd almost gotten the jump on him which was unheard of. She liked talking about knives and arrows and what was the best game for this time of year. If she'd stop trying to touch him so much, she'd make a decent guy to have around here. She was doing that thing that most women did, he'd hated since he was a teenager. But, Truly knew he was with Danni. Now that he had Danni he didn't have to care about what any other woman did or said. Didn't have to let it bother him. He could just take advantage of having another hunter around. As he swung the door back, he heard Truly her behind him.

"Hey Dixon wait up."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"He said he was going to the barn for some more fence rail."

"Thanks Glenn." Danni moved closer, too excited to hold it in."I think he kicked. The baby, for the first time. I want to tell Daryl now."

Glenn smiled, "He should still be there. He'll be psyched."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooo

The bottom dropped out of her world when she entered the barn. What Danni saw was Truly pushing on Daryl's body, his back to the barn wall. She had her right knee raised up against his hip. Her mouth was on his and her hands were roaming his chest. What she couldn't see through her pain distorted vision was Daryl pushing Truly back doing his best to stop the determined woman. He'd been saying get the hell off me since Truly had first caught him unaware and went at him, but Danni only heard him say it when he noticed her, figuring it was for show because she'd caught him. _Three of Swords._

Daryl felt the strange sensation of another woman's body pressed against him, her breasts higher on his chest, hips slightly wider and not fitting in the curve of his own so perfectly as Danni's. Her hands didn't know where to go the way Danni's always did. It was disconcerting. She'd begun kissing him fast and gave him her tongue the moment she put her mouth on his. All Daryl could compare it to was driving someone elses truck. The parts were all there so muscle memory and reflex took over, but it wasn't his vehicle. Still, his body responded whether he wanted it to or not. He was getting hard and she knew it. He pushed his mind back to his analogy. The shift was between the seats right now and it was supposed to be up on the steering column. This was a stick and he drove an automatic. The brake was too far back, but he slammed on it any way. Now, Daryl was a man who was attached to his own truck. Never drove anybody else's. He pushed Truly off, ashamed of his reaction.

Suddenly he was able to see behind Truly and caught Danni's eyes. They weren't angry or pained, they looked dead. He'd rather see them furious. He knew exactly how much she'd seen.

She wanted to shield the baby, but she knew he picked up on her every emotion. She stared for another second and when she met his eyes turned, hearing Daryl calling her name. _Three of Swords._

She rushed around the corner running straight into Rick, furiously blinking, her eyes blinded with tears.

"Is Daryl in there I've been waiting for him to come back with the extra... ." He noticed her shocked expression. "Hey, everything okay?" He asked.

"Why did you let her stay?" She asked her voice dark and accusing. "Why?"

"What are you talking about?"

"She isn't one of us Rick." She pushed him, then hit his chest with her fists not knowing what else to do with the pain, frustration and anger playing off of each other in her stomach.

Danni turned and stalked away._ Three of Swords._

Rick was going to follow her when he saw Daryl. "Daryl, Danni just passed me, something's..."

Rick was silenced when he saw Truly exiting the barn behind Daryl adjusting her shirt a small smile playing on her lips.

"Yeah, I know." Daryl muttered not looking at Rick, heading after her.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo

Only Truly seemed unfazed by the shouting, audible all the way from the camp up the hill, that went on into the night. At times Danni was actually shrieking. Glenn and Maggie went inside the house unable to take it any more. The others visibly uncomfortable, pretended to focus on anything else. Except Truly. She sat at the common table, calmly stringing the tension rod on her crossbow. Humming to herself all the while.

"Son of a bitch! I believed you! How long have you been lying to me?"

"Danni," he grabbed her wrists squeezing tightly. the way he did when she scared him like this, when he thought he was losing her. "You don't know what you saw, it wasn't..."

"Don't tell me what I saw! I am an old pro at this shit. I know when I'm being cheated on Daryl! it's happened so many times that I am an expert so don't. I know because I've been here before." She pulled her wrists back.

"You don't know jack. She's the one who..."

"Stop. Just stop it!. I've heard that one before too." Her voice was sarcastic. "It's not your fault. She's just too much, the evil seductress. You couldn't get her off of you. You are twice her size; its your dick that didn't want to fight her off you let it control you just like every other goddamned man I ever met in my life!"

"Calm the fuck down and lemme say something!" He hadn't seen her temper in months. He almost forgot how mad she could get. She was circling him, walking backward, not letting him behind her. He knew she was feeling extra vulnerable.

"She's waiting for you. You two should go out hunting or whatever bullshit excuse you use to get her out in the woods alone with you. Go! Get away from me!"

He couldn't keep up. When she went off like this he shut down, unable to think of what to say.

"I don't want you here. I don't need you. We don't need you!" She kept on.

"Stop telling me what to do! You know you are the bossiest damn bitch I ever come across. Tellin' me how to live my life. Never shutting your damn trap for second, fucking naggin at me all damn day every day!" He finally exploded.

"Yeah, then go! It's what you're best at!"

When she crushed Daryl with those words, he did leave. He was eight years old, ten years old, twelve years old hearing the words _get out, go, I don't need you, leave._ Y_ou worthless son of a bitch. _He had no idea what to say to make her listen to him. He left because he knew how to do that. He was good at it.

She doubled over fell to her knees and sobbed from her soul. Wishing all the while she could protect the baby from her emotions.

After Daryl left, Danni packed her duffel and carried it down to the main camp. Fionn kitty trotted behind her. Dale offered her a space in the RV with Carol and Sophia.

Sophia was happy to have a slumber party every night with Danni, but she knew something was wrong because Daryl wasn't around.

"Daryl doesn't like that new lady very much." Sophia said as she played with Danni's hair, brushing and braiding it.

"Why do you say that?" Danni asked without any real enthusiasm.

"Because, he never looks at her when she talks to him." Sophia went on, "When **we** talk to him, he looks at us." It was that simple, from the mouth of an eight year old.

"Sophia I don't really feel like talking about Daryl right now, okay?" Danni smiled weakly. "Lets read, where are those Mercy Watson books?" She asked referring to their current favorite series about amazing Mercy the wonder pig.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The night's dark silence surrounded her as she lay on the top bunk above Sophia and Carol in the lower one. Danni had packed one of Daryl's shirts and held it close. Was it possible for a body to physically ache for another body? She felt it now, a dull constant pang low in her pelvis, yearning for him. She held his plaid flannel against her face breathing in his smell. She put a pillow between her legs and started to move against it, the way she'd move against him. It came on immediately, over taking her breath and rolling a heat deep inside as she pictured him, heard his gravel voice. She tried to muffle her moans and she sighed his name into his shirt clutching the material desperately as her muscles clenched. She wanted something deep inside her, she wanted him to fill her. As it intensified she moved herself desperately against the pillow while excruciating, pleasurable heat pulsed through her, leaving her legs trembling. She lay breathing shakily. The exhilarating calm of her climax was soon replaced by emptiness again. A few tears dampened Daryl's flannel shirt.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooo

When Daryl returned to the tent the next morning, she was gone. He had hoped if he gave her space for the rest of the night she'd calm down. Then he'd let her talk him to death and clear the whole thing up. That's what they always did. But she was gone. Her books were gone her clothes were gone, her scent was gone even the damn cat was gone.

All that is left is an empty shell.

He thought about packing up. Danni's dream about Merle got Daryl thinking about leaving to look for his brother. Now that she'd ended things with him he was free to go, free to do that. Hell, Merle told him he wasn't daddy material. Neither of them were. The pain of her rejection made him long for Merle's company. It was simple, he knew who he was with Merle. He never asked himself questions the way he did with her. Danni just made him crazy; she made him think. It was too hard. He belonged with Merle. Why had he trusted her. He'd shown her things, told her stuff. Stupid mistake. _Why won't she believe me?_

Daryl broke from his thoughts and looked up from the rows of arrows he was arranging in order of age newer to older, to see Dale heading up the hill toward him. He was leaning on a long branch, he used for a hiking stick, rifle over his shoulder. _Still wearing that stupid hat._

Daryl, let the breath hiss from between his teeth. "The whole point of me coming up here is to get away from you people."

"Gonna take more than that." Dale countered.

"Carol send ya?" Daryl assumed, since she was getting so close to Danni lately.

"Carol's not the only one concerned about you. About you and Danni and ...your situation."

"None of your damn business."

"You belong with Danni."

"I don't need my head shrunk." When Dale was silent Daryl added "She don't want me, told me to go. We're broken. Better off fending for myself."

"You act like you don't care."

"Yeah, its cause I don't." He had the tone of defiant boy, not a grown man.

"You don't care about what happens to Danni, about your baby?"

"Nope." Fifteen year old Daryl stated, daring Dale to go on.

"I don't believe that, not with your new role in this group. You make a difference."

"Man, aint nobody lookin' at me for** nothin**."

"Danni is, I am. Right now. You've obviously got Rick's ear. Look since you've been with that girl you've become someone we can all depend on. I don't believe you are just going to walk away from her, from us. That's not you."

"Look old man, I** told** you I don't need my head shrunk. You don't know nothin' about me."

"I know you don't run away from responsibility. You're not the kind of man who leaves his child without a father. Daryl, you're a decent guy. Talk to her. You two can work this out."

"Didn't peg you for a desperate son of a bitch."

"Didn't peg you for your brother."

Dale's words stung._ I'm not Merle. Am I?_

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo_

Truly paid her visit to Daryl alone at his campsite as soon as she could. She walked slowly, admiring the line he'd strung between the trees to hang all his skins. She had a few she could add to it.

She'd been searching for a man like Daryl all her life. She couldn't believe her luck ending up at the Greene's, her perfect match within reach. The way he had found her in the woods was amazing. They were staring each other down, aiming their respective crossbows at each other's head. Perfectly romantic for a woman like Truly. How could he resist her. They had everything in common and he'd never find a woman more beautiful than her outside a fashion magazine. Before she passed away, Loretta Bishop entered her daughter in every local pageant and modeling contest. Truly had won them all, even making it to a state final in Atlanta. At thirteen years old, she'd earned her own Seventeen magazine cover shoot. Unfortunately, Loretta died two months later, before it happened. It broke the girl's heart that her mother never saw it. Truly never forgot how her mother valued beauty even as she became her daddy's protoge', as skilled a survivalist as her brothers. She'd stopped modeling as her father disapproved of such things, but she had the framed Seventeen cover hanging on her bedroom wall next to her shooting ribbons and torn out pages from 'Guns and Ammo'.

Danni. What the hell was Daryl doing with that...she wasn't sure how to describe Danni. A mess, that's all that came to mind. Ratty cut up t-shirts, too tight jeans, too big tattoos, too black hair and too pale skin. She was too much of a mess for a man like Daryl. And she couldn't hunt, trap, track or shoot a crossbow for shit. Useless really.

"What are you doin" here?"

He surprised her. She turned. 'I was just seeing how you're doing. It's no small matter to get dumped." She said sympathetically.

When she moved her head, Daryl smelled her hair. Its fresh woodsy odor was pleasant but it made him miss Danni's honeysuckle scent.

"What is your goddamned problem?" Daryl was angry when Truly approached and put her hand on his arm.

He shook her off. "You got the wrong idea lady."

"Daryl, come on. Why are you wasting your time with her. She's not your kind."

He was silent. _Damn right she's not.  
_

"Why don't I stay, keep you company. Make something for you to eat. Let me take care of you."

"I don't want you** here**."

"You don't mean that."

"Hell you think you are telling me what I mean. You got some nerve. Now get out of here. You done plenty already."

She made no attempt to leave. She nodded and actually smiled at him. He turned and stalked away from her._ Should introduce you to my brother. Be perfect for each other._

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooo

**_all that is left is an empty shell._**

**_of my heart that is crushed_**

**_i don't never wanna see_**

**_what my mind has seen_**

**_when you loved me_**

**_every night, every night alone with you_**

**_every night alone now_**

**_when she sits on your lap_**

**_try to pretend to laugh_**

**_when she does stupid things_**

**_just like i used to do_**

**_do not hate her_**

**_don't you even try_**

**_for to leave her is to love her_**

**_the same as you and I_**

**_I love you_**

**_and I miss you, too_**

**_i really do love you_**

**_and I really miss you too_**

**_but I don't know you_**

**_and I don't need you_**

**_and I don't want you anymore_**

**_every night, every night alone with you_**

**_every night alone now_**

**_-Cat Power_**

"Empty Shell" was the saddest song Danni knew. The band had covered it in their live shows. 'You left them crying in the aisles' Hayes used to tell her when she'd sung it. If she still had her ipod she'd have it on repeat all night. Now she had to settle for writing the lyrics out and singing it softly to herself over and over. It was so easy to fall right back into her old habits. When a guy cheated she'd retreat into herself and run. Just like this. She'd play and sing maudlin heartbreaking songs and write long journal entries about how she was born to lose at love and of course this would happen. She'd indulge in pain and revel in rejection feeling that she deserved it. She's written the band's first album this way. The empty pit in her churning stomach was worse than it used to be. Somehow, her self-pity party didn't fill it or quell it. She couldn't just write a song about this and run away on tour like she used to. She couldn't burn the bridge and hide under the ashes anymore; not just because of the baby but because she loved him. She loved him so much she'd swallow her pride and talk to him. Try to be rational; try to work it out, listen to his explanation. _When the fuck did I grow up so much? _Little Troublemaker was in her head_. Hold fast to the harder path. _But she was still too hurt and stubborn to go to him yet. She needed to wait.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooo

_**the men that fall so deep**_  
_**In love they start to weep themselves to sleep**_

_**And then he'll fight the world**_  
_**And love the girl that tried to hold her hands behind them**_  
_**They won't be left behind**_  
_**By time or any rules that try to bind them**_

**_-Jack White_**

Daryl drove the blue pickup into town, down the picturesque main street. He and Glenn were headed to the hardware store for final supplies to finish the fence. The last time he'd been here he'd been with Danni, walking down this street, sitting on the grass over there. The library.

"Quiet." Glenn observed.

"I'm thinking the geeks may have moved through this area completely."

Glenn noticed Daryl seemed distracted. He was staring over at a tree in the middle of the town square.  
"Hey, you coming or what?" Glenn asked.

"Yeah, in a minute. Go ahead I'll meet you."

When Glenn hesitated, Daryl glared at him.

"Okay, yeah." He turned to cross the street. "Take your time." Glenn muttered.

Daryl stood in front of the large oak. He looked at the initials. Carved our love into a tree.

That day she'd had asked him crazy questions he'd never answered. He'd never have the chance to answer her damn useless questions now. He wanted to.

_I'm not going anywhere._ He'd told her they could do this.

"Got all they had."

Glenn startled him; he hadn't realized how long he'd been standing staring at the tree trunk. He turned to block the heart from Glenn.

"Daryl, please don't beat me up for saying this but you are being a complete idiot."

Daryl squinted and stared down at Glenn. "What?"

"Danni."

"Mind your own business short round."

"She doesn't want you to leave."

"Said she did."

"She's hurt, that's what girls do. You're supposed to go beg her to take you back. That's just how the whole thing works."

"What?" Daryl asked again stepping back. "That's the stupidest damned thing I ever heard. I aint begging for nothing."

"If you love her, get used to it."

Daryl considered Glenn's words then said, "She won't listen to me. I tried to tell her nothing went on."

"She wants you back."

"How do you know?"

"I know Danni, she's...she's kind of like another sister to me I guess, since all this started. I've known her longer than you have."

"Not by much."

"We used to make fun of you." Glenn forgot himself for a minute. "She used to call you..."

"Got a **point** or we just chatting?" Daryl interrupted gruffly, scaring Glenn back to reality.

He quickly admitted, "She told Maggie. She's really upset but wants you back."

"She thinks I cheated on her. Told me as much."

"No she doesn't, not really." Glenn commiserated. "Daryl this isn't the time to be proud. You have a hysterical pregnant girlfriend who needs you. Sorry, that's just the truth."

Daryl glared at Glenn his eyes slits.

"You aren't going to hit me now are you?" Glenn's voice cracked.

"Nah." Daryl slapped Glenn on the shoulder. "Thanks," he said barely audibly.

"Hey short round got a quarter?"

"Why?"

Daryl saw a gumball machine inside the doorway of general store and headed inside. Glenn followed. "Why don't you just open it, I mean, no one's gonna care about the quarter now."

Daryl stared hard making Glenn uncomfortable again.

Daryl huffed, "That'd ruin the whole idea Glenn."

'Uh, okay."

Daryl surprised him sometimes. ""Here," he said actually finding a couple of quarters in his pocket.

Daryl inserted the coin into the slot and turned metal knob, releasing a small plastic capsule down the shoot at the bottom of the machine. He took it out and opened, to find at a heavy silver-colored tin ring. It's design had two black dice 5 and 2 in the middle of a rhinestone horseshoe. "Lucky Seven." He said quietly and put it back in the capsule. He tossed it into the air and caught it them n shoved it into his pocket. S_he'd like it._

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooo

Daryl hesitated to face Danni, but Glenn's words stuck with him. She toid Maggie she wanted him back.

"Damn people", he said quietly feeling like he had an audience as he walked through the main camp to the RV. Carol caught his eye and he immediately scowled at her, but felt a sense of pride when he saw her smiling at him anyway.

He made his way slowly toward the back of the RV then stood in the doorway to the rear sitting area, hesitantly. "Do you want me to go?" He asked huskily.

Danni sat at the table in the back looking out the window, not at him.

"No."

"Didn't think you ever wanted to see me again."

"We had a fight Daryl. People fight." She almost couldn't believe she'd said such a mature thing.

He inched a little closer. His voice still low and sandy. "It's not fair. What you're doing."

She still couldn't look at him. How could this have happened.

"I forgave you for the damned Shane thing. And this, whatever you think, this is nuthin'."

"I saw you."

"There was nothing to see." He was genuinely confused. He'd been pushing Truly off. The kiss had meant nothing, he didn't return it; why wasn't she seeing that. When Danni started ranting he thought understood.

"How can I compete with her? I think skinning animals is disgusting, I think hunting is the most boring thing in the world, I ...we have absolutely nothing in common, nothing to keep us together.'

"There's something."

"Not enough." She looked at him, daring him to challenge her.

"She can pitch a tent, build an outdoor shelter and a fire. You never taught me how to do that stuff."

"Didn't think you wanted to learn."

I didn't. I **don't**."

He squinted at her almost wanting to laugh, but kept his expression serious and let her go on.

"I bet she can cook, and when she plants something it doesn't die and her sweat smells like angel food cake."

Although slightly amused, Daryl felt frustrated, not sure how to handle this kind of thing.

"Think I want you to be something you're not?" He finally interrupted her. "If you could do every goddamned thing I do then why would I need you? What I don't need is another me." He wasn't sure if that came out right. He wanted her to know that he understood it was their differences that made it work, just wasn't sure how to express it.

"She's beautiful, Her body is perfect. I am so disgusting now, I almost don't blame you. I can't stand myself. "

Daryl didn't know a lot about pregnant women, but he figured they got little crazy about getting bigger and all that. Plus she'd been so sick lately. That last thing she'd said was proof to him that she wasn't thinking straight. Danni didn't give a shit about what other women looked like and she never talked about hating her own body. She was always confident in that area. She wanted to look different and she knew he liked that about her.  
"You don't mean it."

"Oh yes I do!" she was getting riled again.

"Bet she can't sing like you, tell the future or fuck like you do."

"You didn't just say that."

"I did. Damn it, Danni I like that I can do stuff for you."

"You like me for more than just sex, though, right?"

"Yeah, 'course, that's... not ...what I meant." He said flustered.

"I'm kidding."

"Always giving me a hard time." His cheeks flushed.

"Yeah, well..." She said missing how they were together.

He thought she was more beautiful than ever. He liked that she was so much smaller and delicate than Truly but also solid and stong, making her attitude that much more amazing. She was deep and dark and mysterious; more compelling and unlike anyone he'd ever known. He meant what he'd said. If she could hunt and track herself what would she need him for? Why couldn't she see that? Besides, she reminded him he was worth something. He wanted her to need him and give him shit and push him to do all the stuff he hated. He didn't know how to say all that without sounding stupid.

Daryl was no match for a woman like Truly, Danni should have seen it from the beginning. She loved him, but he was clueless about the opposite sex and some women were as predatory as men in their own way. He hadn't done anything. She was punishing him for his inexperience.

She finally admitted to herself that she was jealous. She'd wanted to think she was above it, but sometimes her insecurity got the best of her. As hard as she tried to accept herself for who she was and really love herself for being a free spirit, she was only human; perfect, super model type women like Truly occasionally got past her armor.

_ Jealousy is pointless and it punishes._

Ultimately, she trusted Daryl, it was Truly she didn't trust. Just what Daryl had said about Shane and herself. _Its him I don't trust_.

"What do I have to do?" he asked.

She remained silent so he added, "I'll marry you. If you want." He felt the ring in his pocket.

"We don't believe in that remember? It's a jinx." She suddenly stopped, realizing what he'd said. "Wait a minute,

what the hell kind of proposal was that anyway?"

"The kind that means I'll marry you." He couldn't believe he had to say it again, he'd been nervous enough the first time.

"Well it wasn't very romantic."

"Aw, Jesus..."

"Besides I don't want to marry you."

"Fine. Forget it." He moved to leave, feeling ridiculous.

"But I want that faith back, I need that faith back." She knew what they were supposed to do. "Were you serious about marrying me?"

"I said it didn't ?" He swallowed hard.

"Then we do it the right way. Our own way." _The way Nana would do it._

The end of October was coming up; it was the Celtic New Year a traditional day for handfasting.

"What?" He asked. "One of your conjure things again?"  
"I'll tell you later."

"Yeah?" _Later. _"So we're okay?"

She nodded. "I know you'd never..."

"Is that my shirt?" He asked finally noticing she had one of his flannels on over her t shirt."

"Yeah. So?"

_She'd had it with her all this time,_ he thought.

He shook his head. "Let's get out of here."

As they emerged down from the RV steps, Danni noticed everyone keeping close, but pretending not to watch. Suddenly she felt Daryl's arms around her waist and he threw her over his left shoulder.

"Hey!" She laughed as he started walking, hitching her waist up a little more, gripping her thighs tightly. The last thing Danni saw from her view back over his shoulder was Truly's eyes following them after hearing Daryl say "I'm taking you home," loud enough for the other woman to hear.


	30. I Do If You Do

_****Thank you all for being here and reading and motivting me with your reviews! Truly is getting soooo much hatred-and Danni sooo much love from you guys-LOVE it!**_

_**A warm welcome to new followers!**_

_*******Reviews are appreciated; they inspire and motivate me, so keep them coming!**_

_**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo**_

_**Take me with you when you go, girl**_

_**Take me anywhere you go**_

_**I've got nothing keeping me here**_

_**Take me with you when you go**_

_**I got a feeling my mind's in the sky**_

_**And I can't catch a breath or a break**_

_**Like a guy who is strangled and begging**_

_**For help not attention and then not to**_

_**Mention the pain that is mine**_

_**And the thought of not knowing**_

_**That what's going on in my eyes or my hands**_

_**Could be robbing without any knowledge **_

_**Or knowing that helping yourself could be**_

_**Hurting or harming someone**_

_**Take me with you when you go, girl**_

_**-Jack White**_

_Daryl walked up on to the back porch feeling late afternoon sun on his back; only cicada and crickets cut the silence as the grass waved gently in the breeze. He was about to open the screen door, when he stopped to watch them. Danni was sitting at the kitchen table, teaching their boy his letters. She wanted him to read and write. It was like an obsession, but good one. She leaned over him, pointing to and sounding out the words. They didn't have too many books, so Danni wrote out all those stories her Nan had told her, making her own book. Daryl knew the tales of Fionn and his son Oisin by heart himself from all of her reciting. As the child focused intently, she occasionally moved the dark brown hair out of his eyes. Kid's hair was almost down to his shoulders. Daryl wanted to cut it, but she'd have none of it. As he gazed at them, he felt like he'd done something right. She was a good mother. Better than good, she was born to be a mother. Daryl remembered how afraid Danni had been not having her own and that she wouldn't know what to do, but so far she'd done everything right. When she wasn't telling stories she was singing. She sang all the time._

_She figured out how to cook a few things and had a small vegetable garden on the side of the house. She even made a rain barrel to catch their water. All the stuff she'd always said she couldn't do the whole time they'd been together she slowly figured out. She did what she had to do for her family. She did it fine. Just like eating the squirrel when he'd first met her, five years ago now? He still remembered the first time he noticed her. That thing with Ed. He figured he probably fell in love with her then. She never backed down from anything. Then or now._

_Daryl felt the tug of tiny fingers on his shirt tail. He turned, looked down and patted her head._

_"What are doin' out here by yourself?"_

_"Looking for you, da."_

_Her hair was as black as her mother's; her eyes as piercing cobalt blue as her fathers, framed by long bangs._

_She always followed him around, wanted to know what he was doing. At four she was all arms and legs, lanky like a foal or baby deer._

_"How come you aint in there doing lessons?"_

_"Don't like it." She was a stubborn little thing._

_"What do you wanna do then?"_

_"Shoot arrows."_

Daryl awoke not knowing where he was for minute. "What the fuck..." He said aloud opening his eyes flooded with a surreal sense he'd been somewhere else. It was a dream like the ones she had. The house, their son. But a girl? A little girl? Danni never mentioned a girl in her dreams. He'd only had that dream because he was always hearing about hers. That's all. She's the one that saw the future. Not him.

He looked over to see Danni awake beside him, sitting up writing.

"Hey." He got her attention. "Troublemaker's a he right?"

"Yeah, all the dreams tell me that. Plus, I just know."

"Ever have any dreams that say he might be a she?"

"No."

"Ever think...there might be a girl in there too?"

"What?" She laughed."Twins? Oh god, we could name them Sid and Nancy."

"Bonnie and Clyde." He corrected her.

"Where did that come from?" The thought still amused her.

"Nothing, never mind."

She read a quote in her journal, _The woods creak and ache, and the day forgets itself. _Sylvia Plath. She knew what it meant now.

He pulled himself to a sitting position then leaned over and kissed her neck. She stopped him pushing him away gently.

"There's something I have to say. It killed me. Seeing you with her."

_This again _"I told you, she ..."

"I know, and I believe it." She spoke softly, her voice low, knowing. "Part of you liked it."

"No."

"I'm not stupid. Don't make me feel like I am. You kissed her back and you got lost for a second and let it happen. I know you did, I saw you."

He looked away and repeated himself. "No."

Daryl felt that familiar burn of failure, of letting her down. He used the ammunition he had.

"You and Shane. I forgave you."

"Different. We weren't together when that happened. It was a mistake but technically I was free to do it."

He shook his head.

"I forgive you. It's over okay? What I'm saying is you **can't ever do that to me again**. Ever. Now, that I've told you, no excuses. No next time. She's gonna be around."

"Not gonna happen."

"Good."

"I'm sorry." He had never said those words to her before. "You know I don't want anybody else."

She nodded. "I'm just telling you how it has to be for me. No one, not even you, is ever going to treat me like dirt again." She paused and added. "If anything like that happens its over. Baby or not. Doesn't matter. I can't forgive you a second time."

She made him feel ashamed but also sparked admiration for her. This was the Danni he'd sat across from in the back of the truck going to find Merle. This was the Danni who jumped on him in the alley after Glenn was taken; this was the woman who threw the severed hand in Miguel's lap and got them out of the CDC. He laid back down, taking her words to heart.

She put her book away and lay beside him. He was deep in thought so she tapped his shoulder.

"What do you want?" he asked turning to her. She roughly kissed him.

"What do you think?'" She whispered into his mouth.

He nodded and moved on top of her determined to make her see she was the only one. This would be for her. He knew where he could take her. He used to be so afraid of...of this, being with a woman. She was the one who showed him he could do it, that he was good at it. Danni brought it out of him because he didn't feel threatened by her at all. This is where he belonged.

She pulled her shirt off and lay back for him. He began to move down her body, kissing the hollow of her throat and licking his way down to her breasts, lingering, sucking first on one of her nipples and then on the other, chewing lightly, nipping them. They were overly sensitive, almost painful, but seemed to need the stimulation. Her eyes were closed and she was panting slightly, her chest began to rise and fall as he continued to suck and lick at her breasts. He gave each nipple one last kiss and then traced a line of kisses down to her stomach, roughly tugging her leggings down as he went, tonguing her navel and kissing the scarred sparrow gently.  
He licked the rest of the way to her thighs. He looked up. Her hips were shaking slightly in anticipation He tongued the outside of her sex, going all the way around, making sure he missed her clit. He'd never do this for any other woman. Never. She'd taught him how and it would only ever be for her.  
She started to squirm so he planted his hands on her thighs to stop her, then continued to lick all the way around her pussy again, tormenting her, teasing her.  
"You bastard," She gasped. "What? Do you want me to beg you to do it?"  
He thought about it for a second and then decided against it. That was for later. He gently opened her and sucked on her clit for all he was worth. She let out a low, breathy sigh.  
Danni began emitting small groans of pleasure, trying to writhe against his firm grip on her hips. She caressed her breasts and her stomach as he licked at her most tender part.

She fought unsuccessfully to thrust her hips up against his face.

"Come on, baby, please let me ...almost there." She whimpered and gripped his head with both hands to push as he pulled. Suddenly she snapped and started to shudder uncontrollably. As she did he let her go; let her buck her hips. Her grip on his head began to loosen and the movement of her pelvis slowed to a gentle rock, she was sighing contentedly, swallowing fast, her chest rising and falling with each intake of breath.

"Oh shit," she laughed shakily. She grasped his hair and pulled him to her. He slid his hand up the side of her face and cupped the back of her head, never once taking his eyes from hers. Then he pressed his lips against hers and moaned slightly into her mouth, moving his body on hers, rocking against it gently.

He began to rub against her opening, the sensation making him want her more than he'd wanted anything in his entire life. Her body fit his perfectly with intimate familiarity, their limbs knew instinctively where to go. She was his first and he never wanted another.

"I can't take it," she said, breaking the kiss and looking into his eyes, "I need you in me now, please, please fuck me."

He loved when she talked.

He brought a hand up, brushed her bangs out of her eyes and stared down at her. He kissed her lightly on the lips and then brought his hand down, to take himself and move against her ache, but not enter.

"Don't make me wait," she whispered into his ear. "Why do you always make me wait?"

He began to shake as he pushed into her opening and he trembled as the tip slipped in, he rocked back and forth slightly, and then pushed more of it into her. They were both moaning out loud, he began to inch in, wanting to sustain the arousal. Her legs suddenly wrapped around his waist, her arms around his neck, and using them as leverage she pulled him all the way inside her, to her depths.  
"Shit, that's good." He groaned softly. He laid on her, completely inside. She sighed gently into his ear resting underneath him patiently, allowing him to savour the moment.  
"God I need you," she whispered.  
"Need you too."  
"Good, then how about you show your need and start fucking me right now, this second, 'cause if I don't get fucked I might just go crazy."

"Can't have that."

"No, so you better just do it then."

He shook his head and sighed, as if the task before him was going to be one of great inconvenience.

"Things I do for you." He said.

They both smiled a little, then he pulled out of her until just the tip was embedded and thrust it all the way back in. He did as he was told; he fucked her. He began at a gentle pace but Danni couldn't take it any more.  
"Harder," she groaned. "Do it harder." It was the only way he could hit her perfect spot inside.  
Their sighs of passion grew louder as he obliged her, the slapping of their flesh accelerating. All of a sudden it hit him that he was fucking his best friend, the mother of his son, the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. How did this happen? How did Daryl get here ? The reality of what he had hit him like a freight train. She was gripping him even tighter with her legs and she pulled his face down to hers, pressing her mouth against his and moaning as she slid her tongue in and kissed him. It was feverish and intense, a kiss of need and want, and he was straining. Somehow he managed to hold on, barely.  
Her hips were one with his and she was grunting into his mouth, their tongues still tangled. He pulled his head away from hers and looked down at her, she just stared back and smiled shakily as he continued to thrust into her, pounding against her. He began to tremble as she brought a hand up to his face, touching him lovingly.

And then he lost it. Her touch was what had done it to him, watching her smile at him like that while she caressed his face.

"Aww... fuck!" he groaned, shuddering as he erupted inside her sooner than he'd meant to. He didn't stop thrusting; he wanted to get her off too, so he continued to shove in and out.

"Don't stop," she warned, pressing her lips to his ear. "Don't you dare think about stopping, okay? Don't pull out, not even to tease me. I'm so close. So close it hurts."  
A moment later she clamped her teeth down on his shoulder as she went over the edge and had her second orgasm shuddering violently beneath him. She jerked her head back and lost vision. "Oh my god, Daryl...Daryl..." she repeated his name again and again.  
He collapsed on top of her. She was still shaking beneath him, wracked with jolts and tremors, the aftermath of a powerful orgasm. She lay expelling uneven shallow breaths looking at him. He figured that he was giving her pretty much the same look. Their bodies were warm and slightly slick with sweat. Her legs disentangled themselves from around his middle and dropped to the sleeping bag, but he didn't pull out of her just yet; he didn't think he had the energy. The world could crash around him and he wouldn't care.  
Her hand continued to stroke the side of his face as she pressed her mouth against his with a slow kiss, gentle stabs of the tongue and soft whimpers.  
Finally he climbed off her and instantly missed being inside her, connected so deeply. He laid down and propped himself up on his right arm, gazing down at her. Danni wanted him, wanted his body, loved him. He knew she did and he believed her, but it still had a touch of unreality to it.

He'd almost lost her, lost this life he'd finally found. At that moment he made a commitment more to himself than to her. He'd never be unfaithful. She could kill him if he ever was.

Her post-sex look was always incredible to him. Her face and neck were slick with sweat, her long raven hair dishevelled and her sometimes brown sometimes green eyes were expressive, hiding nothing. They told a story of mysteries you could spend a lifetime getting to know and learn. They also conveyed an air of melancholy, just enough to make her seem wise and beyond her age.

She was completely comfortable laying there in full view, and she had that irresistible I-just-got-fucked-and-loved-it smile on her face. She was glowing, she was beautiful.

"I think we were pretty loud." She said covering her eyes and laughing. "I was."

"Yeah, so? We're in the middle of nowhere. No one's gonna hear anything. Be as loud as you want. That's the reason I brought us up here in the first place."

"Should have figured."

What they didn't know was that Truly had heard it all. She's been outside the tent, in the dark wanting to be near Daryl. _That should be me in there. _She was more determined than ever to get Danni out-of-the-way.

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Danni felt Christmas, birthday, and summer vacation happy. She had not had a single moment of nausea in over twenty-four hours. This morning she didn't wake up tired. She felt like herself again. Albeit she was starting to see a little bump above her waistband. She was probably the only one who noticed it yet. She touched it gently feeling deep love and connection. _You're here. You're really here._

The timing was crucial. Having to see and deal with Truly on a daily basis would be no problem now. Danni was back.

"Are we goin' down there?" He asked.

"Yeah, why wouldn't we?"

Daryl shrugged and winced a little.

"We won't hide from her."

He nodded. His expression lightened, hesitantly and he said. "I got something for you." He pulled a small plastic capsule from his pocket and handed it to her. He stepped back, looking at her side ways watching as she opened it. He almost seemed nervous, hoping for approval.

She found one of those souvenir rings from an arcade gumball machine. "Daryl, this is so cool. Lucky Seven."

She smiled up at him. "And the horseshoe. All the luck in the world."

"Superstitious girl like you, figure you could use it."

She handed it back to him. He looked confused until she held out her left hand.

"Serious?" Yesterday was hard enough.

"We didn't do this yesterday. You have to." She stared, left eyebrow raised

"I aint gettin' down on my knee."

She continued to stare until he began to kneel.

"I'm kidding. Don't." She grabbed his shoulder.

He looked down when he slipped the ring on her finger. "If I ever...I won't, but if I did...you can kill me I mean it."

"Wow, um, yes, I guess?"

He stood. "You **know** what I mean."

_interesting proposal._

"How should I kill you? Fast and efficiently or slowly and painfully."

"Slowly a 'course."

"So what are you doing tonight? Say around midnight?"

"You are feeling better, huh? You haven't stopped yapping since you opened your eyes. Why don't you go on and** tell **me what I'm doing."

"Making us official. If you still..."

"Jesus, stop asking or I **will** change my mind."

"It's the way my Nan wanted it for me." Danni told him and explained the handfasting ritual as they headed to the main camp. He'd do it any way she wanted. As long as she'd be his.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooo

The campfire crackled and spit underneath the large pan on which Carol was heating breakfast. She doled out plates as the portions were ready. She watched Danni approach, Daryl at her side, relieved not only to see them together but also to see that Danni looked well. Her complexion was pale as usual but it had lost its sallowness. She saw a healthy pink glow on her cheekbones and her eyes had a their sparkle back. She had reached her second trimester. Carol was more sure of it when she noticed Danni pour herself a small cup of coffee before sitting beside Daryl on Dale's camp chairs. She wasn't averse to coffee anymore, but she was only having a little bit which made Carol smile again. That girl was going to be a good mother. No question.

No sign of Truly yet.

Carol continued to watch them, deep in conversation. Well, Danni speaking softly, Daryl listening to her intently as if they were the only two people on earth.

Truly did finally strut through the area drawling, "Hey Daryl, got some squirrel, lets do 'em up!"

She glanced at him holding up her string of kill; he never looked from Danni's face, never left their conversation.

Truly kicked his foot.

He continued to ignore her; She kicked it harder. "I said..."

He stood quickly, pissed off that she'd kicked him again.

"I heard what you said the first time."

"Well you didn't answer me."

"Yeah, I didn't. He glared at her and sat back down. It was Danni's turn to sit and smile.

"Don't be like that. I'm just wishing for a little company while I work is all." Truly said pouting.

**"**Spit in one hand and wish in the other and see which one fills up faster." He growled.

Truly stood back, seemingly unfazed; it was all a game to her.

"Keep talking to me like that boy and you're gonna catch nine shades of hell**." **She shook her hair and smiled at everyone then sashayed her way back to her own tent behind the RV.

"Good boy." Danni teased and ruffled Daryl's hair.

"Hey," he looked around making sure no one saw her, making his cheeks redden a little.

Carol knew they'd be okay.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo

"Danni, can I talk to you?" Andrea stopped her as she was heading to talk to Maggie at the house. Daryl had left for a hunt. Alone.

Danni looked suspicious.

"I know you and I don' t have much use for each other."

"No we don't."

"You don't like me ."

"You shot Daryl."

"C'mon Danni, It was an accident. Besides we've all wanted to shoot Daryl at on time or another."

Danni considered that. "Yeah, I wanted to shoot him the other day."

The two women smiled a little indicating a tentative truce.

"Look, I've seen Truly around your camp site a few times. She was looking through your stuff and I saw her take something from Daryl's saddle bag. "

"What?" When?"

"Yesterday and before that too. A couple of times. I think you need to watch her. I haven't trusted her from day one, not that anyone around here listens to me. Just be careful."

"Thanks Andrea. You know, things got messed up with Shane and ...I know you blame me for that too..."

"I think Truly needs to go. Maybe we can work together on that." Andrea summed up not needing to say any more.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo

Maggie and Glenn sat at the heavy oak table in the Greene's dining room playing cards.

"Danni I found some ribbon you might be able to use." Maggie looked up.

Danni had asked earlier for any kind of hair or gift wrap ribbon.

Maggie held out long blue and long red hair ribbons.

"Perfect." Danni smiled. They were all she needed as she had a white one of her own.

"Danni you keep up with date right?" Glenn asked knowing she did. "Maggie and I have a bet going. Today is Halloween isn't it?"

"Yes, it's the 31st. "

"I won." Glenn gave Maggie a look that told Danni she owed him more than a couple of bucks.

"It's so weird to know that its Halloween but it's not. Everything changed." Maggie commented.

Danni looked at the two of them. "Change is good Maggie." She caught the girl's eye, thinking of the tarot reading.

"Can I use the shower?" Danni asked.

"You don't have to ask." Maggie scolded her with a laugh.

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Once again the cascading warm water of the shower cleansed Danni. She needed to be ready for tonight. There would be no one to preside so she'd need all her power. She let the scent of her honey jasmine soap bring her back to the night at the CDC when Daryl had said he loved her. She knew now it was truthful whiskey tongue.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo

"Cut it out, "

Fionn kitty was trying to take the ribbon out of her hand as she braided,

"Little nuisance." She kissed his head.

She weaved three ribbons together; white for purity (or a "clean slate"), blue for fidelity, and red for passion. The braid will wrap around their wrists binding his Right and her Left hand to symbolize how they compliment each other.

She remembered that Nan had always wanted this for her. Danni would complain how stupid it all was and she'd never get married and no man was worth it. None that she'd seen thanks to her mother. Danni never felt she'd ever need a man in her life. She could take care of herself just fine, thanks. Brigid always said she 'd find a good man someday. Danni dismissed her like the rebellious preteen she was.

Why she still had it she didn't know, but Danni pulled the folded paper from inside the back cover of her Tarot Stories book. In Brigid's handwriting was the handfasting and Celtic wedding vows. Usually a high priest or priestess would officiate but Danni knew that the moon would be their witness and they only needed each other. Samhain at midnight the Celtic New Year would be the right time. it is a time of new beginnings, but it's also a time of endings and a time of mourning. She believed you need both to begin again. Grieve the past but move on and embrace the future.

She read over the vows and realized how much she had. She was in love with her best friend who was the father of her son. How did get Danni here?

Tonight was once in a lifetime. She wanted it to be special she wanted to feel feminine.

It was at the bottom of her duffel. She spread the dress out on her sleeping bag. She wondered if the The 1940's rayon garment would still fit. The floral design was red and light pink on a black background. Delicate lace around the flattering square neckline. and bottom of the short sleeves gave it that much more antique charm, as did the tiny rhinestone buttons, It was a slinky garment that hugged her shape and hit at her knees. She'd gotten it at Via's her favorite vintage store in Minneapolis when she'd been 18 or 19. It had called to her from the rack that snowy afternoon. The temperature was Ten below and she'd missed her bus. The next one wasn't for another hour, so she'd gone into Via's just for the warmth. The dress caught he eye and although she only occasionally wore such things this one felt different so she tried it on. The fit was perfect and the color enhanced her porcelain skin. When she boarded the city bus an hour later, the dress was folded in tissue paper inside a pink plastic shopping bag hanging of off her wrist. It became her lucky dress. She'd worn it when she met Hayes and Luke and they'd clicked immediately writing three songs during their first jam session. She'd worn it the night the band was offered their recording deal with their indie label. She wore it on the Greyhound bus from Minneapolis to Austin knowing it would give her a new start.

She slipped it on. It fit fine, a little tight at the middle but not that anyone would really notice. Her breasts looked better now that they filled out the top a bit more than they used to. She let her hair down. It had grown well past the middle of her back. For the first time in months she wished he had a mirror.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

"What?" She saw him looking at her quizzically squinting."Never saw a dress before?" She asked.

"Not on you."

"Well now you have."

She stood in the dress her bare legs visible above her boots, hair falling over her shoulders down her back, gleaming back and blue in the moon's silver aura.

He stepped back and nodded at her, his expression softened. "Look nice." He said quietly, not quite smiling. "So we gonna do this?"

"Yeah." She pulled on her beat up black leather motorcycle jacket against the night's chill.

She picked up the cat and let him find his place around her shoulders. Danni carried some papers and the braided ribbon she'd told Daryl about, while he shouldered his crossbow.

He liked her look. The sort of pretty dress and then the heavy boots and jacket. She had a way of doing that sweet and tough thing, it was like her personality.  
"Can't carry your knife in that get up."

She turned and flashed him her thigh where she had the knife holstered like a garter.

_Should have known._

They walked side by side through the trees in the cool night air. The moon gave ample light as did the sequined stars against the sky's black velvet backdrop. Danni smelled campfires burning and freshly fallen leaves.

When they reached a small clearing in the trees that had a clear view of the moon, she stopped. Fionn kitty hopped to the ground.

He took of her jacket, wanting to see her body hugged by the delicate dress. He dropped the crossbow and her jacket to the ground. They stood and faced each other. Danni took his right hand in her left. Daryl watched her wrap the braided ribbon around their wrists three times. He just followed her lead.

"Beginnings, fidelity and passion bind us." She looked in his eyes then down to the paper in her right hand. She started to read, her voice strong, clear and deep with emotion. Like when she sang.

_"We will honor and respect one another,  
and seek to never break that honor._

_These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as we promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever._

_These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together we build your future. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other._

_These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy._

_These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children. These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one._

_These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch._

_The knots of this binding are not formed by this cord, but by our vows. We hold in our hands and hearts the making or breaking of this union. "_

_T_hey remained silent for a few minutes, then she gently unwrapped the ribbon. Neither could speak. She looked at him seriously. She'd never planned or expected to ever be in this place to say these words. She longed for Brigid to be here. She'd be so proud. Danni felt a tear escape, then composed herself. She held both his hands and began the Celtic wedding vows.

"Daryl,

You cannot possess me for I belong to myself  
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give  
You cannot command me, for I am a free person  
But I shall serve you in those ways you require  
and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.

I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night  
and the eyes into which I smile in the morning  
I pledge to you the first bite of my meat and the first drink from my cup  
I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care  
I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine  
I shall not slander you, nor you me  
I shall honor you above all others, and when we quarrel we shall do so in private  
and tell no strangers our grievances.

This is my wedding vow to you.  
This is the marriage of equals.

The Gaelic came back to her. "You are my Anam Cara." S_oul mate _

She handed him the paper and he read the vows back to her in the sandy soft, affectionate voice he only used with her. He didn't look up until he'd finished. She kissed him but all he wanted to do was hold her. They sat in front of the nearest tree, leaning back against its solid trunk. He had his arm around her shoulders and held her tightly to him, her head on his chest. They looked at the sky, the full moon bright, stars again like little fish. He had no idea what to say. He didn't think he'd ever felt this much emotion in his life. They'd crossed another line together._ No turning back now_. Danni expected him to be quiet, but felt strangely at a loss for words herself. His right arm was holding her, so she put his left hand on her belly, over the small bump. His touch was warm and she knew the baby felt it too.

His crossbow was beside him the whole time and in the back of their minds they were waiting for Walkers that thankfully never came.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo

Danni gazed down at him, all the while continuing to rock her hips against his and moan softly. A wave of small shudders passed through her body and her breaths became ragged again while she loosened around him gently moving up and then tightened upon her easy descent. She leaned slightly forward steadying herself palms on his chest.

"I'm gonna..." he warned hardly able to get the words out  
She slid her hands from his chest to his biceps, grabbing him and rolling sideways so he was once again on top. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, and with a sigh she forced him in deep.

"Then go ahead and cum," she breathed, still in the throes of her own orgasm.  
"Sure?

"You... now"

He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her, sucking her tongue into his mouth as he thrust into her body a half-dozen more times.

"Now." She encouraged.

That finished Daryl off. He slammed into her one last time, burying himself to the hilt as she grabbed the sides of his head again and pulled his mouth away from hers to catch her breath.

After, she fell into an exhausted deep, sleep, feeling like she'd finally grown up.

When Dawn made its appearance like a rude hotel maid reminding them that checkout was in fifteen minutes, Danni felt real life looming with the coming day. Last night was a respite of sorts. She felt like Cinderella at the ball. The pumpkin coach was here to return her to reality. Daryl was already getting dressed.

"Green." He said as he pulled his cargo pants on.

"What?"

He tied his boot laces.

"I eat everything. I'm like a goat."

She understood when he added "Walk the Line." Her 'twenty questions' he'd called it.

"Perfect that's our song, cause you're never gonna look at another girl ev..."

"Beer, but Pepsi if I had to." He cut her off. "How about you?"

"Blue, used to be pizza, but now roasted squirrel, too many songs. I can't pick one."

"Try."

"I'll get back to you."

He stood and finished dressing.

"You should never be allowed to wear a shirt. Specially with sleeves like that."

He couldn't tell if she was teasing him. "I gotta go. Want to get back here as soon as I can. Getting sick of all this running around."

Rick needed Daryl and Glenn to travel to a home depot type store in the next county that Maggie had told them about. He wanted a large supply of hardware, tools and general maintenance supplies; anything to make sure that they could keep up the farm and its property well into the future.

"Watch out for Glenn."

"You pal's learning a thing or two about a thing or two. He's had my back out there a couple times." Daryl admitted.

They didn't need to discuss last night. She felt the shift and she knew he did too.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo

Danni heard something outside the tent. Daryl had left over an hour ago. She emerged to see Truly, sneaking around. She remembered what Andrea had told her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Lookin for Daryl."

"He's not here."

"Where is he?"

"I would tell you that because...?"

"Well, I have something I want to say to you anyway."

Danni stood hands on her hips, thumbs hooked into here belt, shoulders back, looking into the other woman's eyes.

Truly stared back just as hard.  
"I'm not giving up on Daryl. I don't lose. I'm patient and I know what a man like Daryl needs. So you may just want to make this easy on yourself and step aside, honey."

"Don't call me** honey**." Danni spit the words. "I don't lose either. Is fearr posta é " The Gaelic words came out of her mouth surprising her._ Nana are you here? _Danni clarified. "He's a married man. Which means, I already won. Game over. If you want to play it this way."

"Y'all aint got no church or preacher out here. So what ever little game of make-believe you think your playing at don't make a damn bit of difference to me. **Honey_."_**

"We're having a baby. How pathetic are you? You'd really tried to steal a married man from his pregnant wife? That's disgusting."

"Pregnant, huh, that explains why your ass looks like two pigs in a gunny sack."

Danni almost hit her, "You really are cunt you know that?" Danni rarely used that word but nothing else fit Truly. Nothing.

"Things are different now since this Walker business. Rules are different. It's every woman for herself. " Truly justified not caring about the insult.

"Sounds like you don't have any rules."

"Maybe I don't. They'd just get in the way of what I want. I** always** get what I want."

"Bet you do." Danni sounded disgusted, then her voice strengthened with the resolve of self-knowledge. "I've never been Daddy's little princess getting the world handed to me on a fucking' silver platter. I've lived with a lot of not getting what I want and I've fought hard for everything I do have. I'm not going anywhere. **I** don't give up either."

"Fair enough. I aint worried about you and all your smart talk. Women have to be more beautiful than smart, 'cause men see better than they think. Since you're as ugly as three miles of mud road**, **I'd step aside now. You can't hang with the big dogs, _honey_, stay your puppy ass on the porch."

Danni stepped toward her menacingly. "You can say all the shit you want about me because **honey**, he's not interested in you."

Truly just laughed. "Believe that if ya want." As if to say, I know better.

Danni finally spelled it out. "Look bitch he's mine and I'm not going anywhere. You're not getting him. This time you lose."

Danni was ready for a fight if Truly came at her, but she didn't.

"I am not afraid of you. I know you. Stay away from my family." Danni hissed.

Truly, spun on her heel and strode away, swinging those perfect hips, exaggerating the long strides of her legs that went on forever, her red hair swinging behind her, gleaming in the autumn sunshine.

Danni called after her, "And my ass is perfect! Hey, at least I have one!"

Danni was starting to think this woman was actually unbalanced.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo

The afternoon crawled. Danni sat with Sophia and Fionn kitty by the main campfire. Sophia was tossing a crumpled piece of paper for the cat and he was fetching and bringing it back to her.

"Can you keep a secret bug?"

"Of course I can. You know I can." Sophia looked excited.

"Daryl and I got married last night."

The girl's eyes were huge. "Finally. I told him to. He said didn't want to but I told him."

"When?"

"When you were lost in the woods. I told him to go find you and I said he should marry you because then he couldn't leave you ever again. He did it. Now he can't ever leave you."

"You should talk to Daryl all the time."

"Oh, I try to. He needs me to tell him what to do or else he'd never do anything right. Is it a secret because Daryl is so shy?"

"Exactly." Danni laughed

"Its Carl! I can't find him!" Lori jogged toward them panicking. "He's not anywhere. Not in the house or behind the barn."

"Calm down Lori, we'll find him." Dale comforted her. "He's probably right under our noses."

"I told him to stay away from the woods, if he's out there I'll... Rick's not back yet...I just..."

"Lori, its fine we'll go look for him, right now." Danni squeezed her hand. "Sometimes he comes up to my camp. He likes to play on Daryl's bike. I'll start there. Sophia, watch Fionn."

"And I'll check the woods nearby." Dale added.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

Dale noticed Truly ahead of him as he entered the woods. He was about to call out to her and let her know about Carl, when he saw her intently aiming her rifle at something. He remained silent, not wanting to disturb her hunting. As he moved closer he was horrified to see the gun trained on Danni's head a few yards past her through the trees.

"Hey!" I see what you're doing! " He shouted startling her as she pulled the trigger.

The complete shock and surprise of the force of the bullet, sent Danni to the ground. It felt like being hit by a hammer driving a railroad spike into her upper arm below her left shoulder The throbbing at the wound site rapidly spread over her entire arm and left side of her body. Danni wasn't sure if she'd only been winged or if the bullet was lodged in her flesh. It had ripped right through the meat of her muscle and all she could think of was that it felt like getting whipped. Like the belt hit and never left he skin but the pain didn't take her consciousness and she saw Dale running toward her. He helped her up. She was dazed and overwhelmed with the pain.

"I'm... I... I got shot." She stammered. She pressed her bandana to the wound to compress the bleeding, but it soon became saturated and the blood streamed down her arm. No matter what anyone says, you know when you've been shot.

As Dale walked Danni out of the woods, they saw Truly, shotgun at her side.  
"You best be more careful. I could have killed you."

"You did this?" Despite the pain, blood and shock, Danni lunged at Truly. Dale caught her. "You need to see Herschel, now!" He said to Danni, but glared toward Truly, wanting her to know she hadn't gotten away with attempting to kill the other woman.

"Be careful is all I'm saying." She left them.

Dale didn't want to tell Danni what he'd seen yet. She was already in shock.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooo

"What the hell happened out there." Rick confronted Truly after Dale brought Danni in to Herschel.

"That girl needs to be more careful is all. Not my fault I mistook her for something for our dinner. We know she doesn't belong out in the woods. Hell she as much as admitted to me herself. She wasn't paying attention and didn't make her presence known. Simple as that. Honest mistake." She actually smiled a little as she spoke.

"She was out looking for my son." Rick stated.

"And I was out hunting for our food. Trying to contribute to the group. Now if ya'll don't mind, I got some squirrel skinning to do. She turned and flounced off in her usual way.

Dale pulled Rick aside.

"Where is Daryl?"

"Still out with Glenn. Why?"

"Because that woman shot Danni on purpose."

"Do you know what you're saying Dale?"

"Yes I do and I know what I saw. She was stalking Danni out there. She aimed for her head and the only reason Danni is alive is because I startled Truly. I made her miss. Daryl is going to be angry enough as it is. How should we handle this?"

"I'll talk to him. When he gets back. Right now I have to have a talk with Carl. "

"He's safe Rick, Lori found him." Dale reminded him.

"He can't just run off like that. Especially not after what just happened." Rick had never felt such distrust toward any member of the group before. Danni was right. Truly wasn't one of them.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooo

"I wont take any pain medication; the baby." Danni alerted Herschel.

"So, it is true. You are expecting. Well, you are a tough girl. You can do this." Herschel said gently with encouragement. The metal forceps digging into her upper arm, sent a sharp aching flash through her nerves. "You're doing just fine."

She shut her eyes tightly, grimacing as a couple of tears escaped. She wished for a shot of whisky and a piece of leather to bite down on like cowboys had in the movies.

"Lucky, it didn't go too far into your muscle. Shouldn't be any nerve damage." He said as the bullet clinked into the metal dish. She let out a harsh deep breath. Even though the bullet was out, raw pain saturated her entire upper left arm.

"You'll need to rest your arm, try not to use it too much, until it starts to feel better. " He began to clean and sterilize the wound as best he could. "When it does, you need to slowly get its strength back. It'll take about a month to completely feel better. Unfortunately, that's going to leave scarring. The scar will be there forever."

"Scars are always there forever." She said quietly.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooo

"Daryl, I need to talk to you about something and I need you stay calm." Rick approached and put his hand on Daryl's shoulder.

Daryl pulled back alarmed by Rick's words and his tone but he kept his expression neutral.

"Its Danni, There's been an accident."

It was Merle cuffed to the roof all over again.

"Accident? What kind of **accident**?"Daryl's voice broke and he heard himself ask the same question as before.

"She dead?" _The baby._

"No she's been shot but she..."

_"_Shot? What the...where is she?"

"With Herschel in the house."

Daryl took off running leaving Rick to worry about what would happen when he found out Truly took the shot and, if Dale was to be believed, it had been on purpose.

The door to the bedroom, flew open and forcefully banged against the wall. Herschel was still bandaging Danni. He didn't turn around, just said "Daryl must be back."

Daryl walked around the bed. Herschel left them to talk.  
He couldn't say anything, overcome with relief at seeing her sitting up.

"Crazy bitch shot me. Ruined my tattoo." She said, getting angry, "Its gonna be all scarred. And you know what? This fucking **hurts** Daryl."

He never loved her more than at that moment.

" Bitch? You mean..."

"Truly."


	31. Lick the Salt From My Wounds

****NOTE: Part of this chapter deals with the abuse Danni and Daryl suffered when they were kids. It's NOT happy stuff but I'm putting it in as another example of how far they've come and how healing their relationship is. ****It's not extremely graphic; just a heads up **in case it's triggering.

****On a lighter note here is my ever present Thank You! I am really loving and appreciating the reviews and convos with so many of you :)**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo**

**_Girl, you've got those hands, that heal_**

**_Help me get in touch with what I feel_**

**_Cause you understand and you sympathize_**

**_And you know me best, it's no surprise_**

**_When you're with me there's a light_**

**_And I can see my way_**

**_When you speak to me it's a song_**

**_And I know what to say_**

**_Girl, you've got those eyes, that see_**

**_Help me find the good that's inside me_**

**_Cause you're the only one who really knows_**

**_How the feeling comes and why it goes_**

**_When you listen there's a hope_**

**_And I know I'm being heard_**

**_When you smile at me_**

**_And I know that we don't have to speak a word_**

**_When you're with me there's a light_**

**_And I can see my way_**

**_When you speak to me it's a song_**

**_And I know what to say_**

**_-'Hands'-Raconteurs_**

"You **better** be waiting out here to tell me that bitch is gone!" Daryl shouted, stalking toward Rick, swinging his arms in a gesture of defiant exasperation.

Rick was standing beside the porch waiting for Daryl to emerge from the house, expecting this reaction. Rick was caught between a rock and a hard place as the cliché goes. He felt for Daryl and understood his point of view, but if he didn't work this out with Herschel the group's place at the farm would be threatened. He was also concerned that this might damage his own growing relationship with Daryl.

"Hold on Daryl. I'm going talk to Herschel now."

"Talk to Herschel? Hell you got to talk **about**?"

"He doesn't believe Truly took the shot on purpose."

"Think I care what he **believes**? Damn people...why am I the only one around here who gets anything done. Go on and have a nice **chat **with Herschel. I'm getting rid of that bitch!"

"Daryl, I'm handling it!" Rick grabbed his shoulder. Daryl pivoted and turned under his grip, pushing Rick almost to the ground. "Get off me! You can't stop me!"

"I won't let you do this! I know you're upset, but its a delicate situation. I need time!"

**"Time**? Didn't take you for being such a dumb son a bitch gettin' played like this. She don't make mistakes, she's too good a shot. Wasn't no **accident**!"

Rick twisted Daryl's arm behind him, stopping him from continuing to fight. Daryl broke from his grip and pushed Rick back against the porch railing.

"What if it were Lori and Carl, huh, how much** time** you need then?"

"Okay, I get it!"

"You** get** it? Bullshit! Cause it don't seem like the bitch'd still be here if had been your family." Daryl stepped back adding, "Your blood." He glared at Rick, tense with frustration. "Hell, I already lost enough cause of you damned people." _Merle "_Aint losing anything else!"

"Let my do this my way. If I can't make Herschel see..."

"I don't care about Herschel! Hell I don't care 'bout any of y'all! That bitch is leaving now." He turned to stalk off just as Truly rounded the corner of the porch.

"Saving me a trip?" Daryl charged her. "I know what you done, bitch!"

"Dale!" Rick called seeing him out of the corner of his eye. The two men were able to hold Daryl back, but barely.

"It was an accident I didn't mean..." Truly defended herself with a pout and little girl voice.

"You're too good a shot for that...you can't tell me you..."

"Thanks, I am." She stood hands on her hips, tossing her hair back.

"I should kill you!"

"You won't do that." She smiled at him.

"Right, that'd be too easy on you. I'm gonna blindfold you, hog tie ya and dump you with nothin' so far out in those woods even I couldn't track my way back!"

"Herschel won't let that happen." She came closer to Daryl. "Nothing I like more than a man riled up like this. Madder than a puffed toad cause of little 'ol me? It's a real turn on if ya ask me. A real turn on; aw Daryl, what you want with that girl anyway? She looks like she was rode rough and put away wet."

She was so smug that Daryl nearly extracted himself From Rick and Dale as he growled "Goddamned bitch!"

"Out of line Truly!" Dale shouted.

"Daryl, You need to listen to me." Rick hissed as he and Dale wrestled Daryl to the ground. "She'll go; give me a day. If she's not gone in a day, its yours."

Daryl heard Merle's voice in his head_. What have I done told you little brother, never get into a wrestlin' match with a pig. You're both gonna get muddy, and chances are, the pig likes it. _

Daryl stood, brushing himself off, fury still flashing in his eyes.

"**Fine**. You got **one** day." Daryl agreed still angry. He turned toward Truly as he spoke "But keep that bitch locked up or something! If she comes near me and Danni, I might just become a real bad shot myself."

Daryl headed toward his own camp and not Truly's. Carol had insisted on walking Danni back after Herschel finished treating her wound. Carol really cared about her; he never forgot back in the first week in the old camp when she'd stood up for Danni while the other women tore her down.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo

"Daryl's worried about you." Carol sat across from Danni next to the campfire.

"He doesn't have to." She said checking the cartridge in the gun Shane had given her. "I may not hunt, but I know how to shoot." Her voice became defiant. "No one, not Truly or anybody else is ever getting the jump on me again." Danni's voice grew resentful. "Part of me wants to go after her now. Carol, she tried to kill me! Kill me... and I'm just sitting here."

"What's stopping you?" Carol was relieved, but she had to admit, surprised Danni hadn't confronted Truly.

"Did you ever read 'To Kill a Mockingbird'?"

"Sure, in high school I saw the movie too. A long time ago."

Danni nodded. "There was this thing Atticus said to Scout, when she was getting into fights school. Something like,

_You just hold your head high and keep those fists down. No matter what anybody says to you, don't you let 'em get your goat. Try fightin' with your head for a change._

Every time I want to go after her I think of it. I don't want to back off; she deserves a beat down, and believe me I've given some before but, I think... it's the baby. He's stopping me from doing stuff like that now."

"Danni, that is not backing down. By protecting yourself, you're protecting your baby. It's not worth the risk to ever going near that crazy woman again. Promise me you won't."

Danni rolled her eyes "Okay **mom,** I promise."

"Daryl will handle it. He's talking to Rick now."  
"Even that. Let Daryl handle it, let the man do it all. I'm not used to it. I always fought my own battles."

"This battle concerns both of you and I'm sure you handle plenty for him. When you're married you do things for each other. It's not weak, Danni its strong. One of the strongest things you can do is let someone help you."

"Never thought about it like that." She paused. "I won't go looking for Truly, but I'm ready if she comes after me again."

When she turned to retrieve another round for the gun, Carol noticed the diagonal reddish-brown, and white scar tissue on Danni's upper back because of the low tank top she had on and she'd pinned up her long hair. She'd never seen them before.

Danni heard Carol's sharp intake of breath realizing what she'd glimpsed.

"Its okay Carol."

She had suspected Carol's history with Ed from day one. She desperately wanted Carol to know she understood; she didn't want her to feel alone.

"You know I was born left-handed." Danni mentioned, gently touching the bandage over her aching bicep. "Stepfather #1 broke this arm when I was three. While it was in the cast, I used my right hand for everything; I was so young it just stuck. I always wonder what that says about me in terms of having righty and lefty traits. I'm all screwed up I guess."

Carol didn't laugh. Danni continued. "He was the one who did the hitting, breaking and yelling. He'd punch us in the stomach and chest so the bruises wouldn't show. Carol, I know what its like."

The other woman looked down, running her fingers along the hem of her shirt. "I thought you might. Daryl too?"

Danni nodded. "But I don't know the details."

Carol would keep his secret.

"That's why he flinches so easily. I could always tell." Carol's voice was sad, far away.

"You protected Sophia from Ed, but no one protected you. I know what that's like."

"She's my daughter. I'd die for her." Carol explained.

"She's so lucky to have you. I mean it." Danni held her head back to prevent tears from escaping; she'd never known what that kind of mother's love and protection felt like.

Carol was silent knowing Danni needed to continue. "Stepfather # 2 is responsible for this." She added and turned pulling her shirt up giving Carol full view of what she'd only glimpsed earlier. The long scarred slashes covered her upper back. "I know you saw them."

"How did...you must have..."

"He used to make me lay naked, face down on the bed and he'd get real turned on, you know, he'd touch me everywhere, god my skin would crawl, but instead of actually raping me he'd beat me with his belt to stop himself. He said it was my fault that **I** was making him do it. Called me a slut and a whore and I didn't even know what those words meant at first. I was almost thankful for the whipping, at least it wasn't... what it could have been. Years of that shit." Danni's voice dripped venom. "He **never **touched my sister though, as long as I let him do it to me. I kept her safe Carol. I did." Her tone shifted from disgust to 'please believe me'.

Danni often wore two shirts to school because if the wounds on her back were fresh they'd bleed a little and ooze through the material the next day. She was terrified of anyone finding out. The cuts burned and stung when they dried and stuck to her clothing and she could never lean back at her desk.

"He had this big silver and red Budweiser belt buckle. I'll never forget it. That's why I could never stand that beer. Couldn't pay me to drink it to this day."

"Where was your mother?" Carol sounded shocked.

"In her own world. Remember I told you she was beautiful? She was beautiful, but the only thing that sustained her was male attention. She'd sacrifice anything to get it. Even her daughters."

Carol was horrified. "Couldn't you tell her? She was your** mother,** she'd have to..."

"The one time I did say something, about the last boyfriend who tried to molest my sister and me, I was thirteen." Danni could hardly say the words. "She told me that if I ever tried to steal her man again she'd kick me out of the house.** That's** what my mom was like Carol. My sister and I locked ourselves in our bedroom every night. I even pulled a bookcase over our door. He'd be drunk and raging banging on it, threatening to break it down for hours sometimes, until he passed out. "I used to tell Tara stories and sing to her to block the bastard out of our heads."

"Have you told Daryl any of this?"

"No. I can't. He's seen my back. He knows something happened. But I can't tell him ...everything I just told you. He'd..."

What?"

"He'd be disgusted and I never want him to look at me like that."

"Daryl loves you, he's a good man. He'd understand."

"I spent so long running from the shame and revulsion. I felt worthless; I hated myself. It made me do stupid things. I picked the wrong guys, I drank too much, took pills when I could get them, I didn't eat enough or I ate too much and stayed messed up all the time. I blocked it out and tried not to feel anything." Danni shook her head but her voice became lighter. "When I started writing songs and playing in bands things changed. Sometimes girls, women would come up to me after a show and say one of my songs **helped** them, changed their life because I'd made it through and I understood them. I'd never felt anything like it; they validated my pain and I validated theirs. After our album came out I got letters. One was from a girl, thirteen years old, who said I saved her life. She didn't kill herself because of **my** songs. It was hard to believe, but, Carol, that's when I knew I didn't want it to control me anymore so I tried every day to believe I was better than what those bastards said I was. It** wasn't** my fault. I started to pull myself together with music. It filled a hole, you know? Then, I met this guy. The only decent one I've ever known besides Daryl. He was into all this Buddhist stuff and he really turned me around. He said it was trauma. Trauma was controlling my life. He was so self-aware and he showed me how to think that way. He gave me back my confidence, taught me about sex, made me like it. He showed me it's about love, trust and fun, not fear, pain, control or punishment. He respected me so I learned to respect myself more. That's why I got the flowers tattooed on my back around the scars. Stephen told me they were a sign that no one could break me. I could make them beautiful, not ugly.** I** was beautiful. I won."

"He sounds like a good guy.' Carol said softly.

"He was." Danni pulled her knees up and hugged them tightly against her chest. Her voice had quiet dignity as she went on.

"It was one step forward, two steps back and tripping and falling in between, but I feel like I'm getting there. It's still hard sometimes; I'm nowhere near perfect but I'm okay. I refuse to let my past control me and Daryl's another huge reason. But he can't know, he'd feel differently."

Daryl did know. He was approaching the tent when he'd heard them talking. He stopped before they'd seen him and listened to every heartbreaking word Danni had uttered. He was angry, thinking about what she'd gone through. Her story unleashed a torrent of memories of his own past. He couldn't see her yet. He headed off into the trees and walked for a while battling his demons. He hated remembering shit.

The first time Daryl actually recalled the violence he must have been, six or maybe seven? Merle was never home anymore; he'd started staying out for days at a time. It was a Saturday morning, his mom was alive then. She was cooking, his Dad, still drunk from the night before, blocked the doorway. Daryl tried to squeeze past him, probably to go and watch cartoons or something. He felt his father's rage as he shoved him across the kitchen into the refrigerator door, the metal handle gouging his back. He lost his balance and fell to the floor. When he'd started to cry, his mother looked up but with no real sense of urgency and asked "Why did you do that?"

"He has to learn he can't bully his way around here!" His father bellowed.

Daryl had no idea what his father was talking about. It was frightening to be punished when you didn't know what you'd done wrong. It got worse as he got older. The first time his father used his belt wasn't long after the kitchen incident. He'd slammed Daryl down on the bed with such force he actually bounced off and landed the floor. His father slung him back up and whipped with frenzied rage.

Then there were the things that his daddy called 'just playing'. Pinching until Daryl had purple bruises, bending his fingers backward, jerking on his arms, twisting his ankles. If he managed to make Daryl cry which was less and less as time went on his father would use the excuse that he was trying to toughen him up. Telling him he a was_ a no good little shit who'd never be a real man. Ashamed to call such a cry baby his son. _Soon he had succeeded in toughening up Daryl's heart. He never cried in front of the old man again no matter how hard he backhanded him across the face or how many bones he tried to break.

Talking back, not talking back, looking at him funny, making too much noise, being home, not being home. Anything could lead to the next whipping. And whatever the reason it was Daryl's fault. After his mother died in the house fire, the old man and Daryl moved to a trailer. Merle was long gone by then. That meant twelve-year-old Daryl was the only outlet for the drunk son of a bitch's rage. Daryl had a small dark room with a black vinyl couch to sleep on and a metal shelf to store his things but he spent as much time as he could in the woods practicing all the hunting and tracking skills Merle had taught him. Eventually, though, night would fall and he had to go 'home.'

He was alone. He missed Merle, part of him even missed his mother.

He could still feel the raw pain of his shirt sticking to new, open wounds on his back. Waking many mornings to a fresh black eye, and a split lip, the bathroom mirror told him how ugly he was; he looked as bad as he felt. Sometimes he had to pick small shards of glass out of his scalp after the old man broke a whiskey bottle against Daryl's head. But more than anything he hated his back; it got the worst of it with long red gashes, crossing his spine and shoulder blades. All his life he hated being touched with good reason. He flinched, ready to be hit. He realized he didn't do that with Danni. Even when he first met her, his body trusted her before his mind did. He thought about what she'd told Carol and knew why she never wanted anyone behind her. He wanted to kill the son of a bitch who'd done it to her. As much as he wanted to kill Truly.

_ Fuck Rick and screw his twenty-four hours. _The memories of his father infuriated him and he needed to do something with the rage. Truly almost murdered Danni and his son.

As she rounded the corner of the RV, heading back to Sophia inside, Carol saw Daryl's determined, set stride; that, and his stormy expression told her where he was going. She walked in front of him, making him to stop.

" Hey, is she..." He asked about Danni, he hadn't seen her yet.

"She's asleep, she's okay. She was dizzy. She lost a lot blood, needs her rest."

He nodded and tried to move around Carol.

"I'm not letting you go there." Carol, held his arm,

"Mind your own business."

"Daryl, a man like you won't hit, disrespect or mistreat a woman. You'll end up no match for Truly when it comes to a fight. She'll use your code against you."

"Think I'm afraid to teach her some manners? She wants to act like a man, then I'll treat her like a man."

"Daryl..."

He knew Carol was right. He'd never lay a hand on a woman. Even one like Truly. It wasn't him. But he could drive her off the property.

"I have to handle this, leave me be!"

"Give Rick some time. Besides, Danni needs you. You should be with her."

"Bitch almost killed her. Think I'm sitting around waiting for her to try again?" His voice broke and Carol saw him furiously swipe his eyes to prevent tears.

"We're handling Truly, the group. Let us."

"What?" Daryl tried to process her words.

"We have this. You're not alone Daryl."

He realized it sounded like something Danni would say.

When he furrowed his brows and pressed his lips together. Carol knew he was considering her words.

"For now. Okay?" She said gently.

Carol was not completely surprised by his next words. "I heard her, talking to you earlier. Didn't mean to I just..." He looked in her eyes. "What do I do?"

"Just be with her." Carol said gently. C'mon, she steered him back toward his camp.

He grabbed at a stalk of long grass and started chewing on it as they walked. For some reason he found Carol easier to talk to than anyone besides Danni.

"You're making her feel a lot better about stuff. Baby things." He said.

"I'm glad. That girl needs someone to mother her once in a while. **More** than once in a while. I'll keep an eye on her."

He nodded. Carol had a feeling he wanted to talk about more than Danni.

"Daryl?"

"Sorry. About what I said a couple of weeks ago. When that Randall kid was here..." His voice had the similar, soft raspy tone as when he spoke to Danni.

"I know you are."

He looked up relieved, almost like a little boy getting approval.

"I hear you two tied the knot."

"Danni tell you that?"

"No, Sophia did. She's taking credit for the whole thing."

Daryl nodded again his smile becoming more relaxed. "That kid's gonna take over the damn world someday."

"Why don't you and Danni move down here with the rest of us. It would be safer for both of you. For everyone. Who knows what that woman is capable of."

He looked uncomfortable again.

"its time, Daryl. You've more than earned your place."

She put her hand gently on his arm. He looked down at her sideways, as if asking her why she would think of doing it. Why she'd be so kind to him? He didn't pull away for a few seconds.

When he did, Carol said, "Your wife is waiting for you, go on," With a warmth and affection he wasn't used to from anyone other than Danni.

Dusk was upon them, earlier now as Autumn was in full swing. Carol pulled her sweater, tightly around her herself against the evening chill and watched Daryl walk away, head down, shoulders forward. She gazed at the wings on the back of his leather vest, feeling deep sadness._ What happened to him? _

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

The candlelight cast shadows and flickered wildly, jumping as if invisible spirits were daring the flames higher. The house was finally quiet after a day of feeding and changing and soothing the infants. She was exhausted and hoped they'd sleep for at least an hour. Sitting in bed, backs against the headboard they finally had time for each other.

Daryl held an old hardcover copy of W.B. Yeats collected poems. The page was open to the one Brigid told Danni her grandfather proposed with. When Danni had first shown it to him, Daryl became serious and said, "I get it."

He hated reading out loud, but every once in a while he would, only this poem, only to her. His voice was at once soft and sandpaper rough, tender and tough, hinting at the intense emotion always just below his surface.

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,  
Enwrought with golden and silver light,  
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths  
Of night and light and the half-light,  
I would spread the cloths under your feet:  
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;  
I have spread my dreams under your feet;  
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

She moved up to kiss him. Then she lay her head on his shoulder, face against his neck. "You've given me everything I ever wanted. Everything."

She knew she had his heart and his soul because he trusted her to keep them safe. He tilted her chin up so she'd continue kissing him. He pushed the book aside and moved on top of her, pulling her evenly beneath him. As she started to get lost in his touch the first cries came from the room next to theirs. She sighed, "I got this," but he got up and followed her anyway. Like he always did.

_Brigid sent him to me._

Daryl heard her mumble something like "I got this."

She was sleeping on her right side, so she wouldn't accidentally lean on her injured arm, face turned to him.

He watched her breath, wondering if she was with him in one of her dreams.

When her eyes opened she looked lost for a minute, then focused on him. She sat up quickly.

"Why did you ask me about twins the other day?"

He shrugged. "No reason."

"My dream, just now, I think it was saying get ready for Bonnie and Clyde."

He finally admitted, "All right, I had one of you damn dreams. You, the house, our boy, but there was girl too."

Danni remembered that some of her aunts and cousins had given birth to twins. It hadn't seemed to matter before. She began to feel panicky at the thought of more responsibility.

Then the poem came back to her. She heard him saying the words _I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. _

"What if it is twins?"

"Shit, guess we're gonna have to trade the bike in for a minivan or somethin'."

She hugged him and wouldn't let go.

"What's going on?" he asked. "Aw, don't start crying. Jesus." He said softly and slightly gruffly as he felt her hot tears on his shoulder. He put his arms around her.

"I'm the one ought to be crying. Merle'l kill me. He loves that bike. " Then he whispered, "We got this."

She held on tighter.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo

The following morning, Carol had her first chance to speak with Rick. "What are you doing about that woman who tried to kill Danni?"

"According to Dale."

"Dale wouldn't lie about something like that."

"I know Carol." Rick was serious. "But Herschel...he won't believe it. Says he's known Truly since she was a baby and refuses to consider her leaving. This whole thing affects our place here at the farm. Whether we stay or not. Do you see what a fix I'm in here?"

"You have to convince him."

"I know Carol, but he's..."

"I wish I'd never voted her in the first place."

"Its Herschel's farm."

"You know its wrong and dangerous to have her here. She's not one of us."

Rick nodded. "I agree with you Carol. It's a delicate situation and I need to handle it right."

"She has to go."

"She will."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Carol found herself at Truly's tent before she knew it, without thinking twice. She approached the woman who was sitting on the ground, sharpening knives.

Carol noticed she always looked like she was posing

"You're on the way out. Rick is talking to Herschel now." Carol said seriously.

"Rick...what's he gonna do? He couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. Herschel don't believe I shot that girl on purpose." She looked up scowling.

"The rest of us know you did."

Truly tossed her head and laughed. "Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles, lady."

Carol's voice got serious. "I could have been dead myself several times over."

"Too bad you're still here then aint it?"

Carol ignored her and continued.

"The reason I'm alive is because people underestimate me. Don't underestimate me. I'm finished playing nice. That girl has been through enough in her life. Daryl too. If you screw this up for them, mess with Danni again, I will slit your throat while you sleep."

Truly almost looked nervous. It was only when Carol turned that she let out a small guffaw.

"I have my eye on you." Carol said as she left.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

"C'mon." Daryl said when he saw her emerging from the tent.

"Where?"

"We're getting out of here. If Rick wants to handle the situation, fine but I aint waiting around here all day for her to try something else. Bitch best be gone when we get back."

"Where are we going?"

"Away from these damn people."

Danni didn't press, just zipped her hoodie, grabbed her bag and got on the bike behind him. She hugged his hips as best she could, her left arm sore and weaker than the right. She had to lean heavier on him, to stay balanced. They sped loudly down the dirt road away from the farm. Away from Truly.

She soon recognized the deserted Main Street, its old buildings and their vintage signs, gazebo, library and the tree.

He parked beside the grassy town square like last time.

He nodded over to the library. "Know you wanted to spend more time in there. Looking for books."

She grabbed his hand, and smiled at his thoughtfulness. "C'mon." She said as he let her pull him along behind her.

Daryl was on the Walker alert as always, but this town seemed to be clear of them; they'd moved through.

The quiet of a library soothes more than any other type of silence. Danni felt its muffled, musty quality as thick and comforting as a favorite blanket. Daryl liked the musky book smell and he watched particles of dust floating in the mottled beams of sunlight filtering through the windows as he meandered slowly behind her through the stacks.

She'd accumulated a small pile. Some kids books for Sophia, Cunningam's _Incences Oils and Brews_ that she'd dropped last time, when she was a bit busy with something else. She slipped _The Catcher in the Rye_ into her bag to surprise him. And the Yeats.

"You go to college or something?" He asked.

"No. Never made it that far."

"How come you know so much about books?"

"I worked in a second-hand bookstore when I was fourteen. I kept that job off and on till I moved to Austin. Found books on my own. Whenever things were too much I could always escape into them. I read all the time."

Daryl used to sit out in the woods reading _The Catcher in the Rye_ forgetting about the pain, broken bottles, loneliness. His teacher had let him keep the copy he'd been assigned for class as if she knew he'd never have access otherwise. He could hardly believe the world of Holden Caulfield existed. Fancy school, cities...But even in that world Holden felt as alienated and out-of-place as Daryl felt in his own. Struggling with what he thought was right not fitting with what he saw all around him. He' d escape with that book. Until the old man caught him one day and burned it in the back yard with the rest of the things that meant anything to Daryl. He hadn't read much at all after that.

When they, again, sat on the grass in front of the tree that bore their mark, Danni said, "We're married."

He was preoccupied with stabbing his knife into the soft earth and wiping it off with his rag, so she went on.

"With all the Truly bullshit, it didn't really have time to sink in."

"So here's where you tell me you want out." Still stabbing, still wiping the blade.

"Yeah and that I made the biggest mistake of my life." She hit his arm. "There's something we need to do."

She rummaged in her bag for her tarot cards.

He no longer questioned her. He believed in her. Still, he wore his amused, tolerant expression and pretended he was skeptical.

"This again?" He asked wiping down the blade a final time and putting it back on his belt. He took the deck when she handed it to him.

The last time she'd done a pair reading for them was at the CDC. It had told her about the baby. It was time for another.

He shuffled and gave her the deck. She did the same and put it face down. He picked the top card she the one beneath. He turned his over to reveal the World. She flipped the Moon reversed.

He could see by her face that she was relieved; she looked pleased.

"Good?" he asked.

She nodded and began the interpretation. "Both major Arcana." Danni pulled out her reference book. She knew the indications but wanted to be as specific as possible since the cards were so powerful. She opened and read aloud. Hers first.

_The Moon reversed indicates that you have recently experienced a time of self-deception, illusion, fears and anxiety but these negative energies are beginning to subside. You may have also been dealing with some deeper emotional issues that have previously been sitting beneath the surface. While this has created some discomfort and turmoil as you deal with these deeper issues, you are starting to feel as if a weight has been lifted and that you can be less fearful and anxious about your life situation. You are beginning to work through your inner fears and anxieties, understanding the impact that these have on your life and how you can eventually free yourself from these limiting beliefs. This can be a wonderfully liberating and transformational experience However, when this card is drawn trust your instincts and pay close attention to your dreams. __Unforeseen events may be lurking around the corner that will test you._

Danni understood the message clearly. T_rust your instincts and pay close attention to your dreams._

Now Daryl. the World.

T_he World signifies completion, achievement. All of your efforts are finally paying off and you have reached the end of a journey or have completed a major life cycle. You have endured hardships and challenges along the way but these have only made you stronger and much wiser and more experienced than when you started on your journey. __A long-term relationship has come full circle and you are now feeling a sense of closure. It could mean a marriage, the birth of a child. Everything has come together, and you are in the right place, doing the right thing. In this sense, the World card also heralds new beginnings that naturally emerge out this completion. You have a strong desire to contribute or to use a special talent to help your community. You are coming from a good place now of love, knowledge and experience and you are ready to share this with others. This card is about a deeper understanding of your role and your impact within a certain environment and where you truly 'fit'. This card can also point to a strong feeling of unity and wholeness in a particular situation._

Daryl felt a slight chill when she described his card. He sometimes couldn't follow all of her conjure messages, but these cards seemed to describe exactly what was going on with them. _How the hell does she do it? __we're supposed to be here together, doing exactly what we're doing._

They remained quiet deep in thought for a while.

'How's your arm?" He finally asked.

"Sore, not as bad as Herschel said it would be." She paused and held her breath thinking about Truly. "What did you do yesterday? Just talk with Rick?"

He looked troubled. "Yeah. I didn't do nothing. Yet. Damn people. Rick, Carol...I'm giving them til tonight that's it. Then I take care of her my way."

"And what's that?"

"Dump her with nothing, so far out in the middle of nowhere even I couldn't find my way back here. "

"Maybe that's what they'll decide on."

"Just better be gone."

Danni wondered if he was aware that he was standing their ground, insisting Truly leave, not once considering that they leave.

"I heard you yesterday, talking to Carol. I didn't mean to. I was outside and..."

She froze a little. Her stomach tightening. "Wish you didn't."

He didn't know what to say.

"I don't want you to think of me like that. I don't want to be ashamed in front of you."

"Don't have to be."

"You'll look at me differently."

"Have I been?"

"No." She realized. "You haven't."

"Don't change nothing."

She believed him. His eyes hadn't changed.

He wanted to tell her it made him feel closer to her. She'd understand what he went through himself.

She wondered if he'd heard her talk about Stephen. It seemed like he'd missed that part. It was best.

"What about your Nana you always talk about? Wasn't she around?" He asked. "Seemed like she'd kick some ass for ya."

"Brigid was a Traveller. She was only with us for part of summer. The rest of the year the clan moved across the country following whatever work they could find."

"Couldn't you go with her?"

"Danni shook her head. She was my** father's** mother so my mother wouldn't let Tara and me go. That and the welfare checks. More kids, more money."

"She should have stayed with you."

"She couldn't. She was the Cailleach, wise woman, and they needed her. But, for that one month in summer when she was there, we lived with her and the rest of the clan. It was the best month of the year. It's when she taught me everything about my...my gift. That's what she called it. She told us the stories of the Celtic myths, showed us the constellations, made me read Gaelic and quizzed me on the goddesses. We could play with the other kids our age; we had so many cousins. We were safe there and I never wanted that month to end. When she died I was fourteen. We never had the month again."

He felt overwhelmed by her story unsure of what to say, his heart aching at all she'd been through.

"You kow you can tell me stuff too. If you ever want to." She said gently.

He squinted a her, then looked away quickly. He took out his knife again, and focused on wiping imaginary dirt from the blade.

She knew to let the subject go. She turned to the tree and ran her finger over their carved initials.

"I love this tree. It will be our tree forever. Do you love it?"

_Here she goes again. _

He nodded. "Danni I..."

She looked back at him.

"I love you." He'd never said those words to anyone before. He looked away, unsure of her reaction.

She looked serious. "I love you."

She slid over on to his lap and pressed against his chest. "It's about time you said it."

He shook his head, relieved, hoping she'd never change. He knew he was gonna love her for the rest of his life.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo

Danni walked behind him in the dark heading away from the group gathered on the porch. He was tensing with anger, clenching his fists, moving so fast she had trouble keeping up. She didn't try to calm him down or tell him he was over reacting. Not yet. She knew he needed to do this; get it out. The meeting about Truly's fate had not gone well in Daryl's opinion. He wanted her gone that very night. Herschel insisted tomorrow at dawn. Daryl had a bad feeling.

"She'll be gone in the morning." Danni rationalized.

They sat across from each other on the sleeping bag.

"Should be gone now."

"Rick gave you his word. She'll leave at dawn. Hershel will make sure."

"Damn people. They think she's just gonna pack up and walk off on her own? Never should have given Rick time. Should have done it my way." He started to rise angrily to his feet. She grabbed his hand and kneeled before him.

"I can make you stop thinking about it." Still kneeling, she slowly began undress for him. Her arm had started to feel better as the day wore on, and now her need for him masked any pain that lingered. She might be sorry tomorrow, but she couldn't care. It must have been how he'd felt that night after he'd been thrown from the horse. The night she'd conceived.

"It's all fine. She's leaving." She touched his cheek.

She was so beautiful to him; Daryl sat back and ached at the sight of her. He loved that Danni's entire body was the same milky-white skin tone as her face.  
Her hand caressed herself all over, first her breasts, then her palm journeyed southward to trace over her slightly round tummy. Daryl was already getting hard from the sight of her body, but watching her made him stiffen more.  
There's a big difference between looking sexy and acting sexy. Danni tucked her hair back behind her ears, smiling with anticipation and confidence. When she lowered her gaze, and leaned forward he decided that she was one hundred percent of both. She kept her eyes rigidly set on his. She removed his pants. She pushed him back and moved to the bulge in his boxers; it was so close to her face that he could feel her warm breath that it strained.  
She pressed her lips to the fabric, kissing him through the thin material. Then her tongue slipped out and began to lick him all over until every square had been treated to the sensation of her tongue.

"Aw fucking hell." he groaned.

"Feel good?" She asked, caressing his hardness and pulling his boxers off as he ran his hands through hair.

"This is only ever for you." She began to suck on him slowly, her cheeks hollowing out as the suction increased. Her lips tightened around his shaft. She loved to make him feel like this; the same way he made her feel.

"Danni," he groaned her name, as the pace increased. Her head was a blur of motion and the increasing suction of her mouth was causing him to become dizzy. Her talents came from the realms of sorcery; she had intensity and passion that he never knew was possible. The magic she conjured with her mouth forced him to wrap his hands in her silky black hair in a desperate struggle to hold on.  
He tried to remove himself from her mouth by gripping the sides of her head and pulling gently, but she countered this by slipping her arms around his waist, ignoring the aching left one, too caught up in what she was feeling. All ten fingers dug into his flesh and he slammed deeper into her mouth.

He finally managed to pull her off. "Not so fast." He sat up.

Soft lips brushed his and she kissed him, moving forward on to his lap, and as her tongue entered his mouth she manoeuvred him to her opening and eased a fraction of him inside. She unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off, kissing his chest.  
Then, without hesitation her legs scissored around his torso and she jerked his body down on to hers, leaving him nowhere else to go but deep into her. Every last inch. Upon each downward stroke she would rotate and grind against him as if she was trying to press him even further into her body, when in fact he was in as far as he could ever go.  
"Look at me." He ordered, as he often did at this moment, a shudder passing through his body as she opened her eyes. Her lips were half-opened, a perpetual pant escaping them. With his full weight pressed against her, her breasts rubbed invitingly against his chest with each rise and fall of her ragged breaths, the nipples stiff and stroking his skin provocatively.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god," she chanted softly, her hips jerking out of sync as she came and he cleansed and healed her body.

There was nothing more satisfying to Daryl than seeing what he did to her. To him it was almost more gratifying than his own orgasm. He gained confidence watching Danni climax. She never looked as sweet, strong or sexy as when she reacted to him. It was her overall attitude and the way she melted into his body; her arms clutching his neck, the slow rotation of her hips and her throaty gasps of pleasure. All because of him.

Just as he was about to press his lips to hers, she grabbed the sides of his head and forced his mouth against her tongue while coasting down from an orgasm encouraging him to fuck her faster, so he invaded her with renewed vigour.

"Hold on, I want it again." She panted, pulling her tongue from his mouth and kissing his cheek and neck. "I know you'd kill for me." She whispered hoarsely into his ear. The thought of it set her off. "Now, oh god its...now..." she couldn't finish as her second climax started. For the past few minutes he'd been teetering on the edge, managing to hold himself back from the inescapable release he so desperately wanted to refrain from.

"Look at me" she panted, echoing him.  
Just as his eyes flashed open and he stared into the emerald pools of hers, he finally throbbed and thrust to his finish, Danni healing him, cleansing his body. The satisfied look she was giving him and the way her hips continued to wriggle against his, the residual effects of her own orgasm, and what she'd said made him feel even closer to her if that was possible.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

It must have been several hours later when Danni heard rustling outside the tent. It wasn't Fionn kitty, she knew he was with Sophia. He liked to sleep on her feet.

She sat up. Daryl awoke when she moved, being a light sleeper, always ready if he had to be. He threw a shirt on. He always slept in his pants, with his knife holstered to his belt.  
"Something is out there." Danni whispered. He listened and heard footsteps. Faint footsteps. Whoever was out there was good at..._.Truly. Shit, it had to be._

She grabbed her gun and snapped it securely in her belt holster that she buckled around her waist over the boxers she slept in.

"Stay here." Daryl ordered as she stepped into her boots.

Daryl motioned again for her to stay behind in the tent. She compromised, and stood outside the entrance watching him slowly move to the area toward the back where heard the rustling and footsteps.

Danni felt a sharp pain radiate up and down her spine as Truly punched her in the small of her back, pitching her forward. The next thing she knew the woman was on her back grabbing her hair and pounding her head into the ground. She couldn't reach the gun as Truly had her knees pressed into Danni's upper arms immobilizing her. Screaming pain shout through her injured left one. When she let go of Danni's hair to reposition, Danni jerked her head back with enough force that her skull broke Truly's perfect nose. Daryl heard the shriek of pain and doubled back.

Danni twisted herself around but before she could rise to her feet Truly fell on her and put her hands around her neck squeezing as tightly as she could. Blood gushed fom her nose. When Daryl saw Truly choking Danni, and heard her strangled breaths he was on her in seconds, grabbing the red-head around her waist, ripping her off Danni and tossing her like a sack of flour. Truly hit the dirt, but sprung up and lunged at Danni waving her large bowie-knife. Daryl blocked her, getting his cheek sliced in the process. He stepped to the side, but Truly was as agile and skilled at this as he was. And she was a woman. Carol was right as infuriated as he was he hesitated one second too long before going for her knife and pushing her to the ground. That hesitation enabled her to sucker punch him under the ribs and grab his ear painfully as she fell so she could bring him down with her, flip over on top of him and put the knife to his throat; he couldn't reach his own. Danni saw her blade flash in the moonlight and then his saw his blood. If he moved to push her off he'd force the knife in deeper. Truly was about to slice, this time through his jugular.

_Is this some sort of fucking If I can't have him no one will? _Danni realized Truly's intent.

Silver flash of steel, crimson flow of blood.

"I told you to stay away from my family, bitch!" Danni said as she pulled the trigger without hesitation.

It seemed that Truly's body went limp the minute Danni heard the shot crack the night air even before the bullet entered the side of her head.

Daryl rolled out from under her and stood, blood streaming from the cut on his face and neck.

"I did what I had to do." She said calmly.

"I know." He was breathing heavily. "Good thing too, you just saved my ass." He sounded flip, but his eyes were dead serious.

"I saved **us.** No one takes what's mine anymore. It was too fucking hard to get here."


	32. You Came Back

**_I can remember_**

**_Standing, by the wall _**

**_And the guns shot above our heads_**

**_And we kissed, _**

**_as though nothing could fall_**

**_And the shame was on the other side_**

**_Oh we can beat them, for ever and ever_**

**_Then we could be Heroes, _**

**_just for one day_**

**_-David Bowie_**

Daryl took the gun from her trembling hand. The reality of what she'd done was at once triumphant and terrifying. She killed someone. She knew exactly what she was capable of after feeling powerless for so long. She waited to suffer guilt or regret. Neither feeling afflicted her.

"You okay?" He asked.

"I think so."

"Had no choice."

Danni was silent so he asked. "If you had to do it again?"

"Of course."

"You're all right." He told her.

_That simple huh? _

"I 'll be a shield for your back and you for mine." He repeated their wedding vow to acknowledge she'd saved his life. She knew he was right; it **was **just that simple.

Besides, Danni suspected she** would** have to do it again. Maybe many times over in the future.

"You're a mess." She took the rag from his back pocket and began wiping the blood from his face. He pushed her hand down and pulled her close so she draped herself around Daryl's neck and hung on him. Before her adrenaline completely dissipated, she gasped as agonizing pain abruptly rushed her. Tight cramping low in her pelvis contracted and overwhelmed. It twisted and clenched, taking her breath.

She let go of him, crying out and doubled over.

"What?" He crouched, seeing her face drained of color, hearing her breath become shallow. When she held her belly he felt panic.

"Is it?"

"I don't know, I don't know!" Danni shared his alarm. He helped her to sit on the ground. She hunched over waiting for the pain to pass; it didn't. She was shivering, so he grabbed one of his shirts and threw it over her shoulders.

"Can you walk?"

She shook her head, her eyes shut tight. It was all she could do.

G_et her to Carol,_ was Daryl's first thought.

He picked her up.

Rick met them halfway, having heard what he thought was a gunshot from their camp.

"What's wrong?" He saw Danni her face a mask of pain, clutching Daryl as he carried her.

"Bitch tried again. If anything happens to my kids you're next." Rick thought he heard kids, but definitely heard next.

"What do you mean next?"

"Told you she should have gone last night. Bitch is dead. Tried to kill both of us."

Rick saw Daryl's neck wound. "You mean..."

"I aint got time for this, something's wrong with her!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo

Danni lay curled up on the bottom bunk of the RV, Carol's voice soothing her as she clutched her hand and the cramping finally began to subside.

"Better?"

Danni could finally speak. "A little."

"What happened, what did she do?"

"She punched me in the back and pushed me. I landed **hard** Carol. What if..."she started to cry. When Carol put her arms around her, Danni didn't move away; she held on tightly and sobbed out her fear.

Daryl had taken Sophia outside to give Carol and Danni privacy.

"Don't be worried." The sleepy girl looked up at him.

He couldn't say anything.

"They are okay, you know." She said, then yawned.

"Who?"

"The babies. Nothing happened to them." She picked up Fionn kitty who was rubbing around her ankles.

Daryl's body went cold. Sophia didn't know Danni was pregnant. They didn't want to tell her until another month or two in case, _well in case of this. _She must have found out. But how did she know about twins? No one but he and Danni knew that.

"I should tell her." Sophia hopped up the steps.

"How?" He asked again. She patted his shoulder before disappearing inside.

"Danni, don't cry."

Sophia sat on the edge of the bunk in front of her mother. Danni moved out of Carol's embrace wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

"I'm just feeling a little sick tonight, that's all."

Sophia's expression became thoughtful and she delicately put her hand on Danni's stomach.

"Nothing happened to them." She looked up. "They are both okay, don't worry."

Danni's chest tightened. She'd agreed with Carol not to inform her for another few weeks.

"Did Daryl tell you about them?" Danni figured he must have let it slip being so worried tonight.

Sophia shook her head. "No." She laughed a little and said, "I knew they were there before you did, silly." She softly patted Danni's stomach.

Carol and Danni gave each other quizzical looks over the little blonde head between them.

"When? How?"

"When I was lost and Miss Annette was taking care of me, I had a dream that you were going to be a mommy. Then, when you came to get me and I saw you by the swings I knew there were two babies in you." Sophia smiled. "They'll always have each other to play with. That's good."

Carol's eyes were wide. Finally, Danni asked "Why didn't you say anything to me before?"

"I thought it was a secret because Daryl is so shy. I can keep secrets you know. I'm really good at it, see?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo

Rick found Daryl still waiting outside for Danni. He was too worried to go in. He hadn't known what to say, how to comfort her. He felt useless but at least she had Carol. She'd let him know Danni seemed much better and that she'd finally fallen asleep. She thought the painful incident was brought on by stress. He was lucky to have Carol, too, whether he fully realized it or not.

"Danni must have only wounded Truly." Rick informed him.

Daryl shook his head. "She's dead."

"Well there's no sign of her body anywhere up there. Could you be wrong?'

Daryl looked genuinely confused. "Nah, no way. She was dead. I wouldn't make a mistake 'bout that."

Rick knew he was right.

"You probably looked in the wrong place. C'mon, lemme show you." Daryl said.

When they reached the spot where Truly's body had been, Daryl was shocked.

"She was right here. How the hell?"

Daryl trained his flashlight on the ground seeing her prints heading toward the woods.

"How the hell?" He repeated himself.

"Daryl, I need to tell you something."

Daryl ignored Rick, still amazed that Truly had managed to survive Danni's shot and drag herself out of his camp. He began following her tracks, until Rick shouted.

"Daryl wait!"

He turned at the urgency in Rick's voice.

"I think...she 's a Walker."

"How? She didn't get bit or scratched by one; hell wasn't one anywhere near us. Danni shot her."

"Listen, Jenner told me something, back at the CDC."

"That crazy motherfucker said a lot of shit."

"He told me we are all infected."

"What do mean infected?"

"Whatever this is, its in all of us, this disease that causes people to become... it's already in us. That means if we..."

"Die we turn, bite or no bite." Daryl finished for Rick.

"I know I should have told everyone when I first found out, but..."

Daryl, paced for a second.  
"No you shouldn't." He became quiet, almost hoarse. "You did right keeping it to yourself. Those people can't handle knowing something like that. Not yet."

"What about you."

Daryl shrugged. "I don't plan on dying anytime soon so what's it to me?"

Rick felt relieved to have shared his burden.

"Let's keep it between us okay."

Daryl nodded.

"Not even Danni."

He felt a little uncomfortable, but nodded again.

"So the bullet must have missed her brain." Daryl surmised. "Right?"

"Could it?" Rick asked.

"Yeah if it was a low enough shot. She had a hard angle, had to hit Truly with me right under her. So, yeah."

Rick found it interesting that Daryl was more concerned about the bullet than what he'd told him about everyone carrying the condition.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo

Danni woke up in predawn darkness; no longer night but not yet day. She heard Carol and Sophia breathing contentedly asleep above her. Rick's and Daryl's low voices drifted back from the table in the middle of the RV.

"Herschel will want to talk to both of you." Rick warned. "News is out...about Truly."

"Figured."

"Daryl. I'm sorry that I didn't listen to you. I knew you were right about that woman. I feel responsible for what happened. If Danni's not okay... " He shook his head unable to continue. "Look, your say matters to me." He paused then added. "I won't do that to you again. You have my word."

Danni noticed Daryl's long silence. She knew how uncomfortable Rick's words made him. Rick must have realized as well because he changed the subject with his next breath.

"We'll start when its light. I'll make sure everyone knows the plan. So, you good with all of this?"

"I don't see you and I trading haymakers on the side of the road. Nobody'd win that fight."

Rick stood and headed to the door.

"Hey," Daryl called.

Rick turned.

"You were protecting the group. I get it. She'll be fine."

Daryl's quiet confidence surprised Rick, but he was grateful for another set of shoulders to help carry some responsibility for the group. He hadn't felt that with Shane. There had always been a sense of competition, being at odds that only increased Rick's stress. He'd never have told Shane about Jenner.

Danni emerged from the back bunk and sat across from Daryl in the seat Rick had vacated. She put her feet up on his lap.

"What's this plan?"

"You okay?"

She nodded, "Yeah, and so are they." She unconsciously put her hand on her stomach.

"Did Sophia say anything to you?"

" I figured you told her."

"I didn't. No one did. Daryl, she had a dream and said the next time she saw me she knew it was twins. Before I even told you."

"Somebody must have said something."

Danni shook her head. "That's what used to happen to me. I was almost her age when it started. The dreams, the feelings about people. I believe her."

"How?"

"You had a dream, right?"

"So what, it's catching?"

"Maybe?"

Danni trusted Sophia's words and her own gut feeling that she was fine. Once the pain stopped she'd had no spotting and Carol said that miscarriage is much less likely in the second trimester. They troublemakers were complaining, but fine.

She had wanted to ask Carol about that sort of thing happening to Sophia before, while she was growing up. But Carol wasn't aware of that part of Danni's life so she'd put it off. Would she be accepting?

"This plan?" She changed the subject, not wanting to think about Carol having a negative reaction to her abilities.

"Thanks to your shot, we got some company. Rick and I took care of them, but there's likely to be more. We're moving everyone closer to the house, inside for the time being, making the perimeter smaller. Tightening everything up."

"Is that enough?"

"Until we see how many are out there getting closer. You really all right?" He asked again. "About shooting Truly."

"Yes."

She meant it.

He didn't tell Danni that he had to kill Truly second time while she'd been with Carol. When he and Rick were discussing her fate, Truly and a few other geeks had emerged from the woods. Speak of the devil, indeed. He made sure his arrow lodged deep in her brain. It had been only fitting that he had to kill her too. Soon enough the crazy bitch will be only a distant memory.

He wanted to tell her what Rick had disclosed, but he'd given his word.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Early the next morning, Danni and Daryl sat on the couch in the Greene's living room. Her anger at being doubted, and having her actions questioned, surged but mixed with apprehension.

She slumped down and crossed her legs. "I feel like we're waiting to go in the principles office or something, I can't believe this."

Daryl seemed calmer than she did. "Let's just get it over with."

Their respective reactions surprised each other.

Danni anxiously fiddled with the stainless steel buckle on the side of her boot. She twisted a strand of hair around her index finger, she tapped her fingers on his knee.

"You want me to patch those?" She asked noticing his pants had holes in both knees.

"Don't bother, can't see you sewing too well. You'll probably make a mess of 'em."

"Probably." Her nerves distracted her so she didn't call him out.

Danni wouldn't normally be nervous about a situation like this, but more was at stake than ever before. It wasn't only about **her** future. She might have jeopardized her family's safety as well as the group's.

She knew that Herschel could relate to a woman like Truly far better than to one like herself. He understood Truly's background; she was from his world. Danni was sure with her tattoos and style of dress she alienated him somewhat. They'd had only minimal contact, the most being when Truly had shot her which didn't bode well in her mind._ Odds are stacked against me._

Would he be angry enough to make them leave? The group or just Daryl and herself?

In the kitchen a few feet away, Maggie confronted her father.

"Daddy, don't do this. You know Truly was different. She wasn't the same little girl who used to come over here and trade meat for eggs."

Herschel looked at Maggie, sadness in his eyes.

"She wasn't the little kid that listened to you read the bible to us all on the porch and drink momma's lemonade on Sunday afternoons. She changed; maybe it was this Walker thing or her momma dying leaving her with that crazy daddy of hers, but you know she wasn't right anymore. I saw it that first day."

Herschel didn't want to believe it. It was one more example to him that the life he knew was slowly eroding; he was afraid for his daughters, afraid of what they were losing.

"I won't let you send them away. Neither will Glenn. This is your pride talking. Now, you always told me that's not how to decide things, with pride. Truly could have come after any one of us next. Me, daddy, it could have been me. Or Beth."

He knew his daughter was right. He didn't answer, so as Herschel walked into the parlor, Maggie held her breath.

"Rick tells me you've been a great help to him, getting everyone organized to move into the house." Herschel looked down at Daryl as he spoke, noticing the fresh gash in his cheek and scabbed knife slash at his throat.

"You had a little trouble last night?" He moved his eyes to Danni.

Daryl stood ready to defend her actions against Truly.

"Carol mentioned you had quite a bit of pain, but no vomiting or bleeding. I'm going to say the baby is fine, but I'll take a look at you anyway. To be sure. How far along are you now?"

"Three and a half months."

"You're not showing much yet, it's still early."

Maggie listened from the kitchen, loving her father more than ever if that was possible. He was the best man she'd ever known.

"How are you eating?"

"Fine." Danni said hesitantly still confused about Herschel's motives. He hadn't once mentioned Truly.

"Staying warm enough?"

She nodded and glanced quickly at Daryl who seemed as wary as she did.

"Come with me, I want to check out that bandage on your arm too. It's not holding up as well as I'd like."

He held out his hand to Danni and helped her up from the couch. "Are you just going to stand there and let Rick do all the work?" He asked Daryl.

He shook his head and watched Herschel walk Danni into the hallway.

Before Daryl turned to leave Maggie became visible in the doorway. She caught his eye and winked. He nodded at her, she took it as thanks.

Danni sat on the wingchair in the back bedroom which had become a sort of infirmary. She extended her arm for Herschel who had removed the bandage and cleaned her healing bullet wound. At that moment, Danni found his ever-present suspenders comforting. His voice, too, was slow and thoughtful. He chose each word with great care, reinforcing the wisdom in it.

"I know you were close to Truly. I'm sorry for what happened but she gave me no choice." Danni had to say something; she felt Herschel was avoiding the subject and it hung heavily over them.

He was applying fresh gauze as he spoke.

"She wasn't a mockingbird. You are our mockingbird."

When Danni looked slightly puzzled he asked, "Do you know the book by Miss Harper Lee?"

She nodded. "Of course. I used to pretend that my real dad was Atticus Finch." She sounded far away and laughed a little at the memory. "But, me?"

"Mockingbirds don't do one thing but make music for us to enjoy. They don't eat up people's gardens, don't nest in corn cribs, they don't do one thing but sing their hearts out for us. That's why it's a sin to kill a mockingbird." He recited Miss Maudie's title line from the book.

"Maggie tells me you're a singer. A good one." He paused thoughtfully. "Now young lady, I've never seen you do anything but good for people around here. You are beloved by your group.

Danni was deeply moved and a little overcome by such benevolent, flattering words. No one had ever paid her that kind of compliment before.

"Thank you." She managed softly. She didn't realize Herschel had ever paid any attention to her. Still, she wondered how he'd feel if he knew everything about her; they had very different belief systems. She often saw him reading his bible. She respected his devoutness even as it was different from her own. It was his faith that she felt was important. Would he be so generous with her if it came to that?

"Sometimes an old man like me has a hard time with change. I've been set in my ways for quite some time. I'm sorry I doubted you. Doubted Rick."

"No need to be sorry, and don't worry about Rick. He knows you believe in him. I do too." She looked up. 'We're paying the highest tribute we can pay a man. We trust him to do right. It's that simple'."

Herschel smiled at her as she recited another quote from the book.

"You'll have to sing for me some time."

"Any time."

_Beloved? _ Her gut churned a little at the word, twisting fear with a desire to believe.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo

As Danni trekked back to her camp to help Daryl pack, she noticed Rick talking with Carl as they dismantled their tent. He was affectionate with his son, patting his shoulder, resting his hand on Carl's head. Carl had taken to wearing his dad's sheriffs hat. It was cute, sure, but she knew it said more about Carl's love and respect for his father being reciprocated than anything else. Watching them she felt melancholy knowing Daryl had never experienced a moment like the one she watched now, between Rick and Carl. Hell, neither had she. She realized Rick was a lot more like Atticus Finch than her dad had ever been. He took on the necessary job that other people are unwilling and afraid to do: lead in a time of crisis and uncertainty.

_'There are some men in this world who were born to do our unpleasant jobs for us.'_

He had integrity and did what he thought was right. He went back for Merle. She'd never forget that day. Never forget the sacrifice Rick made to appease his conscience all for someone like Merle Dixon. He didn't judge, but rather, believed in humanity.

'_Before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience.'_

Danni felt no ill will toward him for hesitating with Truly. None at all. He was leading this group blind, under unbearable pressure and strain. She saw Rick depend on Daryl more every day. She knew it was good for both men.

Rick looked up and noticed her staring at him. She smiled a little. He waved, knowing they were okay.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo

**_So many times I've gotten used to this  
this old idea of being all alone  
tell me how I'm supposed to get through with this?  
I wish this house felt like a home_**

**_-White Stripes_**

Daryl began breaking camp, while Danni was still with Herschel. He wished he had his old gray pickup, the one he'd left in Atlanta. But what's done is done, so he put as much as he could into the saddle bags and their backpacks. The truck had been Merle's, then his. The first thing he ever really owned. The air had that chilly autumn snap and the sky's weaker sunlight reminded him of school. He hated school. His junior high was beyond rural only about a thousand students. It served the need of several towns in the county, having a large socio- economic range. Daryl never tried to make friends because he knew he couldn't compete. The Dixons were dirt poor so he didn't have the latest sneakers or video games; he didn't know the hit, cool songs, he hadn't seen the latest movies or own a single article of trendy clothing. After while he didn't care, gave up a little. He'd begun to feel life was hopeless, but just before summer vacation another twelve-year-old tried to commit suicide by hanging himself. Daryl knew who he was, had four classes with him. He survived but the image haunted Daryl all summer. He realized as hopeless as he felt at times, he had a will to live. He'd never give up. Dartl would fight anything and anyone. So what if he didn't fit in at school; after a while he didn't care. He'd show up in his second-hand clothes and collect his free lunch, get his c's but none of that mattered. He just kept fighting like he always had to.

The one good thing in his life was the woods. He fit in there. He spent all his time practicing and honing the skills Merle had taught him. Hunting became his life. It occurred to him it was something not everyone could do as well as him.

Daryl remembered how surprised he always was when Merle showed up. Like that time he saw his brother's motorcycle parked next to the trailer as he walked up the dirt path after school. Must have been twelve? How did Merle know that the old man was gone, off on a bender? Had he been watching them?

Merle was inside drinking a beer.

"Aint you gonna welcome me home?"

Daryl kept his expression neutral even though he was glad to see him.

"When did you get out?"

"Got sprung last week."

"Couldn't write?"

Merle ignored him.

This happened periodically. Merle would disappear for chunks of time usually incarcerated on minor drug charges or for dealing then just show up without notice.

"You been fighting in school again? Best be winning." Merle noticed Daryl's black eye.

"Yeah, 'course." He said defensively. " Shoulda' seen the other guy."

Merle grunted in approval.

Daryl wouldn't admit their father was beating on him everyday. When Merle was back his father left Daryl alone. He knew Merle was more than a match for him now so he had a break when his brother was around.

"Where's the old bastard at anyway?"

Daryl shrugged. "Been gone a couple of days now."

"Good cause I'm back, little brother."

He always said that. But he always left again.

"Here." He tossed Daryl a can of PBR. "How's my truck?"

It was one of the better times with Merle. When he'd teach him practical skills like how to take care of his gun and change the engine in a car. He handed Daryl his girlie magazines at night warning, "Don't them pages all stuck together, I need those back when your done."

So on that visit, junior high age Daryl got his first taste of beer and pornography courtesy of Merle. He also gave him his first experience behind the wheel.

Merle was driving his old pickup, Daryl was in the passenger seat listening to AC DC. Merle tossed out the empty beer can he'd been holding between his legs and looked at Daryl with bleary eyes asking "Wanna drive?"

"Hell yeah."

He pulled over and the brothers exchanged places. Daryl sped along the back roads, getting the hang of it, Merle repeatedly telling him to go faster.

Out in the middle of nowhere there wasn't much to crash into.

Daryl shook his head, trying to pushing Merle from his mind.

Thinking back, Daryl had mixed feelings about his brother. Love, disgust, affection, resentment and sometimes hatred. The best he could say was that the good times softened the blow of the bad ones.

He'd say_ I'm home little brother. I got your back._ But he'd always leave again.

The desolation of being left alone washed over him. He felt like he was a kid, helpless and lonesome. He tried his best to push the feelings down but he just got angry.

When Danni drew near, she saw Daryl leaning against a tree, head down, shoulders hunched. He was shaking.

She walked up behind him, placing her hand gently on his back.

He startled, then slowly turned, still shaking a little. "Goddamn Merle. Why'd he bother ever coming back at all. Just messed everything up worse."

His words surprised her; he never gave any real detail or reason behind what few feelings he'd shown before. As she held him he lowered his head on her shoulder pressing his face into her neck. She stroked his back calming him, settling him. She understood.

"Forget it, you're okay now. I'll never leave you."

He nodded against her warm, smooth neck. It struck him as powerfully as the first time; she** always** knew what he needed.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

"Is it true? She's dead?" Andrea approached Daryl as he and Glenn unloaded more from the bed of the Greene's old blue pickup to the porch.

Glenn answered. "Yeah, Danni shot her. Self defense. That woman was certified crazy."

Andrea nodded. "At least Danni killed someone who actually deserved it for a change."

Glenn waited for Daryl's explosion, but it never came. Instead he glared at Andrea to such a degree she actually felt uncomfortable enough to leave without another insult toward Danni.

"You let that go?"

"She aint worth the powder to blow her to hell."

Daryl had a feeling Danni wasn't finished having issues with Andrea.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooo

Danni's back pack was heavy and hit the floor with a thump when she dropped it by the dresser. Herschel had given Danni and Daryl the back bedroom. She'd argued, saying the floor or a couch was fine, but he'd insisted.

Packing earlier, she had an odd feeling that she should put more in the saddlebag of the bike and her backpack than her duffel bag. She shrugged and went with her instincts as usual. Plus it would drive Daryl crazy if she put a bunch of her clothes in with his 'important' stuff. She made sure her journals, tarot cards and books were in her back pack. Despite being in the comfortable, warm room, she continued to feel uneasy; something told her not to unpack just yet. She left the clothing, extra guns, his hunting knives and everything else in the saddle bags and their packs. Tomorrow would be soon enough.

When dusk fell, everyone sat around the Greene's dining room table and enjoyed the large dinner Carol and Lori had prepared. The scene resembled the one at the CDC when they'd also shared a meal together. Everyone seemed relaxed, conversation was easy, the food was delicious and the house kept them warm against the chilly autumn night. As hard as she tried, Danni couldn't lose herself in the experience the way she wanted to.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

She continued pacing; she'd sit for a minute, but was up again before he could touch her.

"Are you gonna settle down or what?" Daryl asked. "You didn't eat nothing at supper."

She finally lay across his lap as he sat leaning against the oak headboard.

"Something's not right. I don't know what. I'm nervous and worried and I don't know why."

Was it Sophia's possible ability to have premonitions or Danni's fear that Carol might be afraid and reject her if she knew her heritage? Maybe it was the discomfort of Herschel's acceptance of her? _These people don't **really** know me and if they did, the'd feel very differently. _The old tape was playing in her head. She was starting to feel trapped, a little claustrophobic. Time to run away._ But I can't do that anymore._

He put his hand under her shirt. Her body began to respond, her back arched under his warm, deliberate touch, but she suddenly bolted up. "Sorry." She sighed. "I have this bad feeling I can't shake."

T knocked at the door, "Hey Daryl, you're up man."

"Try to shake it by the time I'm done with watch, huh?" He put his hand back under her shirt then leaned down and kissed her neck. He headed to the door "Try."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo

Daryl sat straddling the porch rail, shotgun ready at his side, looking at the moon, wondering about her feeling. He noticed she hadn't rushed to unpack anything.

Rick joined him on the porch, screen door creaking behind him.

Daryl thought he knew what she might be worried about. He was getting to know her mind.

"Reckon you ought to have a plan if something happens here." Daryl mentioned casually to Rick.

Rick was curious and leaned on the rail next to him. "Happens?"

"If we get run off, should be something set up so everybody knows what to do. Where to go." Daryl's voice was lower than usual. He looked up waiting for Rick's reaction, wondering if he'd be taken seriously.

Rick didn't want to believe that could happen, but Daryl's no bullshit attitude helped him to face facts. He needed that reality check.

"You're right. We can't be too careful. What do you suggest?"

Daryl was surprised that Rick wanted his advice.

"Up to me, I'd say meet at the spot back on the highway where Sophia went missing at the wrecked semi. Everybody knows it, it's far enough away that we'd have a chance to plan the next move."

"No guarantee it would be safe there."

"No saying it wouldn't be."

"O.K. It's a plan. I'll get the word out."

Daryl nodded, feeling validated.

"Daryl, that thing I told you last night. Thanks for listening, hearing me. You don't know how good it feels not to be alone with it anymore.'  
"Aint no reason you should do all the heavy lifting."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo

Daryl sat behind her on the bed and dropped his head so his mouth was on the back of her neck. The light was low, glowing warmly from the bedside oil lamp. His watch shift was over and Danni agreed to let him try to 'shake" the bad feeling from her.

A shiver ran through her as his lips made a warm, damp trail from one shoulder to the other. His fingers traced the top of her tank top to enjoy the sensation of her skin, scars and all. By the time he stopped kissing and caressing her, Danni was breathing hard. Her body ached for him. Needed him. Wanted him. It was a strong sensation like hunger or thirst. It took all her willpower not to turn; she waited to see what he would do to her next.

A sigh escaped her, and she felt her tension slowly melt as his hands reached up to cup her cheeks. Even If he only touched her face for the rest of her life she could die happy. As his warm hands caressed her, his lips resumed tasting of her shoulders.

"You knew I could do it, huh? Truly."

"Yeah, but it's history now. Done."

"But I..."

"For once, stop talking and let me think about how much I love you, how beautiful you are." He groaned.

She turned around to face him. "You really mean that don't you ... the beautiful part?"

He sighed,_ tongue enough for ten rows of teeth._

"You hair ... your face ... your body. I could spend my whole life lookin' in your eyes. You got no idea how many times I had to do something else to make myself stop thinking about you, after that thing with Ed when I first...saw you."

"I used to worry you thought I was pathetic, just the damsel stranded in the tower shit."

"Never thought of you like no damsel in distress."

"I know you did. You said you were tired of saving my ass every damn day. Remember?"

"For half a minute." He had said it. He remembered everything.

Since he knew she wasn't going to stop talking he asked, "When did you know?

Danni was surprised at how talkative he was. How open. Maybe it was the confidence Rick was showing him? It made him feel more sure of himself.

"That night you brought me the pain medicine after my concussion. We were sitting in the van and you looked at me so hard you almost scared me. I knew I wanted you then. I tried to keep you there, didn't want you to go." She shook her head and pushed her hair back behind her ears. "I never knew what you wanted. Sometimes I thought... but then you'd ...push and pull." She smiled. "But, I got a little preview of how good you'd be." She covered her eyes.

"What?"

"The dream I had that night about you made me fucking cum in my sleep." She actually blushed.

"Yeah?" He smiled at the thought.

"I avoided you the next day. Just couldn't look at you."

She worried him that morning; he'd thought she was done with him. It was the day she got into it with Andrea, when Amy died.

"Danni I remember every minute I been with you ... every word ... every look ... every touch. I opened up a whole, big unused part of my mind so I'll never forget anything about you," He said with the earnestness of a little boy.

She started feeling her eyes tear. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For reminding me how good it feels to be alive ... be a woman .. your woman. Daryl I was still pretty lost when I met you. Better than I'd been but still sad and alone; part of me worried that maybe I was too damaged to ever repair. But the way you see me makes me believe in myself; maybe because of all the shit you're fighting too. I don't know ... I feel like my heart's building a stronger wall around the pain so it can't hurt me anymore. You changed so much for me. I'm babbling I guess."

"What else is new."

"Today, when you said that stuff about Merle...you can tell me anything. You know that right?"

He looked down; she knew didn't want to talk about himself. She wanted him to see what she saw in him. She hated pain in his eyes.

He felt his mouth grow dry and his heart hammer in his chest. His voice cracked as he confided, "I've been waiting for you my whole life, Danni."

He felt consumed by the still unfamiliar need for another person. She saw the longing in his eyes and felt emboldened by it.

"I love you." She whispered, staring into him, sensing his tension drain away. He believed in Danni's dreams and felt the realization of his own destiny reflected in her eyes.

He was about to lay her down beneath him, when they heard the shots. They hastily made their way to the front porch surprised that they seemed to be the last to know the nightmare was coming true. Herds were approaching the burning barn and would soon head to the house.

"Where the hell, how?" The sheer numbers amazed Daryl.

"What do we do? Get in the house and barricade it?" Glenn asked panicking.

Sophia was whimpering. Danni bent down and held her tightly, whispering that she'd be fine.

"Group that size will rip the place down. We need to get out of here." Daryl stated.

Maggie had an armload of shot guns and distributed them like party favors.

"You know we gotta leave right?" Daryl asked her.

"Its my farm, I'll die here." Herschel took a gun.

"Daddy, no, Daryl's right, our only chance is to leave. But we can take 'em with as we go."

Maggie looked at Danni.

"As many as we can." She answered. _The Tower. S_he thought of Maggie's reading_._

"Where's Rick?" Daryl asked.

"He went to the barn, that's where most of them are." Lori explained nervously.

"What's he..." Before Daryl could finish his question, Rick pulled up in the Cherokee. He got out ran to hold Lori and Carl. He turned his head to Daryl. "Barn's on fire. it'll keep them occupied. "We need to move!"

"Stay with me." Daryl ordered Danni. Then to Rick "We'll run distraction. take out as many of them sons a bitches as we can, while you get everybody out."

Rick nodded, grateful Daryl had come up with the plan to meet on the highway.

Sophia held tightly to Fionn.

"Watch him for me bug. I'll see you in a bit." Danni put aside her fear and smiled at the girl. "Don't worry."

Sophia nodded.

"Where's Carol?" Danni asked suddenly missing her.

"With T and Dale, they were looking for Andrea, heading for his truck, on the other side of the barn. They were gonna be right behind me. They're armed." Rick shouted as he and Lori, hustled Sophia, Carl and a devastated Herschel into the Cherokee. Danni took out two Walkers getting too close as Rick pulled out. Glenn and Maggie drove up in her car with Beth, shouting that they were fine and ready to move. Danni ran to the bedroom to retrieve their backpacks. She was a little cold in leggings and a flannel shirt, but there was no time to hunt for her jacket. Lucky the shirt was one of those thermally insulated ones Maggie had given her. She turned to leave but found her self staring at the bed. _The bed where you happened,_ she told her babies.

Danni got on the bike behind Daryl. He started the engine, glad for its noise, hoping to attract Walkers and draw them out as the others made their escape. He drove back and forth between the house and barn, while Danni took aim and shot as many as she could with her hand gun. She stood up on the foot pegs, one arm around his chest the other stretched out to shoot the stumbling corpses feeling like she was playing an arcade game in hell.

T Dog's truck finally emerged from around the burning barn and drove to the road so Daryl turned out on to the driveway.

He pulled up to the fence, stopped the engine and they just stared at the fiery wooden structure. The farm was gone. The memories of what she and Daryl had shared there were burning with the barn. Some hard to lose: their wedding and her conception, the spell for Sophia at the crossoad, but others not so much: like Truly and Shane. Danni felt unfamiliar pangs of regret. Moving on had always been simple and necessary, she'd done it often, but this time she was losing a sense of place. She'd felt at home on the farm and she wasn't used to that so she focused on Daryl; he was her home now and she wasn't losing him. She hugged his waist. He turned his head, as if knowing what she was thinking. The majority of Walkers were still gathered around the barn, but a few had started migrating a toward the fence.  
"We need to go." He said, just as the cries came from their right, up the dirt drive.

Daryl started the bike and drove toward the screams seeing Carol, stumbling out of the field.

"Carol!" Danni shouted getting off the chopper.

"Hell you goin'? Daryl grabbed her arm. She pulled away and put her arms around Carol.

"Come on." She gently pushed Carol to get on the motorcycle.

"Take Carol."

"What?" He asked but knew there was no good answer.

"Sophia is **not **losing her mother! Take Carol god dammit!"

Carol sat on the bike behind Daryl in shock, tears streaming. "Sophia?"

She's with Rick, they made it out, I saw them." Danni assured her.

"Danni I can't let you do this."

"You are too good a mom-Sophia can't lose you. Just go! Take this for me." Danni gave Carol her backpack.

To Daryl she shouted, "Bring her to the highway, I'll stay on the road, I'll head in that direction."

His face was pained. Danni put her hand on his cheek. This was killing him, but he knew she was right about Sophia. Neither of them would let a kid lose a good parent.

He let her make this decision because he couldn't. He let her tell him what to do because something in Danni's eyes wouldn't let him refuse her.

"Come back for me! I'll stay on the road. Just come back!"

He took his buck knife and put it in her hand. "Your knife won't do shit for you out here!"

They were yelling over the engine. She smiled sadly at his words.

She held him. "Just come back."

Daryl squinted refusing tears and said. "Hold on. Hold on and wait for me."

She stepped back and watched them speed off leaving her completely alone. Not completely. _My little troublemakers are here. _She held her tummy and promised,_ I'll keep us safe._ She scanned the area. Walkers were beginning to migrate away from the barn. She started running down the driveway. When she reached the crossroad, she stopped and picked up a handful of the dirt, looked at the moon then sprinted to the road.

They were beginning to emerge from the woods. There were too many geeks to outrun. Danni snuck up behind the first one she could and plunged Daryl's knife into the back of its head. She pulled the fallen corpse on top of her and held her breath as the first small herd passed. She knew it wasn't safe to stay like this, a sitting duck for the next group that would inevitably move through.

Waiting for a light at the end of the tunnel? Well stride down there and light the damn thing yourself.

She rolled the dead Walker off of her. Using strength she didn't know she had, she pulled Daryl's knife through its guts and opened its abdominal cavity. She started slathering the blood and entrails over her clothing, her body, her hair. She bent over and vomited, the sickly sweet perfume of rotting eggs over powering her. As she forced herself to continue with the disgusting survival tactic she kept dry heaving. Her stomach was empty, but she was unable to control her nausea; the smell was too much. When she thought she had camouflaged herself enough with the putrid odor of the dead, she topped it off by throwing the corpse's jacket over her for extra protection. She walked, stopping every so often to dry heave. She felt like crying, but she kept going staying her course on the road listening for any sound of the chopper. She sang Songbird softly to babies.

_For you there'll be no crying, For you the sun will be shining' Cause I feel that when I'm with you It's alright, I know it's right And the songbirds keep singing Like they know the score And I love you, I love you, I love you Like never before To you, I would give the world ..._

She had no idea how much time had passed. She moved in slow motion. She was alone for parts of the journey; when she caught up to a herd she swallowed her terror and started a slow shuffling limp. If she didn't panic, if just she stayed calm she'd make it, she knew she would. Danni kept inching forward. Waiting for him.

It was almost dawn when she collapsed on the side of the road, Walkers stumbling over her. She didn't know how far she'd come, but she was weak and dehydrated from vomiting. Her shaking legs buckled under her, adrenaline left and exhaustion took over. Maybe this had been a stupid mistake. She couldn't do it. Her legs continued to shake under her. _What the fuck was I thinking? Sophia, Carol. _She remembered she'd kept them safe and together. If she died here, it would be worth it. She closed her eyes to rest. Just for a minute. Dozens of feet continued to stumble and shuffle past her head, she felt them hit the ground under her ear.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

_"Tell me Danu's correspondences."_

_Danni's question was met with distracted silence._

_"Hey, are you paying attention?"_

_The little girl's intense blue eyes stared out the kitchen window watching Daryl and her brother getting ready to go on a hunt._

_She turned back to her mother, elbows on the table leaning her chin on her hands._

_"Her colors are Blue, white sliver, green. Elements are water and earth. Seasons: Imbolc and Lammas. Tarot: the Empress. Aspects: Mother, of the cycle of the maiden mother crone."_

_More silence._

_"What else?"_

_"Animals: mares, snakes, fish. Her scent is amber."_

_"Trees?" Danni prompted_

_"Rowan tree, the Apple tree, the Hawthorne tree."_

_The recitation was half-hearted at best, she was barely tolerating her lessons this morning._

_"You want to go don't you?" Danni asked_

_Only then did her eyes flash with enthusiasm and fire like her father's._

_"It's not fair, he always gets to go with da and I'm stuck here learning all this stuff that I don't even care about."_

_Danni heard herself at ten saying the same thing to Brigid. She held back a smile. Her daughter had a mind of her own. Like her mother._

_"Today you can go, but tomorrow we have to move on to the Tuatha De Danann."_

_She pushed back the girl's bangs and tried to kiss her head but she wriggled out from under her and ran for the back door. Danni followed._

_Daryl looked at her. "Yeah?"_

_She knew he liked having both kids along._

_"Yeah." She was slowly relinquishing the idea of her little girl being her female ally and companion._

_"But she's a girl!" Her brother complained._

_"Hey!" Danni and Daryl cautioned him a the same time their voices in unison._

_He sighed in defeat while his sister smirked at him._

_Danni sat on the back steps watching the three head out, past the fence locking the gate behind them. Their little girl had Daryl's hand; she was practically pulling him. Her brother shouldered his crossbow and was already on alert, eyes focused head turning at every noise, mimicking his father beside him._

_"Be careful." She whispered._

When Danni opened her eyes she immediately returned to the horror of her situation made worse by the bliss of her dream. There were Walkers scattered in every direction, moving past, tripping over her spent body. With her last ounce of willpower more than physical strength, she prayed to Danu, and rose to her feet.  
"Oh great mother, listen to the woes of your daughter. I need your guidance. Shine your blessed light down on me and guide my path. Help me if I stumble and I will be strong. Help me let go of fear and move forward with your truth, guide and bless my spirit which I dedicate to you with all my heart. Thank you mother Danu, Blessed Be."

With each word she dragged herself forward.

She thought she was dreaming again when she heard it. The rumbling was coming from up the road. It couldn't be real, she was hallucinating. The roar of the engine got louder, so she headed out on to the dirt, seeing the bike coming toward her. When she made out his face, she raised her arm so he'd know it was her before she collapsed again.

He came to a halt beside her crumpled form. Dismounting he held her up, realizing what she'd done to protect herself. She stunk and was a mess but she was alive.  
"You are one smart girl," he muttered, pulling her up. He felt respect and something else wash over him. Love yeah he loved her. He saw the Walkers converging on them.

"Hey," He slapped her face, "wake up I need you to hang on to me."

She opened her eyes, "You came back."

She got on behind him and used her last ounces of strength to hold around his waist as he delivered her from death.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 

"Get it off me, off me," Danni complained, suddenly overcome with the disgusting feel and smell clinging to her body. Now that she was safe it was intolerable. "Off...off..." she was breathing heavy, trembling and rubbing her arms.

Daryl held her face in his hands. "Look at me. You're okay."

She continued to shake, but nodded, focusing on his eyes, staying present.

"Clothes, does she have any more?" Carol asked rushing over.

"The bike, in the saddlebag." Daryl told her.

Carol retrieved jeans, a t-shirt and Danni's hoodie.

"I have this." Carol took her from Daryl. She walked Danni behind an abandoned water delivery truck and stripped off her filthy, slimy, putrid wet clothes. She opened a plastic bubbler refill container so that water flowed out rinsing her, removing all traces of Walker innards and entrails from her hair and body. Danni shivered, but was relieved to be clean again.  
Daryl joined them behind the truck; he brought one of his shirts to dry her off before she dressed. He also had her leather jacket.

When she emerged, clean and dry except for her hair, still a little shell-shocked, the sight of everyone together relieved her.

"Never leaving you again. Don't care what's going on. Hear me?" He hissed in her ear. She knew he wasn't really angry, just scared. He pulled her hood over her wet hair.

She turned toward him and nodded. "Never." They held each other tightly. He dropped his face to hers and kissed her desperately, hungrily covering her mouth with his own, not letting her breathe. She grasped the back of his head, pulling as hard as he pushed. He didn't care that everyone was watching.

Ironically, Danni felt trapped by the group dynamics.

Danni couldn't get the thought out of her head: _These people don't **really** know me and if they did, the'd feel very differently. _ Time to run away._  
_


	33. Backlash

**_ **This is a very Danni-centric chapter and once again I think I'm taking chances, maybe even a risk or two with characterizations. My goal has always been to make Danni as real, human and relatable as possible. She has self doubts and flaws and they do affect her. I think her strength is in her ability to recognize and deal with them, so I hope that's what comes through in this chapter. Daryl too, his struggles to completely over come his deeply rooted past are not over. Everyone makes mistakes it's how we handle them that defines us._**

**_**You are all probably sick of me saying thank you for being here and reading, BUT I don't care. THANK YOU. Love to you all xx_**

**_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo_**

**_In the end I was the mean girl_**

**_somebody's in between girl._**

**_-Neko Case_**

Danni remembered crawling on her hands and knees on a filthy concrete dressing room floor in Tijuana, Mexico after a gig during which she'd had just completed the most embarrassing blind-drunk set of her career. She worried that her band would be kicked off the one-month, high-profile tour with a national act because she was behaving so unprofessionally. Drunken Angel's popularity was finally rising, thanks to a well-received first album. With more people in the crowd, she felt more responsibility to try to put on a decent show and not be shit faced.** Try**, being the operative word. Broken glass embedded itself in her palms and kneecaps as she dragged herself to the toilet, which sat bare and open in the dressing room. After she'd heaved a day's worth of tequila shots out of her system, she attempted to steady herself on her feet by leaning against a cinder-block wall. Her forehead was sweaty, and there was a fresh tear around the armhole of her vintage Blondie t-shirt. Her black tights were shredded, black eyeliner smudged giving her raccoon eyes. The sound man and drum tech patted her on the back and said, "You girl, are our hero."

That's when she'd learned it didn't pay to be well behaved, too demure and careful in the eyes of the veteran road crew. Now that she'd attempted to perform blackout drunk, followed by a public puking session, she was a welcomed member of the club - she was a bona fide rocker. The organizers of the tour however, still fired her band.

That is when Hayes lost it on her.

"You constantly sabotage everything. Any time something good happens you do something to ruin it. If that's what you want Danni fine, but don't take us down with you. We are not losing shows 'cause of you, or tours or recording deals. If you can't handle this you're out." He looked upset but ended with, "We'll find someone else."

Hayes tried to wake her up and show her what she was losing. She thought she was paying her dues. He told her she was ruining her life. "It's like you think you don't deserve anything good happening to you. I don't get it."

"Fuck you! If I can't **handle** this?" Double fuck you. He was her best friend and she knew the most hurtful thing to say. "You're only here because of me. I'm the only one anybody cares about, don't you read? You wouldn't have any of this without me."

She looked up at his skinny, almost six-foot frame as he ran his palms through his messy dark hair in frustration. He was wearing his ancient, faded Metallica t-shirt and studded belt she gave him for his birthday last year. He was her best friend and she was crushing him.

Pick a fight with the person you care about the most and the greatest amount of damage you can to ruin everything good in your life. Self sabotage.

Self sabotage was her middle name.

"You are a real bitch, you know that?" Hayes knocked the bottle of beer from her hand, sending it crashing to the pavement. They were standing in an alley behind the club, half their equipment loaded into the van, the rest piled by the back door. He went on "This is a** band. Y****ou** said that remember? This is the first time you felt part of something." He added "You're not acting like yourself right now."

"You don't know me, you think you do but you don't."

"We all have an equal part and it wouldn't work if one of us were missing. Danni, **you** said that."

"Yeah well you shouldn't listen to me all the time. You can be so naïve."

It was a long, uncomfortable, silent drive back to Austin. Was Hayes right? Did she feel she didn't** deserve** to be happy? The guys eventually accepted her apology, but Danni knew she had to prove herself to them again. She pulled it together and never destroyed another opportunity. She stopped drinking and started taking care of herself. She decided her past demons would never control her again.

Self sabotage-destroying every good thing in your life. Never say never.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

Danni shook the memory from her mind, and returned to slowly sipping the water Carol was holding to her mouth. She sat on the open tailgate of the jeep Cherokee, recovering fully from her ordeal. It was past dawn now, the chilly sun reaching the center of the sky over the highway. She looked at the people in front of her, genuinely happy that they were safe and alive. T-Dog, Glenn and Maggie, Herschel and Beth, Andrea, Rick, Lori Carol and the kids. Everyone had made it. Except Dale.

T Dog had lost sight of him, when the herd cut Carol off from them. He wasn't sure what had happened. Daryl offered to go back, but Rick refused. They couldn't afford to risk time or another life. The harshness of what Rick spelled out increased Danni's feeling of helplessness because she knew Rick was right and because she could be lost or dead now just as easily as Dale.

Earlier, after she'd cleaned up she still felt alone and all she could do after she forced herself to let go of Daryl was approach Sophia and Carl, the buffer, like when she'd first come across these people. Kids were easy. She hugged them and rubbed Fionn's cheek.

"Danni, you said I'd be okay, I am. You are too." Sophia said with a triumphant grin. "I knew you would be."

She smiled weakly. _It wasn't that easy. _She kissed the top of Sophia's head.

Danni's body was feeling less shaken but her mind more rattled.

She was afraid of her precarious situation. Back at the burning farm, she felt regrets but now the situation finally came into full perspective. This group of people had **nowhere to go.** She was pregnant, she needed a safe haven. Her instinct from the past took over. She had to get out of here and find her own way. Her fear began to influence her for the first time in a long while. _Fight or flight_. The sense of losing her place in the world returned from last night. The solution was to leave with Daryl. They'd make it work, find security, maybe the place in her dreams.

Carol noticed Danni seemed quiet and distant. Any time she'd tried to catch her eye and smile, she swore Danni had looked away, deliberately avoiding her gaze. Carol assumed she hadn't completely recovered from her shock and fatigue. She fought her way among those Walkers, along that road while pregnant all for Carol. She felt more than admiration for the girl.

"Danni, what you did for me, I don't know any words that can express my gratitude. I think about all you've done for me since I've known you. You found my daughter, you saved my life. I'd have nothing now if not for you." Carol said exactly what Danni did not need to hear at that moment.

_I can't handle this. _

Danni just nodded looking uncomfortable. She got up and returned to Daryl's side as he discussed plans with Rick. She leaned against him, needing to feel his energy but he moved away from her focusing on the map Rick was marking up on the hood of jeep. She wasn't ready for Daryl to start acting like this yet, but he was already back to business as usual. She didn't want to share him at that moment and didn't care how selfish it seemed.

A few straggling Walkers starting up the highway toward them.

Rick announced it was time to move. "It's not safe here."

"Stay off the main roads. Bigger the road more assholes like this one." Daryl said calmly, shooting the stumbling geek between the eyes.

Danni insisted on riding with Daryl even though she was so exhausted she could barely hang on to him. Carol offered her place in the Cherokee to catch up on some sleep, but when she'd refused so coldy and abruptly, Carol knew something was definitely wrong. Danni clung to Daryl almost exclusively, barely looking at or speaking to anyone else. It was unlike her. Still overcome, Carol surmised hoping that was all.

After driving for most of the day further north-west into the middle of the state, the group, back in caravan formation, stopped on the side of the road, near a small clearing in front of a crumbling, civil war era stone above ground bunker.

Rick pulled over so Daryl stopped. "You out?" He asked dismounting.

"Running on fumes. We'll have to make a run for gas in the morning." Rick answered.

"And spend the night here?" Danni asked walking up beside Daryl. She pulled here leather jacket tighter around herself. She crossed her arms over her chest.

No one answered her.

"I'm cold." Carl complained

"I'm cold too." Sophia mimicked him.

"We'll build a fire." Lori rubbed her son's shoulders.

"We can't stay here." Danni repeated herself. Daryl acted like he hadn't heard her.

"Anybody looking for firewood stay alert, I only got so many arrows. How you doing on ammo?" He asked Rick

"Not enough." Rick answered. He surveyed the landscape around them. "We'll set up a perimeter and in the morning we'll find gas and some supplies and keep pushing on." Rick explained putting his jacket over the shoulders of a shivering Sophia.

"Glenn and I can go make a run now and scrounge some gas." Maggie offered.

"No, we stay together. God forbid something happens and someone's stranded without a car." Rick cautioned.

"Rick we're stranded now." Glenn added, worried.

"Glenn calm down and listen to Rick." Herschel said.

"I know it looks bad we've all been through hell and worse but at least we are together."

Rick glanced at Daryl realizing his plan to meet on the highway was the reason they were all here now. "We keep it that way. We'll find shelter somewhere; there's gotta be a place."

"Rick look around, there are Walkers everywhere; they're migrating or something." Danni was incredulous that he wanted to stay here. She flashed back to her fight to live last night among herds of Walkers on a road that looked very much like this one.

"There has to be another safe place." He repeated himself. "And not just where we hole up, but where we can fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together. Build a life for each other. I know its out there we just gotta find it. "

"Even if we do find a place and we think its safe we'll never know for sure or for how long. Look at what happened to the farm; we fooled ourselves." Danni said.

Everyone looked away.

_Why isn't Daryl saying anything to back me up?_

"Won't make that mistake again." Herschel summed up.

"We'll make camp tonight then get on the road at the break of day." Rick pushed forward with his plan.

"Are you okay with this?" Danni asked Daryl.

He shrugged and turned back to Rick. "Over there, gives us some protection." He said pointing to the stone bunker. "Camp inside."

She had her answer.

Danni barely paid attention to Rick as he continued to speak. Words faded in and out of her awareness. She had her hand on Daryl's wrist and as he moved to leave she didn't let go. He gave her a puzzled look.

He shook her hand off casually.

"Be right back, we need firewood and I'll see if I can't get us anything to eat."

He was ramped up in a hyper aware state; the 'get it done' mode that Rick brought out._ Get it done for everyone else._ She needed him now and he was ignoring her.

"Let somebody else go. Just this once."

"You know I can't." He looked uncomfortable. "You're okay."

"I'm always okay." She sounded cold and the way she turned and walked away from him so abruptly was odd. She pulled on her hood and lowered her head as she moved away from him.

"Come if you want." He called after her but she didn't acknowledge him. He figured she was sleep deprived and in a bad mood. He'd noticed she was quiet and kind of hanging on him more than usual. He'd let it go since she'd been so shaken from the night before. But it was over; she needed to get back to normal and pull herself together. He had. Shit, he'd almost lost her. He'd been thrown for a loop too, but she was safe and he'd never let her do anything like that again. She was safe, the babies were fine. End of story. _Damn girl thinks too much about everything. _

Danni headed to the crumbling stone wall and sat hugging her knees to her chest, hoping everyone would leave her alone. Daryl was acting like last night had been nothing, like it hadn't even happened. She hadn't felt this empty in a very long time. Her arm was sore, she was still burned out from last night and the feeling that she'd been living a lie all these months was hitting her hard. She looked at her ring, the horseshoe and dice. She wanted to take it off and throw it. She twisted it around her finger instead. It felt calming and comforting to keep turning it around and around.

_Beloved, _Herschel had said. Something about the word turned her world upside down and released old feelings of worthlessness, self-doubt. It had needled her since yesterday. _Beloved, bullshit_. He hadn't even seemed upset about what she'd done to Truly. He should have been furious and confronted her. And Carol, she cringed when she realized she'd told her such shameful, personal things. She felt vulnerable. Because of Carol, Daryl also knew. It was a double cringe. What must Carol think of her? She could crush Danni with all that information if she ever wanted to. And if they found out about her beliefs? Her witchcraft? They'd shun her. Herschel especially, would not understand. Carol might accuse her of doing something negative to Sophia to cause premonitions. Andrea would finally get her chance to see Danni kicked out. Danni wouldn't let it happen. She'd make the first move like she used to. She hated feeling helpless, like she was sitting and waiting to be attacked. The rug had been pulled out from under her last night. She felt un anchored, nowhere to go or hide. Saving Carol's life is what probably pushed her over the edge.

It was finally time. She had to get away from these people because she was getting too close to them. She couldn't handle that.

_Ghost has got me running._

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo

The leaves were soft beneath them as they sat within the parameters of the crumbling stone bunker. T Dog was on watch positioned atop the far wall. The moon was waxing and only a few tiny stars glittered in the blackness overhead. The group sat around the large fire desperate for its warmth and light. Rick had done an adequate job of calming everyone down and motivating them for the morning. As much as he could.

"We don't need this." Danni whispered in Daryl's ear as he sat hunched toward the fire, tossing random branches into the spitting flames.

He turned toward her. "What?"

"It's over. Its time to go."

"Hell you talking about?"

They were speaking low so that no one heard their words, but Carol noticed tension on Daryl's face.

"The farm was a good thing but its gone."

He was confused; she wasn't making any sense, not sounding like herself at all.

"And Rick. You don't need to listen to him all the time."

"Rick's done all right by me."

"You call this all right?"

He started to get angry. "What do you want?"

"To go, lets just go."

He shook his head. "Don't make sense."

They were still whispering until she shouted "Fuck you!" and pushed him away from her. She stood quickly, stalking to an opening in the rock wall.

Why was he acting like this? Danni felt frustrated. He was putting the rest of the group before her. Talking to Rick all the time now instead of with her like he usually did. How could he betray her this way?

Danni's outburst startled everyone. Daryl, looked uncomfortable as he stood and followed her.

"What is going on with you?"

She didn't answer.

He felt like they had traded places especially when he said, "Let's talk."

"I want to leave. With you. Right now."

"Not gonna happen."

"Then there's nothing to talk about." She turned and he grabbed her shoulder.

"Get away from me." She hissed, noticing all eyes on them. "I thought I could depend on you."

He let her go feeling stung. Rick's stare embarrassed him. He felt everyone watching, wondering what he'd do next. Andrea smirked.

Daryl pulled her back behind the wall out of site of the others and, he hoped, a little further out of earshot.

"You are a real bitch right now."

She wouldn't look at him.

"Scaring Sophia."

"She needs to grow up."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"It's over." She answered.

"What is?"

"I can't do this anymore."

He felt like he'd left Danni back at the farm and had found an entirely different person on the road last night.

"You have to." Daryl said bluntly.

"Why? Because I'm stuck? I'm stuck with..."

"If you're gonna say me, I'd watch it. A little late for that now."

He felt everything slipping away and he didn't know why. Just yesterday he started to open up, actually said he loved her, told her she was beautiful, what he remembered about first meeting her; things he'd been afraid to share. Now she was throwing everything back in his face.

"It woulda' been nice if you'd pulled this crap a couple of months ago. Real nice." He rasped in frustration.

"So you wouldn't have wasted so much time?"

**"You** said that."

"You think you know me but you don't. I' m not who you think I am."

"You know how fucked up this is right? We're married, you're pregnant with my kids, the world full of dead people walking around ...you don't **have** anywhere to go. It's not like we can head to Reno, get a quickie divorce and you end up with the house, the car and the damn dog."

"Why won't you leave with me? Why? You never wanted to be with these people in the first place. You want to know what's wrong with me, well what's wrong with you? You're not who I thought you were either."

"We can't leave. Rick needs me."

" **I **need you. Let's go. Please."

"You had a bad night, it's over. You're okay now; need to let it go, thinking too much makes you weak."

"A bad night," She laughed in disbelief. "I almost died."

"But you didn't. That's all you need in your head now."

"Leave with me." She said again.

He shook his head. "You don't mean any of this. This aint you. What about all that stuff you told me about running away and hiding, how it don't work no more like it did when we were kids. We're **not **them kids anymore. About how we deserve more than that, our kids deserve more.** You** said that."

"You shouldn't listen to me all the time. You are so naïve."

Daryl felt his frustration and fear turning to anger. He hated how she was talking to him; not just what she was saying but how she was saying it, like she thought he was stupid or something. He had to get away from her, for the first time he actually wanted to hit her, hurt her. He was clenching his fists at his sides.

She dealt the final blow when she said, "If Merle walked up right now and asked you to leave with him, you'd be out of here in a second. You'd never look back."

"I'm not listening to any more of this bullshit." He turned and muttered, "Stupid bitch," as he stalked away.

When Daryl sat back down at the fire, he couldn't look at anyone. Carol leaned over and said, "She's been through a lot. She's in shock, she'll be fine. Give her some time."

Daryl nodded but didn't feel it would be that easy. He had no idea what to do to fix this. He was still clenching his fists. She wasn't acting right. She' d told him not to smother her or be her watchdog, why was she so upset with him for listening to her? She's the one who pushed him to listen to Rick; now he was trying to help Rick keep everybody alive. Didn't she see that? He needed her to support him, the way she ws **supposed** to, not fall apart. He was getting more pissed off. _Damn girl doesn't know what she wants._

Carol approached Danni sitting, her back against the crumbling wall distancing herself from everyone.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You're not acting like yourself."

"Stop saying that, everybody needs to just stop. You don't know who I am." All Danni could think of was that Carol knew her shameful past.

_All human beings have three lives: public, private, and secret. _Danni recalled the quote by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

She was so angry that Daryl wouldn't go with her that she lashed out at him, the one person she loved the most; he didn't deserve it. _Self sabotage_. This was how it worked: pick a fight with the person you know you can hurt the most. Do the greatest amount of damage you can to wreck everything good in your life. Welcome home. She knew she was being childish but she felt so vulnerable with no place to go. Her secrets were known and returning to haunt her. She needed Daryl most right now but he wasn't acting the way he was **supposed** to. Danni stared at him, hunched over the jumping, crackling flames, aching for him and wanting to take every word back. She twisted her ring around her finger to comfort herself. Carol left her, worried.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooo

He roughly pushed her shirt up. She was hardly awake yet.

Hey, give me a sec." Danni said sleepily,

He flipped her over on her stomach and forcibly pulled her up by her waist, so she was on her hands and knees before him on the mattress. He stared at the gray cinderblock wall noticing the bars from the window casting long shadows.

"Daryl, no." She realized what he was doing. He had promised her. "C'mon, let me up, we can do anything you want."

"I want** this **" He growled the word.

"You know I can't."

Jealousy, thoughts of Merle' brutality, visions from his past blinded him and he forced her to stay in the submissive position. He yanked her leggings down. When he went to unbuckle belt and pulled his zipper down she almost cried.

"Please, no." She begged.

For the first time she wasn't ready for him.

He felt totally in control; he knew she couldn't move. She had hurt him now he was hurting her. It was fast as her struggling pushed him over his edge almost instantly. He pulled out and finally let her crawl away. She turned and looked at him shaking. She wrapped her arms protectively around herself."Why?" Was all she asked. "Why?" She was trembling and crying, broken before him

"Guess I'm not who you thought I was. I told you I'm no good at this. Should have listened."

_I am Merle._

How could he explain he needed to own her, control her, that he was angry, jealous of that new guy, the one who'd had her first. He was afraid and now ashamed he'd exploited her fear; the one thing she'd trusted him not to do. That position signified the trauma of her past and part of him had wanted to use it against her because he knew he could. He guessed he had learned from his brother after all. Daryl didn't know what else to say and couldn't look at her anymore being too overcome with guilt. As he walked to a cell on the other side of the second floor he saw Merle nod to him from his place leaning on the railing. He'd seen the whole thing.

Daryl woke up sweating, mouth dry, heart pounding in his chest.

"Dammit." He felt like a teenager; he'd ejaculated in his pants. "Fuck." He was flooded with self-disgust, shame and guilt. He was angry with Danni but a dream like that? And Merle there approving of the whole thing. It was what he fought against all his life. That **wasn't** him. Where the hell did it come from? He felt sick. Not much, if anything, made Daryl nauseous but now he felt like he could puke. He got up and made it behind the wall just in time to heave his guts up. His hand shook as he wiped his mouth with his rag.

Daryl stayed awake after that. He sat up for what felt like hours, watching her curled up asleep a foot away on the ground. He couldn't figure out what was going on with her. She was scaring him and now he scared himself. He was furious with her but also terrified of not knowing why she was doing this and not knowing what to do to fix it. Was she right? Would he leave if Merle told him to? Did he have the dream because of her insistence that his brother meant more to him than she did?

Danni was shaken from sleep as Daryl grabbed her arm and yanked her to her feet, putting his hand over her mouth to keep her from making noise and waking anyone. He wasn't giving her a chance to start arguing in front of everyone again. He pulled her, half walking and half stumbling beside him far enough into the woods so they'd wouldn't be seen. Glenn was on watch and heard the rustling leaves under their feet; he turned, but when he saw them, looked in the opposite direction hoping to god Daryl could get her back to normal.

They barely made it around the corner before she was all over him. He had only meant to talk, but her hands tore at him in a fevered frenzy. Her lips were on his neck, ears, mouth as adrenaline raced through her veins. She pulled off her hoodie despite the cold and she drew Daryl onto her, falling back against the nearest tree. She made him dizzy forcing his full weight against her.

"Hey, I just want to talk." He removed his mouth from hers.

She began unbuttoning his shirt, desperate to run her hands along the muscles beneath. She massaged his taut biceps. Her touch was getting him hard but his dream was still haunting him. "This what you really want?" He needed her to tell him it was okay. He didn't think he could ever touch her again unless she did.

"I need you to fuck me more than anything right now."_ I almost died last night_. She pushed his shirt and vest off and licked his chest moving up to his neck as he dropped his hands and caressed her thighs. He reached down and pulled her up, pressing her breasts firmly against his body. He kissed her deeply, urgently. She kissed him back hard, her tongue exploring his mouth eagerly.

"You okay with this?"

She nodded. "I** said** yes. Don't stop."

He was going to murder that dream right here and now. Destroy any remnant of it.

He moved his mouth over her neck down to her collarbone. He gently slid her shirt up. She threw her head back and sighed deeply as he rubbed her nipples with his thumbs, causing the coil deep in her abdomen to tighten. He ran his hands over her rounder belly aware of the change in her shape.

He pulled her legs around his waist then pressed her firmly against the tree. She arched her back and thrust her hips forward grinding, desperate to have him against the ache between her legs. He stared into her eyes and kissed her hard. She could feel his heat pressed against her body through their clothing.  
He reached down and opened her jeans. She wasn't wearing panties after her change this morning. He dropped her legs and began rubbing her clit with his thumb as his fingers stroked the opening of her sex. He wanted this to feel as good as possible for her, he always did. He pictured her showing him what to do that first time; remembering the way she reacted to him, gave him confidence and reassurance. He wanted to please her, not hurt her. That's who he was.

She gasped, "No, no, can't..." Her body tightened at the intense wave of pleasure. He rubbed faster, sending her into oblivion. She let out a soft moan as her body tensed and she climaxed hard beneath his fingers. He felt her start to slip from his grasp, and tightened his arm around her, as her legs give out. She shook and her breath hitched unevenly as the waves passed over her.  
She went for his belt and zipper, the need to have him inside her overwhelming.

"Sure you want me to... its okay?"

She was confused by the question. He wasn't teasing, he was earnest

"Need you to answer me." He drew back, his voice commanding.

"Yeah I want you to." She pulled her jeans and boots off. "Should I say please?"

He picked her back up and held her against tree moving his hardened member down and placing it over her opening, slowly, gently pushing inside. Her body responded, moving forward to trying to force it all in. He moved back and again rubbed it over her sensitive opening.  
She couldn't take it anymore. Her body was desperate with need, desperate to feel him moving inside her. His eyes locked onto hers almost looking afraid before quickly thrusting into her aching pussy. She took it all in, hungrily gripping him with her muscles. They both gasped at the sensation as he began to pump in and out of her.  
He quickened his pace, fucking her hard, her back pounding against the tree. She held on with all her might, her nails digging into the flesh on his back. Her hard nipples rubbed against his chest with every thrust and her body flushed with heat as he throbbed and pulsed deep within her. She moved her hips forward to take him in even further.

"I'll never hurt you...never... scare you." He managed to get the words out.  
She shivered as her body began to tense, her muscles clenching tightly around him buried deep.  
"I know... you...won't... why..." but before she could finish he lifted her legs up higher around his waist and thrust himself so far inside of her she couldn't help but cry out when hit her most sensitive spot more powerfully than ever before. He clapped his hand over her mouth as she repeated his name loudly and her body shook with the force of her orgasm. They were too close to the others. His thrusting was reaching a fevered pitch, and she had to bite into his shoulders, neck - anything she could reach to keep from crying out again. The feeling sent him over the edge and he began pushing harder and faster desperate to feel every inch of her throbbing pussy. He couldn't hold back anymore and let himself erupt deep inside her. When he heard her say "God, I love you," he knew she wanted him to.

Did he think he could fix everything with this? Maybe. It did sometimes.

Danni wrapped her arms around him as her body calmed from the spasms of pleasure that surged through her and he held her tightly as his body relaxed, both panting from the exertion. He pulled her head back gently with his hands and he bit her neck while she scraped her nails down his back.

"I didn't mean it, when I said you don't know me. You do; better than anyone. I'm sorry. I love you, you know, right?"

He nodded into her neck, still holding on to her.

"I didn't mean **anything** I said before. I'll never take shit out on you again."

"Don't say never. Just let me **know** when you're doing it." He sighed, knowing her better than that.

They both realized that although they'd fought, regretted words, and felt anger toward each other, neither of them had once considered leaving the other.

She began to dress. He put his shirt back on and zipped his pants.

"Why did you ask like that when...? You never have to ask."

"Cause you need to know you can trust me."

"I do."

She was confused, but before she could press the issue, he pulled her arms to him and squeezed her wrists.

"I'll go." He said. "With you. In the morning, we'll leave ."

He wasn't losing her.

"What about Rick?"

"He'll understand. You come first." He wanted to ask her if she thought he'd put Merle before her, but couldn't get the words out.

"Thank you." She breathed into his ear. "Thank you." You are the only person I trust in the world."

He needed to hear her say the word trust. He'd never betray that trust.

They sat at the foot of the tree. She was between his legs, leaning back against his chest, his knees drawn up on either side of her. "We'll never see **our** tree again." She realized. "The one you carved..."

He wanted to say it was only a damn tree, but he knew it wasn't.

"Daryl, I want to go home. But...we don't have one."

"I'll find you one. One with a tree."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

Early the next morning, Daryl had informed Rick of his of plans to leave but Rick didn't tell anyone else. He wanted his chance to confront Danni first, to try to convince her to stay. He knew she was the reason behind Daryl's sudden change of heart.

"Danni don't do this." Rick pleaded with her, his voice hoarse with desperation.

"We have to."

"Why? What's changed?"

How could she explain.

"You said you trusted me, remember? You said you'd help;** anything **I need. You and Daryl would be here. What happened to that?"

Danni didn't know where she was going, she just started walking, wishing he'd stop talking.

He followed. "You owe me an explanation. If you're really leaving you need to tell me why."

"I need a safe place for the baby. We can't take any more chances."

"Leaving us is a huge chance, a huge risk. Don't you see that? We need you two as much as you need us."

She walked faster trying to get away from him. She didn't want to listen, she didn't want to change her mind. Rick had that way of getting under her skin. Suddenly she stopped short causing him to walk right into her. She seemed unaware of being jostled.

"Jesus, Mary, Joseph and a camel... Oh my god..." She gasped.

Danni almost collapsed when she saw it. The vision was at once completely familiar and totally foreign to her. The towers on each side of the sprawling concrete structure, chain link and barbed wire, enclosing the yards. It was miles in the distance but she felt the place physically pulling her. She'd been here several times, her dreams had all taken place inside of that structure. This was the cold, concrete and cinderblock world where she'd been so many times before. She'd knew she'd give birth there.

"What?" Rick asked.

She pointed at the prison in the distance over the tree line. "I know that place." She turned toward him. "There. We're supposed to go there. Rick, we'll be safe."

When he didn't answer she said.

"**All of us**. The group will be safe there."

Fear and doubt started to melt from her soul when she saw the prison.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

"I'm going to sound crazy right now."

"That supposed to surprise me?" Daryl asked.

She ignored him. "We're staying."

"You put me through all that and now..."

"Come here." She led him to the area she'd been with Rick and pointed to the prison.

"That's the place?"

She nodded. We've been there before.

"I gotta say something."

She looked up at him.

"You can't ask me to do that again, leave the group. I won't leave you but I won't leave them either. Don't ask me how that would work, but..."

"I know. I won't." Danni reached up and traced red slash on his cheek from Truly's knife. "I'll never freak out on you like that again. This is what we are supposed to be doing."

"What happened to you? Yesterday?" He had to ask her.

She didn't answer, so he went on. "You are the strongest girl I ever met, but sometimes you act like you don't know it."

"I'm just a person. I get scared, okay? Sometimes I feel like you don't want to know that about me; you expect me to be tough and strong all the time."

"I don't. I... you told me not not to suffocate you or be your watchdog."

"Not** all** the time. Sometimes I need my rottweiler."

"Sorry if I wasn't there enough yesterday."

"No, I get it. Its okay, its how you think. What's done is done. Its how you have to think to be so brave and so capable. You can't dwell, you push your mind ahead to the next thing immediately. I needed to hear all the stuff you said yesterday. I do get weak when I focus on what could have happened. I'm alive. That's all that matters. I'm starting to understand that you are pretty much a genius."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

They'd be leaving shortly, so Danni took what time she could and sat on the soft leaves by the dying fire, the sun reflecting off her hair giving it that blue sheen. Fionn rubbed his cheeks against her knee, she scritched his chin. She pulled out her Tarot cards not caring **who** saw. She breathed them in, shuffled and dipped. The Lovers. She nodded and opened the book, flipping to the page she needed.

_ Lovers represent perfection, harmony and mutual attraction. Their trust in one another gives them strength and confidence to overcome the obstacles in life. The bond that the two lovers created is incredibly strong and is often reflective of a marriage, soul mate connection or very intimate and close relationship._

_The Lovers can also indicate a very strong sexual connection that goes beyond instant gratification and lust to suggest a very deep desire and passion that exists between two beings. The physical attraction is strong and so too is the desire to be intimate with one another._

_On a more personal level, the Lovers card represents establishing a personal belief system and becoming clearer about your own values. This is a time when you are figuring out what you stand for. You are now ready to make up your own mind about what is and what is not important in life. _**_This is also a time when you need to stay true to yourself and be as authentic and genuine as possible._**

_When the Lovers card appears in a reading, your decisions or choices are incredibly important and significant so it is essential that you choose the right path. Often, it is the more difficult path that will bring you the greatest benefit_

_If you find yourself at a moral crossroads where you must choose between taking the moral high ground or the low ground, then you need to consider all consequences before acting. _**_The Lovers card highlights that your own value system is being challenged, and you must make a definite choice based on that system. _**_The choice of the Lovers is very much right or wrong because one of those options will almost certainly take you down a negative path. Thus, it is wise to seek higher guidance before making your final decision. You must be completely honest with yourself in the situation. Do not take things strictly on face value but deeply examine your motives, your feelings, your options and your personal values._

Danni knew the right choices to make. She'd been making them all along. Now she needed to regain her strength to continue. The way to do that was to face her fear._ Fuck the fear. _These people needed her and she needed them. She vowed never to lose focus again. She had too much to lose. _Fuck self sabotage. _She had her beliefs and her faith in her own abilities. Danni opened to a blank page in her journal and began writing:

_I will take the bricks thrown at me and make a solid foundation for my children and build a beautiful home out of the junk others throw away. I 'll understand that people make mistakes and humans are best at being human. I'll believe that whether someone loves or hates me really has nothing to do with me. I have the pride that even if I'm a human coloring book my Goddess reads my heart loud and clear and that we have an understanding that rises above the bullshit others may attempt heap on my shoulders. I will have pride that I took my will and determination, the only two things I ever really had, to change some unhealthy habits that held me back from truly experiencing love on a real level. I turned those unhealthy habits into spiritual sacrifices and now I'll try to feel love everywhere, every moment of every day. __Life is what I choose to make it. __Every tear on every face, tastes the same after all._

She felt it then, the tiniest bit of pressure from within her womb. The pushing sensation repeated itself three more times. Twice for each of them. "I love you too little troublemakers."

Danni hadn't noticed Carol until she sat beside her on the ground.

"Maybe you could do one for me some time." She referred to the cards.

"Sure. Any time. My Nana taught me. This is who I am."

They didn't need to say anything else about the Tarot. Carol accepted. Danni knew she'd accept it all.

"I'm sorry if I said anything wrong yesterday, I was really worried about you. What you went through was horrible and you did it for me." A tear escaped Carol's eye.

"You didn't say anything wrong." She said softly. "Thanks for taking care of me. And that other thing, saving your ass, please, it was a piece of cake. "

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

"Heading for this prison. What's your take?" Rick had pulled Daryl aside after Danni's announcement.

"We need to do it." Daryl was matter of fact. He knew Rick was waiting for more. He figured he'd just be honest.

"Look, Danni...knows things. Kinda' sees the future "

He squinted up at Rick waiting for a reaction.

"You're serious?"

"Yeah."

Rick considered what he'd just heard. Coming from anyone other than Daryl he'd think it was the ravings of a lunatic.

"So this prison thing..." Rick asked again.

"She's had a bunch of dreams about it. We're settled there or something. "

Rick still seemed unsure.

"We gotta do this. She's never wrong about this shit, I'm telling you. Besides what could be safer than prison; it locks you in but it also locks people out. "

Again, If Daryl believed in her, Rick would too.

"Prison it is. I'm estimating a two or three-day drive."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo

They'd been on the road for the entire day before finally stopping for shelter as evening drew near. The men cleared the abandoned house then the rest of the group entered. It was a sad sight. This place had been beautiful at one time. An example of southern rural architecture, a former plantation. Tall windows, detailed crown mouldings, finished dark hard wood floors and beautifully carved mantlepieces. Now the interior was trashed, looted, cluttered, dirty and dusty. A couple of large, empty, rusted ornate bird-cages caught Danni's eye and she almost tripped over the fallen bodies of two walkers at the bottom of the stairs as she followed Daryl to check out the second floor.

She trailed him silently. He slowly opened the first door they saw and they found themselves face to face with a large owl perched on the back of a chair in front of the window. Daryl immediately stopped and took perfect aim.

"Daryl. No!" Danni pushed the crossbow away from it s target." You can't kill an owl."

"We need to eat,** you** need to eat, "

"Its sacred, you can't." Her voice had an ominous tone, her eyes grew huge.

He reluctantly put the weapon down and stared at the bird shaking his head.

"It would bring bad luck on us. Curse level, I'm serious. But finding one is a good omen. This is important for us."

"I 'spose you're gonna tell me why?"

_"_In the Celtic tradition, the owl is known as cailleach-oidhche and she represents wisdom, stealth, initiation, change and detachment. She is clairvoyant and a seeker of deeper knowledge. She has great intuition and courage and she always follows her instincts. She is a bringer of hidden truth, omens, and secrets and she can help unmask those who wish to deceive you. Nan always said owls have magickal powers because they see in the dark."

She added, "So, let's go find you a possum or something."

"Possums an't worth worshiping I take it."

Danni felt a sense of power at meeting the owl. She stared into its large eyes for a moment longer. It gave her something. She could feel it; she felt courage.

"Hey," she grabbed his hand and put it on her belly under her hoodie.

He smiled and shook his head. It was so amazing that he could feel them now. Whenever they kicked, she'd do this- grab his hand and show him.

"That one must have hurt." He commented. The were getting stronger all the time.

She laughed a little, then hugged him. "Thanks. For the owl." She whispered in his ear.

They joined the others downstairs and made do with sharing canned beans for dinner.

After eating, Danni wandered the rooms of the first floor catching the last of the light. Fionn trotted behind her. Blood red velvet curtains, torn and covered with dust hung on the windows of what must have been a small sitting room. She sat on a settee matching the curtains in color. The cat leapt on her lap as she opened the drawer of the small table beside and found a cigar box. Inside were tintypes those old photographs from th 19th century. They were faded, edges curled some almost torn. Black and white faces of a family in Victorian garb, heavy black dresses on the women, the men in soldier's uniforms. Confederate soldiers. The eyes in these photos burned; looked so alive.

"Why are you crying?" Sophia walked in to the room.

"I'm not, bug."

"Not you Danni, her." Sophia pointed behind the couch, but when Danni turned, no one was there. Strange.

"Who are you talking about?"

"The beautiful lady. She's crying, but its like she can't hear me, she won't answer me."

Danni felt true shivers race up her spine and the back of her neck tingled. "Is she still here?"

"No, she left. I think she was trying to talk to you, but you didn't pay attention to her."

Danni didn't want to alarm Sophia, so she didn't tell her she hadn't seen the lady.

She closed the cigar box on her lap, but couldn't return it to the drawer. Something made her take it with her.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 

Night fell and everyone found a place to lay down and attempt to get comfortable in the living room.

_Sleeping on floors again._ Before closing her eyes, Danni noticed Glenn and Maggie sneaking upstairs. She smiled. Fionn was purring beside her head. Tomorrow she'd ask Sophia more about what she'd seen. Was she channeling? Danni hadn't ever been able to do that. It was pretty rare. Maybe Sophia was just playing a game.

After a couple of hours, Daryl traded watch shifts with T Dog. When he lay down next to Danni, she began talking to him, but he had no idea about what.

_"For let me say that your memory is ever dear to me and if we never again meet on Earth I shall ever Cherish the fond remembrance of Thee but indulge the hope that we may again meet ere long in the next."_

"What the hell are you goin on about?" He whispered not wanting to wake anyone else.

_"I cannot yet see much sign of the war closing but I always try to hope for the Best._

_I suppose You was a thousand times glad to welcome the returns of your soldier Brothers." _

He shook her shoulder then and her eyes opened. "What? Why did you do that? Something going on?" She sat up ready.

"Nothing, but what were you talking about? "

"I wasn't, I was sleeping and I hate you for waking me up." She put her arm over her eyes.

"Well you were going on about something, a poem or something."

She hadn't even been dreaming. She'd never had the habit of talking in her sleep before.

"Weird." She pressed against him relieved at not having to share him at that moment, knowing another hectic day would follow.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooo

_Chickamauga or "Stream of Death." Alas! every victory, as well as every defeat, brings sorrow and distress to many hearts."Dear Mother: Don't grieve about me. If I get killed, I'll only be dead._

The words were in Danni's mind when she opened her eyes in the morning. She was staring at the ceiling trying to get her bearings when the phrase ran through her head. She had no idea what it meant.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

They scavenged what they could from the house, blankets and comforters mostly; Danni had begun gathering bedding and any kind of fabric she could find preparing for the babies. There was nothing of any real use of value left.

The prison was only about half a day's journey according to Rick's calculations. They'd be there today.

Walker State Prison. The irony was not lost on a single one of them.

He had a map spread out on the hood of Maggie's car. We'll take this route. Prison's right in Walker County outside Chickemauga."

"What did you say?" Danni asked.

"Walker County? Chickemauga?" Rick repeated.

What is that? Chickemauga?" Danni asked.

"Civil war battle there. Chickemauga is a Cherokee word means river of death." Daryl explained repeating the strange word in her head this morning.

"We won that one." He added. Rick nodded. All good southern boys knew their Civil war battles.

"Could it be stream of death?" She asked him.

"Spose, depends on who's translating."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooo

Daryl and Rick left the others on the road to canvas the prison just yards away down the bluff. They stared at the sprawling buildings, completely fenced in. Once the Walkers were cleared from the yard, it could be theirs.

"Danni was right." Rick said. "This could work."

"Told you." Daryl said over his shoulder.

"What else does she know? I could get used to this."

Daryl shrugged, feeling some pride.

"Hey," Rick asked. "Do you remember what you did the first time you saw me?"

Daryl shook his head."Nah."

"You threw a bunch of dead squirrels at me."

"Sounds about right. Remember the first thing you ever said to me?"

"What was that?"

"I handcuffed your brother to a roof."

_Time flies._


	34. You Watched Me Die

**_He kept her picture in his pocket that was closest to his heart_**

**_And when he hit shore _**

**_It must have been a target _**

**_For the gun-men _**

**_There were stars in the sky _**

**_There were bunkers on the hill _**

**_And there were caskets to fill where he would lie _**

**_Shrouded in the red, white & blue with the stripes_**

**_-Whiskeytown_**

A cold, crisp, bright night sky illuminated the prison from above. It looked like a fortress to Danni, reminding her of the story of Fionn and Sadhbh. She had hoped to find her own safe haven like Fionn's castle Almu. Her dreams had brought them here and to think she'd almost walked away from it all. She chewed on a strand of hair, the evening breeze had blown across her face while she looked at the looming sprawl of the gray cement building through the chain link fence that Rick was examining. This was his fourth time around the perimeter of the prison yard. If there was a compromise he'd had found it by now. He deserved her trust and any help she could give him. The earth was soft under her boots, their buckles flashing in the moonlight, as she tread silently, some blades of grass crunchy with the first night frost.

She startled him, approaching from the shadows. He turned on her, his knife out.

"Sorry." He apologized. "What are you doing over here?" He glanced behind her at the rest of the group back in the middle of the yard around a large fire.

"Rick, this, what you've done...all of it I don't know what to say."

Words of gratitude tumbled from her lips. Under Rick's tireless and specific instruction the group had spent the day clearing the entire outer yard of the prison of all Walkers and secured the fencing. They were exhausted but they were safe for the first time in over a week.

"We did it. All of us."

"It'll be a good place to have the babies."

He raised his eyebrow.

"Its twins."

"How do..."

"I know Daryl told you about me, what I can do. What I am."

Rick nodded understanding. "Well, two, that's..."

"A lot. I know. That's why all of this is so important."

"I'm glad Daryl told me. You are as much a part of us being here safe now as me or anyone else. We wouldn't be **here**. I thank **you** for that."

"Only Glenn, Maggie and Carol know. Not sure how the rest of the group will take it."

He nodded. "I have a feeling you're gonna be able to help us more than you know now. If this is any indication." He gestured to the safe space around them. "What about going inside, that's where you saw us right?"

"Yes, in a cell block. And some other places a boiler room um...the concrete yard..."

"We had supplies?"

"Food anyway, yeah, we were eating fine."

"We push on in then. Tomorrow."

"Look Rick, I'm sorry about last week. I never stopped trusting you, it was myself I started to doubt. Back on the side of the road, I got scared. The things you were saying about being together and building a life with each other just spooked me. Like a horse I guess. I've been known to run."

She shook her head. "And Carol thanking me for saving her and finding Sophia, it really sunk in and I ...I'm not used to people caring about each other and asking for help. Its hard, I've always been on my own."

"Like Daryl? I reckon that's why you two are together."

"I think we're kind of the same in that giving help is one thing but asking for it ...its hard. Feeling like you need somebody else, worrying that they'll let you down or say no...that's what we are used to. Being needed is pretty scary too, I guess. But he's actually showing me I can do it. I'm really sorry I acted the way I did."

"We all get scared. Hell, half the time I don't know what I'm doing, but I know we as group matter. I'm able to keep going knowing that." Rick focused his eyes on her after he'd glanced at the circle of folks he was responsible for, now laughing, talking and relaxing around the light of the leaping fire.

"Danni, you and Daryl help me and whether you two want to hear it or know it, you do. That's just the truth. I need you both. You promised me way back you would be here. Time to pay up."

She almost smiled. "You're right. Paying in full, okay?"

"How are you feeling, physically and all?"

"Okay. Better now that we're here."

"So where are you now?"

"Just about four months. Yeah, wow its four this week."

He nodded. You're a strong girl, you know that? You're carrying all this well."

She swallowed hard and accepted his words as graciously as she could.

"Thank you. That means a lot, coming from you."

Compliments were still hard to take. But she knew Rick wouldn't say something he didn't mean. She felt some pride battling its way out of the discomfort because she was starting to believe. Believing in herself was almost easier than accepting that others believed in her.

"I admit, I didn't know what to make of you at first." Rick interrupted her thoughts.

"I can't tell you how many times I've heard that." Danni sighed and shook her head, but Rick noticed her smiling warmly in the shadows.

"That day back in Atlanta, rescuing Glenn, well, you held your own, and risked your life out of loyalty to him. I started to get a feeling about you. And then at the CDC, well...you know how I feel about that."

"Shut up or I'll start crying." She warned, only half-joking. "I always pay what I owe, Rick."

They headed back to the center of the yard where the rest of the group sat around the fire eating.

Danni noticed Daryl was still on the roof of the prison transport bus, that barricaded the front inner gate. He'd been there since the sun had set, just staring out at the horizon. She felt he needed his space and had left him alone. He'd worked harder than anyone all day, clearing out the geeks.

She took a plate of food Carol had put aside for him and headed up the dirt driveway. She climbed the wooden pallets he'd leaned against the bus making a ramp, then on to the hood.

He saw her and held his hand out pulling her the rest of the way up.

"Here eat this. It's not much but If I don't bring you something you won't eat at all."

He shook his head. "You."

"I ate enough." She stared hard at him the way she did, so he took it from her.

"This will be a good place to have the babies. Safe."

Daryl nodded, "Mmm hmm," his mouth full. He looked encouraged. Danni knew that the long day of clearing the yard and securing the fences had given him a sense of accomplishment. After something like that he always seemed more calm and relaxed than at any other time, well almost any other time. As he finished the food, he licked his fingers and all she could think about was him licking something else.

"Wanna fuck?"

He huffed and laughed a little nervously. "Crazy? Here?"

"It would be fun. If we lay down, on no one can see us."

He didn't answer.

"Somewhere else then, the guard tower."

"Not a good time, you know it. Look around."

"I am, Glenn and Maggie already did up there." She pointed to a tower.

"So just cause they're stupid and careless don't mean we have to be."

"Is it the babies? I know I'm a little bigger now but its fine. I got this book when we were at the library and there's no way you could hurt them, the cervix is very strong and covers ..."

"Aw jeez don't tell me stuff like that."

"What's going on? You haven't touched me since, since the woods last week. Next couple months you might not want to."

"Shut up." He scolded her. "Know better than that."

"Well?"

"I can't just go disappearing on Rick."

"Is that really why? Because if that's the reason okay. I respect that. But I don't believe you."

He looked troubled. The dream had begun to haunt him ever since he realized it had taken place in the prison, the very place they were headed. Now they were here.

"Hey, baby, what's really wrong?"

When she called him that, her voice so low with concern, he was almost forced to let his guard down.

He sat, she joined him. It was chilly, up on the bus, so she pulled on her hood, letting her hair spill forward framing her face. She leaned forward, sitting cross-legged listening intently

"I ...this is hard. The night we had that fight, I had this dream." He stopped. "Ah, fuck it. Never mind. Just forget it, its nothin'."

"Obviously it's not." She touched his arm, then casually played with the zipper on the wrist of his leather jacket.

He shifted, extremely uncomfortable.

"Just say it."

"We were here, in the prison. I forced you to...you know, to... from behind." She could hardly hear him. He spoke low and gravelled and he couldn't get the real words out. "You kept saying no and I didn't stop. You were cryin' and I didn't stop. I know what happened to you when you were a kid and I still kept goin'; I wanted to hurt you."

"That's why you kept asking me if it was okay, the other night." She realized aloud.

He started to feel queasy just thinking about it. "Something else. Merle, he was there watching and was proud of me, saying told you so or something." Daryl was still upset. "Hate that."

"It was just a dream."

"Dreams aint the same now. Not since you."

"It doesn't just stop, or disappear." She told him softly. "What you saw, what you were taught. How you grew up." _Broken, abused, neglected; like me._ "I don't know but I can guess. It's like that for me too. Time doesn't do the healing,** we** do. We're gonna get freaked out sometimes, but it doesn't mean I'm going anywhere. You?"

He shook his head. He looked at her wanting to cry. _Pussy. _He chided himself. No one ever said anything like that to him. No one had ever stayed around, stuck with him and she was** still** doing it. He should be used to it by now, but old habits die hard. _I'm not going anywhere. _She'd said it even after what he'd told her.

"What if it's in me?" He looked sad, almost wounded.

_He is much better than he thinks he is. _

She asked some questions to see how realistic the dream actually was.

"Was I pregnant?"

"No."

"Were the babies there? Were they already born?"

"No. Don't think so."

"Sometimes dreams are just dreams."

"Why though?" He was so earnest and upset, she had to stroke his face.

"You were pissed at me, don't blame you. I was... I was horrible to you that night." Shame still burned in her chest at the memory of how she'd treated him.

"Sometimes you dream about something that scares you unconsciously to work it out. I know you would never hurt me or force me. Besides, I don't know I how acted in that dream of yours, but I obviously didn't fight back and as much as I love you I'd try to kill you."

He smiled a little. "I'm a hell of a lot stronger than you."

"You **really **wanna go there, **now**?"

He looked down considering what he'd just told her and swallowed his smile. "Nah, I know. You wouldn't have stood for it." He said quickly.

"Look, I'm gonna tell you something. This, what we have...not just sex...all of it, has never been so easy for me with anyone else. You've never once scared me."

He couldn't look at her, feeling a little awkward.

"I don't...don't know what you think about me...but I didn't act like this with any other guy ever; the way I am with you, what I let you do. I let go of all control; no one has ever made me feel so wanted and safe at the same time. I trust you. I'd know if you were...well, a misogynist asshole. I've come across plenty. You're not."

She hoped she was making sense. "You always make it about me. You told me that when you make me cum you feel like a man. Remember? **That's** who you are."

He continued to avoid eye contact.

"Daryl trust yourself. You are not like Merle and I know that 's what you're afraid of. I bet you saw some shit, heard a lot of stuff from him, and his friends too, probably. He expected things from you didn't he?"

He ran a hand through his hair nervously. She was surprised when he started talking.

"There was this house, not too far from our trailer. Merle hung out there with his prison buddies, Aryan brotherhood mostly. He'd take me along. Those guys all short on brains long on shit kicking. Didn't want to go, but he'd...it was easier than listening to him go on about what a pussy I was all the time. I guess I wanted to show him I was as tough as him. The drinking, fighting, target practice, even all the racist bullshit those losers went off about, I just put up with it so Merle would keep acting like he liked having me around. " His voice lowered as he continued struggling with shame.

"Danni, there were these girls that were always there at the house. Them girls let the pricks...the stuff those assholes did to them...but the girls they took it, put up with it like it was normal. I never..." He shook his head and chewed hard on the raw cuticle around his thumbnail.

"One night Merle was drunk, on crystal and God knows what else. He made me go and watch the ...well gang rape is what it was. He told me if I didn't get in there and take my turn with his buddies he was gonna beat the shit out of me for embarrassing him in front of his friends. But I wouldn't. Told him I didn't care what he did and left. He did he beat the living shit out of me. But I couldn't. Merle said girls liked it that way, its how she wanted it." He paused and swallowed hard. "Danni she was scared. I saw her eyes. I wanted to help her, get her out of there."

"**That's** who you are." Her gut clenched, hearing shame in his voice where there should have been pride, seeing doubt on his face where there should have been resolve in his own values.

She motioned for him to lay down. She took his head and rested it on her lap. She stroked his hair and said "I admire you for standing up to Merle."

"He beat the crap out of me." He reminded her.

"Even more then. I'm glad you told me." It was huge for him to talk about any of this; he was opening up so much more lately. "About everything. It was just a dream."

He nodded, feeling a mixture of relief and discomfort at his admissions.

"I don't want to lose that part of us ever. The physical part." She said.

"Won't." He assured her.

He was having a hard time keeping firm eye contact, so she looked up and pointed. "See it?" She asked.

"The Thunderbird right?"

"The Phoenix."

"Plains Indians called it Thunderbird, but yeah I guess it's the same thing. Must be November."

The Phoenix constellation was bright and unmistakable above them.

"The Phoenix means its time for you to be reborn in mind, body and spirit, to throw off your old life in order to face what's ahead. You rise stronger and more beautiful from the ashes of your old self. " Danni echoed what Nana Brigid had told her. "It's about healing and getting stronger."

He listened, liking when she went off about stuff like this.

"The Phoenix, manifests the eternal cycle of time and existence, symbolising the importance of old endings and new beginnings_," with the extra element of starting each rebirth at a higher level. _She remembered what Stephen had always said about it.

"I had a friend who used to say that the Phoenix was about reincarnation, actually dying and your soul coming back as something or someones else. He was buddhist."

"You believe in that? Coming back after you die?" He asked.

"I don't know. I believe in a lot of things because I've seen them and I know they work or happen. But reincarnation? Still don't know about that one yet. You?"

"Dead is dead." He caught himself realizing what he'd said. "Well it used to be. But, nah, I don't think you die and come back as a damn house fly or some shit like that."

After a little more time had passed, he stated, "Better get back."

"Thanks for telling me that stuff." She said, feeling like he needed to know how much it meant to her. He pretended not to hear.

They stood and looked at the stars for a minute longer before he started to climb off. He turned to help her, saying, "I'll go down first."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Stop." He smirked.

They walked slowly, on their way to join the rest of the group around the fire.

Herschel and T Dog were talking about how to divert water from the streams coming from the river to offer their own irrigation system for fresh water. Herschel added the idea of planting a vegetable garden. "Tomatoes, cucumbers, whatever is in season."

After she and Daryl sat beside them, Herschel looked over and mentioned "Danni, I never did get that song from you."

"Now?" She looked around.

"Why not?" Glenn asked.

"Please Danni?" Sophia chimed in.

"Well, lately I've remembered a lot of songs my Nan from Ireland taught me."

"Would you know Paddy Reilly?" Herschel asked enthused.

"Actually yeah."

"We love that one, our mom used to sing it." Maggie said looking at Beth.

Danni had to think for a minute to get the melody and tune right. She cleared her throat and smiled a little. It was funny how the words were in her head as clearly now as when she was a kid.

_The garden of Eden has vanished they say_

_But I know the lie of it still_

_Just turn to the left at the bridge of Finea_

_And stop when half way to Coote Hill_

_'Tis there I will find it I know sure enough_

_When fortune has come to my call_

_Oh, the grass it is green_

_Around Ballyjamesduff_

_And the blue sky is over it all_

_And tones that are tender and tones that are gruff_

_Are whispering over the sea_

_"Come back Paddy Reilly to Ballyjamesduff_

_Come home Paddy Reilly to me"_

_My mother once told me that when I was born_

_The day that I first saw the light_

_I looked down the street on that very frist morn_

_And gave a great crow of delight_

_Now most newborn babies appear in a huff_

_And start with a sorrowful squall_

_But I knew I was born in Ballyjamesduff_

_And that's why I smile on them all_

_The baby's a man now, he's toil-worn and tough_

_Still whispers come over the sea_

_"Come back Paddy Reilly to Ballyjamesduff_

_Come home Paddy Reilly to me"_

Daryl felt chills when she sang. Her voice was her own: raw, hazy, cracking; sometimes smooth always sweet and husky, melodic and expressive of emotion from deep within. The sound was so beautiful to him that he wanted to hold her but instead just moved closer so his shoulder touched hers. She noticed. His small gestures were more important to her than his larger ones.

"Thank you." Herschel spoke for everyone. "That was wonderful."

"I'm sure you wife sang it beautifully."

"Yes, she did." Herschel's eyes we cloudy.

After a few minutes, Rick broke the silence.

"Look I know we're all exhausted, this was a great win, but we gotta push a little bit more." Rick snuck a look over at Danni she caught it and who nodded at him.

"Looks like this place fell pretty early, most of the Walkers are dressed as prisoners, guards." He went on. "That could mean the supplies may be in tact."

"They are." Danni said.

If her words surprised anyone they didn't let on.

"They'd have an infirmary, commissary." Rick explained.

"Armory." Daryl added.

"Yes, in a separate building outside the prison. Not too far away, warden's office will have intel on the location of all that." Rick's voice became louder. "Weapons, food medicine."

He looked at Danni again, trying to assure her that he'd found her a place to have the babies. "Could be a goldmine."

"We're dangerously low on ammo. We'll run out before we can make a dent." Herschel commented.

"That's why we go in hand to hand. After all we been through, we can handle this. I know it."

"These assholes don't stand a chance." Daryl backed Rick up.

Danni looked around at the unhappy expressions around her.

"I appreciate, we appreciate everything you're doing but its been a tough march and we're exhausted." Lori's voice pleaded. "Can't we just enjoy this for a few days?"

"There's no time for a picnic." Rick countered.

"That's not what I'm saying." The tension was thick between them. Lori pointed at Danni, "She needs to settle for a bit, get herself in order."

"What do you think I'm trying to do?"

Danni felt on the spot. and said, "Why take the easy way out now? C'mon one more hard day and then we can all sleep for a week."

Rick looked back gratefully.

Daryl let the air hiss between his teeth and spit to the side. "She's right, we can do this."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

The next morning Danni didn't argue with Daryl and Rick when they told her she couldn't help with the move inside. She was able to put pride aside and see reality. It was too dangerous. Maybe not four or five months ago, but now. Accept it.

Daryl meant it when he said he'd miss her help. He trusted her to back him up and work just as hard he did. Still, he felt with Glenn, T-Dog, Rick and Maggie, they'd manage.

Danni knew better than to tell him to be careful so she just said, "Hurry up."

She caught him half smiling at her usual sentiment as he turned away. Inside she willed protection on him, on all of them.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo

The nights were chilly and left frost on the ground and plants, but the days were mild; the sun higher but still strong. Danni sat with Beth and Sophia on a soft patch of grass in the yard cutting up old towels, and scraps of material into the perfect size for diapers. It was a good activity to take their mind off of the battle going on inside the prison.

Danni had confessed to everyone she was having twins. No one questioned her or seemed to think it was odd. Lori chalked it up to a mother's intuition and she was pretty much right about that.

"I bet you can still get disposable diapers somewhere. Maybe a run to a Walmart or something? I know all the stores have been looted but you never know what you might find." Beth suggested.

"I hope you're right. I want to do that soon and get whatever I can-disposable diapers, baby clothing, and bottles if I can find a breast pump." Carol had been schooling Danni in what she'd need once the troublemakers arrived. Lori mentioned the breast pump, so she wouldn't be tied down so much. She winced at the thought. In fact all of this was so unreal-thinking about that stuff, saying it out loud, but she was going to be **a mother.** Carol and Lori were making lists, cooing over her, reminiscing about their own experiences and actually enjoying themselves. They had an enormous amount of wisdom to pass on to her.

"The disposable things won't be available forever, so I'm going to make sure I have enough cloth diapers. Carol freaked me out telling me how much changing I'll have to do with two babies at once."

"You forgot toys." Sophia chided her.

"Oh, well, yeah, tons of toys."

Sophia smiled.

"Don't worry so much, you'll have plenty of help. I'm real good with babies." Beth assured her.

Danni realized how lucky she was. Between Beth and Carol, Lori and Maggie she'd have plenty of female support. What was that saying, 'it takes a village'? Danni realized this was the way babies and kids were raised as Travellers. Everyone in the clan helps out. She felt Brigid's guiding hand again and almost teared up. She was reclaiming who she was born to be.

"Everything all right?" Beth asked Danni who suddenly looked a little concerned.

"Yeah, It's just the babies haven't moved in a while. I used to feel something every day, but I'm sure they're fine. Probably as tired as I am."

Suddenly Andrea approached overhearing the conversation.

"What if they stillborn? What if they are dead inside you right now?"

Danni had never considered that possibility.

"Stop." Beth was upset. Sophia looked like she was going to cry.

"What is your problem?" Danni was getting angry. "She's eight, watch it." She motioned to Sophia.

"Okay. Then let's say they live and you die during childbirth."

Beth hustled Sophia away.

"That's not going to happen".

"Why not? How many women died in childbirth before modern medicine?"

"How many didn't? Women did this for thousand of years and were fine. "_ There's other kinds of medicine_

"I just think you need to be realistic. I've seen you acting like it's all fun and games, like you're waiting for your baby shower and everything is going to be perfect. It's not realistic."

"Fun and games?" Danni's voice rose. "You know what, I don't need you worrying about the way I think. Its none of your business." She stood up. "Andrea, stay away from me."

Danni trotted over to Beth and Sophia who'd moved a few yards a way. "Sorry hun."

"They aren't going to die." Sophia said. "Why is Andrea so mean sometimes?"

"I swear it's because she's bored or something." Danni had to admit. Where was this malice coming from now?

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

It was close to dusk when Rick finally led everyone to the secure cell block.

"Home, sweet, home." Glenn announced as the group straggled into the dusty, stale gray cinderblock expanse, carrying everything they owned.

"For the time being." Rick added.

"It's safe?" Lori asked scoping out the sizable living space.

"This cell block is. One block for now, then slowly clear the rest of the wing."

"What about the rest of the prison?" Herschel asked.

"In the morning, we'll find the cafeteria and infirmary." Rick explained.

"We'll sleep in the cells?" Carol asked, not as put off as she thought she'd be. Having a bed and being inside a safe structure had its appeal. It also offered some privacy.

Rick nodded. "I found keys on some guards. Daryl has a set too."

Daryl nodded then said "But I aint sleeping in no cage. I'll take the... "

He stopped when Danni kicked him. "We'll take the perch." He pointed to the second floor guard's station at the top of the stairs. "C'mon." He said.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Daryl pulled two mattresses from the nearest cell and laid them side by side in the rear corner. They unloaded their back packs realizing how little they had, but at the same time how much.

Danni spread a couple of blankets she'd taken from the last house they'd stayed at neatly over the mattresses. She'd found a couple of plastic milk crates which she put on either side of the bed like night stands, for books and candles making a home anywhere she could.

He watched her for a minute amused and impressed with her precision and talent at putting things together, making spaces work. He then tossed his zippo lighter over before she had to ask. She caught it and lit the candles then threw it back to him. They sat at opposite ends of the mattress, stealing looks at each other in the flickering amber light.

She noticed how Daryl's endearing childish behavior seemed never to truly leave him. He was so hard and tough one minute, the next just a kid. She observed him fiddling with an arrow and she looked around to see he'd arranged his stuff on the railings and window sills like kid's hideout. He noticed her smiling at him.

"What?"

She shook her head.

She took the cigar box from her pack and opened it, casually flipping through the tintypes, again struck by the eyes burning through as if they were alive in the pictures. Soldiers and families. There was one picture in particular she felt it hard to look away from. A beautiful woman with dark hair and almost modern features. Her eyes were pleading, asking for something. A widow's dress. The photo left Danni unsettled as she returned it to the box. She closed it and placed it on the crate beside her tarot cards.

She slid closer to him and began to slowly and methodically run her hands over his arms and shoulders. "Here, let me see."

"What you doing?" He put the arrow down.

"Checking for scratches."

"That all?"

"Well it was, but..." She unbuttoned his shirt and let it fall from his shoulders.

Danni looked around at the cinderblock walls and up at the ceiling peeling paint and felt the thin lumpy mattress beneath her. Gray colorless place.

Daryl touched her hair. "Gettin' really long." He stroked the loose strands against her cheek. She pulled out her ponytail and shook the raven locks over her shoulders tickling his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair twisting and pulling gently.

A chill moved up her spine. She knew what she would say next because she'd said it in her dream.

"Yours too."

She pushed aside the bangs of his shaggy brown hair, darkening with length, time and seasons. She moved on his lap as she did in the very first dream she'd ever had about him.

"Would you kiss me?"

"You don't gotta ask." His voice was low.

"Neither do you." she smiled a little. _I think I do _was what she'd said originally.

She tilted her head to encourage him. She'd done it all before. Her fingers came to rest lightly at the base of his neck, and she drew his face closer to her own. She softly bit his lower lip.

She smelled a familiar scent she couldn't quite place. Floral like jasmine, heavy like thick cream, sweet like orange blossom and honey; earthy like rich wet soil. It seemed to fill the entire second floor area. It made her feel a little light-headed. Or maybe it was his kiss.

"We've been here before." She whispered. His face was rough and his mouth hungry for hers. He ran his hands up her back under her shirt. They were fated.

"Hey..." she objected softly as he suddenly stopped kissing her.

But, he just stopped to move his mouth to her neck.

This was where she'd woken up, her panties soaked. She wasn't asleep this time, she was very much awake. He moved her off of his lap and lay her down on her back. He pushed her shirt up slightly, then leaned over, kissing the sparrows while gently pulling her leggings down, looking up to see her small encouraging smile.

"What are you doing?"

"Told you I'd go down first."

He licked her navel ring, tonguing with long strokes over her rounder belly making her sigh and catch her breath. As his mouth moved lower she undulated under his lips almost giggling then bit down on her thumb as her breath came faster and she arched her back. His fingers met no resistance when they slid knuckle-deep into her.  
"Oh, God..." she gasped, sitting up. He'd never done that before. "How did...where did you..." She lay back down before she fainted, overcome as his fingers joined his lips and tongue as they worked industriously towards their shared goal – to get her off.

"Makes sense, that's all." He looked up, answering her. She pushed his head back down. He had learned with her, practiced on her and knew what worked for her so well that trying something new was easy for him. He liked surprising her.

She started to grind against his hand and mouth to extract more satisfaction. The scruffy stubble peppered on his cheeks tickled her inner thighs with every flex of her hips, giving way to a host of strained, throaty giggles as she continued to rock back and forth.

She knew she was only partly responsible for the origins of his oral talents. He had to have natural ability that only needed her patient tutoring and encouragement to come forward. There could be no other explanation for how good he was so soon.  
His fingers repeatedly nudged her most sensitive area inside; that, coupled with some well-aimed flicks of the tongue against her hardened clit, sent shockwaves through her body.  
"Yeah, yes, yes," she chanted, rocketing towards the most intense climax he'd ever coaxed from her body. "I can't…I can't believe you're going to make me cum so fast," she panted. Stars glittered behind her eyes and she started to convulse. Daryl's fingers jerked in and out of her slippery opening like they were on a never-ending loop. His tongue, which must have been tiring from its strenuous but short-lived workout, continued to lap at her with lightning strokes.

" I'm...its now...fuuuuuuck!"

All of her toes curled inwards and her hands clawed at the mattress, grabbing two giant fistfuls of the soft fabric as her body experienced wave upon wave of violent tremors. Pure contentment ebbed through every artery, her blood delivering the blissful sensations to her brain like a powerful narcotic.

Eventually, Danni unclenched her thighs from around his head and flopped to the mattress like a rag doll. Much to her disbelief he was already on the prowl. Daryl embarked upon a slow journey, kissing and licking his way across the barren terrain of her curvy tummy. Chaste kisses marked his pathway up her body, and upon arriving at the hemline of her t-shirt he hooked both sets of fingers on either side of her hips and eased the silky material up her body until it was rucked underneath her armpits, leaving her breasts exposed.

She felt something chemical between them. Daryl's success rate at coaxing her body into submission was at one hundred percent. It was impossible for her to reject him.

"Are ...you trying to prove... something?" She managed to stammer.

She released her handfuls of blanket and combed her newly freed fingers through his hair. "You're obsessed," she sighed.

"You wouldn't be complaining now, would you?" He teased, coming to a halt at the base of her left breast.

"Nope."

"Sounded like a complaint."

"If there's only one complaint I have, it's that you don't fuck me enough." She purred. She loved using curse words, because she was aware of how much it turned him on.

"That right?"

"Yup. You never give me the attention I deserve."

"Hell would you call what I just did?"

"Too little too late?"

"You're gonna get it now."

Danni grabbed his right hand and crammed it between her legs. "Bring it on." She demanded. "Get me off as fast as you can."

The next three minutes were a blur.

Daryl force-fed her pussy two of his fingers, jamming them completely into her with uncommonly rough strokes. When filled to the knuckles, his fingers would jerk inside her and nudge her g-spot, while his thumb would simultaneously grind against the hard nub of her clit. This alone would have made her climax in record time, but he upped the ante by groping one of her breasts with his free hand as he attended to the other with his mouth. He sucked on her erect nipple, switching between biting softly and massaging it tenderly with his tongue. It was like her nipples had a direct line to her clit and before long her toes were performing their trademark curl and her fingers were raking the mattress. The onslaught of pleasure was so swift and intense that her throat closed up, giving voice a raspy moan that fell from her trembling lips in periodic bursts.  
"Are you?" Daryl asked.  
"Y-yes."  
Like with the orgasm he'd induced not five minutes earlier, every muscle in Danni's body went taut and she subsequently experienced a full-scale meltdown. Husky, foul-mouthed cries came forth from her throat. She kept going as the excruciatingly sweet, aching heat surged over and over. He finally had to put his hand over her mouth to muffle her tirade. He wanted to listen and laugh but felt self-conscious about anyone hearing them.

Love and lust had become so intricately intertwined that one couldn't be distinguished from the other.

A feverish flush raged its own external war, blanketing her skin with a dizzying degree of warmth. His fingers were still moving around inside her, and she was so sensitive down there that his touch became intolerable.

"Stop, Daryl. Please, it's too much," she whimpered, lacking the energy to lift her arms and slap his hand away.

The hand disappeared from between her thighs as soon as the shaky words left her lips. Likewise, his mouth ceased stimulating her breasts, and when she turned her head to the side she found Daryl's sombre face inches from her own.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked.

"No, baby, it was just too good, too much for me, Okay?"

His expression, almost emulating that of when he imparted the his dream her, morphed from a bleak countenance to one of relief and pride, and he returned his hand to what it had been doing, ignoring her protests.

"You bastard, shit..." She kept on, but he wouldn't stop. "Please...fuuuuck!" After two more obvious powerful climaxes, he finally let her collapse, all muscles spent.

"Did you?" Daryl asked.  
"Uh huh." She nodded more than spoke. _Four times.  
_The way she clung to him shaking and breathing unevenly, indicated she was in no place for anything else at that moment. Still she moved her hand to his crotch, "Now you, baby..."

He shook his head. "Later. Plenty of time."

Their attraction soared beyond the physical, which helped lay to rest any unsettling insecurities that had remained at some level since the early stages of their connection. They worshipped each other with a measure of diligence only found when two people commit with not only their bodies but also their minds, hearts and souls; it was abundantly clear that they loved each other.

He stroked the side of her face and she kissed him; a kiss filled with so much love and affection that it could lighten the darkest of hearts.

They made out for what felt like an eternity. Soft lips, warm breath, and wet tongues were shared with the tender massaging of each other's faces and necks. Danni was still wondering how he knew what to do? How the hell had he done that to her? She'd never shown him. He hit every spot. _Is he reading a book or something? Shit. Fast learner._

Cold air passed through her right down to her core interrupting her thoughts. Danni swore they weren't alone. She felt eyes on her. She propped herself up on her elbow and scanned the room flickering warmly in the candlelight, but no one was there. She did notice, however, the flames were jumping extraordinarily high indicating the presence of a spirit. She knew that spiritual entities drew candle flames up, extracting oxygen, making them leap and stretch. She felt something watching them.

"What?"

"Nothing." She said laying back down. She didn't want to alarm him; besides, she didn't feel any negativity.

After a while he admitted, "Merle took me to a hooker on my sixteenth birthday."

Danni couldn't help but laugh. She caught herself. "I'm sorry, that's awful. But what a fucking stereotype. Like a bad movie. I'm sooo sorry." She kissed his cheek.

He finally saw how ridiculous it was. All the years of pain and shame from the incident started to melt away when he saw it through her eyes.

"You didn't though right?"

"No, I told you, you..."

"Good. I'm the lucky one who got you first." She paused, then added. "Do you even **know** how good you are?" She had a feeling he didn't. He shrugged almost shyly, his face against her neck.

"Tonight..."

"Shit." He said almost laughing.

"What?"

"Merle would kick my ass for eating at the Y all night. That's what he'd call it. Always telling me only pussies eat pussy."

"Fuck him. Guys like Merle won't go down on a woman because they are afraid that they don't know how to do it right."

"Well he don't and that's a fact." It felt good saying that.

"Some guys are only interested in themselves. They won't do something just to make the girl feel good."

"Don't know what they're missing."

She held him. "You are your own person. Don't forget it."

"Merle'd say I'm your bitch now."

She pulled herself on top of him and reached between his legs. "Okay, bitch then fuck me. Your turn. No excuses."

"Yes ma'am."

_God I love her._

Gardenia. That's what it was, gardenia flowers. She smelled it again. Everywhere.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo

She felt almost high from last night. _ I want him all the time, and this is why. He turned me into a sex junky, unable to go a single day without receiving a fix. _

"Oh that sounds sooo bad, so cheesy._" _She whispered to herself and almost laughed at her ridiculous description, as she wrote the words in her journal. But it was true. Whatever he had tried to prove last night, he did; no argument from her. He had given her an exhilarating calm that took every ounce of stress and worry from her the way he always could. She scratched out the phrase. "Just bad."

She lay beside him, watching him sleep deeply, a luxury he rarely afforded himself. He'd been opening up so much lately. He'd confessed his dream and even told her something of his past. She turned on her side and began to write. Write what she saw and how she saw him. He'd hate that she was doing it. She smiled.

Before she put the pen to paper, Danni again felt a presence; air moving when it wasn't supposed to. She looked around in the early morning light, pale sun streaming through the barred windows, shadows striping the floor. They were alone, but still, she felt like someone was watching her as she watched him.

His face was peaceful, relaxed, actually calm. His features combined to convey so many raw emotions. Like a kid's story book. But only for her. She started to write.

_Only I can open the pages and find them easy to read. I can understand a look, a glance, everything right up front. He is so honest. I can see the feelings he fights so hard not to express with words, betrayed every time by his own face. He's no mystery although he thinks he is. I can decode his every mood, his every thought spelled out by the slightest wince, scowl, nod__. _Every crease in the outside corner of his eye. Every eyebrow raised in a look of surprise, annoyance or disbelief. I understand each squint or gleam of his eyes that combine with a lick on that lower lip. He is an open book for me. 

She remembered the first few times she'd ever looked in his eyes. She'd hardly known him then, wasn't sure what to make of him exactly, but those eyes pulled her in. They used to scare her a little.

_His eyes are a weapon leaving me defenseless, breaking my will effortlessly. Demanding. Piercing. He can bring me to my knees with one look and a second later, make me feel like we are the only two people on earth. He can tell me he loves me or hates me with his eyes. Dark blue diamonds. Unyielding one minute, vulnerable the next. Eyes that speak when his lips can't or won't. Eyes that see through to my soul._

_He has rough, roaming hands that show no mercy and I wouldn't want them to. Fingers that can elicit sweet agony one minute and in the next, be tender, gentle, caressing me softly. A delicate stroke against my cheek with a hungry, probing finger inside. His touch scrambles my senses. _

She watched his mouth move, lips pressing together slightly in his sleep.

_His lips, rough, punishing and brutal as he drags them over my skin can easily move with the softness of a whisper. I love when he murmurs my name in the dark, helping me to sleep with those lips pressed against my neck. Making me shudder as they trail down my torso inch by inch, all warm breath and promises _

She smiled even more when he turned toward her, still asleep, grunting, and put his hand on her hip. He was facing her now, his arm under his pillow, cradling his head.

She followed the contours of that arm, past the crook of his elbow to the curves of his bicep toned from lifting, carrying, pulling, shooting. _That crossbow must weigh fifty pounds._ Repeated movements of everyday survival. Muscles toned by a loss of body fat from weeks of too little food, offering most of his small share to her, and too much extreme exertion. He never complained, never relented. She thought about the feel of those arms pulling her to him, wrapped around her shoulder or holding her back trying to stop her from making a mistake. He held her down to save her life in Atlanta. He carried her back in those arms. She'd hardly known him then. It was all so tentative, so exciting, scary and new. Now, she could hardly remember life without him.

His shoulders were strong, not necessarily broad in a physical sense, but broad with respect to the weight he carried on them. Her safety and well-being, now the responsibility of being Rick's second. That's what he was. _Who'd have thought._

She felt air move again; then from behind her a warm soft feminine touch on her cheek, sweet, cool breath on her neck. She turned her head quickly, but Daryl's hand on her hip grasped and pulled her hard toward him, burying his mouth on her shoulder, biting playfully.

His sleepy "You awake?" was sweet and rough. He didn't know how his husky slow-talking still disarmed her sometimes. That voice was the destroyer of her "no." She closed her journal as he stirred.  
"What are you writin'?" The blue eyes flashed curiously, eyebrows raised, as if he knew exactly what she'd been doing. She noticed his voice was more than sleepy, he sounded exhausted.

"Stuff." She reached over and touched his face. "You feel hot. Fever hot. Are you okay?"

He sat up slowly. He felt like he'd been hit by a truck. The past two days had taken a toll on him physically. Clearing the yard for hours and then the next day pushing their way inside and killing what felt like hundreds of Walkers had left him sore and spent. Running on adrenaline had masked his exhaustion until now. Even with a good night's sleep he was drained. He felt that actually sleeping so deeply had thrown his body off.

Seeing him awake now, she noticed how prominent the dark circles under his eyes were. His face was flushed. "You look terrible."

"Don't feel so hot neither."

"Why don't you stay and try to sleep more. You're sick."

He shook his head. "We gotta push though inside, cafeteria, infirmary. Get a decent amount of food back here."

"It can wait. I'll tell Rick you need a break."

Danni read his expression and knew it was pointless to argue. He'd only give in to her so much, so often. She knew when not to push.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 

Daryl was so out of it, feeling a headache starting, that he didn't notice the looks they were getting as they joined the others for breakfast on the first floor at the common table. Maggie gave Danni an amused, wide-eyed nod and winked. Danni immediately realized what she meant.

She and Daryl weren't alone in a tent halfway up a long hill anymore.

_Oh shit I was really loud. And all that swearing. Fucking place probably echoes like crazy too. _

"Oatmeal again?" Danni asked trying to act normally.

Herschel was obviously avoiding eye contact as was Rick. Carol smiled like Maggie while passing over the pot so Danni could serve herself. She filled a bowl for Daryl too. He grimaced. He hated oatmeal.

"Carl is a heavy sleeper." Lori said. "Nothing wakes that kid up."

"Sophia too. A heavy sleeper." Carol added

"Oh lord, I wish I was." T-Dog sighed with loud exaggeration.

"Amen." Glenn had to stick it to her as well.

Danni's cheeks were crimson. She looked over at Daryl, still clueless, glad he was being spared this embarrassment. _It would kill him. _ She couldn't hold back laughter thinking about it. He'd absolutely die. She laughed loudly and couldn't stop for a good minute or two. She held her stomach and couldn't breath for laughing so hard.

"You having a fit or something?" Daryl asked her.

That got her going again. She couldn't stop laughing.

After a minute everybody was cracking up, chuckling with loud guffaws except Daryl who just scowled and said, "All you damn people should be medicated and put in a rec room with ping-pong tables and hand puppets."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooo

Daryl headed back into the cell block after settling Danni and Sophia outside on the grass. He **did** wish he could stay with them and take it easy for at least part of the day. He wanted to lay on the grass in the sun and listen to them tell stories. He was feeling a headache and maybe he was starting to get a fever. He never paid attention to stuff like that and wouldn't have even acknowledged it if Danni hadn't said something. _She's making me soft,_ he complained to himself.

He was searching for Rick but as he turned a corner inside the door, he ran smack into Andrea. They both jumped back at the same time and Andrea smiled, her light blue-green eyes meeting his deep cobalt ones.

Daryl looked at the floor and mumbled, "Sorry," and started to walk around her.

Her hand shot out and she grabbed his arm. "Just a minute, Daryl."

He instinctively pulled away from her while yanking his arm out of her grip. "Make it fast," he grumbled, "I'm busy."

"Can I help you with anything?" Andrea offered.

"Nah, what do you want?"

Andrea moved here eyes slowly down his body to his feet and then back up again. _Wait, did she just give me the once over? _She was smiling as she approached and stood right in front of him, their bodies almost touching. He stepped back but she took another step forward. He swallowed, wanting to break for the door but refused to give in to that instinct. He wasn't afraid of** Andrea.** Damned bitch, but why did he suddenly feel like he had gone from being a hunter to being prey?

She reached a hand up towards his face, slowly, as if she was reaching out to pet a frightened animal and placed it on his cheek.

He flinched, and jerked back away from her touch as quickly as possible. "Hey!" It was **Andrea**._ What the hell?_

"Your cheeks." She said feeling the heat from the fever. "They're flushed." She tried to push a piece of his hair back from his forehead.

"Hey, watch it." He moved back even further from her and looked down at his feet. "I'm fine," he mumbled.

She pulled her hand away and took a step backward, looking serious. "You are not, you're burning up. Doesn't that girlfriend of yours take care of you?" She asked, now glad she'd so boldly invaded his personal space. Damn, she'd _touched his face_ and he hadn't shot or stabbed her. He was all talk, she decided.

"Wife. I told you I'm fine." He said, turning and heading for the door. This was too weird and he couldn't process it just then. Andrea recalled that he and Danni considered themselves married.

"Hey, Dixon," Andrea called after him. "A wife is supposed to notice things like this. Yours is obviously dropping the ball."

He didn't turn back or say anything else. _Andrea? _He thought of the Truly disaster._ But this was Andrea. No way. I must have a bad fever._

She watched him walk away noticing how attractive he was. Why had it taken her so long to see it? It had been a while since she'd had a man. Shane felt like years ago. The night after they'd left the burning farm she'd seen Danni and Daryl fighting, and felt a shift. She knew Danni took him for granted and walked all over him. He might be looking for a little something on the side. Besides she was pregnant he couldn't be getting much. Andrea's desires were taking over. That freakish little whore treated him like crap, she saw it every day. No wonder Shane had hated her so much. She'd pulled something with him too, Andrea just knew it. Daryl could use a little more in his life. Just for fun. All she wanted was a little fun with him.

Suddenly she felt a cold breeze blow on the back of her neck. She turned shocked. She was indoors the air warm, still and slightly stagnant. _Maybe I'm coming down with something myself._ She dismissed the sensation. She headed back to her cell and felt someone shove her hard from behind. She pitched forward, falling to the floor on her hands and knees.

"Hey, who?" Daryl?" 'She whipped her head back, but no one was there. She was completely alone in cell block C.

As she looked around, confused, the overpowering smell of gardenia wafted around her head. She knew it because it was one of the flowers her mother had always grown in her garden. The scent was so strong she almost gagged.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooo

Danni sat with Sophia on the grass by the inner fence of the prison yard just beside the cement courtyard outside their cleared cell block. Herschel and Beth had taken Carol and Lori further in to the center of the field to scope out planting areas. Rick, Glenn, T Dog, Maggie, and Daryl were in the process of exploring other areas of the prison searching for the cafeteria and infirmary, and getting a sense of the likely hood of being able to clear out other cell blocks. Carl was patrolling the front gate.

It was late morning and the sun was warm, almost hot. Danni let it beat directly on her spine, relaxing her muscles. She was starting to experience lower back pain and sore shoulders as the weight in her belly increased. She removed her hoodie and let the rays penetrate easier through just her t-shirt.

"When is your tummy going to get really big?"

"It's a little bigger, wanna see?"

Sophia nodded and Danni pulled down her shirt showing how round her belly was getting. She wasn't big enough to show much under her sweatshirt, but the t-shirt clung tightly to the growing bump.

Sophia put her hand on the roundness. "Oh, they are moving in there." Danni leaned back on her hands.

"You're not **reall**y big yet." Sophia complained.

"Next month I think you'll see." Carol mentioned that five to six months was when other people notice. Halfway there

Sophia untied the red bandana from around Danni's head and undid her ponytail. She started brushing out the glossy black locks that reached more than halfway down her back.

"Two braids or one?"

"One today."

The girl adeptly separated Danni's hair into three even sections and began weaving them into a thick braid.

"Sophia, I wanted to ask you about the lady you saw in the house last week before we found the prison."

The girl looked up. "What about her?"

"Have you ever seen her before?"

"No."

"So that was the first time?'

"Yes but I saw her last night. And the night before that."

"Here?"

Sophia nodded. "She came with us. The first night we were here, she was outside with us by the fence." Sophia pointed to the transport bus barricade. "She was watching you and Daryl the night you guys were up there on the bus."

_Watching us._

"Last night I only saw her for a minute. She walked by my mom and me in our cell. I was awake and she looked at me, then went up the stairs to where you and Daryl were. Danni, she wants to talk to you. How come you won't listen?"

"I can't see her."

Sophia didn't seem afraid. "Oh, I don't think she knows that."

"Does she ever say anything to you?"

"No, she cries a lot though."

"What does she look like?"

"Well, she's pretty. Her hair is black like yours and she had a black dress on the first time I saw her, but the last two times she had a gray dress. Old fashioned dresses, the long kind with a white apron. She had a olden times nurse's hat on. White with a red cross on the front. Did Daryl see her? She went right up the stairs."

"No." _Nurse?_

"Danni if you can't see her and my mom and Daryl can't, does that mean she's a ghost?"

"Well, I'm not sure ghost is the right word."

_Crying, sadness. Ban Sidh,_ _banshee? Wailing woman or was it weeping woman? Why is she here, following us?"_

Sophia nodded. "Yeah, ghosts are scary. She's not scary. She seems nice but she's just so sad. Who is she?"

"I'm not sure, I wish I could see her."

"You believe me?"

"Of course."

"My mom said I'm just having dreams."

"Sophia I think you're the only one who can see this woman. If she says anything to you, let me know. And anytime you see her tell me."

Sophia nodded and added "She smells pretty too. I always smell flowers when I see her."

Danni smelled flowers last night; gardenia.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo

"Hey, sit down." Rick forced Daryl to a seat around the common table on the first floor of the cell block. Danni had just entered and saw him looking exhausted, flushed and slumped in the chair.

"I'm fine." He said to Rick. "Aw jesus..." He said, seeing Danni rushing toward him.

"What happened?"

"He almost passed out. I think he's been over doing it. Seems like he's coming down with something."

"That's a fever." Danni said touching his forehead.

"He should get some rest, we've done enough today." Rick offered."Herschel might have some aspirin or something."

"I have something else, I can make a tea to bring fever down."

"I'm right here." Daryl hated being fussed over and talked about.

He stood up, but was immediately unsteady on his feet.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"C'mon." She took his arm as they walked up the stairs. "You're going to lie down and rest and I'll make you something for your fever."

He wouldn't lean on her, embarrassed about his moment of unsteadiness.

"I'm fine." He kept repeating.

"Well, just humor me then okay?"

She made sure he lay down. After taking off his boots and listening to him complain some more, she dug the dried yarrow from her pack.

"Just rest okay. They can manage without you for the rest of the day. I'll be back." she brushed the damp hair from his burning forehead.

"Don't let me sleep long." He called after her as she descended the stairs.

He was damned tired and his head was pounding, but they still had so much to do. The cafeteria needed to be broken down and the supplies moved to the cell block. He yawned and stretched. Just a nap, he told himself. Just a quick nap. He took a deep breath and exhaled.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

Danni started a yarrow infusion right away, putting one ounce of the dried herb into a quart jar and covering it with boiling water Carol prepared for her on the camp stove she used for cooking. It would be ready to drink in and hour.

Herschel approached, curious about her activities.

"I have some aspirin or ibuprofen if you want to give it to Daryl for the fever." He offered. "Rick told me he's coming down with something."

"Thanks but I'm making a remedy my Nana used. She taught me how to do a lot of healing with herbs." She held her breath, waiting for his reaction. He didn't say anything so she explained.

"This is dried yarrow. The flowers are everywhere, I got all this from around your farm."

He continued to listen, so she went on,

"He can drink the tea and I'll use a cloth soaked in it to compress his head, feet and hands. Yarrow opens the pores and encourages the body to sweat the fever out. It is one of the best herbs for that. Wound healing too."

Herschel nodded. "It's not my way, but that kind of know how could be a benefit. For minor things I suppose. Save the real medicine for serious ailing."

She nodded. "I plan to get back out to the woods to search for more plants. I have a list of some that are local. Feverfew especially. It's for headaches. You're welcome to help."

"If you end up needing any of my medicine, let me know." He gave her a small smile. _Was he humoring me? Well at least he didn't insult me. _

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo_

The dizziness returned and Daryl held on to the mattress as the ceiling turned circles. This didn't usually happen unless he was drunk, he thought tiredly; he let go and let sleep take over. His heavy lids closed.

_The air was thick with smoke making day look like night. The noise of the cannons was getting closer. Daryl knew he only had so much more ammo and was trying to make it last as he crept forward, now on his hands and knees. If he could get to the trees he'd have an advantage. The Yankees were no match for him and the rest of the Rebel boys when it came to the Georgia backwoods. They'd played out many a good ambush from the trees and bushes all having the advantage of growing up sharing the terrain and universal language of hunting calls. The fighting in the brush was fierce and chaotic, as the trees and thick undergrowth made it difficult to move in an orderly fashion which was what the northern boys were used to; it negated the effect of the Union cavalry and artillery. Their men stumbled into Rebel bullets and capture and were made prisoners. The fires ignited by rifle bursts and exploding shells trapped and killed many of the wounded._

_Right now however, he was laying exposed in the field longing for his home, the woods._  
_His acute hunter's ear heard the sudden popping of rifle fire as the left flank was broken. He had no choice but to stand where he was and fight. He aimed and ran forward only to feel the exploding heat as the bullets ripped through his shoulder then abdomen. He fell and lay in the mud, knowing with certainty he would bleed out and die. She came to his thoughts. He'd promised her he'd come back and they would start their life. He married her the day before marching out. It was supposed to be for a few months not two years. His confederate brothers stumbled past his head, some falling wounded, some tripping over those already dead beside him. He'd never felt so scared in his life, but a good Rebel soldier accepted his fate. I may die so the confederacy can live._

Daryl awoke, heart pounding unaware of his surroundings. He immediately felt for bullet wounds in his stomach, grabbed his shoulder. The pain from the dream was searing through him even as his eyes opened. He was breathing heavily.

He waited about ten minutes and then sat up. He was hit with a dizzy spell, but it passed quickly. He took a couple of deep breaths but couldn't clear his head of the feeling of dying.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo

"I could have told you he was sick." Andrea stood in the door of her cell.

Danni was headed past her carrying the jar of yarrow tea in a hurry to get to Daryl, but stopped. "What did you say?"

"He was burning up this morning, looked exhausted but you let him go help Rick anyway? After the past two days? No wonder he's in such terrible shape right now. Don't you ever pay any attention to anything but yourself?"

"Mind your own business." Danni started to walk away.

Danni ignored her so Andrea called out louder, "Truth hurts does it?"

The cell door slammed on Andrea's hand catching both women by surprise.

"You bitch!" Andrea lashed out. "You could have broken my fingers!"  
"I didn't..." Danni was nowhere near the door there was no way she could have done it. Andrea knew it and felt a chill. Suddenly the smell of Gardenia was everywhere.

"You should see Herschel about that." Danni said and left her.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo

He was asleep. She sat beside him, laying the yarrow soaked cloth on his forehead. She wondered what Andrea was up to. She'd been keeping out of Danni's business for a while, since Shane. Now what was she starting?

Danni looked at Dary'ls eyelids, closed but twitching like he was active in a dream or seeing something in his unconcious.

He saw her face and thought he must be dead. She was kneeling beside him in the mud, pressing a cloth to his bloody forehead trying to hold back tears, but he knew her better than that. The sounds of gunfire, shouting, agonized screaming of the wounded, footfalls and horses had died out in the past few hours until nothing but crickets and low moans and cries of the injured remained. He lay among the others left for dead in the muddy field. Suddenly he felt a gentle touch and thought he had passed and was in heaven when he opened his eyes. "Lor..." He coughed.

"Shh." She said, "I'm here."

"Lorelei, how..."

"I found you. I've searched every battlefield from Chattanooga to Dalton to find you, now I...do not tell me I am too late. Do not tell me that here at Chickamauga so close to home, I am too late. We are almost home...don't leave me now."

He felt her tears hit his face. He was willing himself not to weaken but his body would not coöperate.

The cloth was cool on his face, he opened his eyes and saw Danni looking at him, concerned. He wasn't in a muddy blood soaked field, he was on the thin lumpy prison mattress.

"Who's Lorelei? Danni asked. "An old girlfriend you forgot to tell me about?" She was half smiling.

"What?"

"Merle's hooker?" She laughed. He didn't, so she told him. "You were talking in your sleep to someone named Lorelei."

He was serious, eyes far away. "You watched me die."

"What?"

"Nothing." He shook the strange dream from his head.

"But you said..."

"Nothing. Just a dream. One that don't mean anything."

She continued to compress his head, then had him sit up to drink the tea.

She started singing as she unbuttoned his shirt and wiped down his chest with a second yarrow soaked cloth, opening his pores, releasing the fever's heat. He leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes letting her take care of him, not complaining for once. Her voice was as soothing as her hands.

_I can't tell you anything you don't already know._  
_I keep on trying, I should just let it go._  
_I keep on singing, you're eyes they just roll._  
_It sounds like someone else's song from along time ago._  
_You already know the story and the chords are just the same._  
_You already know I love you, and I sound like whats-her-name._  
_But you can't stop me, I want you to know._  
_I know it sounds like someone else's song from along time ago._

_(Wilco)_

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"What are you doing out there?" Danni looked at Fionn on the other side of the Cell Block gate. He was in the outer hall that led to the rest of the prison. More mice on that side I bet. The young cat had made himself at home in his new environment, mousing constantly. He was rubbing against the bars waiting for her to let him in.

"Stay here."

She returned to the second floor where Daryl was sleeping again, finally feeling a little cooler. The fever was slowly coming down. She took his keys and headed back to the cat.

She got the right key on her third try. It turned it noisily in its latch. She pushed the door open and bent down to pat the cat's head as he swished by her ankles. That's when she felt herself pushed roughly back into the ante-room. She stood up to see a dirty guy in prison issue pants and a white wife beater raising a heavy wrench over her face. He shoved her back against the wall and whispered harshly in her face. "How many of you?"

His eyes were darting back and forth, wildly. He looked like he'd been hiding out somewhere in the prison for months.

She didn't answer, shocked by the sudden appearance of this intruder, so he backhanded her across the mouth.

"Your boys killed my posse." He hissed. "Where are they?"

She saw his panicked eyes shift to the table to her right, where some guns were laid out. He was nothing but a threat, not even really a person to her that moment. After Truly, Danni's survival instinct was in high gear._ Kill or be killed. _Daryl had drilled that into her head:_ Kill or be killed and you don't hesitate._ She heard his voice and saw the threat to her, the babies, the group. Her fear was turning to anger on a dime lately. She knew what this guy was thinking as he glanced back and forth from her face to the guns. If only she could somehow get him off of her and beat him to the table she could grab a gun and...

"Hey! Motherfucker what the..?" He suddenly flew back off of her as if someone had grabbed him and he hit the barred door behind. Danni sped to the table and grabbed a handgun; she released the safety and spun back expecting to see Rick, Glenn, anyone, but she was still alone with the prisoner. He charged her with a shiv he'd pulled from his back pocket. She was about to pull the trigger, without thinking twice.

Before she could squeeze, a shot came from behind her.

"Rick, there's the other one!" She heard T Dog shout. He'd killed the intruder. She stood staring at the body on the floor in front of her wondering how exactly the guy had been pulled off of her. Or **who** had done it.

The shot brought most of the group running. Before anyone had a chance to say anything, Daryl pushed past T Dog, moved Danni aside and shot an arrrow directly between the eyes of the dead prisoner with a soft sucking sound.

"What happened? You ..." he looked back at her.

""Fine."

"Why did you do that?" Maggie asked. All eyes were on Daryl.

He realized no one else knew. He looked at Rick.

"Shooting the guy not enough for you?" Glenn tried to laugh, but Rick and Daryl's postures were radiating a heaviness that went beyond a reaction to Glenn's bad joke.

"Where did he come from?' Rick tried to divert attention and get his own serious question answered.

"Through there." Danni answered. "I was looking out for Walkers when I opened the gate for the cat, I had no idea..."

Daryl ripped his keys from her belt as she spoke. "...there'd be a live son of a bitch. Are there more?"

She knew he was pissed. She could hear him now...he was going to let her have it.

"We don't think so. T Dog and I ran into a small group of men in the cafeteria. Thought we'd taken care of them."

"Guess this is the one slipped out on us." T-Dog finished for Rick.

"Took care of them?" Herschel asked.

Before Rick could answer, Andrea jumped in.

"Why **did **you do that Daryl? The guy was dead. But it figures, give Danni a gun and we get another death. Did he actually deserve it?"

"Shut your mouth." Daryl assumed Danni had taken the shot. He turned to Andrea. "She was protectin' the group, even your sorry ass."

Danni had enough and she could fight her own battles. "Stay out of my business. I don't know why you're getting back in my face all the time now but I'm..."

Andrea went at her and Danni grabbed the other woman's hair.

"Hey, I shot that asshole!" T-Dog moved to break up their fight.

"Enough!" Rick shouted. "Daryl had to do it or that guy would have turned. He'd be..." Rick's outburst stopped the two women in an instant.

"A Walker? But how?" Glenn asked. "He wasn't bitten or ..."

Everyone's eyes were on Rick. "I know I should have told you."

"Told us what?" Lori asked.

"Back at the CDC, Jenner said that we are all...infected. We all carry whatever this is, this condition or disease. Whatever it is that makes us turn, its in us already."

"So you're saying that when someone dies no matter how they die, they become a Walker." Herschel summed up the terrifying situation.

"And you kept this from us?" Carol's voice broke as her eyes bore holes into Rick. "How could you?"

"You knew about this?" Glenn asked Daryl, his voice accusatory.

"I made Daryl keep it to himself. I was waiting for the right time."

"Right time?" Lori asked. "You lied to us!"

Lori led Rick away, angrily bombarding him with questions. The rest of the group dispersed, shock making them walk slowly and almost aimlessly.

Daryl looked at Danni's dark expression, trying to figure out how she felt about the news and that he'd kept it from her. She wasn't looking at him or anyone else, he couldn't read her. She bent over and stepping on the corpse's neck, retrieved his bolt from the head of the dead prisoner and handed it to him.

"C'mon, you're still sick, you should be resting." She said in monotone, walking by him, not meeting his gaze. She headed upstairs. He looked a little sheepish, but followed her back up stairs.

T Dog looked incredulous as everyone walked off, leaving the dead body with him.

"Hey, Glenn, somebody, help a brother out?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

_"_That tea you gave me worked. Feel a lot better." Daryl ventured after what felt like hours. He hadn't even busted her for stealing his keys and acting so stupidly, as much as wanted to. Sometimes she still surprised him. He was pissed, but she was probably just as mad about him keeping Rick's secret from her. He'd let her go first.

She was still in her head somewhere. _What did this mean for the babies?_

"You ever gonna talk to me again?" He asked.

"If we're all infected, then so are the babies."

"Got a point?"

"What if they're born Walkers and rip me apart?"

He sighed. He'd rather have her yelling at him for keeping it a secret from her.

She ignored him and kept going. "What if we all die? We're all three of us Walkers. if we are...you don't hesitate and **don't** try to save us."

"What are you talking about?"

"If I die in child-birth, or the babies do. We'd turn... and ... what if I come back, what if I attack you?"

"Stop. You seen how its gonna be okay. You seen it in your dreams. We'll be fine."

"But you'd need to do it. Promise me you'd..."

"Not talking about this."

"All I'm saying is..."

"It doesn't need to be said. This doesn't change a damn thing. We still keep going, keep killing them geeks and keep living. Don't think about something you can't do nothing about."

_Genius. He was right. _

"I don't plan on us dying anytime soon." He added.

"Okay.' She took some deep breaths and considered his words, thought about her dreams. "Okay." She couldn't control the fact that they were infected, but she could do her damndest to stay alive.

"Thought you'd be givin' me hell for not telling you."

"Oh yeah, **about** that..."

"Make me sorry, c'mon." He ordered in that sweet, rough, drawling slow-talk; destroyer of "no."

She pushed him back on the mattress and held his arms over his head. "Oh, I will. Then its your turn. I know you're pissed at me too."

"Bet I am." He growled into her mouth as she moved to kiss him.

She suddenly stopped. "Do you smell that?"

_Gardenia. Everywhere._

"Will you just shut up for once so I can kiss you."


	35. Just Stay

**_*LOVE you all for reading and sticking with me! The convos with you guys are really awesome!_**

**_***AN: I revamped chapter 1 on 9/2. I put a bit more of Danni's personality into it-rock and roll, tarot... I feel that it introduces her better. Letting you know in case you want to check it out..but if you're here at ch 35, you already know her pretty well ;)_**

**_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_**

_**You appeared like this.  
And it was destiny that wanted us to meet.  
Some road from another happier time  
Brings you here again.**_

_**My life dawned  
And each light of my universe turned on.  
With another face, you told me, "Here I am."  
I met you  
And I offered you my life.**_

_**Stay, this time is ours  
And love wants to return.  
Oh, stay.  
Today, don't leave me like yesterday.**_

_**Stay, this time is ours**_  
_**And our love only wants to be reborn.**_  
_**Oh stay, stay**_  
_**Today, don't leave me like yesterday.**_  
_**Stay**_

_**-Lara Fabian**_

"Sophia?"

Danni happened to open her eyes and look past Daryl's shoulder as he kissed and bit her neck. She pushed him off and sat up.

"Hell you going? I didn't get started yet. You owe me, for falling asleep before..." he started to complain teasingly and tried to pull her back down.

"Sophia!" Danni said, louder this time. He turned his head back and saw the girl at the foot of their mattress, watching them in the dim candlelight.

"You're not 'sposed to be up here." He said flustered, grabbing his shirt and quickly putting it on. They hadn't gotten any further with undressing than that.

"Danni says I can come up any time I want."

"Not in the middle of damn the night." He grumbled under his breath.

Danni hit his arm hard.

"Anytime. Are you okay bug?"

"Yes, but The lady **talked** to me and you said to tell you so I came as fast as I could."

She stood in her purple leggings and the oversized Hello Kitty sweatshirt she wore as pajamas. Her feet were bare, her chin length blonde hair sticking up on the side from bed head and lack of regular brushing of eight year olds. Her blue eyes were wide and her cheeks a little flushed with excitement at her mission.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you mad Daryl, I'll go." She said with an exaggerated pout, slyly knowing he'd smile at her. He did and winked.

"He's not mad. **Are **you?" Danni nudged his shoulder. "C'mere." She motioned for Sophia to come closer. She bounded on to the mattress and bulldozed her small body between Daryl and Danni happily. Daryl moved over so she could fit better. When she looked up at him and smiled he pretended to scowl. The girl knew better.

"What did she say?" Danni asked curiously, focusing on Sophia's serious face.

He wasn't sure what they were talking about, probably one of those fairy story things they were always making up.

He stood and moved to leave.

"Where are you going?" Danni asked. It might be time to let him know about this...spirit.

"Need air. Be back." He nodded and pulled on his boots, then gave another small smile to Sophia who was snuggling next to Danni.

"Oh and** you **fell asleep, not me." Danni corrected him as he turned.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo

Daryl found a pack of cigarettes on one of the dead guards, when he and Rick raided the armory the day before. Marlboros were now hard to come by and usually stale when found. It had been forever since he'd had a smoke and was looking forward to it. He was a little taken aback to find Rick already at the fence staring off into the distance under the late night sky. Daryl had expected to have the place to himself.

He nodded to acknowledge Rick and held out the pack of Marlboros.

Rick shook his head.

"Officer clean living, huh?"

"I guess." Rick answered, running his thumb over his scruffy chin, his eyes looking exhausted and full of worry as usual.

Daryl lit a cigarette and took the first drag, letting the cold air and smoke fill his lungs then he smoothly exhaled. It immediately took the edge off. He welcomed the familiar comforting, soothing sense it gave him. He began to feel more awake, more alert but also relaxed and calm.

Rick broke the silence, still pensive. "Lori kicked me out for talking in my sleep. Never done that before. This place has been giving me weird dreams."

_Weird dreams..._

"These dreams I'm having, all about being in a war and trying to keep my battalion together. Symbolic I guess."

"War?" Daryl couldn't help but ask thinking of his own dreams.

"Damnedest thing, don't know why but its the Civil war. Maybe cause Danni brought up Chickamauga recently? Made me think of tenth grade history class."

_You were my major. Lieutenant major. _The words entered Daryl's mind as if someone else was speaking.

"What?"

"Tenth grade history class, it's all coming back now. Bragg retreating back from Tennessee here to Georgia and driving back Rosencrans. All the fighting in the woods by the rebels won that battle. The Union soldiers had no idea how to fight like that. Remember?"

"I guess." Daryl didn't pay as much attention in class as Rick had. He just remembered the south won that one

" Bloody too. Had the second highest number of casualties in the war after Gettysburg. Was the first major battle of the war that was fought in Georgia."

"River of Death." Daryl referred to the Cherokee translation.

Rick sounded far away, thoughtful about the possible meaning of his dream as he related the details.

"My enemies keep trying to kill, me put me in the ground but I'm not **ready** to die, I'm killing them first. My men are in this trench filled with mud and pools of blood fighting the Union soldiers and I'm **trying** to pull them out, each one, but it's too steep and I'm falling in myself. **Why** the hell did they go down into that trench ..."

"It was a turkey shoot. But it went bad." Daryl suddenly explained.

"What?"

"The enemy ran themselves into a hole, then our boys stood at the top an' picked them off like turkeys before Christmas. Only it went bad, the sides of the trench were too muddy and they slid; fell right on into Yankee hands. Slippery mud and giant puddles of blood, trying to scramble back up the sides but there was too much mud, too much blood pooling up everywhere. They were mostly using knives, bayonets not pistols or rifles because the fighting was so close up. Blood everywhere."

_You pulled me out though, finally. I had a knife wound in my side, but I'd have surely died if you didn't pull me on out Major. _Words again entered Daryl's head in someone else's voice,

"Daryl, how'd you know all that? I swear you were in my head watching that dream."

"Must be from school, like you said. History class comin' back or something." Daryl had no idea how he had known. He felt he was watching it like a movie as he'd spoken.

"Anyway, what are you doing out here?"

"Same as you, I guess. Sophia and Danni..."

Rick nodded, "No room huh?" Letting Daryl know he didn't have to finish.

"Danni's real good with her. Likes her around all the time."

"Wait until your kids come. She'll make a good mom."

Daryl didn't say anything.

"Almost half way there. You two seem to be handling it well. It can't be easy, things the way they are."

_Halfway there. _ It dawned on Daryl that they were getting closer. He kept his mind focused on the present, he had to. But Rick's words forced him ahead. Danni was looking more pregnant every day and though she'd kill him for saying so, more vulnerable; at least in his eyes. Since they'd arrived at the prison he'd been relieved she wasn't fighting him on sitting out the more dangerous tasks. He was starting to worry that her attitude would change as they became more comfortable with daily life here.

"You know if you ever need any advice or anything." Rick offered interrupting his thoughts.

Daryl cleared his throat and took another drag on the cigarette. He didn't answer for a while then said, "Carl's a good kid."

"Hey guys what's up?" Glenn joined them, looking disheartened.

They nodded to him as he leaned on the fence facing Daryl.

"Maggie kick you out too?" Rick joked.

"How did you know?"

"I didn't, I was kidding."

"Ha ha." Glenn, moped.

"Well join the club." Rick welcomed him.

"Daryl, got a second?" Glenn asked

He turned, taking another long drag, expelled smoke from his lungs and faced Glenn.

"Can I ask you about something?"

Daryl shrugged.

"What... okay...how exactly do you... I mean, is it...how do..."

"Spit it out kid."

"Go down on a woman?" Glenn spit it out alright.

Daryl's face reddened and the cigarette fell from his mouth. "Hell you asking me something like that for?"

Rick coughed.

"Because Danni told Maggie that you're, well...really good at it."

"Never took you for the sensitive type." Rick laughed a little.

"We have to talk about this?" Daryl asked obviously uncomfortable, wishing to hell he hadn't come out here in the first place.

"Look she's really bugging me. We just had a fight about it."

"I really don't want to know about what you two get up to." Daryl complained.

"Or not." Rick couldn't help himself.

Daryl had to laugh a little himself. "Or not." He repeated.

Glenn was blushing now.

"It's not for everybody." Rick tried to validate Glenn.

"No, it's not that I don't want to, I just never have, okay?"

"First time for everything." Daryl said hoping Glenn would just shut up.

"What if I don't do it right? Just give me some tips."

"What are we chickens at a damn hen party?" Daryl self-conscious at the continued awkward questioning.

"Man to man?"

Daryl shook his head starting to feel sympathy for Glenn. He became serious, his voice was low. "Ask her to show you. She'll show you more than I could ever tell you. Once she does, its easy."

"Ask her? But then she'll now I don't know and..."

"Look Glenn, she's your girl aint she?"

"Well, yeah."

"Then ask her. It won't matter. What's the problem?"

Daryl had just given Glenn the key to a good relationship without even knowing it.

"Really?"

Rick jumped in. "She'll like that you care enough to ask."

Glenn nodded and considered. "Then its **easy**? Really?"

Daryl shrugged as if it were nothing. "Yeah. Like anything else, when you know what to do you just do it. What's the big deal? Kinda like dressing a deer, gutting your kill. There's an order to it so once you get it down you just follow it through."

"Okay...thanks I think I get it." Glenn tried to shake the last image from his mind. _Well look who I'm asking._

Rick grimaced a little too.

If Daryl noticed their reactions he didn't care. He was practical that was all.

"Ask her, huh? Is that what you did?"

Daryl nodded at Glenn, not ashamed to admit it, letting pride sink in a little, embarrassed, but secretly proud Danni was talking about him like that, to her girlfriends.

Glenn looked resolved. "Thanks man."

He then changed the subject.

"Hey has anyone noticed how weird Andrea's been acting?"

"Something new about that?" Daryl asked.

"I swear she's been coming on to me."

"Now that you mention it, she's been pretty touchy feelie." Rick observed.

Glenn added "T-Dog too, he said she cornered him in his cell and was acting flirty."

"Good for him, he's single right? Keep the crazy away from us." Daryl said.

"So you too?"

"Didn't say that." He didn't want to admit he'd been having the same issues with Andrea, but he felt better knowing it wasn't about him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 

"She said its time for you to go home and get some things and put it in order.' Sophia explained, her head cradled in the crook of Danni's arm.

"What does that mean?" Danni asked looking up at the ceiling.

Sophia shrugged. "That's what she said. I think **you're** supposed to know what it means."

After remaining deep in thought for a while, Danni gave up trying to understand. _Home? Minneapolis? Was it even there anymore? She couldn't mean that. _

"Danni, I can't sleep. Would you tell me a story? A Fionn story?" Sophia asked.

"Aw ladybug, I 'm so tired I don't think I'd do a very good job tonight. Sorry."

"That's okay. But I'm bored."

"Hey, I have something cool." Danni reached over to the milk crate side table and retrieved the cigar box of tintypes. She sat up and Sophia did the same curious. They turned toward each other and sat cross-legged. Danni missed being able to pull her knees up to her chest the way she used to when her tummy was flatter.  
"These are really old photographs. The first ones ever made, I think." She explained.

Danni took the small stack out for Sophia who took them and looked through carefully.

"These people are really old-fashioned." She giggled.

"Look at their eyes, though. Don't they look real, alive?"

Sophia nodded.

"Hey! She cried out suddenly. "That's the lady!"

She held up the photo that Danni had been drawn to. The pretty woman in the black dress with searching eyes.

"Are you sure?" Danni's mouth was dry and her heart began to beat unevenly in her chest.

"Yes. Its her."

Gardenia permeated the air again.

Sophia sat up straight and looked behind Danni. "She's here." She said softly.

Danni saw the candle flames jumping wildly, reaching as high as they could. She was afraid to turn around.

"What does she want?" Danni asked, her voice unsteady.

"She wants you to go home and set it right. That's what she is saying."

Danni was cold, suddenly freezing.

"Where is home? My home in Minnesota?"

Sophia shook her head. "That's not your home. The lady says your home is the house of the owl."

"What does she mean, owl?"

"She says you know and that you were there. You have to go back."

Of course, the house they'd stayed at, where she wouldn't let Daryl kill the owl. It was where the pictures came from.

"Is she upset that I took her...the box of pictures?"

"No, she's smiling now. She says you were supposed to take them because they are yours. She's been waiting for so long. Now you have to go get your other things."

Danni felt a cool touch of a soft hand on her cheek. She turned toward its direction but she saw nothing, no one. "My other things?"

"Danni, she says please go soon. Please."

Danni felt something wet on the back of her hand. Drops of water were falling on her hand and wrist. Tears. They were tears. But no one was there.

"Sophia is she crying?"

"Yes, but she's smiling too. She loves you Danni. She is you."

"What?"

"She's gone now."

Danni felt overwhelmed with a sadness she couldn't explain. She started to cry unable to help herself. As she wept, she felt a deep longing pain in the core of her being somehow knowing she'd lost someone and that ache was unbearable. She almost couldn't breathe for the pain.

Sophia took Danni's head in her lap and stroked her hair, as she continued to sob. "Its okay, the lady said its okay now."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o

After shooting the shit for another hour or so with Rick and Glenn, Daryl returned to the perch. He sat against the wall looking at Danni and Sophia curled up together on the mattress as the candles burned low, soon to extinguish themselves. They slept deeply, breathing evenly while Danni's arm protectively circled Sophia's shoulders. Danni's skin was so pale and her hair so jet black that he wasn't sure what the contrast made more intense. He wanted to run his hand through that hair, tangle his fingers in its silken strands. Tonight, its darkness spilled over her shoulders front and back, cascading like a waterfall over the pillow. Thick, shiny, black but when the sun hit it, tiny strands of blue lightning ran all though the locks. Lately she wore it in braids or a ponytail gathered into a bandana to keep it up out of her way, but she'd always take it down, when they were alone together, knowing he liked it free, letting it tumble over her back to her waist. He swore he could smell the honeysuckle even now, across the room. He'd had visceral reactions to scent, all of his life.

They had a honeysuckle bush in the back yard when he was a kid. His mom loved the tiny yellow flowers with the powerful smell that were so pretty and grew so wildly. She said they made her happy. She was hardly ever happy. He used to bring some in for her, he must have been seven or eight. She had smiled, one of the few times she ever did. When the old man found out what Daryl had been doing he'd ripped the bush out and beaten Daryl for acting like such a girl, playing around with flowers. His mother didn't stop his father; she couldn't, she was next. But she had smiled. The honeysuckle made her smile and that was what he remembered most.

Danni's hair always had the same sweet smell and brought him back to his first time, their very first time together. It was all he could smell when she changed his life forever.

As her hair grew, she kept up trimming her bangs. She kept them even at her brows framing her eyes, knowing how much larger they made her eyes look. He loved those eyes, the way they seemed to change shade with her mood, the dark flecks of brown and green in her iris, the long dark lashes making them look enormous. Her eyes broke him, but reassured him simultaneously. Every time she stared hard and deep into his own he'd do anything she wanted. The deep hazel glittering jewels controlled his will. He loved her smile the best, but her eyes were second. He kept his eyes on her, almost making an inventory in his head.

She was small, only about 5' 4' and delicate, but strong-all muscle, much more so since months of small rations. Seeing her belly grow on that modest frame of hers made him admire her strength all the more. She hadn't changed much anywhere else just her belly. Rick's words came back. Halfway there.

Rick was right, the way she had her arms so protectively around Sophia showed him how she'd be with their own. Nothing would hurt those kids, he'd make damn sure of that. Their kids would never know the pain they had experienced. He'd keep Danni safe too. He swore.

Her hand gripped an old photo. The box it came from was on the milk crate on his side of the bed. He slid over and grabbed it, then moved back to his place against the wall. The light was low but he could make out the figures in the antique pictures. Soldiers mostly. Young, eager in their uniforms; muskets and courage on display. All slaughtered most likely. His spine tingled when he remembered his dream and Rick's. Why did Danni have these? What was going on?

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next morning, Daryl and Danni sat downstairs at the table discussing the need to go on a run to a Wal-Mart type store to search for baby supplies. It was still up for debate. Daryl didn't want her to go, If he did decide to do the run he'd take Glenn or T Dog. They weren't sure they'd they find a store and if they did would there be anything left? He studied a map Rick gave him, looking for likely suburban areas where a big box store might be found while Danni looked over the list Carol and Lori made:

As many packages of baby wipes and disposable diapers as possible

Baby shampoo and soap

Baby talc powder

Cloths for burping and face washing

Wraps and blankets

baby carriers

For breastfeeding lots of breast pads and a nursing pillow-they make special ones for twins.

2 portacots

For you: comfortable shoes, like sneakers, some bigger t-shirts or sweaters and chocolate. Chocolate was capitalized.

Daryl said he'd take the list and grab everything. She just laughed at him. There was no way he was going without her.

Danni felt a little overwhelmed by the list. She wished Carol could go with her, but she had a detour planned that only she and Daryl could make.

Maggie approached with a deliberate stride. She tapped Daryl on the shoulder so he turned toward her

"Thank you Daryl."

"For what?"

"Thank you, thank you, lord have mercy, thank you!" Was all she said before walking away.

"What was that all about?" Danni asked, looking up.

He was about to say he had no idea when he saw Glenn giving a ridiculously goofy thumbs up sign from the door of his cell.

Daryl shook his head with an amused scowl. "Aw Jesus." He muttered. "Should be thanking you." He said to Danni who looked completely confused. She moved her eyes back to the list.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo

In early afternoon, Danni found Maggie out in the yard digging up the area Herschel was planning to use as a vegetable garden. She was on her knees, turning soil with her hands.

"Hey Maggie." Danni sat beside her, again enjoying the sun on her back.

She stopped her work and lay back, stretching out her legs, turning her face up to the sun.

"By the way, thank Daryl again for me again for me. huh? He gave Glenn a little pep talk about what we talked about the other day. "

"I thought so." Danni smiled. "But no I don't think I'll thank him again. He gets really, well, you know him. I can't believe he even said anything to Glenn. Come to think of it, I can't believe Glenn said anything to him. You have quite an influence."

"He told Glenn to ask **me** what to do. Can you believe it? Pretty amazing guy you have."

Danni felt proud. "I guess, yeah."

"So, I did. Showed him and well, how could it not be amazing?"

"That's what I'm saying, girl. Men don't know anything, You have to teach them. Believe me if they're worth anything they want you to."

"Glenn still has some learning to do but hey, who's complaining. It's the kind of homework I love."

"I'm still amazed by Daryl though. I mean he got good fast."

"It has a lot to do with you I reckon." Maggie offered. "And his hunting." Glenn had told Maggie about Daryl's metaphor.

"What?"

Maggie explained and Danni scowled. "That's the second time he's compared me to a dead deer. Eeew. What the fuck?"

"Maybe its a compliment?" Maggie said.

"Gross."

All they could do was laugh. after a few minutes, Danni got serious and spoke.

"Maggie, everything you're doing is just so ...well thanks. Helping clear this place out, securing the rest of the prison. You're making it safe for us as much as any of the guys. And you are a fucking good shot. I saw you. I wish I could be helping more."

"It's really strange but so much of that tarot reading you did seems to be falling into place. I honestly never saw myself doing some of the things I am doing now."

"You're finding out how strong and awesome you are. It's always been there. As soon as I can I'll be right in there with you. You know that right?"

"Oh please, you still do so much. We want you to take care of yourself you know. We are so excited about the babies. You aren't allowed to do anything but take care of them, got it?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Oh and by the way, Glenn says Andrea's acting weird, on the prowl I call it. She came on to him the other day. Can you believe it? I guess Rick too. Just watch out for her. I bet she wouldn't dare pull anything with Daryl. I mean your pregnant and he's well, he's **Daryl.**

**"**I always watch out for her."

"Don't worry, if she's looking for a fuck buddy she's in the wrong place. Our men are taken. I'm going to tell her that." Maggie drawled low, pulling no punches.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

"It's just down to the woods past the edge of the fence. I won't be long. I just need a few plants. Feverfew, more yarrow and a couple others." Danni explained.

Daryl caught her as she was making her way alone to the far end of the yard. "Glen will be at the gate the whole time. " She continued.

"You aint going alone."

"Fine come with me."

He was surprised. "You gonna argue?"

"Why would I? "

"Because you think you can take care of yourself and don't need anybody..."

She sighed. "I want you to come. I miss you."

He'd been tied up with Rick for days, securing other parts of the prison and raiding the armory. Rick was right about the place being a gold mine. They had food, medicine, ammo and weapons just like he'd hoped. However, it was a dangerous process getting it all to their central location since most areas of the prison were still crawling with Walkers. They were still clearing out wings, but slowly. Danni felt like she hadn't spent any time with Daryl in ages.

That caught him off guard. He missed her too. "All right then."

As they walked she said, "I need to talk to you about something."

He hated when she started a conversation with those words. It made his gut automatically clench.

"I have to go back to that house we stayed at on our way here. The one with the owl."

"You leave something?"

"No I have to find something."

He winced, his face asking her what she meant.

"I am being contacted by a spirit." There she said it.

He was as wordless as she expected him to be.

"A spirit." She said again.

"Repeating a thing don't make it better. Or more possible."

"She told me I have to go back home and find something to put things in order."

He was silent.

"I guess home is that house."

"You know how batshit crazy you sound right now?"

"Hey, look who you're talking to. You know I have to go with this stuff. It's who I am. You used to think my dreams were crazy, my tarot. Why is this any different?"

"You're talking about ghosts telling you to do something that's likely to get you killed. Ghosts? Seems different to me."

"I have to go."

"Don't want you to."

She stared at him.

"Danni this aint some tea you can get me drink or card to pick out for you. This is dangerous."

She kept staring hard.

"Stop." He glared back, his eyes taking on that piercing, knee weakening power. As much as her stare could break him, he ultimately had that power as well and she had to look away.

"Daryl please. It's important to her, she needs me to help."

He struggled with her 'please'. But he wasn't losing her for some stupid imaginary reason.

"She?" Hell is she? Sorry." He wouldn't relent. Why didn't she see the danger? She was pregnant for gods sake. She needed to stay here where he could protect her, keep her safe; the babies safe. Now that they were at the prison, it was supposed to be easier. Why was she making things difficult? He went on, "Don't you remember what its like out there? The farm? How hard it was to get here. Running from place to place getting over run everywhere we went? Jesus where is your head at? You forgetting there's Walkers crawling over the rest of damn the world?"

"No, I know its dangerous. But I have you; you'll come with me. I'll be fine with you."

"You'll be fine staying here."

She noticed his face retained the hardened, protective scowling mask he usually let down in front of her. He was holding on to it and glaring the way he did when they'd first met. She knew he was furious or terrified or maybe both. She was feeling the exasperated frustration with his stubbornness that she used to feel so often at first too. She wanted to kick dirt at him like she used to.

"I don't need your permission. I was just hoping for support. Come with me if would make you feel better. But I have to go."

He shook his head. "Two sides of a fence and were on opposite ends."

"I'm going. You can't stop me."

"Damn right I can stop you and I will."

"You're being a jerk you know."

He grabbed her wrist, squeezing. He was angry and when she started to turn away he yanked her arm back harder than he meant. He heard her shoulder crack a little. When she cried out in pain he let go as if hit with an electric shock. She knew it was his fear, but it still hurt. "Hey!"

"Sorry! I Didn't mean to..." He suddenly turned and stalked up the hill. "Do whatever the hell you want!"

He couldn't trust himself not to hurt her, no matter what she'd told him the other night. His anger scared him.

"Daryl where are you going? Don't walk away from me!"

He ignored her and kept walking.

She hadn't even made it back to the prison entrance when she heard the thundering engine and saw him racing the chopper down the dirt drive. Glenn opened the gate and shut it behind him. Daryl never looked back.

_One step forward two million steps back. _She thought. She hurried through the first floor of the cell block, ignoring Rick's worried questioning. "Where did Daryl go? Danni what's going on?"

She reached the second floor and looked over their space; she took a deep breath seeing all his stuff still there._ "_Okay, okay," she breathed.

_Let him go, but only for a little while._ She could wait. If that's what he needed. She could wait.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 

Daryl had been afraid of his father before his mother died. He could remember her cries, sometimes screams; she was also a victim of his father's temper and belt. Daryl tried his best to shield her but it was no use. He was just a kid who couldn't even protect himself. She cried all the time. He felt so helpless not knowing what to do for her, how to stop her tears how to protect her and fix her life. The honeysuckle flowers were so stupid. Nothing he did was ever right. Then after the fire, his old man told Daryl what a stupid, worthless and unwanted little shit he was. How his mother set the fire on purpose to kill herself to get away from **him **because he was such a disappointment to her as a son. It was all his fault. it wasn't an accident.

Daryl would never argue; what his father said seemed true; his mother was dead and Merle wasn't around. They wanted to get away from him. Nobody gave a shit about him, they just left him. He never did anything that would make anybody want to stay around.

He walked in the brush, watching the sun setting behind the trees, not knowing where he was going. He needed his escape in the woods. Danni was going to leave him too. Die just like his mother and it would be his fault just like her death was his fault. Or she'd take off and not look back just like Merle. She didn't want him taking care of her. Why else would she argue about going on that stupid wild goose chase. She should know how worried it would make him, how dangerous it was. They were settling in somewhere, he **finally** felt he was doing right by her, but obviously he wasn't if she wanted to leave, Who'd blame her? He'd been afraid of this since the beginning, just waiting.

He questioned ever going back to the prison at all.

Suddenly he heard the popping of rifles to his right. He automatically hit the dirt and moved behind a boulder. _What the fuck? Who's out here? _

He heard shouting off in the distance and hoofbeats coming closer. He sat up checking his cover and made sure his gun was ready, loaded, safety off. He lay the cross-bow down. These were no Walkers. He crouched, tense, heart beating faster as the noise got closer. He waited but nothing happened. The noises grew deafeningly loud then died out but he was alone the entire time. Daryl stood, breathing heavily, almost gasping. He whipped his head left to right, making sure he was alone. He was actually shaking and sweat dripped from his brow despite the coolness of the air. He had no idea what just happened. Suddenly that voice spoke in his head again..._never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. __Forgive my faults, and the many pains I have caused you. _Daryl was shaken, to his core. _That couldn't have happened, _his own voice said inside his head.

hereoutooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo ooooooooo

_It was haunting him again. God damn what had happened to him, who'd hurt him that much._ Danni wondered, letting tears fall on the pages of her open journal. She couldn't help herself. Hormones and seeing his devastated face turned on her faucets.

His self loathing was holding on for dear life inside him. It wanted to wear her down too but she was tougher than that. She'd fought her own battle with it and she was going to stay and fight his too. Had it been this hard for Stephen, with her? Probably. Danni was pretty messed up when he met her especially after Tara's suicide. He was relentless and patient and wore her down until she saw what he saw in her. She wouldn't give up on Daryl. She remembered a poem she'd read the night at the CDC when he'd shown her his back and he'd seen hers and they wordlessly knew that sharing scars meant they could trust each other; but she was more ready than he was. She'd applied the poem to herself then, but now she felt it echoed him.

_Everything about my heart is a crime scene._

_I drink to forget things it takes me 2 beers to name._

_I pour my breath into things only worth forgetting._

_I have nothing left to say to the ghosts._

_Their cold hands and bitter mouths keep kissing me awake_

_when I have asked them nicely and then not-so-nicely_

_to be left alone._

_I have nothing left to say to the ghosts._

_Two decades full of nothing but monsters and crime scenes_

_and sometimes I am the monster and sometimes_

_I am the crime scene. There is nothing I would undo_

_so much as things I wish would wake up forgotten._

_-_Clementine von Radics

She wasn't sure how many hours had passed as she lay with her head on the pillow still damp with tears, worrying that he'd been gone for so long. The entire cell block was silent and enveloped in the shadowy silver darkness of moonlight on concrete. Everyone must be sleeping.

_He's outside, he needs you. _The words played through her mind in someone else's voice and the next thing she knew her boots were on, her hood up and she'd silently crossed the first floor of the cell block. She pushed open the heavy door to the yard seeing Daryl's back rising and falling, his breath uneven as he leaned his arms on the fence, his head bowed, staring at the ground.

"I'm not letting you do this." She said standing next to him. He didn't startle he'd sensed her behind him.

"You're not driving me away." She stood focusing past him out at the night sky topping the tree line.

He wouldn't look at her as he spoke. "Thought you'd be gone by now, halfway to your ghost house."

"No you didn't. You knew I wouldn't go without you."

"Told you, do whatever the hell you want."

"You are not shutting me out."

"Gonna give me more of your head shrinking crap? You don't know shit, no idea. It's all about Merle some bullshit like that? You don't know anything about us. Stop acting like you do. I don't want you here. Just go."

"Nope."

"Jesus, do I have to spell it out for you? Get away from me, I'm gonna hurt you and I won't be able to stop myself. Keep away."

"You're gonna beat me to it, is that it? Leave me before I leave you?"

"What the fuck..."

"It won't work.

"Stupid bitch, I told you, go!" He yelled, he paced, he furiously swiped and blinked back tears refusing to let them fall. He acted like the Daryl on the roof back in Atlanta. She wasn't afraid then, she wasn't afraid now.

Danni wouldn't move. "You don't mean it."

"Don't tell me what I mean."

"Then don't call me a bitch. I don't deserve it."

_Was she crazy? "_Fine,** I'll** go_." _He tried to push past her but she grabbed his arms and pulled him to her. He could have ripped himself from her grasp, but he didn't.

"I'm not letting you run away from me. It won't work with me. Not **me**."

He let her hands move up to his shoulders while he looked down breathing heavily.

"By the way, happy anniversary." She said softly with affection.

"What?

"It's a month today. We've been married."

His face fell. He struggled with what she was saying and doing versus his old instincts to go for the familiar, but painful, comfort of his lonliness; he knew it best. She was taking that away from him. He was caught. "I...I don't know what to do." He tried to keep his voice steady.

"Stay. Just stay."

They stared out at the night covered field for a while.

"Daryl, will you please go with me to check out the house? I won't go without you. So it would mean a lot if you would come with me and help me."

"You won't go?"

"No, not without you. I respect your feelings on this." She realized her own stubbornness was part of the problem and for him she'd temper it. For him.

He didn't know what to say. He was getting what he wanted, but it didn't feel right, or the way he thought it would.

"You are way more important to me than whatever this spirit wants." She reassured him.

"Just trying to keep you safe."

"I know, I know."

Her voice suddenly changed. when she said, "it's not far now." She took on a slow drawl and was pronouncing things differently.

He thought she was joking, playing around, when she took his hand and began to walk through the gate into the grassy yard. He waited for the punch line. It didn't come. She spoke seriously in someone else's voice.

Danni walked out a little farther into the field. She pulled him along with her, gripping his hand tightly.

"We had received word of General Bragg's refusal to retreat from the Union army. As a nurse, I had been ordered to meet the troops in Tennessee, but, I was searching for you, I felt that you would try to stay in Georgia near home and not retreat to Chattanooga. I did find you here amongst the others who had been lost as General Rosencrans pushed through the Confederate line."

She fell on her knees, and tenderly patted the grass as if there were something more under her hands.

"I searched among the the men left for dead. So many, left behind."

She fought back her tears

"Twentieth of September, 1863. We were here. But when I found you I was too late. I watched all light leave your eyes."

Her tears finally welled up. Daryl showed no flicker of emotion, as if he knew it as well. He continued to listen. She stood to face him.

"You kept your promise as did I. Our vows were forever and though painful to wait I have found you again, only not in passing."

She stood. "It broke my heart to wait. My wait is over. Our wait is over."

He saw her eyes change and her face relax. Her voice returned to its normal rhythm and cadence.

"What are we doing over here? Am I crying? " She felt her cheeks wet with tears.

"You asked me to follow you. You were saying all..." He stopped. "Do you remember anything you just said?"

"No, I...the last thing I remember was being back up there at the fence with you. What...what happened?" She wasn't frightened as much as curious about losing time he looked frightened. He knew she had to go back to that house.

"I'll go to that house with you. But we do it my way. You listen to me and be careful."

"Thank you."

Something strange was going on with both of them. Not her usual conjure stuff. His dreams, Rick's dream, now this? He wondered if he had to worry about it.

Danni gave him a sly look. " It might be good. We could get away and just be on our own for a little bit?' We never had a honeymoon."

He shook his head and winced at her. "See, this is what I'm talking about. This is dangerous shit. Jesus, you thinking about damn...honeymoon." He barely got the word out.

She laughed and he refused to smile but she saw his eyes looking thoughtful above his scowl.


	36. Honeymoon

_**I feel I know you from long ago**_  
_**from another millenium, from another heaven**_

_**Tell me if you still remember me,**_  
_**Just touching your hands**_  
_**I can reveal my soul.**_  
_**Tell me if you recognize my voice...**_

_**I feel you strip my mind,**_  
_**when you kiss my forehead**_  
_**Tell me if I wear marks from yesterday.**_

_**Just touching your hands**_  
_**I can reveal my soul.**_  
_**Tell me if you recognize my voice...**_

_**I feel I know you,**_  
_**and I feel that you remember me**_  
_**Tell me if you recognize my voice...**_

_**I feel I know you,**_  
_**I feel that you remember me**_  
_**Tell me if you recognize my voice...**_

_**-Adriana Mezzadr**_

"I know. I'm serious, don't worry." She pacified him. "Besides life with you is just one long honeymoon anyway." She gushed sarcastically.

"And don't forget it." Daryl countered in a smart ass tone. "You're freezing." He noticed Danni was shivering and her lips had a slight blue tinge. He took off his leather jacket and draped it over her shoulders pulling it tightly around her and steered her back across the yard to the prison door. Her trembling wasn't just from the cold night air she was chilled within her core.

"You don't remember anything you were saying?" He asked as they walked.

"No. I really don't." She answered between chattering teeth. "What was it?"

"I don't know... you were somebody else." After an indecisive silence he added, "You were telling me I was somebody else too."

"What made you change your mind about going back to the house?"

"The whole damn thing did. What's going on?"

"I don't know. I think she was here just now though."

A chill raced up his spine. "Maybe you oughta read some cards."

She nodded. It had been a while.

She kept his jacket on even when they were back inside. She was still frozen, he put a blanket over her legs.

"What I said to you, before, sorry." He mumbled.

She nodded. "Its okay."

"I didn't mean...

"I know."

"I'm not going..."

"You're here now."

"Can we..."

"Forget it? Yes."

"Its done?"

"Its done." She repeated.

"A month, huh?" He didn't count days or pay attention to time passing, the way she did.

"But its more like six months in Walker time." She added.

She felt everything had moved too fast. However, with the current state of the world, the old standard measure of time no longer applied. They were living in Walker time. She modeled her concept on dog years. If one human year equals seven dog years, then one month in Walker time is actually six. Everything speeds up when you are outrunning death.

_Six months. _Considering he'd never had a relationship with anyone before, Daryl thought it sounded pretty good.

"That's good huh?"

"Its great." She assured him. _Not for lack of trying though_. "Hand me my cards, will you?"

He did and watched her do her usual breathing, concentrating, shuffling and picking.

Seven of Cups. He handed her the reference book before she asked. She opened the page and began reading aloud._ "The Seven of Cups indicates that the images in your mind must be dealt with not only in your dreams but in the world of reality. Be careful of wishful thinking or illusions in the choices you now face. If you are constantly caught up in your own dreams, fantasies, and/or fears, you will never be able to move forward and make those dreams a reality or overcome those fears. With the Seven of Cups, there is a risk of delusion. You need to separate what is real from what is fallacy. Protect yourself against unclear or wishful thinking and habitual day dreaming. Avoid escapism and self-deception. This card shows the danger of choices and plans that have little or no basis in reality. When you try to carry out those ideas in the real world you are leaving yourself open to inevitable disappointment."_

"To be honest, I don't know what we're getting into or why we have to do this."

"From that card sounds like whatever it is, is trying to mess with you, make you forget about your own life. You gotta stay in this world, like I tell you. Danni, your other dreams were different. They brought us here, showed us about the troublemakers. Whatever this lady stuff is, it don't seem the same to me. It aint helping us. I just want to get you there and get this over and done. Get back to normal."

"Thanks for doing my reading." She shook her head and smiled. You're getting good at this." She teased.

"Go to sleep." He said noticing dark circles under her eyes and her face looking drawn, her features markedly sharper in the candlelight. He knew he'd worried her today. His shame waged an internal war with his relief that she stayed. She hadn't been pissed at him for leaving or yelling at her, she tried to...comfort him, that was the word. The way he'd acted, the things he'd said hadn't changed her feelings about him. No matter how long they'd been together it still felt new every time. Not bad but not quite good yet. He was still getting used to it.

He knew Danni never backed down from anything. Wasn't that what made him notice her in the first place; what made him start to love her? That thing with Ed, goddamn he'd never forget it. Son of a bitch was twice her size; hell if he hadn't thrown his knife he was almost sure she could have handled it on her own. But he did and that throw of the knife changed his life. He realized that she never backed down from **him**. She didn't let him get away with a damn thing, called him on his shit made him do all that stuff with people he hated. How did she do it? And why? _She loves me. Let her, just let her you idiot._

Danni lay curled up on her side, still nestled in his jacket, comforted by the feel and his smell. She had no dreams, or strange feelings. She slept soundly for the first time since this whole 'lady' business started. When Daryl joined her, he faced her as always, and watched her breath.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooo

"So two days? Maybe three?" Rick asked Daryl as he studied the route they'd mapped out.

"Yeah, I got an idea of where to head. Give us four days in case, don't want y'all panicking if we run later than that."

"You'll be okay out there that long?" Rick asked.

Daryl moved his head back, raised an eyebrow and stared.

"Yeah, of course you will." He went on. "T Dog found you something to drive that'll let you haul stuff back. He matched keys up from the Warden's office and guards' lockers to a bunch of cars still in the prison employee lot." Rick explained pointing to an older model Ford Explorer. T Dog had siphoned gas from some other cars to fill its tank as well as a gas can to bring if they got low on fuel.

"Are you sure you don't want T to go along, or Glenn?"

Daryl nodded. "You'll need them here."

After some silence Daryl asked. "Hey have any more of them dreams?"

Rick was surprised. "Yeah actually. But in the one last night I got most of the men out, the sides of the trench were more solid. I managed better. Damnedest thing though. Never was much for dream interpretation, but all this, keeping us going, is getting to me a little I guess."

As Danni put the few days worth of provisions Carol had packed for them into the back of the suv Sophia approached. She whispered. "The lady says thank you."

Danni crouched down to face her. "She knows?"

"Yes and so do I but I won't tell anybody don't worry. She says she's in you now."

Danni felt cold again. "Well, take good care of Fionn for me okay?"

As far as the rest of the group knew, Daryl was taking her on a run to find a Wal-Mart or box store to get baby supplies and other necessities Rick had listed out for him. It was true, they just omitted the part about the detour back to the abandoned plantation house.

Daryl surprised her when took the keys from her hand ready to do the driving. Back with the band it had always been a rock paper scissors, flip a coin, short straw situation.

"We can split the driving." She offered.

He shrugged. "I got it."

As he started the engine she settled in the passenger seat and propped her boots on the dash.

"I'm great at road trips. Touring was one long road trip. Months of living on bad coffee, diet coke, potato chips and power bars. Gas station food. Oh and then cleaning up in truck stop bathrooms, nasty. We'd get lost half the time and barely make it to sound check."

"This is only gonna be a day or two, you know that right?" He asked.

"We should have music and snacks." She added wistfully.

"Its gonna be a long day." He complained shaking his head. "You gonna drive me crazy the whole way?"

"You have no idea." She reached over and mussed his hair. "Poor thing..." She said with a tone of exaggerated pity.

"Watch it." He moved back pretending to be annoyed.

Miles and trees passed as they sped along the asphalt. Danni opened the window to let in the brisk air hit her face, she smelled rain coming. Every so often they'd see Walkers limping up the sides of the road shuffling single file or in group formation. Every so often, they detoured around abandoned cars in the middle of their route. Reminders that they weren't in the old world.

Danni found some old cds under her seat.  
"My karaoke song! Shit this is awesome." She opened the Pink greatest hits. "Whenever we were at club with karaoke this was** mine**. I owned it"" She put the cd in and advanced it.

"You gonna torture me now?" He asked sarcastically, liking when she got excited and acted like she was a little kid.

"No I'm good, really. I can hit every note. People would request me."

She sang with the CD,

Made a wrong turn once or twice  
Dug my way out, blood and fire  
Bad decisions, that's alright  
Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood  
Miss 'No way, it's all good'  
It didn't slow me down.  
Mistaken, always second guessing  
Underestimated, look I'm still around

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
Like you're less than fucking perfect  
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

You're so mean when you talk  
About yourself. You were wrong.  
Change the voices in your head  
Make them like you instead.

So complicated,  
Look how we all make it.  
Filled with so much hatred  
Such a tired game  
It's enough, I've done all I could think of  
Chased down all my demons  
I've seen you do the same

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
Like you're less than fucking perfect  
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me

The whole world's scared, so I swallow the fear  
The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer  
So cool in lying and we try, try, try but we try too hard  
And it's a waste of my time.  
Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere  
They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair  
Exchange ourselves and we do it all the time  
Why do we do that, why do I do that?

I'm pretty, pretty, pretty

Pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel  
Like you're less than fucking perfect  
Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel  
Like you're nothing, you're fucking perfect to me  
-Pink

"I should have been a pop princess and made a million bucks, instead of sticking to rock and well, not making a million dollars that's for sure. But seriously I do love that song. Apparently she wrote it when she was pregnant with her daughter; wrote it for her baby."

Daryl just listened, half paying attention, realizing she made him happy. She really did and he was finally admitting it to himself.

After some more driving they shifted into shared comfortable silence . Finally, Daryl hesitated but said, "Andrea came on to me the other day. I think she did anyway." He wanted to get it out.

"What? You let her? Dammit Daryl, after Truly I thought you'd have learned your lesson!"

"I'm... I'm just being honest here, I ..." he became flustered, and stared at the road.

"You promised me! What, were you thinking with your dick again!"

"Jesus. I didn't do ..."

He glanced over to find Danni was full on smiling and when he caught her she started laughing.

At first he wanted to be pissed but her smile got to him and he knew she was giving him shit like she was supposed to. It had been a while.

"Maggie told me she's been doing it with everybody. Even Rick. That's low. Well with you too, really. low."

"So you don't care?"

"You know for some reason I don't. She's always had it out for me but I can't see you with her. She's not that kind of threat to me."

"Yeah what is she like fifty or something?" He asked.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo

They arrived at the old house in mid afternoon. Clouds were beginning to overtake the sun and rain would move in soon.

Nothing had changed outside of the place since they'd left it weeks before. She took in the overgrown front yard, giant magnolia tree by the low porch its columns peeling paint framing the dark green screen door off its hinges. The fields stretched out for miles beyond the waist-high wooden rail fence reinforced with chicken wire. She felt an affection for the place like she had the first time they were here. She and Daryl walked the perimeter of the yard, scanning for Walkers in the back and nearby field. Nothing. A couple of kids bikes caught his eye laying on their side at the edge of the dirt driveway that led to the dilapidated barn behind the house. He stood over them and stared down at the rusted handlebars and chipped paint on the frames. He gently kicked one front tire with the toe of his boot. He'd never had a bike growing up. He was the only kid in the neighborhood without one.

"We going in?" Danni asked interrupting his reverie.

"Yeah."

She followed him as he walked room to room, ensuring the place was as clear as it was the last time they'd been here. It seemed that no one and nothing had been inside since the group spent the night. When they reached the second floor, Danni expected to see the owl in the bedroom like last time, but it was gone. The house was clear.

"Now what?" He called up the stairs to her after he'd brought their back packs in and let them thump to the floor of the living room.

Danni had no idea. Now that she was here she wasn't getting any sense of direction about where to look or what she was even looking for.

She was still in the bedroom, wandering, looking at the tilted paintings hanging haphazardly on the burgundy painted walls. Mostly landscapes. She began to strip the mattress of its dusty bedding. She knew there were fresh linens in the wooden hope chest at its foot. She'd taken a few with her last time she was here. She made up the antique iron bed with fresh sheets and a blanket. She wasn't passing up the opportunity to sleep in a real bed. She kept straightening the room. She couldn't help herself. She picked up the overturned rocking chair, aligned the bedside tables and gathered up the broken lamp, scattered books, papers and odd items of clothing, putting them in a pile in the corner. There were plenty of candles all over the house. The family had obviously tried to last without electricity for a while. Danni arranged a couple on each nightstand and on the bureau against the far wall. She pulled the curtains open and looked outside as the rain began to fall gently at first then it beat against the glass as if it were angry.

"It aint your house." Daryl's voice came from behind her. He'd watched her from the doorway for the past few minutes without her noticing.

"I know." She turned her head toward him and sounded almost defensive.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooo

She headed to the sitting room where she'd found the pictures and Sophia had first seen the lady. She sat on the settee and waited.

"Look what I found in the kitchen. Daryl said holding up an unopened bottle of Wild Turkey as he turned the corner. "Wonder why we didn't notice last time."

"We were in a hurry then. Hey don't go too..."

"I know, I'll stay ready. Don't worry 'bout me." He added "Sorry you can't. Never drank with you before."

"You wouldn't want to. I'm mean drunk and all I wanna do is fight. I have some stories..." _I don't miss it one bit. A million years ago._

Daryl leaned against the door frame watching her. "I wanna hear those."

"Maybe someday. Hey, thanks for doing this." She said.

He shrugged. "I'm gonna check all the doors and windows again, secure 'em, nothing will get in while we're here." Before he left he added, "Maybe she'll talk to you without me around?"

He said it seriously. She loved him so much.

Danni stood and wandered to a wall of bookshelves. She ran her fingers over the dusty spines. Some old, hardcover classics, Dickens, to Faulkner to Hemingway. History books and some newer modern books the Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings series. Quite a variety. She guessed this house had been in the same family since it was built. The last generation seemed to be collectors of antiques and cared about family heirlooms. A title near the older antique hardcovers caught her eye.** The Complete Book of Fortune Telling**. She pulled it from the shelf and carefully opened the leather-bound book, its pages yellowed and fragile with age. Printed in 1860. Inside the front cover was a name written in formal script, Lorelei MacGowan.

_Lorelei was the name Daryl was saying in his sleep. _Instead of feeling afraid, Danni felt she was on the right track somehow. She flipped through the pages and let her finger stop randomly to read a message from a 100+-year-old fortune-telling book.

The page she stopped at said. _"Good fortune surrounds you. Have courage and faith for it is time to move boldly into your life's destiny. Take the reigns."_

She smiled. It was like a fortune cookie. Then she felt something taped inside the back cover. It was a key. It was not the shape or size of a door key. It looked like the key to a box or a trunk. A trunk. _Where would someone keep a trunk? Attic, right?_

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_

There was still some fading daylight steaming through the dusty windows but it was gray and dim so as Daryl walked ahead of her he used the light on his crossbow to move through the cluttered, dusty attic strewn with unused furniture, paintings, and boxes. They stumbled, climbed over and squeezed by the forgotten items of domesticity. The rain drummed on the roof, and the rustling and scratching of mice in the walls and raccoons and possibly squirrels in the eaves made Daryl want shoot something.

Finally in the northwest corner of the attic his light shone on an old wooden trunk with a key hole on its latch.

She held the bow while he carried the wooden box down to the sitting room.

When opened, the trunk emitted a musty odor but it was mixed with that gardenia smell. Daryl lay stretched out on the couch half paying attention, while she sat on the floor in front of it, carefully going through the contents. A leather-bound journal, a pile of yellowing hand written letters wrapped in blue ribbon, an antique blue crystal bottle of perfume. Gardenia perfume. She smelled the scent that had followed her through the prison. Underneath was A grey confederate soldiers uniform, cleaned, but faded blood stains remained. There was a bullet hole through the left breast pocket. Danni fingered it gently feeling something stiff inside the pocket. She removed a tintype; it was the lady, her image tattered, burned and pierced by same bullet sharing the hole with the pocket. "Are you Lorelei?" She whispered.

She lay the uniform jacket aside, and found the bottom of the trunk covered by a folded confederate flag and an official looking envelope. Inside was a soldiers regiment roll card.

Dixon, John

REGIMENT NAME:

59th Regiment, Georgia Infantry

SIDE:

Confederate

COMPANY:

C

SOLDIER'S RANK IN:

Private

SOLDIER'S RANK OUT:

Private/killed at Chickamauga, Georgia 1864

ALTERNATE NAME:

John/Dickson

Danni's hands shook. _What the fu..?_

Folded beneath was an obviously pre-written letter from General Robert E Lee to the family with John Dixon Private in the blank space. It was not really a death notice, but a letter of apology, saying their boy died heroically in the battle of Chickamauga September 20 1864.

"Daryl." She whispered.

He leaned forward. "What, you okay?"

She held out the papers to him. He sat back on the couch behind where she was on the floor by the trunk. He studied them, then handed them back to her. He didn't look surprised or shocked.

She did, her eyes were wide waiting for him to say something.

"You know how many Dixons been in Georgia?" He finally explained."For all I know this guy's my great whatever uncle or some shit like that."

"But, what are the odds of...isn't this a little...why aren't you reacting to this?"

"Because there's nothing I can do about it. It don't matter to me. It's not changing anything."

"It's not making you feel weird at all?"

He sighed. "All right fine. I had a dream, two I guess." He considered that thing in the woods a dream. "You watched me die in one."

"Did you call me Lorelei?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Because that's her name."

He didn't say anything.

"Why are we here, why did I find all this stuff?" Danni shook her head. "She wanted me to. Lorelei. Sophia told me something the other night. She said the lady** is** me. So you still don't believe in reincarnation, huh?"

"Are you saying..."

"We are them."

"What if we are?"

She wasn't sure what to say. What did it mean?

He shook his head. "Nothing to say? I'll say it then, don't change nothing for us." He repeated what had become his mantra.

Danni wasn't sure if she could take anymore but suddenly gardenia filled the room and she felt cold. Something compelled her to read the first letter in the stack out loud.

"Lorelei, If our worst fear occurs and I do not return, know I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name.

If the dead can come back to this earth as you have made me believe they can, I honor our vow and I will always be near you; in bright days and in the dark nights. if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans you it shall be my spirit passing by.

Lorelei, do not mourn me dead, wait for me, we shall meet again. If I must I will watch you from the spirit land while you bear life's storms with your strength and will, and wait with sad patience till we meet and part no more.

John"

Danni finished the letter with shaking hands. She felt light-headed and let the papers fall to the floor. She looked at Daryl expectantly. _How can he look skeptical?_

"Nice story, but all I know is this life, what I gotta do to survive, keep us safe today, tomorrow." He stood up. "What you found, is it gonna set something right?"

"I think so. Don't you care?"

"For you. I want you to be settled with all this. We still gotta go on that run, get back to the prison."

"I wish we could stay here." She said a little wistfully.

"We can't. I brought you here so you could fix what ever this is and end it. Get back to normal."

She nodded. "I just can't understand how you can be so unmoved."

"I know you can't. Look Danni, don't spend so much time thinking about other people's lives that you forget to live yours, this one." His voice was thoughtful, softer and more scratched than usual. She almost missed it when he added in an even lower tone, "We gotta get ready for our kids."

He stood up. "Do what you got to. I'll be upstairs." He said with affection, supporting her in his own way. His words made her remember the Seven of Cups.

_With the Seven of Cups, there is a risk of illusion. You need to separate what is real from what is illusion. Protect yourself against unclear or wishful thinking and habitual day dreaming. Avoid escapism._

She hesitantly picked up the journal. The pages were water stained, ink had run from many of the passages but she made out some sections

_He says nothing to me but I am told he is made happy by my presence. _

She turned the page.

_Finally kissing for hours underneath the sweet magnolia. I was too forward perhaps but all with good results. _

She flipped through, looking for readable sentences and paragraphs. It was all so random.

_The men got their war. If I cannot be his wife than I will be his widow. If he does not return I will be his for all eternity bound by vows of forever. _

_My nature refuses to allow me to stay here and do nothing while he remains in the throes of fighting. His letters tell me less as time passes. He is consumed and does not want to relay the horror to me.  
I leave for South Carolina in the morning with the local war aid nurses. Daddy worries and Mama weeps but know me too well to expect they could stop me. I will fight my own way, but fight for him. I will never surrender or back down from my fight or search._

Danni almost missed it. A small carved wooden box sat almost covered by the corner of the flag at the bottom of the trunk. She opened it to find two rings. One a man's heavy gold wedding band and a smaller delicate woman's version. She hesitated but slipped on the smaller ring. It fit perfectly. She felt almost shy and she quickly pulled it off and returned it to the box.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooo

_The way he gently cradled the infant was so natural; like he'd done it a million times before._

_Although the baby was swaddled in a blanket, warm against the cell block's constant chill, Daryl insisted on wrapping one of his flannel shirts around her too._

_"You like that, huh?" he asked with tenderness as the baby sucked contentedly on the bottle he held. Pacing back and forth slowly, he kept looking up at Danni with an expectant, proud smile. "Like that, little troublemaker?" He raised his eyebrows at her and she nodded. He gazed back down. "You like that sweetheart? Yeah, course you do. Daddy's got ya, I got ya."_

_Every face from Rick to Herschel to Andrea and Glenn had the same look of amused but tender, disbelief. Only Carol wore a knowing smile. Danni held and tried to soothe their fussy son, but stood up ready to trade with Daryl who could settle both babies down almost effortlessly._

_"Yeah, that's my little girl, there you go." He handed her to Danni who smiled tenderly at him as he took the boy, who'd started to cry loudly. "Your turn, come on little man. I got ya."_

Danni rolled over and opened her eyes. She'd fallen asleep on the couch only half way through Lorelei's journal. The dream reflected his earlier words, We gotta get ready for our kids. He was going to be a really great dad. One of the good ones. She felt some kicking. They know it too.

She sleepily reviewed the day in her mind. She'd come here, found these things and she hoped put something in order for Lorelei. If she and Daryl were the reincarnated souls of these two people, she'd brought Lorelei to John.

"Is this enough? Is this what you wanted me to do?" Danni asked aloud. "To know you and bring you two together?"

Only silence answered her, but she realized she was no longer cold.

She moved to the window. The rain streaming down the panes and the blackness of the night beyond, prevented Danni from seeing anything but her own reflection. Her vision became hazy. When it cleared the image staring back from the window was the lady; it was Lorelei. She was smiling. Behind her John appeared looking so much like Daryl, she did a double take. He was in his uniform free of bloodstains, he protectively put his hands on her ...Lorelei's shoulders and nodded the way Daryl did. Danni was frozen and didn't dare turn.

"Thank you for giving us back to each other."

She heard the woman's voice loud and clear. Danni opened her mouth to answer, but nothing came out. The images faded from the window pane until only she remained staring into her own eyes. Where she had felt such a chill for so long of late she now felt a comforting warmth surge through her, from head to toe.

Daryl was right, they had a lot more of their own living to do. He could always ground her; he kept her from falling away from herself, from this world.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o

He sat on the bed, cross-legged leaning back against the iron scroll of the frame, watching her enter. She stopped to let her eyes adjust to the dim light. He slowly tilted his chin back giving her a slight grin, one corner of his mouth drawing up.

"Finish all them letters?" He smiled. The light from the candle made his skin glow and his crystal blue eyes twinkled even more than usual.

"Are you drunk?" She asked amused.

"No." He tried to take on his hard, serious expression, but his eyes gave him away.

Every time she looked at him she fell in love again.

"Yes you are." She sat beside him. "You're smiling too much not to be."

"Not drunk, just drinking." He took another swig from the bottle feeling more relaxed with every shot.

"You aren't gonna come down with whiskey dick on me tonight?" she teased. "Although, the saying my friends and I had is that when a man is drunk he either can't get it up or can't get it down. And there is no in between."

"Be good for you if was then, bet I'd last hours."

Danni laughed, surprised. She knew he must be a little drunk to say that. "Oh really?" it can go the other way too you know. It is rampant among rock musicians, I can't tell you how many..."

He grabbed her, pushed her under him and gruffly breathed in her face "I love when you talk, when you tell me to fuck you, tell me to cum, I fucking love it. Every goddamn sound you make."

He was buzzed. She had to admit, she liked his forcefulness; it was different and made her stomach flip in anticipation; she trembled a little.

"Say it now.'

She shook her head teasingly while she smiled against his mouth.

They lay together on a bed, in a house that in another life, another time could have offered a normalcy they'd never know together. Life now was not so simple, there were no more houses with white picket fences. It was hard to explain the sadness she felt when they were in a situation that echoed the reality of life before Walkers. She missed something they never had. These brief stolen moments of mundane life were hard. Is it worse to have a thing and lose it or never have a thing at all? Danni also knew they'd never had found each other back then when life was normal. As the sadness came over her she noticed his scent and she breathed in deeply, willing herself not to close her eyes and answer him, reach for him. He was too drunk for this. She forced herself to wait even though the ache, her sadness made her want him more, he was her cure for it. _Keep your hands to yourself, girl. _ Daryl smelled like no other guy she'd ever met, an intoxicating combination of leather, acrid fresh dirt, sweet grass, salty sweat, lately cigarettes and right now whiskey. It was the smell that comforted her the most, helped her sleep, calmed her fears.

"Say it." he growled in her ear interrupting her thoughts and trying to break her down.

"You're wasted, lets wait."

As if to show her he wasn't, he pulled her back up and moved on to his knees, He reached out and wrapped his fingers gently around her wrist so he could feel her pulse racing. He looked down into her eyes.

"Just havin' some fun." He said.

"Okay then." She answered as she pulled his thumb into her mouth and closed her lips around it. His next breath caught in his lungs and he could feel the blood pounding in his ears and elsewhere, liquor or no liquor.

She ran her tongue over his thumb and pulled softly backwards as she let it slide out from between her lips feeling the roughly chewed skin of his cuticle. He looked down at her face. God, she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. Her eyes were closed and her cheeks were flushed.

He pressed his hands on her knees and she slid hers up to his shoulders. His mouth was warm against hers and as they kissed her lips opened more and his tongue moved slowly, but deliberately; she tasted whiskey and smelled it on his hot breath. He was looser with her but more urgent and he definitely wasn't having difficulty with his erection; she felt it digging into her thigh. She sighed softly as he slid his hands up over her thighs to her hips then around her back pressing firmly against her spine. She dropped her head back tossing her hair away, exposing her neck. His lips moved down, tenderly kissing a line from her shoulder to just under her ear. He could feel her nails digging into his arms, her breathing quickened and he heard "Daryl," her voice a raspy whisper. They were both on their knees now. She opened her eyes halfway as he drew away to look at her. His hands moved slowly under her shirt, her smooth skin hot to his touch. He pulled it off and unbuttoned his own wanting her bare flesh against his. She pushed his shirt off and pressed against him while reaching her hands up to the back of his neck, and pulling his lips towards her own. "I'm begging you." She whispered. "Fuck me before I start crying."

"What?"

It was too late, tears started to fall.

She shook her head "I read her journal, they only had one night, their wedding night, and he had to leave and then she found him, but he was dead and I..."

He kissed and licked the tears from her cheeks. "If everything you've been saying is true then it looks like they're having a second one right now. Let's make it good for 'em, huh?"

"You believe me..." she said into his mouth as it covered hers. He supposed he believed everything she ever said and always would; but he'd keep her grounded.

"Fuck me. Please."_ Fix me please. _She said as he rushed to remove the rest of her clothing.

Her hands struggled to remain on his sweaty back, likewise for her weakening legs that were scissored around his midriff. He had to arch his back a little. The missionary position was getting a little more difficult for them. This might be one of the last times she could enjoy her favorite most intimate way to fuck. Every time he thrust her heels would dig into his back, and the tell-tale sign that he was about to get her off arrived when her toes curled inward.

All of her senses, with exception of touch, diminished into the background. Gone was Daryl's laboured breathing, his rich smell of whiskey and leather, the pitter patter of rain, and the monotonous, overly obvious we-are-fucking creak of the bed, leaving Danni to focus on little else other than the scorching white heat pulsing between her thighs.

Still pressed cheek-to-cheek, her soft whimpers flowed directly into Daryl's ear, seeming to spur him on. He was so close to finishing her off he began to think about his own release.

"Can't last much longer..." he rasped, although his voice was somewhat distant and barely registered.  
"Thought you were gonna go forever." She whispered teasingly.  
Convulsions suddenly afflicted her lower body, jarring her hips against Daryl's with his every downward thrust. A low, guttural mewling clawed its way up her throat and fell from her raw from kissing lips, which became stifled when she pressed her mouth to Daryl's neck and proceeded to nip at his flesh, giving him a couple of well-aimed love bites.

"Yes, it's now..." she was almost crying, losing control and letting her need for release reign.  
Nothing but the aching pleasure shooting through her groin registered.  
With her eyes screwed tightly shut and her husky swears filling the room, Danni's body went into spasms She jerked and writhed up against Daryl's slippery torso, until finally, having spent almost every ounce of energy available in her sex-addled body she managed a final gasp and unceremoniously collapsed to mattress.  
Still trembling slightly from the minor aftershocks of her powerful climax, Danni eased open her eyes and gazed up at Daryl's face. "Hi," she smiled, ruffling his messy hair with one hand while affectionately stroking his cheek with the other.

"Hi yourself," he moaned. His brow was etched in deep concentration and covered in a light sheen of sweat.  
Although sated by her mind-numbing orgasm, she was content to allow him continued unlimited access. The empty void within both her heart and soul continued to be obliterated by Daryl giving her physical completion.

She snatched up a handful of his damp locks and pulled his mouth down to hers. At first his lips were notably hard, but after a full minute of wet, soulful kissing, Danni managed to soften them up.

The movement of his hips suddenly became erratic, haphazardly grinding into her with a clumsy urgency that saw his thrusts fall out of rhythm.

She took his face in her hands and encouraged him to tear his trembling lips away from hers. "Baby," she said, offering him a peculiar smile, "I want you to go right ahead and fuck me until you cum hard in me, real hard." Knowing her cussing would do some major damage to the tenuous grip Daryl had on his orgasm. "**Please** fuck me hard."

An anguished moan preceded the simultaneous tension of every muscle in his body; including the one between his legs. Moments later, after slamming his entire length into her, cancelling his ritual of retreating until only the tip remained embedded, Daryl shuddered violently in her arms as she clenched in anticipation.

"That's it, go ahead and cum," she sighed, planting a delicate kiss on his mouth.  
Proving to be the epitome of obedience, seconds later he did. He jerked against her steely embrace, emitting a satisfied ""Aw Jesus Christ, fuck... Danni..."  
Then, silence descended on them like a swooping bat, and once he'd moved off her he opened his eyes and gazed at her. Her beautiful now green ones started to glisten, eventually spilling tears from the corners which tracked wet pathways down her cheeks.  
All he could do was hold her.

They listened to the rain beat against the window. Occasionally they would kiss or touch one another, but mostly they lay there in a contemplative hush looking into the other's eyes. As usual, verbally describing what had taken place would only serve to demean the emotion behind it. Mere words were inadequate. Their truth could only be expressed in a look, touch or kiss. He realized it was the only time she really stopped talking. The only time she wasn't going on and on about something or other. He would have laughed but then she'd ask him why and he really just wanted her to stay quiet.

The silence was eventually broken, of all things, as Daryl said, "I gotta take a piss."  
Danni kissed him tenderly. "Hurry up."

"Yeah," he said, slipping from between her thighs and kneeling in front of her.  
Her sleek legs, trembled as he hesitated a minute to admire the view.

Now realizing how different her pregnant body must look to him, she began lacking self-confidence; having previously been able to shed her insecurities with her intense desire for him.

For the first time Danni struggled with the temptation to cover up her body. She started to pull the blanket.

"You cold?" he asked with a frown.  
"No, I'm just embarrassed, that's all."  
"About what?"he asked, clearly perplexed.  
A heated blush ignited in her cheeks, and for the first time ever she had to avert her gaze. "My body," she whispered, nervously tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ears.  
Daryl padded along the mattress on all fours until he was beside her laying a gentle hand on her belly.  
"It's not, I'm not..." she began, knowing her navel ring would need to come out soon, the sparrows were becoming stretched and hidden by her expanding middle. She knew how much he liked those things. And to top it all off it was getting harder to have him on top and that's how they liked it best.

"Stop." He said.

"It's just that I look so..."

"Shut up." He said with affection.

She knew it was his way of telling her she was beautiful no matter what.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o  
They slept late the next morning and spent the day lounging in bed, needing the rest. They pressed against one another their heads sharing the same pillow. Talk often centered on the babies, what they'd be like who they'd take after.

"I think she'll be a daddy's girl."

"Yeah? Merle said I aint daddy material. Neither is he, we weren't raised right for it."

"Daryl you're gonna be a good father." She turned on her side to face him. "I never wanted kids before. I always said it was because I didn't want the parent lifestyle, I am not domestic or my career was more important. Stuff like that. Truth is, I was afraid I'd be my mother. I'd have no idea what to do with a kid, a baby. I'd be just as horrible as my mother. Daryl, I hate my mother." It felt good to say it.

He nodded. "You'll be a good mom. Don't worry. Sounds like that nana of yours showed you something. Look at you with Sophia and Carl."

"You too." She went on. "Because the troublemakers are yours, I wouldn't want to change anything. Even with the world the way it is, I wouldn't change being pregnant. I wouldn't even want to have the world back the way it was if it meant I wouldn't be with you."

"Yeah?" He asked, knowing he felt that way, but moved that she'd actually said those words to him.

They continued to reveal and revisit fears and reassured each other that they'd be the best parents they could.

"We haven't talked about names yet." She mentioned.

"Figure you already have them picked out."

"What? No, we have to do it together."

"You do though, don't ya?" He asked, smiling knowingly up at the ceiling.

"Well..."

Day melted into night, and still the rain descended from the heavens like it was attempting to cleanse the world. He caressed the back of her neck with his rough hands.

"Forever," she murmured. "I want you to stay here with me forever." She knew that in the morning they needed to head back. Get the supplies and return to their life.

He drank more from the bottle of whiskey on the bedside table as they lay together talking. It was unlike him, but maybe this was a sort of honeymoon after all. He didn't get sloppy drunk or overly talkative so much as his body lost its tension, he was looser and actually seemed to relax. For the second time that night they made love, their bodies sliding together in a perfect fit. The soft amber glow from the bedside candles illuminated everything she needed to see: Daryl loving her with every fibre of his being, moving in and out of her with such a restrained rhythm that he probably wouldn't climax for hours. It was his idea to challenge himself and that saying of hers to see just how long could last. She didn't argue. She'd repeated to him that if he could still get it up after drinking as much as he had, he was likely not to be able to get it down for a while. She was right.

Two orgasms later and with a third hovering just beyond the horizon, Danni noticed the candles' flames jumping and leaping wildly and smelled gardenia. She knew she'd put things in order.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo

Cool clear skies ushered in the morning as rain moved out and the sun took over. Daryl had put their backpacks in the explorer. "That it?" He asked joining her on the front porch, wondering if she was thinking about bringing that whole trunk with her.

"Yeah." They stood taking a minute to look out at the fields behind the wooden rail fence. She had folded the letters and pictures into the old journal, and secured them with the bottle of perfume in her back pack earlier.

"Would you do something for me?" _For me and for her. This is my life after all._

He waited.

She took his left hand and slid the heavy gold band onto his ring finger. It fit perfectly. "Wear this forever." She put the smaller more delicate ring on her own finger also, like it was made for her.

He had a lump in his throat. "Where? Are these..."

"Theirs yeah, ours, I mean." Her brow was furrowed.

She felt the ring on her finger and hoped she'd done enough. Her life was calling now. She had to put her family first. They were waiting back at the prison.

_With the Seven of Cups, there is a risk of illusion. You need to separate what is real from what is illusion_. She had no illusions about her future anymore.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_"So my brother and little queenie here huh? Well, well well. Fry me in butter and call me a catfish."_

_"Glenn tell you?" Danni asked._

_"I never thought Daryl'd have the balls to make a move on you darlin'." Merle started laughing loudly. "Never!" He began to get carried away. After a few more guffaws he composed himself. "I'm proud of him though, don't get me wrong. Now, if it was up to me I'd have gone for that sweet little blonde thing, but my baby brother's always been a little different."_

_Danni rolled her eyes. He caught it._

_"You know I'm the only thing standing between you and some pretty hard ass men on the other side of that door right?"_

_She nodded. "Thanks."_

_"I ain't doin' this for you queenie. I'm doing it for Daryl. Let's get that straight right now."_

_He pushed her back against the wall roughly._

_"Watch it, I'm pregnant!" she hissed in his face._

_Merle's eyed widened and he stepped back. "You're...?" Under his breath he said "Damn Daryl." After a pause he asked "Is it his?"_

_"What the fuck do you think?"_

_"I don't know you, what kinda gal you are. As I recall there were other men in that Atlanta group. Officer Rick, that other cop buddy of his, who else? You coulda been running around all over on my brother."_

_"Its his."_

_"Enough chit chatting." He almost seemed flustered, but only for second._

_"If I'm gonna get you out of here we gotta make this look good. Now I ain t gonna hurt you much. And not..." He looked down at her stomach covered by the oversized sweatshirt. "Don't worry 'bout that."_

_She understood and nodded. "Okay hit me." She tilted her face up._

_"I ain't messin' up those green eyes. Bet my brother likes looking in your pretty eyes." Then he struck a blow to the lower side of her face, his knuckles cutting her lips. and leaving angry red abrasions on her cheek. He repeated it on the other side._

_"Sorry honey."_

_She shook her head and got her bearings, the taste of blood filling her mouth. She spat out red saliva. "My turn?"_

_"Hell yeah darlin' take your best shot. Be good if you leave some scratches too. "_

**_No problem._**_ Danni thought. __No problem at all._

"Whoa, whoa, whoa its me!"

Danni awoke to find Daryl holding her arm back, preventing her from belting hom across the face.

"Huh?"

She was in the passenger seat of the SUV. the engine was off.

"We're here." He said. She still looked out of it. "Remind me never to wake you up again. Dream?"

"One of my old ones."

"No lady shit?"

"No, no lady shit." She smiled weakly, feeling queasy.

_Just some Merle shit starting up again. _


	37. A Better Mother

_****This story is really strengthened by you followers and readers. You are all amazing and I am so happy my writing is touching you.** **_

__**_***Verostar1221 motivated me to finish this chapter. A PM can do wonders-Thank you! xo _****_(The timing of your message leaves no doubt we are cosmically connected)_**

**_***I may have to cut back to once weekly updates. It's not set in stone, but my memoir classes have begun again and this story is taking time away from my 'homework'. I'd rather write about Danni than myself TBH ;} hee hee_**

**_Please know, I'm NOT stopping or putting the story on hiatus, there may just be a little bit more of a wait between updates than usual. D and D's story is going on until the page that says The End. _**

**_*Thanks as always for being here reading, messaging, & reading and reviewing. _**

**_Love to you all._**

**_xx_**

**_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo _**

**_Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't move_**

**_Awake but cannot open my eyes_**

**_And the weight is crushing down on my lungs I know I can't breathe_**

**_And hope someone will help me this time_**

**_Your mother's still calling you insane and high_**

**_Swearing it's different this time_**

**_And you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her_**

**_And that god never blessed her insides_**

**_Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things_**

**_And crawl back into bed to dream of a time_**

**_When your heart was open wide and you loved things just because_**

**_Like the sick and the dying_**

**_And sometimes when you're on you're really fucking on_**

**_And your friends they sing along and they love you_**

**_But the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap_**

**_And it teases you for weeks in its absence_**

**_But you'll fight and you'll make it through_**

**_You'll fake it if you have to_**

**_And you'll show up for work with a smile_**

**_And you'll be better you'll be smarter_**

**_More grown up and a better daughter_**

**_Or son and a real good friend_**

**_And you'll be awake and you'll be alert_**

**_You'll be positive though it hurts_**

**_And you'll laugh and embrace all your friends_**

**_And you'll be a real good listener_**

**_You'll be honest you'll be brave_**

**_You'll be handsome you'll be beautiful_**

**_You'll be happy_**

**_-Rilo Kiley 'A Better Son/Daughter'_**

***Jenny Lewis wrote this frickin' awesome song but here in the fictional world of D and D lets just say Danni did ;) I feel Danni could have!***

_Do I need to worry about Merle? If he 's alive and out there..._

Danni's gut told her he was; no premonition in her life had ever been as convincing as this one. Apprehension hadn't held her chest hostage like this from a dream in ages. Was he going to waltz back in and fuck everything up?

Daryl snapped his fingers in front of her face. "You listening to me?"

"Yeah, you said...fuck, I don't know what you said. What did you say?"

"Should I be worrying about you?"

"No." She lied wanting to hug him and tell him she was terrified of his brother coming back and ruining their lives. The last time she brought up a Merle dream Daryl had wanted to go searching for him. If Merle was heading their way she wasn't going to hasten his arrival. What the hell will Daryl do?

"I'm just tired." After what they'd endured over the past week, she longed for an unexciting, mundane stretch of life, finally settled back at the prison. _Well, as calm and normal as possible,_ she added to herself, seeing three ragged, shuffling corpses in the field behind the store.

They drove up to the front entrance. There was no way to open the automatic sliding doors without electricity. Daryl peered inside, and in the dim light, noticed the store looked comparatively. untouched.

"We should probably drive around back. I bet there is an employee door. It might be open, or at least, will be easier to break into. Then the car will be right there to load and get away fast if we need to." She said, so he'd stop glancing over at her with that concerned scowl.

Once in the rear of the lot, they parked next to a dented, graffiti covered metal door. The entrance was locked. "Danni!" He called out to her. "Crowbar or somethin'?"

She found one in the back of the explorer threw it to him.

He jimmied the door open from the frame. It had already been compromised by someone else's failed attempts.

They walked through the back room, stacked with boxes. Daryl was in front of her. She nodded at him to open the next door, and they both stepped through, alert. They moved slowly into the foyer area of the store and took in the layout. Sections were separated by categories like clothes, food, electronics and hardware. It was like any old regular Wal-Mart or Target.

"Look at this place," Danni whispered, "It's hardly been looted at all."

Except for the cash registers. Every one was smashed or on the floor, opened and empty of cash. It was ironic that the first thing people thought of was money. Money was the least valuable thing in this new existence.

They each pushed a shopping cart, Daryl one-handed, his crossbow in his hand not on his back, ready, in case. They hit the baby section. Danni pulled out the list.

"Those." she pointed to the portable crib playpen contraption Carol had described. "That's on here. Carol said two." Daryl put the large boxes of the to be assembled porta cribs across the top of his cart.

Danni stared at the onesies. She began putting a bunch of basic white ones in the carriage. Daryl pushed in beside her and picked up a pink one.

"Right?" He asked. He grabbed a couple more girlie ones and repeated himself. "Right?"

"I told you she's gonna be a daddy's girl. "

He started wandering the infant toddler rack and Danni noticed him putting what seemed like every damn piece of pink clothing on the racks into her cart.

"She'll be dressed til she's a teenager."

He turned and said, "Damn right." With the biggest, most natural smile Danni had ever seen on his face in the entire time she'd known him.

He was gonna love his little girl. "What about **him**?" Danni teased.

She followed Daryl's lead and grabbed a bunch of clothing that the kids could grow into. They might never have this chance again.

Danni was relieved that they were able to get everything on the list from bigger items like the cribs and carrier/car seats to the smaller, bottles, pacifiers, towels, diapers, wipes and even the breast pump which made her wince, but she realized it would allow Daryl to feed the babies too, with a bottle, like in her dream. He'd want to do that. She knew it.

They wandered other areas of the dim, silent store. The air was stale and Danni smelled rubber or plastic.

She stocked up on notebooks and pens for herself so she could keep journaling as long as possible. She pulled a large zip up hooded sweatshirt from a hanger, then searched the rest of women's clothing for leggings. She grabbed a pair of black converse sneakers since she found one in her size. They were like the ones she'd had that Daryl hated so much. If he noticed he didn't say anything. He focused on any potential Walker threat. They remembered shampoo and soaps for everyone along with towels and wash cloths. Most, if not all, personal hygiene items had been left at the farm. Next, Danni stocked up toothpaste and toothbrushes-she was obsessed and cleaned out the aisle. There was nothing she hated more than the feeling of her teeth 'wearing fuzzy sweaters' as she called it. She grabbed books for Carl and Sophia, and chocolate for Carol and Lori who's hint wasn't lost on her.

"What's that?" She noticed Daryl carrying a package of cat treats.

"For Squirrel Bait." He said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

Sometimes he still surprised her.

Daryl then worked on Rick's requests knowing they'd be back for another run as soon as they could. This place had too much stuff for just one. He found first aid supplies, camp lights, propane tanks for the camp stove, cases of bottled water and various hardware items supplies.

Danni mentioned "I need to go to the sporting goods section."

"You?" Daryl asked.

"There's something I need to get for somebody." She said vaguely.

He shrugged and followed her. He didn't say anything when she put a football and Atlanta Falcons jersey in her cart

They continued to stay alert and look out for Walkers. Danni knew nothing was as safe as it appeared, but as she looked around she couldn't help but once again remember when things were normal. Before the moved on, Danni noticed Daryl hesitate and stare at the kids bikes, a few overturned lying on the linoleum floor, some still standing in a row leaning on their kickstand like a line of soldiers.

"I never had a bike." He shook his head and paced a little. She sensed he wanted to tell her something, so she remained silent, understanding that if she spoke she might spook him. She began folding the clothing in her cart allowing him space to wrestle with his need to open up and his instinct to hide. She scrutinized him secretly out of the corner of her eye, his body relaying the struggle.

"Hate remembering shit." He fidgeted before leaning against the display table.

"You know, my mom, she liked her wine. She liked to smoke in bed. Virginia Slims." He grunted softly at his own memory for detail.

She looked at him, but his eyes were far away.

"This one day I was playing out with the kids in the neighborhood.' He paused again sounding miles of years away. "I could do that with Merle gone. So, they all had bikes, I didn't. We heard sirens getting louder. They all jumped on their bikes, you know, hoping to see something worth seeing. I ran after them, but I couldn't keep up. Got around a corner and saw the other kids looking at me." He started pacing again looking hard at the floor.

"Hell, I saw everybody looking at me." His voice barely audible gravel.

"Fire trucks everywhere. People from the neighborhood all outside gawking. It was **my **house they were there for. It was **my** mom, in bed, burnt down to nothing."

Danni let him go on, knowing he needed to.

"That was the hard part. You know, she was just** gone**. Erased. Nothing left of her. People said it was better that way." He looked at Danni for the first time since he'd begun speaking. His eyes wanted something, needed something from her. "I don't know. Just made it seem like it wasn't real, you know?"

"You didn't get a wake, a funeral?"

He shook his head. "She was gone like she was never there in the first place."

"How come..."

She didn't have no family 'cept for my dad, Merle was in the army. "

"No grave to visit?" Danni realized out loud. _Okay talk about no closure ._

_"_Nothing to put in it, that's what the old man said. Why spend the money. Not that we had it anyway."

He was letting her in further than ever before. When he next spoke, she felt him emotionally and physically shift to a deeper place inside of her. How she could feel closer to him she had no idea but she did when he said, " It was my fault. My old man says she killed herself, wasn't no accident. She was so disappointed in me she needed to end it."

"You can't believe that?"

He shrugged, "I don't know, maybe?"

"No. That's not true."

He squinted and pressed his lips together, trying to hear Danni say the opposite of what he'd said to himself for all these years.

"Maybe," he said again. 'But If I'd been home I could have saved her. I should have been there, been home to stop it. If I was she'd still be alive."

Danni shook her head. "You were just a kid. Daryl it's not your fault."

He shrugged again and chewed on the rough skin around his thumbnail as he always did when he felt uneasy and didn't know what to do or say.

"Don't blame yourself." She touched his arm and spoke softly. You know her spirit was still there; is still here. She was never just gone. No one is ever **gone**. That's not what death is."

He'd never thought about it that way before. It never would have occurred to him, but it did to Danni. He took her hand from his arm into his own, squeezing it gently, massaging it with his thumbs, his face distracted. He touched her ring; she touched his.

"Sorry, about your mom." She said, wanting to hold him, hold the little kid and take care of him the way he should have been cared for. She held back.

"Sorry about yours.' He said meeting her eyes.

Danni nodded but looked confused, so he added, "The way she was. How she treated you."

"Thanks." She mumbled, realizing just how much he had over heard when she'd talked about her past with Carol.

"What's worse, not having a mom or having one who let all that shit happen to you?" He asked with a shrug.

_"_It's not a competition." Her face fell a little when she spoke. He noticed.

"Didn't mean it like that."

He reached over and pulled her to him. She let him hug her with suffocating force. He needed to hold her as much as she needed him to. _What hurts more? Having a thing then losing it or not having a thing at all? _She'd been asking herself that a lot lately.

She shook her head against his chest, unsure there really was an answer. Finally, with conviction she told him, "It wasn't your fault. You were a kid. We weren't supposed to take care of our moms, they were supposed to take care of us. Everything was so fucked up. I had an old boyfr..**.friend**" she caught herself, knowing it would be better "who told me that I spent too much time worrying about being a better daughter when my mom should have been the one worrying about being a better mother."

"Fucked up." Daryl agreed.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo

As they were loading the last of the stuff into the Suv, a small group of Walkers had shuffled their way into the parking lot.

Daryl noticed a Toyota sedan nearby. He took the tire iron and t smashed the driver's side window and the alarm started blaring. That would keep them busy while they got out of there.

They hadn't been driving long when Daryl suddenly spoke. "I been thinking, I was kind of hoping we could name him, the little guy, well, after Merle. What do you think?"

"Oh..." Danni looked over at Daryl, his face expectant, hopeful. She paused. "Really?"

"Yeah. Something wrong with that?"

"No. Merle just seems like a middle name kind of name, though, don't you think?"

"Hell is a middle name kind a name? What's wrong with Merle? Its my brother's name."

"Nothing, I know..." She glanced over.

"Should see your face right now."

When she noticed the corner of his mouth turning up into an amused smirk, she hit his shoulder, "Bastard."

"Payback. For the Andrea thing."

"So you don't really want to name him Merle?"

He huffed. "Hell no."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oo

It was a bit like Christmas when they got back to the prison. The shampoos and soaps were an obvious hit with the women. Carol and Lori promised to share the chocolate on pain of death from Maggie. There were dozens of packets of vegetable seeds for Herschel and Danni gave several boxes of condoms to Glenn in private. Carl was a little disappointed in just books, but Sophia was thrilled. When Danni pulled out the coloring books crayons and colored pencils Sophia looked happy then frowned.

"Thanks Danni, but I'm a little old for the Hello Kitty coloring book. It's like for five-year olds. "

"That's not for you that one's mine."

Sophia looked up amused. "Really?"

Danni actually loved kids coloring books. She'd always colored with Tara when they were little and it was one of her good memories. "Yeah. Here these are yours. She presented Sophia with more detailed books. "The Princess, unicorns and fairies are more your thing anyway."

"I still like Hello Kitty, though..."

"You better, she still likes you."

"You are so weird." Sophia laughed.

T Dog had helped Daryl haul the cribs, car seats and bags of baby supplies upstairs. Before he made his final trip down Danni stopped him. "Hey, T I got something for you."

He turned and rubbed his hands together, wiping the grime away as she came closer. Danni handed him the football. His face lit up with a smile that prominently showed the endearing gap between his front teeth.

"Hey how did you know I love football?"

"I heard you taking to Dale once about how much you wished you could be watching the Falcons. You told him you played in college."

"Righteous. Yeah, this is alright." He tossed it up and caught it.

"I figure you can maybe get somebody to play or something. De stress, you know?"

"Right on."

"Oh and this too." She passed him the Atlanta Falcons football jersey. "I hope it fits okay."

"My team, man I miss my team." He pulled it on. The red and white jersey fit fine.

"Why? It's not my birthday."

" I just...I don't want us to forget some of the good things from before."

He nodded. " I got to college on a football scholarship. Theodore Douglas magna cum laude. First in my family to do that. After I graduated I came close to playing pro ball." He was wistful but proud. " Hey, maybe I can teach those little ones of yours something about defensive linebacking when the time comes."

"I hope so."

"Good lord willing. Let's make sure."

"Oh, I forgot these too." She handed him a package of earplugs, with a wry smile."

He grinned again.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Life moved along at a reasonable pace. Weeks passed and everyone settled into a comfortable communal way of living with routine. Rick, Daryl, T-dog and Glenn, Maggie and Andrea continued to clear out other wings of the prison while Herschel organized and kept track of the medical supplies from the infirmary and the first aid items Daryl picked up on the run. He also plotted and planned for vegetable garden that he'd start in the spring. Carol and Lori took over the duties of organizing the chores cooking, laundry, making the place more livable every day. It appeared sexist on the surface but the reality was that each member of the group contributed in the best way they could. Danni helped as much as the others would let her. Beth was like an apocalyptic domestic goddess. She made that place as clean and comfortable as possible; with almost nothing but her imagination and hard work. She was already excited to help set up the area for the babies. There was plenty of fresh water due to T Dogs idea of the diversion from the stream. Hair washing and sponge bathing was easier since Danni had brought back so much soap and shampoo.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooo

Danni looked down at her navel ring. The skin was getting red and irritated as her bellybutton stretched with the rest of her stomach. It was such a small, stupid thing but she started to cry. She unscrewed the jewel on the end of the steel barbel and slipped it out. For the first time in 12 years. She cried over it like a lost pet. She sat on the bed looking at her stomach and kept sobbing. _I'm being so vain._ Danni hated that she cared so much about her body and how it looked. What she was doing, carrying these babies, was so much more important than how bloated she was all the time or what clothing she could fit into and how stretched her sparrow tattoos were getting. Maybe her mother had gotten to her after all. Maybe she really** was** her mother's daughter and cared too much about her looks. _ I ran all this way and ended up right back where you wanted me. Fuck you mom. You'd be happy now. _Since Daryl had told her about his mom's death, she 'd been reluctantly thinking about her own mother more and more.

Daryl had just reached the top step and saw her hunched over crying. Again. He never knew what would trigger it anymore. He turned around hoping she didn't see him; he held his breath until he hit the bottom stair, waiting for her to call his name. She didn't. He sighed with relief. He made her worse every time by saying the wrong thing or not saying anything at all. And she hadn't wanted to have sex in days which was unlike her. That usually made everything better, he could always count on that, but she'd been avoiding him at night, going to sleep early and pretending not to notice if he tried to wake her.

He figured it was pregnancy stuff. He felt helpless about the emotions she was going through, but at he same time, relieved that she was here and safe and any talk about running off or doing stupid, dangerous things had ended back at that ghost house. He could protect her and that felt good, but, he missed her.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooo

Carol wasn't sure Danni was getting enough nutrition for her self and the babies. She'd observed all along that Danni wasn't much of an eater; she noticed her trying to eat more lately, but was worried just the same. Danni had once told her she couldn't cook and couldn't care less about it she was always a take out girl. So Carol started making the most balanced meals she could with what was available. Instant oatmeal, canned soups and beans, meats and vegetables from the prison cafeteria. They were all non perishable and plentiful. She created stews and soups. Everyone enjoyed and appreciated her willingness and ability to put meals together. Carol kept an eye on Danni, making sure she ate enough regular food. Sometimes it seemed like she was living on the chocolate pudding cups and peanut butter. At least she was diligent about her daily vitamin.

" Carol, you are doing too much for me." Danni said as she put a bowl of soup down in front of her for an afternoon snack. She was sitting at the common table working on her book for the babies.

" I keep telling you you're not alone in this."

Danni nodded but didn't know what to say. Carol sat beside her.

"Carol you always make me want to cry."

"Well I don't mean to. Why?"

Danni decided to open up. "Because, when you do all this mom stuff for me, it makes me think about my mom and how she didn't do anything. I...I like when you take care of me, but I feel like I don't deserve it." She said it quietly like she was telling Carol a secret. "It hurts. I'm not used to it I guess."

"Danni I'm so sorry that your mother wasn't there for you. Every child deserves a good mother and a good father. You deserved that. I am sorry you didn't have it. Of course it hurts honey, of course it does."

Danni swallowed hard. "Thank you. It does you know? I've been so angry for so long that the pain got buried I guess. Now it's hurting. Why?"

" Well, maybe because you're going to be a mother yourself. You are ready to grieve what you didn't have so you can give your own children everything they deserve."

_Can I?_

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

_"You really want to eat that?"_

_Danni had just taken the frozen pizza out of its box and put it in the microwave. She was too hungry to wait for the oven to heat._

_She turned to her mother sitting at the kitchen table, applying a last-minute touch-up on her face before going out with Jay, stepfather #2 for the night. _

_"It's not going to help with those muffin tops. And your butt ...honey how many times do I have to tell you, boys don't like fat girls." She said it distractedly while applying mascara._

_Danni was eleven. Looking at her mother's disapproving glance and hearing her critical tone, she looked at her tummy, suddenly seeing it differently. Was she really getting that fat? She squeezed the small rolls at the top of her jeans. She felt her stomach gnaw at itself and heard it growl in protest when she said "I'm not really hungry anyway." She'd give the pizza to Tara making sure she ate dinner. _

_"Good girl. You'll thank me later. Now be a doll and make me another."_

_Danni took her glass and poured another gin and tonic for her mother. Maybe if she was skinnier her mother would love her enough to make Jay leave. She'd try anything._

_Deirdre Riordan-Doherty _**_was _**_beautiful, but she cared too much about it. She had long, natural raven hair and huge, deep green eyes encased in full dark lashes making them the focal point of her delicate porcelain face. Much like her oldest daughter's. Beauty and appearance was her first priority. Deirdre was only sixteen when she had Danni. She was a child who had no business having a child. She married Danni's father as soon as she began to show. Brigid Doherty would not have an illegitimate grandchild, and forced her son Kieran to marry the Riordan girl although he was barely eighteen himself. It was a reverse shotgun wedding. It only lasted two years. Kieran took off with a couple of his Traveller brothers shortly after Danni's second birthday, leaving his toddler and unknowingly newly pregnant wife behind. Rumors as to his whereabouts abounded all Danni's life; Dublin, London but Boston seemed the most possible. Danni suspected her Nan was aware of his location, maybe even had contact on her travels. She knew he'd never return so she never disclosed, not wanting to break Danni and Tara's hearts any more. Danni tried to keep a positive image of her dad. Brigid refered to him as her 'Dark Poet By The Sea' which is the Gaelic meaning of his name Kieran. Nan only spoke well of him. It confused Danni because if he was so good why did he leave? Danni blamed her mother for him leaving she knew it was Deirdre's fault. She didn't want to believe it was her own. She comforted herself with her Atticus Finch fantasy. Her dad would come back someday and take her and Tara away._

_Deirdre had not matured much during her two years of marriage. _

_They'd have no money for food by the end of the month but Deirdre had her hair professionally styled every two weeks. It was stick straight like Danni's but her mother wanted long soft flowing curls so she bought them. Her nails were long and manicured every week, without fail, and she only used Chanel makeup. Never the drugstore brands. She didn't smoke and stayed out of the sun, completely obsessed with keeping her beautiful skin as porcelain and wrinkle free as possible. She scolded Danni the first time she caught her sneaking a cigarette not for health reasons but because it would ruin her skin. She told her to always drink clear alcohols because they had fewer calories and were easier on your skin. She was thirteen at the time. Danni ran in the other direction when it came to accepted standards of beauty and when she did start drinking she never had anything but bourbon or beer._

_"Why do like that black shit all over your eyes?" Her mother criticised, "You could be so pretty. You are wasting it. And that lipstick is too dark for your face. You look like a junkie or a ghost. Let me do your makeup, look pretty for once in your life."_

_When Danni refused she always heard her mother's "what a waste" follow her everywhere. When she started sporting mohawk and liberty spike hairstyles, combat boots and a leather jacket in high school her mother wanted to disown her. She ridiculed her with rest of the neighbors as she left for school or her part-time job. Danni didn't care so much then. She liked that she was good at doing punk rock hairstyles. The kids she met downtown all asked her to do theirs for them. She began to make friends and felt she belonged with the punk rockers. Her mother's opinions and criticism lost their power. She could live on her own in a squat with her friends now. She didn't need her mother or that son of a bitch Jay anymore. Danni would never have gone home again if it wasn't for Tara. As much as she wanted to escape her home life now that she had the opportunity, she wouldn't abandon her sister. Whenever she ran away, the guilt brought her back. She knew she had to save her sister. That's what you did when you were the oldest._

_"And you dress like a bag lady", her mother criticised her thrift store clothing. "You could be so pretty, why do you make yourself so ugly and ridiculous?" Danni heard it more times than she could count. Her mother always added "It's to torture me isn't?" in a overdramatic self-pitying way. _

_Maybe it was. Maybe it was to hurt her. As she got older, Danni used to feel frightened and angry when everyone said how much she looked like her mother, how beautiful she was, just like her. Maybe she was trying to protect herself from her mother's men? Maybe if she looked as different from her mother as possible they'd leave her alone. Maybe If she looked too much like Deirdre, what they did and what they wanted was her fault? But it never worked. Danni didn't know how many years she wasted, wanting her mother to love her enough to leave Jay; to pack them up and take them away from him, to kill him if need be. Instead, her mother did stuff like made them call him daddy. Danni wanted to vomit every time she had to say it, to call him that especially when he was beating her._

_The day she refused to call him dad her mother slapped her and that night he beat her worse than ever. But she never used the word again. _

_She was no Danu, no goddess, no warrior like Nana told her. She was nobody special. She was just a girl, scared and angry. When she saw herself in her stepfather's eyes, she wanted to die, to be cold and gone. Everything felt hopeless. When he looked at her she was ashamed of herself, especially after she found out what the words slut and whore meant. Words he spit at her very night. When she looked in his eyes it was like seeing herself at the bottom of a pit, dirty, ragged, poor, stupid. Slut._

_Tara's funeral was really the last time she saw her mother. Danni couldn't believe it when after everything her mother had done, seeing Deirdre looking like she hadn't aged since Danni was a little girl, still so beautiful, still so lost, Danni felt her heart break all over again. She wanted her life back, her mother, but she knew she would never have that. The child she had been was gone with the child her mother had been. They were new people, who didn't know each other anymore. _

She heard Daryl's voice in her head saying,_ "hate remembering shit." What a role model I had._ And then she couldn't breath. Suddenly in a panic she realized she didn't want to be a mother. She had no business having these babies. I can't do this, she said trying to pull air into her lungs.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

"I would give you a hug if you would sit still for one second." Carol said as

Danni paced back and forth in Carol's cell.

"What's wrong?" Lori asked sympathetically.

"I just want them out, out of me." Danni complained anxiously. "Yours came out. How'd you get yours out?"

Lori tried to joke, " I swallowed a map."

"Cut the freaking vagueness. Why is it you mothers don't want to pass down your wisdom to other mothers? You're selfish."

"Danni what happened, you were fine an hour ago?" Lori asked, confused. "You** can** do this."

"No, I can't. I'm gonna fail. Get them out, get them out, get them out!"

"Please stop moving. Come and sit down."

"No way, I changed my mind. I don't want to be pregnant anymore. I can't handle this..." Danni was about to start crying.

"I'll never forget when they handed me Sophia for the first time." Carol began. Danni stopped pacing but continued to stand.

"She was the most beautiful pink all over. She even smelled pink. That sounds odd. I can't describe it; a sweet, pink baby smell. The first time her eyes focused on me and her little fingers reached out. I was someone new. She had me and I loved her."

"I...I..can't." Danni started to cry, conflicted tears of fear streamed down her flushed cheeks.

"Stop. Breathe. Everything's gonna be fine." Carol soothed.

'Come on Daryl let's have these babies. I wanna be a mommy. God I'm pathetic." She swiped her tears away.  
"You're not pathetic. " Carol said standing. She and Lori converged on Danni and steered her toward the bed. They made her sit between them.  
" I'm gonna be a bad mother. I should not be a parent."  
"Danni, look at me. There are many people in this world who should not have been parents. " Carol said, squeezing her shoulders.  
"Yeah, like my mom. Oh and Maybe Mrs and Mr Hitler could have watched tv that night." Danni got acerbic when she was afraid.

"But, you, you are going to be a great mom." Carol assured her handing her some tissues.

Danni blew her nose and wiped away more tears. "How do you know?"

"Because I know you, and I watch you with Sophia."

"Well, who could not like Sophia?"

"You're gonna be amazing. Carl adores you. Those little babies of yours are very lucky." Lori added and stroked Danni's hair.

"Okay. I guess, okay." Danni took some deep breaths actually feeling comforted by the touch and support of Carol and Lori. It felt good.

"You're over emotional, right now, breath honey, it will pass. It happens to all of us. This is a tough time."

"Yeah? Okay. I'm okay." She repeated it to convince herself.

"Hey, what's going on? Danni what's..." Daryl entered, surprised and distressed to see Danni's flushed tear streaked face; her body huddled between Carol and Lori.

"You okay?" He headed toward them. Carol stood and blocked him maneuvering him out of the cell. "She'll be fine."

"Did I do something? I did, didn't I? Lately I can't say a damn thing. Every time I open my mouth she's either crying or pissed at me. Now what?"

"She needs a little mothering now. You go on."

He stood looking helpless. "I don't know what to say to her anymore. You know she thinks she's ...ugly...that I don't want ..." His cheeks started to redden and he couldn't finish.

Carol looked at him sympathetically. "Don't say anything. Just listen to her. And show her. Show her how you feel."

He winced a little and pressed his lips together with a thoughtful nod of his head.

"Now, go, we have this okay?"

After he left, Lori offered to make Danni some tea.

"Why don't you tell us what you're afraid of." Carol prodded.

"Can I talk to you guys about...my...mom? Seriously, can I?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 

It was late but Daryl was still awake waiting for her when she finally finished her talk with Carol and Lori. He couldn't sleep; he'd worried despite what Carol had said.

"You okay now?" He quietly rasped as she approached.

"Yeah, it was nothing. Didn't mean to worry you." She made no move to join him in bed, so he stood and walked toward her.

He lowered his head and kissed her neck. He began moving his mouth up when she pulled away.

She smiled weakly. "I'm tired."

"Its late you must be. Come on." He started to unzip her sweatshirt. She swatted his hand away, more forcefully than she meant to.

"Just trying to help you." He explained.

He noticed she'd been sleeping fully clothed lately and figured she was cold, but now felt it was more than that. In fact she'd been wearing that huge sweatshirt constantly since the run. It hid any shape she had. He was used to seeing her in clothes that fit even with her pregnant belly.

He remembered how self-conscious she'd been back at the ghost house. He tried to put his arms around her. She pulled away again saying "You don't have to."

He noticed she seemed sad, not pissed off.

Danni was feeling insecure and overwhelmed partly because of the memories of her mother but also because no matter what anyone said, she felt like a clumsy, awkward elephant.

Daryl recalled what Carol had said._ Show her how you feel._

The desire to kiss her returned, only this time, he didn't let her stop him. He placed a hand on the back her neck and pulled their bodies together, while his other hand journeyed from her shoulder, down around her waist. Their faces were only inches apart. Danni's eyes were wide and her lips were trembling. She was getting a weird vibe from him and it made her more nervous than the first time she'd kissed him.

"What are you doing?" She whispered.

"I'm gonna kiss you."

"Don't."

He reached over with a delicate hand and slipped it gently under her chin, raising her line of sight to his eyes. She blushed and the frown on her face inspired his next words. "I like you the way you are."

She looked down and tried to pull her face away. "You don't have to say that."

"I know I don't."

Daryl lowered his face and brushed his lips against hers. He met half-hearted resistance. For the time being he was content with limiting his contact to simple pecks, and although his heart surged with the hope of feeling her tongue slide against his he didn't push. There was time. He could wait. Daryl broke the contact between their mouths and pulled his face back so he could focus her eyes properly on his.

"Hey. Look at me." He said as if knowing she would lose herself in his piercing gaze.

He tentatively pulled her arms up around his neck and slipped his own around her waist their bodies easing into one another's with Danni showing awkwardness.

"You…just kissed me." She murmured. "I told you not to."

Daryl's adrenaline pulsed with a mixture of fear and confidence that he could get through to her once and for all. He nodded and said, "Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?"

He removed his right arm from around her waist, brought his hand up to the side of her neck and proceeded to caress her soft skin with intense affection. He felt her shiver in a good way so he also brushed his thumb over her lips and along her cheek in time with the motion of his palm, which was making her body soften into his hold but she wasn't giving in one hundred percent yet.

"What's wrong?" he said realizing that he usually cut her off when she complained about her body because he was nervous about what to say. Carol made him realize maybe listening was what she needed. He didn't have to have the answers. _Show her._

She felt her cheeks flush crimson. "I think it's obvious."

Daryl gave her a quick kiss on the forehead "I wanna hear."

"You're not making this easy on me, are you?"

"Nope. Talk."

She looked up at him, almost in shock._ Who is he tonight?  
_  
Could she tell Daryl that she loved him with all her heart but was afraid he might not feel the same if their physical attraction lessened? She'd hinted at it and he always shut her down immediately. He didn't want to know. He probably felt that way already.  
Far too embarrassed to confess her heart to him under his intense scrutiny, she lowered her chin into the crook of his shoulder and brushed her lips against his ear. His hand scaled the side of her neck and ended its journey underneath her ponytail, where it gently kneaded her flesh in a partly successful attempt to relax her jittery nerves. He pulled the elastic from her hair and let it loose over he back, still massaging the base of her skull.

It felt so right being in his arms, having him touching her like this. For the first time he was all affection barely hinting at anything sexual.  
"You really want to know how I feel?" Danni asked, her voice barely a whisper.  
"I…" She swallowed back a huge lump in her throat and forced herself to continue. "You told me I was beautiful. Remember? That night in the tent, at the farm. You told me you think I'm beautiful."  
Daryl didn't say anything for what felt like a very long time, yet probably only amounted to a minute or two.

"That's a problem?"

Steeling herself for the worst, Danni admitted "I 'm afraid you won't be able to love me if you think I'm ugly or my body is gross. I sound so shallow right now, so vain..." she began to criticise herself. " But, I miss how I was."

"You miss it more than I do."

"Smooth, Dixon, smooth." She couldn't refrain from a little humor.

"Danni, you're the prettiest goddamn girl I ever seen." He made her look at him. "Said that before too. I meant it then, I mean it now."

_Why was he so perfect. _Her arms tightened around his neck. "I'll never forget when you said it. No one ever said anything that real to me before."

"Then believe it."

"You don't think I'm disgusting? I don't turn you off?"

"You turn me on more now, if you want the truth."

"Cause my boobs are bigger right?" She said against his chest.

"No...yeah, I guess, but there's something else. You're carrying my kids in there. He gently put his palm on her belly. We did that, its fucking sexy as hell." He looked down at her. "Right?"

"Really? You really think so?"

He nodded. "Hell yeah. That weird?"

She shook her head, wordless._Who are you tonight?" He never said stuff like that._

His hands drifted underneath her t-shirt and caressed the small of her back in lazy circles, sending a low voltage tingle coursing through her body.

"Can I take off your clothes?" Daryl asked.

She shrugged.

"Take that as a yes."

His strong calloused fingers gently unzipped her sweatshirt.

Danni seemed content to remain a bystander, leaving him to spread the jacket open and slide it down her arms. The next item to make an exit was her t-shirt.  
All of his movements were languid, There was no rush. Everything would be experienced in its own due course; hurrying would only minimize what he was trying to tell her without words.

Daryl sighed, letting his gaze wander back and forth between her face, breasts and stomach.

Smudges of pink materialised on her cheeks and she felt her skin burn.

"You're beautiful," he said, his eyes dark and piercing as they roamed.  
"Thank you," Danni whispered, and then kissed him. His lips kissed back with an uncharacteristic gentleness, surprising her because most of the time their desire and passion for each other made kisses rough and breathless. These kisses were soft and deeply sensual, causing that twinge low in her abdomen. He drew her down to their bed asking, "Okay?"

He spent the next hour exploring every part of her. He loved to touch her as much she loved letting him stroke every inch of her nude form, slowly running his palms over her smooth, warm skin, paying no special attention to any one particular area of her body; it was all fair game as far as he was concerned.  
She sighed and whispered to herself as if in a trance while his hands rubbed at her body and his tongue toyed. His palms coasted higher up her back, caressing every contour of bare skin that was at his disposal.

"You want to have sex with me, now?" She didn't say fuck the way she normally would have. It didn't feel right with whoever** this** Daryl was.

One of his hands slid out from underneath her shoulders and cupped the back of her head. He leaned in and showered her face in light kisses, and then moved down to her neck where he nuzzled the tender most part of her throat. Her thighs were shaking now.

"Oh, God," she whimpered "Y-you didn't answer my question."

Daryl flicked his tongue against her earlobe and then sucked on the fleshy part, which was a major turn-on for Danni. His hands were constantly on the move, always rubbing and caressing her, stimulating her in some way, never once staying stationary for more than a second at a time.

"What question?" he breathed.

The question now seemed redundant, for it was self-explanatory that Daryl definitely wanted to  
"Sex," she whimpered. "Do you want to..."

"I really want to." He said softly.  
He gave her ear a goodbye lick, pulled away and took her face in his hands. A few beads of moisture had accumulated on his brow. There was a particular look in his eyes was without a doubt the very look a man gives a woman when he wants to spend hours playing with what he sees.

"Really?" She asked his look.

They shared another heart-melting kiss, one consisting of passionate murmurs, sliding tongues and quivering lips. Keeping their hands off one another was impossible.  
She started undoing the buttons on his shirt with a blind clumsiness, not wanting to relinquish the sensation of his massaging tongue just yet. The last button escaped its home and Danni spread his shirt open. Without having to be told, he dropped his hands away from her body so that she could slide his shirt down his arms.

Danni removed her tongue from his mouth and gulped in some much-needed oxygen."You really know how to kiss."

"Had a good teacher."

He brushed her hands aside and filled his palms with the soft, pale flesh of her over sensitive breasts. It didn't just feel good, it felt necessary. When Daryl caressed her nipples with his thumbs, she arched her back and expelled a gasp of pleasure.

"Good?" He asked.

"Uh huh," she groaned.

"This?" He trapped her pebbly nipples between both thumbs and forefingers and squeezed, first gently and then, when they were harder his pinches became a little firmer.

She screwed her eyes shut and her mouth fell open in a silent moan. The growing ache between her legs was rapidly causing her discomfort. But for now Daryl seemed content with his slow pace, attempting to prove to her he loved everything about her body. He was giving every part of her his affectionate attention not just the major artery of her sex drive.  
"Kiss me," she said softly, too weak to grab the sides of his head and pull his mouth up to hers.

He pulled his face away from her throat. "Where?" he asked leaving her breathless and slightly desperate. "Everywhere," she whispered."But for now," she added, "I want you to kiss me on the mouth."  
They shared a scintillating kiss filled with passion and sexual longing. It wasn't merely their tongues intertwining but also their hearts. This was the way kissing was supposed to be; soft and deeply sensual, yet also gripped with an undercurrent of intensity that surged through the sharing of lips, tongues and her assorted gasps and moans. Daryl eventually broke the kiss and combed his fingers through her damp hair. He gazed at her affectionately as he caressed her face with his fingertips.

His hand slipped from her hair and cupped the side of her face, stroking her supple skin with more care, love and affection than most guys would lavish on their cars or crossbows, let alone their significant others.

She felt the conspicuous bulge in his pants against her thigh getting harder by the second.

This was very important to Danni. He was as hard as the proverbial rock and she hadn't laid a finger on him. Although hardly romantic this was possibly one of the finest compliments a man can give his partner, because it implied an attraction so powerful that touching and looking was enough to get him highly aroused. She understood what he was trying to tell her. She didn't have to doubt his attraction. He had slowly and methodically destroyed any uneasiness she'd expected to feel under his obvious loving scrutiny; a welcome change from the insecurities which had plagued her so painfully lately.

Danni gave him a long kiss on the lips and combed her fingers through his slick hair.

As he lowered his body onto hers, distributing his weight as evenly and as gently as possible most on his arms, not putting undo pressure on her stomach.

"Can we...can you still? Like this?" She asked him.

He nodded looking down into her huge questioning eyes.

This was her favourite sexual position, but only since Daryl, only with him. She didn't mind being submissive, a role that had made her uneasy in the past. She'd only experienced orgasms on top, before Daryl. When he was on her, covering her and filling her she felt safe and grounded, not suffocated and trapped the way she had with other guys. She wanted the level of intimacy with him that was otherwise unachievable. Affectionate touches, looks and kisses were but a variety of gestures available for them to use at their leisure, making the sex far less impersonal than if they were locked together any other way.

Eventually, after tormenting her by working himself into her body at a pace best described as sweetly excruciating, Daryl was completely embedded in her.

"Hey," she sighed, embracing him lovingly with her arms and legs. "You wouldn't believe how much I needed you inside me. You belong in me." She licked his neck marvelling over how delicious his skin tasted. "My mind, body, soul and heart are all yours because I love you." She said things to him she'd only ever written in journal. She didn't care if it sounded cheesy and she wasn't worried she'd scare him. Not anymore.

Daryl dug his elbow into the mattress, partially lifting himself into the air so he had the leverage to stroke her face with his free hand He kept her silent her by showering her face with kisses, each one more tender than the last. Then he migrated south, nuzzling the tender hollow of her throat as he combed his fingers through her damp hair. Each subsequent kiss and lick generated an exponential loss in fine motor control, and all she could do was lay there with her eyes closed and submit wholeheartedly to his advances.  
The longer he remained stationary inside her the wetter she became. "I can't take much more."

"What do you want me to do?" he said.  
The existing dull throb between her legs gradually morphed into an exquisite, albeit masochistic, form of pain.

"Anything you want, just make me feel good." She whispered. In a desperate attempt to derive at least a small degree of pleasure, she squirmed her hips against Daryl's and tightened her legs around him, rewarding her efforts by grinding himself deeper.

He eased his body into the air, and pulled slowly out of her, then re entered twice as fast. He repeated the process again and again, leaving Danni sighing as the speed variation worked its wonders.  
His tongue slid between her lips and sought out hers.

"Tell me that you love me," she implored. "I need to hear you say the words." He didn't say them often.

"I love you." He softly moaned.

Each withdrawal from her body was met with a tightening of her muscles, but she was so wet that his removal was met without resistance. Occasionally he would tease her by slipping out of her completely, exercising what she believed to be inhuman patience until she begged him to thrust back in. It was affectionate, not his usual aggressive teasing.

"Harder," she cried softly.  
He obliged her, upping the tempo of his thrusts to a point where he was neither rough nor gentle; it was a sweet medium of the two that sent Danni spiralling out of control towards an orgasm that needed to be released from captivity.  
Although the act of making love was exciting and downright satisfying, its primal basic function was to create a living, breathing child; in other words, life. They had done that. Her body was amazing for being able to carry this life. Any changes were just a testament to how beautiful and functional it was. It all came back to this moment, this action set the process in motion. Accept.

True to his intent, Daryl displayed such an overwhelming desire for her that his love and attention eclipsed and began lay to rest the unsettling insecurities and physical downsides to carrying their babies to term.

Starting from the epicentre of her arousal, a burst of searing pleasure spread through her like ripples in a pond, instantly turning each inhalation of oxygen into a gasp and saw it exhale with a panting cry. She shuddered against him with an involuntarily surge of the hips, attempting to drive him deeper, harder and faster, adoring the sensation of being lead towards a passionate climax by the man she loved knowing he loved her too no matter what.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

"Who the fuck were you last night?" Danni asked reaching over and stroking Daryl's hair.

"Hell you mean?" He grumbled still half asleep.

He was back.

"I don't know you were just different."

"Different good, or different bad?" He asked half into the pillow.

"Good, really good." She sat up to look at him. "You're smiling aren't you?" She saw him even though he was trying to hide it in the pillow. She put her face down next to his. "I can see it."

He turned his head toward her. "Good, huh?"

She nodded. "So if whoever that was wants to come back tonight, he's totally welcome."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooo

" I talk to you a minute?" Rick approached Daryl as he and Danni sat down for breakfast the next morning. It seemed like Rick had been waiting for him. They'd slept late and now Daryl regretted it.

"Daryl, we got a problem."

Daryl stood at the word problem.

"Last night, someone got in."

"What do you mean got in? Got in how?" Daryl asked.

"You told me the tombs are filled with Walkers that wandered in from the outside, somebody else could have too." Danni interjected guessing.

"Somebody did." Rick affirmed.

"Think there's more?" Daryl asked.

"I don't know. This guy says he's alone, but he could have a group out there waiting for him. A group we might have to worry about."

Daryl nodded, knowingly, remembering Randall's people. "Lets find out."

"He's locked in the anteroom. Secure. C'mon."


	38. Saints, Sinners and Strangers

***How would you guys feel about shorter chapters but faster updates? **

***Thank you as always for being here and for your extra patience! xx**

***************This chapter has lots of dialogue, lots of Rick and b****aby name alert...so I'll let you get to it...**

**************xx**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo **

**_Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future._**

**_-Oscar Wilde_**

"Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world she walks into mine. Shit, Danni?"

The lanky guy behind the steel bars stood and started talking immediately when he saw Danni approach, Daryl close beside her. She grabbed Daryl's arm to stop herself from falling over.

"Damn girl, looks like you got yourself a new boyfriend. Must be treating you right by the looks of you. Congrats. When the blessed event?'

She was wearing a t-shirt and her old skull jacket which wouldn't zip so her almost six months pregnant belly was more than obvious. Shock closed her throat and made her mouth dry so that she couldn't have spoken even if she wanted to. Her knees buckled, but Daryl caught her as she dropped. He hoisted her up and held her.

"Look at that, he's all chivalrous and shit. That's the word right?"

_He just won't shut up. He'd never change._ Danni thought.

She was looking at a ghost. He was wearing his old oversized gray hoodie under a black flight jacket. His hair was still short, but messier blonde and his facial hair and goatee longer and scruffier. He was dirty and looking exhausted from being out there for who knew how long, but that line from Casablanca he just quoted clinched it. It was him. It was one of their favorite movies.

"Hell is tha' sonofabitch talking about?" Daryl grabbed her shoulder pulling her around to face him. His gravel drawl more pronounced with emotion. "Danni?" He was angry but she knew underneath was fear and confusion.

"He's a country boy, huh? Well when in Rome, right? You fitting right in down here. Good going, but that's how we do."

She turned her head, "Stephen just stop!" She yelled.

"You know him?' Daryl asked with disbelief.

"Yeah, dog, she does. "

"I wasn't talking to you!" Daryl shot back at him. "And you do know you're white, right?"

Carol heard Danni say Stephen and realized who this guy was.

"You know you're with my ex right?"

"Stephen just shut the fuck up!" Danni snapped, feeling her entire life collapsing in around her. She was light-headed, and her gut churned. She was only on her feet because Daryl was holding her up.

"Still got that temper, huh, baby?"

"I'll stomp your Eminem wannabe ass right now!" Daryl shouted and ripped himself away from Danni, causing her to stumble. He grabbed the key to the cell from the ring on his belt and stormed toward the door. Rick grabbed him and held him back.

"He got a temper to match yours I see.?"

Now steady on her legs Danni shakily took Daryl's arm and pulled him to the adjoining room.

The rest of the group stood around in shock at the strange development. Carol surprised most of all, since she knew their story.

"Danni what the hell is going on?" His eyes were flashing and his face started to flush with anger.

She didn't know how to explain. Who would expect to run into their ex in the middle of the end of the world?

"He's, he's... an old boyfriend."

Daryl's face registered shock.

"Its been over for years. There's no reason to be upset Daryl, we're solid, you and me. You **know** that. This doesn't affect** us**. Besides I left him six years ago. Nothing to be upset about."

"Damn right cause he's leaving."

"Now?"

Daryl headed over to Rick who looked like a train hit him.

"You want to put this asshole out or should I do it?" He asked.

Danni ran after him. "Wait, you can't just send him back out there, he doesn't have anywhere to go."

Daryl turned to her. "Danni?"

"He'll die out there, you know it."

"Douchebag's done alright so far by the looks of it." Daryl observed.

"You can't."

"Danni." He said more than asked, again, wanting her to agree with him.

"Well..."

"Don't fuckin' believe this." He turned and angrily ran his hands through his hair.

Neither did Rick; he couldn't fathom that any of this was happening.

"You're kidding right?" Daryl's eyes were pleading with her.

"We can't just..."

But before she could finish Daryl stalked out of the cell block toward the tombs. She was about to follow when Rick took her arm.

"You want to tell me what's going on? How the hell am I supposed to handle this?"

Danni looked up at him. "I know Stephen is acting like a dick right now, but he's just scared; it's what he did...does. He's a good guy. He's a cop like you. Does he know you're a cop? It'll help him calm down."

"He knows, I told him this morning. Actually he pegged me first. Should have known about him. takes one to know one."

Rick then remained silent, deep in thought, considering Danni's explanation.

"What else can I say or do?" She asked overwhelmed.

"Look I'll talk to him but only because you think he's okay. He's acting like an asshole, I agree with Daryl."

" Just tell him to cut the shit, he's different underneath his act, really. "

He was the only other man besides Daryl who'd ever treated her well. The only other man besides Daryl she'd ever loved. He'd taught her how to live after being dead inside for long. She couldn't let him die now.

"Cop?" Rick asked."

"Detective. Narcotics. Minneapolis police."

"Seems a little bit of a stretch for you. Actually a **huge** stretch. Wouldn't have ever thought you'd have dated a cop."

"Neither would I. Like I said to you before Rick, I've heard that one a million times too. I'm just full of surprises." She smiled weakly. "Go me, huh?"

"What about Daryl?"

"It was a **long** time ago. I haven't seen in Stephen in six years. There's nothing there anymore. "

Rick looked hard at her, "Are you** sure**?" He wasn't taking chances or messing around. Daryl was his priority.

"Yes." She assured him, a little annoyed at his tone. "Of course, jeez..."

"Don't get that attitude with me. You're lucky Daryl and I didn't send him out already."

Then he added, "Come with me. Lets talk to him." Tension was running high.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Rick and Danni entered the anteroom cell with the rest of the group, excluding Daryl; they stood or sat around listening curiously, not nervously, since finding out Danni knew the intruder.

Stephen Mattson was another guy Danni never expected to have fallen for. He'd grown up in North Minneapolis, a blue-collar kid from a rough, racially diverse neighborhood He never had a father around. Never had a mother. He lived with his older sister but pretty much raised himself, growing up on the streets. A lot of his friends became criminals or ended up in gangs, but he chose to go to community college getting his degree in criminal justice and life philosophy from buddhism. It was his street sensibilities and calm demeanor that got him recruited straight out of the police academy and into undercover duty at the outset of his oversized hoodies, Timberland boots and homeboy slang, his way of talking and relating that defined him as a former street kid became his biggest asset as an undercover cop.

"I was working vice, gang task force and narco and, I don't know, I guess narco kind of stuck to me." He explained to Rick.

Danni had met him completely by accident or, as Stephen said. because she was in the wrong place at the right time. She was waiting around after a show for the club owner to pay her band when the place was raided. Stephen took her outside for 'questioning' then told her to get lost, to keep her out of any trouble. He knew she was an innocent bystander, but his fellow detectives might not be so sure. Still, he wouldn't let her leave without getting her number. Outside in the dark alley behind the bar it was freezing and beginning to snow, so finally, she wrote it down on a piece of Hello Kitty notepaper she pulled from her purse. She'd had a couple of beers, so her judgement was a bit off. She didn't think much of him at first. They were on completely different planets: the rock musician and the narc. Besides, he was all street and she was still hanging on to her punk roots. She never in a million years expected him to call her, but Stephen had chased her down breaking all the rules. No matter how many times she said no or blew him off, he persisted. He literally wore her down until she agreed to go out for coffee. They were polar opposites, but at a time when Danni needed someone solid in her life Stephen was a rock. He took her as she was, no judgements. One of the first things he'd ever said to her when she'd asked how he could be so accepting was "People want to put everything in a box, get spoon-fed the answers, make everything black and white. Me? I see the grays."

She was at the point where her life could have gone either way or not at all.

"You ran away from life thinking it was because you were mistreated, pissed off. Poor you, blah, blah, blah. But I think you ran away from living just so someone would come looking for you. You wanted me to come looking for you."

Maybe he was right? He held her accountable for her self-destructive behavior; he didn't just leave when she was in crisis. He called her on drinking too much, and taking pills. He was sober and made her cut back. He forced her to eat on a regular basis and cooked healthy for her. That's when she became a vegetarian. He encouraged her to write every day, making her see she had talent. And he showed her sex was not about power and abuse. Not about shame. He quoted the buddha to her all the time until she stopped laughing and took it in.

_"The one who has conquered himself is a far greater hero than he who has defeated a thousand times a thousand men."_

_"Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion."_

"_Bad deeds and deeds hurtful to ourselves are easy to do; what is beneficial and good, that is very difficult to do."_

He repeated these sayings to her to her until she believed.

The most important thing he helped her to do was accept that her sister's suicide was not her fault.

He showed her how to have a strong back and an open heart. Something that prepared her for Daryl.

"How'd you get in here?" Rick asked.

"What the hell are you doing in Georgia?" Danni added.

"Questions, huh? I usually do the interrogating, but alright I can play the other side. Let's see, what I'm doing down here? Well, the department sent me, when the, whatever the fuck this dead dudes biting thing started. They thought it was some new illegal drug craze like bath salts or some shit like that. It seemed to be concentrated in the southeast, so every major city sent a narcotics cop to the Atlanta CDC. I got the short straw. Repping the Twin Cities. I came to get the details, see what it was, how to stop it. But, this wasn't about drugs. When I got here, the CDC was gone; the city was gone. I started out with a couple of narcs from Chicago and Detroit; we met an Atlanta cop who had a bunker under his house-that guy was a survivalist nut, he knew the end of the world was coming. We lasted a few months until supplies got low. I split when tensions got too high. My zen was getting messed with. I just moved west, thinking I heard about an army base somewhere. Past few weeks haven't been the best, but then I saw this place figured it would be a safe place to crash. You got an open section of fence at the back and broken door. So, here I am. "

"I can't believe..." Danni started to say.

"We are where we are when we are supposed to be."

"Buddhist shit." She smirked. He was still the same.

"But. maybe I'm not supposed to be here. Your pissed off boyfriend don't seem to think so."

"Daryl's just...being Dary," was all she could say at the moment.

"Well, Danni is vouching for you." Rick explained. "I trust her word. Otherwise, you wouldn't be sitting there. But," Rick gestured the everyone who'd just heard Stephen's story. "We act as a group. We have to discuss what to do about you and we'll have an answer tomorrow morning. For now eat something, rest up, you look like you need it. We'll talk later but I can't promise you anything."

Danni looked at Rick questioningly. Her word wasn't enough?

Stephen didn't complain about staying in the anteroom, surrendering his gun and knife or being locked up when a member of the group wasn't around to supervise him at gunpoint. He was glad to be inside, safe for the first time in weeks. Rick appreciated his calm acceptance of confinement and lack of hostility, but added, "Danni might know you, but the rest of us don't."

Stephen sat back on the bench raising his hands in the 'I surrender' gesture and said. "Your house, your rules, man."

"I'll talk to him." Danni said after Rick left.

"Don't. No big deal. Whatever he needs to do. No worries."

She nodded but headed after Rick.

"He doesn't have to be in there." Danni stopped him by the outside door.

"You saw Daryl's reaction. I think he does. And the others, they don't know him."

"Yet. Carol's over there talking to him now, feeding him. He's making her laugh."

Rick looked beyond her.

"He's a good guy. Rick."

"I'm sorry Danni, but this is the way it is. And, If Daryl has a problem and doesn't come around, your friend is out."

"I know." Danni said seriously. _Daryl is my life now_. "But I think I can convince him."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Daryl."

"Came here to be alone."

Danni found him in the hallway to the tombs sitting against the wall, cross-legged and hunched forward, stabbing his knife into the cement floor.

She lowered herself carefully and sat down beside his heartbreaking form.

"You're gonna ruin that blade."

He ignored her.

"Talk to me."

He wouldn't.

She put her hand on his shoulder and started to massage it gently. She felt they'd aged years since first setting eyes on each other. It was the Walker time standard again. Months were years. They weren't kids when they met but it was only now that she felt the pressing weight of adulthood, heavy with responsibility. Did he feel it too? They looked older, somehow darker. So much had happened. Danni was someone else with Daryl; she'd become who she was always supposed to be.

"Its been over for a long time. I am not that person anymore."

Daryl remained silent, but he didn't stop her hand from working on his shoulder and then neck.

"I left him."

"Then you won't have a problem when he goes. He** is** going."

"But...can't we talk about it? Daryl he saved my life. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't..."

"Stop." Daryl didn't want to know; didn't want to know this guy ever existed. "He's going Danni." Daryl turned to look at her. "He don't belong here."

She didn't argue or try to convince him she just asked "Are you coming?"

"In a little while."

She stood and he asked one last thing. "Why didn't you tell me? About him? You told me every other damn thing about your life from...before. Why'd you hide this?"

"I wasn't hiding it."

"No?"

"No. You know how you are...I didn't want to upset you and I didn't think it mattered..."

"How I am?"

"Jealous, over nothing." She said it quietly.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"I didn't..."

"Go on, get back Its dangerous out here. Go."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o

She knew she'd blindsided him. It was probably the worst possible thing she could have done to him. She fucked up. Nothing could ever just go smoothly or go right. Danni was so busy worrying about Merle she didn't have any mental reserves to deal with this Stephen thing now. It was unbelievable. A bad dream. _Wake up, wake up, wake up..._

Daryl was distant with Danni for the rest of the day. She knew it was his way of processing so she left him alone. He and Rick sat with Herschel for a good part of the afternoon in deep discussion about reinforcing the fence and entrance at the rear of the prison to insure no other intruders decided to drop in on them. Daryl may not have wanted anything to do with her but at least he wasn't isolating; at least he was interacting with Rick. She noticed T Dog hanging out in the anteroom obviously getting along with Stephen. Carol, Lori and Glenn were in and out too, but she stayed clear, not wanting to upset Daryl any more. Besides she'd had an intense headache and nagging nausea all day and hadn't been able to do more than lay down and ruminate over her actions or inaction.

Danni sat on her bed, stroking Fionn's head as he rubbed his cheek vigorously against her knee. He purred loudly and she knew he was trying to comfort her. He always sensed when she was upset or ill. He was a cat who possessed a healing purr. He eased her headache with the deep rumbling but she felt guilty and incredibly lonely for Daryl. She put one of his shirts on her pillow and lay her head down wishing it was his chest.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Can I have a minute." Rick asked T Dog as he entered the anteroom cell.

T Dog nodded at Rick then gestured to Stephen "Later, man" as he left the two alone.

"Danni speaks pretty highly of you."

"What's not to like."

"Cut the attitude. She also says she hasn't seen you in six or seven years. A lot can happen to change a man in that time. Especially after what's happened. Men can be pushed to their limits. I need straight answers from you. Can you give them to me?"

Stephen lost some of his attitude. "Yeah, I'm nothing if not straight up."

"Are you with anybody else; do you have a group out there waiting for you, one that's waiting to break in here and attack us?"

"No, told you. It's just me."

"Do you have **any** intention of making trouble." Rick's voice was low, almost menacing with protectiveness for the group. "I am responsible for these people and I won't hesitate to do what needs to be done to protect them. Whether you know Danni or not. We clear?"

He nodded his head. "Look I'm just trying my best out here, like you. I don't make trouble for people unless they're a low life criminal and I'm doing my job. Or, was doing my job. Otherwise I'm a real live and let live kinda guy."

Rick nodded considering Stephen's words.

"You're obviously the chief here. I respect that. If you tell me to go, I'll go. I believe what happens is meant to happen. I won't bitch or try to change your mind, okay Chief? Your move."

Rick recognized that his sincerity and respect was genuine. Danni was right, underneath that obnoxious street pose he was a good guy.

"You're not on the job now son, best leave that bullshit attitude behind. Your scoring more points with me talking man to man."

Stephen smiled, "Yeah dog, heard that one before."

"Okay, now see, you're starting to change my mind again." Rick sounded exasperated. "One more thing. Danni. What exactly do you want from her?"

"We been done for a long time. Hell I fucked that up good." He shook his head and sighed. "Long story man, but you know how the job can be on relationships?"

Rick did, he could imagine the extra baggage of being undercover and dealing with narcotics. He had an idea of what may have happened.

"You get too good at playing your part, at undercover? Too ...authentic?" Rick asked.

"You know it. But I've been clean five years now. One stumbling block of a year, but it was enough to lose her. Before that we had a good four-year run. I've accepted it was over a long time ago. Still feel that way. Danni's a good girl. All I want from her now is forgiveness."

"Seems like you have that." Rick observed, noticing Stephen was an intelligent thoughtful guy if let himself be.

"Maybe."

"I need to be sure that you won't cause any problems with her and Daryl."

Stephen looked a little surprised."What kind of lowlife you think I am? Yo, she's pregnant."

"I** don't** know you. That's why I'm asking."

"I won't come between people, Not how I work Chief. besides, I've been with somebody else too for the past couple years." His face fell thinking about what happened to her.

Rick knew his look.  
"Sorry..."

"Yeah. Thanks. But you never know, she night have made it. Look at us, right?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o

Danni had been asleep when Daryl came to bed so nothing was discussed further. She was just relieved he came upstairs at all. He wasn't hiding or running from her, that was a good sign. Still, questions flooded her mind along with regret and self-doubt. Why hadn't she ever mentioned Stephen to him? She assumed he was dead, like everyone else. So what would it have mattered? Was it the dreams? Did they actually make her suspect he was alive? No, she just didn't want to take a chance that Daryl would feel insecure knowing about a guy from her past. She wanted to avoid another Shane situation over someone who she'd been positive was dead. Right?_ I mean, look at the way he's acting now_._ No, don't blame him. I should have told him._

She carefully moved from Daryl's side, holding her breath trying to get out of bed without disturbing him. It was a challenge as he was a light sleeper and always ready. She took her tarot cards and the bedside candle and moved to the wall turning her back to him, blocking the light as she lit the flame. She shuffled, breathed, then dipped. The Queen of Wands. Her eyes widened. It was her astrological correspondent card as the Strength card was Daryl's. It represented fire and Sagittarius.

_The Queen of Wands indicates you will find a solution to your current predicament that will bring you to a place of true confidence; this card shows that you will soon tackle obstacles that will once and for all make you believe in yourself. Success seems to come in the blink of an eye, but it has been the accumulation of wisdom and using your inner strength; a process that was years in the making and lead you to this and all future victories. You finally own the self-assurance and undistracted calm that runs throughout this card_.

Couldn't have been better. She'd make Daryl see he could trust her, that their relationship was more important than anything from her past. They'd come too far to let this ruin anything. She cared about their present. She was about to put the cards back when something made her pull the next one on top of the deck. Strength. Daryl's astrological card. She caught her breath. She'd never gotten them both in a reading together before. She looked to the card combination section of her reference book.

_The two fire sign cards have the potential to form an unbreakable bond, however, both the Queen of Wands and Strength must master and defeat their respective insecurities. The key to their future is to destroy insecurity and trust each other completely.__ The relationship between the Queen and Strength the lion, is one in which they master all of their talents and harness them. They compliment each other._

There was no doubt to its meaning. Why couldn't he see it? No one would ever come between them. She carefully placed the two cards on her pillow face up and headed downstairs.

She hadn't had a chance to talk to Stephen alone at all since he'd arrived. She felt wrong, somehow sneaky, as she moved carefully and silently down the stairs. She looked back at Daryl making sure he was still asleep.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

They sat on the floor beside each other in the silver-gray light that illuminated the cell block every night, the bars between them.

"I never thought I'd see you again." She said still feeling like he was a ghost.

"Figured you'd never want to." Stephen answered.

"It wasn't like that. I've felt guilty every day since I left."

"Why?" I let **you** down. See, I don't** expect** forgiveness. I know whether it comes or not, it's none of my business. The only thing that matters is what I do to earn it."

"Of course I forgave you. A long time ago. Its myself I can't forgive for walking out on you when you needed me."

"No. You did what I taught you. You took care of yourself."

She started to tear up. "You saved my life but when you were losing yours I bailed. I just...I owed you...I..."

"I don't blame you. I'm glad you left. Shit, I was a junkie, Danni. Job or not, I was. I used it as an excuse with you." He shook his head, still a little ashamed despite his five years sober. We had a good run, four good years before I fucked it all up."

"I couldn't wait around for you, not knowing if you'd come back to me or not. You were so** gone,** just not you anymore. I couldn't understand how you helped me but then couldn't help yourself. I didn't know what to do."

"It's okay. It wasn't your fight, it was mine."

"I'm glad you came back from it. Didn't keep you down long?"

"No, a year of hell, but my Lt helped me pull it together and you know, I took my own advice." He paused. "You did the right thing. Sometimes we aren't meant to know somebody forever. Some journeys are supposed to end. Know what I'm saying?"

"I think so."

"People have to leave your life to make room for somebody new. Letting go frees you up for that. Its like this: do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present."

She put her head in her hands almost laughing. "You still have it." He could still charm her when he wanted to.

"Most def. it's a lifestyle, know what I'm saying? How the hell you think I been dealing with all this apocalyptic shit so good? "

"What** are** you doing here?" Danni asked becoming serious.

Before he answered she added. "And why are you being such a dick?"

"Which answer you want first? Both kind of obvious."

She nodded. "Yeah, well..."

"Danni, if I'm voted out tomorrow, don't worry. Some journeys are supposed to end." He repeated.

"Look, it'll work out. I've talked to Rick, everybody else seems to like you."

"Good group of people. T Dog reminds me of my old partner on the job. Feel like I've known him forever."

"I just have to talk to Daryl. He needed time. I'll do it in the morning."

"So what's up with this pissed off redneck you hanging out with now?"

"Watch what you call him. That's my husband you're talking about." She smiled that smile Stephen had always loved.

"No shit?"

She showed him the ring.

He smiled back. "Damn girl. So he's doing right by the kid. Good man you have there.'

"He is. He's ...everything I ever wanted."

Stephen saw love and devotion in her eyes. He could always read her eyes.

"You deserve it. You know that right?"

She nodded. "I love him. He makes me so happy, you have no idea. I mean, could you ever imagine me pregnant?"

"Hell no, baby girl. Thought that mother of yours scared you off permanently. Didn't want to say anything, but since you brought it up..."

"But its **his.** That makes it different. I love him so much I actually want this. Its crazy. I wouldn't want the old world back if it meant I wouldn't have met him."

"You seem really good. He must be doing something right."

"Everything. He's doing everything right. Remember we used to talk about soul mates, how you believed everybody has one out there somewhere?"

He nodded.

"I found mine. I really did."

When Daryl woke and noticed she was gone he headed downstairs knowing he'd find her there, with **him.**

They were talking and didn't notice him approach slowly from behind, hidden in the shadows. He was about to charge forward angrily and face her when he overheard her say _"my husband._" He moved back against the wall further from their line of sight and heard the rest of the conversation.

_"I love him, he's everything I ever wanted, he makes me happy, he does everything right. Its _**_his. _**_I love him so much I actually want this. It's crazy I wouldn't want the old world back if it meant I wouldn't have met him. Soul mates."_

He felt his anger at her dissolve. He knew he didn't need to be jealous, but knowing and feeling were still two different things. It was like that thing with Shane again. He trusted Danni, it was that asshole he didn't trust.

He finally stepped forward.

"Suddenly start sleepwalking?" He asked gruffly.

He startled her. "No, I ..." Danni started to say.

He reached down and gently pulled her to her feet.

Stephen kept quiet. He held back the sarcastic comments he'd normally make.

She glanced back and gave a quick smile as Daryl pulled her away.

He wanted Danni to be happy, this guy was doing that. He kept his mouth shut as they left.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

"Why won't you talk to me about this?" She walked behind him up the stairs.

"I heard you. All that stuff you said to him." He admitted as they reached the top.

"Good. I meant every word."

"About me doing everything right?" He turned to her.

She nodded.

That was a lot for him to take in even from Danni.

"He knows what you are to me. He respects it. "

"Don't want to talk about him." Daryl wasn't ready for that. "You said...I...make you happy."

"Even now, with the world the way it is, you do. You** know** you do."

There was restless magnetic tension between them. Danni experienced a compelling physical pull that she knew had to be satisfied. Stephen's presence actually drove Danni closer to Daryl. She needed to push it, increase their level of connection and trust. The whole day had urged her toward this.

She turned and taking his hands, gently pulled him over her, close against her back.

"What are you doing?' He moved away and pulled his arms from her hands. "Danni stop."

She faced him "I want to." She was shaking a little. "I want you to."

He shook his head. "I won't."

"I need you and this is the only way. Really need you. Like before."

He looked scared. His dream. "I can't." He was firm, voice barely audible.

"You need this too right now. I know you do."

He shook his head. "You can be on top, it works fine."

She shook her head. "It's different, I want you to hold me, to be closer."

He was silent, unsure.

"Just talk to me, let me hear you the whole time, and hold my face. We can do this."

"Did **he** ever...' Daryl began to ask.

"No. No one's ever."

He considered, then nodded, stepping a little closer. "But stop me if you need to, I'll stop, I will so..."

She turned her back to him and removed her shirt. He touched the tattoos and her scars within their frame. He gently moved his lips across them, massaging her shoulders. That's as far as she could ever get. He unbuttoned his own shirt and pressed his bare chest against her back. she leaned into the heat of his flesh and pulled his arms around her securing them over her shoulders. He felt her tremble, and start to breathe shallowly.

"Talk to me." She managed, trying not to stop breathing. "Let me...hear you."

He held his mouth to her ear while she pushed back into him, letting his voice calm her. "What do you want me to say?" Even that helped.

"Anything" she said shakily.

"I don't know what to...its okay."

She nodded. He kept repeating 'its okay' into her ear. She started to relax, focusing on his low gravelled voice, now rasping with affection and reassurance, his comforting scent and familiar touch on her body. She knew his feel; it was him, she didn't have to see him to know. They stood like that for a while. He spoke softly and nuzzled her neck while holding her tightly against his chest.

"Come here." She drew him over to the mattress and lay down, resuming the position on their sides. He curved his body protectively around hers. Danni's grip on his forearms was tight, her palms a little sweaty and he swore he felt her heart beating against them.

"Don't stop talking. Tell me a story." Her voice shook.

He thought a minute. She was trembling hard without his words so he quickly began. "Heard of a Cherokee Rose?" He asked softly into her ear, his face pressing against her neck.

"Like a flower?"

"They grow out front by the fence. I showed you once." He told her, gently cupping her chin then stroking the side of her face.

"Yeah, I remember. Pretty." Her voice shook a little less.

He went on, "The story is that when American soldiers were moving Indians off their land on the Trail of Tears, the Cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much 'cause they were losing their little ones along the way from exposure and disease and starvation. A lot of them just disappeared. So the elders, they said a prayer; asked for a sign to uplift the mothers' spirits, give them strength and hope. The next day this rose started to grow where the mothers' tears fell."

He paused then added "I'm not fool enough to think there's any flowers blooming for my brother. But I bet one of the ones out front there bloomed for your little sister."

Tears started and she nodded.

"You okay?

"My sister. She deserves that." She'd never told him Tara was dead.

He gently traced her tears with his fingertips.

"Daryl, can we just stay like this?"

"Yeah. Course." He kissed the back of her neck. "Sure you're okay?"

She nodded, "Yeah, good, I just don't think I can... I'm not ready to..."

"Shhh. Whatever you want."

"Yet. Yet."

She was settling into him, feeling calm. She liked him covering her securely, and breathing warmly against the back of her neck. He was making it okay. Daryl had no lingering doubts from his dream. The situation was completely different. She wanted him to hold her this way and he was patient and gentle like she'd said he was. She was at her most vulnerable and it was with him. She chose to trust him this much.

"Hey." she said softly.

"Hmmm?" he said it against her spine sending heated vibrations through her body.

"Names. For the troublemakers. You said I probably had some in mind."

"You do, I **know** you do." She heard the slight smile in his voice.

"Ryder for him and Scout for her?"

"What no Merle?"

"No, no Merle."

They both laughed.

_Ryder and Scout Dixon, _he thought._ Sounded right. _

"Danni whatever you want." He said softly with affection. "Whatever you want."

"But do you like them?"

He nodded "Yeah, a lot."

They were names that had no connection to either one of their families. They were starting fresh, creating their own legacy, their own family and their own memories.

"Here." she put the two tarot cards she'd left on her pillow earlier into his hand.

"What's this?"

"It us."

She pulled him tighter, feeling better with every second that passed.

**_Never knew love like this_**

**_The wind, the moon, the earth, the sky_**

**_Sky so high_**

**_Never knew pain like this_**

**_Everything die, then die_**

**_Never knew love like this_**

**_The sun, the sea, you and I _**

**_Never knew pain, never knew shame_**

**_Now I know why_**

**_Bury me, marry me to the sky_**

**_Bury me upside down_**

**_Cherokee, kissing me_**

**_-Cat Power 'Cherokee'_**

**_ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When Danni awoke to the pale, winter morning light steaming from the high barred window, Daryl was already up and downstairs. She stretched out on her back and gently rubbed her belly, hoping to feel some kicking. "He liked your names," she said to the babies. Last night had been perfect. She and Daryl had taken a step further toward victory. She used the lofty term because it felt like a war sometimes but when she fought her demons with him by her side, she won. The way he'd been last night made her think the whole Stephen thing might just work out.

After dressing she headed down expecting to find Daryl but he wasn't around. Then she noticed the anteroom empty.

Gone. Daryl and Stephen were gone. Danni wanted to say she couldn't believe Daryl would put Stephen out without talking to her, but, she wasn't surprised, just angry. What about talking, what about the vote? She avoided Rick who probably okayed the move and headed straight outside before anyone noticed. She had to catch up, stop them.

_Shit, I need a key to the gate. Glenn._

She returned as he and Maggie were starting breakfast.

"Glenn can talk to you for a second. Outside."

"Sure."

"Sorry Maggie I'll only keep him a minute."

"You need to open the gate for me." She said as he followed her out the door.

"What are you going?"

"To stop Daryl and Stephen."

Glenn looked down. "Yeah, about that... look Rick and Daryl just decided it was best. I'm sorry."

"What about the vote? They didn't even talk to me. That's really shitty Glenn."

"Daryl asked us not to get you this morning. They left an hour ago or something."

"He did, did he? Bastard. He can't do it, I have to talk to him."

"What? You can't go out there. How do you even know where he's dropping him off."

"I heard Rick and him talking, they said something about the train depot being a good spot, far enough away. I passed it with Daryl when we went on the run. I know I can find it. The tracks run right by the road."

She zipped the large, black hooded sweatshirt which covered her belly reaching the middle of her thighs clad in black leggings. She was wearing the he sneakers she'd got on the run. She headed straight for Daryl's motorcycle.

"If I can just talk to him. It's so stupid I know he's jealous, but Glenn he doesn't have to be."

She found the second key duct taped in bottom of the saddlebag. She got on the bike.

"Danni he's Daryl, you know how he is, better than any of us. Just let this go."

"I can't. Stephen saved my life. I have to save his. So will you open the gate for me?"

"Please, let it go."

She shook her head.

"Then I'm going with you. You shouldn't be alone."

"You don't have to."

"Yes I do. You used to be my enforcer remember? Well I'm returning the favor. We'll take Maggie's car though, come on."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o

Daryl had to admit that because this guy wasn't complaining or bitch whining about the situation, he felt a little begrudging respect. He was taking it like a man.

"Won't try to change your mind, just want to get something straight with you." Stephen said to Daryl as they drove. "I'm above-board. I'd never go after a married woman especially not a pregnant one no matter who she was. That is low and I don't limbo, see what I'm saying? Just to be clear."

Daryl kept his mouth shut and his eyes on the road. _This guy is such a douche._

"We are over, her and me. You don't have to worry. That girl is loyal and honest as they come. I had a lot to do with it, but she's come a long way on her own. If she says she's yours she's yours. Give her the credit, okay? Trust her, she deserves it. Hell, I can see how much she loves you."

"Trying to marriage counsel me or somethin?'" Daryl snapped but didn't tell him to shut up so he went on.

"Just tellin' you, you can lose the fear man. There's enough of it in this fucked up world, you got something solid with her, it's one thing you can count on. And hey you're gonna be a dad. You know she's gonna be a great mom right?"

"Yeah she is." Daryl was defensive.

"She's scared to death aint she? Her own mom was a real piece of work, I tell you. Point is, you guys are lucky, don't take it for granted by being so afraid and insecure man. "

"Jesus Christ, who the hell are you tellin' me what I think? You don't know a damn thing about it." Daryl interrupted. This guy talked as much as Danni did, no wonder they got along.

"Let me break it down for you," he continued. "My body's my temple, right? But here? " He pointed to his head. "This is a control tower."

"You still talkin?" Daryl looked over, a confused _what the fuck are you talking about _squint and wince on his face.

"I finally let go. Of thinking that I had any control. See, we aren't in the driver's seat. You can't control anything, not her not anything. Just let go and trust her. I'm done talking now. Just wanted you to know where I'm coming from."

"Now I do, so why don't you go on back there "

One last thing. "Good luck."

Daryl glanced over again. "Hell you mean by that?"

"Cause Danni's gonna be pissed when she finds out about this and you're gonna have to deal with it. If I remember right, it's not fun. When she gets pissed..."

"Thought you was done talking. Jesus."

After a few minutes Daryl stopped the SUV. He got out and walked slowly around to the front of the vehicle and leaned back against the hood. He knew he needed to trust Danni. Last night, when she trusted him so completely, he knew she deserved more from him; more than him acting like a jealous hot head. If he couldn't give her that now, what had everything they'd been through been for? From what she said he should trust her. All that stuff she said to this guy last night-told him straight up she was Daryl's. Now Stephen was basically telling him the same thing. He may not like the guy, but he sensed an honesty to him. A fucked up, obnoxious, annoying honesty, but it was there just the same. Damn it he did trust her. This guy made him think about what his actions would do to Danni, not just how they'd make Daryl feel himself. What the fuck?

_He's head shrinking me and I didn't even know it._

"You're afraid of her huh?" Stephen's voice startled him as he joined him leaning on the explorer.

Daryl shook his head "Fuck you sayin'?'"

"Yeah, I know how she is dog. "  
Daryl's mouth moved into a self-deprecating smile, the guy was right.

Stephen laughed. "Yeah I feel you, really do."

Daryl took a pack of cigarettes out of his breast pocket. He thought for a second, then offered them to Stephen.

He nodded and took one. "Thanks man."

Daryl nodded, lighting his own then holding the zippo out to the other man. "So you're a narc right?" He asked.

"Yup was."

"Ever go to shrink school?

"Nope."

"Coulda' fooled me." He muttered. "Good with a gun?" Daryl asked.

"Yeah, part of the job. Good skill to have these days."

Daryl grunted in agreement. "Never thought I'd know so many damn cops in my life . Whole thing is fucked up."

"Can't be too choosy these days. Just hope you're lucky enough to be surrounded by guys who'll have your back no matter who they are or were. I guess."

At that moment a small group of Walkers emerged from the trees at the side of the road. They were slower than usual, hungry but weakened, probably from a recent lack of human flesh to fortify them. As they got closer the two men looked at each other, daring the other.

"You first." Daryl offered.

Stephen took his police issue folding knife and launched himself close enough to the first corpse to turn it around and shove the blade up into the base of its skull dropping it and silencing its growling hiss.

Daryl nodded then moved forward and threw his buck knife hitting his Walker between the eyes. He retrieved it and motioned to the next one. Stephen shrugged and this time stuck his knife up under the chin and into the brain stem then kicked it down to the ground.

"All yours." Stephen gestured to the last one.

Daryl decided to do a close kill himself. He shoved the knife into the side of the rotting head, powerfully forcing it through the brain with a twist. He pulled the blade out and turned.

They didn't say anything but the little game of 'my dick is bigger than yours' eased some tension. When they got back in the SUV, Daryl turned it around and headed back to the prison.

"You so much think of talking about any memory shit, anything at all about her and you, I **will **put you out. Hear? And stop trying to head shrink me. That's strike two man. And third stay the fuck away from me back there. It's a big place use it. Just cause you're staying doesn't mean I like you around much. "

"You let her win, good thing. I know how it is."

Daryl shook his head. "You deaf? Don't talk to me."

Stephen added "Okay, okay." Then, "Thanks man."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

When they pulled up the dirt driveway, Carl closed and locked the gate behind the SUV.

Rick expected Daryl to be alone so he was shocked when Stephen got out of the passenger side. Daryl didn't say anything just grimaced and stalked inside.

"Can't talk about my past with Danni, can't try to head shrink him and I need to stay out of his way. Small price to pay for staying alive." Stephen explained.

Rick nodded, glad Daryl had changed his mind. Still he wasn't expecting a bromance between these two.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Danni looked around the small train depot. Daryl and Stephen weren't here. Stephen wasn't here. She must have been too late. The sun was warm as the morning grew later and crickets were the only sound they heard. She leaned forward on the hood of Maggie's car, feeling tired and a little defeated.

"Sorry Glenn, sorry you came all this way with me for nothing."

"It's okay." He assured her. "It's good to get away for a while. So quiet here, so weird." He noticed. "Back there, back home, you can always hear them outside the fence no matter where you are".

"And where is it y'all good people are calling home?" The words came from behind them.

Danni knew that voice. Holy shit. This was how it was going down and it was now.

"Merle?" Glenn said it first.

"Well, well, what do we have here? The Chinaman and the rock chick eh? How 'bout a hug for your old pal Merle!"


	39. Blood Isn't Always Enough

***Disclaimer: I like Merle, I really do, but we all know he can be a real bastard at times right? OK that's out of the way...**

***I feel like I've been away forever! Thanks for your patience everyone. Most of you told me you prefer longer chapters, so I'll stick to that with a plan to update once a week. If its possible to do more I will.**

***A lil' shout out to_ OnTheWildside_ for such a wonderful, thoughtful review. It means a lot coming from you, since I love your stories so much :) I'm flattered. And you guys know I love reviews ;**

***Thanks thanks thanks to everybody who is here with D&D at chapter 39! **

***Welcome to new followers, love having you all :)**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo**

_**You abuse the ones who love you**_  
_**You abuse the ones who won't**_  
_**If you ever had a real heart**_  
_**I don't think you'd know where to start**_

_**-Dum Dum Girls 'Coming Down'**_

His obnoxious, self-satisfied gloat ripped through the air, drowning out the crickets and gently rustling leaves. Merle was always louder than necessary.

_No, no, no...not like this, not now..._ Adrenaline pulsed through her. Danni hadn't been afraid of him back at the quarry camp when they'd first met, but presently, she felt queasy fear dripping down her chest and settling into her gut. She had more to lose now. She had everything to lose.

She breathed in deeply despite rising panic and finally turned around to find him leaning in a little too close.

"Back the hell up!" She warned, feeling trapped between him and the car. Anger helped temper the fear and she became determined to stand up to him like any other guy who gave her shit.

"Okay, okay, honey." He stepped away smirking. "Still lookin' good little queenie."

"Fucker." She muttered. Holding her head up, Danni turned her body inward, hands in the sweatshirt's front pockets pushing it away from her stomach trying to make it as baggy and shapeless as possible. So far, he hadn't realized she was pregnant. The oversized sweatshirt seemed to be doing the trick, since the rest of her body hadn't changed dramatically. Besides, he never struck her as the most observant guy.

"Still don't like me much, do you? Well, looks like we got ourselves a second chance to make nice and be friends." He was still talking.

"You made it." Glenn was incredulous; Danni not so much. She stood with her arms crossed glaring at the son of a bitch who just might wreck her life.

Merle had changed since the last time she'd seen him. He looked healthier, clean-shaven and even sober. He wore a new black button down short-sleeved shirt and khaki cargo trousers. Someone had cleaned him up, but his attitude was as menacing and dirty as ever. He noticed Danni staring at the arm where his hand had once been; strapped to it now was a prosthetic artificial limb complete with a bayonet attachment.

"You like that?" He asked waving it proudly.

"Yeah." Glenn managed to get out. Danni didn't answer.

"Well, I found myself a medical supply warehouse. Fixed it up with my own ingenuity."

"Pretty cool," Glenn said nervously.

Merle stood back with that shit eating grin. "Bet you two never thought you'd see me again, huh? Hell I never thought you all would make it yourself."

He moved on to the order of business Danni had been expecting.

"Speaking of making it, you seen my brother? He alive?"

Glenn glanced at Danni.

"What you looking at her for? I'm asking you a question. You seen Daryl?"

Danni remained silent, her eyes pleading with Glenn not to say anything about her relationship with Daryl.

"Yeah." Glenn finally answered. "He's okay. He's still part of our group."

"Hell I knew it. Ya'll take me to him and I'll call it even on everything that happened back there in Atlanta."

They didn't answer.

"No hard feelings. Huh?"

"We can't do that." She finally spoke. "But we'll go back and tell Daryl you're here and he'll come out to meet you."

"Look here queenie, you 'aint keeping me from my brother. I'm the one holding a gun on you." He waved the automatic pistol in his good hand.

His voice became genial. "No need for all this fussin'. Look at it this way, the fact that we found each other is a miracle."

"Or a curse." She muttered looking up at him. He couldn't have been more than 5' 10" or 11" but he towered over her, the sun behind him elongating his form making him seem ten feet tall. His smile, like his lighter voice seemed false, just an act to get what he wanted.

"Y'all can trust me. Lets go. I** want** to see my brother."

"You trust **us.** You stay here." Glenn countered him.

"Afraid I can't do that Glenn. That's your name right? Either I'm going with you or you kids are coming with me."

Glenn became stone faced and stopped talking.

Merle suddenly spun Danni around, grasped the hair at back of the neck and pushed himself up against her, the muzzle of his gun to her spine. She didn't consider the gun, just panicked and twisted, desperate to turn herself around. She dropped to the ground escaping his hold feeling like he'd torn the hair from her scalp. Once sitting, she tried to kick him. He grabbed her upper arm and yanked her to her feet. He hadn't pulled the trigger during her struggle. She took note.

"Quit playing, this aint recess! Trying be nice, this is what I get? Let's go." He shoved her forward and Glenn followed having no other choice. Merle had parked his newer model red pick up truck behind the depot office.

"Now get in there both of you or one of you won't have that choice."

"Let go of me!" Danni reached for her knife, but Merle knew exactly what she was doing and beat her to it.

"Still fightin'. Uh, Uh. We **done** now." He whispered harshly into her ear.

"Now git in the truck son, or she won't be able to."

Glenn climbed up first. Merle directed him to the driver's seat then pushed Danni in beside him. "There you go, that's better. Now we're gonna go for a little ride."

Merle felt he had scared them sufficiently. He preferred terrifying to actually hurting most people, unless he lost his temper, was high on meth or they truly deserved it. But, that was his secret.

"We're not going back to our camp." Glenn was adamant.

"No, we're going somewhere else. You're driving."

As much as Merle wanted to act immediately on the news that Daryl was alive, he was out there on mission for his new boss, searching for any survivors and camps to raid. Over the past several months Merle had met and made himself the right hand man to a leader who was the very antithesis of Rick. It was ironic that the brothers followed similar, but very different, fated paths. Daryl was to Rick as Merle was to this man who called himself the Governor. The Governor was possessive of the new world and wanted to wipe out every surviving group or community except for his own, a small town called Woodbury. He had managed to keep the hamlet in tact, replicating a time before Walkers. Merle had literally stumbled across the place, suffering drug withdrawal and a nasty infection at the site of his improperly amputated hand. The Governor recognized Merle's potential to help him, so provided proper medical attention, sobered him up and offered a quality of life he'd never experienced. The price was to do whatever had to be done. No questions asked. Merle had become a sort of sergeant-at-arms, leading the Governor's group of enforcers; a combination police force and militia. Most of the members had somewhat shady pasts like Merle's own, some criminals others ex military men.

Merle would bring Glenn and queenie back there. It would be easier to get Daryl's location out of them back home where he could enlist help from his men and use proper interrogation techniques. Once he did, well, these two would be another conquest for his boss. He'd get Daryl and the Governor would get to destroy the Atlanta group who'd wronged him. Win win, he thought.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

Glenn, tied to a wooden chair in a dim basement room, finally broke down. "Look, Danni is Daryl's girlfriend. Wife, I mean."

He realized that Merle was not fooling around and wanted the prison's location at all costs. Not just for Daryl; there was more to it. Glenn's eye was swollen shut and his mouth was bleeding from Merle's first few "questions".

Merle had separated Danni and Glenn. He had his subordinates, basically thugs and ex military guys questioning her in an adjoining room. He figured they could have some fun with her if they wanted. Any woman who wasn't a citizen of Woodbury was up for grabs with his guys. Merle took Glenn more seriously. Sure he was a just a Chinese kid, but he was a guy. Queenie was only a woman, another stupid bitch who was expendable in Merle's mind. Until he heard what Glenn had said about Daryl.

"That true? My brother and little queenie in there? You bullshitting me son?"

"Look they're together okay?" Glenn said hoping that would be a bargaining tool with Merle. "She'll get him. He'll come back for Danni, he will. Let her go."

"If you're tryin to put one over on me..."

Glenn shook his head, tasting blood. "I swear, it's true. They've been together a long time now, so... "

But Merle was already through the sliding steel door to where the others had taken Danni.

"Sorry to bust up the party boys," He shouted "But this one's mine."

The guy holding Danni complained "But we didn't even get started. Shit Merle, wait your turn."

She pushed her knee up as hard as she could while he was distracted by Merle. These men reminded her of Dave and Tony's guys. She swore she recognized a few. Bruisers, bikers, ex cops and soldiers.

"Stupid bitch!" He fell back away from her hardly believing the amount of pain her jab to his balls caused. It had been a while since she'd had to do that.

"Yeah, she's too much for you already!" Merle laughed genuinely amused by her feisty move. He walked over and pulled her roughly by one arm, slamming her back against the wall.

"Watch it, I'm pregnant, you idiot!" She hissed. Merle's eyes widened.

He looked around to make sure all the men were watching him. "There's a lot more women back wherever she and that Chinese kid come from. As soon as you get that out of him, you won't have to be taking turns. Maybe a couple of you oughta get on that. I'm takin' five right now.'

As he pushed himself up against her, Danni struggled. "Get off!"

"That's it keep fighting! Makes me more excited. My brother's little whore, huh? Well what's his is mine."

_ Glenn told him? No…no...no... _Danni thought, not wanting her relationship with Daryl making her more vulnerable to Merle.

He squeezed her arm hard, put his face close to hers and whispered, "I aint gonna hurt you. Just follow my lead. When I let you up hit me hard across the face."

_ No problem,_ she thought.

"Oh you're gonna wish you never did that" His voice was menacing. He turned to the others. "Y'all leave now. You may be some hard men, but you don't got the stomach for what I got planned next."

Knowing his reputation, the small group headed out. Only one turned back with a look of concern and disgust on his face. "Is she really your brother's girl? You're sick man."

He closed the door leaving Merle and Danni alone. As Merle stepped away from her, she felt the room shift and suddenly become too bright. She squinted, and a quick wave of dizzying déjà vu passed though her. Danni was back in her dream, its detail intensified; the situation was darker and full of animosity; Merle surly and confrontational.

"So my brother and little queenie here huh? Well, don't that just beat all ya ever stepped in." He snorted.

"Glenn tell you?" Danni asked as if reading a script, but from a tragedy not a comedy. She thought of denying it, but knew she and Merle were destined to come to this moment.

"Can't believe Daryl'd make a move on you darlin'." Merle guffawed loudly. "Bet he had a hard on for you since that day at the lake, way back when. Remember he busted up our little game?"

He waited for her to nod then continued. "That what it was? He** shoulda** gone for that sweet little blonde thing, but I wasn't there to give my brotherly advice." He paused giving her a long once over. "So it was you, eh? Baby brother's always been a little different."

Danni rolled her eyes. He caught it.

"You know I'm the only thing standing between you and some pretty hard ass men on the other side of that door right? Part of me don't even know why. "

When it finally became clear what he was doing, and that he'd saved her from a brutal gang rape and possibly torture, Danni looked at him. "Thanks Merle, I..."

"I ain't doin' this for you queenie. I'm doing it for Daryl. Get that straight right now."

He pushed her against the wall again. "Never liked you much, a little too high and mighty for your own good. But...if you really with my brother I aint gonna let anybody else hurt ya."

_What did he mean by anybody** else**?_ she wondered.

"Watch it I told you I'm pregnant!"

Merle stepped back. "Yeah, you said that. It true?"

She pulled the fabric of the sweatshirt tightly around her showing her shape.

Under his breath he said "Damn Daryl you stupid son of a bitch." After a pause he asked "Is it his?"

"What? Of course."

"I don't know you. I'm just 'sposed to take your word on that? Oldest game in the world darlin', trapping a dumb s.o.b. like Daryl."

"You asshole. Its his." She said again. "And its twins,"

Merle did a double take. "Well he's prolific I guess. Late bloomers always are. Stupid son of bitch." he said again. "Didn't I teach that worthless boy nothin'? And you damn woman, aint you 'sposed to be on the pill or somethin'? Dumb bitch let it happen."

"That's real nice, about what I'd expect from you for Daryl." Then to further compete she added, "We've been together since right after you...well the whole roof thing. I love him and he loves me." She said it defiantly, almost a dare.

"You his first aint ya?"

"None of your business."

"Yeah, you are." he sighed. _That's what this is all about._ Daryl attached himself to her like some infatuated teenager. _That boy gets too damn emotional._

"Love sick puppy dog. Well, Ol Merle is back to fix things now." He laughed that mean laugh again.

"Fuck you."

His eyes became dark and angry as they bore into her.

"Why** are** you doing this for Daryl? You don't like the idea of me with him, do you?"

He shrugged. "I don't, but family problems stay in the family. That's the Dixon way darlin'. "

_Problem? _She didn't like the way he said the word.

_"_Enough chit chatting." He debated his next move. Finding out queenie was involved with Daryl changed everything. **She** would bring him to his brother, he'd take care of this mess with her, then he and Daryl would leave. The Governor would find the Atlanta group eventually with or without Merle. Merle had only been in Woodbury biding time untill he found Daryl anyway. It was a good gig, but he'd always planned they'd take off and be on their own. Just the two of them like it had always been.

Merle took another look at Danni, shook his head and sighed. She was girl you maybe had a wild time with, but that was it. Daryl stupid? Merle didn't consider any woman worth gettin' tied down to. Have your fun then get the hell out. Hadn't Daryl paid any attention? He was screwing up what was left of his life. It was time for Merle to get back in there and set it right. Get back to where they were before they ever met that sorry Atlanta group.

"If I'm gonna get you out of here we gotta make this look good. I aint gonna hurt you much. And not..." He looked down at her stomach covered by the oversized sweatshirt. "Don't worry 'bout that, I aint a savage."

She understood, remembering her dream and nodded. "Okay hit me." She tilted her face up.

He struck that blow to the lower side of her face, his knuckles cutting her lips. and leaving angry red abrasions on her cheek. He repeated it on the other side.

"Sorry honey, had to mess you up some. Not those pretty eyes though". _Bet Daryl likes those eyes_. "When we leave here they need to think your half dead. The man I'm protecting you from makes me look like a pussy cat."

She shook her head and got her bearings, the taste of blood filling her mouth. She spat out red saliva.

"My turn?"

"Hell yeah darlin' take your best shot. Be good if you leave some scratches too. "

_**No problem.**_ Danni thought_. No problem at all_.

Merle pushed her through the door and twisted her arm behind her back, holding it there immobilizing her at his side. She was bleeding from her swollen mouth and a bruise was forming on her cheekbone.

"Well, what you get out of the kid in there?"

"Nothing. He won't give anything up."

"What are you doing with her?'

"Taking her to see the governor. You keep working on that kid til I tell you otherwise."

Merle led Danni out the side door of the building, toward a barricade protecting the town from the woods. She turned her head and noticed in the distance, a town square with a Main street, past the warehouse she'd just come from. He was pulling her in the opposite direction.

"Hey, where are you taking me?

"You're taking me, honey. Taking me to Daryl."

"Not without Glenn I'm not."

"Too dangerous to go back for him now, once they realize you and me is gone, they're gonna have an APB out."

Danni stopped. "I won't do it. I won't take you to him unless you get Glenn."

"Told you too dangerous. Move."

"I can't** leave** him here!"

"Sorry queenie but I don't care about Glenn, only care about Daryl."

Danni refused to move. "Fine, but If I lead you to Daryl you take him back for Glenn. Him and Rick."

"Officer Rick huh? He still in the picture?"

Danni ignored him. "Your word, you'll take them back for Glenn or I'm not moving."

Merle was frustrated. "This what my brother likes about you? Being so stubborn? Well I don't like it much."

He pushed her forward with the gun. Now get going. Wasted enough time."

"You won't kill me."

"You so sure 'bout that?" He said it menacingly.

"You wouldn't do that to Daryl. Whether you like it or not he loves me."

"If he knew I did it. Who'd tell him? I sure wouldn't. You really want to take a chance? To be honest I'd prefer getting Daryl back unattached."

"You can't find him without me."

"Well you'd get me close enough, then I'd take care of you so Daryl and me 'd be free of you and your complications; who'd ever know you and I ever crossed paths again? And your poor boy Glenn there, never be heard from again. It's up to you. "

She considered it.

"I'm offering a good deal here, take me to Daryl, you live and your rugrats live."

He shoved her hard. She repeated, "Glenn. Your word."

"Fine. We'll go back for the Chinese kid."

"He's Korean."

"Whatever!" Merle said as he tied her hands behind her back.

"Now shut up and move."

He'd lead her back to the depot where he'd found her. She knew her way home from there.

She'd dreamt about this twice. She knew she was supposed to take him back no matter how worried she was.

A snarling Walker came up behind them.

"May I?" He held up Danni's knife. She didn't answer.

"I'll take that as a yes."

He approached and drove the blade up into the back of its skill. When he walked back he said. "I figured you woulda' run."

"I want my knife back before I get away. I'm real sentimental about it."

"Move." He said putting it back in his pocket

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo

After trudging through the woods for a while, the only sound leaves and twigs crunching beneath their feet Danni started talking, the way she always did. She couldn't help herself.

"Why'd you leave him? He needed you."

Merle dismissed her. "Did I say you could talk to me?"

"You are the oldest you were supposed to be there. "

"Keep walking queenie and shut up, you got tongue enough for ten rows of teeth."

"I know, that's what Daryl always says to me."

"Boy always was different." Merle shook his head. "Don't know what he sees in you. Just bein' honest. No offense. Can't see it."

She shrugged. "None of your business anyway."

"My family's my business."

"Really? Then where were you? Huh?"

Merle glared, but Danni saw a flash of pain pass quickly.

"What you know about it? What you gettin' at girlie?"

"I saw the scars, he told me about you taking off all the time."

_Scars? How bad?_ Merle wanted to ask her.

"Don't know what Daryl told you, but I raised his sorry ass. He wouldn't be here if weren't for me."

"You believe that?"

"I don't much like where you wanna go with this. You best shut that motor mouth of yours, hear? Beatin' a dead horse don't make it taste better."

"You're the oldest. You should have been there. **All t**he time."

"What you know about it?"

"I'm the oldest too." She said, her tone dejected. "I was there. Except for the end. I was gone just long enough to lose her, my baby sister. "

Merle didn't say anything.

"It got so bad I couldn't stay, but I found us a place to go. When I went back for her the ambulance was outside the house. She was thirteen, no twelve. I never got to say goodbye." Danni's voice switched from pained to angry in seconds. "You don't even realize how lucky you are. You didn't lose Daryl."

She stopped walking and glared hard at Merle. "So stop treating him like shit and tearing him down all the time. And don't mess with his head anymore. He's changed. I'm his family now too. I'm not going anywhere.** I** won't run out on him."

"**You** haven't changed, still full of yourself. You don't know nothing about me and Daryl." Merle snapped angrily.

And she didn't.

Merle had stayed and protected Daryl as long as he could. Danni would be shocked to know she and Merle were a lot more alike than she realized. They both felt they'd let down the only person in their lives they loved. Both got caught up in self-destruction to try to forget but couldn't block out the sad eyes of their younger siblings pleading: 'don't go, don't leave me.' They had the same nightmare of pained, young haunting faces. Looking at each other now it was tragic that Danni and Merle couldn't see their reflections mirrored in the other's eyes. They had both spent their lives running from exactly the same thing. Danni was wrong about Merle, he had tried just like she had tried. They shared misplaced guilt for being just kids themselves. Merle and Danni had shared too heavy a burden for small shoulders.

_When he'd heard the old man shouting his name from inside the house, Merle wanted to run, just take off into the woods. His morbid curiosity got the best of him, however, and he found himself peering in the window, looking to see how drunk the bastard was, what he was gonna use for his weapon this time, the belt, a chair leg, empty bottle? His gut clenched when the old man stopped in front of Daryl. Six year old Daryl just looked up not realizing the evil yet. Merle wanted to run, but all he could think of was Daryl. He watched himself as if from above as he charged back in the house and tackled his father to the floor shouting at his little brother to get to their room and stay there. He could see Daryl's face, peering out the cracked bedroom door watching their dad's fists pummel Merle. When he took the belt from its loops, Merle braced himself strengthened by the thought that at least it was him and not Daryl. Daryl was okay._

_It went on that way until finally it was too much. He'd stayed and protected Daryl for ten years. What the fuck did that black-haired bitch know? If he spent one more damn day in that house, spent one more minute at the hands of his old man he'd do something he'd regret. Then where would Daryl be?_

_Queenie didn't know shit. He loved Daryl. Loved his little brother more than anything in whole damn world. He tried to toughen him up, make a man of him because he knew he couldn't stay forever and Daryl was gonna have to stand up for himself some time; it started when Merle was in and out of juvie and Daryl needed to learn to take care of himself, like a man. _

_"Don't go. What did I do? Why are you leaving me?"_

Daryl's voice had echoed in Merle's head the way Tara's did in Danni's. No matter how much Merle and Danni drank or what drugs they took the voices never went away._ "Don't leave me. Why are you going?"_

_Merle had to run. If he stayed, he'd do something he'd regret. He'd kill the son of a bitch and that's exactly what the old man wanted. Ruin Merle' s life once and for all. He'd be no better than the father he hated. So he had to leave, even if it meant he was leaving behind the only person he ever loved._

_Merle swore he was never gonna be his old man. No matter how far he had to run from him._ Danni was never going to be like her mother, no matter how far she had to run from her.

_He had to get away from his father, from his brother. _The way Danni had to get away from her mother and the memory of her sister.

_He never touched Tara, not while I was there. It may have been me but at least I protected her._ Danni tried to comfort herself with that thought for years. Merle said the same thing. He could have replaced Tara with Daryl.

Because neither Danni nor Merle knew the truth about each other they feared the other; both terrified of losing Daryl. Too stubborn to realize it, they were setting Daryl up to make a painful, unnecessary choice.

"Don't mess with me, queenie. Hear? Daryl's blood."

"Yeah, whatever." _Try me. Just try me. _"Blood isn't always enough."

Merle didn't answer.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo

"She's not here? Dammit. She went to stop me." Daryl knew it. "Shit, thought I'd be back before she woke up." _Stupid, dangerous shit, why does she always do this to me?_

_"_Glenn's with her." Maggie explained. "They took my car."

"So where would she go?" Stephen asked.

"She knew about the depot, she was there when we talked about it." Rick reminded Daryl.

He nodded trying to stay calm. "Couldn't have gotten too far by now."

"Maybe you'll catch them on their way back." Maggie interjected hopefully.

"I'm coming." Rick stated. "Stephen and T Dog can handle things here." Rick was putting Stephen to work. If he was staying, he was earning it.

"Nah, be fine. I need to do this myself." He knew he needed to talk to Danni. He was pissed but he knew she was too. Ultimately he knew the whole thing was his fault.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 

"I can't walk any farther. Merle you need to find a car." Danni complained, feeling faint and light-headed.

"I don't need to do a damn thing."

Danni looked down at her feet in the Converse sneakers and started laughing. She laughed loud and hard, until tears squeezed out of the corners of her eyes. This was the first day she hadn't worn her boots since Daryl had given them to het. The first day without them and these sneakers were useless for this long walk through the woods.

"You having a fit or something?" Merle asked.

She kept laughing. _Those shoes aint gonna do shit for you out here. S_he heard Daryl's voice. _Useless pieces of crap,_ he'd said.

"Shut up and move, this aint funny."

"It is, don't you get it? This whole thing is hilarious."

Merle scowled.

"My shoes...Daryl hates these shoes. And I'm walking in the damn woods in these shoes, he would be so pissed...and I'm fucking pregnant and you...you..." she couldn't breath for laughing.

"I'm what?"

"You're my fucking brother-in-law!" She doubled over laughing so hard she started crying. "And... and...we hate each other!"

She continued to laugh and Merle had to catch her and stop her from losing her balance as her hands were still tied.

"Jesus you might be more trouble than your worth. Batshit crazy is what you are."

Danni was exhausted; her feet hurt, her back was aching and she was feeling dizzy but she couldn't stop laughing.

Finally, she calmed down.

"Seriously Merle we need to stay on the road and find a car. I can't walk any more."

"We almost back to where I picked you up. You got a car there right?"

"Okay, a little more." She agreed but was starting to worry when she felt some cramping. Still she wouldn't show him weakness. "Fine a little more. I'm okay." She took a deep breath putting the pain out of her mind. She just wanted to get back to Daryl. She looked down at her Converse and missed him. Needed him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo o

"Danni! Glenn!"

Nothing.

Panic started to rise is Daryl's chest when he saw Maggie's car parked by the small brick building next to the train tracks. Glenn and Danni had come here like he'd thought, but where the fuck were they? He got off the bike and immediately searched the ground for tracks. He recalled other times he'd tracked her, he'd always found her bandana on the ground. He longed to see the faded red and white cloth now, but he didn't; not this time. He stood up and suddenly did glimpse a flash of red out of the corner of his eye. Daryl thought he was seeing one of those desert mirage things when Merle emerged from the woods pushing Danni in front of him, bandana on her head. He literally rubbed is eyes and shook his head. Nope. They were still there.

"Hey hey little brother!" Merle called out. "Just on my way to find ya."

"Merle?" Was all Daryl could manage to say stepping toward them.

Danni looked up and met Daryl's confused eyes, then collapsed from pain and exhaustion between the two brothers.

"Shit!" Daryl rushed forward. "What'd you do?" He saw Danni's bruised cheek and swollen mouth before she fell. "Why she tied up? Merle?"

"Me? Didn't do nothing."

Daryl was on his knees beside her, holding her face. "She 's pregnant, how far you march her? Jesus Merle!" He untied her wrists.

"She didn't complain, said she was fine."

"Course she did you damned son of a bitch! Wouldn't expect you to understand or think about anybody but yourself. If anything happens to her or..." he couldn't say the babies. "An' you hit her? You did didn't you? You ever touch her again I'll..."

"You'll what?" Merle scoffed at him. "Well little brother you sure have grown a pair. Talking to me like that. You don't even seem all that happy to see me."

Suddenly a physical reaction took over and Daryl fell back into his old response mode.

"It's not like that Merle it's just..."

"Daryl, she aint worth gettin' your panties in a twist over. Just a woman, shit what happened to you? She got you acting like a little bitch. Don't you even wanna know how** I **been, what **I've** been doin' all this time? Hell, weren't you even out **looking** for me no more?"

Daryl looked ashamed for a second. "I went back for you. Me and Rick. You shoulda' waited."

"You still palling around with officer friendly huh? And this bitch here." He nodded down to Danni.

"What happened to you little brother? What is it? You forgettin' bout your family? About blood?"

Daryl didn't answer.

"That's more like it."

"You coulda been easy on her that's all." Daryl held Danni's head feeling helpless.

"Pregnant women been working fields for years. They used to pop a squat in the field, push the nugget out, then keep on workin'. She's fine. Just give her a kick in that stuck up ass a hers and get her goin' back up on her feet. We got a lot of catching up to do."

Daryl ignored him, focusing on Danni, trying to wake her.

"Hey I'm talking to you, not the side of your head boy!"

"Shut up!."

Merle hid his surprise at Daryl's reaction. He didn't like how he was acting over this girl. He was jealous.

"What I always tell ya? Don't name a pig you plan to eat." Merle stated.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me, you're too attached to this one. I understand she's your first so you all in looove," he mocked. Then added, "but face it, she don't belong with you, with us. Not our kind. Can't believe you was stupid enough to git her knocked up. Jesus Daryl, fucking stupid. Good thing I'm back to clean up your mess. Again. We'll just say it aint yours, who's gonna believe her..."

"You son of a bitch." Daryl stood up then and took a hard swing at Merle.

"Watch it brother." Merle caught his arm, but Daryl managed to tackle him. "You don't' know what the hell you're talking about!" They tussled for a minute, then Daryl got back on his feet grimacing at Merle. He'd been waiting for this day for a year, hoping to find Merle again not once thinking that Danni would make a difference. Maybe he'd been wrong. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

"Daryl.."

He heard her and crouched back down.

"Hey, you okay?"

"It hurts, real bad. " She said as the cramps assaulted her. She gasped as one tore through her. "Glenn, they have Glenn. You have to get him. Merle promised."

Daryl realized he was wasting time. Danni needed to see Herschel.

"Okay, okay c'mon, I got ya." He pulled Danni up, and carried her over to Maggie's car, laying her in the back seat. "Glenn...'" she said again and passed out.

Merle stood back shaking his head.

Daryl glared at him; he'd never change. He threw him the key to the motorcycle. "Follow me if you're coming." Was all he said and got in the car.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"What's wrong, why is she still out?" Daryl nervously asked Herschel.

Danni was still unconscious laying on Carol's bunk.

"She collapsed from exhaustion, I'd guess. How far did she walk?"

Daryl shook his head. "I'll find out." His eyes threw daggers behind him at Merle who looked disinterested in the whole thing. He was sitting on the bottom step to the second floor, Stephen and T Dog on either side, watching him at gunpoint.

"She's got a fever, and she's dehydrated. Blood sugar may have dropped too. I wish we could get her some IV fluids. Got to get something in her. "

"What about the ...she said somethin' hurt."

Daryl didn't have to finish, Herschel shook his head. "No way to tell exactly, but they seem to be fine, no bleeding. Thought I felt some healthy movement in there. Kicking. Her pain could have been from straining ligaments, that's all. I'm more concerned about Danni right now. If I can't get her fever down, it could affect them eventually."

Daryl glared back at Merle who just grimaced and shrugged.

Merle sighed dramatically, taking in his surroundings. Rick really knew how to dig into him, having T Dog hold a gun on him. The guy who lost the key that made him lose his hand. And this other guy, new, not from Atlanta. He looked white enough, but his Mr 8 Mile act disgusted Merle.

"Boy, can't tell if you a cracker or a coon, actin' all incognegro." Merle commented, interrupting Stephen and T Dog's conversation.

"I aint your boy, peckerwood." Stephen answered.

"You a disgrace to your race** boy.**"

"Hey Johnny Reb, you a little tense? What we keeping you from a sheep dip or something." Stephen shot back.

"Don't mess with me you slim shady son of a bitch.'

"Watch it, that's my moms you talking about Gomer." Stephen kept his voice light and sarcastic, almost enjoying this kind of banter. He had a knack for it.

"Hey man, he's not worth it." T Dog interrupted.

"What he meant to say is don't start something you can't finish** boy." **Merle got the last word.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo

_"Aint supposed to go outside of the fence." She warned, pushing the black bangs off of her crystalline blue eyes wide with apprehension._

_"Aint 'sposed to say aint. Don't let ma hear you." The boy dismissed his sister's warning. He had brown hair, more like his dad's. He shook it off of his face as he worked on the loose wire. _

_Scout grimaced. "Don't go. Daddy'll be mad."_

_"You're not telling him."_

_"But..."_

_"I swear you act more like a girl all the time. Come or don't come, but keep quiet 'bout it. Daddy never whipped me since I can remember and I aim to keep it that way." Ryder told her. "So just be quiet."_

_"I'm coming." Scout said defiantly. "I'm no girl." She put her little hands on her non-existent hips._

_He pulled the chicken wire up from the ground enough so she could slide under to the opposite side of the rail fence. He then pushed himself through. The two children headed to the woods looking for the dog Ryder had seen earlier that morning. He'd wanted a dog since he could remember. A dog like Fionn's hounds in all his ma's stories. This dog had been friendly, lingering by their fence, enjoying some scraps and head pats. Then he'd taken off into the trees._

_..._

_"What do we do? How do we handle this?" Danni asked Daryl when he'd brought the kids back and sent them to their rooms. As soon as she'd noticed they were not in the house or yard, she sent Daryl out. They were easy to track and he found them right away. He kept a stern face and was silent during the walk home. Ryder seemed less bothered by his father's stance than Scout. Every time she looked up, her tiny face tight with worry, she waited for her daddy to look down and wink at her but he didn't. That bothered her most of all._

_Daryl found it difficult not to give his little girl a comforting wink, but Danni said he was too easy on the kids especially Scout. _

_"What? " Danni asked again. Daryl looked serious knowing he expected something from him. "Well, we aint gonna whip 'em over it." He started laughing, She couldn't believe he said it even as a joke. He was laughing harder than she'd ever seen him in all the nine years she'd known him. It was inappropriate and in the worst taste but his laughter was so real she had to join him. It meant they'd won._

_She hugged him and he said "We'll talk to them. They didn't mean nothing by it."_

_"But its dangerous. They need to know they can't be out there alone, there's still..."_

_"Its okay, I'll talk to 'em."_

_"They listen to you more than me you, know that right?"_

_He nodded and smiled_

_"It was so much easier when they were younger." Danni sighed. "Can we send them back?"_

_"Too late now."_

_They started laughing again._

_"Why are they laughing?" Scout whispered to Ryder as they sat at the top the stairs trying to hear what their punishment would be._

_"Don't know."_

_"Aint they mad?"_

_"Don't say aint and I told you I don't know."_

She opened her eyes, and saw Daryl sitting, hunched over beside her, his eyes far away. As the last of the dream faded she touched her stomach. _You're here. _She looked around and realized she was in Carol's bed, back home. She felt better, the pain had stopped.

"You are a mess you know."

She startled him, but he managed a calm sarcastic, "Thanks.

"No really, you're dirty, exhausted and you look so worn out." She reached a hand up to his face, touching his pronounced sharpened cheekbones, tracing the deep dark circles beneath his eyes. He shyly moved his face from her fingertips. "Hey...c'mon." He softly protested, as she pushed the limp strands of hair across his fore head. "When's the last time you even washed your hair?" She asked.

"Stop making it about me. Are you okay? Scared the shit out of me, taking off like that..."

"I'm sorry, but you didn't even talk to me; you just took Stephen and..."

"He's here. Didn't do it okay? Jesus."

"You didn't...he's staying?"

He nodded sheepishly. "Don't ask me to like him. I won't. But you...you just leaving like that. Look what happened, you coulda' hurt yourself... them." He touched her stomach, then lay his head gently on it as she stroked his hair. "Got Glenn in a real mess too. Can't do stuff like that Danni."

"I don't want to talk about it right now, okay? I need you." She pulled his head up and wrapped her arms around his neck. He leaned in encircling her in his own holding her against him.

"Am I losing you?" She asked into his ear. "Merle hates me, you know."

"Hell you mean?" He asked with a snort. He figured she was still a little out of it. "Stop talking crazy. You don't know him."

_But I do, that's the problem._

After a few minutes he added "We'll talk about him later. I don't even know what happened out there with you two but I gotta go now. Goin' after Glenn. Just wanted to make sure you were okay first."

She hugged him tighter. "Don't. Let Rick do it, please stay with me." She knew it was ridiculous but she said it anyway.

"You know I can't. Don't ask me."

She placed her hand under his shirt and pressed her palm against his stomach making him suck in a sharp breath. "Not fair." He managed to groan as her fingers slid beneath his belt.

"Neither is this." She cupped the side of his face with her other hand and drew him in for a soft kiss. He kept his lips gentle on her swollen, bruised ones but she didn't care about pain and turned the kiss urgent and open-mouthed. He took her breath and she took his tongue. He was starting to reach a point of no return. _Never thought I'd say this_ "Get your damn hand out of my pants," he said into her mouth. She shook her head.

He pulled back regretfully. "Look, I gotta..."

She nodded into his chest. "Go. I know you have to go." She sighed. "You're such a tease."

'Yeah."

"Hurry so you can get back here and give me hell for leaving today okay? Any way you want, I deserve it. You owe me." It was easier to taunt him like this than admit how worried she was. This whole thing was her fault. He was going back to that place, risking his life and it was all her fault. _Come back, just come back._

He stood and exited the cell backward, giving her a small smile within a long look.

Merle had been watching his brother's little 'display' with mixed emotions. When he noticed Stephen start to shift uncomfortably, and turn away from the cell, he took interest.

"You got this?" Stephen asked T Dog and gestured at Merle. "Not feeling it right now..."

"Yeah, go ahead." T Dog answered knowing that as cool as Stephen was, seeing Danni like that with Daryl was difficult.

"What's up with your friend slim shady there?"

T Dog didn't answer.

"Something up with him and queenie? He didn't seem too comfortable with that little goodbye in there. Get a room, huh?"

"Danni 's his ex."

"Really? Well, what do you know about that..." Merle got a little excited at the thought of some ammunition.

When Daryl emerged from the open cell door, he saw Merle giving him a look of pity, or was it disgust? Daryl couldn't tell which. So he'd heard and seen them; so what? _Merle hates me,_ Danni had said.

Daryl just winced and shook his head. "Rick talk to you?"

T Dog left the brothers sensing the heavy tension.

"Yeah, he did. Just waiting on you to get out here. Quite a little show. Makes me wonder... you even posses a pair of balls little brother? They even attached? I mean if they are, they belong to you? Maybe you aint up for something like this. Oughta stay home play pussy whipped bitch with your little girlfriend. Let the men handle this."

Daryl shook his head. "What 's your problem, man? C'mon, Rick and them are outside." Daryl headed for the door, wanting to avoid a confrontation with Merle.

"Don't like seein' what I'm seein." Merle continued baiting him as they walked. "All them years I spent trying to teach you to be a man and this how you turned out? Pathetic. Waste of my time, is what you are. She's walking all over you."

Daryl's expression hardened. He initially registered pain at Merle's ridicule, but anger took over. "Don't talk about her. None of your business. And you taught me shit; weren't around to teach me nothing. Danni's here for me."

"You aim to tell me that piece of ass means more to you than I do? Your own flesh and blood? She's one of them that left me for dead and made me lose my damn hand."

"Man, I went **back** for you. You weren't there. I didn't cut off your hand, neither. **You** did that. Way before they locked you up on that roof. You asked for it."

"You know...you know what's funny to me? You and Sheriff Rick are like this now." Merle crossed his fingers. "You and that black-haired bitch too. Right?" He leaned in close speaking quietly. "Well I bet you a penny and a fiddle of gold that you never told them that we were planning on robbing that camp blind."

"It didn't happen." Daryl looked down.

"Yeah, it didn't 'cause I wasn't there to help you."

"What, like when we were kids, huh? Weren't there to help me then neither! Danni's here for me like you never was."

"Huh? Is that why I lost my hand? You trying to get back at me or somethin'?"

"You lost your hand 'cause you're a simple-minded piece of shit!"

Merle stepped forward and raised his fist causing Daryl to flinch and move back holding his arms up protectively over his face.

Merle stepped back, shocked at Daryl's reaction. "Hey, I..."

Daryl immediately straightened up looking ashamed.

"I...I didn't know he was...queenie said somethin' bout scars, I didn't know he..."

"Yeah, he did." Daryl's voice broke slightly with emotion. "He did the same to you. That's why you left first."

"I had to, man. I would have killed him otherwise."

Daryl looked at his brother wanting to understand.

"I'm on your side, always been on your side." Merle countered.

"C'mon, Rick's waiting."

"No. You and me, we're getting out of here."

"What?"

"You heard me. Time to get back to how things is 'sposed to be."

"I'm going to get Glenn. And you're coming."

"You helping people out of the goodness of your heart? Even though you might die doing it? Is that something your new pal Sheriff Rick taught you?"

"Rick's done alright by me. Glenn too. And if you think I'd leave Danni..."

"What happened to you?" Merle interrupted him with disdain, but followed Daryl outside. There'd be time to talk about this later.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo

"Look Daryl, I hate to pull you away from Danni now...I know..."

"Nothing I can do here anyway." He felt Merle staring at him. The sun was lowering in the west as Rick gathered T Dog, Stephen, Daryl and Merle to head off to rescue Glenn.

"Good. I need you out there."

Daryl nodded so Rick added "When its done we have to talk about your brother you know that right?" Rick said quietly so only Daryl heard.

"Yeah, I know." Daryl said wearily as his inner battle raged again. As much as he was angry at Merle he was glad to have him back. But why? He'd almost gotten Danni killed, he was tearing her down and ridiculing Daryl for their relationship. Daryl found it harder to just take the insults and put downs. Still, he was his brother. He'd been hoping to find him alive for the past year. As soon as Danni was okay things would settle down and they would start getting along. It just took time to get used to Merle, that's all. Once Merle understood how things were between him and Danni and the group, everything would work out; they'd all come around. Merle would do right. Daryl would make him. He just wanted his brother back.

Before they headed out Stephen approached Daryl.

"If you want to stay with her, I got this."

Daryl shook his head, actually respecting this guy for his willingness to risk his life for Glenn, someone he hardly knew, but bristled in spite of himself. He didn't like the personal interaction Stephen initiated. "If my brother's right about this place we're gonna need every one of us."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooo

"You awake?" Stephen stood in the doorway to Carol's cell. Danni was staring at the ceiling trying not to worry about Daryl, Glenn, the Merle thing. So far it wasn't working.

She sat up."Yeah. I thought you'd be gone after Glenn by now."

"In a minute. Didn't get a chance to tell you I'm glad you're okay."

She smiled. "No thanks to you. It's your fault I went out there."

He took her smile as permission to approach and sat on the bed beside her.

"I was trying to save your sorry ass." She hit his arm.

"Can't blame you, it's an ass worth saving."

"Seriously, I'm glad you're here. I knew Daryl would come around."

"Yeah, we're not exactly bffs but I'll take it."

"Want a tip?" She asked "It's that mouth of yours. You dont have to say every single thought that runs through your head."

"That's what you love about me, don't deny it."

"I missed you. I missed how you make laugh and all the stupid shit you say."

He nodded. "I missed you too Danni. Really did."

Without thinking, she hugged him and he stroked her hair instinctively. Suddenly she felt awkward, it was too much. "Sorry," she apologized and pulled back blushing. "Sorry."_ I'm over thinking it._

Stephen reacted similarly. He coughed. "Yeah sorry, so..okay..." He stood up quickly. _Not cool._

"You better go. Rick'll be pissed if you make him wait."

"You know it. Later."

No reason to feel guilty. _We're friends_._ We have a history._ She felt comforted to have an old friend around again. That was all.

Carol had been passing by and noticed their closeness. She wondered about the hug, but only for a second; she knew how much Danni loved Daryl.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo

It was dusk about an hour after the men had left. Danni was on mandatory bedrest, ordered by Herschel. He'd insisted she stay in Carol's cell downstairs, closer to him if she needed anything. She had fallen asleep wanting to go back to the dream she'd had earlier. It had been a good one.

Sophia tapped Danni on the shoulder waking her.

"Hey bug, what's up?"

Sophia looked worried as she sat beside Danni. "I had a bad dream. I mean, I was awake, but I felt like I was having a dream."

"Okay, what was it about?"

"I think Daryl is in trouble."

"What?"

"Something bad is happening to Daryl. He can't see. He's tied up and he can't see anything."

Danni's heart raced and true panic set in. "What?" If Daryl was in danger it was all her fault.


	40. My Husband Should Be Here

**_*I owe credit to Verostar 1221 for the Frank Herbert quote* Daryl draws on in this. It fit perfectly! I was saving it for this chapter._**

**_*Yes here it is again: THANK YOU to all you readers and followers. I never take any of you for granted. Your interest in and love of this story never ceases to inspire me and make me incredibly happy! You are all amazing and appreciated. _**

**_*Welcome new followers and favers. Glad you are along for the ride ;)_**

**_*Tech note: I created a couple of my own minor Woodbury characters. I loosely follow the Woodbury stuff and use it to push my main characters interaction development. Def. don't duplicate the TV show. _**

**_**Also, go easy on me for the action/strategy type stuff-its not my writing speciality ;) I tried!_**

**_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo_**

**_You've been acting awful tough lately  
Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately  
But inside, you're just a little baby  
It's okay to say you've got a weak spot  
You don't always have to be on top  
Better to be hated than loved for what you're not_**

_**You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable**_  
_**You are not a robot**_  
_**You're loveable, so loveable**_  
_**But you're just troubled**_  
_**Guess what? I'm not a robot**_

_**You've been hanging with the unloved kids  
Who you never really liked and you never trusted  
But you are so magnetic, you pick up all the pins  
Never committing to anything  
I'm vulnerable, I'm vulnerable  
I am not a robot  
You're loveable, so loveable  
But you're just troubled  
Guess what? I'm not a robot  
**_

**_Can you teach me how to feel real?  
Can you turn my power on?  
-Marina and the Diamonds_**

_Heavy snow fell silently in the spotlight of the street lamp outside the window behind the couch in Stephen's apartment. Danni tried to count the flakes that hit the glass and crystallized before disappearing in an instant. Gone. A short life made even shorter. She sighed. _

_"Okay," Danni said standing and swaying as the room spun a little. "Okay, let's go. Its time."_

_Stephen looked up from the tv where he'd been intently focused on a Discovery channel show about the social hierarchy in lion prides. He loved these documentaries; he learned more about human nature from watching animals in the wild doing their thing than any psychology class. He hadn't noticed Danni staring at him with a determined expression for the past ten minutes, as she took shot after shot of Jim Beam._

_He looked at the bottle of bourbon on the coffee table. "Damn girl, you 'sposed to be easing up."_

_"I know what you want." Danni batted her thick black lashes trying to look seductive, but as she tried to snake out of her shirt she got twisted in the material and fell forward. Stephen stood and caught her. "C'mon, I'm taking you to bed."_

_"**I** want to take** you.**" She slurred and she awkwardly wrapped herself around him. He picked her up. _

_"Lets go." He steered to the bedroom._

_She fell backwards on the mattress. "Go ahead officer, tell me to spread 'em."_

_He knew what she was doing. They'd been hanging out for a few weeks, not going any further than occasional kissing. When she stayed overnight, he'd sleep on the couch. She'd talked a little about her past and he told her he was fine taking it slow. He meant it. Danni was different. He liked hanging out with her, talking, just looking at her was enough half the time. She possessed and unexpected beauty. So pale. jet black angled bob, heavy black eye makeup allowing her to say more with her eyes than with her dark stained lips. Like a silent movie star. He'd never met a girl like her. She was only twenty but her soul was the oldest he'd ever come across. And one of the most troubled._

_He realized she was insecure thinking she owed him at this point; he could tell by the way she'd started drinking more again the past few nights. When she'd talked about her past he knew sex was a confusing, loaded issue for her. He wanted to show her it didn't have to be, but that would take time. _

_"What's the rush?"_

_"You want to fuck me so go ahead."_

_"Not now I don't."_

_"What? Is there something wrong with me?"_

_"Right now, yeah, you're wasted, girl. Not how to do this."_

_She ignored him. "You don't think I'm sexy?" She started to crawl across the mattress to where he stood at the end of the bed. He watched her trying not to laugh._

_She managed to get her ratty Misfits t-shirt off over her head this time, then shimmied out of her black miniskirt leaving her in a black lace bra, matching panties and garters holding up her black fish net stockings. "I'm the sexiest woman you've ever met. Fuck, just look at me." She slurred._

_"And modest too, just what I like about you." He smirked unable to himself._

_She kneeled in front of him "You want to take off this sexy bra don't you.…" but before she could say another word, she puked on him then passed out._

_"That's real sexy, babe." He said out loud. He cleaned them both up and put her under the covers. Stephen sat beside her watching her sleep, thinking about what she'd told him of her mother and that scumbag Jay. He pushed the hair off her face. __He 'd only known this girl a month and was already getting attached._

_The next morning she dressed hurriedly, her pounding headache fighting her panicked thoughts for room in her head. _What am I still doing with this guy? I'm so outa' here. I fell for him, that smart ass charm — all shifty eyes and defiant slouch, he got to me but this is wrong I can't go any further. I actually think I like him; it's too much.

She _was on the way out the front door of his apartment, just pulling her hood over her hair, when he caught her._

_"Where are you goin'? These are my only days off for a while. I thought you were staying til the end of the week?"_

_"I threw up on you."_

_"So?"_

_"Obviously this isn't working. I know now, its okay, You don't want me _**_like tha_**_t I get it."_

_"You a mind reader? You know what I want? You have a real problem with projection, know what that is?"_

_"Look, its okay, I'm not your type or whatever."_

_He moved in front of her blocking the door. "I do want you. Just don't want to rush it."_

_She looked up at him. At 6" 1 he towered over her. "Bullshit. No guy means that. I don't believe it."_

_"I can tell. Now sit down." He motioned to the small kitchen table. "If you go now you won't get coffee. It's the good shit, got the expensive kind for you. C'mon."_

_She did. _

_"The guys you're talking about are kids, they don't know anything about how to treat women." He was merely 25 himself, but being raised by his strong, independent, older sister taught him to respect and relate to women. _

_They were silent while the coffee brewed. He handed her a bottle of ibuprofen and a glass of water. She looked at his thin frame, all long, lean muscled arms and chest under the white wife beater when he turned to pour her coffee. He had miscellaneous random tattoos. Some arm pieces, buddhist script. __She did feel something physical for him. The first guy ever, she realized with surprise. She thought her mother's men had obliterated that part of her._

_"I'm never drinking again."_

_"Sure, sure."_

_"I'm sorry. I feel like such an idiot.' She shook her head. "Why do you bother with me?"_

_"Youre a damn fine-looking idiot."_

_"Then why won't you fuck me? Its been a month."_

_"You aint ready for me yet."_

_She wasn't; how did he know?_

_He handed her a cup and took one for himself, then sat back down next to her and not across from her at the table._

_"Look I've never...cum before okay?" She admitted, glancing quickly up then back down, not believing she was telling him this. He didn't say anything. "With a guy. For a guy...however you say it. "_

_"You will with me." He was so sure of himself, so obnoxiously confident that she shivered when he said it._

_"I don't even know if I can. I'm messed up okay? Really messed up about that stuff. You don't want to get into this with me. Trust me. I'm just a street rat running from my rapist stepdads."_

_"You really believe that?"_

_"I've never done it sober. I can't stand being touched unless I'm drunk."_

_"I've touched you."_

_"A little." She admitted. "I like...kissing you."_

_"I know you do."_

_She didn't laugh "I...never** wanted** anyone before. I think I want to with you. But….I don't want to be drunk. I want to look at you, see you, feel something. I don't know if I can."  
"Over thinking this girl. You're the one in a rush. I want you too but I don't care how long it takes till its right. It happens when it's supposed to happen. "_

_She looked away. He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger and tilted her face up to his. "Its gonna happen. And it's gonna be good."_

_The way he said it made her tremble a little again. She wasn't going anywhere. She was a sucker for him. He was addictive, affectionate, cocky, self assured, sarcastic, sometimes insensitive, a little dangerous and he made her feel like the only girl in the world._

"Stephen!"

"What?" Danni's panicked yell brought him running.

"You're here? I thought you went …"

"Change of plans. Rick told me to stay, keep an eye on things here after all. Now what are you doing up. What's wrong?"

She was fully dressed, boots on, looking like she was ready to go somewhere. She was tying her hair up into a bandana as she spoke. "I'm so glad you're here. I need your help; we have to go. We have to get Daryl. Something's wrong."

"What?"

"Stephen remember those dreams I used to have?"

"The ones you told me never to mention again. I used to give you shit and tell you to start a psychic caller phone line. Those dreams?"

"Well they've been back and Sophia has them now and she saw Daryl in trouble and its all my fault. He wouldn't be there if I wasn't so stupid. Why did I go? Why didn't I just trust him?"

She was getting hysterical. He knew there was no talking her out of this.

He put his hands on her shoulders "I'll go, you stay here and take calls from your psychic friends, okay Miss Cleo."

"Dionne Warwick was the psychic friends one. God….you are such an ass. Miss Cleo worked alone..." She shook her head realizing how stupid she sounded. "I am going with you."

"No way, you barely recovered from earlier. I got this. Hey, you crying?"

She nodded. "I'm scared."

"Aw, hey let it rain baby."

"You are such an idiot." she sobbed.

"I'll go find him. "

"I can't just sit here. You don't know how to get there. I do"

"Bullshit. You never had a good sense of direction, always getting us lost. Besides Rick and Daryl will kill me. I'm 'sposed to be here taking care of things, keeping everyone safe. Especially you. I'm not walking you holding hands right in to the middle of it."

She stared at him, her eyes red and puffy from crying. He couldn't say no. He never could say no to her,

"Fine, I'm driving."

"Whatever, let's just go.

"Remember that time you puked on me?"

She looked at him horrified. "Why would you remind me of that? "Why now?"

"Trying to lighten the mood. My speciality."

"My finest moment, yeah I remember."

He was starting to remember a lot about their four years together. Stuff he'd buried for the past six.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooo

They drove through the darkness, the headlights cutting a path before them on the dark road.

"I wish **I** had the dream. I need details. How bad is it? Why can't he see?" Danni didn't have pictures but she had an overwhelming sense that Daryl needed her. She was almost nauseous with the feeling that he was calling on her and she wasn't there.

"We'll be there soon and you'll know everything."

"I'm freaking out."

"I know you are."

"Say something zen." Before he could she asked "What if he's dead?"

"He's not dead."

"How do you know?"

"I know."

"Oh, you're psychic too now? You're suddenly getting visions while you're driving 20 miles per hour in the oldest truck known to man?" She stopped. "Shit, I'm sorry, you're killing yourself to get me there and I'm yelling at you. I don't mean it."

"I know."

"I hate feeling helpless. I hate not knowing what to do. I can't lose him, Stephen. I can't."

"You won't. I'll make sure." He said. She had a way of making him do anything for her; it was always 'anything for Danni'. He suspected it was the same for Daryl.

"You know Daryl's not a bad guy." She said.

"I'm sure he's not." Stephen swallowed regret and tried to put memories out of his mind.

"So where to from here?" He asked.

Danni noticed they'd reached the depot. It was dark and truthfully she had no idea which way to go.

"I have no fucking clue." She admitted.

"Rick had Merle map out the route if they didn't make it back by tomorrow." Stephen told her before she got too uncomfortable.  
oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo

Someone ripped the cloth sack from Daryl's head and shoved him forward in front of Merle. His frantic eyes darted around squinting, trying to figure out where the hell he was.

Merle's stomach churned as he saw his younger brother's shoulders rising and falling rapidly. He was gasping, his face turned to the ground, his hands tightly bound behind his back. Daryl raised his head to look at the crowd that judged him scum of the earth. Fiery torches illuminated an angry, shouting mob under the dark night sky. His eyes caught Merle's before he let out a shaky breath. Looking down he focused on the dirt under his boots. Wooden bleachers held more of the irate crowd on one side of the outdoor arena, while makeshift barricades fashioned from junked cars wooden pallets and other discarded debris walled off the place in every other direction. It resembled a violent, twisted high school pep rally where the crowd wanted blood.

_What the fuck?_ What was Daryl doing here? What happened? Merle realized that the Governor had seen through his act the minute he'd re entered Woodbury. He'd thought he'd pulled it off, thought he'd stalled enough so that Daryl and Rick could grab Glenn and get the hell out. Merle had walked right back into town, right to the Governor and his men explaining that Danni had tried to escape and he'd chased her half the day before finally killing her. Now he was back to finish with Glenn.

Merle was sure his plan worked when the small shootout and tear gas explosion at the warehouse occurred. The Governor told him and his guys to check it out and secure the rest of the town against the terrorist attack. Business as usual. When they'd reached the warehouse, Glenn was gone. Merle felt relief and accomplishment. Then the Governor ordered him to this 'community gathering' where he would reassure the citizens that everything was under control. Merle, head of security, would make a speech._ Business as usual, stupid cunt_ he thought about his boss.

But standing in this lions den surrounded by the rabid citizens of Woodbury, screaming for his blood, for Daryl's blood, Merle now saw that he was the stupid cunt. The Governor set him up and was making him a scape goat to relieve the fear and panic in his people. He knew how dangerous the Governor was; under all his fine manners, fancy words and charm he was a depraved psychopath. Still, that knowledge hadn't stopped Merle from lying and hatching this plan. A plan that didn't work out too well, like most of Merle's plans.

"I didn't bring anybody here." Merle growled, as one of his own men ripped the bayonet attachment from his prosthetic and stripped him of his gun.

The Governor scoffed, "That's behind us Merle, now my people want justice. I intend to deliver it to them."

Daryl exhaled and tried to clear his throat. His shoulders rose and fell with each short breath. Merle had seen their old man push Daryl to this point in the past when he was a teenager. It'd been years since he'd seen him panic like this. Merle took a step towards Daryl, speaking low in his throat, "Daryl, get your shit together."

Daryl took a slightly deeper breath before glancing at Merle, giving him an incredulous look, but understood he had to settle down. _Think. Just think_. Suddenly, he smelled her, smelled honeysuckle. He swore if he turned he'd see Danni beside him. Then he heard her voice comforting him, encouraging him. She whispered in his ear _"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain._"*

It was one of those quotes she was always writing in her journal. She showed them to him sometimes and she read this same one aloud the night he'd rescued her from those sons a bitches Tony and Dave. She said it got her through. She was trying to help him now, like she was right here with him. She **was **here **in** him.

The Governor took a step forward and reached for Daryl, who pivoted out of his grasp. He backed into one of the Governor's men and they all laughed as the man restrained him "Aint afraid of you pricks!" Daryl shouted struggling in the guy's grip.

_That's more like it._ Merle thought.

"Take them away." The Governor commanded before turning to his town spreading his arms wide and declaring, "People of Woodbury you have spoken and justice will be served! We will find out where the rest of the terrorists are then we will execute them. Starting with these two." He looked satisfied.

When the were roughly dragged away from the mob, Merle felt more anger well within. He had done a lot for this group and not a single person came to his defense. Two of his own men were holding tight to his arms, gun pressed to his side. What were they names? Mike and Justin or Jason or something like that. _Fucking pansy ass traitors_. He could hear Daryl being pulled along behind him, hear his labored breathing and grunts as he tried to pull free from the man holding him. The man whose grip bruised Daryl's arms was Jack, a dishonorably discharged ex marine. They used to drink together and shoot the shit on watch duty. Any other day Merle would have considered him to be an alright guy.

"For fucks sake." Jack cursed, before delivering a quick punch to Daryl's gut, sick of his fighting. Daryl grunted and sank to his knees coughing. The man then pummeled his face hard with both fists. Daryl couldn't fight back, his hands still tied. He took the punches and spat out blood.

"Come on boys y'all know me. Know I wouldn't lead that group here. Let up a bit." Merle pressed, watching his brother catch his breath. The men snorted and scoffed while shaking their heads, laughing.

"Governor says you are a threat, then that's what you are," Jack stated, pulling up on Daryl's arm. "Cut that struggling shit." Then to Merle, "This your brother? He's one of them, you must be too. Close family huh? It was his girl you raped yesterday right?"

Daryl jerked his head up staring at Merle who gave him a 'don't be a stupid' scowl. Daryl hadn't found out exactly what had gone on between Merle and Danni the day before.

Merle and Daryl found themselves in a holding room in the basement of Woodbury's community safety building. The police station had become center of security operations. This room had hooks that Merle himself has drilled into the concrete floor a few months earlier. Jack threaded some thick chain through them before fastening cuffs to both Merle and Daryl's right ankles. Merle took the opportunity to headbutt Jack's face. The other man retaliated by hitting the side of Merle's head with end of his rifle. Merle just laughed off the forceful blow, his vision blurring a little as he smirked watching Jack wipe blood from his nose and lip.

Merle's amusement pissed the man off so Jack grabbed Daryl by his hair and pushed him to his knees. He smiled at Merle while pulling Daryl's head back and placing his large hunting knife to the shaking man's throat. Daryl felt helplessness physically wrack his body. He had no weapons, no use of his hands; he could do absolutely nothing while this prick was about to cut his jugular.

"Sit down Merle, no more shit." Jack growled. Daryl's breathing became more labored, and he grunted out strangled noises of protest as Jack made a long, superficial slice across his throat with the blade; the cold steel stung and a stream of blood ran down his dirty, sweaty, grit covered skin. The cut may not have been deep but it bled profusely.

Raising his one hand in a gesture of surrender, Merle sank down to the concrete floor. One of the other guys bound his arms to his sides using a thick rope. Merle's eyes didn't leave Daryl who seemed only able to focus on his short intakes of breath.

"You know I'm gonna break your fuckin' face when I git outa here. You do know that?" Merle warned Jack.

"Don't say?" The other man answered and roughly shoved Daryl to the floor.

Once Merle was safely secured, Jack looked over at the other two men. "Governor say anything about** not** roughin' these two up good?"

"Fuck you." Daryl spat. The blood was still running from his neck wound.

Merle could tell that his brother was becoming light-headed by the way he swayed slightly when he had finally pulled himself upright and onto his knees. His shoulders still rose and fell with his short panic filled gasps.

The men laughed, while Jack viciously kicked Daryl in the ribs, slamming him back to the floor.

"Better not do anything else without orders. You two stand guard outside, I'll report back to the Governor."

The men left the Dixons alone. Daryl lay on his side, arms still tied behind his back. His breathing had become unbearably difficult, his vision went in and out of focus. Merle crawled forward the best he could, finally able to talk to his younger brother. He knelt beside Daryl, careful not to touch him. He knew Daryl was tough, even if he did give him shit about being a pussy. Hell, he had seen him take down countless Walkers, give a beating, hold his own. However, when it came to people the boy was weak. Daryl couldn't stand to be touched and his panic now stemmed from all this contact. The helplessness of being a kid returned. This this vicious manhandling at an unfair advantage replicated their old man's abuse. Merle could see it plain as day. Hell, Daryl couldn't even handle people touching him in a quick, kind or comforting way. He couldn't accept a casual hand on the shoulder or arm. Nothing. Damn boy would tense up or shy away even with them girls at the bar back home._ Not with queenie though. For some reason he lets that girl all over him_. Merle had noticed that back at the prison and it shocked the hell out of him.

"Daryl sit up." Merle commanded. He was making Merle nervous. He'd been beaten pretty badly and the way he was just lying there on his side wasn't right. Merle did the only thing he knew how.

"Like me to get your pillow? Maybe rub your feet?"

"Screw you." Daryl muttered.

"Huh-uh. You're the one screwed from the looks of it. All them years I spent trying to make a man of you, this is what I get? Look at you. Lying on the floor like a used rubber. You're gonna die in here, brother. Hell, you had any damn nuts in that sack of yours, you'd be helping me get out of here an' go out there and shoot our pal Governor in the face."

"Jesus Merle, look at us. Can't do nothin' ."

"Now you listen to me. Get up before I have to kick your teeth in. Let's go."

Daryl turned over, but his sore ribs stopped him from pushing further.

"What's the matter, Darylina? That all you got in you? Hey, kick off them damn high heels, throw away that purse and get **up girl**."

"You'd best shut the hell up."

"Or what? You're gonna come over here and shut my mouth for me? Well, come on over and do it then, if you think you're man enough."

Daryl didn't move. just snorted and groaned in discomfort.

"You know what? Never mind. If I were you I'd take a pause for the cause, brother. 'Cause I just don't think you're gonna make it outa this mess."

"Jesus just stop. Leave me alone."

"Come on, little brother. Get your damn head straight and be a **man. ** Dammit, think of queenie. What you think she'd say seein' you bein' a weak ass pansy crying on the floor like a little bitch, huh? She wants a** man** not a pussy like you. Get **up** boy!"

Daryl shifted with difficulty but brought himself slowly and painfully to his knees. Dried blood crusted on his neck and the front of his shirt was soaked through with red. He spit more blood from his mouth. Merle laughed and moved away from his brother, sitting against the concrete wall. He knew bringing up queenie would do it. He waited for Daryl to get his shit together, before he gestured to the spot next to him. Daryl and sat and leaned back exhausted, shifting to put less pressure on his ribs.

The thought of Danni forced a last pulse of adrenaline to rush through Daryl. He pictured her face, her smile. He had promised Danni she'd never lose him. He'd promised. More importantly he needed to see her. He sure as he'll wasn't gonna die here and never be with her again. No one would keep him from her. He grunted shakily, "Some group you found for yourself."

Merle didn't respond; he looked away and shifted on the concrete floor. A couple of moments of silence passed before he said, "First group left me handcuffed to a roof like some damn animal."

"We doing this **again**? Shit Merle what do you want me to say? We came back for you. You lit out first chance you got. Shoulda' waited. They're a good group. Rick's a good man, done right by me." Daryl looked at the ceiling.

"Leaving yer kin on some roof in Atlanta is doin' right by you?" Merle growled.

"Let it alone. You never been any thing but a self-centered son of a bitch know that? Never change. It was your own damn fault, gettin' high all the damn time. Just like before the world went to shit. Something else. You said Danni was a piece of trash not worth my time, you said she was laughing at me like everybody else. You were wrong She's treated me better than anybody in my whole life. I don't know what you got against her or what the hell you said to her out there the other day, but it ends now. You respect her, hear me?"

Merle chuckled, causing his younger brother to stop mid rant, shooting a perplexed look at him. Mentioning queenie had brought Daryl back to life.

"So she puts a rise in your Levis. Boy, doesn't mean ya gotta ruin your life."

"Just forget it. Don't know why I even try an' talk to you."

"Okay, okay, so she done somethin'." Merle relented. "She's making you stand up to me, huh? I didn't think you had it in ya. Still, don't get too full of yourself. Just remember She aint your kin."

"She's kin alright, she's my wife. Get used to it." Daryl moved the fingers of his bound left hand feeling for his ring.

Merle shook his head and fell silent. resting his back against the concrete wall, a smile darting across his lips. It felt good to be back with Daryl even in this hellish circumstance.

Daryl was breathing easy again. He leaned his head back. "Got a plan?"

"Get you back to queenie. Don't ask me how yet but that's what I'm gonna do." Merle conceded, wanting to do right by his brother at least once in his life.

"Her name's Danni."

Merle scowled and looked at Daryl with disdain. "Queenie's good enough for me." He didn't have to** like** having her around.

Daryl nodded and pressed his lips together. He still felt vulnerable without his weapons. He'd been stripped of his knife, gun and crossbow and the restraint prevented him from any fighting what so ever. Foreign territory he didn't know how to navigate. At least Merle was **here**. They'd get out of this mess together.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooo

Rick paced back and forth between T Dog and Stephen in the dark behind the tree cover, out of site of Woodbury's rear barricade. Glenn looked shell-shocked and one eye was still swollen shut from his beating.

"I think we should head back in; all of us. We'll cover more ground." Rick stated.

"But they'll be waiting for us, expecting it. especially if they do have Daryl. It's a trap Rick." T Dog answered.

"I can go in by myself." Stephen interrupted. "Look it's what I do. Undercover. Rick I got this." He wanted to do what he was good at. Feeling like the new guy out-of-place and not altogether trusted was getting to him.

"I'll go scope the place out; find Daryl and Merle. Get them out of there. I'll get into the back by walking through the front door."

"That could take a while. We don't know how much time we have. Or if they're even..." Stephen coughed interrupting Rick. He shot a glance at Danni. She knew what he was about to say. S_till alive._

"Rick you said yourself the amount of firepower they have is ridiculous. We can't beat them that way. We can beat them by being smart."

"I'm coming with you." Danni interjected.

"No way." Rick dismissed her immediately. "Daryl wouldn't want it. I don't want it."'

"No, wait. She'd make it better. Yeah, I'm just an average guy looking for safety trying to take care of my helpless pregnant wife here." Stephen explained.

"But some of those guys might recognize her. " Glenn added.

Stephen stood in front of her. "They didn't notice you were pregnant right?"

"No." She stated.

"Okay then, lose the baggy clothes." He took off the sweatshirt leaving her in a form-fitting t-shirt under one of Daryl's flannels. "She is now pregnant."  
He took her hair out of the ponytail and removed the bandana, letting it hang long and full around her face and down her back.

"Now attitude. Act helpless and scared, got it? That's probably opposite of how you were yesterday. Right?" He laughed knowingly.

"Right." Glenn and Danni said together.

"Half of undercover is the act as much as anything else. Those guys won't remember you."

"I was mostly with Merle anyway. Only a couple of them saw me at all."

"Her face, the swollen lip, the bruise." Rick mentioned.

"Hey we been out fighting the bitin' dudes for months feel me? She could have picked up an injury anywhere."

Rick nodded, impressed. "Looks like you have this all figured out."

"Like I said man, it's what I do."

He was still worried; he never liked to split up the group. This plan was highly dangerous. Rick knew in is gut that if it didn't work they'd all die. None of them would leave Woodbury.

"Danni, what do you think, honestly?"

"Rick its the only way to do this with minimal risk of anyone getting hurt. I think we have to go in."

He continued to look at her. She knew he wanted another kind of reassurance. "I have a feeling its the right thing. Go back to the prison. You're right, it might take a while. They need you there. Stephen and I can do this. We'll bring Daryl back. He's not dead. Rick he's not."

"I'm sorry about that. I don't believe it...I..."

"I know, its okay." Danni touched his hand.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo

The Governor studied the young couple through the two-way mirror in the interrogation room of the Woodbury police station. The tall man with the short messy blond hair in the over sized hoodie and flight jacket sat on the bench his long legs stretched out in front of him. His pregnant wife lay beside him, her head on his lap, asleep. They looked exhausted and like they had been through hell out there. After the attack by the terrorist group earlier, he'd been hesitant to allow his men to bring these two strangers in after they'd approached the front barricade asking for safe haven. The fact that they were unarmed and seemingly unthreatening wasn't enough to convince him to let them stay. Finding out the young woman was pregnant however, was. The governor felt a sympathy when he learned of her condition; he had a soft spot for children. He was a father himself. Besides, populating Woodbury was a priority. Looking at the id he pulled from the man's wallet he was glad he'd gone with his gut. It was a police id badge. He was a detective from Minneapolis. The Governor was in the market for a new chief of security. Merle had betrayed him. He had taken a chance on the ex military, thuggish, former drug addict thinking he could harness Merle's attitude and criminal element for his own use. He'd been wrong. The rest of his men were all like Merle. He didn't feel he could put complete trust in any on them. It was time to go in the opposite direction. Real law enforcement might serve him better. It was as if this guy was dropped into his lap. Good fortune comes to those who deserve it. He'd always believed that.

"Let me apologize for the initial, security check, I like to call it" He strode into the room genially addressing Stephen. "But you can imagine how careful we need to be."

Stephen nodded.

"I imagine a man like yourself with your back ground in law enforcement would understand. Detective Mattson."

He handed Stephen's police id back to him.

"I do, don't sweat it."

"That's the wonderful thing about meeting the right people these days. Your old world experience can be quite useful even now."

Danni sat up rubbing sleep from her eyes. They'd been in this room all night. She could see the daylight through the small skylight in the ceiling. She looked at the tall man with dark hair clad in all black. His voice was deep and he had the air of an accomplished public speaker. Did this guy have Daryl?

"I know this might be sudden to bring up but, I have an opening in my security force. I'm actually looking for someone to head it up."

"I'd be interested in talking about that."

"Good. My former head of security well, lets just say wasn't quite suited to the job."

Stephen and Danni kept heir expressions neutral knowing he was referring to Merle.

"Just appreciate finding this safe place and you taking us in like that. Its hell out there."

Well you've found respite here. First order of business is to get your …"

"Wife."

The Governor smiled "Wife to our medical doctor. We've maintained a fully functioning facility. A few of the other citizens here are also pregnant. Dr Londen is a OBGYN as well as general practice physician."

"Lucked out, didn't we honey?" Stephen nudged her.

Danni looked up shyly, and nodded. She was trying to act demure. I'll have someone take her right over. You and I can talk."

Stephen nodded. This was going better than he coud have hoped.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo

Danni lay back on the exam room table after the doctor collected blood and urine samples. The small woman in the blue hospital scrubs and white lab coat had introduced herself as Dr Susan Londen. She had a kind, concerned bedside manner. Danni noticed that she had twisted her long auburn hair into a high bun with two ordinary pencils.

"We'll have your results within the half hour since we still have our in-house lab functioning. "You're a little underweight, especially for carrying twins. Multiples put you at a higher risk for anaemia. You are quite pale so I'm also concerned about that."

Danni nodded, feeling overwhelmed. She never expected to see a real doctor.

"Are you sure its twins? You said this was your first medical exam since you got pregnant right?"

"Its strong intuition that's all. And it runs in my family."

"Mother's intuition, hmm? Well today you'll see how right on your intuition is."

"Really? An ultrasound? I never thought...I mean I never expected to meet a doctor the way things are now. I'm really gonna see them? Really?"

The prospect overwhelmed and excited, but also terrified her. What if there was something wrong? She was underweight, Dr Londen had said it herself. And she'd done stupid things, pushed herself, overdone it. The cramps ….but what hurt most was that Daryl wasn't here. He should be here to share this with her. It was her fault that he wasn't. This whole thing was her fault for being angry and impulsive and... No, she wouldn't let herself go there. She wouldn't.

"Yes, you really will see them." Dr Londen smiled raising the back of the table enough for Danni to see the computer monitor she had wheeled over.

"This gel helps transmit the sound waves from the transducer into your body." Dr Londen expained, her gloved fingers smoothing the slippery substance on Danni's stomach. "Ready to start?"

She switched on the machine. The gel was cold and the movement of the instrument put a little pressure on Danni's belly. She heard the sound waves through the monitor. Then she heard something else. "Is that?"

"Your babies' heartbeats. Both of them. That's some intuition. "

She pointed to the computer monitor and explained what Danni was looking at.

"White or grey areas in the images show bone and tissue, while dark areas show liquid. Here is amniotic fluid around the babies. The growth and position are normal, and the blood flow between them is perfect. They share a placenta, see." She pointed to the black and white pulsing swimming figures on the screen.

"Danni, this looks great, really good." She said continuing to move the cold gel covered instrument over Danni's belly.

Danni could hardly hear the doctor's words. All she registered was their beating hearts. These were their babies, conceived on the night of the full moon on a day when Daryl had cheated death. Ryder and Scout were healthy, strong and growing normally. She'd done it She was already taking the best care of them she could. She started to cry with relief but also pained longing, wishing Daryl was here.  
"Their size is perfect for 24 weeks along. Looking at this I'm thinking your lab tests will be normal but… hey are you all right?' Dr Londen asked when she saw Danni's heavy flow of tears.

"My husband should be here."

"Yes you're right, why don't I send someone for him, I know he's still in with the Governor.

"No, no that's okay." Danni's voice lowered and she pulled herself together. She of course meant Daryl, but she and Stephen were still playing their parts to save him. _What if he never gets to see them…._

"I'm fine, really I am so relieved to know everything is okay."

_"_You can show him the copy after I print it out."  
"I can keep it?"

"Of course." And we'll plan another one in four weeks okay?_"_

Danni nodded.

"Well you must be doing something right. For being out there with no medical care all these months, your babies are in very good health.'

"Strong Irish genes." Danni smiled. Wiping tears away.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo

Danni sat on the bed in the small temporary apartment she and Stephen had been given. She held the doctor's report. Blood pressure normal, no sign of anaemia, UTI, gestational diabetes or pre eclampsia. She didn't understand what most of that meant but she knew that the results were normal. She couldn't stop staring at the ultrasound picture. Dr Londen pointed out the sexes of the babies. Ryder was here and Scout up higher. She never thought she'd ever be in this position. She never thought she'd love anything so much in her life -love completely with a physical, emotional and spiritual connection she'd never thought possible. She had it with Daryl and with her babies. She'd never considered raising them without him. Never.

The sound of the doorknob turning interrupted her thoughts. She whipped her head toward the sound and stood quickly.

"Oh its you." She said relieved, as Stephen entered the room. Danni hadn't seen him since early that morning. The Governor had kept him most of the day, enthusiastic to recruit him.

"They're alive." He said as a greeting.

"You saw him? Daryl's okay?" Relief washed over her face.

He nodded. "He's holding them in the police station basement." Stephen didn't describe Daryl's physical condition. Danni didn't need to know how badly he'd been worked over.

"Did they see you. Do they know…"

"No two-way mirror, but if I play my cards right, this Gov dude is gonna make them **my** problem. Practically has me my name replacing Merle's on the desk plaque."

"Kind of fast don't you think?"

"These days time is crazy you know that. Besides this guy is desperate and pissed. Merle screwed him big time."

She nodded vigorously. "Good, this is really good."

"Yeah, don't worry, I'll get your boy back for you. Boss man won't do anything without me. He needs someone to head up his dirty work squad. So look, why don't you just chill, rest. Daryl's okay for now. Don't worry."

Danni tried to distract herself by exploring the kitchen area of their small living quarters, which reminded Danni of a fancy hotel room.

"Coffee, can you believe it?" Danni examined the coffee maker on the granite kitchen counter top. Its been months. "Want any?"

He shook his head. "You still feel guilty don't you?" He knew she was still edgy.

"Well, Daryl's a prisoner right now…its my fault..."

"Can't do any more about it tonight. He's okay and he'll be okay when I get further with Gov dude tomorrow."

"I might take a shower." Danni relented. "Shit there's a real bath tub, running water…."

"Some fancy crap in there too, that name brand stuff you was always into."

She went to check it out.

"No, frickin way, Kiehl's?" Danni yelled from inside the bathroom.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

When she emerged from the bathroom after showering, he was stretched out on the bed wearing his wife beater undershirt and trousers. She noticed the word Serenity tattooed in large gothic script across his upper chest and collarbones. It was new since they'd been together.

"That must have hurt like hell." She commented. "Its beautiful." She approached and sat next to him, looking closer. "Sandra did it, huh?" She recognized the work of the tattoo artist they'd shared back home. The same woman had done the cherry blossom branches on Danni's back. "Beautiful." She commented again.

"You know I dated this girl, she asked me if it was a stripper's name. Believe that? I said no honey I'm an addict, this aint just some pretty picture. Shit…" he sounded down. "She didn't last. No one did."

"Sounds like you scared that girl away."

He snorted. He looked over at Danni. He took her hand and put it on his chest, above the inked letters, drawing her fingers over them tracing lightly.

"Stephen don't."

She waited but he didn't stop, so she pulled her hand back but he didn't let go.

"I never found anyone like you again. I was an idiot to lose you. You don't know how much I missed you. I thought I was fine. But seeing you, being with you…"

"Please don't do this."

"Damn it what **am** I doing? I'm risking my life to get the guy back who took you away from me. Am I an asshole or what? Must be…"

"Stephen he didn't take me away from you. I was gone a long time ago. I'm sorry, if I did anything to make you think..."

"No no, you didn't do nothing."

"If you want to go and forget about this I understand. But I can't. I have to get Daryl back. Stephen I love him."

"I know, I'm sorry, I'm…" He turned away running his hands through his hair. He took a deep breath and stood. "Its cool. It's cool." He saw the sonogram pictures on the bedside table. He stood and pulled his sweatshirt on over his head. "I need to get out of here for a while."

"Isn't there a curfew or something?"

"Not for the next chief of security." He didn't laugh or make a joke the way he usually did. He grabbed an unopened bottle of Jameson's whiskey from the well stocked bar.

"What are you doing? Stephen ..." Danni knew he was sober. She felt like she'd driven him to drink.

"No worries babe, this aint for me. I'm planning on making a couple of new buddies tonight." He explained shutting the door behind him.

Danni realized he was risking everything for Daryl, for her.

She hated to hurt him. She owed so much to Stephen. She had loved him once. She still did but not the way she loved Daryl. It had never been that complete. She knew Daryl was her soul mate.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooo

_She felt sticky and the film covering her hands and chest smelled metallic like a rusty pipe. It was blood. She was covered in blood; his blood. She pounded on his chest with her fist. "Get up! Get up!' He wasn't responding. "You can make it! This is nothing!" She lied as blood gushed warm and slippery through her fingers as she pressed her palm against the bullet wound in his abdomen. She was crying now, tears falling on the face beneath her mixing with crimson. She couldn't make out his features; her vision blurred as she continued to cry and yell. She felt a hand on her shoulder pulling her back._

_"It's no use. You know I have to, right?" A voice behind her said, as she heard the cock of a pistol. Who was that? Danni couldn't see anyone"s face clearly and the voice was familiar but she couldn't remember who anyone was. Was Merle speaking? Holding the gun? _

_"No! We can get him to Herschel, he 'll be okay please, please..." She kept on._

_"It's too late. Too late, too late." the voice repeated _

Danni woke empty, spent and terrified. She wiped the dream's tears from her face still confused as to who she was with and what exactly happened. Before she had another second to process, Stephen burst into the room. "We gotta move on this now!"

She jumped up and put her boots on. She shoved the ultrasound envelope into the breast pocket of her flannel and buttoned it. "What's going on? How... "

"I got the guards drunk and the keys in my hand." He held up the jingling ring with a 'told you so' smile. "So let's get your man outa' there huh?"

As she followed him to the police station through back yards and alleys he explained the immediacy of the rescue. "Found out the sick fuck running this place is planning a slaughter for your boy tomorrow."

"What?"

"Yeah he's putting the two of them in a fight ring or something. Merle will have a weapon, that fucked up cyber hand of his. Daryl with nothing. Sick fuck. A brother against brother to the death show. Sick fuck." he said again

Stephen had talked with Jack and the others as they guarded Daryl and Merle. He plied them with whiskey assuring them he'd take over watch if they wanted to over do it. They let him in on the Governor's plans for the following morning. After Jack and his fellow guard passed out, Stephen handcuffed them together and took the keys.

They hit the armory room of the station first. Danni saw the crossbow, on the floor. She'd never actually held it before and it took both hands to pick the damn thing up. It weighed a ton. _How does he lug this thing around all the time?_ Daryl's knife lay on the bench along with the bayonet attachment from Merles's prosthetic arm. Danni grabbed Daryl's weapons, Stephen took a couple of shot guns and pistols and they headed down the stairs.

"You get them, I'll watch here okay?" He said as he unlocked the heavy steel door. He tossed her the key to the ankle cuffs. She shoved the door open and rushed over to Daryl sitting on the floor against the wall. His face was dirty and bruised, his expression incredulous. She didn't let herself register his bloody neck and chest. Somehow she kept breathing despite the horrific site.

"What the hell...how did you...?" he started to ask his voice breaking, as she slowly eased herself to her knees and put the crossbow in his lap. She reached behind him and cut the bindings with his knife.

"Queenie brough the Afro Saxon cavalry huh?" Merle commented seeing Stephen at the door.

"Daryl, don't be mad. I had to come. Please don't be mad." She said plaintively unlocking the cuff around his ankle.

She was about to stand up, when Daryl surprised her by grabbing and holding her in a tight hug; the unlikely gesture made her nervous. He was breathing heavily into her neck, and she felt him start to shake. He was holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe. She felt moisture on her neck from his tears.

"Get me the fuck out of here." She said sternly against his ear. "Now, baby." As much as she wanted to hold and comfort him and block out the world, she knew he needed to be on his game and could not afford her emotional distraction. This was bad; whatever had happened to him was really bad.

It worked. He pulled her up with him and focused. He swiped at his eyes quickly and Danni saw them flash capably. He had this.

"Helloooo, I'm still here ya know." Merle called out. "Am I 'sposed to sit here an' wait for you two love birds to..."

"Shut up Merle!" Danni and Daryl said in unison.


	41. Danni And The Dixons

**_*The title says it all. I know many of you are waiting for Rick and the rest of the group to get back in here, they will I promise! Bear with me for one more Daryl -Danni- Merle centric chapter; it is a bridge to the future of the entire group. I love writing the triangle more than I expected. I am exploring the idea that Daryl can grow into 'the man he's supposed to become' even with Merle around. The show implies that Daryl can only change with the death of Merle. I am struck by how much more challenging and intense the transformation would be while still interacting with Merle. Danni's influence helps of course (he doesn't have that on TV) because hey that's what she's here for...Anyway that's why Merle is still with us! _**

**_*Thanks so much Clowny19 for your feedback and support of this story and adding it to your community: For the Love of Daryl Dixon. BTW, Check it out its amazing collection for picky Daryl fic lovers._**

**_*'Note to Self' is now part of 2 communities I am so honored. If anyone wants to suggest the story to other communities I'd love it. Exposure is so amazing!_**

**_* And of course THANK you all for being here! xxxoooxxx!_**

**_*Okay, this is a _monster_ of chapter, I'll let you get to it. I'm frickin' drained ;/ and curious to hear what you all think.**_**

**_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooo_**

**_My love, you have found peace._**

**_You were searching for relief._**

**_ You gave it all,_**

**_Gave into the call._**

**_You took a chance and_**

**_You took a fall for us._**

**_ You came thoughtfully,_**

**_Loved me faithfully_**

**_You taught me honor,_**

**_You did it for me._**

**_ Now I am strong _**

**_You gave me all_**

**_You gave all you had, and now I am whole._**

**_You took my hand, added a plan,_**

**_You gave me your heart._**

**_ You loved honestly,_**

**_Gave what you could release._**

**_I know in peace you'll go._**

**_I hope relief is yours._**

**_-sia_**

"Unlock it." Daryl growled to Stephen motioning to Jack's handcuffs. Jack had woken on the front steps of the police station and was trying to get to his feet as the group emerged from the building. Daryl stopped short as anger welled up; it had been a while since he'd felt this much rage. Hands free, Jack frantically searched and fumbled for his walkie-talkie but Stephen had destroyed it earlier. He had no way to call backup and his partner was still out cold. The residual effects of whisky slowed his movement but his fear and adrenaline pushed his futile attempt to get on his feet. Daryl stomped the man down with his boot and stood with his foot against his chest. "Got something for you." He aimed the crossbow at his forehead between his eyes. Jack was shaking, sweating and trying to avoid Daryl's eyes which were merciless slits. After a minute Daryl swung the bow away and grabbed his knife. He dropped to his knees and sliced Jack's cheek from chin to corner of his eye. Then kicked him in the ribs, hearing them crack, for good measure.

"Piece a shit!" He muttered and turned away.

"Hey boy, you aint finished." Merle called after Daryl. "He's still breathing."

Daryl turned back. "What?" He winced.

"He don't deserve to live after what he did to you, now **take care of it**!"

Daryl was fifteen again. Merle ordering him to do something he knew wasn't right. Only he wasn't a kid anymore and he had to get Danni out of here.

"Nah, let's go, wasting time." He dismissed Merle. He'd paid the asshole back enough. Daryl's attitude confused and angered Merle. He grabbed his brother by the shoulder and shoved him back toward Jack writhing on the ground. "Do it."

"Leave him alone!" Danni jumped to Daryl's defense but he gruffly snapped, "Stay out of this!"

She stepped back surprised.

Merle laughed and handed Daryl his own gun. "That's more like it brother. Put that little woman in her place; she needs to learn to control that damn trap of hers."

"You really wanna do this now?" Daryl asked exasperated."You shut up about her!"

"Here!" Merle shoved the gun into Daryl's hand.

"Gunshot will attract attention. Lets just go!" Daryl dismissed Merle.

"He's right we have to move now, someone's bound to come soon." Stephen said to remind them of the urgency of the situation and to prevent Merle and Daryl's conflict from escalating. "We' re not gonna be invisible for much longer."

Daryl put the gun back in Merle's hand, and walked away. Merle glared, first at Daryl's retreating back then down at the man who'd tortured his brother. "Told you I'd git out of there. Time to break that face of yours like I promised." Merle grinned.

A gunshot shattered their silent cover.

"Jesus Merle you didn't have to..." Daryl started but saw Jack still alive, Merle's boot crushing face. The shot had come from around the corner as two of the Governor's men arrived for the second watch shift and saw the escaping prisoners. Stephen and Merle fired back as the small group made it to an opening in the rusted sheet metal doors propped against junked school buses that served as Woodbury's rear barricade.

"C'mon," Merle shouted "we still got time before anybody else is onto us!" He referred to people. Walkers on the other hand converged as the four of them hit the street outside Woodbury. Worrying about noise was the last thing on their minds as they took aim and shot her way through the group of rotting corpses and headed into the woods. Danni heard another exchange of gunfire from the top of the barricade, not daring to look behind her but kept Daryl in her peripheral vision as he pulled her along beside him, turning to fire as they ran.

Once the shooting stopped and they got deeper into the trees they slowed to a walk and Danni thought they were free and clear. She was thankful for the bright moon guiding them.

Suddenly Stephen fell to the ground. He'd been hit by two of the first bullets, one in his abdomen and the other in his chest. He managed to ignore the pain until now but he'd been slowly bleeding out. Danni lowered herself to her knees beside him and tried help him sit up. Burgundy soaked the front of his sweatshirt. He was tough and made it this far, but the blood loss was finally too much.

"Oh no, no, no, get up, you can make it. " She whispered. "This is nothing. You can do it."

"Not this time angel." He coughed the words and lay back. He hadn't called her that since their first year together. She hated it and he knew it. She started to cry and hit his chest.

"No, you are getting up now. Now!"

Daryl leaned over and tried to pull her back. She shook off his hand. "Stephen get up!"

He went on, trying to suck in full breaths. "Sometimes we aren't meant to know somebody forever. Some journeys are meant to end. Know what I'm saying?"

"I think so." She sobbed the words. He'd said that in her dream

"People leave your life to make room for new ones_. _You go on and have your beautiful kids, okay?" His voice was weakening. She was dizzy with déjà vu and bright light flashed behind her eyes as she relived the dream. It was clear now, Stephen was dying. His blood covered her hands and she smelled rusted metal. She pounded on his chest with her fist. "Get up! Get up!" He wasn't responding. "Don't go! You just came back. Get the fuck up now!" Again she felt blood gush warm and slippery through her fingers as she pressed her palm against the bullet wound in his abdomen. She was crying now, tears falling on the face beneath her mixing with crimson. She felt a hand on her shoulder pulling her back, but not before Stephen smiled weakly and said "Hey angel, I made my amends to you."

_Gave into the call._

_You took a chance and_

_You took a fall for us._

"It's no use. You know I have to, right?" Daryl said, almost pleading with her to accept it. He pulled her to her feet. "I have to."

She froze with realization that Stephen would turn. Daryl had to put a bullet in his brain. It was her dream happening now, Stephen was the dying man and Daryl had the gun that would ultimately save him.

Stephen nodded as Daryl stood over him and aimed the gun. As he took the shot his face was expressionless, except for an earnest spark in his eye. "Sorry brother." He rasped honestly as he pulled the trigger and the crack of the shot rang out.

Danni turned away stunned, horrified, blinded with instant grief. Without realizing what she was doing, she grabbed Merle in a strong hug, pressing her face into his chest trying to erase the image of Stephen lying, bleeding out on the ground as Daryl put the bullet in his brain.

Merle cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably, caught off guard. "What the hell?" He grumbled softly as she held on tightly so she wouldn't crumple to the ground. He slowly, awkwardly put his good arm around her, a bewildered expression playing on his face. After a few seconds Danni saw where she was. She coughed and backed up, shifting self-consciously, not looking Merle in the eye.

"Can't go straight back to the prison in case he's following." Merle cleared his throat and spoke."Its gonna be the Gov'ner's first priority now to find your group and we aint leading him right back there."

"Wait." Danni interrupted. "We can't just leave him here like this." She motioned to Stephen.

"No time to bury him." Daryl stated the obvious.

"Can't we at least put him behind a tree or something. Please. Don't leave him laying out here like...like we don't care." She swiped the last few tears from her cheeks.

Daryl nodded over to Merle who scowled and sighed loudly. They dragged the body a few feet off the trail and propped it against the tree trunk. Danni slipped Stephen's black flight jacket from his shoulders and held it close. That sweatshirt, that damn sweatshirt he always wore. Looking at it now all bloodstained and shot through with bullet holes she couldn't stop the tears from starting up again. He looked like he was sleeping if she just focused on his face. He'd just come back and now she was saying goodbye. He'd cleaned up her last mess.

_You came thoughtfully,_

_Loved me faithfully_

_You taught me honor,_

_You did it for me._

_Now I am strong_

_You gave me all_

___You gave all you had, and now I am whole._

"Cant stay here its too dangerous." Daryl said quietly, shifting uncomfortably and feeling awkward as she cried over this other guy. "Danni, its... its done."

She stood slowly and put on the jacket, pulling it tightly around her.

Merle couldn't handle the prickly, nagging silence for one more minute. So he gave direction. "Lets go. Now I reckon its best to stay off the road and take a detour so we make sure we're not being followed."

_Why do you care?_ Danni would have asked if she wasn't still in shock. She did have a feeling, however, that Merle had no intention of heading back to the prison after this little detour.

"You're right." Daryl admitted.

"Course I'm right, now hurry her ass up."

Daryl pulled Danni by her arm, turning her away from her ex boyfriend's corpse."You okay? We gotta move."

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 

They walked for what felt like hours in total silence, through the trees and brush of the night woods bathed in the moon's silver. They not only watched out for Walkers but also people. This double threat heightened tension in both Merle and Daryl.

Danni felt light-headed and unreal. Stephen was gone. He'd come back into her life, immediately reversed yet another of her bad decisions and got himself killed in the process. If she hadn't been so angry and impulsive this never would have happened. Stephen had always cleaned her up and put her on the straight path. This time he'd saved Daryl's life as well as her own and her babies. _People leave your life to make room for new ones. _She tried to convince herself to accept and believe this was fated. She didn't want blame to take over. Guilt is a useless emotion. Stephen would say that to her if he were here now, along with You choose sadness, it has never once chosen you_. Not this time. _

_oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_

They were still arduously hiking as weak sunlight, brought early dawn over the horizon above the trees.

Daryl heard running water. "C'mon." He said and spit from the side of his mouth. "This way."

"You giving the directions now?" Merle tried to dismiss him.

"Hear it? its water, a creek or something. Down there." He started off toward the source of the sound.

"Fine." Merle followed.

Sure enough at the bottom of a grassy hill within in a small clearing in the pines, they found a fast-moving stream.

"Hey. Let me clean you up." It was the first thing Danni said since they'd left Stephen's body.

He nodded, glad she'd finally spoken. It was easier to worry about her and how she was handling the Stephen thing than think about himself. Maybe she'd start talking now. He figured she'd have a lot to say, hell, she always had a lot to say. Where was it now?

She looked at her bloody battered husband and remembered the desperate hug back in Woodbury_. Do you want to talk about it _was something she never had and never would ask Daryl. That wasn't how he worked. She knew he'd talk if he wanted to and that he very well might never want to. It was easier to worry about him and what he was feeling than to think about Stephen. Daryl needed her support now; whether he admitted it or not she knew something had shaken him back there.

She took his hand and led him to the water's edge where they sat on the bank facing each other. Merle grimaced at the display and sat back against a tree a few yards away chewing on a stalk of long grass.

"God look at you." Dried blood splattered Daryl's face, streaked his neck and covered his chest. His shirt was stained dark with it. He had a bruise developing on his right cheekbone and his eye was a little swollen. She unbuttoned his dark gray workshirt and he tilted his shoulders down so she could slip it off. She soaked the rag he always carried in his back pocket in the clear, cool creek water then carefully wiped the blood from his neck and chest. She scrubbed the crusted blood from his skin, gently pushing his head back to reach his neck better. "That's gonna scar," she said softly and kissed the fresh knife wound running across his neck. He jerked back.

"Just one more for the collection." He spit to the side, acting tough, like it was nothing, but his voice was soft and far away.

Something in his tone and the way he sai_d just one more _told her what he was struggling with. She put her lips back on his throat, this time she didn't let him move away. The past reared its ugly power making him feel weak and defenseless.

"You won another battle baby, that's all. " She said lovingly.

Merle observed from his place against the trunk of the tree. Watching Danni tending to Daryl's wounds stunned him. _How did she do it? No one could ever touch that boy. _When Daryl turned and leaned toward her so she could reach the top of his shoulder, Merle was shocked; well, as shocked as Merle could be. There they were, the faded red-brown slashes across his younger brother's back. He supposed he knew it had happened, but never let himself actually think about it. He hadn't been there. Well he was here now. He wasn't leaving Daryl again which meant Daryl was coming with him.

She had gotten him pretty much completely clean of blood. Now that he was sitting, his adrenaline rush left him and realized the soreness in his ribs. He watched her soak his shirt in the bubbling creek water and ring it out repeatedly until the bloody rinse water ran clear. She spread it out on a rock to dry.

Missed a spot, she murmured. She licked her thumb and rubbed it on his chest, over some last remnants of dried blood. Then she started to massage his shoulders, needing to feel him. Before she knew it she'd gently put her lips on his.

Daryl relaxed into her comforting touch; her hands, as usual, felt right and she knew what to say, what he needed. Even though Merle was probably watching, Daryl let her kiss him, open-mouthed and greedy taking his tongue, running her hands over his bare chest. He pushed his lips back, hard on hers and grasped the back of her neck, massaging it and twisting her hair in his fingers. Part of him felt self conscious the other part proud. He wanted Merle to see this, what he had. He wasn't that 16-year-old kid who couldn't make it with the town prostitute. He was sick of Merle's jokes and put downs about him never getting any, not knowing how. He was damn sick of it.

_Fuck Merle fuck him. Who cares if he's seeing this._

Danni had taken a chance with the kiss, figuring Daryl would stop because of Merle. He didn't; he surprised her seeming to need the contact as much as she did. They finally pulled apart, knowing they couldn't finish this the way they wanted to. She pushed the hair of his forehead and smiled mischievously.

She removed the flannel, the one of Daryl's she'd been wearing over her t-shirt, and handed it to him, with the understanding he should put it on. As he buttoned it he felt something in the breast pocket. She nodded at him with an expectant expression and tiny smile. He shrugged and took the folded envelope out. When he took the black and white pictures out he looked confused, stunned and immediately glanced up at her.

"Its them. Its them and they're perfect." Her voice shook. "They're **healthy** Daryl. There's nothing wrong, they're perfect."

"How? You, these…" He looked at her. "Really?"

"Only good thing about that god forsaken hell hole of a town is their doctor."

He stared at the image swallowing hard and nodded.

"Look here she is." Danni scooted over beside him and pointed out Scout. "That's your little girl."

"And my boy, huh?" He put his finger on the other shadowy form.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooo

_She had long sun colored hair. That's what Merle called it. Not just blonde, it was so golden it glinted yellow like the sun all the way down her back. Luanne. She laughed at him, but always wanted him to say it. Sun colored. He imagined it flying, glittering in the wind as she rode behind him on his chopper down the narrow, twisting back roads at breakneck speed. He heard her laughing, egging him on to go faster, take sharper turns.. __His little daredevil. _She was tough too, tough as he was, really. They were the only two people in the world they'd let their respective guard down for.

Merle absently ran his forefinger over the thick knotted scar of an old bullet wound on the outside of his left shoulder._ Tough alright. That was no lucky shot, the woman knew her way around a gun which made their fights so fucking exciting. Upped the ante he liked to say. Making up was always that much sweeter too.._. His smile suddenly faded.

_He lit out first chance he got. Some said he was a monster for leaving a pregnant woman on her own like that but Merle was running from the bigger monster he was convinced he'd be if he stayed and tried to be a father. He had to run._

Now he realized he was trying to make his brother do the same thing. They'd had the same son of a bitch father after all. Wasn't it in the genes, some shit like that? He was protecting Daryl. Or was he trying to get Daryl follow in his footsteps so Merle wouldn't feel so guilty. Nah, he never felt guilty about anything; he spent his life trying to convince himself of that. Bottom line: he was alone. He was alone except for his brother and he was damned if he'd let a woman take Daryl away. Still, he was torn in two, another feeling he wasn't used to, when he looked at Daryl smiling and accepting queenie's touch. By the looks of what they were doing down there and her condition, she'd made a man of him. Thinking back to that first night on the highway, he'd never really seen anything like her before. Her clothes, tattoos... he'd never have thought... but... she did it. No other woman ever came close. Merle grunted. That said something about her.

Little Rock and Roll Queenie was the one who got Daryl. The One.

_He'd hit her. The last thing he'd ever done was backhand Luanne across the face when she'd flat out refused to get an abortion. She didn't flinch or cower from him. She said she wanted to keep the baby because it was **his**. His. That's when he lost it. She'd said she** loved** him and wanted** his** baby. He hit her again.** Love?**_

"Shit! goddamn it!" He got up and started kicking the dirt and hitting the tree in a sudden fit of channelled rage. He hated remembering shit. When Daryl and Danni looked up at him, he shouted "Let's get moving you two!" He couldn't look at them for another minute.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooo

They trudged along through the fallen leaves, Merle taking the lead as morning turned to afternoon.

"Do you have any idea where we are?" Danni asked him.

"Smells to me like the Sawhatchee Creek."

Daryl countered "We didn't go west enough. There's a river down there, it's got to be the Yellow Jacket."

"You have a stroke, boy? We ain't never even come close to Yellow Jacket."

"We didn't go west. Just a little bit south. That's what I think."

"Know what I think? I may have lost my hand, but you lost your sense of direction."

"Yeah, we'll see."

Danni was sick of their constant arguing. She was also sick of the constant need to urinate. Lately the Troublemakers seemed to think pushing on her bladder was fun. She slipped behind a tree to pee. Again. Neither of them noticed this time or the past, what felt like thirty. times before.

They were still at it when she caught up.

"What do you want to bet?" Merle asked.

"I don't want to bet nothing. It's just a body of water. Why's everything gotta be a competition with you?"

"Whoa, whoa. Take it easy, little brother, trying to have a little fun here. No need to get your panties all in a bundle.

Daryl shook his head and let out a loud breath and aimed the crossbow at the air, just needing to do something while they walked. He kept repeating the action, like a bored, fidgety teenager.

Danni was still unusually quiet. Daryl slowed up so he was beside her.

"You need to eat something." He remembered what Herschel had said about low blood sugar. He also noticed how exhausted she looked She was fighting it but he could see. "Come here, you okay? Need to stop for a minute?" He stood in front of her and brushed loose strands hair off her cheek.

"Aint that sweet." Merle muttered his voice dripping sarcasm and disdain.

She rolled her eyes and bristled at his attitude. "I'm fine, lets just go."

"It's okay we can stop." Daryl glared back at Merle. She shook her head and they kept moving.

Daryl kept his eyes and ears trained for any game. The woods were empty.

"Aint nothin out here except mosquitos and ants." He observed, defeat in his voice.

"Patience little brother. Sooner or later a squirrel will scurry past your path."

"Even so, not much food."

"Better than nothing."

"We gotta find a place to hole up for a little while." Daryl said looking at Danni's ashen, exhausted face again. He didn't want a repeat of the other day and have collapsing from exhaustion. "One of them houses we passed by the turnoff. Rest up and maybe find some food there."

"That what your new friends taught you. Loot for booty."

"Danni needs a break, she has to rest."

Merle looked over at the exhausted girl; he respected that she wasn't whining or complaining and was keeping up. For once Merle didn't have a smart ass or mean comment to make "Lead the way, Bro. "

The sun was setting when they came across a log hunting cabin. The door was locked and only a couple of the windows were broken. Merle picked the lock and they entered. Danni noticed how orderly everything was. The place was sort of frozen in time as if no one had been here since before the Walker shit. The stone fireplace was still stacked with kindling ready to be lit. Daryl had managed to shoot a few squirrels as the day went on. He'd skin them and get them ready for roasting in the fireplace.

Danni headed for the cabin's small bedroom. The dark log walls made it seem small, but the large window brought in extra light, exposing a double bed and a small dresser, the only furniture in the room.

She lay on the bed, and turned on her side to gaze out the window at the setting sun, orange and pink behind the trees. Before long her exhausted body forced her mind into sleep.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Daryl was skinning the squirrels on the back porch when Merle approached.

"Queenie's awful quiet don't cha' think? Now I don't know her all that well but I know she has a motor mouth on her and she aint used it once today."

"She's tired, Jesus Merle."

"You believe that's all there is to it?"

"What are you doing? Trying get a rise out a me, for what?"

He stopped and grabbed Daryl's arm, pulling him aside roughly then half hissed half whispered into his face. "You gotta snap out of this Daryl. You didn't kill that slim shady son of a bitch back there, the Governor did that. Hell, you saved him by putting that bullet in his brain. Shit, I hated that little prick, but nobody deserves to turn into a biter."

"I know, shit Merle. I had to do it. Only...now she's gonna always remember I'm the one who.."

"Fuck what she thinks little brother. 'Sides you should be happy that guy's outa the way."

"I am, real glad, but…he saved our lives Merle."

"Whatever. Get over it and get over it now or we aint gonna get outa this. Hear me?"

"Yeah, Jesus Merle."

"Good. Things are different now. You need to grow up. People do what they gotta do or they die. More dirty work these days. Get used to it. Tell queenie to get used to it too. Aint no such thing as happy endings no more."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

_Suddenly a large owl swooped down from the sky and perched itself on a branch directly in their path. Merle and Daryl instinctively aimed crossbow and gun at the winged creäture that seemed to be all eyes._

_"Wait." Danni whispered, walking in front of both brothers. Daryl understood immediately and put his arm out in front of Merle. "What? This girl is certifiable. No doubt." Merle sighed with exaggeration._

_She looked up as she approached the owl. The bird seemed to stare at Danni. She knew it was the same owl they'd seen at the ghost house. She'd save its life twice now. It was reminding her to pull on her own power. She heard Nana Brigid's voice in her head. "You, like the owl have great intuition and courage and always follow your instincts. You reveal hidden truths, see omens, secrets and help unmask those who wish to deceive you. This owl is also a sign that death is only a new beginning." _

_**Do not forget who you are. **_The words echoed in her head in Nan's voice_.** Do not abandon your gift when you need it most. **_

_As soon as it had appeared, the bird spread its wings and ascended with loud flapping of wings and rush of air. _

"Daryl, did you see that? Did you hear her..." She woke to the empty room, asking her questions to the darkness. Shadows played on the ceiling, ghostly, tangled swaying branches from outside the window. She must have been asleep for over an hour.

"Hey, save some for me." She said emerging from the bedroom. Merle and Daryl were sitting on the floor by the stone fireplace eating the roasted squirrel Daryl had skinned earlier.

She sat between them and took the squirrel Daryl offered her. _Better than nothing._ She was starving.

The brothers ate noisily, Merle the worst offender. She noticed they shared the habit of eating with their fingers, forgoing silverware, even though there was a box of plastic utensils and paper plates nearby. The chewed loudly, licking their lips and fingers eating quickly and competitively, like they were used to one of them taking the last helping away from the other. _Every man for himself, huh?_

"Sorry I couldn't find anything else." Daryl apologized. Before she could answer Merle interrupted.

"Nothing I like more than watching a woman eat squirrel."

"This isn't what you mean by it though, right? " Danni took the bait.

Merle laughed raucously at his own off-color joke. "No it aint queenie, no it aint. Need another girl here for what I'm thinking, 'preciate your sense of humor, though..."

"Merle just shut the fuck up will ya?"  
"Trying to have some fun. Queenie here don't mind, looks like she's been around, 'Ol Merle don't bother her none."

Daryl glared, knowing it was pointless to say anything else.

Seeing them together explained a lot about Daryl's behavior.

She noticed he still had the sonogram envelope. He'd switched it to the pocket of his gray shirt when he changed after it had dried.

She smiled and felt his pride. She was giving him this, this pride because she was carrying his babies.

She wanted to be alone with him, away from Merle. "You tired?"

Daryl shrugged.

"Well I am."

He nodded.

"Sure you 're not? Its been a long day."

He shrugged again.

"Jesus boy, even I know what she'd trying to say!" Merle interrupted loudly. "Just close the damn door behind you. I sure as hell don't need to know about what you two are gonna be getting up to now." Merle stood and flopped back onto the couch.

"Jesus Merle." Daryl, couldn't help but feel the twinge of humiliation Merle could always inflict.

Danni took Daryl's hand and pulled him up. "Ignore him." She said loudly. As she led him to the bedroom, she looked back at Merle whose face showed a 'mind your own business' scowl.

She smiled_ I won_, at him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooo

In the soft glow of the three candles she'd lit, Danni still looked a little shell-shocked. She hadn't said much of anything in hours. Daryl wanted to comfort her, but as usual his mind was blank. He'd been afraid of saying the wrong thing.

"Hey, you haven't talked since we was out in the woods. Some kind of record for you."

She didn't laugh. "Thank you for doing it. You always do what has to be done. I respect that, you know?" She remembered the owl's message.

"I had to."

"I know. You didn't kill him Daryl. You saved him. He didn't turn." She looked at him. "Stephen's gone so we can be here now."

He believed her, but her face was still pained, her eyes far away. He felt distant, empty and lonely for her. He wanted her here with him. **Really** here. He did what he knew would work.

"Think I know what you need." He pulled her shirt off and dropped his head to her neck, kissing the hollow of her throat, and rubbing his thumbs over her nipples. She sighed and reached for him. "Are you sure? Your ribs, God you must be in so much pain."

He shook his head "Its okay, better than last night. Been too long." He said against her ear. For both of them he thought.

He took off the rest of her clothing as well as his own saying, "Not gonna lose me." He laid on his back and pulled her on top of him. "C'mon, it's easier this way," he said as she placed a thigh on either side of him, rubbing against his already sizable hard on. She smiled at how little it took, a look, a little kissing and he was there. The whole scene echoed the night in the Greene's farm after the horse had thrown Daryl when he looked for Sophia and Andrea shot him. The night of the spell, the night they conceived. It was hard to believe they'd gone through so much together. She looked down at his face and read the story it told.

"I'm not too heavy for you, am I?"  
"Hell no, body feels great. You aint as big as you think."

"If I hurt you let me know."

He just shook his head, looking at her, beautiful above him, with her full, round belly. He meant it when he told her she was sexier than ever. He loved her new curves, how her eyes shone more and skin glowed. Ultimately, he realized getting her pregnant was confirmation of his masculinity. He was damn proud. Her strength made her beautiful too. Her confidence and grace going through it all, taking one for the team, was beautiful to him. He knew how much she was doing for him, for them.

Instead of sliding herself onto his erection like he'd anticipated, she pulled him toward her and brushed her lips against his and kissed him softly. There was an undercurrent of affection as well as sensuality in the kiss, her tongue stabbed against his gently and sucked lightly, while her hands caressed his body lazily and he lay back down.

She licked the palm of her right hand then slid it over the top of his erection stroking him softly then more urgently rubbing back and forth creating a tantalizing friction that left him gasping with pleasure. A shudder passed through his body and he had no choice but to drop his head back to the pillow and close his eyes. If he watched her doing it he'd cum in two seconds flat. Suddenly she stopped.

They both stay there for a moment and looked at one another, sharing the silence in complete and utter comfort.

"Let me fuck you," he groaned, unable to wait another second to be inside her. He grabbed her hips and pushed her back moving her above him. "Now."

He was already hard enough for her to let him enter but she pushed his hands away steadying herself above him, a knee on either side of his pelvis. She wanted to feel needed, she wanted him to be desperate for her like he used to be; like he'd die without her. She needed that assurance.

"C'mon, please..." His shoulders and head came off the mattress slightly and his breath hitched as his stomach tightened in anticipation. She couldn't keep his hands off of her hips so she let him guide her very slowly on to him and allowed him entry. She closed her eyes and sank down gently on him._ He said please_.  
Her palms rested flat against his chest, as she moved her hips slowly back and forth. Then she began bringing her body up and pressing him very deeply inside as she came down, spinning her pelvis slowly. "I'm fucking you." Her voice was so low, throaty, and full of desire for him that his hips involuntarily jerked forward and he almost lost it then. She began thrusting down a bit faster on him, excited by the look on his face, feeling his nails digging into her thighs to stop him from climaxing too soon. As she increased her speed, his hands moved to grip her hips, pushing her down on him even harder. She watched the expressions on his face as he lay beneath her, eyes closed. She moved up and tilted her hips forward at the same time then moved down and tilted her hips backward, leaning forward as she did. She repeated this same motion at different paces, watching him loving his expression of want when she found the perfect pace.

Dizzy in ecstasy, her body moved faster and harder as their thrusts worked against each other and then his grip on her hips tightened pushing her clit against him, the friction setting her off. Neither was completely in control of the fucking, they took turns.

She moaned hard, loudly uttering "Daryl..oh my God Daryl!" as her world spun and the wave rushed her. She continued to look at him, hardly able to focus on his features, as his hands pushed and pulled her hips back and forth. She could feel him sliding into her harder with urgency and as she contracted around him, his eyes now lost focus and she made him lose his sense of gravity. He groaned "Awww..." and expelled a loud. harsh breath. She felt him release deep inside and used her last bits of strength to keep moving a little bit faster, holding her pussy tight. Then, she could see nothing at all, as the world shifted its center to this one point, this one last thrust and she came harder the second time around with that maddeningly sweet ache pulsing from her pelvis down to her pussy, almost too much to bear. She whimpered "oh fuck..." and held her breath as the ache throbbed and fluttered to its finish. She leaned her palms on his chest, dizzy and shaking, looking at him while her breathing slowed. The rosy glow that had spread across her cheeks and her beautiful now brown eyes shone with a light that made Daryl's heart skip a beat; there was something about her that was indefinable, almost bordering on paranormal She moved off him still shaky and lay beside him, her head on his chest feeling his heart racing. They needed the release and the fulfillment sex gave them. It **had** been too long. They both lay there listening to the other's breathing, kissing a little, and generally savoring how good it felt to have found someone who stimulated them beyond the physical plane, as always, it had reached them emotionally as well.

"Can I do something?" She asked. He looked at her questioningly. "Turn over." She ordered gently. "Please."

He did and she started to lightly trace the scars slashing across his back. He shuddered at first but let her continue. She hadn't had this much open access to his back since that night at the CDC, so long ago. He'd always remained slightly self-conscious and even as intimate as they were he never let her see his back in the light. He still changed his clothing facing her.

"What's this about? Why are you…" He started to ask.

Those were his marks, his shame. Daryl had never meant to share them, not even with Danni. It had just happened and sometimes he wished it hadn't. She never did anything to make him feel ashamed, that was his job. They were _ugly a_nd represented how weak he was. How he couldn't stand up to anybody, couldn't be a _man_. He'd never been able to protect himself. Never been able to do _anything_. Just like last night. That wasn't who he was. That wasn't who he _wanted to be_. but the feeling never really left.

"We need the pain, it makes us who we are. But we don't have to be ashamed or controlled by it. It doesn't have to destroy us. I've said it to you before and I'll keep saying it until you believe me. It wasn't your fault."

_How the fuck does she always know what I'm thinking, feeling?_

"I wish it never happened to you, but it did. It doesn't make you ugly or less of a man. You are the strongest **man** I've ever met. I love you; everything about you even these." She continued to lightly trace the scars. She kissed them. "You fought, you survived." She paused. "Daryl, you never have to show them to me again. I don't care, I just wanted you to know."

He swallowed hard, not knowing what to say. Sometimes she said so much it overwhelmed him. She expressed herself to as great a degree that he didn't. No words came to him, so he turned back around.

He didn't want to talk about himself anymore. "Hey, lets look at 'em again." He pulled the ultrasound envelope from his shirt pocket on the floor.

"We made them and they're beautiful. Daryl they're perfect."

"Yeah they're perfect."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Merle lay on the couch in the adjoining room listening to them. Was he jealous? Jealous of queenie taking Daryl away or of what his brother had that he didn't? Not just getting laid. She was making Daryl happy._ When he'd asked Luanne why she'd bothered with him, no good Merle Dixon, she always said 'I figure everybody deserves somebody who makes them look forward to tomorrow.'_ Well, except him. He'd blown his chance. He chuckled aloud at the thought. Little brother found it, huh? He thought about the hug queenie gave him. Maybe it was time to let up on her a **little.** **Maybe**.

Right now they were making too much goddamned noise. He couldn't take hearing one more moan or_ Oh God Daryl_ or _fuck me hard_. Queenie's damn motor mouth didn't stop even while she was getting fucked. Jesus he hated noisy bitches in bed. She was annoying but at least Daryl had it in him. He stepped outside slamming the screen door behind him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Danni was surprised to find Merle out on the rickety porch silently looking at the stars, doing what she had come to do. She didn't startle him, he spoke first, sensing her presence the way Daryl always did.

"You can see the hunter's belt up there" He mentioned "Orion."

"My nan called him Cernunnos in Celtic. Hunter and god of the winter sun."

_Maybe Merle and I can have a real conversation. _She thought, but then he said, "You should be thanking me darlin'."

"For what?"

"I taught Daryl everything he knows." Merle raised an eyebrow. Yeah this was the Merle she knew.

""Oh you did huh?"

"Mmm hmm. Taught him how to handle a woman. Gave him all my secrets."

Danni wanted to laugh but instead she said. "I heard all about how you helped Daryl out in that area."

Merle didn't know if she was serious, so he changed the subject. "You know that boy acts different around you dontcha'? Different than with anybody else. I've known Daryl all his life and there aint never been a person who could touch never mind talk to him like you do. I mean he actually talks back right? Even his face looks different when he's around you. You know that?"

"I told you he loves me." She said it quietly.

"You love him too?" Merle could hardly get the word love out.

"Yeah."

"He ever raise a hand to you?"

"Never."

"Ever 'fraid he might?

"No. What are you trying to say? "

"Don't know what Daryl told you about himself but he aint daddy material. We wasn't blessed with what you'd call father of the year."

"I figured as much. But that doesn't mean you have to be like him. Daryl isn't."

"And what you know about it?"'

"Let's just say my mom and your Dad would have gotten along just fine. Oh and my stepdad, that'd be number two, pretty handy with a belt like yours was."

Merle's face registered sympathy for a brief second before he scowled and said "Oh, so you had a tough life, huh little queenie, want me to throw a little pity party for you? That what you want?"

"No, I gave myself plenty of those. I'm just saying that you don't have to let them win. I'm not my mother. It took me a long time to believe it but I do. You're not your father."

"Yeah there's that motor mouth again." He dismissed her.

"Stop trying to scare me off because it's not gonna work. And its a little late for that now anyway. Daryl's gonna be father in a few months. And he wants to be. I told you…"

"Then I'm making you an offer." Merle cut her off. "I'm only making it once, you got one chance. I'm taking Daryl and were getting out of here. Go off and make it on or own. The way it was 'sposed to be when this whole thing started. You can come with us. Now look, I don't like you, but like I said you do something for Daryl and well, the kids and all. You and me just stay out of each other's way."

"I'm going back to the prison. I'm pregnant, I need a stable place to have them."

"That your answer? I take it as a no."

"Daryl isn't leaving either. Things are different for him now."

"Yeah, they are. Rick says jump and he wants to know how high."

"It's not like that. Rick needs him. Respects him. He depends on Daryl." She absently put her hands on her belly when she added "He's got a new family now."

"You keep telling yourself that."

"Don't ask Daryl to leave. Don't make him choose. It will kill him. He'll choose me, but it'll kill him to leave you."

"You keep trying to get under my skin, I'm gonna cut that tongue out."

"The truth is this could be your shot. With your skills, a whole new beginning. You could talk to Rick, talk to the group. You could** stay** with Daryl." _I can't believe I'm saying this._

"There aint gonna be no damn party for me there. Sides I aint gonna live like sheep. That's all Ya'll are you know a bunch a damn sheep. Those people look at me like I'm the devil. I aint begging."

"Yeah, it would be hard, but you won't' even try? You're choosing to stay on the outside and now you want to take Daryl down with you? Not gonna happen."

"You're as much on the outside as I am, girl. I see it. "

_Not anymore. S_he thought_. _"What does that mean?"

"Let's just say it takes one to know one.'

"What are you talking about?"

"Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly darlin'. You just think about it, you really want spend the rest of your life catering to that bunch back their at the prison. You aint their kind neither. I see it you know."

"You can't think like that anymore. The world is different now, you can't do things without people. "

Merle snorted and spit dismissively.

"You know that wall you put up, it keeps out pain, but it keeps out people too. You're going shut out Daryl if you aren't careful."

"So about my deal, I take your answer as no."

He turned away, not giving her a chance to say another word.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo

Danni was agitated when she went back into the bedroom. "Damn him. " she muttered,

"Hey what's wrong? Why you up?" Daryl woke from his light sleep when he felt her lay back on the mattress beside him.

"I know he's your brother but he's a goddamned bastard and he pisses me off."

"What he say to you now?" He turned toward her and raised himself up one elbow.

"He wants me out of the picture you know. He really does."

"No he don't. He talks a game, that's just Merle. He don't mean it."

"Daryl he doesn't want to go back to the prison. Even if you could get him there, the group isn't going to want him. You know that right?"

"I'll talk to them. They'll understand. Merle, Merle's blood."

"It's not gonna work. He'll stir things up." She wanted to say_ cause problems_.

"Its gotta."

"Still, tough sell."

"Sounds like maybe you want him gone too." When she didn't answer he added, "Don't ask me to leave him. I already did that once."

"I'd never do that. I'm with you, no matter what."

"Even if it means leaving the group? If they don't accept him?""

"Is that what you want?"

"No but if I have to...he's my brother." Daryl's voice broke just a little when he said it. "And you're, you're...

"Not going anywhere." She said and pushed him back down. She lay with her head on his shoulder, listening to him breath, watching the tangled branches sway on the ceiling.

Merle was only an enemy if she let him be one. She knew what she had to do and recalled the legacy of the strength card.

_Strength indicates this is not a time to act out in rage or in hatred or even fear, but instead to look at the situation from a place of love and compassion. If you have doubted yourself the Strength card gives you the confidence to fight those doubts. Additionally, if you are feeling worn out or stressed, Strength tells you are going to find the strength within yourself **and within others **to keep going. When Strength appears in a Tarot reading, be assured that you have enough._

She must not take the emotionally driven path, but make choices that are best for everyone. It was the biggest challenge she'd faced. She had to get Merle back to the prison then she had to convince Rick, convince the group to let him stay. She'd once done the same thing with Daryl. Brought him into the group and helped them to accept him. That was what was supposed to happen with Merle. That was fated. And of course the lion taming aspect:

_Why would you, fair maiden, want to keep company with a beast?" Asks the Fool._

_"Because he, also, is filled with a wonderful energy." The Maiden says. "It is wild and fierce, but it can be banked, like a fire in a hearth. I knew if he would take direction from me, we could all be warmed.__" _

_Time to tame the second Dixon lion._

Ultimately it was all for Daryl. She'd do it for him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooo

She slipped quietly out of the bedroom making sure Daryl was still asleep.

"Hey," She called softly to Merle's back as he hunched tending the fire. He never seemed to sleep.

"I have an offer for **you." **She approached and sat on the couch. He turned from the fire and stood looking down at her curiously. **  
**

"You come back to the prison and I'll do whatever I can to make them accept you. If it doesn't work Daryl and I will go with you. I Promise. I'll stay out of your way and you'll have your brother back."

_She had sun colored hair and he'd lost her. Daryl didn't have to repeat his mistakes._

"Deal."

He surprised her.

"Really?" She almost fell over. "You're kidding. Where's the argument?"

"No argument honey." He gave her that shit eating smile, but his eyes were kind for a quick second. "You know what they say, forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads."

"Better make sure you know who your enemies are." She warned.

**_We assume others show love the same way we do — and if they don't, we worry it's not there._**

**_-anonymous_**


	42. Majority Rule

**__****_ *NO SEASON 4 SPOILERS HERE* A few of you asked that I tell you..._**

**_*Thanks to OnTheWildside for the inspiration and convo about the bridge scene. _****_ I think it MADE the chapter. XXXX to you! _**I wasn't going to include it, but you made me realize its THE turning point for Daryl. I wrote my own interpretation of his breakthrough.

**_*I apologize to any Spanish-speaking readers if the Spanish dialogue is incorrect I used an online translation site._**

**_*Lots of Rick in here (wink, wink Verostar 1221!)_**

**_*Lots of heavy emotions...what else is new..._**

**_**Thanks and love to you all- new readers and my old faithfuls! xx_**

**_ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo_**

_**Our love is sweeter than strings**_  
_**Our love is thicker than angel wings**_

_**But still sometimes I can't believe you're real**_  
_**It's just that I've got diamonds in my eyes for you**_

_**Our love is simple**_  
_**Our love is crystal**_

_**But still sometimes you cannot help yourself**_  
_**You step outside and hear bells ringing**_  
_**For you, for you**_

_**I want you back my baby**_  
_**I want you back in my arms**_  
_**I want you back right now**_  
_**They make it so hard on us, baby**_  
_**It's so hard on us, baby**_

_**Trying my best to love you**_  
_**They make it so hard on us, baby**_  
_**It's so hard on us, baby**_  
_**-Jenny Lewis**_

Merle held out his hand. "Deal aint a deal 'til its been shook on."

Danni took it and matched his strong grip.

"Honey. I can't wait to hear what you come up with to say to officer Rick, about me." He sat on the couch beside her leaning forward, elbows on his knees. "Seein' as I'm public enemy number one to him and all. Hell, I nearly killed your boy Glenn back there...don't forget D Dog in Atlanta."

"Its T Dog and I didn't forget. Don't act so proud of it, it won't help my case."

"You got your work cut out for you, darlin'"

She sighed. "You're telling me, but talking is kind of my thing." _Words don't fail me now._

"Ya don't say miss motor mouth?"

Danni looked over at him seriously. "Why are you doing this?"

She heard the fire crackling and the shadow of flames danced on the wall behind him.

"Look, my brother, he wants to be with you. You want to be in that prison. I want to be with my brother. I aint doing this for you, if that's what you want to know. I'm…"

"Doing it for Daryl." She finished his sentence. _Me too._

"Long as we're straight about that. We don't have to like each other, it's a big place from what I recall, plenty of room to stay out of each others way." Merle got quiet, his voice hoarser. "I'm not leaving him again. Got that? This past year without him, I didn't know if he was dead, if I'd ever see him again. I got a another chance. Don't get too many of those in this life."

"So you're gonna try? Try to fit in?"

He smirked. "Let's just see how your little talk goes, huh?"

Truth was, what the hell else was he gonna do? He had nowhere to go and no one without Daryl.

"Hey little brother, here to join the party? We got ourselves a little family gathering." Merle announced looking up to see Daryl emerge from the bedroom. He'd noticed Danni wasn't in bed beside him and heard their voices.

"All we need now is some brews." Merle went on, "What I wouldn't give for a beer as cold as an ex's heart." He chuckled."I'm gonna see if this place has anything that might due for a little vacation."

"What are y'all talking about?" Daryl asked suspiciously

"You, what else? Just tellin' queenie here about all the dumb shit you did as a kid."

"Yeah? fuck you."

"Oh and that we gotta head back to that prison of yours, maybe start to tomorrow morning." He stood and went into the kitchen.

"He serious?' Daryl asked.

"Yeah, he is." She assured him.

"What did you do?"

"Just talked to him."

"Really, what's goin' on?"

"He wants to be with you Daryl. He's not leaving you this time."

He nodded, his face looking hopeful.

"It's not gonna be easy, you know that right?"

"Everybody will get used to each other."

He sounded so innocent and looked so naïve for that moment she wanted to cry. She saw the little boy in him. He still had hope. _ Merle better not fuck this up. _She leaned over to kiss him.

"Can't you two stay off each other for one goddamn minute." Merle complained sarcastically as he stomped back from the kitchen a bottle of Jack in his hand. He held it out to Daryl, who shook his head.

"All right drinking alone again."

Daryl stood and as he turned and headed to the bedroom Danni reached and took his hand.

"If ya'll are on to round two, keep it down or I'll be sleeping outside."

Daryl shook his head. "C'mon, lay off."

"Aw don't be so modest little brother. Walls are thin in this place."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooo

"Thank you for never once doubting this, or me...or us…" Danni said thoughtfully sitting on the bed beside him. She saw the sonograms on the pillow. They were going to be here soon.

He looked over with a raised eyebrow.

"You never asked me not to have them. You never once said you wished I wasn't pregnant or that its too much to deal with. You didn't take off on me."

"Aint too much." Daryl leaned in close to her and rasped. "I want this." He pressed his lips together and looked up into to her eyes. "I wanted it first minute you told me. When I found you after the Dave bastard had you and you said it, said you might be... I wanted it then." He lightly trailed his finger down her neck and ran it over the collar of her t-shirt._ "_What about you? You ever think about not having them?"

She hesitated. "Yeah." She searched his face for disappointment but all she saw was questioning and a flash of...maybe anger? She wasn't sure.

"I did. I was talking to Maggie, it was before anybody knew, and she said it would be stupid to get pregnant now. I started to freak out a little, really be afraid of bringing a baby into this world. There's this herb, pennyroyal, it's all over the place here. It can cause a miscarriage in early pregnancy."

"Kill 'em? You were gonna kill 'em and not even tell me?"

"I thought about it." She admitted, becoming wary of his tone.

"How?"

"I was scared Daryl. And it was only once...before I told you I was sure. After I told you," She looked up at him "I **never** doubted it again."

She moved forward and put her hand on the back of his neck, to pull him in for a kiss but he pushed her away. "Would you have told me? I mean if you did it, killed them, would you have said anything to me?"

She didn't like how he said **killed.** He stood up.

"You were **never** scared? Not for a minute?" She asked.

He shook his head. "Not even for a damned second."

"I'm just being honest. Do you want me to lie?"

"Maybe, maybe, yeah." He headed out of the bedroom closing the door behind him loudly, leaving her stunned. _Where did that come from?_

"Still sharing?" He asked Merle nodding at the whiskey.

"That was a quick one, what she get you a little too excited so you …"

"Shut up and give me that," Daryl took a long swig, downing several gulps of stinging amber like it was water.

"Hold up, hold up, leave some for the rest of us. Aint a race little brother."

After a few minutes the warm relaxed feeling spread through Daryl's chest and he started to think more about what Danni had told him. He sank back into the worn leather couch. Why would she consider abortion? That's what it was, abortion. She hadn't believed in him, didn't really think he could take care of her, of their family. The rational part of his brain was telling him it was only at first; probably not serious; of course she'd be scared, but his pride wouldn't back down and he felt burned. Really burned. She always saw into his core; did she see the weakness? She didn't think he could be a good father after all.

"Merle, you ever wonder what happened to your kid?"

"What you going on about? Can't be drunk yet boy."

"Luanne. You told me she wanted to keep the baby. You figure she was out there all that time with your kid? You ever wonder?"

Merle felt himself grow cold. Daryl didn't know about Luanne being pregnant, he was just a kid then.

"What the fuck you talking about? I never been no daddy, boy."

"You said you wished you didn't run out on her."

"Never said no such thing to you. You really can't hold your liquor."_ How did he know?_ She must have told him, must have gone to Daryl to see if he knew where Merle had run off to.

"You told me man, when I couldn't find Danni and I was giving up and you told me not to stop looking 'cause I'd be sorry." Daryl suddenly went as cold as his brother. That hadn't happened; it had been a dream.

Merle looked at him like he was bat shit crazy. "You sound like you're a few fries short of a happy meal. You're mixed up, boy, Lu musta told you. Shit that woman was a bad as queenie in the big mouth department. "

_It was true._ Daryl realized it had been one of** those** dreams.

"Don't you ever want to know where she went, what happened to them?"

"No. No I don't." Merle lied. "Hell, told her not to have the damn thing. I didn't want nothing to do with no baby. Shit, I gave her money to have it taken care of. She threw it back in my face." A small grimace of regret curled on Merle's upper lip but disappeared quickly when he saw Daryl looking at him.

"You wanted her to kill it? Your own kid?"

"Was a time I liked drinking with you. Now you just a giant buzzkill, little brother. " Merle took the bottle and stalked outside not wanting to remember.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The fact that Daryl still got angry and just walked off, keeping his emotions hostage, made Danni feel lonely and like she was still doing all the work in this relationship. Didn't he know better than that now? When would he just trust her, talk to her? She rolled over on her side. One step forward two steps back. Again. She knew there had to be more to his reaction than just her early fear of being pregnant. That hug back in Woodbury. He still han't talked about it. On top of that she worried Merle might still be influencing him negatively. _Merle._ She was already exhausted just thinking about talking to the group. And what if it didn't work? What the hell was she doing? She wanted Daryl to be happy, but deep down she wasn't sure she trusted Merle. Logic began to fade and her emotional mind took over. She wanted to hide under the covers and sleep forever and not have to deal with any of this. She wrapped herself in Stephen's jacket wishing she could disappear.

When Daryl returned she was laying on her side crying silently. He saw her shoulders hunched and shaking. He'd hurt her._ Damn._ "Hey." He said.

"I didn't want to lie to you."

"Look... I'm sorry."

"Don't you think we should have had this fight six months ago?" She asked exasperated, but that he came back in and said he was sorry was not lost on her. That was progress.

He didn't answer at first then asked "Did you think I couldn't take care of them, of you?"

"No, my God, no. " She turned over to face him speaking earnestly. "Is that what you think? That never crossed my mind. It's me, I was afraid I couldn't do this."

"You? You've been handling everything real good. You've been the strong one."

She shook her head, "What? I'm so tired Daryl, really tired and sometimes I still don't think I can do it. I'm scared to death of labor. I don't even want to think about it... the pain, if there's a problem. Fuck, there's** two** of them and they both have to come out. Once is bad enough I hear and **I** have to go through it twice. **You** are you reason I keep going. Don't you see that? God…why the hell else would I put myself through all this shit."

"I know how hard all this is for you. Hell, I forget sometimes it's harder for you than me. You're going through all the...the physical stuff."

She became sarcastic "Yeah that **physical stuff's** a killer."

"You know what I mean."

"Just giving you shit."

"But you know right?" He asked the question as much with his eyes as his voice. She knew he didn't have the words, but sometimes he didn't need them with her. She understood. She nodded.

"Nothing is ever gonna be easy."

"Nothing ever was.' He said.

"What's really going on?"

"Nothing."

"You know how I knew you were in trouble? Sophia had a dream that you couldn't see and you were tied up."

Daryl looked uncomfortable and she noticed anger flash across his face.

"What happened back there in Woodbury? Before I found you?"

"Nothing." He looked her in the eye when he said it.

"But…"

"Danni, don't okay, just don't. Leave it."

She let it go. _"_Fine, then fuck me again." She couldn't help herself.

"Again, huh?

'Its been that kind of day."

"Yeah it has."

_His eyes, his voice, his touch._

"Wait, Daryl, are you sure you're okay? I..."

Before she could say another word his mouth was on hers and her fingers were already on his belt. She needed him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Danni and the Dixons had hiked for about half the day before reaching the prison. Seeing the guard towers in the distance Danni remembered the first time she'd seen the foreboding structure in the distance. She'd been stumbling through the woods trying to avoid Rick's relentless questioning when she and Daryl planned to leave the group. She saw the towers, the sprawling concrete buildings and overgrown grassy yard that had haunted her dreams as a sign, a sanctuary. That's what it looked like now, a safe haven. She was home. They headed down the incline to the woods bordering the outer fence. Daryl heard the distinct sound of hissing growls; he slowed his pace and held up his arm. Rick's voice bellowed over the snarling. As they approached the prison fence, they saw him on the outside battling what looked like six or seven Walkers on his own. They clamored to him and he frantically used the butt of his pistol to puncture their heads but they were too much. He was losing. Danni charged forward but Daryl grabbed her arm and held her back. "Get behind me."

She didn't argue anymore; it wasn't about pride it was about the safety of the babies.

"I got this." Daryl immediately loaded a bolt and shot straight through the head of the Walker pinning Rick against the fence. The sight of the arrow sent relief flooding through Rick and he looked up to catch Daryl's eye briefly as the tattered, shredded being became still and slid off him. Merle charged the teeming corpses on the right, bashing their skulls with a pipe he'd been carrying. It gave Rick the chance to gain composure and take out a couple more himself. Within minutes all the Walkers were on the ground and crickets the only sound in the air. Rick reeled back sweating and breathing heavily almost not believing Daryl's timing. They nodded at each other, once again finding words unnecessary to convey that they had the other's back. Still, Rick had to grimace when he looked over at Merle who grinned like a fool.

"Shit." he muttered. He hadn't expected Merle to return with Daryl and Danni and had made up his mind to cut him loose if they did bring him back.

"Dary! Daryl! Danni! Thank God, thank God!" Maggie and Glenn shouted as they were the first down the dirt drive to the entrance. T Dog jogged behind them.  
Rick unlocked the gate and they filed through. As Daryl and Danni moved forward, everyone got their first glimpse of Merle bringing up the rear.

"Now we got a problem here, I need you to back up." Rick immediately put his hand out.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Glenn asked his face still a mess from what Merle had done back in Woodbury. "Look what he did? If it wasn't for him..." He and Maggie stalked forward, guns drawn.

"Put it down, put it down! Daryl held his hand out rushing toward them.

"Drop the guns!" Rick echoed

"He tried to kill Glenn!" Maggie shouted keeping pistol on Merle.

Daryl moved in front of her. "Hey I said put it down!"

"Me too if you'll all recall!" T Dog added. "Rick, you said you wouldn't let him back in here."

"You did huh?" Daryl asked looking at Rick.

"Look Daryl, I.."

"Jackass!" Merle interrupted.

"Just shut up Merle!" Daryl yelled turning back to his brother. "He helped us get out of there and just now? C'mon Rick, just now…."

"Yeah look who saved whose ass now huh?" Merle couldn't help himself.

"No way, not after what he did, no way!" Glenn aimed his gun at Merle but Daryl thought if was for him.

"Get that thing out of my face!" He shouted gruffly.

Danni caught Merle grinning at her. He was loving this. _Bastard._ He held out his arms to Rick "Hey you gonna cuff me? You gonna cuff me? I still got one good hand left." He chuckled and winked at her.

"I aint saying it again you guys, c'mon!" Daryl ordered Glenn and T Dog to lower their guns.

Merle laughed again. "Looks like you going native brother."

"No worse than you hanging out with that psycho back there!" Daryl shouted.

"Yeah he's a charmer I gotta tell you that." Merle then addressed Rick. "So what you gonna do now Sherrif? Huh? Surrounded by a bunch of liars thugs and cowards."

"Shut Up!" Rick roared into Merle's face, losing his last bit of patience.

Merle grunted, unphased. "Jesus little brother its worse than I thought, you got yourselves a bunch of real prizes couldn't hit their own asses with directions and a map."

The group was silent so Merle went on disgust in his tone. "Oh man, pathetic, all these guns and no bullets…."

"Shut up bro!"

Shut up yourself! " He turned to face Daryl. " A bunch a pussies you run with…"

At that moment Rick cold cocked Merle on the back of his head with the butt of his gun and he fell, finally silenced. He looked at Daryl, exasperated but justified. Daryl winced knowing Merle deserved it. Maybe this wasn't gonna be as easy as he thought.

"Asshole." Rick muttered under his breath.

Danni had wandered away from the clusterfuck. It was worse than she'd imagined. She planned to talk to Rick alone, get him to see her side then go to the group together. She'd been naïve to think it would have been that simple.

Daryl suddenly noticed he couldn't see her. Hell, she hadn't put her two cents in during the whole confrontation. He whipped his head around then relaxed when he saw her sitting on the ground a few feet away. When he caught her eye, she just shook her head but gave a weak smile that said it'll work out.

With the shouting silenced and Merle unconscious everyone stared uncomfortably at each other, glaring with anger and fear simultaneously. T Dog wandered slowly over to Danni and crouched. "Stephen?"

She shook her head.

"Damn girl I'm sorry."

"You're the only one who's said it."

She started to cry and he pulled her close in a bear hug. "He was a good man, you know. I'm glad I met him even for the short time I did. It was God's plan; has plans for us all."

Daryl noticed Danni crying, but before he could think much of it Rick said "We have to talk about your brother. Now!" And motioned for him to walk with him.

Daryl pressed his lips together and nodded. "That governor guy, he's gonna find us eventually. Merle knows how he thinks and we could use the muscle."

"There's more to it than that. You saw the reaction."

"Everybody will get used to each other."

"This isn't finished, not by a long shot."

Daryl huffed, and scowled. But he knew Rick was right.

Danni extracted herself from T-Dog and walked over to Maggie and Glenn. "We can talk about this right?"

"You can't be serious?" Maggie asked. Danni shot a glance over to Glenn who shook his head looking betrayed.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Merle woke up in a locked cell. This was not what he'd had in mind when he'd agreed with queenie to come back here. He thought of yelling out a set of expletives, but didn't. He figured he'd give the little a lady a chance first. But if he wasn't out of this cell by tomorrow, everybody was gonna know exactly how he felt about it. And then some. He smiled and lay back on the lumpy, thin prison issue mattress, which was not unfamiliar to him at all. He noticed Andrea walking by and couldn't help but call out to her.

"Hey Blondie, never looked better!"

She stopped and turned, one hand on her hip. "I heard you were back. Accommodations suit you." It wasn't a question.

He guffawed approaching the cell door. "Think so? Maybe you wanna come on in and join me, keep your old pal Merle company huh?"

"Haven't lost one bit of your charm Dixon, have you?"

"No, nice of you to notice. You could say I ain't as good as I once was, but I'm better once than I ever was."

She actually found herself smiling at him.

"How come we never hooked up?"

"Well, let's see, you called me a whore and a rugmuncher."

"Got a way with words, don't I?"

"Yeah…"

"I'm planning on sticking around, good Lord willin' and the creek don't rise. Maybe we'll get a second chance?"

"I see, what about the rest of the group I think they'll have a say in how long you're here."

"Mmm…so what's your vote gonna be Blondie? A vote for Merle is a vote for some life around this place. You look like you could use a little."

"Do I?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Danni stood in the doorway to Rick and Lori's cell. They were deep in conversation and didn't notice her at first. She could imagine what they were discussing.

"Rick, can I talk to you a minute? Alone?" She glanced at Lori.  
"Lori can stay."

"No, its fine, I'll leave you two. Hey," she touched Danni's cheek, as she passed "Are you okay? You look tired."

Danni nodded.

"Find me later okay. You are really pale."

Rick stood. "What were you two thinking bringing him back here?"

"He's Daryl's brother, his family."

"Exactly,** his** family not ours. There is no way Merle is gonna live here without putting everybody at each others throats."

"Not if they trust Daryl to handle him. You trust Daryl don't you?"

"Daryl is not in question here, it's not about Daryl.' His voice was hoarse.

"Yes it is. We can't make this choice for him. He has to be the one. If he says he wants Merle here then he's gonna have to keep an eye on Merle and make him coöperate."

"Danni do you really believe he can do that?"

"Yes. Maybe there was a time when he couldn't but he's different now."

"I don't know…."

"There was also a time way back when you weren't so hot to have Daryl here, or me if I'm not mistaken."

"Different levels. This is Merle Dixon we're talking about." Rick looked deeply into her eyes seeing that she believed in Daryl, in what she was saying. "Do you remember what Merle did? What he's like?"

"Shit yeah, I've just spent the past two days with the bastard."

"Then why?"

Danni saw Rick's goodness, his true desire to do the right thing. She had always trusted him and believed in him something that didn't come easy to her. He honestly wanted to do right by everyone. His face was a scruffy mess, his beard starting to show some gray. His cheeks were drawn, eyes full of the weight of the responsibility on his shoulders. He was a far cry from the clean-shaven, regulation haircut, earnest, idealistic guy in his pressed tan sheriff's uniform she'd first met. He 'd aged and darkened beyond his years as they all had. Leadership weighed heavily on him, sharpening his conscience, wits and physical features.

"Why are you suddenly on Merle's side? You've never liked the guy, I know that. He can cause a whole separate set of problems just for you."

"I know. But Daryl will leave with Merle if he can't stay. And I go with Daryl. This is not a threat or an ultimatum, it's a fact. I don't want to leave that's another fact, but I go where Daryl goes. All I'm asking for is a chance. Give Daryl a chance to make Merle do right by everyone."

"You are asking a hell of a lot. You **always **ask for a hell of a lot" Rick ran his hands over his hair and started pacing.

"Think I don't know that?"

"Even if I agree, the rest of the group, how are you gonna convince them?"

"I'm not, you are."

"Now hold on a minute…."

"You are the leader. They respect you they'll listen to you."

He looked past her.

"There are some men in this world who were born to do our unpleasant jobs for us. You are one of them. You do it every fucking day and its holding us together. You've gotten us so far Rick. We all have our part to play. Even Merle."

"This feels impossible."

"Real courage. It's when you know you're licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what."

He looked at her, eyebrow raised.

"Atticus Finch." She explained."Fitting quote, huh?"

Rick smiled a little. "You are different you know that?"

"You keep reminding me."

Rick felt a surprising affection and admiration for this girl. He never expected to see an ally or have a touchstone in a someone like her. She seemed to have been a fighter all of her life and he respected that she was able to channel her fight toward their common goal. She had offered herself up to this survival mission that day she'd willingly gone into Atlanta to find Glenn. She'd never stepped down; even being pregnant she still fought. He didn't know how she hadn't cracked having that added pressure. Danni had always come through for him, she'd brought Daryl into the group; no one else could have done that and now Rick had no idea what he'd do without Daryl. He owed her this, he owed her his trust. Still Merle...

"You have that Rick, real courage. You live it every fucking day."

"You too. And...I'm sorry about Stephen. Daryl told me. He was a good man."

"Thanks. Thanks for giving him a chance like you did."

"If there's anything I can do..."

"There is. This."

"Walked right into that didn't I."

She nodded. "Yup."

**_"_**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooo

"No way we can have him here." Maggie started the conversation. The group sat around the common table. Merle was in a cell on the second floor so he wouldn't be tempted to jump into the conversation. Daryl stood and paced a little, unable to stay still while Rick leaned against cell bars, listening thoughtfully to his group's opinions.

"You really want him sleeping in the same cell block as Danni? Carol, Beth?" Glenn asked.

"He aint a rapist." Daryl shot back.

"His buddy probably is."

"They aint buddies no more, not after the other night. 'Sides that guy's gonna retaliate; we could use Merle, use the muscle. He'll stand with us. He's blood."

"No he's **your** blood. This is my blood my family right here." Glenn argued.

"And Daryl, you're part of that family." Carol said gently. "But he's not. He's your brother, but he's not good for you."

Danni saw Daryl's jaw clenching and that he was balling his fists.

"Man, ya'll don't know." He rasped.

"I don't want have a snake in the nest." Glenn said with finality.

"Man we gonna go through this again? Merle is staying here. He's with us get used to it. All y'all."

"I thought we were voting." Maggie countered. "You sound like you already decided."

"She's right. We need to vote." Rick interrupted.

Daryl stormed off. Danni didn't go after him, but she knew it didn't reflect well on Rick's case that Daryl could handle Merle and keep him under control.

"Look, Merle has military experience. He may be erratic but don't underestimate his loyalty to his brother. " Herschel quelled the impending hostility with his calm drawl. Danni looked at him gratefully.

"We all agree Daryl belongs with us. He's part of the group, the family." Rick nodded over to Carol."If Merle stays he'll have to handle him, make sure he doesn't cause any trouble. I think we owe Daryl that, owe him a chance." Rick stated his opinion.

"Daryl can do it, he'll make Merle do right by everyone. Atlanta was a long time ago, everybody deserves a second chance." Danni added.

Finally it was time to vote. Glenn, Maggie, Carol, Lori, Beth, T Dog and Andrea voted Merle out. Rick Herschel, Daryl and Danni voted him in. Majority rules.

Danni followed Rick outside to the fence where Daryl was leaning looking out at the yard. "Daryl, I'm sorry, Merle's out." Rick's voice had a finality to it.

"Just like that?" Daryl sounded resigned.

"That's it? You're not gonna try again?" Danni caught up to them.

"I've done all I can. We voted. The group doesn't want him here. They don't feel safe."

Danni's stomach dropped to her knees. "But its a trial period, did you tell them that? Just give it a chance…let him prove himself...he…" She felt Daryl's hand on her shoulder.

"C'mon. We'll be okay." He said quietly. "Don't beg." He rasped into her ear so Rick couldn't hear. "Fine, we'll fend for ourselves. " Daryl told Rick making a sweeping motion towards Danni.

"That's not what anyone is saying."

He shrugged. "Don't matter it was always Merle and I before this."

"Daryl, no one wants you to leave."

"No him no us. That's all I can say."

"Danni?"

She was quiet, feeling like she didn't know the group at all. "We'll be gone in the morning. Tell everyone they can relax."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

"I was thinking, maybe we could go back to that house, the ghost house. Stay there, fix it up, make it safe so I could have the babies?" Danni said when they'd reached the second floor.

"He nodded. Maybe. You know I'll take care of you."

"I know."

She looked around at what they'd amassed for baby supplies. The portable crib playpens, two car seat carriers, the piles of clothing and hygiene supplies. Toys. She was both overwhelmed and desolate. They couldn't bring it all, they had no idea where they were going or how long they'd be on the road. Travel light. She sighed noisily.

Daryl heard her loud exaggerated sigh. 'What?" he asked.

"Just trying to fucking decide what to take." Her voice was hostile. She started going through the piles, forcefully tossing things and roughly shoving small items into her duffel bag. She suddenly pushed the crib boxes over and threw the carrier at the wall. She kicked boxes of diapers across the floor.

"Whoa, whoa...Danni what the hell?" Daryl walked over and stopped her from breaking something.

She turned, her eyes looking slightly frantic. "What am I gonna do? We can't bring all of this shit! We need it, we worked so hard to get it and it's just a waste!"

"Hey, I thought you were okay with this?"

"Okay? Of course I'm okay with it, it's just that it's completely fucked up and dangerous and just... completely fucked!"

"Jesus get over here." He grabbed her and forced her to sit on the mattress beside him.

"Quiet down, everybody can hear."

"So what? Good! I'm glad they can hear. I'm just so pissed!"

"At me?" He asked.

"No, not at you at them! How could they do this? I really thought they'd listen, I really thought they'd come around."

"Me too, but they didn't. Accept it."

"Maybe if I talked to them, just me…"

"Danni we don't beg."

She got quiet. "Is it really this important to you? Really?"

"He's my brother."

"Who treated you like shit for most of your life."

"He fought for me back there okay?"

"Maybe. But you fought for yourself. You got through that... whatever it was." He still hadn't told her. "You got yourself out of there, me out of there. It wasn't Merle it was you."

He shook his head. "You don't know." The helplessness of having his hands tied, no weapons, at the mercy of those pricks. He began clenching his fists. Merle had fought for him.

"I do know. I was there. He was wasting time waving his gun around acting like a jack ass. You got us out. You got us food and to that house so I could sleep the night. You did all that. You're not the scared little brother anymore."

He looked at her like he couldn't believe she'd said the words. If anyone else had said it he'd tell them to shut the fuck up.

"You don't need Merle. You're fine on your own. You've been fine all this time. Remember when you wouldn't look me in the face when we talked? You'd look down at your feet. That's shame. He reminds you of it, I know he does. He makes you feel it again. You used to always give me a side stare that said 'Don't look at me while I'm talking to you.' Now you look me in the eye with every word. You stand up straight. You're a man, your own person. Baby, I see it, can't you? Shame doesn't suit you anymore. It doesn't fit."

He shifted uncomfortably. "Don't. Don't tell me how I feel."

"That's not what I meant."

"Sometimes you say too much. Can ya just stop now? Man..."

She nodded feeling how conflicted he was.

"I just want my brother back." He said softly looking at her. "Okay? I got a second chance."

_Merle had said the same thing._

"Things are different now Danni. He's family. And so are you. And them." He nodded at her stomach. "Family has to stay together. First time in my life I feel like I have it. I'm not losing it."

When he said that she was family, she felt her emotions start to settle, the flood ebbed. "I know, me too. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I haven't changed my mind. I'm with you. This was just….well, you know how I get. I haven't had a good meltdown like that in ages."

He smiled a little. "Nah, you haven't. Kinda forgot what a wildcat you are."

She laughed. "It felt really good. Really good." She leaned on him. "Hey, just fucking hold me." He did. "You know, I spent most of my life travelling with one bag. Shit Daryl I was a road dog before all this and I can be one again."

"That's my wildcat." He kissed the top of her head.

"Anam Cara." S_oul mate. _She added.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooo

It was close to sunset when Danni helped Daryl and Merle pack their few belongings into up the pickup truck Rick insisted they take. He didn't want Danni to have to endure a journey on foot. They did most of the work, she was directing like all the times she'd moved to a new apartment and got her guy friends to help. She smiled at the irony. She'd decided on bringing just baby clothing and hygiene items. The bigger stuff was not practical. Travel light. The last thing they did was roll the Triumph up a plywood ramp onto the truck bed. The visual echoed the first moment she'd ever seen the Dixons. On the highway in a beat up truck hauling a chopper. She never thought she'd ever be one of them. Her first impression was so off. She thought Daryl would kill her in her sleep. She started laughing.

"What?" He asked.

"Nothing." she shook her head.

Danni you don't have to do this!" This isn't what we meant. You and Daryl belong here, Merle doesn't."

She heard Glenn's voice behind her.

"I know; you guys made it clear it's about Merle. "

"Then why are** you** leaving?" Maggie asked. "No one wants that."

Danni didn't answer.

"So you're just gonna go? Just like that?" Glenn pushed.

"You'd do the same thing. Daryl's going with Merle no matter what. I go with Daryl. I have to. Would you let Glenn go off and leave you?" She asked Maggie.

"Glenn would never leave me for someone like Merle."

"Don't go there Maggie; don't say a word against Daryl. "

"Merle tried to kill Glenn."

"I'm sorry for that I really am."

"I just don't understand how he can do this. How you can...everything we've been through. Danni there's gotta be another way."

She looked at them both with regret and some sadness. It wasn't easy. "Look I'm a Dixon too now. For better or worse."

Hey, you comin"?" Daryl appeared behind her. "We got a long day tomorrow, should probably turn in."

He didn't acknowledge Glenn or Maggie, just Danni.

She nodded and let him guide her away from them.

They had packed up most of their stuff and the back corner of the guard station perch that had been their home for the past few months looked barren and uninviting. Two candles burned and one blanket covered the mattress. Danni sat on it and leaned back against the wall, flipping through her journal until she found the page she was looking for.

"Merle's still locked in that cell, believe it? Shit we're leaving tomorrow and they won't even..." Daryl complained.

"It's okay, we'll be out of here soon. They have their reasons I guess."

He flopped down beside her with a grunt.

"We'll be fine." She brushed the hair from his forehead and began to read aloud from the journal,

_"We will honor and respect one another,  
and seek to never break that honor._

_These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as we promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever._

_These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together we build your future. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other._

_These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy._

_These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.** These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.**_

_**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooo**_

"Danni don't go. I don't want you to go." Sophia's face was red and puffy from crying. Danni turned and felt her heart break. She and Daryl had pulled Sophia aside the next morning to say a private goodbye.  
"I don't want to go either, but I have to sweetie. I'm gonna miss you so much."

She looked down at Fionn, trotting after Sophia like a puppy. "You know I can't bring him with me. Cats need a stable place. Would you take care of him for me? "

Sophia was silent. Her face devastated. Then she cried, "Babies do too. You can't leave. The babies need to be here. I 'll never get to meet them if you go."

Danni held back tears._ Shit. _This was the hardest part of leaving_. Sophia. "_Hey ladybug, I'll always be with you okay? Whenever you think about me, visualize me, have my picture in your mind. I'll do the same thing. We'll always be able to feel each other okay?" She hugged her tightly. "Sometimes people have to leave. But I'll always love you."

"I'll aways love you too."

Daryl stood by looking on with a pained wince. He was going to miss that kid. And the cat; the damn cat too.

Sophia turned and looked up at him. "Take good care of Danni. Promise?"

He choked up a little, "Yeah, I will."

"I'll always love you too Daryl." She said hugging his waist. He didn't move back just put his hand on her head. "You're one tough little girl. Know that?"

Danni couldn't hold back tears at that point.

Sophia stepped back. "I know."

"Hey, thanks kid." He said.

Sophia knew exactly what he meant but she wanted him to say it, "For what?"

"For Danni." He swallowed hard. That little kid had brought them together. He'd never forget.

"You're welcome."

Danni put her hands over her face because she was crying so hard.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooo

After the gate had closed and the dust cleared behind the battered pick up truck, the group converged on Rick.

"How can you let them do this?" Carol asked horrified.

"Look, they made their choice. They chose Merle. Nothing I can do. " Rick answered.

"You let Daryl just leave and take Danni too? How could you? That girl is gonna be due soon, three months. Rick, you gave her a death sentence. If they even make out there that long." Lori criticised him.

Rick looked at them with anger and disbelief. "Me? We voted!"

"But if they governor does retaliate, we need Daryl, we …" Glenn started

"You want me to chase after them? Throw down a welcome mat for **Merle?** Hell, you voted him out! What did you think was gonna happen? You can't have it both ways."

"But..."

"Look Glenn this is the hand we've been dealt! Deal with it. All of you!" Rick shouted and left the cell block. He knew Glenn was right but they needed to understand. They voted Merle out. This was the price. Danni had told him told them all. Time to pay up.

After the crowd had dispersed only Herschel followed Rick out to the concrete yard where He sat on the cement stairs.

"Do you believe that?" Rick asked him. "They just don't get it."

"No they don't. But you do. Can I give you a bit of advice about democracy? A very just, fair man once said _'Before I can live with other folks I've got to live with myself. The one thing that doesn't abide by majority rule is a person's conscience."_

_"W_ho said it?"

"Atticus Finch. One of my favorite characters in literature."

_Danni. _Rick thought.

"Rick you let your conscience down I can see that. It's a loss, yes, but we will get though this. Just make sure you never abandon your conscience again."

He'd let Danni down not just his conscience.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo 

They pulled over to the side of the road to look at the map. "We should try to hit that store we was at a couple of months back." Daryl suggested.

Merle looked over his shoulder at the paper spread out on the hood. "Maybe head north try the mountains."

"You hear that?" Daryl asked looking up.

"Yeah, wild animals getting wild." Merle answered.

"Naw, that's a baby."

"He's right." Danni agreed.

"Why don't you just piss in my ear and say its raining too. That there's the sound of a couple coons making love sweet love."

"C'mon," Daryl dismissed him and headed toward the source of the crying as it got louder. The infant was screaming now and Danni heard fearful shouting in Spanish coming from a bridge several yards in front of them.

"Ya vienen! Qué debo hacer? Qué debo hacer?"

"Hey! Jump!" Merle shouted and laughed at the desperate people fighting off Walkers on the bridge.

"Jesus Merle," Daryl muttered and headed toward the river bank.

"What?" Merle asked seeing the disgusted looks on Danni and Daryl's faces. He went on "Hey, man, I ain't wasting my bullets on a couple of strangers that ain't never cooked me a meal or felicitated my piece. That's my policy. You two 'd be wise to adopt it."

Daryl ignored Merle and ran toward the bridge. As they scrambled up the bank he turned to Danni, "Stay back and outa the way."

She didn't answer just climbed up as carefully as she could behind him, hearing only the baby's cries.

The run down graffiti covered bridge was littered with abandoned cars and the pavement was strewn with clothing. Chaos ensued as a Hispanic family tried to fight off a small herd of putrid, shuffling dead that swarmed the bridge. It was impossible to get past them.

"Move! Move!" Daryl shouted to the first man he could see.

The father and teenaged son looked apprehensive as Daryl approached shouldering his crossbow. They stood atop a flatbed truck trying to stay out of reach of the hungry corpses.

"Come on, man. I'm trying to help you out. Cover me!" Daryl shouted aiming his crossbow at the first few Walkers stumbling toward him.

Danni didn't know much Spanish, but she'd picked up a little in Texas. The people were panicking and she was afraid they thought Daryl was attacking them too.

She tried to shout over the chaos. "Esta bien! Its okay, esta bien!"

"Hey I told you to stay out of the way!" He yelled at her. "Get out of here, now!"

"They're scared! Hey, we can help! Ayudar nosotros podemos ayudarle a…" she said and finally the man jumped from the truck and retrieved the pistol he had dropped. He shot the Walker behind Daryl who now swiftly moved forward using his knife to plunge into the skulls. Danni ran over to the red SUV where a woman sat crying in the front seat clutching her infant.

"Santa María llena eres de gracia..."

Danni heard her praying and tried to focus on the beautiful words instead of the sickening squelch of her trench knife sinking into the back of the of what was once a human being's head. It had been a while since she'd done this. Turning back, she impaled another snarling, rotting geek beside the first. A sharp pain shot up her forearm as she hit bone and her wrist refused to bend. "Shit!" Just as the Walker slid down the door of the vehicle another one came from the left. She kicked, stunning it just long enough to ram her knife in its eye. She had never really gotten used th the horrible smell. That stench! Excessively sweet perfume combined with rotting meat and eggs. Her gag reflex was working overtime as she focused on keeping the woman and baby safe, while Daryl helped her husband and son clear the bridge. She clenched the knife between aching fingers; she was already getting tired, not possessing the stamina she used to have but her adrenaline helped. She wasn't sure how long she could hold them off by herself_. _She reached down to open the door asking "El baby, cómo está el baby… how is the baby?"

The woman kept crying but looked up gratefully. The baby was so tiny, so helpless…..Danni absently held her own belly.

"Bein, gracias, gracias."

She was staring, distracted by the tiny creäture. It was the first baby she'd seen since before the Walker shit, since before she became pregnant. _Its so...beautiful. I never thought babies were cute before ._...

"Behind, you queenie, watch out!" Merle suddenly came to life, and shouted at Danni. "That one is gonna kill you, watch out. I got ya!" He shot a Walker about to pull Danni from the frightened mother.

She looked back and caught his eye, he shrugged and sauntered toward them letting Daryl and the two men finish the battle.

"Easy does it, señorita. Everything's gonna be fine." He said to the terrified woman.

"Merle back off. Leave her alone!"

"Settle down queenie. The least they can do is give us an enchilada or something, huh?"

He pulled Danni from the side of the car and leaned in to the back seat rummaging. She lost her balance and fell back onto the ground. The father approached trying to stop Merle saying "Si tocas a mi mujer, te mato. Aléjate de mi coche!"

"Slow down beaner, that aint no way to say thank you." He pointed the gun at the man's face. "Speak English why don't ya?"

"He says leave his wife alone!" Danni translated. "Merle get away from their car, c'mon!"

Daryl made his way around the car slowly, watching his brother. He felt unreal like he was seeing Merle for the first time. Really seeing him. "Let 'em go." He rasped.

Merle ignored him and moved further into the back seat rummaging. Daryl caught the eye of the worried father and read the helplessness on his face. The man was desperate to protect his family; his wife and two children. _ Protect them from Merle. _Daryl ignored the twisting in his gut, took a deep breath and aiming his crossbow at the back of Merle's head gruffly ordered "Get out of the car."

"I know you're not talking to me, brother."

Daryl turned his head and shouted to the men "Get in your car and get the hell out of here!"

"Go! Get in your car!" Danni repeated. "Go! Recibe en tu coche!"

Merle backed up out of the car and turned to face Daryl, their standoff tense and palpable. Daryl clenched his jaw and glared, facing his fear, facing the disapproval of his older brother. He looked into the face that he looked up to for so long and realized he was nothing like Merle. He kept his aim and stared him down, doing what he knew was right. Merle saw something different in Daryl's eyes and didn't snap back at him. Once the family had driven away, he swung the bow away from Merle's head and grunted. He stalked away, retrieving arrows from the heads of the fallen Walkers as he passed. Danni tried to keep up, while Merle lagged behind, considering Daryl's display. Finally he caught up at the edge of the bridge. He grabbed Daryl's arm.

"The shit you doing, pointing that thing at me?"

Daryl pulled back. "They were scared, man."

"They were rude is what they were. Rude and they owed us a token of gratitude."

"They didn't owe us nothing."

Danni didn't say anything, just let Daryl handle it.

"You helping people out of the goodness of your heart?"

"Shit Merle there was a baby!"

"Oh and otherwise you woulda' left them for the biters."

"You just don't get it."

"Get what?"

"All a man wants is to protect his family. A man is a man, don't matter what..." He couldn't finish out loud _what color his skin, is what language he speaks. A man's got the right to protect his family. "_Especially now, the way things are now. What if it was me, my family?"

Merle just stared open-mouthed a look of disgust on his face. Daryl shook his head and turned away from his brother. 'Hey," he took Danni's arm. She was breathing hard, adrenaline still racing.

"You okay? I told you to stay back, you can't do stuff like that no more." He touched her stomach.

"That little baby, the baby is okay, they're gonna be okay. You saved their lives." She smiled and he couldn't be angry at her for risking her own. She got it. She was proud of him. _Are you a racist son of a bitch like your brother? _She'd wanted to know when they'd first met._ No I'm not, he'd answered her. _

He understood then that they couldn't have their own babies out here on the road.

"C'mon.' He said and took her hand. They headed to the embankment.

"Where you two goin?" Merle shouted

"Back where we belong!"

"I can't go with you!" Merle added.

Daryl kept walking, holding her hand tighter. He squeezed her fingers together painfully but she didn't care. Danni looked up at him. Something had changed.

_**AN: I got some fearful pm questions about Merle's fate! Don't worry about him! Necessary spoiler here: he's going back to the prison with D and D and may start to have some breakthroughs of his own? D and D are his family after all! Daryl will always love him and remember Danni wanted the group to give him a second chance-deep down she sees the good in him. BUT...Its not going to be easy ( he is Merle!) more turmoil on the way! You Merle lovers are so sweet to worry about him! He's in good hands with me! I promise! I love him too ;)**_

_**xx**_


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